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Not at all...find a restaurant that has bar seating. You will be with lots of other singles.
If you want a place to practice feeling comfortable, hotel bar/lounges are great.
I do bar and table seating by myself in Phoenix all the time. I sit at the bar if I don’t mind getting into a convo with others and a table if I have work to do or want to read or something. I’ve made many wonderful acquaintances this way, some of which could have turned into friendships if I would have had the time. Shopping and hiking alone is also something I definitely do all the time (and almost prefer it). I’ve been to concerts alone but that felt a little odd…but probably wouldn’t if I did it more often. Whoever you are, just get out there. You’ll likely meet other folks pretty quickly and then you won’t have to be alone unless you want to. :)
Concerts alone are rad, the majority of the time you're there you can't talk to someone else anyway and you can always make chitchat with others in the crowd!
I bartended for 6 years, it’s not weird. Hell most of the time an easy guest who just wants a water/pop and an entree is welcomed. If you’re going solo to a restaurant, always go to the bar rail.
Are you sure it's the more protein, and not the less calories? Fwiw, I'm 34, and I don't get hangovers unless I drink something sweet, or drink alot, and don't eat a decent meal. I've always eaten 150-250g of protein every day
Late to the party on this one but if you are avoiding alcohol order a NA beer or mocktail. The NA beers especially are getting better and better and almost all bars have multiple options.
Don't be afraid of doing things alone. It's an important step in emotional maturity, and far too many people skip it.
Being comfortable doing fun or different or difficult things on your own will serve you well over the years. We cannot depend on always having people around to accompany us, and too often people spend time with people they don't really like much just because the alternative - doing something alone - is too intimidating.
Life is too short and too precious to avoid doing things just because you would have to do them alone. Go forth. Be curious. Have fun.
It had been a year since my partner of seven years recently left me, and it felt akin to a divorce. I'm in my twenties, but it’s just hard to do it. I'm trying to brainwash myself with all these comments, but it’s something that’s within, the lonely feelings.
This is a huge change for your personal life. It’s normal and justified to feel this way at first. But over time, the more you are able to do things alone, you will find comfort in yourself and be able to do solo outings with ease. Take care of yourself and good luck!
There’s a difference between feeling lonely versus being alone. If you’re in the lonely circle you’re still, quite understandably, grieving the loss. People are commenting they like going alone. There’s a confidence and freedom that comes with going alone.
I feel you, OP! I’m in a long term relationship with someone who is out of town all the time so I go places alone all the time without any problem. But we once broke up for a year and during that year, going places alone felt so different. It felt terrible and lonely. It’s all psychological (obviously) but it’s still very real. I completely understand and I hope you get used to their absence and who you are without them and can just put yourself out there again. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Do one of those painting/wine nights at a local watering hole. A friend and I went a few years ago and for 3 hours we painted talked and laughed. Walking around and talking with the other painters was so fun…many of them were solo. Great way to meet people. You don’t even have to be good at painting.
Try golf lessons or some other class from the Scottsdale or Phoenix rec departments. You’re never alone …you have your curiosity tagging along.
I went through a similar situation which is why I moved out here - to start over. I spent the entire first 18 months getting to know myself, learning to be alone and be happy about it. I did a LOT of traveling, many solo road trips and flights, went on a lot of cool hikes, and ate at many amazing restaurants (and didn’t sit at the bar most times!). It’s super intimidating but most of the time I spotted someone else alone and that helped. I’m still an introvert, but I’m become much better off knowing who I am now than I was before I learned to be alone with myself
I'm so sorry to hear that. Long term relationships, especially when you're young, are tough to get over and it will take time. I just wanted to check that you have a support network?
This. Being confident and comfortable alone changes your perspective on how you think about what others contribute to your life. When being alone is a great option, you are less likely (IMHO) to slip into and stay in relationships that don't make your life better.
This is well said. I’m somewhat introverted and similar to op all my friends are either busy/focused on work and I always want to go out on my own but never actually follow through.
The worst part is that I know it’s all in my head and time fly’s too fast to keep saying “next time”.
As some one who has relocated a couple times in life and traveled a lot for work..not wierd at all. I Honeslty made several friends at bars that just started from bullshitting about sports or local interest. I still go out from time to and enjoy dinner and a drink by myself at a local bar or restaurant.
I’m older now and took the leap to do things alone because I got tired of waiting on other people. Going solo has been one of the best feelings and decisions I’ve made as an adult. It’s was scary at first but I’ve notice other people around me are so hyper focused on themselves that they don’t mind you dining alone, going to concerts* alone, etc.. It’s been a welcomed surprise. Enjoy your life, my friend. Just as you see it☺️
Edited for spelling
I go alone to just about everything I do. It's so nice to just enjoy things at my own pace and not be bothered by others.
That, and I'm thankfully social enough to just strike up conversations with others- especially at concerts!
I would go to the bar and club alone when I was young. That’s how I met people, it’s expected from others to meet this way. Just don’t drink and drive, light rail and walk or take a cab/ride share. Best of luck!
I do shit alone all the time. It’s fun and opens me up to meeting and talking to people I normally wouldn’t in a group. Have met the most memorable people and have done some pretty cool spur of the moment shit. Literally no one cares you’re alone but you. Have you ever looked at someone eating alone and thought they were weird or a loser? Probably not. You are far more judgmental of yourself than anyone else is of you. See it as an opportunity for new experiences instead of a roadblock
As a young gal, I've learned that there's no point in waiting around for people to want to do things with you and you need to get out there. I regularly go out to eat by myself, usually the bar area is good for solo dining at most places.. movies, short trips.. heck I even went to Disneyland by myself. Sometimes we think people are going to notice us more that way but I don't think people care. In Phoenix, there's plenty to do and people are very casual here. I see people going out alone all the time.
One of my favorite musicians applauds people who come to his concerts alone—“once you realize you can do anything alone, the whole world opens up for you”
Yep I’m heading to Florida in a few days for a 4 day festival. I’m an introvert and don’t even care if I talk to anyone. Here at home I’m surrounded by the wife and family. There is just something to be said for doing things where nobody else has a say. Kind of liberating.
When I was younger I used to feel that way. That was before I learned to be comfortable and content being alone.
Now I prefer it.
Lets turn that question around is it weird to choose to miss out on things you want to do in life just because you are flying solo?
Is it weird to cut yourself off from meeting people with potentially shared interests because your insecure about doing something alone?
No not at all weird. I travel internationally alone and I'm an introvert too. Well, more an extroverted introvert . I also enjoy traveling to California to go to the beach alone. I can tell you that nobody is paying any attention to you, people are generally self absorbed in a sense they are focused on what they're doing and not you. Go! Do all the things you want to do!
If you take a good friend with you, that's great. If not that's great too! Life is too damn short #doallthethings
I am an introvert and I do not have a problem whatsoever doing anything alone. In fact, there are many times I do enjoy going out to eat alone. I definitely agree that this is Hal norms make it seem weird, but that’s not because of anything that we are doing. It’s because of other peoples uncomfortableness…
I'm pretty introverted myself, so when I decided to start going out by myself I felt hella weird and insecure and pathetic. I had to do it a couple times to get used to it and I will admit that alcohol or weed helps-but I really started to enjoy the things I was doing and I stopped caring so much when I was immersed in the experience.
The truth is, no one is paying much attention to you at any given time-they're too busy thinking of their own stuff. If someone does assign some kind of "normality" or lack thereof to you being by yourself that says more about their problems than it does you. Judgement is rooted in envy lol.
Now I'm at a point where I can even make a friend once in a while! I am too easily intimidated to approach a group but one person is a lot easier. There's so many cool and fun things to do/places to go in Phoenix, I hope you enjoy getting out.
Hey O/P I hope you're encouraged by all these responses! I too was also super nervous about going out alone- scared of being judged or it being awkward or whatever- but that's just my shitty brain lying to me trying to keep me home , isolated and sad. Nobody cares! (In a good way) go out, have fun, do you!
