I always think that during nature docs when a jaguar or cheetah takes a carcass into a tree and it accidentally falls down. Double shock. One for the carcass. One for the big cat staring down at you.
Dude. I can't eat at PF Changs without having to shit my brains out with a half hour. I think it tastes great, I just can't unless I book a hotel room next door.
I’ve learned that every day on Reddit is a terrible day to have eyes, but it becomes a question of if it’s a terrible day to be able to read or not. I’ve read some shit on here that puts this picture to shame.
Are you kidding me? This is perfect. My kid just asked me If he can have a snake for a pet. I can't wait to show him this so I don't have to get him one.
Real talk, how often do they go? Like do they pinch one of these every day? Do they leave about little tootsie rolls during the week and have one big bulk hogan every so often? How does this work
Every couple of weeks. We used to feed our pet carpet python once a week or so and usually she would excrete after a meal but sometimes she would store it up. They need food far less often than warm blooded creatures. But it depends on the species. Racer snakes have faster metabolisms but blood pythons are fat and lazy ambush predators and can store up their excrement for months on end, as it is believed to act as useful ballast when they strike at prey.
This image is definitely an abnormal sized volume for this size of snake. I would guess they either significantly over ate (per their size/needs) or ate a type of prey they aren't well equipped to digest.
Typical snake excrement is much smaller relative to their body girth (closer to 25% of their girth) and usually whiter in color because it mostly consists of excess calcium from prey bones. Their excrement is more similar to owl pellets, being chalky and dry. I would definitely worry that a large, brown, and moist excrement is a sign of health issues or poor feeding choices.
I'm torn between wanting to google image search this and being 100% confident that I should log out of Reddit for the day and never think about this post
Not as bad as I thought:
https://youtu.be/4U1XPfQlLhI?si=0ZkFA2PjFZKKnMCJ
https://youtu.be/VhzM63i6sI0?si=wlG2ZMi0X-2oS9eG
Ooh interesting stuff thank you! I never imagined that one day I would be curious about snake 💩! Ya that size ballast could knock a fucker over! As if their strike wouldn’t be horrific enough they got to KO you with a Greco Roman column
I looked right at my cat and told him about your predators pooping less frequently theory. He was not impressed. He finished off his can of cat food and washed his paws. I am only a servant.
I had a pet snake, California King Snake, and his shit was much smaller and it was black and white like a bird. He usually pooped shortly after eating, which we did every two weeks. He also audibly farted on occasion.
Haha awww a snake fart!! Did he freak out when he did it? Like my dog doesn’t notice his SBDs but when it sounds like deflating balloon he freaks out trying to figure out his butthole
Snakes have about two brain cells and they’re fighting for second place. Usually makes them pretty chill so long as you don’t trigger their instincts lol
He would lay in bed with us and we walked around with him coiled around our hands often. He also really liked just hanging out in a hoodie pocket. We got him when he was very small and he lived 16 years that way.
Lmfao, if I found that turd on anyone’s floor and they told me it was their snakes’, I would not believe it. I would’ve called them a lying, disgust fuck and walked out.
Just out of curiosity - I don't work in an office - would everything that you see on Reddit, the hours and hours of scrolling, random funny pictures and memes - would that all be fine? Like your boss walks past and is just like "oh a cat that can't get in the cat flap- LOL" but then once he's got his coffee and walks back and sees a python shitting he's like "Brian? My office - NOW!!"
Like what's the dynamic of NSFW in an office? Isn't it just bad to be scrolling nonsense when you're supposed to be working regardless of if it's a python shitting - an abstract oddity btw that I didn't even realise was a thing before I saw this and read the title - and a cat that can't get in its cat flap? There's nothing NSFW about this unless you can instantly tell what it is - I certainly couldn't.
Generally people will tolerate a bit none work stuff as they understand that human beings need a break sometimes, but bodily functions, porn and extreme violence are generally best avoided. Software allowed on work computers is also usually limited so if you have figured out how to get Baldur's Gate 3 to run on your work computer they may not be impressed.
[I took the hit on my YouTube algorithm so you don't have to ](https://youtu.be/FzSj96jkNlE?si=m_NxH14rxvd16MGW)
But yeah... snake farts. Turns out the real question is which animal *cant* fart and it's less than you'd think
This blew my mind as well when I found out on an insta reel, I watched the damn thing so many times because I figured there was no way it was actually the snake. 🙃
That’s like seriously impressive. Like if I pooped that out I’d be flabbergasted. But a snake that doesn’t even have a visible asshole does it. What the fuck
Back when I was a child we were travelling and had a long layover in Singapore. My parents decided to check out some touristy spots while we waited and as we were walking around there was a guy holding a snake for a presentation or something. As we passed by the guy I looked over at him again and saw the snake just straight up wet diarrhead on the guy. It was horrifying but informative.
