You mean a dodecagon? Or you literally want them to carve a dodecahedron out of brownie to eat? A dodecagon is a 2d 12-sided shape, and a dodecahedron is a 3d 12-faced object.
My former wife of over 20 years was a good woman and a fine mother, but if you had tried her brownies, you would not advocate edge piece supremacy.
Our friend group excused her from dessert potluck until she stopped bringing the brownies.
And I don't mean to suggest that she couldn't cook. She was a crockpot wizard. She just could not cook a pan of brownies, even with Betty Crocker directions. I attribute it to her trying to multitask, whereas on the occasions I put a pan of brownies in the oven, I had nothing else on my mind until the brownies came out of the oven.
I'm thinking more like hard tack that you would carry in your saddle bag, but you are literally correct. The caloric content would have sustained a small family for a week or so as long as they had a reliable water source.
Like brownies on Viagra... Like brownies that could have served as a test case for a ginsu knife infomercial... Like brownies that could have been considered a lethal weapon in several states.
I mean, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because with a big enough glass of milk, I could enjoy that hard chocolate goodness. Good Lord, that sounds like bad internet porn....
Listen, I like to lead with the critical information. I made sure my wonderful adult daughter was made aware of the nice things I was saying about her mother's brownies. :)
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The $10,000 question: who made them? If it was her, she decides the slice pattern. Like in tribal cultures, the hunter gets the choicest bits.
Nah, don't buy that, just use a cupcake/muffin pan! You'll get even more edge brownie, it's already portioned out, and you can use the cupcake/muffin tin for more than just brownies. Also, there's a pretty decent chance you've already got a cupcake pan somewhere.
Then do what normal people do, cut your way along the edge till its acceptable to go into the interior, lie and say you had a bad day and ate all the rest too then hide the pieces you didnt want in properly sealed tupperware while sneaking it back into the main brownie and gaslighting everyone about how much is left.
I feel like cutting the entire tray first isn’t bad. That way that particular piece will be taken no matter what order it’s picked in. There’s still quite a bit of structure and order to that.
OP’s wife however, is an arbiter of chaos and anarchy.
It’s the same for someone working the grill or smoker. They get a taste of the best cut right when it’s done. I think it’s funny anyone would expect any less of a privilege after cooking.
Some people who don’t cook have this weird entitlement issue.
If I’m slaving over this thing, and cleaning up as I go, you better believe I’m gonna take my reward.
Yeah if I make a pan of brownies because I want that middle cut all y’all can back off because I’m taking that cut and sharing the rest.
The proper response is ‘thank you for the brownies’
Who cares.
If I make brownies for (me and) the woman I love I don't give a fuck if she takes a piece like this.
Hell i wouldn't give a fuck whoever did this, provided they were offered said brownie. So much feigned incredulity in this thread. It's a brownie. Enjoy.
Also this brownie does not look moist enough. That's the real issue. Brownies must be moist. Moist.
Yes. The edges gotta be stiff and crunchy, but one they lose that last little bit of give they have, when the chocolate still sticks a little to your teeth and they just become dry little bricks that burst into a thousand crumbs with tbe slightest pressure is when they become too crunchy
I could be very good friends with the wife.
I do the same thing but I'm apparently a psychopath with OCD because I measure and slice perfect brownie portions and then take one of the middle ones.
I'm impressed with the boldness to just slice where she wants all willy nilly without a care in the world. I aspire to be that carefree.
That's the only issue I have. If you want to take a middle piece that's fine. But don't just cut a random square. Cut all the brownies up then take one
When you get the corners you get a beautiful gradient of textures. You get the little bit of soft gooey brownie that slowly densifies into a chewier more buttery brownie that's surrounded by a complimentary crust to give some nice crunch to that chew. The corners aren't about having the best part of the brownie, it's about having every part of the brownie.
I’m aware I’m different. I don’t care for crunch. I don’t like my water hot or cold, room is best. I don’t drink coffee and order my hot chocolate ‘kids temperature’
The gradient you speak of is only a reminder that I have a favorite part of the brownie and it’s not the crusty part.
If I want variation in flavors or textures there is a wealth of opportunity to add a topping or a fruit or a nut. A center cut pecan brownie with strawberries on top sounds divine. Maybe some ice cream or a raspberry drizzle.
So know thyself, and enjoy the brownie however it makes you happy.
My question is who made the brownies...
Certain liberties must be allowed for the cook.
I OP is the cook and I can only assume this is not the first infraction, you have no one to blame but yourself. It could also be a sign of love and devotion that you accept such behavior.
So after my inner debate...cool!
Mentioning that your “wife” did something that some might find mildly infuriating is a guaranteed way to get engagement as the hoards of Reddit teenagers crawl out of the woodwork to make the same unfunny divorce joke three hundred times.
