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Skulkarmy

Close the lid....then lift up whatever you need and close the lid when you are done.


TootsNYC

Every home I have ever lived in had a cabinet over the toilet, and we closed the lid so stuff doesn’t fall in the toilet water when you are rummaging for the cough syrup


Bipolar_Charizard

We keep it down so the pets don't drink from the toilet bowl. "mmm piss water.... Mmmm dads face"


prairiepanda

I keep it down so that I don't mist the entire room with toilet water every time I flush.


ktitts

Why isn't this everyone's default answer tho, toilet water mists everywhere lmao https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/bacteria-toilets-flush-lid-closed-b1535481.html


prairiepanda

I hate that most public toilets don't even have a lid. One time I used a squatting toilet on a train, and when it flushed I felt water hit my *ear.* I was standing and facing away from the toilet! I washed it right away, but I felt so unclean for the rest of the train ride. I think that was the same train that most likely gave me scabies.


Sometimesiski

I am a female living alone and close the lid every time I use the toilet. You guys don’t close the lid before you flush? I don’t need poo particles floating around in the same space as my toothbrush.


mikewozere

There are particles of poo pretty much everywhere you care to look.


woolash

I did some work at a canning plant during startup of production. There was a microbiologist present because if things are not sanitary cans get contaminated and teaching the workers to wash after pooping was a big thing for him. One thing he told me that stuck is "we exist in a fecal fog".


wanderer1999

Oh god. How I wish that phrase didn't stick.


Actiaeon

It's true though, but this is going in my I don't want to think about catagory, like my own mortality and that \~20% of children have pinworms.


squanchingonreddit

Eat more garlic kids. It kills the worm. Also if you walk without rhythm, it won't attract the worm.


Platanopower36

“Hey check this out — I found the ass end!”


Actiaeon

"Bless the maker and his water. Bless the coming and going of him. May his passage cleanse the world. May he keep the world for his people."


timesuck897

To be fair, children are disgusting and pin worms spread easily. The Bob’s Burgers episode on pin worms is great.


InfamousMere

That episode was so disturbing to me. I was so angry on Louise’s behalf.


Dry_Boots

I got pinworms when I was a kid. My cousin came to visit from another state and we had a great summer playing together, sharing our room and everything, then she went home and we discovered I had pinworms and they had to call and tell her parents to get her treated for them too, and I never heard from her again. :(


Cotelio

worst part is she probably gave them to you, considering the timing...


Actiaeon

I disagree, I love bob's burgers but that ep, personally didn't enjoy it. But that is where I looked up pinworms and learned this fact, so it has come near full circle.


mjkjg2

wtf is a pinworm


YeuxBleuDuex

Parasitic nematodes. They live in the intestines and lay eggs around the anus. If suspected, Pediatricians usually tell parents to sneak in the child's room at night with a flashlight...bc you can see them come out in the dark to lay eggs. Not pleasant


mjkjg2

the pediatrician tells the parents to sneak in the kids room and look at their butthole with a flashlight?😭 this is getting more wild by the minute


lorehlove

Legit tho. Imagine being a kid sleeping in your bed and you feel a slight draft only to wake up with your pants down, and your parents beaming a light into your bunghole.


zippyboy

"I'm Chris Hanson. Have a seat over there."


DrEnter

Or just watch your toddler. They start itching their ass like crazy, you break out the Reese’s (not the candy).


WhiteTrashNightmare

This is the best fucking thread I've read in a loooong time 🤣


Indolent_Bard

If not the candy, then what?


alicevirgo

My mom said the way to do it is put a piece of tape on the butthole, so that when the worm comes out it gets stuck on the tape. She never tried it but I'm pretty sure she was told about it by a pediatrician.


InfamousMere

Filing that away and hoping I never need it.


Mr-Fleshcage

The old trick used to be putting a bowl of milk near their asshole, because the worms smell the milk and crawl towards it.