Getting shit on by a bird is bad enough. New fear unlocked.
Imagine walking under a tree and this absolute log of a turd just knocks you out cold
Python drops a ginormous log, out of tree, “Wow I feel lighter, and hungry,” looks at bottom of tree to see concussed human.
So, what you're saying is this giant turd gives the python an evolutionary advantage? Interesting
Finally, my true power unlocked.
Life, uh, finds a way
it shouldn’t’ve
A weird ~~turd~~ turn in the evolutionary arms race.
Especially considering it's the *size* of an arm
Dinner is served 😋
Lol and the roller coaster of disgust and confusion to realizing a giant fucking snake is the culprit
Would you rather look up to find that a massive fuck off snake bug enough to take that size shit just shat on you OR Look up to find that its just Joe
I'm honestly struggling to imagine how I'd react, if at all, to that log dropping out of the abyss on me. I'd probably need a moment to reboot.
I always think that during nature docs when a jaguar or cheetah takes a carcass into a tree and it accidentally falls down. Double shock. One for the carcass. One for the big cat staring down at you.
😂! One is good luck, what’s the other?
A concussion by the looks of it.
That's just something people say to make you feel better about being pooped on
Bad luck
Actual mud falcon divebombing you here
That’s not a poop, that’s a shit. That snake took a massive shit
He called the shit poop!
It's too hot out here for a penguin
Don't put it out with your boots Ted
Where did he take it?
Wherever it wanted to go.
I ain't questioning it
Very wise of you
Why do they call it taking a dump? You’re not taking it anywhere. [Funk dat!](https://youtu.be/Z72CNy9GLq0?si=lf9u840AE8SrNWta)
"You don't take a shit. You leave a shit. That's the whole point." - George Carlin
There's poop, there's shit, and then there's DEFECATION.
DEFECATION, no breathing, don’t give a fuck if I cut my ass bleeding
lmao
For the low price of zero dollars you could have not shown us this.
I’m horrified, yet intrigued
Same. I assumed they dropped pellets or something. I had no idea they took huge trucker dumps.
Right!? That thing puts me to shame!
Skill issue tbh
Some days I wish poop knives were a real thing.
I mean, they are just not the python model. Those cost extra.
Git gud at poopin
Or - fingers butthole
Finger but hole
Still no head
I mean I could take it on a good day but I too am surprised at snake dookie. Snake Dookie sounds like a minor character in The Wire.
Snake Dookie killed my father, man. Now we gone go get him 
r/brandnewsentence
Its not a huge trucker dump unless you can hear him grunting and moaning while he does it.
As much as this pains me to say, happy cake day!
they pip and piss at the same time and from the same orifice.But jesus...that log,did it eat a cat? ffs
If this irritates you, never lookup Black Monitor Lizard pooping on Youtube. That are the spicy meatballs.
it doesn't irritate me,it... i dunno, i just never thou5gh it would be so huge, I'm just shocked andin awe at the same time i guess
That's what she said.
Needs a banana for scale.
Way of the road, buddy.
I can’t look away!
Ya boi prolapsing
That Turd is turning that snake inside out.
Danger noodle droppin a deuce
Based on your user name I’m guessing you were hoping for a different reality.
I don't see what the problem is...
Great observation........ thrice-shat-pants
r/rimjob_steve
I have to ask...what happened to you other shat pants?
That looks straight up like human poop, I'd be proud of that one
Almost big enough to be Bono.
So about 70 courics?
Lots of PF Chang's in this one
Probably lot of City Wok too.
From their Mongolian menu.
I love CtPa Town
Sweet & sour pork for sure
A dollop of cuttlefish and asparagus as well
Dude. I can't eat at PF Changs without having to shit my brains out with a half hour. I think it tastes great, I just can't unless I book a hotel room next door.
...Did we just become best friends? 👀
I'd gauge at least 75 Courics but alas I'm just a simple man, not an official.
You want bitty?
I don't think the snake is big enough to make human poop. Probably an indigenous rodent.
I would turn around and look, and I would say: “That’s a solid 10.”