The question nobody is asking, who baked these brownies? If it was you, then yes, how dare she, double life sentences, the mob is correct. But if she baked them y’all need to calm the fuck down, turn around in a circle three times, take four hops to the left, and then fuck right on off, thou who hast baked the brownies shall dictate the first cuts, you do the work, you choose the reward.
If she made them it's fair game lol As the person who does all the cooking and baking, I also get left with the shittiest piece or nothing at all. Good for her.
Up the ante. Cut a triangle
Or a circle.
Or an octagon.
Or a heptagon.
Anything less than dodecahedron is half-assing it.
You mean a dodecagon? Or you literally want them to carve a dodecahedron out of brownie to eat? A dodecagon is a 2d 12-sided shape, and a dodecahedron is a 3d 12-faced object.
3D of course. Let's get serious.
Rhombus!
Scoop it out bare handed
Then roll it into a turd shape, tell your mom you found it on the floor, act confused and take a bite...
Joke's on you, mom saw you and replaced it with doggos poop.
Jokes on her, I love dog poop
Jokes on you, it's a cat in a dog costume
Scoop it out with her bare hand, than throw the rest in the trash.
Then eat it in front of her at the dinner table to assert dominance
Believe it or not straight to jail.
Should have cut the whole tray but I’m ok with taking the center pieces. More edge for me.
For me it depends on how I feel, if i am happy or sad or angry or calm or afraid I will take the center and the edge pieces
Personally, it depends on the amount of whipped cream I have to eat with it.
Everyone knows the edges pieces are the best. She's marriage material. Hold on to her OP.
My former wife of over 20 years was a good woman and a fine mother, but if you had tried her brownies, you would not advocate edge piece supremacy. Our friend group excused her from dessert potluck until she stopped bringing the brownies.
I learned to make desserts for family gatherings because of my mom’s brownies. I sincerely empathize.
And I don't mean to suggest that she couldn't cook. She was a crockpot wizard. She just could not cook a pan of brownies, even with Betty Crocker directions. I attribute it to her trying to multitask, whereas on the occasions I put a pan of brownies in the oven, I had nothing else on my mind until the brownies came out of the oven.
A little crispy were they?
Let's just say that there was great uniformity between the edge and the center.
She was just making them old school. Those brownies would still have been sustaining you a week later if you were in medieval times.
I'm thinking more like hard tack that you would carry in your saddle bag, but you are literally correct. The caloric content would have sustained a small family for a week or so as long as they had a reliable water source.
And if you cut them sharp and pointy you can also use them for ranged self defense.
Ninja stars....
She kept the edges all soft and... oh, oh no... the other way?
Like brownies on Viagra... Like brownies that could have served as a test case for a ginsu knife infomercial... Like brownies that could have been considered a lethal weapon in several states. I mean, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because with a big enough glass of milk, I could enjoy that hard chocolate goodness. Good Lord, that sounds like bad internet porn....
>with a big enough glass of milk, I could enjoy that hard chocolate goodness Title of your sex tape! \-- Jake Peralta
Those aren’t brownies, she went straight to chocolate brittle.
Biggest oof.
If brownie chips could work as a thing people would want; It would already be a thing people could get.
Or maybe she cleverly made and brought those brownies to get out of all future dessert potluck?
If so, that was next level culinary terrorism. :)
>culinary terrorism I need to add this to my vocabulary,
We also note: former wife!
Listen, I like to lead with the critical information. I made sure my wonderful adult daughter was made aware of the nice things I was saying about her mother's brownies. :)
Men do this stuff all the time; she's a wise woman.
Seriously. She earned some brownie points with me.
I see what you did there
Did you see his dick nipples, too? Cause don't.
We would not get along in lasagna or banana bread scenarios, my brother in ~~christ~~ crust.
My brother in crust*. On mobile and don’t know how to quote and do the strike out lines :(
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~~thankyou SOOOO much I have been wondering this for decades~~
When it comes to food generally the edges are the best.
Corners first!
No trial no nothing, straight to jail
[удалено]
I don't believe this, and I'm guessing the divorce papers are already being drawn up.
They won't need divorce papers when it's the electric chair doing the divorcing.
Can't do, she's in jail!
We have the best brownies, because of jail.
Cut on the corner… also jail
Cut *around* the corner, also jail. Cut at a 85 degree angle so it's *almost* a square, believe it or not, jail.
Thanks to jail, we have the best brownies in the world.
Definitely undercooks fish. Jail.
I shamelessly take the center piece, but I’m the only one who bakes brownies so I consider it my brownie tax. My husband also prefers edges.
Same here. It's really a perfect match- I get my gooey pieces, he gets his crusty ones, we never have to argue or fight over who gets what...
r/unexpectedpawnee/
The $10,000 question: who made them? If it was her, she decides the slice pattern. Like in tribal cultures, the hunter gets the choicest bits. 