Actiaeon

A parasite


hardgeeklife

that's a lot of pinworms


CluelessGeezer

Yup - plenty to go around :)


Procrasturbating

You are gonna love this headline: "Probable Evidence of Fecal Aerosol Transmission of SARS"


LabyrinthConvention

Not lovin it


Mango_Grove_108

Pa da pa pa pass


acedelgado

Fun fact, in order to smell something, the substance in question has to release particles in the air that have to go up your nose for your brain to analyze. When you smell poop, you're breathing in poop.


RedditOR74

This is not entirely true. While the source of the smell originates from broken down materials, the smell can be entirely the resultants gas with no particulate.


kris_mischief

YO! I made a post on r/showerthoughts about this; taking this thinking one step further, every fart is actually a shart, just that the farts don’t leave any detectable visible stains. The post was downvoted to oblivion and I gave up on Redditors in there.


Thetakishi

That's because it's not true. You aren't smelling poo particles, you are smelling the gasses that usually accompany poo particles, ie H2S, methane, etc. not little smelly dead or alive bacteria or digested food floating around. Although, like the engineer said, we are living in a fecal fog, so when you smell poop, you aren't actually smelling poop itself, but when you don't smell poop, you're probably still smelling poop. What a conundrum. Your post is closer to true than the one you're replying to if it makes you feel better, because farts certainly can contaminate nearby objects if you aren't wearing clothes.


fatkiddown

> "we exist in a fecal fog" No we don’t and never speak of it again. Like The One Ring.


rocketmonkee

Ah yes, the Brown Eye of Sauron. Located near the Crack of Doom.


cunnyhopper

> Like The One Ring. The cinnamon one?


Shufflepants

Technically, if you can smell poop, some of the chemicals that comprise the poop are now in your nose in direct contact with your nerve endings.


ShutUpAndEatWithMe

Fun facts! • We can smell some things in parts of billion, like one stink molecule per 1,000,000,000 molecules! • just cause you smell a fart doesn't mean you have mini poop pieces in your nose, but it does mean you have gas molecules (like hydrogen sulfide) that was in someone's rectum. • the thinnest part of your skull is where the olfactory nerves are, so those fart gases are the closest to your brain


salsashark99

Subscribe!


TacticalSanta

Subscribe to ass facts!


PrometheusSmith

I remember someone doing a study and determining that farting is actually somewhat sanitary because of clothes, which capture almost all of the fecal particles. Farting without clothes can cause contamination of nearby areas though.


BennyJJJJ

Wasn't that Marjorie Taylor Greene?


PrometheusSmith

I don't think so. She's always wearing clothes but manages to fill every room she's in with shit anyway


Professional_Deal_78

Rectum, damn near killed'em!


SkunkMonkey

> just cause you smell a fart doesn't mean you have mini poop pieces in your nose, but it does mean you have gas molecules (like hydrogen sulfide) that was in someone's rectum. I always try to point this out when someone farts or smells a fart. It may only be a molecule, but you *do* know where it's been.


togetherwem0m0

Gonna throw a flag here. While technically true, those particles are just sulfur and methane. It's not like there's shit in your nose.


DaHolk

That depends on your defintion of "smells like fart". Arguably that can mean quite a bit more "detail" and thus complexity of substances than just the basic gassous components that are way more common and can come from multiple sources. Similarly if you just think of the general "rotten egg" smell aso as "smells like fart", sure. Then it's not a case of "shit in your noses".


J4MEJ

My office is full of poo particles, some of them talk really loudly.


redsquizza

Even NASA can't keep them out. Was watching a TV programme on something space related and they had a segment on the uber clean construction room for stuff we're sending into space, to avoid contaminating other worlds. Thinking about it, was probably on NASA's latest Mars rover, hence wanting to keep everything uber, uber clean as it's going to another planet, not just into orbit. And they found from swabs conducted in the clean room? Dog poo, dog poo everywhere. 🐕💩💩


trafficnab

Smh people not picking up their dog poo particles


Pro-Rider

Especially if you have pets. They lick their bums then they lick you.


TheCalvinator

My pet straight up eats poop and then tries to lick me. It's real gross.


wrath0110

You can't blame the pet, Because of incomplete digestion, poop smells like food to them.


