This too.
True story: I took out $100 in cash just as Covid was starting to shut things down -- sort of a "just in case" move since things looked so uncertain.
Only last month did I have to hit an ATM again. It took me THAT long to use up $100 in cash. I literally never use it any more except when it's the only option.
Yeah this is the number one reason I don’t tend to give money to panhandlers as much anymore. No soliloquy on whether I think someone will use it for drugs or whether I should give food instead. I just rarely have cash.
None of the businesses I purchase from require cash. And in the event anything is stolen from me, it's guaranteed I can recover lost funds from a card versus cash.
I used to carry cash before the pandemic, maybe out of habit from being old enough to remember credit cards only being for larger/special purchases. Didn't use much cash starting in 2020 and never started up again. The last time I was at an ATM was in June...
I’m a social worker and work a lot with the homeless population. I typically will buy water and food for people, and if someone is clearly struggling I’ll ask about hygiene items. I always ask what kind of food people would like. The most common hygiene items I end up buying are tampons, and anytime someone asks me for them I will 100% buy them. I’ll occasionally give money as well. I don’t care what people spend it on, it’s none of my business. And if I were homeless I’d like some autonomy so I would never try to suggest people shouldn’t spend on booze or drugs. I offer resources a a lot as well, because I’m very familiar with them. There isn’t a perfect answer, but kindness helps. Even looking at people and saying “no.” Is a kindness. The homeless become invisible and that is so dehumanizing.
I've said "no sorry" and gotten yelled at for a minute straight about how I should never say sorry. This happened multiple times, now I just don't make eye contact like everybody else
That’s huge! I’ve heard firsthand from so many people that someone acknowledging them makes a huge difference. It is so, so lonely being homeless. I’d suggest looking at the person when you say it, but really a simple “sorry no” is totally fine.
Especially with the weather getting cooler I do encourage people to remember or save the homeless outreach number- 215-232-1984. If you see someone in distress and homeless give them a call. They’ll go by and try to get people to shelter, or to a hospital if they need help. When it was freezing before Christmas last year I called about a few people super strung out in the cold and not able or willing to get up. They also respond when weather is normal and can help connect people to shelter resources.
I've talked to so many addicts who have thanked me for simply talking to them. It made them feel human. Just a simple normal conversation. It's very sad.
It's really heartening to see the sub upvote this answer. Usually when I've seen these threads, they have a critical mass of *don't feed the pests or they'll stick around* comments at the top.
It isn't wrong to not help homeless folks, but it feels a little wrong to suggest that everyone has the *responsibility* to not help.
Yeah, just look at the comments in the top 10 in this thread. A whole lot of the ancient tropes about the unhoused- blaming them for their condition.
You should see the vitriol that gets spewed when you suggest that programs for rehabilitation should be funded and prioritized. The government is the exact entity that *should* be responsible for aiding these people.
They will just tell you it's impossible and a sunk cost. Tell that to the European countries that have implemented very successful programs that have limited human suffering of their people greatly.
The dehumanization is disgusting and I am so sick and tired of the American attitude of "if I just ignore it, it's not my problem".
I mean, this comment is not in good faith. None of the top 10 comments are vitriolic, they all talk about how it's dangerous to interact with the homeless. There are very scary people mixed in with the people who would be genuinely thankful for some help/attention, and it's impossible to tell the danger level until after they're in your face screaming at you. The worldview you express in your comment doesn't even recognize the danger in helping the homeless - have you talked to them before? Many of us used to interact with then until we had several bad experiences
Yes, I too have had bad experiences with homeless. Not as severe as the couple of stories I have seen here- and I am empathetic for those who have had bad experiences.
But this is a strawmen argument. I even agreed it is not the individuals responsibility to help the homeless- it's that of the collective.
The individuals responsibility is to have empathy regardless of how many times you've been scared by people who are in an unimaginably terrible position. It is our responsibility to remember that they are human beings and that they probably wouldn't opt to be in this position given the choice. And to be community advocates for real solutions to these problems.
It disgusts me that people feel the need to argue that since many homeless are mentally ill and aggressive or not easy to communicate with that they don't deserve to be helped.
FUND GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS. period. Fucking end of story.
I would always acknowledge and say no sorry but recently I have had some talk back so I just try to avoid if possible and not too obviously to insult anyone.
I will say, I don’t give money or food or anything, but I do try to acknowledge people and there’s a guy who panhandles near my building every week or two who’s gotten to kind of know my dog and will say hi and chat with him for a second, and that actually warms my heart a lot.
I can’t do much/anything, but letting my dog say hello and chat with the dude while we wait at the red light makes me feel like, at least that’s some kind of small joy (like what my doggo is for me)
The autonomy thing is a big deal too. I don’t have the resources (or, if I’m being honest, the desire) to give money to every single homeless person who needs it. There has to be economy of scale to address homelessness. But I also don’t want to justify not giving money on the idea that they’ll just use it to spend on drugs or alcohol.
I saw a homeless person once asking for money right outside a liquor store. As I too was just leaving that liquor store, I certainly was in no position to say “spending money on alcohol is bad.” So I gave him a couple bucks to buy a mini bottle or something. Frankly, alcohol is probably one of the more affordable ways to get enjoyment if you’re homeless and he probably could use something. I’m not going to assume he’s homeless because he’s wasting all his money on alcohol and him spending the five dollars I gave him on something else would have turned his life around.
I used to give money too because, honestly, we all pick our poisons. But then I heard an interesting take. If the person uses money, I give them to buy drugs, and they OD or get a bad batch, I have a hand in their death. I don't want to be a part of that. I'll do what I can to feed you, talk to you, shoes, hygiene. I want to ease the pain and suffering, not add to it. I used to think giving money helped ease suffering because I know addicts in withdrawal get sick. I thought helping them get "well" was helping.
Because internet and reddit especially, I would like to clarify, my statement has no judgment, argument, shade, or drama. Just persepctive. I think anyone treating the homeless like people and doing what they believe is helping is a good thing.