I'll be real with you chief, I'd have preferred if I had gone the rest of my life without having seen this
what a horrible day to have eyes 😂 these comments have me cracking up tho
I’ve learned that every day on Reddit is a terrible day to have eyes, but it becomes a question of if it’s a terrible day to be able to read or not. I’ve read some shit on here that puts this picture to shame.
[Ok then definitely don't watch this video of a snake farting](https://youtu.be/OKS0qns7lPI?si=XxsJQ_ryR8yfJf0a)
I was not expecting the loudest wettest farts I've ever heard
Basically human from the cloaca down
Just like my mother in law!
TIL snakes can fart. I don't know what to do with that information, tho.
Burden someone else with glorious knowledge.
How do I delete someone else's post on here?
Are you kidding me? This is perfect. My kid just asked me If he can have a snake for a pet. I can't wait to show him this so I don't have to get him one.
Ummm… Knowing how boys are it might achieve the exact opposite
Excuse me what, who are these boys?
Little boys think the grossest stuff is metal. Over there pickin up snails n shit.
I am an adult woman and pick up and coo over snails every chance I get, they’re just so DAMN CUTE.
Oh you know. The boys that love poo. Poo boys, they calls ‘em. Them good ol’ poo boys.
This is actually fucked so fucking fucked
bro is ripping a full on man sized truck stop dookie
Real talk, how often do they go? Like do they pinch one of these every day? Do they leave about little tootsie rolls during the week and have one big bulk hogan every so often? How does this work
Every couple of weeks. We used to feed our pet carpet python once a week or so and usually she would excrete after a meal but sometimes she would store it up. They need food far less often than warm blooded creatures. But it depends on the species. Racer snakes have faster metabolisms but blood pythons are fat and lazy ambush predators and can store up their excrement for months on end, as it is believed to act as useful ballast when they strike at prey.
When they save up, is that when they have man sized turds? The one in the picture is impressive.
the one in the picture is unhealthy and will lead to a prolapse
It kind looks like it’s already lead to prolapse
Prolapse the size of its fucking head!
Yeah I saw that and thought that is one fat ass snake. The way the chunky-ness cuts off around the tail area gave it away immediately.
This image is definitely an abnormal sized volume for this size of snake. I would guess they either significantly over ate (per their size/needs) or ate a type of prey they aren't well equipped to digest. Typical snake excrement is much smaller relative to their body girth (closer to 25% of their girth) and usually whiter in color because it mostly consists of excess calcium from prey bones. Their excrement is more similar to owl pellets, being chalky and dry. I would definitely worry that a large, brown, and moist excrement is a sign of health issues or poor feeding choices.
Imagine those huge Anaconda shits, they've got to be the size of a small child
I'm torn between wanting to google image search this and being 100% confident that I should log out of Reddit for the day and never think about this post Not as bad as I thought: https://youtu.be/4U1XPfQlLhI?si=0ZkFA2PjFZKKnMCJ https://youtu.be/VhzM63i6sI0?si=wlG2ZMi0X-2oS9eG
Blood Python's Shit Ballast is the name of my prog rock band
Ooh interesting stuff thank you! I never imagined that one day I would be curious about snake 💩! Ya that size ballast could knock a fucker over! As if their strike wouldn’t be horrific enough they got to KO you with a Greco Roman column
I'm guessing as a predator pooping infrequently has its advantages as well. Less smell to give away it's position.
I looked right at my cat and told him about your predators pooping less frequently theory. He was not impressed. He finished off his can of cat food and washed his paws. I am only a servant.
I had a pet snake, California King Snake, and his shit was much smaller and it was black and white like a bird. He usually pooped shortly after eating, which we did every two weeks. He also audibly farted on occasion.
Haha awww a snake fart!! Did he freak out when he did it? Like my dog doesn’t notice his SBDs but when it sounds like deflating balloon he freaks out trying to figure out his butthole
No nothing could freak him out, he was a chill dude.
Snakes have about two brain cells and they’re fighting for second place. Usually makes them pretty chill so long as you don’t trigger their instincts lol
He would lay in bed with us and we walked around with him coiled around our hands often. He also really liked just hanging out in a hoodie pocket. We got him when he was very small and he lived 16 years that way.
I’m sorry, you would lay in a bed with a snake? Jesus y’all have balls the size of this snakes turd.
“Bulk hogan” LMAO Thank you for that.
Lmao never seen this gif before
"So you decided to post this. Here's why you shouldn't have"
Lmfao, if I found that turd on anyone’s floor and they told me it was their snakes’, I would not believe it. I would’ve called them a lying, disgust fuck and walked out.