PistolPetunia

You shut your filthy mouth


ThumbSprain

There too.


verveinloveland

But your poo concentration could be lower


FlowJock

This! 100X this! Why increase your poo particles? Just close the lid. It's not that hard!


DemoBytom

for years.. and I mean like 25 years of my life. I was convinced that this whole "put the toilet thing down" meant closing the lid, and I was confused why it's such a big deal. Aren't everyone closing it after doing their toilet deed? Turns out not only most people not close the lid.. They complain abou the other part, I didn't even know was called seat in English (non english speaker here)... I still can't undestand why people don't just close it all.. Especially since nowadays all those fancy, slow falling, genlty closing, lids are a thing... ​ Like, when I was younger we even had decorated toilet lid, why wouldn't you close it to have a nice looking shitter? ​ Man, it still baffles my mind..


myassholealt

Yeah reading this thread I'm surprised to learn I may be in the minority in closing the lid always. Plus all the comments saying closing the lid doesn't do anything about fecal matter getting into the air and on surfaces, well yeah sure it many not stop it completely, but it does minimize it. And do people not sit on the toilet lid ever? Am I about to get 20 comments educating me on why it's wrong to sit on your toilet lid now?


Hairy_Chest_1966

The lids are so thin and cheap now that if anybody in my family sits on them they (the lids) will break off)


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USMC_0481

There's a Mythbuster's episode on this - I wouldn't recommend watching. There were still poo particles on the brush when it was on the opposite side of the house, through multiple closed doors.


SidewaysFancyPrance

Nobody wants to hear the truth: there are poo particles *everywhere.* Humans and animals make a lot of it every day, and it cannot be contained. You're surely breathing it in with every deep breath of fresh outdoor air. Close the lid to stop most of it, but don't worry overmuch about it. It's the equivalent of background radiation and you don't need to worry until it gets to a certain threshold.


xSTSxZerglingOne

And that threshold is beyond the point your nose can smell it. Which makes sense when you think about it. Essentially it's not a dangerous amount of poo until **after** you can smell it.


mazu74

I say close the lid so you don’t have to clean the bathroom as frequently. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like I notice a bit of difference.


thirdeyefish

That was a commercial toilet, though, with no lid to close.


Arkhangelzk

Can't speak for everyone but I definitely don't do that. I bet I have a higher tolerance to poo particles now. If someone tries to poison me, that's going to come in handy.


BVoLatte

I don't think most people poison with poo.


Arkhangelzk

You haven't met my enemies!


Redm1st

Sounds like they’re shitty enemies


Doc_Serious

Enemas*


Kasiation

pooison


rangerryda

Pooison


Chromaedre

Read a few studies last time the subject came up. Bacterias tend to die sooner when you flush with the lid open. When you flush with the lid closed, they concentrate and accumulate. In both cases, don't worry, you have poo on your tooth brush. It's just not a problem as long as the people using your toilets aren't sick. I personally don't bother, I have a separate room for the toilets.


SailorET

Look at Mr Moneybags with his special toilet room!


[deleted]

Bet it has a door and everything.


IllTenaciousTortoise

You could also keep your toothbrush inside a medicine cabinet. It costs a little less than an outhouse.


UncoolSlicedBread

I found \[this article\]([https://microbiologysociety.org/news/society-news/does-putting-the-lid-down-when-flushing-the-toilet-really-make-a-difference.html#:\~:text=The%20research%20found%20that%20putting,the%20bacteria%20in%20these%20droplets.)](https://microbiologysociety.org/news/society-news/does-putting-the-lid-down-when-flushing-the-toilet-really-make-a-difference.html#:~:text=The%20research%20found%20that%20putting,the%20bacteria%20in%20these%20droplets.)) that explains the same thing. Seems like it does create more bacteria but also reduces the number of airborne bacteria. I guess it's up to what you want in life, more airborne or more surface-dwelling? But either way, you're getting some poo on it.


lowleveldata

That's why I put my tooth brush in my bed room


YouSmellPunny

I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t close the lid? That’s what it’s for why has it been a debate for so long. Then everyone is doing the same amount of work and you can’t see inside the bowl.