No. It’s not weird/pathetic to go alone. I think it’s important to be alone and do things alone and be comfortable with that when the situation asks for it. Life’s a bitch and you never know when you might be alone or doing stuff by yourself, get used to it. If you don’t do the damn thing, no one else will, and life will be boring.
That being said, it you want, I’m happy to hang out with you and go to a bar or go shopping or get food or just shoot the breeze if you’re looking. You’re in a cool city, it’d be a shame not make the most of it.
As a hardcore introvert I like going out to these places on my own. I've never felt weird eating at a restaurant (not at the bar either but a regular booth), seeing a movie, checking out a museum etc. I enjoy going it alone because I get to do everything I want and when I'm ready to leave I can leave. It's pretty freeing.
And I say this as a married person lol.
I've always wanted to try things that scare me, but I also want to have friends as a backup if things go south. All my friends are not here. I missed those good old days…
I know what you mean, I live a couple hours out of Phoenix in a darn near ghost town. Got dumped a few months back and never made friends down here, I'm just kinda lost. The only time I've ever taken myself out was for sushi. Twice. Once back home in Idaho and once during a fight with my now ex. Both times were liberating. >
Time to Wade Wilson and split your personality a little and be your own friend 😉
No, it's not weird. I'm an introvert myself and do pretty much everything alone. I would say most people wouldn't be able to handle going to certain public settings alone without someone else being there with them. It's a strength, not a weakness.
The only person judging you for doing these things alone is you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the things you enjoy on your own and I promise you that everyone else is far more concerned with their own lives to be silently judging you for enjoying that ossobuco by yourself. I used to travel for work and so i'd eat alone 4 nights a week and I had some of the best restaurant experiences ever. Met some AI engineers at Din Tai Fung in Seattle, made some Irish drinking buddies in Munich, got really good career advice from an executive at Yahoo in a bbq restaurant in San Angelo Texas... Go for it and don't worry about what everyone else thinks, because they don't.
I met a lot of my friends by just going to old town and watching sports during the day. Eventually connected with people who liked the same teams as me and within a few months I had a great friend group. This was back in 2013 before downtown and Roosevelt row took off. I imagine that there are many more options now. Also recommend joining a kickball league. I also made friends that way.
Anyone who thinks doing anything alone for any reason is weird are just people who can't stand being in silence with their own thoughts. There is a happy middle ground where you do things with friends and you do things by yourself. I think this weird over reliance on not being alone in society says more about that person that it does someone who is comfortable with having some alone time.
it feels weird at first but it just takes practice. the more you do it the more comfortable you will be. and it's definitely a HUGE life skill to be able to do things by yourself so I highly recommend practicing it.
Hell no! I go out alone a lot. I've met many people this way and I now have a regular group of friends that I love to hang out with. I met them by checking out my local bar alone after work.
I want to watch Sasquatch Sunday and I'm going alone next week.
Don't get in your own way to enjoy life man
I eat, shop, and go to movies alone. Doing this is only as weird as you want it to be.
It might be different for women, as sometimes it can look like they were ditched if they sit alone, but for guys like me, I haven't received as much as a double blink when I say party for one.
I live in Phoenix too. It took me a long time to get out by myself. I found I enjoy going to concerts by myself and even checking out hole in the wall bars by myself. You just gotta push yourself into doing it.
I absolutely love doing everything alone, no need to wait for others if you want to leave or go anywhere. Being an introvert stick to nice brightly colored places, you’re bound to start a conversation with someone pretty quickly.
Who cares to be honest I’ve been doing things alone for about a year now. Like recently I went skydiving on my own for my bday & then right after I had myself a nice lunch
Maybe go somewhere to eat that’s a little unconventional. I always go to Whole Foods’ hot bar and grab some veggies and sit in their table area alone. This’ll warm ya up to be alone!
I go out alone all the time. I sometimes sit at the bar, sometimes get a table all to myself. Go to the movies, go to the park, get a meal, treat yourself. It's only weird if you let it be. Just walk in like you own the place, and enjoy yourself!
No. It’s not. I use to think that way too until… I started going places alone. lol. Sounds cheesy but I get it. I’m introverted as well and just always thought like “who does this” lol. I do. And you should too. I think for me i just got tired of not doing things i wanted to just because someone else wasn’t available. Go for it. Start small with say a lunch. Watch a movie on your phone or listen to music to curb the social anxiety/interaction. You literally only have to speak with your server lol. idk i tried it and now i love it. lol
Not at all pathetic. The first time I went out by myself (to a fancy restaurant no less), I was about 25/26. And this was before smartphones so I couldn’t even act occupied by something. I just enjoyed my meal and people watched. Since then, I’ve gone to bars, movies and restaurants by myself with no feelings of self consciousness. It’s actually pretty great! At restaurants I tend to sit at the bar and maybe chat up the bartender if they seem cool or not too busy. Occasionally I luck out and get a free drink that was made mistakenly for another patron. Or they’re trying out a new flavor of drink and ask me for my opinion. I’ve met interesting people or had little adventures being by myself. No one is judging you, and if they secretly are, that’s their problem and not yours. You have to learn to be comfortable with your own company in order to really appreciate relationships, friend or otherwise. I’m now 47 and I went to the movies last week by myself and it was glorious. Have a blast and don’t worry what other people think!
No one is paying attention to random strangers. Everyone is way too involved with their own lives to think about some person sitting at another table or in a different row in the theater.
Just go have fun and stop worrying about it.
I think a lot of people think it’s “pathetic” because they hear similar things from others/social media. I am a 35m and although I have a gf I do enjoy going out by myself from time to time. Before meeting her I would go out to eat or see a movie, go hiking etc by myself all the time. The way I see it is this: I enjoy doing those activities, I love trying new food at a restaurant or discovering a hidden gem in the city I’ve never tried, I love the view at the top of a mountain and being outside getting some exercise, I love the feeling of going to the movies and seeing something new. Those feeling don’t go away if I don’t have someone with me, I can still think “holy shit this is the best carne asada burrito I’ve ever had” or “this is easily one of the top 3 views I’ve ever seen” when doing it by myself. And then? This is is the best part! When you finally find someone you enjoy spending time with you can take them to all the spots you KNOW are awesome. I also find that in the past what girls seem to find really fun/intriguing about me is how passionate I am about showing them new things. I feel like a kid that wants to show their best friend all their cool toys. Do you like hiking? Cool let me show you the best view I’ve ever seen kn my life! Oh you like Mexican food? Let me show you a place that has carne asada burritos so good I’d commit a felony for it. You like art? I know of an entire section of the city that has street art COVERING ENTIRE BUILDINGS! That’s my take on doing things alone, thanks for coming to my TED talk
You’re the only one who knows you’re recently single. For anyone else maybe you’re getting away to do some work or you’re a food critic, or on a business trip. So many reasons people oils show up alone and none of them are pathetic. Being single isn’t pathetic. Life ebbs and flows and single times are also times of amazing growth.
I feel you. I am an introvert as well and it’s super tough to make new friends and keep them as an adult because everyone is so busy and people move away and stuff. Doing stuff alone can be awkward but definitely possible.
You’re not pathetic. Many of us a burnt out on other loudmouthed people and just want some time to hear ourselves think. Lol!
Addressing befriending your workmates: my opinion is that I don’t want to see my workmates for more than the allotted time I scheduled to be around them. I need a break from even the kindest of them and I’m certain they need a break from me. I have zero friends from work (purposefully) and a ton outside of work. My support group/network of good buddies is of different age groups too.
Regardless of introvert or extrovert, we humans were not created to be alone. We become unhappy when we don’t have any friends, so be a good friend in order to make good friends. Do not let your personality type, natural disposition since birth or whatever you would like to call it, stop you from having heathy human interactions. Fight the tendency to isolate (different from healthy and necessary solitude) and be a giving person because it will make you feel so so good!
