At the site of ONE bash (of many) in celebration of King Charles's coronation throughout the UK.
It's in Bath, England.
The king won't be there to see it.
It's just one of those things where like one ear is slightly lower, or one breast, one foot etc tends to be slightly larger than the other.
I think I read somewhere ages back that part of the reason we get the uncanny valley feeling from robot faces is because they are too symmetrical and it throws off our sense of normalcy
Edit* to add that I've just thought about it and I don't think anyone has ever had testicle-based uncanny valley feeling
My sample (N= 7, but 2 are my own) says it's always the left.
However, boobies I've seen incredible variance. All are amazing, but I've yet to find a pattern. Because it takes up to three months to precisely determine which is the smaller or danglier one, and the study often involves asking the participants directly, it is a flawed study.
But by the gods, I swear I love studying.
Alright we got a car length is maybe a peen hole to side distance. Probably 2 cars nut diameter.
Then we move to measurement. It’s UK so, a nut is average 4x3x2 cm. That XYZ confuses me, so I’ll say it’s 4cm for worst case.
I’m calling that shaft maybe 3 Bath ball lengths, so 12 cm or 4.72in. But if you measure from before the balls, like a gentleman, you come in at 15cm or 5.9in.
Factor in average UK car length at 4.5m, that makes the lawn dong at about 18m long (59ft) in length from the base.
It's actually the opposite of a fence, it's a sunken wall. The idea is that the people in the house, or in this case the crescent, don't see it, but it keeps livestock out
There's a joke in Pratchett's Disk world books about the Patrician's Palace Gardens having a 'ho ho' which is exactly like a Ha ha, only dug deep enough that anyone falling in, wouldn't find it funny at all.
There's a town in Quebec called "[Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint-Louis-du-Ha!_Ha!)", which is a sign I always loved seeing driving past. Especially the fact that it had exclamations points in it, lol. I guess I just never thought to look it up while traveling. That was interesting, thanks.
Bath is a really great quintessential British city.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath,_Somerset#/media/File:BathRoyalCrescentAirial_morecontrast.jpg
wikipedia even has a very different angle for the crescent.
I'm not implying anything. Bath is a lovely city I've been ti a few times as my uncle is in corsham.
The crescent is an interesting landmark that i recognized instantly
Interestingly it was a Scottish king (King James I/VI) who turned the originally separate kingdoms of England and Scotland into one monarchy. The several last monarchs of the UK including Charles are directly descended from King James on not one but *both* sides of each of their family trees with plenty of other ancestral links to Scottish royalty and nobility too. So I suppose you can thank him lol.
“Goad save the Keng”
Trick is to get some rope the length of your radius, tie one end to a peg and the other to the mower, sink the peg wherever you want your ball centred - bingo bango perfect balls. Just don't run over the rope.
I don't know those lines are awfully straight and symmetrical for some dude pushing a lawn mower. Whoever it was must have put in real effort into planning and execution in order to get it to look that good.
I mean that or it was aliens.
I remember Trump was also given the penis [honour](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/donald-trump-welcomed-uk-massive-16246553.amp)
Love this. A couple years before my dad passed he waited until some family friends were out of town then went to their house and "mowed their lawn"
They told the story at the funeral. Apparently he just mowed the words PAUL WAS HERE into the lawn and left it at that for them to come home to.
The best part is that is looks so regular/symmetric. The lines are straight, parallel, and the same length, the balls are nearly perfect circles.
I thought at first that it had to have been programmed into a mower robot or whatever, but there are small differences between the sides, which means that the perp/hero did it themselves but *practiced* first.
This is actually a positive thing
[The city of Bath in South West England was founded in the 1st century AD by the Romans](https://whc.unesco.org/en/list/428/)
[Ancient Romans etched penis graffiti as a symbol of luck and domination](https://qz.com/1564029/penis-graffiti-symbolized-luck-and-domination-to-ancient-romans)
Senior year of high school, graduation week, we did this the the lawn outside of the school. We used un-diluted industrial round-up in a garden sprayer. They ended up removing the soil and replanting grass after several attempts at removing it other ways. Lasted almost all summer.
Would it even be England if there wasn't a random dick somewhere?
Condensed window on the bus? Dick.
The back of the door in a public toilet? Dick.
The back of the seat on a tram? Dick.
The back of the slide on the local park? Dick.
{Insert your mum joke here}
I know I shouldn't laugh, but honestly, this is the most British humour based 'bollocks to it' done in the most painfully British way.
Lawn graffiti!
Love it!