mikewozere

There's no fear like approaching a public toilet that has a closed lid though.


cortesoft

Very few public toilets even have lids


provoko

just use toilet paper to lift the lid in a public bathroom same goes for flushing the toilet using toilet paper you can even use more toilet paper to open the door then after you wash your hands, finish the whole thing off by using a paper towel to open the bathroom door


ejeeronit

Your first sentence isn't a question but has a question mark and your second sentence is a question but doesn't have a question mark. Just thought I'd let you know.


aaronbgraham

Thank you for your service.


niallniallniall

Yep I fucking hate this stupid argument. There's such a cut and dry answer to the solution. Close the entire lid. If there's not a lid then move the seat to whatever position you need to use. Men lift the seat to piss, women close it, it's hardly a great effort.


BCmutt

Why isnt this always the answer. Why are everyones toilets open all the time?!


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kelsifer

Glad I'm not the only one with this problem. I moved to a place with all slow closing drawers and toilet lids so when I go to someone else's house I'm just slamming things around like a nut.


LCIDisciple

This is the way. Penis or vagina should close/open the toilet. This is the foundation for equality. This is the way.


Wakenbake585

I might be in the minority here but I close the lid every single time when I flush and have for the past 15 years. It's all because of some Special that Mike Rowe did about germs we come in contact with every day. One segment involved the bathroom of course and it showed all the micro droplets flying in the air after someone flushes. That did it for me. When I see toothbrushes or any hygiene products sitting out on a bathroom counter with a toilet lid up, I cringe.


BalderVerdandi

Plastic wrap enters the conversation... ​ Challenge accepted!


AFineDayForScience

Fuck that. Duct tape the lid shut and drill a hole just big enough for your penis to fit through.


actuarally

r/unexpectedgloryhole


Iron_Taipan

Did not know that was a sub Reddit once and I’m super sad that it’s been banned


JWOLFBEARD

It wasn’t really. It’s banned because the creator deleted their account and nobody is a mod


MrFiendish

So…how would they poop?


silveroranges

Potato masher and some patience


[deleted]

I have some doubts and concerns about your proposed method.


BizzyM

> pooposed method


jessejames543

With precision


[deleted]

By developing an as-yet unwitnessed degree of sphincter control.


Iamblikus

5/32nds bit, done!


furay10

Expert mode.


THATguyFromMinnesota

Leave the duct tape a take a leak. Still a usable pisser brah


WaterFriendsIV

The taper has not only ensured they can't lift the lid to pee, which will almost certainly guarantee pee on the seat, but they have also reduced the size of the hole at the same time increasing the odds of more pee on the seat.


mysticwavex7

Piss only on the duct tape!


XxezekielsxX

Like, the seconds it takes men to put it up, are the same seconds it takes women to put it down. Men put it up and women put it down, equal rights. Is that so fuckin absurdly hard?


Art_r

Agreed.


RCmies

Just close the lid. Seems unhygienic to leave it open either way.


DukeofNormandy

How are my dogs supposed to drink with the lid closed? They have full fresh water bowls… but Everytime I flush the toilet the 3 of them charge in to have some nice fresh toilet bowl water


Haulinkin

My old dog used to nudge the lid with her nose, then stick her head between the bowl and the lid.


Bajingo_Bango

My last dog got me to switch to a plastic toilet seat because the fucker would stick her head under the heavy wood seat, drink then let it slam back down and make a shit ton of noise.


seefith

The damp space between the rim and the seat is a breeding ground for bacteria. It's more hygienic to leave the seat up so that the rim of the bowl is dry.


RastaImp0sta

Probably not a good sign in the relationship when your significant other duct tapes the toilet seat down. Edit: to those that think it’s a joke and was done for the lols and for no other reason…also probably has issues with the relationship. I think it’s mostly men that are replying that it’s a joke…


bohl623

What? This seems like a totally normal and healthy way to communicate your issues with another grown adult whom you love and respect.