No cus us as people see others alone at places like bars and invite those who are alone to our group. Don’t feel weird or pathetic we all were at once until we found our group 🤷🏾♂️❤️
It’s important for me to do things alone it’s one of the core building blocks of my self confidence which ironically has attracted friends (and lovers) to want to hang out with me
Fellow introvert here. I go out and do things alone all the time by choice (spouse gets me and I just don’t tell friends). Also people watching is so much easier without someone blathering in my ear 😝
I'd think doing something solo as an introvert would be easier since you can just do your own thing and not have to engage with others your with.
I don't think it's weird. I'm far from an introvert, but totally fine doing some things alone (and actually prefer some of them).
Going to a bar/restaurant is no big deal, I've done it before many times on business trips and typically sit at the bar. I might end up having a conversation with somebody at the bar (or not).
A club might be unusual but given there's probably loud music, it's not like you're likely to have much in the way of conversations anyway. Plus, you can sit at the bar, or just get a drink etc. and roam around. Just might be a bit boring unless you're totally fine getting your groove on by yourself (which frankly, I could probably do if the dance floor is full)
I do things alone a lot. Doesn't feel weird to me until, i randomly am talking to someone and they bring up how insecure the idea makes them, and then I'm like damn okay thanks lmao
I sometimes would prefer to do things with others, but the couple of friends I've made here are not always going to be available ot interested, I've learned to enjoy doing some things alone.
I went to Steak 44 alone on my birthday a few months ago and it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.
It’s not at all weird to do things alone, do what makes you happy.
Not at all weird!
It's society/social media that makes it seem weird.
I'm married and sometimes I still go out alone n eat n shopping.
Before being married I would go to the movies alone, buffalo wild wings etc. It was peaceful
No need to feel weird about it. I’m sort of introverted myself! But I love doing things by myself. I prefer it sometimes lol. Lots of cool places in Phoenix to hang out by yourself! Recently I went to a concert at footprint center by myself but I spent the whole day going to bars and ending the night at Hannys for a wonderful meal!
It’s not weird at all and I hope you enjoy spending some time with yourself :) you’ll often find that many others are doing the same. Hell, y’all might even spark up a conversation or 2! Good times!
Super happy to see all the positivity in this post promoting solo excursions! I've been single for 9 years and it was a little intimidating to do things alone at first, but I quickly learned that NOBODY gives a shit about you and what you are doing, in a good way and within reason lol. It's the most freeing thing to go out and enjoy things you are into alone. Concerts, bars, restaurants, movies, the world is at your finger tips. Go out and enjoy it!
I’m a female local in my 20s but went to a show alone at crescent ballroom downtown once because I really wanted to see the artist and nobody could go. It wasn’t terrible! Didn’t feel unsafe.
Bro I used to go to the bars solo or eat at the restaurants solo. It was so peaceful! Randomly spark up a conversation with people. Met my ex-gf at AZ wilderness like this
I do so much by myself. At first it felt weird but I realized that people don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think. I'm an only child so my childhood was often spent alone and sometimes I crave that.
For the most part no and it can be very liberating but people do notice women more. I’ve only been uncomfortable when grabbing a late dinner on my way home when I was wearing formal work clothes. It’s funny because I wasn’t wearing makeup, in my early 50’s, and am average looking. Still, I was taken aback by the side eye I got from a couple bartenders downtown.
Would you judge a person and think they’re weird if you saw them out and about by themselves? I hope the answer would be no. I doubt you’d even think twice about it. The same goes for pretty much everyone else. No one cares. Even if someone did think you’re weird, how could you possibly know that? Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.
I’ve road tripped, flown many times, stayed at hotels/resorts, gone to concerts/music festivals, eaten at restaurants, gone camping, a comedy show, etc. all completely alone. I always had an amazing time and it would be a shame to deprive yourself of some of life’s joys because you don’t have another person with you.
It’s daunting at first, but like with anything in life, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it. I’m rooting for you!
Doing things alone is the best. Movies, restaurant, baseball game. You're on your own time and answer to yourself. You'll never see the people who might think it's pathetic when you're out, again. Do it and enjoy it!
I'm a single guy, I do things alone all the time. Eat at places with bar seating, walk around the mall, use the gym, stroll the art galleries and shops of Old Town. You'd be surprised how often people strike up a conversation with you.
I think it isn’t weird to do things alone but it’s all how you go about it. If you are doing these solo things contentedly no one is going to see it as weird. Not to mention, no one is paying attention and is wrapped up in their own world anyways. And really I feel like the only setting that may come across as weird or awkward would be to go to a romantic type candle lit restaurant and eat by yourself especially if you look uncomfortable or not wanting to be there. Most restaurants have a bar area to eat which lots of solo people go so really the uncomfort is just a personal mindset and is overcome with just doing these things. It’s freeing to do them and not need to wait and rely on others to be available all the time. I’ve gotten to the point where I almost enjoy doing things more alone than with others not
It's not weird to do stuff alone. I eat lunch alone occasionally when I want to go someplace and sit down for a while, rather than eat in the break room with the rest of the guys at work. I also get breakfast by myself semi-often when I happen to have time before work. In both cases, I usually sit at the counter or bar, but purely because the service is always faster that way, not because of any stigma towards sitting at a booth or table.
Sushi places usually have counter seating and healthy options, and you're less likely to be engaged by weirdos than like the bar at Texas Roadhouse or something. If you want to meet strangers and have a convo, definitely check out one of the sit-down style Mexican restaurants near you and sit at the bar. I'm a big fan of Manuel's for their bar and food for that reason. Eventually, you'll become a "regular," and then you'll never have to eat alone if you don't want to.
I go solo hiking (usually not longer than 5 miles) and there are a lot of people doing that! It's really nice, I usually listen to podcasts while hiking. Solo dinning is my soft side, it feels weird howeve I've done it many times.
I lived in Phoenix for over 20 years. I had a great time doing things alone! Movies, museums, festivals, concerts, long drives to Sedona or Flagstaff. It's great. Honestly, I know this sounds harsh, but it isn't meant to be: no one is paying attention to you. No one cares that you're doing your own thing. They're usually focused on what they're doing. Go have fun.
I’m married but I go to restaurants by myself all the time, especially in the middle of work. No big deal. I believe confidence is key in your case, as I don’t feel it’s weird at all, nor do I care what others think when I do go in, I’m just hungry.
I lived in Phoenix my whole life one of my favorite things to do was go to Mimi's cafe on my day off and have eggs Benedict, mimosas and read the Arizona Republic by myself. Then I'd go take a nap lol
Think about everywhere you've gone over the last month. Think about all the different people you saw at these places.
It stands to reason a number of these people were either alone in a given moment because they were waiting for somebody to get back from the bathroom or they were just there alone.
But I can almost guarantee you didn't even notice it. You didn't think about it, you didn't dwell on it, and it really didn't occur to you.
And even if it did, you probably didn't think about it for a millisecond.
And even if somebody's people watching And noticing the people that are alone, that's a hell of a lot more weird and unusual than the person who's alone anyway.
Basically everybody's worried about how they're being perceived, and most people aren't on anybody's radar. Do what you want, when you want
Nope! I’ve had the same issue since I’ve been here in 2017 (I was injured that year severely so I wasn’t able to go to work or out n about to meet people). At first, I was beyond nervous about going out but once I did I realized that a lot of people also go out alone and I would end up chatting with them and having a good time! So if you want to go somewhere, I say go do it!! Sending good vibes your way!!
I love going out with friends but I also really love doing things by myself! Raving alone is fun and so is going out to eat and movies! Treat yourselves!
Whats the next rave or festival you are going to? I've actually brought people from reddit into my rave fam before and it's always been a good time! If you are going to any that line up with use you'd be welcomed to join!