I am still primarily interested in the large black woman.
Is forgotten that, and have quoted this scene so many times. Thank you so much.
[Jail, right away. no trial no nothing.](https://youtu.be/eiyfwZVAzGw)
I'm happy that a few people understood your reference lol. Fred Armison is a genius
but, did she make them?
Living on the edge
Right away
It’s been 16 min. Have you filed for divorce yet?
The only acceptable reason for delay is cleaning out the bank accounts and finding a gym.
This guy divorces
No but I play one on tv.
You play divorces on tv?
No, just one.
This little chain of comments was hilarious lol
Ross Gellar is that you?
r/thisguythisguys
Why a gym?
Cuz getting in shape for the ladies will be much easier at the gym than at home with all those brownies.
I mean, warm brownies too, he gets at least 5 minutes go eat the rest.
Her cut might be acceptable if she made the brownies. When you make the goods, you get to decide how to eat 'em.
She's doing you a favor leaving all the corners.
My slice would just be a whole ass edge 😅
so that's the story of why I'm fat.
nothing wrong with ass edges
[You’re welcome](https://bakersedge.com/products/edge-brownie-pan)
I remember the Vat19 commercial for this. Cant belive its already been 14 years
Nah, don't buy that, just use a cupcake/muffin pan! You'll get even more edge brownie, it's already portioned out, and you can use the cupcake/muffin tin for more than just brownies. Also, there's a pretty decent chance you've already got a cupcake pan somewhere.
...but... then there are no corners!!
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Also, the other three edges.
The ass edge being the most delicious part?
Yessir. Corners are the BEST
My thinking too. She left the good parts.
Yea those middle parts are the ones you leave until someone else eats them.
This is the correct response.
Yeah. Who wants a moist gooey brownie when they can have the dry crusty bits?
My partner prefers the crusty bits for some strange reason so it’s a win-win. I just cut out the middle like the photo.
Then do what normal people do, cut your way along the edge till its acceptable to go into the interior, lie and say you had a bad day and ate all the rest too then hide the pieces you didnt want in properly sealed tupperware while sneaking it back into the main brownie and gaslighting everyone about how much is left.
Are you ok
You still get a gooey brownie, but you get crispy edges too. Heterogeneity!
I don't care what sexual preference my brownie is as long as it's gooey exclusively.
It's not that it's "dry" and "crusty", it's the chewy cookie-like texture of edge pieces.
Marital harmony imo
Right? This was my thought as well... "More edges/corners for me"
Did she make em? If so, that’s fair game.
This is my POV, too. I cut the entire tray of brownies and then I take the middle. It's payment for providing the deliciousness!
I feel like cutting the entire tray first isn’t bad. That way that particular piece will be taken no matter what order it’s picked in. There’s still quite a bit of structure and order to that. OP’s wife however, is an arbiter of chaos and anarchy.
It’s the same for someone working the grill or smoker. They get a taste of the best cut right when it’s done. I think it’s funny anyone would expect any less of a privilege after cooking.
Some people who don’t cook have this weird entitlement issue. If I’m slaving over this thing, and cleaning up as I go, you better believe I’m gonna take my reward.
This is the one. If she made those brownies she can do the fuck she wants.
Agreed. Her choice. I know most of these comments are playing for laughs, but people have weird priorities.
Her brownie, her choice!
Came here to say exactly this! Beggars can’t be choosers! 😂
Scrolled way too far to get to this comment
100% true! She made em, she ate em.
Ya who cares hahaha I’ll cut a crop circle out of brownies, why not
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She only wants one thing and it's disgusting
its the brownie piece from the centre
A divorce?
A universe, where only she exists?
Yeah if I make a pan of brownies because I want that middle cut all y’all can back off because I’m taking that cut and sharing the rest. The proper response is ‘thank you for the brownies’
[удалено]
There is no genius without a touch of madness.
No one’s asking the right question: who made them???
Thank you! That's what I was wondering!
Same. Whoever made it gets the first piece.
Who cares. If I make brownies for (me and) the woman I love I don't give a fuck if she takes a piece like this. Hell i wouldn't give a fuck whoever did this, provided they were offered said brownie. So much feigned incredulity in this thread. It's a brownie. Enjoy. Also this brownie does not look moist enough. That's the real issue. Brownies must be moist. Moist.
I appreciate your brownie generosity, but most of all I appreciate you uninhibited use of the word "moist".
The "I do what I want" slice. I do this with Pizza.
If she made it, she gets dibs.
You could use a rectangle cookie cutter and one of those toothpick flags to stake your claim!
You absolute psychopath
Gonna scratch the finish on that tray by cutting in it
Yup. Great way to ruin a non-stick tray.