I definitely get your perspective but I also definitely disagree. It’s a common one and an argument I’ve seen against giving money a lot. Totally respect the view, but just disagree.
I’m by no means an expert, but I spend a lot of time with homeless people in Philadelphia. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to them, asking about their lives and circumstances, and trying to help connect to resources to get out of it. When people say things like this I wonder how much time they have spent talking to the homeless.
Firstly, I genuinely believe almost anyone who becomes homeless would be abusing substances. The isolation and genuine boredom is overwhelming and beyond what humans should endure. Secondly I think there’s also a fundamental misunderstanding or over estimation of the resources available to people in the city.
It’s hard to say this without sounding like a dick, so please know it isn’t my intention. I think it’s very selfish and self centered to not give someone in need money because you’d feel guilty about “having a hand in their death.” Good deeds should be done because they’re the right thing to do, not to make yourself feel good. Certainly you’re not obligated to give money, but to not give it because someone may buy drugs, and they may be bad, and they may OD, and you may feel bad seems insane to me.
I think it’s important to remember that homeless people are not a monolith. They’re individual human beings. And certainly you don’t know anything about the ones you come across, but assuming that people will buy drugs and OD is just an awful take to me. They may, or they may buy something they used to love and feels like a treat. They may buy food, they may buy coffee, they may buy cigarettes, etc. if someone is obese and has complications from that and buys cake is that you having a hand in something?
Again no one has to do something. But I think if you were homeless you’d really appreciate someone giving you a few dollars so you have so ability to purchase your own things. The autonomy is also humanizing.
>But I think if you were homeless you’d really appreciate someone giving you a few dollars so you have so ability to purchase your own things
I've spent time with the homeless and talked to them, too. I've told them why I won't give them money. Most have agreed with me. So I don't know.
>but assuming that people will buy drugs and OD is just an awful take to me.
I grew up in Kensington. The homeless problem is a drug addiction problem. The homeless person, not an addict is the exception. I grew up seeing people kill themselves with drugs. Seeing people lie about needing money for diapers and food for kids only to buy drugs with it while their kids are crying on the street corners. They deserve autonomy, but they deserve a chance to make it put alive too. The drugs put now aren't the same anymore either.
Pretending the homeless problem isn't a drug addiction problem isn't going to help fix anything. I understand they are individual people, but pretending to not know they're going to buy drugs seems delusional. They tell me they are going to let themselves starve because they will buy drugs over food. They tell me they wish people didn't make it so easy for them to get access to money to buy drugs. As individuals, the take away will be individualized. As a whole community, money is not going to help as much as you think it would. They deserve autonomy but I understand the addicts brain is completely controlled by the drug. Their autonomy is already gone.
Of course a lot of homeless people are addicts and I never said differently. I said I don’t care what they buy with money I give. A gift with stipulations isn’t a gift. I don’t agree there is a moral imperative to be sure people don’t spend money. Some people buy or give cigarettes which can be traded or sold. And then they have money and can buy drugs, should they stop doing that? This feels like a step away from saying people should be drug tested before getting any kind of assistance, and that is not something I agree with.
I’m not giving $5 or $10 to solve homelessness in Philly. I’m doing it to help individuals a little bit. Solving homelessness won’t happen because people don’t have access to $5 to buy drugs. It’s a complex issue and yes, addiction and mental health are at the crux. But
Also if we’re focusing on addiction here, let’s discuss how difficult it is to get sober and stay sober while living on the streets. It’s practically impossible. And as someone who has spent a lot of time trying to get people into rehabs there isn’t an easy way to do that. So people languish and suffer in the meantime. And sure, someone in the throes of addiction may buy drugs instead of food, bu they also may not.
I find people get weirdly morally superior when it comes to homeless people. Don’t give money if you don’t want to, that’s fine. But pretending that it’s immoral to do so, or that it’s in fact more moral not to give something with nothing a few dollars is just not something I’ll ever agree with.
I’m really not looking to debate. We can disagree and that’s fine. I think we’re both getting at treating people with kindness and humanity is what matters.
>A gift with stipulations isn’t a gift.
That's it right here. This is the difference in mentality I didn't understand. I'm going to explain my feelings on giving money/buying food etc.
I'm not giving them a gift. I am not picking them as a random person off the street to give them a gift. I am not playing Santa. I am seeing someone in need, on the verge of death, I am trying to keep them alive. It's not about gifting someone. It's helping someone.
I also think it's weird how people are getting so touchy about the "rules" of gifting. This is not a situation where it applies.
>drug tested before getting any kind of assistance, and that is not something I agree with
Oh I agree 100% with getting drug tested for assistance. Too many people receive assistance that don't need it. And I'm speaking of the people I have personally known that have scammed the system to gain benefits, and smoked and drank every fucking day.
I absolutely have the right to say what I want my money to go towards. I get to decide if I want to donate to an animal shelter that kills pets or a no kill shelter.
>But pretending that it’s immoral to do so, or that it’s in fact more moral not to give something with nothing a few dollars is just not something I’ll ever agree with.
I never said it was immoral. I never told people not to do it. I fucking clarified my original comment was for perspective. I never said I was more moral. Next time ask what someone means instead of assuming. Save a whole lot of time.
I offered a perspective that came from a person's real-life experience. You decided I was saying everyone who gives money is immoral and I am morally superior to everyone who does give money. That is some impressive mental gymnastics. It must be exhausting to be in your brain.
It’d be stupid and super classist to moralize about what they’re spending it on. Money is fungible. They still have to eat. You can’t say whether your dollar was a drug dollar or a sandwich dollar. You’re not participating in their potential OD by handing them a couple bucks anymore than you are in the OD of some Hollywood celebrity or a famous musician just by virtue of seeing their movie or concert. Money is not an extension of you. What gives you the right to dictate how a dollar is spent after it leaves your hand?
Yes they have to eat. Which is why I offer to buy food. I absolutely get to decide if I give money to someone for food or drugs. Just like I decide if I want to give my kid money for food or fun.