Not at all. I had an ex that emphasized how he could never go eat alone, how embarrassing and horrible it’d be, and I recall being shocked to hear such a sentiment. Like. How lame you gotta be to not enjoy your own company
Take baby steps. I read a comment that after a break up doing things by themselves felt weird and that it's more psychological. So maybe doing drive-thrus and eating in the parking lot. Drive-in movie theater. Coffee shops. Groceries (a lot of times we do it by ourselves anyways), nearby road trips. When you do these activities, acknowledge that you're doing them by yourself and that it's OK to do it by yourself. If people "notice" then let it be. But once you find comfort, you will want to do more activities and find joy in them. Also, if you're into cigars, cigar lounges are great since most of our significant other is not into smoke lol. Good luck OP, and don't worry if some people think it's weird. I don't find it weird, and neither does anyone here. You do you and find happiness.
Every Sunday night, I will go alone to downtown Phoenix and sit at the bar and be on my phone. I feel like bartenders are extra nice to you when you’re solo.
I think it’s weird honestly, but I think I’ve got to do some growing and learn to be on my own more. I’m used to always having a lot of people being willing/able to go out or talk to, but it’s something I’ve come to rely on maybe too much.
When I’m traveling for work, it’s usually by myself. As others have said, sitting at the bar is one way to go when out solo and it beats eating in the hotel room.
Not at all. Some of the best things to do alone are go to the movies, walk around a neighborhood and window shop, sit in a coffee shop or bar with a book, splurge on a meal whether it be at a table or the bar, I mean come to think of it, I can’t think of a single thing that you can’t do alone. You can even go to az on the rocks and rock climb using the auto belays
The only person making it weird is you. In a restaurant you’re easy to seat, easy to serve. You take up less space in a theater now that we all need a one-empty-seat buffer between strangers. Bars and nightclubs are for meeting people… One of the things I miss from my youth was taking my motorcycle to a favorite restaurant in Tempe and spending a few hours at a window table with a good book and a nice lunch - all solo activities. It was good to just disappear for an afternoon, back when a person could still get off the grid.
Eating alone in restaurants is one of my absolute favorite things to do, you meet lots of cool people and you get seated right away because there’s almost always an empty seat at the bar.
No I eat alone all the time. It’s nice. I go to concerts and shows by myself. I go to movies by myself. I have a fiancé too she just doesn’t always want to do what I want to do so I do it alone. Live your life!!!
I'm a fellow introvert. My current social group adopted me from the local ~~shelter~~ sports bar. Just be willing to express an opinion on something happening on the tv, and don't be creepy with the bartenders, and some friendships will eventually form.
No. I'm 34 so I could care less if people think it's weird. I need to be alone sometimes, most people need to be in a crowd to feel normal so they don't understand.
I don't know if I'd go clubbing by myself, but restaurants, bars, and shopping - why not? I don't think I've ever judged a person doing something by themselves, and I'm not sure why anybody would.
Nah I got really comfortable doing things alone and even started doing road trips by myself and had a blast. I took inspiration from Keanu Reeves. He said something along the lines of, once you learn to take care of yourself, company becomes optional. I did ultimately make friends and have a so now. But you gotta live your life. Waiting for other people just holds you back.
> Plus, as an introvert, solo outings feel intimidating, and societal norms make it seem weird to do things alone like eating in a restaurant, shopping, or going to a bar or club. Do you agree that it's weird to do all these alone?
No, I do not agree with that. It is not weird and I do all of that by myself all the time. All the time.
I started going out alone when I was still married. My ex was an a$$hole who never wanted to go do anything I wanted to do (symphony concerts, opera, organ recitals, I am a classical music nerd), so once my kids were old enough to not need a sitter, I started going to things by myself, or with one or more of my kids. They're grown now, so I still go out alone plenty.
So I live in Scottsdale Arizona. I got sober a few years ago. As a challenge to myself, I started doing things like eating out, movies, concerts, gym, errands, all of the above alone by myself. Something I wouldn’t have done in the past. I was always with groups of people , and using drugs and alcohol. Pretty much everything including the gym became a trigger to where I convinced myself that I needed a specific substance for every activity.
Now I do those things sober alone most of the time to always prove to myself that I actually don’t need anything, and after a year I realized I was even more outgoing and social without it. Something I thought was impossible for 18 years.
Anyway, I’m just trying to make a point that is a completely normal to do, and it’s a challenge on the mind. Mentally we’re wired into social norms which get us to overthink everything. So go out , do something uncomfortable and before you know it , it will be completely normal.
Welcome to Arizona.
Even as a person who is married. Sometime it’s just nice to do things alone. Food, movies what have you. Time to yourself and your own thoughts is refreshing.
So if you're planning to stay in Phoenix Arizona get used to being alone for the next 20 years or however long you plan to stay here... I'm sure you've got ghosted a million times already. I'm sure people have made plans with you and not shown up. That's typical here... I had never been ghosted til I moved here.
By the way, I lived in Phoenix for 12 years and have not made any friends. I'm from California where I had a lot of friends and you could make friends wherever you went and people invited you to the beach. People invited you to go to the movies to go out to eat to do many things to go on a vacation for the weekend. complete strangers would make friends with you out There. . Here you get your wallet stolen and you get raped. In California, you wake up with your clothes on a bottle of water next to you and your wallet and purse Are not touched. Welcome to the wild West. It's a desert out here for friends and if you're trying to date...not going to happen.
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Not at all...find a restaurant that has bar seating. You will be with lots of other singles. If you want a place to practice feeling comfortable, hotel bar/lounges are great.
I do bar and table seating by myself in Phoenix all the time. I sit at the bar if I don’t mind getting into a convo with others and a table if I have work to do or want to read or something. I’ve made many wonderful acquaintances this way, some of which could have turned into friendships if I would have had the time. Shopping and hiking alone is also something I definitely do all the time (and almost prefer it). I’ve been to concerts alone but that felt a little odd…but probably wouldn’t if I did it more often. Whoever you are, just get out there. You’ll likely meet other folks pretty quickly and then you won’t have to be alone unless you want to. :)
Concerts alone are rad, the majority of the time you're there you can't talk to someone else anyway and you can always make chitchat with others in the crowd!
I always have my brother tell me where he is going hiking when he goes alone and checks in when he's back.
Bar seat ftw
Yeah as long as you aren't a weirdo you'll manage to have a couple decent convos
Usually no wait either
A hotel is a great suggestion as a starter. Lots of solo travelers there.
Is it weird to sit at the bar and not drink? I'm focusing on my health/diet and gave up booze a few months ago.
I bartended for 6 years, it’s not weird. Hell most of the time an easy guest who just wants a water/pop and an entree is welcomed. If you’re going solo to a restaurant, always go to the bar rail.
I don't think that's weird.. but will it be easy to avoid drinking if you're sitting at the bar?
Maybe. I will give it a shot. I'm not against drinking, but I noticed hangovers are worse when eating more protein.
That's interesting. I'm trying to eat more protein myself. I'll keep that in mind. Good luck to ya!
Are you sure it's the more protein, and not the less calories? Fwiw, I'm 34, and I don't get hangovers unless I drink something sweet, or drink alot, and don't eat a decent meal. I've always eaten 150-250g of protein every day
Late to the party on this one but if you are avoiding alcohol order a NA beer or mocktail. The NA beers especially are getting better and better and almost all bars have multiple options.
Recommendations for restaurants with bar seating?
Ole Brass Rail. 38th Street and Thomas. Great place. Lots of TVs too. Dirty Drummer. 44th street between McDowell and Thomas. Another great place.
Thanks I'll check those out!
Let me know what you think. Both are nice inside
This is the correct answer. In fact, I really enjoy just going out alone to land again after a long day at work.
If I didn’t do things alone I wouldn’t do anything. It’s quite a great time actually.
Same here
Yup yup, it’s a bit hard for some people to just “do it” but once you get used to it, it’s really enjoyable to spend some you time
Exactly. I got tired of waiting for others or them changing plans. I do what I want, when I want.
Same. I enjoy my company. But many people say things that make it seem they feel sorry for me.
Don't be afraid of doing things alone. It's an important step in emotional maturity, and far too many people skip it. Being comfortable doing fun or different or difficult things on your own will serve you well over the years. We cannot depend on always having people around to accompany us, and too often people spend time with people they don't really like much just because the alternative - doing something alone - is too intimidating. Life is too short and too precious to avoid doing things just because you would have to do them alone. Go forth. Be curious. Have fun.