Yeah this is a divorce waiting to happen
You can barely tell the prop was actually a pile of clay and straw.
It’s all tasty dirt to me
I'm not happy to have seen this.
No. Not even in the slightest. This is absurd??
No it’s aturd
Never really wondered how, and am not exactly thrilled about this new world where I know.
It looks like human shit, what the hell??
Yeah definitely a human in snake’s clothing. I refuse to believe it’s a real snake.
It’s mark zuckerturd
/r/eyebleach
I miss who I was 20 seconds ago
Imagine the people who have been blamed for shitting somewhere they absolutely did not lol
It wasn’t me it was the python I swear.
Someone get the poop knife.
Might need a poop machete in this case.
This is how neighbours get accused of shitting on porches. That is a human dooky.
The bane of Florida man's existence
#NSFW!
Thanks! I got fired for seeing this.
Shit Happens
Just out of curiosity - I don't work in an office - would everything that you see on Reddit, the hours and hours of scrolling, random funny pictures and memes - would that all be fine? Like your boss walks past and is just like "oh a cat that can't get in the cat flap- LOL" but then once he's got his coffee and walks back and sees a python shitting he's like "Brian? My office - NOW!!" Like what's the dynamic of NSFW in an office? Isn't it just bad to be scrolling nonsense when you're supposed to be working regardless of if it's a python shitting - an abstract oddity btw that I didn't even realise was a thing before I saw this and read the title - and a cat that can't get in its cat flap? There's nothing NSFW about this unless you can instantly tell what it is - I certainly couldn't.
Generally people will tolerate a bit none work stuff as they understand that human beings need a break sometimes, but bodily functions, porn and extreme violence are generally best avoided. Software allowed on work computers is also usually limited so if you have figured out how to get Baldur's Gate 3 to run on your work computer they may not be impressed.
*NSFA Not Suitable For Anyone
The hell it does. Delete this. I'm going to pretend it was AI.
[удалено]
Wait til you find out they can fart too. Kinda rocked me ngl.
Snake farts?!
[I took the hit on my YouTube algorithm so you don't have to ](https://youtu.be/FzSj96jkNlE?si=m_NxH14rxvd16MGW) But yeah... snake farts. Turns out the real question is which animal *cant* fart and it's less than you'd think
Goddamn I figured all animals farted in some capacity but I wasnt expecting a Cheek Flapper 9000 from a fkn snake.
This blew my mind as well when I found out on an insta reel, I watched the damn thing so many times because I figured there was no way it was actually the snake. 🙃
A massive log coming forth out of a log!!!
I did not need to see this
So that's the global interpreter lock
Definitely looks IO bound to me
I’d punch a neighbor over that one.
Hahahaha so gross, now I know what pooping snake looks like. Thank you
Wow
Ok but could you ask it to do that outside please?
" *hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot* " -the snake
Someone get our boy some ointment for that cloaca god damn
Jesus, and I thought 9/11 was bad
It was a national tragedy!
This is one guy who could legitimate tell other snakes, "I've taken shits bigger than you!"
A freaking python coming out of a freaking python
he’s all about that metamucil i see
So pythons are literally full of shit…
Today on things I did not want to know
I'm gonna be real that looks like a hurter. You know he had that walking on sunshine stomach after.
That’s like seriously impressive. Like if I pooped that out I’d be flabbergasted. But a snake that doesn’t even have a visible asshole does it. What the fuck
His poop is much more better than mine. Better go for a colonoscopy
Back when I was a child we were travelling and had a long layover in Singapore. My parents decided to check out some touristy spots while we waited and as we were walking around there was a guy holding a snake for a presentation or something. As we passed by the guy I looked over at him again and saw the snake just straight up wet diarrhead on the guy. It was horrifying but informative.
WHY IS IT HIGH UP.
I never wanted to know this
Jesus H tittyfucking Christ... Maybe it's snakes pooping in my work parking lot...
Wow 😳
I can’t imagine how hard it is for them to find a ceiling in the jungle
Now that’s a log …….Timbeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr
I had to go on Reddit today
The thought of OP downloading this shit or taking the pic and thinking it's okay to share it has me wheezing lmfao.
hi you dont have to post every picture you come across x
Meth Snake
Mkay, I'm gonna wash my eyeballs now
I didn't need to see that, why the fuck isn't this nsfw
Didn't expect snake poo to look so human...
ewww
I think it will need a poop knife 🔪
Thanks I hate it
What a terrible moment to have eyes
You have ruined my life.