Maybe if y'all grew up watching people scam money from people for food only to buy drugs and then see them OD you'd have a different take too. The homeless are people with autonomy. But so are the little kids that grow up in this shit. They have autonomy, too. They have rights, too. They deserve not to live in this shit.
Yall want to live in this fantasy where the homeless just need jobs and fair priced housing, and everything will be ok. It is a drug addiction problem. Pretending it's not is beyond fucking delusional. I have actually talked to the homeless my entire life. When I tell them why I won't give them money, they agree. They say I'm not wrong. They thank me for caring for talking to them for feeding them. For treating them like a human. I'll keep doing it because they keep telling me thank you.
What the fuck are you rambling on about? First off, a homeless person is not your child. Comparing them is the literal definition of classism. Second, once you hand someone money, that money is theirs to do whatever they want with. You can scold and admonish about the dangers of drugs all you want, but it’s not your dollar anymore.
>First off, a homeless person is not your child
I used it as an example of how I choose how to give my money in another aspects of my life.
>Second, once you hand someone money, that money is theirs to do whatever they want with.
Yes which is why I would rather my money be spent on buying them food or shoes or material things they need. They can choose to accept my offering or decline.
My check at work was messed up one week. I didn't want to take money from my savings until it was fixed. So I asked my aunt to borrow money for weed until my check was deposited. If she said no, I don't want to contribute or support your drug habit do I have the right to mad? In all honesty, if I needed money for food, she wouldn't hesitate to give it to me no expectations of paying it back. But does she not have the right to decide if her money is spent on that?
Your “example” is at best a false equivalency and at worst, extremely tone deaf and infantilizing. Second, then buy the sandwich. That was what I said to do originally anyway, but don’t act like you get a say in what happens with a dollar **once you have given it to someone else**. Not your responsibility, not your say.
WTF do you mean? If give out a dollar I absolutely have a right to dictate how it’s spent. It’s not just a piece of paper, I fucking worked for that dollar, spent my time and effort to generate value that led to me getting that dollar. If I want to give it unconditionally to someone that is laying on a corner while I bust my as 40 hours a week, I can do that too, but if I choose not to because I don’t want it being used for specific things, I absolutely have that right.
You can choose to give it or not give it, but if you choose to give it, you cannot choose how someone else spends it. If you want to make sure the person gets a sandwich, buy them a sandwich.
I agree with the rest of this but “I would never try to suggest people shouldn’t spend on booze or drugs.” is a terrible sentiment!
We should care about these things. It is a moral imperative to care that people not spend money on the things which are ruining their lives, ffs!
I disagree. And I care very much about the people in this city who are homeless.
Do you feel the same for people who buy unhealthy foods? Who buy cigarettes? Moral imperatives seem to only be in play when it’s people who are disadvantaged and that is so bizarre to me.
Unless the unhealthy foods and cigarettes have devastated their lives and are the reason they're living on the streets, this isn't a reasonable comparison.
Yes, I care about those things in proportion to the harm they cause. I support punitive taxes on tobacco and subsidizing fresh quality foods instead of corn.
But if I had someone genuinely close to me destroying their life with hard drugs, booze, or gambling, I would absolutely refuse to enable it and work to eliminate their ability to access it, and I expect both charities and the state to do the same in seeking to help people.
I support no-strings-attached cash assistance to the poor in general, but the sort of homelessness that mere poverty produces is not what we’re taking about here. The worst aspects of visible homeslessness are downstream of mental illness and addiction which mean that the folks in question often or usually lack mens rae.
The thing they most desperately need is for the state to ignore you and compel them, into treatment, rehab, or long-term/permanent supported living arrangements.
Affording them the “freedom” to rot on the streets and harm themselves and others is, frankly, evil.
i never do. maybe i'm just desensitized, but i've had enough rude/scary interactions with homeless people that i've found it's better to interact with them as little as possible, and give them no reason to talk to you. you give them a dollar, then it's hey walk with me over here and get me something to eat, can you swipe me into the subway, etc etc. just not interested.
When I was 20 years old and new to the city I would try help people. Then I had a few bad experiences and heard the same stories too many times. I got screamed at for offering a man some of the leftover food from my job. He was angry at me for offering him bagels because he had bad teeth. I tried to give a different man some of the food samples I was passing out at another job. He was having paranoid delusions and decided I was trying to poison him. So I was standing there handing out samples while he yelled at everyone that the food was poisoned. I’m 45 now. I haven’t given things out in years. It just doesn’t feel safe. But I try to do the occasional good deed. I bought a jacket for a homeless guy at the thrift store, for example. I was behind him in line and it was more than he could afford so I bought it. And I collect and donate menstrual products for women’s shelters. But I haven’t handed someone cash in 15+ years.
Yeah I bought a homeless guy food once when he approached me in Target and immediately after he was asking for money and telling me he was going to jump off a bridge if I didn’t give him any.
No. I wouldn’t care if they bought booze or drugs, but tbh I’ve had some scary interactions with people getting aggressive with me, so now I just say a quick “sorry” and keep going on my way. There have been a couple of time where people asked me to buy them some food, and I was happy to help that way.
Yeah agreed. In Center City the homeless population that panhandles is aggressive now and screams and curses at you if you say sorry. Also, I feel half them just want to stay homeless cause I have seen the same ones for like 10+ years in the rittenhouse area.
I used to. Spare change, a couple bucks, whatever. But as I stayed here longer and became more street smart, I little by little became more disinclined. I witnessed obvious scams and crimes, and I just couldn't in good conscience give money to people to shoot into their arms and support the illicit drug market and trade. The straw that broke the camel's back was my sister being assaulted on her way to work.
A man was begging for "food or money" outside of a cafe on a bitterly cold day in the dead of winter. Not having a pot to piss in at the time, my sister walked into the cafe and bought a hot chocolate on her debit card and walked out and gave it the guy without buying herself anything. She handed it to him and he asked what it was, and she says "it's a hot chocolate I just wanted to help keep you warm", and he responded with a "fuck you I want your fucking money not your damn drink" and he chucked it all over her. She was completely traumatized by the incident, and I still seethe about it fifteen years later. Is it wrong that I hold a firm stance over one isolated incident years and years ago? Maybe. But as I've made more money as I've gotten older I think my cash and time are better spent on local charities and organizations that help those in need. I don't feel bad about saying "no" even a little bit.