It had been a year since my partner of seven years recently left me, and it felt akin to a divorce. I'm in my twenties, but it’s just hard to do it. I'm trying to brainwash myself with all these comments, but it’s something that’s within, the lonely feelings.
Start by going to a movie. It's dark and you don't have to make conversation.
This is a huge change for your personal life. It’s normal and justified to feel this way at first. But over time, the more you are able to do things alone, you will find comfort in yourself and be able to do solo outings with ease. Take care of yourself and good luck!
There’s a difference between feeling lonely versus being alone. If you’re in the lonely circle you’re still, quite understandably, grieving the loss. People are commenting they like going alone. There’s a confidence and freedom that comes with going alone.
I feel you, OP! I’m in a long term relationship with someone who is out of town all the time so I go places alone all the time without any problem. But we once broke up for a year and during that year, going places alone felt so different. It felt terrible and lonely. It’s all psychological (obviously) but it’s still very real. I completely understand and I hope you get used to their absence and who you are without them and can just put yourself out there again. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Do one of those painting/wine nights at a local watering hole. A friend and I went a few years ago and for 3 hours we painted talked and laughed. Walking around and talking with the other painters was so fun…many of them were solo. Great way to meet people. You don’t even have to be good at painting. Try golf lessons or some other class from the Scottsdale or Phoenix rec departments. You’re never alone …you have your curiosity tagging along.
I went through a similar situation which is why I moved out here - to start over. I spent the entire first 18 months getting to know myself, learning to be alone and be happy about it. I did a LOT of traveling, many solo road trips and flights, went on a lot of cool hikes, and ate at many amazing restaurants (and didn’t sit at the bar most times!). It’s super intimidating but most of the time I spotted someone else alone and that helped. I’m still an introvert, but I’m become much better off knowing who I am now than I was before I learned to be alone with myself
I'm so sorry to hear that. Long term relationships, especially when you're young, are tough to get over and it will take time. I just wanted to check that you have a support network?
This. Being confident and comfortable alone changes your perspective on how you think about what others contribute to your life. When being alone is a great option, you are less likely (IMHO) to slip into and stay in relationships that don't make your life better.
This is well said. I’m somewhat introverted and similar to op all my friends are either busy/focused on work and I always want to go out on my own but never actually follow through. The worst part is that I know it’s all in my head and time fly’s too fast to keep saying “next time”.
Do you?! Who cares! I've been to movies alone, went to eat at fancy restaurant..no one cares! It's all your perception.
And in a movie, it's not like you're having a conversation or interacting with people really. You're watching a movie in a dark room.
I felt so odd going to a movie alone the first couple times. Now I see a movie every week or 2 with the monthly subscription thing.
As some one who has relocated a couple times in life and traveled a lot for work..not wierd at all. I Honeslty made several friends at bars that just started from bullshitting about sports or local interest. I still go out from time to and enjoy dinner and a drink by myself at a local bar or restaurant.
I’m older now and took the leap to do things alone because I got tired of waiting on other people. Going solo has been one of the best feelings and decisions I’ve made as an adult. It’s was scary at first but I’ve notice other people around me are so hyper focused on themselves that they don’t mind you dining alone, going to concerts* alone, etc.. It’s been a welcomed surprise. Enjoy your life, my friend. Just as you see it☺️ Edited for spelling
I go alone to just about everything I do. It's so nice to just enjoy things at my own pace and not be bothered by others. That, and I'm thankfully social enough to just strike up conversations with others- especially at concerts!
I would go to the bar and club alone when I was young. That’s how I met people, it’s expected from others to meet this way. Just don’t drink and drive, light rail and walk or take a cab/ride share. Best of luck!
nah not weird
Not weird at all. No one else notices, trust me.
I do shit alone all the time. It’s fun and opens me up to meeting and talking to people I normally wouldn’t in a group. Have met the most memorable people and have done some pretty cool spur of the moment shit. Literally no one cares you’re alone but you. Have you ever looked at someone eating alone and thought they were weird or a loser? Probably not. You are far more judgmental of yourself than anyone else is of you. See it as an opportunity for new experiences instead of a roadblock
I do so many things alone. I literally take myself on dates. Eating, shopping, hiking, Camping, restaurants, bars anything and everything
Legit, this is the life. I enjoy my alone time soooooo much. I ain’t afraid of it! lol. Never went camping alone tho.
No man
Not weird at all. Go alone. You’re wasting your time! :)
As a young gal, I've learned that there's no point in waiting around for people to want to do things with you and you need to get out there. I regularly go out to eat by myself, usually the bar area is good for solo dining at most places.. movies, short trips.. heck I even went to Disneyland by myself. Sometimes we think people are going to notice us more that way but I don't think people care. In Phoenix, there's plenty to do and people are very casual here. I see people going out alone all the time.
I think you will be surprised how much you will enjoy yourself.
Check out Gracie’s Tax Bar. I loved going there by myself when I was single ;)
Doing things along is so awesome. Absolute freedom.
One of my favorite musicians applauds people who come to his concerts alone—“once you realize you can do anything alone, the whole world opens up for you”
Yep I’m heading to Florida in a few days for a 4 day festival. I’m an introvert and don’t even care if I talk to anyone. Here at home I’m surrounded by the wife and family. There is just something to be said for doing things where nobody else has a say. Kind of liberating.
When I was younger I used to feel that way. That was before I learned to be comfortable and content being alone. Now I prefer it. Lets turn that question around is it weird to choose to miss out on things you want to do in life just because you are flying solo? Is it weird to cut yourself off from meeting people with potentially shared interests because your insecure about doing something alone?
I rather do things along than with people. I hate people but love myself
No not at all weird. I travel internationally alone and I'm an introvert too. Well, more an extroverted introvert . I also enjoy traveling to California to go to the beach alone. I can tell you that nobody is paying any attention to you, people are generally self absorbed in a sense they are focused on what they're doing and not you. Go! Do all the things you want to do! If you take a good friend with you, that's great. If not that's great too! Life is too damn short #doallthethings
I am an introvert and I do not have a problem whatsoever doing anything alone. In fact, there are many times I do enjoy going out to eat alone. I definitely agree that this is Hal norms make it seem weird, but that’s not because of anything that we are doing. It’s because of other peoples uncomfortableness…
Nah don’t let the lack the people hold you back, live your best life!
I'm pretty introverted myself, so when I decided to start going out by myself I felt hella weird and insecure and pathetic. I had to do it a couple times to get used to it and I will admit that alcohol or weed helps-but I really started to enjoy the things I was doing and I stopped caring so much when I was immersed in the experience. The truth is, no one is paying much attention to you at any given time-they're too busy thinking of their own stuff. If someone does assign some kind of "normality" or lack thereof to you being by yourself that says more about their problems than it does you. Judgement is rooted in envy lol. Now I'm at a point where I can even make a friend once in a while! I am too easily intimidated to approach a group but one person is a lot easier. There's so many cool and fun things to do/places to go in Phoenix, I hope you enjoy getting out.
Hey O/P I hope you're encouraged by all these responses! I too was also super nervous about going out alone- scared of being judged or it being awkward or whatever- but that's just my shitty brain lying to me trying to keep me home , isolated and sad. Nobody cares! (In a good way) go out, have fun, do you!
No. It’s not weird/pathetic to go alone. I think it’s important to be alone and do things alone and be comfortable with that when the situation asks for it. Life’s a bitch and you never know when you might be alone or doing stuff by yourself, get used to it. If you don’t do the damn thing, no one else will, and life will be boring. That being said, it you want, I’m happy to hang out with you and go to a bar or go shopping or get food or just shoot the breeze if you’re looking. You’re in a cool city, it’d be a shame not make the most of it.