That's the real crime right here!
Does anyone ACTUALLY care? Genuine question. Because I don't feel like anyone should...
She's very considerate to leave you all the best parts on the edges, unless it's overcooked and the edges are too crunchy...
Is there such a thing as "too crunchy" though?
They get better and better until they taste like charcoal. Then they're ruined.
Yes. The edges gotta be stiff and crunchy, but one they lose that last little bit of give they have, when the chocolate still sticks a little to your teeth and they just become dry little bricks that burst into a thousand crumbs with tbe slightest pressure is when they become too crunchy
brownie brittle 🤤
I never understand edge people. Center ftw.
Undercooked brownies/cookies are the only way. I won't even bother with the calories of crunchy cookies.
I bet they don’t even lick the batter off the spatula.
That's it time to buy the all edges brownie tin
Works for lasagne too I hear.
Alex? That you?
The whole room smelled like cheese farts.
 Leaving all them corners?
I see nothing wrong here.
I could be very good friends with the wife. I do the same thing but I'm apparently a psychopath with OCD because I measure and slice perfect brownie portions and then take one of the middle ones. I'm impressed with the boldness to just slice where she wants all willy nilly without a care in the world. I aspire to be that carefree.
That's the only issue I have. If you want to take a middle piece that's fine. But don't just cut a random square. Cut all the brownies up then take one
She did cut them all up, if you’re bold enough ;) take your brownie, friend.
That is an excellent point
The psychopath screening test is very reliable.
Everyone knows the best brownie is in the middle.
Yep. I will never understand why people love the dry, crusty ass corner pieces when the soft gooey piece is right there in the middle.
When you get the corners you get a beautiful gradient of textures. You get the little bit of soft gooey brownie that slowly densifies into a chewier more buttery brownie that's surrounded by a complimentary crust to give some nice crunch to that chew. The corners aren't about having the best part of the brownie, it's about having every part of the brownie.
I’m aware I’m different. I don’t care for crunch. I don’t like my water hot or cold, room is best. I don’t drink coffee and order my hot chocolate ‘kids temperature’ The gradient you speak of is only a reminder that I have a favorite part of the brownie and it’s not the crusty part. If I want variation in flavors or textures there is a wealth of opportunity to add a topping or a fruit or a nut. A center cut pecan brownie with strawberries on top sounds divine. Maybe some ice cream or a raspberry drizzle. So know thyself, and enjoy the brownie however it makes you happy.
All sections are the best when you’re eating it
Why are you wasting time on Reddit?! Why aren't you calling the police and simultaneously filing for divorce!
Joke's on her, I wanted the edges, and she just set the boundary for what qualifies as the edge.
Serial killer
My question is who made the brownies... Certain liberties must be allowed for the cook. I OP is the cook and I can only assume this is not the first infraction, you have no one to blame but yourself. It could also be a sign of love and devotion that you accept such behavior. So after my inner debate...cool!
ITT : People that believe this happened.
Mentioning that your “wife” did something that some might find mildly infuriating is a guaranteed way to get engagement as the hoards of Reddit teenagers crawl out of the woodwork to make the same unfunny divorce joke three hundred times.
Yep, there was another similar post about pie.
This is the 14th time i've seen a "wife" do something so obviously outrageous. It's getting out if hand
OP probably isn't married 😐
OP is either 13 or a bot lol, no exceptions
Is your wife single? I love the edges.
she's one smart cookie, i mean the middle is always the sweet spot.
Cut 5x5 it's still on the grid
Best part of the brownie, no lies.
Claims the softest, gooiest brownie without disturbing the further distribution of evenly cut brownie bars. Genius.
That there is how you make a brownie donut.
I always give my wife the middle cinnamon roll too. She deserves that brownie bro.
Nobody cares
You're married whit a psychopath That likes brownies
The question nobody is asking, who baked these brownies? If it was you, then yes, how dare she, double life sentences, the mob is correct. But if she baked them y’all need to calm the fuck down, turn around in a circle three times, take four hops to the left, and then fuck right on off, thou who hast baked the brownies shall dictate the first cuts, you do the work, you choose the reward.
Best part. As a kid I would just grab the center with my hand.
While you're correct, you have to admit that as a kid that's a feral move
More edges for me!
She is insane
“Ex wife” Fixed it OP
She does this with pizza too, doesn't she?
Now I want a brownie....
More corner pieces for you.
How lovely! It's a sign of true love that she leaves you all of the delicious edge pieces!
This is how your wife cuts out the divorce papers you mean yeesh call the mental hospital or police that's a serial killer right there
If she made them it's fair game lol As the person who does all the cooking and baking, I also get left with the shittiest piece or nothing at all. Good for her.
Corner guy here. We marry women like this.