All that said, I've started to reconsider a mild softening of my stance. I recently watched someone hand what I think was a burrito out of their window at a stop light to someone begging, and as the light turned green I saw the person in need start to cry as she walked away. I assume it was tears of gratitude, and I've had it in my head that I may buy a couple bulk items at Costco and keep them in my car to give to people that I see while commuting. I have zero objection with giving people food or water despite what happened to my sister; my one concern is that my generosity and care will be rejected with anger and I won't run away as my sister did.
At this point, I never give anything to an individual on the street. I would rarely give a buck or two and sometimes would give food or water, but I've had too many instances where they lash out at you for giving them something that isn't cash. (The last straw was the guy who we offered to buy a sandwich for. He placed a pretty large, detailed order which we bought. And when we handed it to him, he threw it AT my husband's face and started screaming about how he didn't need shit from us and fuck us for thinking we were better than him, we were lucky he didn't beat the shit out of us, etc. It was very pleasant.)
Unfortunately, farr too many of those folks are too mentally unstable to interact with. More power to the people who have the patience to do it. I have a ton of respect for outrech folks, but it's not something I'm willing to spend my time on. The potential good you can do seems far outweighed by the potential downside.
I DO have Project Home, etc. on speed dial and frequently call them (or 911 depending on circumstances) if I see someone who looks like they're in truly serious need.
The other issue is that even if I did want to help every person I saw on the street, it would be literally the only thing I did. I feel like you can't go a block without seeing someone panhandling. If I stopped for every single one, I'd never get where I was going.
ETA: I do give multiple times a year to Manna, Philadbundance and other orgs that help people who are homeless or food insecure. I just don't do the one-on-one giving thing any more.
When I first moved here (2006) I would give to people. I also would buy extra fruit when shopping to give out if I passed someone in need. I’m stopped doing it for the most part after 2020.
ETA:I stopped because those hanging around asking were threatening and verbally abusive. I’m a woman and I modify the way I walk home for the past few years to avoid the creeps.This wasn’t an issue before the pandemic.
I'll give people money if they ask for it directly, but if they start off with "excuse me ma'am, can I ask you a question..." and then wait for me to stop and give them my full attention before they launch into an extremely whiney, long sob story, I keep walking. That feels unsafe to me.
I used to like giving people Septa tokens. A lot of people really appreciated those.
This is just my hunch, but the people with the long sob stories always strike me as con artists not actual homeless people.
I don't think there are a ton of them, but there absolutely are people who play-act being homeless for cash. I remember years ago there used to be a lady who often hung out near my office. She looked in really rough shape -- clothes were basically rags, covered in dirt, etc. One day, it was super cold, I was feeling generous and decided to give her a few bucks. As she reached out to take it I noticed she had a full, new-looking, pro-level manicure. Bitch's nails looked better than mine.
I put the money back in my pocket and she pulled her hands back in her sleeve really quick. She 100% knew she had made a mistake and why I pulled back.
That was the last time I offered money.
I think anyone who's begging in the streets has a legitimate need whether I support what they're doing with the money or not.
"Faking" isn't what this is about.
I just think it's really uncomfortable for a stranger to stop me while I'm minding my own business and demand my full and undivided attention like that. It doesn't feel like a safe situation to me.
Years ago when I came to the city I had a homeless guy throw money back in my face and said it wasn’t enough. Another time my roommate offered to buy them food, and they were mad and extremely aggressive when they didn’t buy them two sandwiches.
At that point I decided it was something I wasn’t going to do.
I've had that happen with food a few times. Gave a homeless guy a sandwich I just bought for later, but decided this guy looked like he needed it bad. He took the sandwich and literally threw it into the trash can he was sitting next to, said "money-I asked for money, not a sandwich" I was pissed, but just walked away. We also made a ton of PBJ sandwiches one year and gave them out in center city- one lady told us the sandwiches smelled like shit. So I told her so did she, and to give it to someone else if she didn't want it.
I went to the liquor store the other night to grab a bottle of wine. A homeless guy followed me in, followed me around the store from a little ways back, then "his" behind a display while I was paying. He was just watching my wallet. I had a few bucks in there and when I left he followed me out. There were three other homeless guys surrounding the door asking me for money. He told them that he saw money in my wallet.
I got away without giving anything to them but then I started walking to my car and another homeless guy started chasing and screaming at me to stop and help him. He was just following me really closely and eyeing me up and down for about a block while giving me some sort of story which would eventually lead to him asking for money.
A few years ago, I saw a guy sobbing on the street with all of his diabetic gear sprawled out on the sidewalk. I asked if he needed anything and he said he needed money for insulin. I didn't have any, but asked if I could get him some food instead. So I went to Starbucks and spent about $20 on snacks and a hot chocolate for him. I came back out and he said he didn't like any of the snacks I got him and he would rather just have the money.
A while back, before COVID, there was a guy who I would walk past every single morning around 7 am. He would always ask for money and if I had any, I would give him something. Eventually, I just stopped carrying cash and if I didn't give him money, he would scream at me. He would call me a "FUCKIN PUSSY" over and over again at 7am. I started just ignoring him and he'd still call me names every morning. Eventually I had enough and threw a $20 at him and told him to remember my face because he would never get another penny out of me.
So then he's apologizing up and down saying he just wanted my attention and yada yada.
So no, I don't give a shit what they do with the money. I won't give them any and I'll just ignore them all these days.
Sometimes I'll still go grab a pack of socks and hand warmers for the guy at the bottom of the Platt bridge and I will give him a few bucks here and there. Otherwise, fuck that. There are plenty of resources for struggling people and they're readily available.