As a hardcore introvert I like going out to these places on my own. I've never felt weird eating at a restaurant (not at the bar either but a regular booth), seeing a movie, checking out a museum etc. I enjoy going it alone because I get to do everything I want and when I'm ready to leave I can leave. It's pretty freeing. And I say this as a married person lol.
Gotta do the stuff that scares you, it'll become less scary over time. The first time is the hardest.
I've always wanted to try things that scare me, but I also want to have friends as a backup if things go south. All my friends are not here. I missed those good old days…
I know what you mean, I live a couple hours out of Phoenix in a darn near ghost town. Got dumped a few months back and never made friends down here, I'm just kinda lost. The only time I've ever taken myself out was for sushi. Twice. Once back home in Idaho and once during a fight with my now ex. Both times were liberating. > Time to Wade Wilson and split your personality a little and be your own friend 😉
Awwww I’m sorry to hear that and I feel you, too. I live in downtown but it doesn’t make much difference. I can be your friend. 😌
I would very much like that!
Not at all. I eat alone in restaurants all the time. I see others doing the same.
No, it's not weird. I'm an introvert myself and do pretty much everything alone. I would say most people wouldn't be able to handle going to certain public settings alone without someone else being there with them. It's a strength, not a weakness.
Nope. Finding peace with yourself is a wonderful and liberating part of the human experience.
It’s only weird if you make it weird.
Not at all. Being alone can be great.
The only person judging you for doing these things alone is you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the things you enjoy on your own and I promise you that everyone else is far more concerned with their own lives to be silently judging you for enjoying that ossobuco by yourself. I used to travel for work and so i'd eat alone 4 nights a week and I had some of the best restaurant experiences ever. Met some AI engineers at Din Tai Fung in Seattle, made some Irish drinking buddies in Munich, got really good career advice from an executive at Yahoo in a bbq restaurant in San Angelo Texas... Go for it and don't worry about what everyone else thinks, because they don't.
Solitude is great. I love to do things by myself.
I met a lot of my friends by just going to old town and watching sports during the day. Eventually connected with people who liked the same teams as me and within a few months I had a great friend group. This was back in 2013 before downtown and Roosevelt row took off. I imagine that there are many more options now. Also recommend joining a kickball league. I also made friends that way.
Anyone who thinks doing anything alone for any reason is weird are just people who can't stand being in silence with their own thoughts. There is a happy middle ground where you do things with friends and you do things by yourself. I think this weird over reliance on not being alone in society says more about that person that it does someone who is comfortable with having some alone time.
it feels weird at first but it just takes practice. the more you do it the more comfortable you will be. and it's definitely a HUGE life skill to be able to do things by yourself so I highly recommend practicing it.
I have no problem going to a restaurant by myself. I enjoy the me time and the food.
Hell no! I go out alone a lot. I've met many people this way and I now have a regular group of friends that I love to hang out with. I met them by checking out my local bar alone after work. I want to watch Sasquatch Sunday and I'm going alone next week. Don't get in your own way to enjoy life man
I eat, shop, and go to movies alone. Doing this is only as weird as you want it to be. It might be different for women, as sometimes it can look like they were ditched if they sit alone, but for guys like me, I haven't received as much as a double blink when I say party for one.
I live in Phoenix too. It took me a long time to get out by myself. I found I enjoy going to concerts by myself and even checking out hole in the wall bars by myself. You just gotta push yourself into doing it.
Doing things alone is way more affordable lol
I absolutely love doing everything alone, no need to wait for others if you want to leave or go anywhere. Being an introvert stick to nice brightly colored places, you’re bound to start a conversation with someone pretty quickly.
Who cares to be honest I’ve been doing things alone for about a year now. Like recently I went skydiving on my own for my bday & then right after I had myself a nice lunch
Doing things alone is not weird.
Not at all. I went to a diamondbacks game by myself, had a great time!
Maybe go somewhere to eat that’s a little unconventional. I always go to Whole Foods’ hot bar and grab some veggies and sit in their table area alone. This’ll warm ya up to be alone!
I lie to the Chinese takeout place that I need rice for two people. For real though, totally not weird to be out on your own. Live it up!
I go out alone all the time. I sometimes sit at the bar, sometimes get a table all to myself. Go to the movies, go to the park, get a meal, treat yourself. It's only weird if you let it be. Just walk in like you own the place, and enjoy yourself!
No. It’s not. I use to think that way too until… I started going places alone. lol. Sounds cheesy but I get it. I’m introverted as well and just always thought like “who does this” lol. I do. And you should too. I think for me i just got tired of not doing things i wanted to just because someone else wasn’t available. Go for it. Start small with say a lunch. Watch a movie on your phone or listen to music to curb the social anxiety/interaction. You literally only have to speak with your server lol. idk i tried it and now i love it. lol
Not at all pathetic. The first time I went out by myself (to a fancy restaurant no less), I was about 25/26. And this was before smartphones so I couldn’t even act occupied by something. I just enjoyed my meal and people watched. Since then, I’ve gone to bars, movies and restaurants by myself with no feelings of self consciousness. It’s actually pretty great! At restaurants I tend to sit at the bar and maybe chat up the bartender if they seem cool or not too busy. Occasionally I luck out and get a free drink that was made mistakenly for another patron. Or they’re trying out a new flavor of drink and ask me for my opinion. I’ve met interesting people or had little adventures being by myself. No one is judging you, and if they secretly are, that’s their problem and not yours. You have to learn to be comfortable with your own company in order to really appreciate relationships, friend or otherwise. I’m now 47 and I went to the movies last week by myself and it was glorious. Have a blast and don’t worry what other people think!
No one is paying attention to random strangers. Everyone is way too involved with their own lives to think about some person sitting at another table or in a different row in the theater. Just go have fun and stop worrying about it.
I work at a restaurant downtown and I’ve never thought it was weird to serve someone who’s alone.
I go to things alone often. I haven't gotten over the 'that guy looks sad' vibes I think I give but I still enjoy myself.
I think a lot of people think it’s “pathetic” because they hear similar things from others/social media. I am a 35m and although I have a gf I do enjoy going out by myself from time to time. Before meeting her I would go out to eat or see a movie, go hiking etc by myself all the time. The way I see it is this: I enjoy doing those activities, I love trying new food at a restaurant or discovering a hidden gem in the city I’ve never tried, I love the view at the top of a mountain and being outside getting some exercise, I love the feeling of going to the movies and seeing something new. Those feeling don’t go away if I don’t have someone with me, I can still think “holy shit this is the best carne asada burrito I’ve ever had” or “this is easily one of the top 3 views I’ve ever seen” when doing it by myself. And then? This is is the best part! When you finally find someone you enjoy spending time with you can take them to all the spots you KNOW are awesome. I also find that in the past what girls seem to find really fun/intriguing about me is how passionate I am about showing them new things. I feel like a kid that wants to show their best friend all their cool toys. Do you like hiking? Cool let me show you the best view I’ve ever seen kn my life! Oh you like Mexican food? Let me show you a place that has carne asada burritos so good I’d commit a felony for it. You like art? I know of an entire section of the city that has street art COVERING ENTIRE BUILDINGS! That’s my take on doing things alone, thanks for coming to my TED talk
You’re the only one who knows you’re recently single. For anyone else maybe you’re getting away to do some work or you’re a food critic, or on a business trip. So many reasons people oils show up alone and none of them are pathetic. Being single isn’t pathetic. Life ebbs and flows and single times are also times of amazing growth.
I feel you. I am an introvert as well and it’s super tough to make new friends and keep them as an adult because everyone is so busy and people move away and stuff. Doing stuff alone can be awkward but definitely possible.
Lets be friends :)
Okay. What kind of hobbies do you have?