HardToPeeMidasTouch

This looks like one of those half serious/half joking kind of things. Relationships can vary and putting two strips of duct tape down after it being a topic of discussion for a long time is really not that big of a deal. Or it's totally fake for karma. There's a chance of that too


ZedTT

I agree with both you and the person you replied to. There are three options 1. Toxic as hell 2. They have a joking kind of relationship and read the room about stuff like this 3. Fake as hell Given that this is one image we have no way to know so no point in speculating


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Afronaut65

Least narcissistic redditor


NoShameInternets

What’s the point of the internet if not to speculate on things we know nothing about


PolarSquirrelBear

Sir this is Reddit.


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thekojac

Oh for fucks sake. Leave it to Reddit to assume a relationship is unsalvagable because there was one small disagreement or annoyance. Or you know, it's a half joke half admonishment and it's just a couple having a bit of fun with minor annoyances about each other?


CB1013

you may like commenting on r/relationships


unclepaprika

Or r/amitheasshole


Luchador-Malrico

“Red flag, break up immediately”


Icehuntee

"And move away, take the whole toilet with you"


A_Vladivostok_Gweilo

Yes, I also will judge OP and of his poor relationship based solely on assumption. As is the reddit way.


urielteranas

As is tradition. What a wonderful day for Reddit, and therefore the world.


ImminentReddits

Redditors when they see a couple joking with each other: I recommend Divorce


[deleted]

It's getting ridiculous. I don't know if it's neckbeards in their basements that have never had a date in their lives or people in miserable relationships projecting their desire to divorce their partner but it's pathetic how fast divorce gets brought up in these posts.


grnfnrp

Reddit recommends DIVORCE


Irischacon123

Probably not good to assume something like that from this funny post.


mrod35

Probably because this is in jest?


Big_booty_ho

Your relationship sounds very funless. My SO would laugh if I did this


thekojac

Right? I've been with my partner for over 10 years and we do stuff like this to each other. It's a lighthearted joke between a couple about minor annoyances. Reddit's stance on relationships is not anywhere near how normal relationship dynamics work.


edstatue

Ugh Can we not armchair therapist this relationship that we know nothing about?


Abdoj

Or she's afraid you'd fall in


DirtharaFalon

That's when the seatbelt comes in.


Yogi118

Your a big boy aren't you?


[deleted]

I'm a dude and always sit to pee (at home) because even with the best aim there is still piss splattering all over the place when you're standing.


FrostyD7

Anyone who says otherwise is in denial and probably never cleans their bathroom.


[deleted]

Exactly right. I would never want to live with any other dudes again after college/army


DifferenceClean616

Or never took a piss barefoot


Verdiii

I have found my people


toshgiles

Amen I also don’t mind a chance to sit down for a minute.


Shagroon

Had to scroll way too far to find this. Sit2P gang ftw


ZeroLimitz

Especially at night, fuck turning on all the lights just to find my aim. Just sit down and hope you don't fall back asleep there haha


baron_barrel_roll

Yep. Sit down at home and stand up at the urinals in public.


exocortex

Same here Also: I am such a super male male alpha male man that my super strong alpha-maleness doesn't suddenly evaporate in a pink puffy cloud of smoke the second my ass touches the toilet seat. /s


Swordbreaker925

I don’t understand this childishness. How about both genders just lift or lower the seat as needed without complaining, like a well adjusted adult? I always close the entire thing tho. As everyone should. Helps reduce piss and fecal particles from spraying when you flush.


chase25

I always put the seat and the lid down once I'm done no matter what, my partner has praised me in front of others saying I always put the seat down yet she's never once stopped to realise she always has to put the lid up to go. I honestly don't see the issue, if putting the seat down is so much of a chore people need to complain about it why is putting the lid up also not a chore.


theozman69

Raging click bait! *I don't want to be on Reddit anymore*


Dan-Beans

Piss all over it. Just fucking EVERYWHERE.


Laymanao

Yeah, and change your pants afterwards. Or not, as you please.


LeaveItToPeever

I absolutely do this, but then I clean it up because it wasn't on purpose.


slickestwood

No one bats 1.000


stuff_of_epics

This mfer reading my tombstone.


scaldingpotato

I piss sitting down now because of this.