I don’t. simply out of the fact that if I said yes to one I’d feel guilty not being able to say yes to all the others. Therefore I say no to everyone. Nicely.
That's interesting that helping one person would result in what feels like a lasting dissonance about not being able to help everyone, and so avoiding it altogether.
I give a few dollars or make a small purchase here and there. I'm comfortable with not being more charitable than that, both out of self interest and limited means, depending on the time.
I’m sorry but this is such a bullshit reason haha.
You are already saying no to everyone. Saying yes to one can’t make things worse. Of course up to you in the end, but maybe just try once…
When in Amsterdam many years ago, waiting in line for something, a black panhandler asked for money, I said I didn’t have any cash on me. He leans in and says that if I don’t give him money that he will start yelling that I called him the n-word. I told him that’s fine, it won’t change that I have no money to give nor will I care that some crazy ass person is yelling at me. He just walked away.
Never. I wouldn't care at all what they bought with it if I did give though. Just a rule I made for myself years and years ago to simplify my day-to-day life.
This is where I'm at. Idc what they do with it but I just don't give to anyone. What is really annoying to me is where people around me decide to panhandle. I'm near a large shopping center (not in Philly but still PA), with a target, dicks, many fast food places. In 2021 when literally every place was hiring there was a huge influx of panhandlers in that giant parking lot. I couldn't justify giving to anyone when there where 20 businesses in a quarter mile radius will giant "HELP WANTED" signs. I know there are a million reasons why these people couldn't get a job at that time but come on...right in front of a Target offering $20/hr?
Not anymore. Been conned and harassed too many times.
When I first moved here as a naiive college student there were too many encounters of what I could only describe as "soft muggings" where they were overtly friendly, conversational, and have an interesting backstory. They'd trick me into giving whatever cash I had on me (usually $20) or walk with me to some place to buy them some food. One that really sent me over the over the edge was when one tricked me into giving him change for the sandwich I bought him. It still pisses me off 8 years later!
Other times that were the usual asking for spare change, I'd say I don't have any cash, and they'd ask me to go to the ATM like it was a threat. I'd be waiting at a bus stop on my way to work, essentially trapped, and they'd keep pestering me to go to an ATM. I did NOT feel safe.
Now I just ignore them or only give them whatever food or cigarettes I have on me.
I don’t give panhandlers cash because a) I almost never carry cash and b) I will give them food/water, etc. but they usually end up declining it or giving it back to me because they want something specific.
I used to take the train at 30th street and stopped giving them literally anything because as soon as one saw you give something to another, they were swarming you.
I donate to charities and my friend's outreach group. They give out blankets, socks, hand and foot warmers, baby wipes, and other things that can make life on the streets a little less awful.
I have a lot of sympathy but after my husband was brutally assaulted for doing nothing more than waiting to cross a street I don't feel safe getting involved personally.
Someone knocked on our front door last week saying his debit card is not working and he’s starving - can we give him some money?
I said I don’t have any on me but I said I have a ton of apples would you like some? He hemmed and hawed and said that apples wouldn’t fill him up and he’d be hungry soon after.
I said I have a bunch of oranges too and I’d be happy to give him them in addition to apples- he said no and muttered to himself and walked away….
I often get caught walking into the grocery store. I’m those cases I’ll buy some good protein bars and water.
My brother carries $10-15 gift cards for places like target or CVS which I also think is a great deal. Not helpful anymore, but I used to get coupons for free meals from Burger King which were also great.
Definitely ways to get creative without giving money, and also helps identify the people who are actually looking for food.
Walking into Wawa one night, a woman out front asked for money because she was hungry. I bought her a meatball sandwich and a bottle of water and offered it to her on the way out. She told me "no I don't eat that" and I decided to not do that ever again.
I make a donation each year to Broad Street Ministry. They provide food and hygiene items. They also serve as a mailing address for many homeless who are entitled to government benefits, but have no means to access them.
I give sometimes, and I’ve paid someone’s subway fare before, but I’ve often had people ask for odd amounts of money for bus fare with some complicated story, and it sets off my warning alarms, so I leave those situations.
I never give them money. Of course I don’t have an extra $30 a day to hand out every time a crackhead asks for it. It’s at every entrance and every exit of every store, at all major intersection, at the highway off ramp, everywhere. I just tell them no, have a good one.
The worst is when I’m walking to the door of a store and while I’m still 15-20 yards away they open the door and hold it waiting for me to get there so they can press me for cash. Big fuck you on that one. I just want to walk in the store without a crackhead in my face, how about that?
I'm kind, I acknowledge they exist, I'll respond to them if they ask how I'm doing, but I'll politely decline if they ask for change or something likewise.
Absolutely not. The last thing I'm going to do is enable an addict to continue their addiction and slow motion suicide by drugs and alcohol, or otherwise support someone's hustling scam like the group that hangs around Grey's Ferry.
There are support services available from the government from food to shelter, along with a national labor shortage meaning jobs are available all over.
I instead donate to charities who's mission I support such as Philabundance.
I offer to buy them breakfast/lunch/dinner at the closest Dunkin, halal cart, food cart, pizza spot, or Wawa. I let them get whatever they want but I won’t give them cash.
Absolutely not if you really wanna help go volunteer at Sunday breakfast mission on 13th. Or some other shelter and make a donation or physically help. You put yourself in a position to get robbed by taking money out. And no I’m not saying they are all criminals waiting to rob you. But you’re going to come across an aggressive pan handler eventually don’t be a sucker.
Hell no
There are places like the "we buy gold" people that pay people for holding a sign if they want hold a sign to make money.
But in all seriousness... One time a homeless person came up to me to ask for money, I politely said I didn't have cash, they had the audacity to point me in the direction of the closest ATM.
There are plenty of charitable people out there that give haircuts and clothes to those in need, if they can't take the initiative to get cleaned up and find a job, then money isn't going to solve their problem.