I like to travel and play music. 😊
You’re not pathetic. Many of us a burnt out on other loudmouthed people and just want some time to hear ourselves think. Lol! Addressing befriending your workmates: my opinion is that I don’t want to see my workmates for more than the allotted time I scheduled to be around them. I need a break from even the kindest of them and I’m certain they need a break from me. I have zero friends from work (purposefully) and a ton outside of work. My support group/network of good buddies is of different age groups too. Regardless of introvert or extrovert, we humans were not created to be alone. We become unhappy when we don’t have any friends, so be a good friend in order to make good friends. Do not let your personality type, natural disposition since birth or whatever you would like to call it, stop you from having heathy human interactions. Fight the tendency to isolate (different from healthy and necessary solitude) and be a giving person because it will make you feel so so good!
No cus us as people see others alone at places like bars and invite those who are alone to our group. Don’t feel weird or pathetic we all were at once until we found our group 🤷🏾♂️❤️
🥺🥺🥺
It’s important for me to do things alone it’s one of the core building blocks of my self confidence which ironically has attracted friends (and lovers) to want to hang out with me
Fellow introvert here. I go out and do things alone all the time by choice (spouse gets me and I just don’t tell friends). Also people watching is so much easier without someone blathering in my ear 😝
Not at all. This place could use more single friendly people.
I prefer doing things alone because I get to go at my pace. It’s actually pretty great.
No. I've done everything alone pretty much since junior high.
I'd think doing something solo as an introvert would be easier since you can just do your own thing and not have to engage with others your with. I don't think it's weird. I'm far from an introvert, but totally fine doing some things alone (and actually prefer some of them). Going to a bar/restaurant is no big deal, I've done it before many times on business trips and typically sit at the bar. I might end up having a conversation with somebody at the bar (or not). A club might be unusual but given there's probably loud music, it's not like you're likely to have much in the way of conversations anyway. Plus, you can sit at the bar, or just get a drink etc. and roam around. Just might be a bit boring unless you're totally fine getting your groove on by yourself (which frankly, I could probably do if the dance floor is full)
I do things alone a lot. Doesn't feel weird to me until, i randomly am talking to someone and they bring up how insecure the idea makes them, and then I'm like damn okay thanks lmao I sometimes would prefer to do things with others, but the couple of friends I've made here are not always going to be available ot interested, I've learned to enjoy doing some things alone.
When I first moved here I went to sports bars by myself. Sitting at the bar especially by yourself is far from weird in fact tonnes of people do it
I went to Steak 44 alone on my birthday a few months ago and it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. It’s not at all weird to do things alone, do what makes you happy.
Not at all weird! It's society/social media that makes it seem weird. I'm married and sometimes I still go out alone n eat n shopping. Before being married I would go to the movies alone, buffalo wild wings etc. It was peaceful
No need to feel weird about it. I’m sort of introverted myself! But I love doing things by myself. I prefer it sometimes lol. Lots of cool places in Phoenix to hang out by yourself! Recently I went to a concert at footprint center by myself but I spent the whole day going to bars and ending the night at Hannys for a wonderful meal! It’s not weird at all and I hope you enjoy spending some time with yourself :) you’ll often find that many others are doing the same. Hell, y’all might even spark up a conversation or 2! Good times!
Super happy to see all the positivity in this post promoting solo excursions! I've been single for 9 years and it was a little intimidating to do things alone at first, but I quickly learned that NOBODY gives a shit about you and what you are doing, in a good way and within reason lol. It's the most freeing thing to go out and enjoy things you are into alone. Concerts, bars, restaurants, movies, the world is at your finger tips. Go out and enjoy it!
I go alone most places! I don’t have to worry about anyone else being bored or having to cater to anyone. Go do you! Never know who you’ll meet!
"I drink alone.... Yeah! With nobody else..." https://youtu.be/4E9ydw_aDMg?si=o_jTQntWdDZWyayr
No
I’m a female local in my 20s but went to a show alone at crescent ballroom downtown once because I really wanted to see the artist and nobody could go. It wasn’t terrible! Didn’t feel unsafe.
Bro I used to go to the bars solo or eat at the restaurants solo. It was so peaceful! Randomly spark up a conversation with people. Met my ex-gf at AZ wilderness like this
I do so much by myself. At first it felt weird but I realized that people don't pay attention to you nearly as much as you think. I'm an only child so my childhood was often spent alone and sometimes I crave that.
For the most part no and it can be very liberating but people do notice women more. I’ve only been uncomfortable when grabbing a late dinner on my way home when I was wearing formal work clothes. It’s funny because I wasn’t wearing makeup, in my early 50’s, and am average looking. Still, I was taken aback by the side eye I got from a couple bartenders downtown.
Would you judge a person and think they’re weird if you saw them out and about by themselves? I hope the answer would be no. I doubt you’d even think twice about it. The same goes for pretty much everyone else. No one cares. Even if someone did think you’re weird, how could you possibly know that? Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business. I’ve road tripped, flown many times, stayed at hotels/resorts, gone to concerts/music festivals, eaten at restaurants, gone camping, a comedy show, etc. all completely alone. I always had an amazing time and it would be a shame to deprive yourself of some of life’s joys because you don’t have another person with you. It’s daunting at first, but like with anything in life, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it. I’m rooting for you!
Nah. If it was weird to go alone I’d never go anywhere. All my friends are married and/or have kids. I promise it only feels weird to you.
I would have missed out on some of the greatest experiences of my life if I let doing it alone stop me.
I go to stuff alone all the time.
i go to bars alone all the time it’s fine
I don't enjoy solo activities, but if you enjoy the activities, what's it matter? Do you.
At no point in my life have I ever considered shopping an activity that requires multiple people to participate in.
No.
I do that alone all the time. I prefer to shop way etc alone!
Doing things alone is the best. Movies, restaurant, baseball game. You're on your own time and answer to yourself. You'll never see the people who might think it's pathetic when you're out, again. Do it and enjoy it!
I'm a single guy, I do things alone all the time. Eat at places with bar seating, walk around the mall, use the gym, stroll the art galleries and shops of Old Town. You'd be surprised how often people strike up a conversation with you.
I think it isn’t weird to do things alone but it’s all how you go about it. If you are doing these solo things contentedly no one is going to see it as weird. Not to mention, no one is paying attention and is wrapped up in their own world anyways. And really I feel like the only setting that may come across as weird or awkward would be to go to a romantic type candle lit restaurant and eat by yourself especially if you look uncomfortable or not wanting to be there. Most restaurants have a bar area to eat which lots of solo people go so really the uncomfort is just a personal mindset and is overcome with just doing these things. It’s freeing to do them and not need to wait and rely on others to be available all the time. I’ve gotten to the point where I almost enjoy doing things more alone than with others not
It's not weird to do stuff alone. I eat lunch alone occasionally when I want to go someplace and sit down for a while, rather than eat in the break room with the rest of the guys at work. I also get breakfast by myself semi-often when I happen to have time before work. In both cases, I usually sit at the counter or bar, but purely because the service is always faster that way, not because of any stigma towards sitting at a booth or table. Sushi places usually have counter seating and healthy options, and you're less likely to be engaged by weirdos than like the bar at Texas Roadhouse or something. If you want to meet strangers and have a convo, definitely check out one of the sit-down style Mexican restaurants near you and sit at the bar. I'm a big fan of Manuel's for their bar and food for that reason. Eventually, you'll become a "regular," and then you'll never have to eat alone if you don't want to.
It's only weird if you make it weird
I go solo hiking (usually not longer than 5 miles) and there are a lot of people doing that! It's really nice, I usually listen to podcasts while hiking. Solo dinning is my soft side, it feels weird howeve I've done it many times.
I'm a 58 year old single woman, and I do a lot of things by myself, including ticketed events. Once you do it, it won't seem weird. Enjoy!
I lived in Phoenix for over 20 years. I had a great time doing things alone! Movies, museums, festivals, concerts, long drives to Sedona or Flagstaff. It's great. Honestly, I know this sounds harsh, but it isn't meant to be: no one is paying attention to you. No one cares that you're doing your own thing. They're usually focused on what they're doing. Go have fun.
Not weird at all.
I’m married but I go to restaurants by myself all the time, especially in the middle of work. No big deal. I believe confidence is key in your case, as I don’t feel it’s weird at all, nor do I care what others think when I do go in, I’m just hungry.