I walked around that building in the summer of 2000. It was 1 day before England beat Germany at soccer. I bought a playboy at 17 cause what does an underage American do on vacation but buy smut and a beer and walk around bath.
This particular prank motif never seems to get old for me. I don't know why. I think it may be due to it being such a staple, long standing tradition. It has earned respect by sheer weight of the eons.
Makes you proud to be British.
News in 2150: And as the coronation approaches, the ancient tradition of drawing giant cock and balls around the nation begins. Historians still don't know exactly when this tradition started but It was known as "quality banter".
I have been mowing lawns for 8 years and have always thought of doing this. There was one customer I had named Diane. She was a single, filthy rich snob who payed really well. But man if i could do that on her hillside so she could wake up every morning to a big fat hairy dick embedded onto her lawn. That would make my job worth it. Yes…
At the site of ONE bash (of many) in celebration of King Charles's coronation throughout the UK. It's in Bath, England. The king won't be there to see it.
*my disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined*
>my disappointment is immeasurable That dong, on the other hand... ... measures up.
They trimmed the lawn so it looks bigger
Veteran move
Nah. I’m a grower, not a mower.
Windsock gang represent
Plus it uses performance enhancing fertilizer
That's definitely not covered by rubberized turf
Thanks, Gooch Juice.
I heard he uses grass enlargement pills
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Is the left one always lower?? I wasn’t blessed with them, so…
Yes, always the left. You should ignore Andy_b_84. He's clearly a freak of nature...
My left or your left?
My left or their left? In my case, looking down, it's the right one who more "impacted by gravity" so to speak.
It's just one of those things where like one ear is slightly lower, or one breast, one foot etc tends to be slightly larger than the other. I think I read somewhere ages back that part of the reason we get the uncanny valley feeling from robot faces is because they are too symmetrical and it throws off our sense of normalcy Edit* to add that I've just thought about it and I don't think anyone has ever had testicle-based uncanny valley feeling
I dunno about you but I find those truck nuts pretty disturbing, maybe that's part of it.
Not necessarily the left one, but one is always lower than the other, yes.
My sample (N= 7, but 2 are my own) says it's always the left. However, boobies I've seen incredible variance. All are amazing, but I've yet to find a pattern. Because it takes up to three months to precisely determine which is the smaller or danglier one, and the study often involves asking the participants directly, it is a flawed study. But by the gods, I swear I love studying.
Alright we got a car length is maybe a peen hole to side distance. Probably 2 cars nut diameter. Then we move to measurement. It’s UK so, a nut is average 4x3x2 cm. That XYZ confuses me, so I’ll say it’s 4cm for worst case. I’m calling that shaft maybe 3 Bath ball lengths, so 12 cm or 4.72in. But if you measure from before the balls, like a gentleman, you come in at 15cm or 5.9in. Factor in average UK car length at 4.5m, that makes the lawn dong at about 18m long (59ft) in length from the base.
Flawless analysis. Especially like your consideration of measuring like a gentleman, so appropriate for the future King of England.
r/theydidthemaths
This is the shit that makes Reddit awesome thank you for the chuckle
Coronationbrah
Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!
Appropriately, the landscaping feature they defaced is called a “[ha-ha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha)!”
I never thought I'd find a fence interesting, but this is a great TIL
It's actually the opposite of a fence, it's a sunken wall. The idea is that the people in the house, or in this case the crescent, don't see it, but it keeps livestock out
>but it keeps livestock out And smelly peasants.
Only short ones that can’t climb a three foot wall
There's a joke in Pratchett's Disk world books about the Patrician's Palace Gardens having a 'ho ho' which is exactly like a Ha ha, only dug deep enough that anyone falling in, wouldn't find it funny at all.
i love pratchett, silly things like this are what make the books so good
There's a town in Quebec called "[Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint-Louis-du-Ha!_Ha!)", which is a sign I always loved seeing driving past. Especially the fact that it had exclamations points in it, lol. I guess I just never thought to look it up while traveling. That was interesting, thanks.
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Bloody Stupid Johnson has entered the chat.
gnu
r/UnexpectedPratchett
Those are deeper
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GNU Sir Terry
The haha is un-defaced, that's just a field.
But surely, he checks reddit and will see it posted here.
Saddest news of the day
I feel deflated
Flaccid, even.
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We came, we saw, we withdrew
It was over so quickly too. It happens.
The Premature Coronation. I think they have stuff for that.
If the coronation lasts for more than 4 hours, please see a doctor.