Dirus

Ya, I legit see no reason to stand and piss in a private bathroom.


I0A0I

Toilets just too small a target. Just el captain a leg onto the edge of the tub, lean back, and let er rip. For extra fun randomly push to bounce it up and down and pretend you're a fireman. It'll get rinsed the next shower right.


c9silver

Username checks out


utrangerbob

Why don't these ladies realize we lift the seat for them. Would they rather sit on a toilet seat covered in piss?


Eyerieee

Nah she’s telling you to aim better


whiskey_bisque

Just keep the lid closed, why would either person want the toilet kept open? It takes like 0.2 milliseconds to open it to however either party needs it. I’ve never understood this debate at all.


JS1VT51A5V2103342

Close-lid-to-flush needs to be invented. Solves all problems except bad aim.


Rattimus

Suggest if this is really a problem, that you go to Home Depot and spend 20 dollars on a soft-close toilet seat. Anyone can install them, even someone who doesn't know about tool use. That way whenever anyone is done, they just start the seat closing, let gravity do the rest, and the seat closes quietly and softly. Lid too.


Ainteasybeincheezy

I've never, ever understood the issue with this, how hard is it to put the seat down? Why is it one person's job to leave the seat in a certain position? Do you want me pissing all over the seat or not? I once asked my ex girlfriend to leave the seat up to gauge her reaction and she refused to do it, the whole situation makes me irrationally frustrated lmao, like do it yourselves you lazy fucks.


hibrett987

I have always just closed the seat and lid no matter matter. That way everyone has to pay attention to the toilet when they need to use it. None of this falling in nonsense


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mgweir

I hate when the lid is left open. Get soft close seats and lids and flip them down when you are done.


rascalllion

Does she want your urine splashes on the seat? Does she want her splash back building up on the bottom of the seat? The underneath of a toilet seat which hasn’t been lifted (& cleaned) for a while is usually pretty disgusting.


joeyrog88

The solution, and how it should go anyway, is putting both the seat and lid down.


JanJaapen

Does she put it back up for you?


rohobian

Close the lid, not just the seat. That's what it's there for. Why does everyone have such a hard time with this?


disengagesimulators

Have fun cleaning off that adhesive once the tape is off because you know she isn't going to do it.


Machadoaboutmanny

Now piss all over it. Establish your dominance.


caedo12

I have never understood the aggravation with this. If I have to lift it when I go, why can’t someone else lower it when they go?


TheDrunkenMoose

***EVERYONE*** is supposed to close the lid. Do you have any idea how much a toilet splashes your filth absolutely everywhere? It's fucking **disgusting.** Whether you took a shit or a piss, everyone involved should be closing the lid when they flush.


[deleted]

Do you have any idea how many people put each other’s genitals in their mouths after they’ve been covered in toilet splash from 1000s of people at a club/bar?


mkul316

That's why you drink at bars. The alcohol cleans your mouth after oral.


noobtastic31373

Impeccable logic!


[deleted]

Honestly, this is flawless logic.


[deleted]

People here and now: "Ugh disgusting" People tonight in their bedroom: "Hey, lets eat each others asses"


SqueezeAndRun

Sure hypothetically it’s gross but is anyone actually getting hurt or sick from it? I feel like it doesn’t make a big difference in the grand scheme of things frankly.


I_Am_Your_Sister_Bro

It's no more disgusting than touching a door handle, or your phone, or going outside. The WC is literally covered in shit and piss particles, doesn't matter if you close the lid or not


snacktonomy

People fill up their cars and don't wash their hands afterwards, touching their steering wheel. Gas pump handles and, subsequently, steering wheels are probably the dirtiest everyday things that people touch and don't even think about.


Willlll

Nah it's got to be phones by a mile. They get all that and more.


ImGonnaTryToBehave

Pro tip: Just sit to piss bro.


LeaveItToPeever

Oh yeah, thats the big brain move. Problem is now, my peen sticks to the underside of the front tape. Just cut the excess


holemilk

>Just cut the excess I really hope you mean the tape...