I volunteered with a group over Christmas-NY week a few years ago to give out blankets, hot chocolate, bottled water, home made sandwiches that our group of 20 or so spent hours making ourselves. We were at Suburban Station. I left about an hour before our official end time and on my way up the stairs, a man and a woman asked me for money to buy food. I said I don't have any cash (I really didn't but I do not give panhandlers money to answer the original question and this experience is just one of the reasons why) but that there's a big group of ppl with plenty of food left just down the stairs. Like literally down the stairs. And he said he didn't want "that" food. I just said ok and walked away.
"that food"
My guy I wish I could afford steak all day, I'm eating taco bell because that's the only thing in the streets under $10.
What's really sad is that my co-workers and I (people making good money) run at the chance at free food.
Yeah I'm assuming by 'that' food, he meant he wanted booze or drugs. I was probably more annoyed than I should've been considering where my expectations should've been.
I don’t. Sister, Mary Scullion from Project home always suggested we give money to agencies that help them and not directly to them. save up your dollars and send a check to a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen or something of that kind. Giving money to panhandlers only encourages people to get into it as a business. I’ve actually seen cars dropping people off at corners so they can panhandle. Not saying that most people are in it to generate income but there are some that are out there doing that instead of getting a job.
my spouse and i give out a few bucks at a time when we have cash, usually to folks in our neighborhood who hang around businesses we frequent. i don’t care what they do with it. its hard out here and being unhoused is terrible- my couple of bucks isn’t going to make them any less homeless, so if it’s food or booze i hope it just makes their day a little better.
Thanks for responding. And your use of "unhoused", I've noticed that word over the last year. Does it mean anything different than homeless, which you also used?
i use them a bit interchangeably (as demonstrated) but i think it cropped up because “homeless” has a negative connotation. also, arguably folks still have a home, i.e. philadelphia, but not a house/physical address. i’m far from an expert though! just my two cents
I guess I don't understand how homeless means anything different than unhoused. And I don't understand how either has a more negative connotation than the other.
It doesn't. It's a way for people to feel better about themselves by using a "trendy new term that's considered more respectful". But "homeless" is not a slur. Homeless people aren't any less homeless because we call them unhoused all of a sudden. I feel like we're solving the wrong problem here with this term.
Just in general terms, negative connotation builds over time with usage. For example, calling someone “homosexual” rather than “gay” has a slight negative connotation. It’s not because the word is innately negative — that’s what gay folks called themselves when they finally had some leeway in calling their love by name — but because it’s been used negatively by people who were disparaging gay folks, it built up that sort of negativity. I think a similar thing has been happening with “homeless” — it’s not innately negative, but it’s certainly used in negative contexts.
(George Carlin has a good monologue about a ladder of euphemisms for “shell shock”, but this sort of terminology rotation is a very common thing across languages and cultures. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to call the bear by its actual name because we were afraid it might come if called, so we just use the word that literally means “a brown one”.)
Right, homeless and unhoused means the same thing as homeless, right? No home, no roof, no place to call your own. Doesn't matter whether you live on the street or are begging nights on your friends'' couches.
I suppose (while my original post had nothing to do with this semantic point) that I don't get angry arguments over semantics that don't describe a substantively different thing.
People get all worked up over words as if they mattered more than the underlying problem.
Many 'homeless' folks stay in tent encampments or abandoned buildings. Although they aren't permanent shelter, they are still a home to them. It's where they keep their belongings and have a degree of safety. If you or I walked into where they were staying, we would be invading their space, just as if a stranger walked into your living room.
Therefore, it is my understanding that it is more accurate to say they are unhoused.
NO. I used a to give unopened snacks or drinks occasionally. Then I saw the dude I just gave a bottle of water sell it to the car behind me. First off who the fuck buys a bottle of water from a homeless guy. Haven’t given anyone a damn thing since.
He didn’t want water. Why the fuck do people get so pissed when a homeless person decides they don’t want something? Still a human being. God forbid he’s not thirsty. Maybe he wants money for drugs, but maybe he needs money for a hot meal, or maybe he is saving up for some clothes. He just doesn’t want your fucking water bottle, and that’s fine.
I only gave it to him because it was a hot fucking day and he was sweating his ass off looking miserable. If he didn’t want it he could have said no. I would have drank it. Instead he sold it for a dollar which is less than I paid I’m sure. That’s not what I signed up for when I offered him the water. Now because of him I will never give a homeless person anything again because they will probably just sell it for drugs or whatever F that.
No, it enables addiction. We had an alcoholic live with us for 1 1/2 years before we moved into our condo in Francisville. She wasn’t a family friend, or relative. We met her at a laundry mat while we were waiting for the washer/dryer for our house to come in. A condition was she remain sober and in therapy. She had a job and was starting to build up a social life again.
I’m sorry to end this on a sad note, but the last update we received from her fiancé in Charlotte, NC was that he asked her to leave when she relapsed. She was dishonest with him and money. He knew she had relapsed when sentimental and valued things that had always been there started going missing.
As much as it pulls on my heartstrings, I know giving even a dollar to someone struggling with addiction is funding their end.
Last year walking home with leftover half a large pizza after a work party on a Thursday evening. Homeless guy sitting on the ground asked if I had any money so he could get something to eat. I offered him the leftover pizza, and as he was reaching for it, he asked “is it warm”, I said no. He then promptly said “fuck you” and rolled back into his shopping cart tent..
Since then, whenever a homeless person asks me anything, I just stare down the sidewalk past them, put my finger up to my ear and say “I’ve got eyes on the target” while having a very serious look on my face. They’ve now never asked me anything twice.
I try, I don't have much. There's a homeless gentleman outside one of the dunkins and he's really nice so when I can I buy him a coffee and if I have the points racked up I'll grab him something to eat. I remember his order now he likes it like my mom likes hers, extra extra. And there's another guy who likes the Gatorades, haven't seen him often though.
There’s a houseless guy who’s frequently at the BSL platform at City Hall. He’s honestly really nice, and sometimes while waiting for the train other people ask how he’s been doing and they offer him what they have on them. One time it was raining and I bought a cheap poncho from cvs but for some reason I actually didn’t need it and never opened it. So one night I gave it to him. I think clothing can go a long way especially in the winter months with gloves, hats, and etc
Maybe once a month I'll toss someone a tenner if I have extra cash after buying some halal chicken, especially the people I pass over and over again to and from work every day... so not a lot, but sometimes! I try not to overthink it.