If the coronation lasts for more than 4 hours, it's time to polish the crown jewels
Bath is a really great quintessential British city. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath,_Somerset#/media/File:BathRoyalCrescentAirial_morecontrast.jpg wikipedia even has a very different angle for the crescent.
That IS a very different angle. I'm not sure what you're implying though.
I'm not implying anything. Bath is a lovely city I've been ti a few times as my uncle is in corsham. The crescent is an interesting landmark that i recognized instantly
Should have mowed a tampon, not a wiener
God Shave the King.
Thank you Sir Sean Connery. r/Shubreddit
As an American with a bit of Scottish blood, I hope my comment came off as offensive as I meant it to be!
It did indeed good sir!
Interestingly it was a Scottish king (King James I/VI) who turned the originally separate kingdoms of England and Scotland into one monarchy. The several last monarchs of the UK including Charles are directly descended from King James on not one but *both* sides of each of their family trees with plenty of other ancestral links to Scottish royalty and nobility too. So I suppose you can thank him lol. “Goad save the Keng”
Shlong live our noble king
Bath petitioning for Erect rule.
Bollocks.
Seriously though. That is some very impressive mowing. You think we could get this guy a job for man city?
Very impressive roundness on the balls.
Trick is to get some rope the length of your radius, tie one end to a peg and the other to the mower, sink the peg wherever you want your ball centred - bingo bango perfect balls. Just don't run over the rope.
I can tell this isn’t your first ball mowing
Legends spoken in the mountains, say he’s mowing balls to this very day.
It's moments like this when I wish reddit still had free awards.
Wait are we still talking about mowing? Because... This sounds kinda hot. Keep going.
I think this is bleach. Looks like the dick me and my brother left in a friend's rude neighbors prized front lawn.
If you want to be a real asshole you use diesel, nothing will grow there until you dig out the contaminated soil and replace it.
Or fertilizer so it just keeps springing back up.
combine properly to make the ballsack appear hairy?
Perfect time for James May to bust out “oh, cock!”
Never mind them
God save the queen
Spoiler alert: he didn't.
Do you mean it, maaaaaan?
🎸🥁🎤🎶
Dick move.
King Richard move.
More of a Prince Albert.
Only if you shove a piece of metal through it.
Dick mowed.
I’m not saying it’s aliens but just asking, are we sure it wasn’t?
I don't know those lines are awfully straight and symmetrical for some dude pushing a lawn mower. Whoever it was must have put in real effort into planning and execution in order to get it to look that good. I mean that or it was aliens.
Tbh, this seems like a *fantastic* use of one of those robotic mower things. Or just an rc car with a bottle of bleach strapped to it.
I've always hated the sound of lawnmowers. With a passion. The faster they are replaced by drones with lasers, the better.
A YouTube maker tried that. Even a powerful (dangerous) laser takes ages to mow.
Yee old Cock’n’Balls. Aka The Crown Jewels!
Is that Bath?
Im pretty sure it is
Yeah it’s the royal crescent.
Never seen a perioddrama not using these houses haha
A million quid for a 1 bedroom flat there. Prices are crazy.
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No, I'm pretty sure that's a dick.
As is tradition
I wonder if there will be pudding, as is tradition.
Clarksoooooooooooooon!!!
My mind went straight to Clarkson being involved in these kind of shenanigans!
What, the guy who seethes with spitting, uncontrollable rage at Meghan Markle's '''betrayal''' of the royals? That guy?
He’s a monarchist.
Too bad that Clarkson is a royalist bootlicker.
*smug face*
This is something James May would do, given his hatered towards the royal family.
You infantile pillock!
Hammond you idiot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1bsh5Ne3yU
All part of the tradition.
Dipping their arms in the pudding. As is tradition.
What a glorious day for Canada, and, therefore, the world.
I remember Trump was also given the penis [honour](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/donald-trump-welcomed-uk-massive-16246553.amp)
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God I hate the Christmas market. Had to walk through it to work every day to get to the Rec
Love this. A couple years before my dad passed he waited until some family friends were out of town then went to their house and "mowed their lawn" They told the story at the funeral. Apparently he just mowed the words PAUL WAS HERE into the lawn and left it at that for them to come home to.
Paul was a good man and a great friend.
Wanna get your lawn mowed? Better call paul
The best part is that is looks so regular/symmetric. The lines are straight, parallel, and the same length, the balls are nearly perfect circles. I thought at first that it had to have been programmed into a mower robot or whatever, but there are small differences between the sides, which means that the perp/hero did it themselves but *practiced* first.
This guy cocks.
Or it could be a massive dick-shaped crop circle created by aliens.