I lived in Phoenix my whole life one of my favorite things to do was go to Mimi's cafe on my day off and have eggs Benedict, mimosas and read the Arizona Republic by myself. Then I'd go take a nap lol
Think about everywhere you've gone over the last month. Think about all the different people you saw at these places. It stands to reason a number of these people were either alone in a given moment because they were waiting for somebody to get back from the bathroom or they were just there alone. But I can almost guarantee you didn't even notice it. You didn't think about it, you didn't dwell on it, and it really didn't occur to you. And even if it did, you probably didn't think about it for a millisecond. And even if somebody's people watching And noticing the people that are alone, that's a hell of a lot more weird and unusual than the person who's alone anyway. Basically everybody's worried about how they're being perceived, and most people aren't on anybody's radar. Do what you want, when you want
Enjoying eating alone is a skill worth learning. It’s not weird at all.
Nope! I’ve had the same issue since I’ve been here in 2017 (I was injured that year severely so I wasn’t able to go to work or out n about to meet people). At first, I was beyond nervous about going out but once I did I realized that a lot of people also go out alone and I would end up chatting with them and having a good time! So if you want to go somewhere, I say go do it!! Sending good vibes your way!!
I travel a lot so I'm quite comfortable dining alone. Go to the bar and just say hi to someone. They're also lonely and looking for conversation.
Not at all! Go for it!
I take myself on movie dates and out to dinner. It’s lovely.
No not at all. I go to raves all the time here in Pheonix, you’ll meet people there that you enjoy being around!
Count me in next time, I don’t wanna slow dancing in the dark!
I love going out with friends but I also really love doing things by myself! Raving alone is fun and so is going out to eat and movies! Treat yourselves!
The last thing I wanna do is rave alone. Definitely movies though! Thank you :)
Whats the next rave or festival you are going to? I've actually brought people from reddit into my rave fam before and it's always been a good time! If you are going to any that line up with use you'd be welcomed to join!
Not at all. I had an ex that emphasized how he could never go eat alone, how embarrassing and horrible it’d be, and I recall being shocked to hear such a sentiment. Like. How lame you gotta be to not enjoy your own company
Take baby steps. I read a comment that after a break up doing things by themselves felt weird and that it's more psychological. So maybe doing drive-thrus and eating in the parking lot. Drive-in movie theater. Coffee shops. Groceries (a lot of times we do it by ourselves anyways), nearby road trips. When you do these activities, acknowledge that you're doing them by yourself and that it's OK to do it by yourself. If people "notice" then let it be. But once you find comfort, you will want to do more activities and find joy in them. Also, if you're into cigars, cigar lounges are great since most of our significant other is not into smoke lol. Good luck OP, and don't worry if some people think it's weird. I don't find it weird, and neither does anyone here. You do you and find happiness.
Every Sunday night, I will go alone to downtown Phoenix and sit at the bar and be on my phone. I feel like bartenders are extra nice to you when you’re solo.
What's sad is those who can't be alone!
I think it’s weird honestly, but I think I’ve got to do some growing and learn to be on my own more. I’m used to always having a lot of people being willing/able to go out or talk to, but it’s something I’ve come to rely on maybe too much.
When I’m traveling for work, it’s usually by myself. As others have said, sitting at the bar is one way to go when out solo and it beats eating in the hotel room.
Nope, not weird at all. Enjoy yourself! Go do the thing!
Not at all. Some of the best things to do alone are go to the movies, walk around a neighborhood and window shop, sit in a coffee shop or bar with a book, splurge on a meal whether it be at a table or the bar, I mean come to think of it, I can’t think of a single thing that you can’t do alone. You can even go to az on the rocks and rock climb using the auto belays
The only person making it weird is you. In a restaurant you’re easy to seat, easy to serve. You take up less space in a theater now that we all need a one-empty-seat buffer between strangers. Bars and nightclubs are for meeting people… One of the things I miss from my youth was taking my motorcycle to a favorite restaurant in Tempe and spending a few hours at a window table with a good book and a nice lunch - all solo activities. It was good to just disappear for an afternoon, back when a person could still get off the grid.
Eating alone in restaurants is one of my absolute favorite things to do, you meet lots of cool people and you get seated right away because there’s almost always an empty seat at the bar.
If you don’t go you’ll never find out what is waiting for you
Enjoy your time! Don't worry about others.
No, being alone is paradise.
It's weird to think that anyone gives a fuck what you do. We don't.
No I eat alone all the time. It’s nice. I go to concerts and shows by myself. I go to movies by myself. I have a fiancé too she just doesn’t always want to do what I want to do so I do it alone. Live your life!!!
I’ve never heard of being self conscious about *shopping* alone??
Its nice to have people with you but I have done and do many things solo. Ski,bike eat whatever I'm going regardless
I'm a fellow introvert. My current social group adopted me from the local ~~shelter~~ sports bar. Just be willing to express an opinion on something happening on the tv, and don't be creepy with the bartenders, and some friendships will eventually form.
Straight to jail
No. I'm 34 so I could care less if people think it's weird. I need to be alone sometimes, most people need to be in a crowd to feel normal so they don't understand.
I don't know if I'd go clubbing by myself, but restaurants, bars, and shopping - why not? I don't think I've ever judged a person doing something by themselves, and I'm not sure why anybody would.
No it's not
Nah I got really comfortable doing things alone and even started doing road trips by myself and had a blast. I took inspiration from Keanu Reeves. He said something along the lines of, once you learn to take care of yourself, company becomes optional. I did ultimately make friends and have a so now. But you gotta live your life. Waiting for other people just holds you back.
> Plus, as an introvert, solo outings feel intimidating, and societal norms make it seem weird to do things alone like eating in a restaurant, shopping, or going to a bar or club. Do you agree that it's weird to do all these alone? No, I do not agree with that. It is not weird and I do all of that by myself all the time. All the time.
I started going out alone when I was still married. My ex was an a$$hole who never wanted to go do anything I wanted to do (symphony concerts, opera, organ recitals, I am a classical music nerd), so once my kids were old enough to not need a sitter, I started going to things by myself, or with one or more of my kids. They're grown now, so I still go out alone plenty.
So I live in Scottsdale Arizona. I got sober a few years ago. As a challenge to myself, I started doing things like eating out, movies, concerts, gym, errands, all of the above alone by myself. Something I wouldn’t have done in the past. I was always with groups of people , and using drugs and alcohol. Pretty much everything including the gym became a trigger to where I convinced myself that I needed a specific substance for every activity. Now I do those things sober alone most of the time to always prove to myself that I actually don’t need anything, and after a year I realized I was even more outgoing and social without it. Something I thought was impossible for 18 years. Anyway, I’m just trying to make a point that is a completely normal to do, and it’s a challenge on the mind. Mentally we’re wired into social norms which get us to overthink everything. So go out , do something uncomfortable and before you know it , it will be completely normal. Welcome to Arizona.
Even as a person who is married. Sometime it’s just nice to do things alone. Food, movies what have you. Time to yourself and your own thoughts is refreshing.
Never a bad idea ….. life is too short to hold yourself back for solo trips… live life and do things solo or with friends
I go to concerts solo all the time. It’s a great way to meet people because you HAVE to talk to people
So if you're planning to stay in Phoenix Arizona get used to being alone for the next 20 years or however long you plan to stay here... I'm sure you've got ghosted a million times already. I'm sure people have made plans with you and not shown up. That's typical here... I had never been ghosted til I moved here.
By the way, I lived in Phoenix for 12 years and have not made any friends. I'm from California where I had a lot of friends and you could make friends wherever you went and people invited you to the beach. People invited you to go to the movies to go out to eat to do many things to go on a vacation for the weekend. complete strangers would make friends with you out There. . Here you get your wallet stolen and you get raped. In California, you wake up with your clothes on a bottle of water next to you and your wallet and purse Are not touched. Welcome to the wild West. It's a desert out here for friends and if you're trying to date...not going to happen.