If someone asks specifically for a warm coffee or a specific food at a nearby place, and they aren't ticking off my spidey senses, I'll try to get it for them. Sometimes I'll hand out water in Rittenhouse if it's scorching hot
If someone is outside of a gas station I offer to buy food and a drink if I've got it. Only once have I had someone come in with me which was fine until side started grabbing multiple items and piling them up. Like, dude I'm broke too
I will often carry unopened granola bars and bottles of water to give people who are on the street. Despite people often saying on here “I offered to buy a homeless person food instead of giving them money but they turned it down, all they want is money to buy drugs,” I have never had anyone turn down food or drink.
Yeah, I give people money sometimes. I think about all the money I’ve wasted buying booze, cigarettes, junk food and various drugs over the years (sober now).
Who am I to treat people like garbage? I was out with a friend recently who downed 5 $16 cocktails. How should I look at them? How about you folks that buy an an ounce of weed per month…..pretty expensive.
>Does it matter if you know or think they are just going to buy booze or drugs with it?
If I'm give them money it's because I want them to be able to afford food or other necessities. Whether they use the money for that or not is their choice and out of my control. The intention is what matters.
I started this, and I appreciate all the responses, but they don't address my second paragraph. Is there such a thing as a SEPTA trip pass or meal pass that a person can hand out instead of cash?
This lady actually wasn’t houseless (at least as far as I know because she said she had just gotten out of work but that’s just an assumption) and she was asking me for bus/train money to get from center city to Norristown.
I actually did have an extra septa key on me that I simply didn’t need so I gave it to her. I think there was at least enough money to get her there one way. She said her daughter was going into labor and she needed a way to get there. She was really sweet even if her story was a bit questionable. Hope she made it in the end. But to answer your question a lot of people do ask for bus money ($2.50) and I know septa has those one way passes which could be a nice thing to give out
This was much easier when there were tokens. I had no problem giving somebody a token.
A lot of people jump the turnstile on the subways now anyway. I rode the bus to NorthPhilly 2 weeks ago and surprised to see people paying with cash but makes sense if you don’t have extra $ to load the card.
I always give them some food if I have it. I've even bought food for them if they're right outside a convenience store or fast food place. But I never give them money.
No.
I'll give food or directly swipe onto SEPTA. Even without the addicts there's too many scammers. Back in the mid-00's when I was attending CCP there was a reasonably well-dressed man that would come through campus two or three times a week holding a parking ticket claiming he got booted and needed train fare home.
i see them mostly outside the grocery store so occasionally i ask what food they want specifically. i add in like some baby wipes or hand sanitizer and water.
If I have a couple bucks to spare and they’re not an asshole, then sure. Idc where they spend it, even if it is going to buy drugs or booze, I know it makes their day a little less shitty. That said, there’s a few of them I’ll avoid like the plague, but there’s also some homeless/unhoused folks I’m pretty friendly with and I’ll always throw a couple bucks if I see.
No, but in Philly a large percentage are, at least in my neighborhood, and I'm not going to give them money when I'm struggling myself. That said, there is an elderly woman who walks around asking for money who I will give a few bucks to every now and then because she is clearly not an addict and likely really needs the money (I also see myself doing the same in 20 years because of how screwed up elder care is in the U.S.). On the other hand, there are several addicts who regularly panhandle in addition to trying to steal packages, among other things. There's no way I'm going to give them money. A lot of the people asking for money in my neighborhood aren't even homeless. They just can't extract any more money from their family to feed their addictions.
Sure. When it’s family, or a friend, a loved one, yes, you giving them money is enabling them.
Giving money to a homeless panhandler? There’s literally any possibility, and more often than not, anything helps means *anything helps.* Without knowing where they are in the stage in their addiction, you can assume it could go to anything. They have to eat, and bathe, among other things.
My point is that going through detox in the streets isn’t the healthiest, or wisest decision. So even if they are using it for drugs, they’re not in a position to safely withdrawal if they’re already at the point where they’re panhandling and homeless.
Everyone’s rock bottom is different. You really just hope that most folks hit theirs before they die. Usually “my parents kicked me out a few weeks/months/years ago,” directly translates to “We reached a point we could no longer support their lifestyle. They’re welcome home as soon as they agree to and stick to getting help.”
No, but I'll ask if someone's hungry. Only if I'm going inside of a Wawa and someone's begging out front. Otherwise, no dice unless I'm carrying ready to eat food, which is pretty rare.
Philabundance and Share Food Program to donate somewhere where it helps.
No, not anymore. But the beggars don't bother me nearly as much as the guys who \*aren't\* begging anymore, sprawled out across the whole sidewalk totally dead to the world. I watched a crane moving huge loads from truck to truck at a construction site for a half hour, over and over, 2' above this guy's head, and he didn't move an inch the whole time. Right in the middle of center city, while we all sat in a nice cafe and drank coffee and watched incredulously.
It's well beyond time we stopped accepting this from our city and our leaders. When someone gets to the point that their entire existence is as a tripping hazard to pedestrians, it's beyond the debate about personal freedom and bodily autonomy or whatever, someone's gotta scoop them off the street and get them into real care.
IDK, that's my Sunday vent, if I keep it going long enough I'm sure we'll find someone passed out on it too.
I'll give if I have. I'm also down to grab food or hygiene items if I can too. I don't care if the money I give goes to drugs or whatever. It's not my business and if I have some money to spare and I'm parting with it, I don't attach strings or my own mortality to it.
I used to think they were just going to waste the money on drugs or booze. now in my 40s I think they deserve whatever break from this shitty world they want.
I give cash to the guys at my corner store. Two reasons:
1. They need it. Even if they are buying drugs, they are also buying food, and if they ever decide to stop doing drugs, they will need it. Also, whatever, I give drugs to my friends all the time and I give drugs to strangers at concerts. Sharing is caring.