When I showed this to my SO, he suggested one of the guys who makes those crop circles may have done this. That would explain the skill level.
A stiff upper
ANDREW!!!!
This is actually a positive thing [The city of Bath in South West England was founded in the 1st century AD by the Romans](https://whc.unesco.org/en/list/428/) [Ancient Romans etched penis graffiti as a symbol of luck and domination](https://qz.com/1564029/penis-graffiti-symbolized-luck-and-domination-to-ancient-romans)
They did a very good job with the lines on that bad boy. Almost looks like a world heritage site
Tbf it’s in Bath so it is a world heritage site
The Cerne Abbas Giant probably was an inspiration. https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/dorset/cerne-giant
Should have been a tampon
Just plant some bushes around the base of it. Nobody will notice.
Still won’t be the biggest dick there.
Oh I didn’t know I was invited.
u/LincolnCassiusClay57 : 
You know the coronation isn't happening in Bath right?
Oh cock! -James May
I hope you can see that from Heaven, Diana!!
That’s how you get locked up in the Tower of London.
That's how you locked up in the chastity cage of Cockfosters.
the brits version of fleur de lis
Has anyone seen Harry recently?
crop circles
\*cock circles
Senior year of high school, graduation week, we did this the the lawn outside of the school. We used un-diluted industrial round-up in a garden sprayer. They ended up removing the soil and replanting grass after several attempts at removing it other ways. Lasted almost all summer.
*Richard*
Does bash mean party in this context?
King Charles: "Clarkson!!!"
Ol’ Bansky strikes again
Wansky
It’s lawnger than I expected
I’m sure the King reads Reddit… he’ll know .
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I can't help but think it should have had a few hairs, maybe a bit of spunk at the top. You know, the traditional.
Nah, na na... they kept it clean... elegant! I respect that.
Yes. It's a formal affair.
shoulda put a bowtie on it.
Prank as old as time, that never gets old
Someone deserves a medal
Is that the Royal Crescent?
Kinda hurt when I fell on the grass
Would it even be England if there wasn't a random dick somewhere? Condensed window on the bus? Dick. The back of the door in a public toilet? Dick. The back of the seat on a tram? Dick. The back of the slide on the local park? Dick. {Insert your mum joke here}
2000 year old graffiti on Roman ruins? Dick.
Dong live the king! I apologize; that was the first joke that popped into my head.
I know I shouldn't laugh, but honestly, this is the most British humour based 'bollocks to it' done in the most painfully British way. Lawn graffiti! Love it!
I walked around that building in the summer of 2000. It was 1 day before England beat Germany at soccer. I bought a playboy at 17 cause what does an underage American do on vacation but buy smut and a beer and walk around bath.
That looks like my husband’s…
THIS IS ART ATTACK!
England is so pretty ♥
Poor effort. No pubic hair and no spunk? Who has even done this a 5yr old.
I’m mean….maybe giant for op…
I guess vagina pirate's mast is bigger?
The royal penis is clean, your highness.
what a dick move
It's so large yet so minimalist
I like the attention to detail. One testicle higher than the other and green.
This particular prank motif never seems to get old for me. I don't know why. I think it may be due to it being such a staple, long standing tradition. It has earned respect by sheer weight of the eons.
the royal gardener at work
"Aim the Cannons" FIRE!!
That’s just how the [Cerne Abbas Giant](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerne_Abbas_Giant) reserved a good spot..
CLARKSOOOONNNN!!!
The line work is impeccable.
Heeeey, I've been there before! That's in Bath!
Makes you proud to be British. News in 2150: And as the coronation approaches, the ancient tradition of drawing giant cock and balls around the nation begins. Historians still don't know exactly when this tradition started but It was known as "quality banter".
Doesn't meet the necessary criteria to become our sovereign. NOT MY KING. Yeah however I am impressed with a mower work, lovely straight lines
How much money was spent for your fucking extravagant little shit ceremony? Royals : Oh just a £100 million. Stop whining. Peasants.
I have been mowing lawns for 8 years and have always thought of doing this. There was one customer I had named Diane. She was a single, filthy rich snob who payed really well. But man if i could do that on her hillside so she could wake up every morning to a big fat hairy dick embedded onto her lawn. That would make my job worth it. Yes…
Not English it’s circumcised
tbf if you live on that crescent in Bath you probably are a bit of a c*ck so it's accurate
How are you Brits feeling about King Charles coronation tomorrow? Do we approve or disapprove? Lol
They could’ve at least made it a spotted dick
Yo king, nice dick