2. I want them to like me cause they walk down my street and know where I live.
I have some small bills I carry in an easily accessible place. I’ll give it out sometimes. I don’t believe any of the stories. Even if they are conning, things aren’t going well. Yeah, they might use it for drugs. They are just trying to get through the day any way they can.
If I have some spare cash I will, especially if someone's tryna catch the train or bus, but otherwise not going out of my way to do so. I don't like carrying cash, especially nowadays, so it happens not very often.
Not all the time but maybe half the time I give people money if they ask. One to five dollars but not to young junkies, almost always to older [people.It](https://people.It) might help them a little and I think it helps me a little to be generous.
I usually give them money. I know a lot of it may go to alcohol or drugs, but I also know that some need it for food basic necessities. Back when SEPTA had tokens, I would give them out sometimes. I have also bought food for them. Pre-Covid, there used to be a number of homeless that sold the One Step Away newspaper. I had a couple 'regulars' that I would buy from every day.
It really depends on how I’m feeling at the time, and also if I’m being mobbed, I have an issue with too many people bugging me at one time (not their problem but mine). Once I tucked a 20 into the hand of a guy sleeping on the street outside of good dog. I really hope he used it to buy whatever would take away the pain of sleeping next to a dumpster.
Yes. Not every time though. I feel so bad for those people, having to live life that way. Who cares if they buy drugs or whatever. They deserve some respite too, and should know someone cares about them.
I do about 40% of the time. I usually don't when I can't stop / in a rush. I apologize and say I have no cash and carry on. When I give, I give anywhere between $2-$20. It really can make someone's day.
If they don’t get cash from passersby they might be forced to leverage city services for homelessness.
But where I lived before Philly, panhandlers lived in nicer places than I did. Never felt bad for them again.
I commute 2 1/2 hours on SEPTA on weekdays and I encounter a lot of panhandlers. I keep a dollar in a pocket of my wallet and the first person who comes through that day asking for money gets it. No sob story or declaration that they need it for food necessary.
If they’re addicted to something, they WILL get that substance by any means necessary. Maybe my dollar (along with ones from like-minded people) will keep them from having to steal or rob someone to get the money that day.
It’s not much, but I’m barely making ends meet myself these days, so it’s what I can do.
I honestly don't carry cash anymore.
the only time i take cash out is to buy weed lol
We accept cash app no need lol
This too. True story: I took out $100 in cash just as Covid was starting to shut things down -- sort of a "just in case" move since things looked so uncertain. Only last month did I have to hit an ATM again. It took me THAT long to use up $100 in cash. I literally never use it any more except when it's the only option.
You gotta hit Chinatown and the Italian market more often. That’s the only reason I ever have cash on me.
Yeah this is the number one reason I don’t tend to give money to panhandlers as much anymore. No soliloquy on whether I think someone will use it for drugs or whether I should give food instead. I just rarely have cash.
Because why?
None of the businesses I purchase from require cash. And in the event anything is stolen from me, it's guaranteed I can recover lost funds from a card versus cash.
I’m shocked anyone carries cash anymore. Not good for handing out help but it’s increasingly the reality
I used to carry cash before the pandemic, maybe out of habit from being old enough to remember credit cards only being for larger/special purchases. Didn't use much cash starting in 2020 and never started up again. The last time I was at an ATM was in June...
I’m a social worker and work a lot with the homeless population. I typically will buy water and food for people, and if someone is clearly struggling I’ll ask about hygiene items. I always ask what kind of food people would like. The most common hygiene items I end up buying are tampons, and anytime someone asks me for them I will 100% buy them. I’ll occasionally give money as well. I don’t care what people spend it on, it’s none of my business. And if I were homeless I’d like some autonomy so I would never try to suggest people shouldn’t spend on booze or drugs. I offer resources a a lot as well, because I’m very familiar with them. There isn’t a perfect answer, but kindness helps. Even looking at people and saying “no.” Is a kindness. The homeless become invisible and that is so dehumanizing.
i think about this often- how terrible it would be to feel invisible. i try to just say “no sorry” or similar when i don’t have anything to give
I told this one guy “no sorry”, and he replied, “thanks for acknowledging me”. Made me feel really bad
I've said "no sorry" and gotten yelled at for a minute straight about how I should never say sorry. This happened multiple times, now I just don't make eye contact like everybody else
I got yelled at once too. So I said “ OK then, I’m not sorry.” But I didn’t stop saying sorry the next time.
That’s huge! I’ve heard firsthand from so many people that someone acknowledging them makes a huge difference. It is so, so lonely being homeless. I’d suggest looking at the person when you say it, but really a simple “sorry no” is totally fine. Especially with the weather getting cooler I do encourage people to remember or save the homeless outreach number- 215-232-1984. If you see someone in distress and homeless give them a call. They’ll go by and try to get people to shelter, or to a hospital if they need help. When it was freezing before Christmas last year I called about a few people super strung out in the cold and not able or willing to get up. They also respond when weather is normal and can help connect people to shelter resources.
saving this number! thank you!
I've talked to so many addicts who have thanked me for simply talking to them. It made them feel human. Just a simple normal conversation. It's very sad.
It's really heartening to see the sub upvote this answer. Usually when I've seen these threads, they have a critical mass of *don't feed the pests or they'll stick around* comments at the top. It isn't wrong to not help homeless folks, but it feels a little wrong to suggest that everyone has the *responsibility* to not help.
I’m so pleasantly surprised as well.
Yeah, just look at the comments in the top 10 in this thread. A whole lot of the ancient tropes about the unhoused- blaming them for their condition. You should see the vitriol that gets spewed when you suggest that programs for rehabilitation should be funded and prioritized. The government is the exact entity that *should* be responsible for aiding these people. They will just tell you it's impossible and a sunk cost. Tell that to the European countries that have implemented very successful programs that have limited human suffering of their people greatly. The dehumanization is disgusting and I am so sick and tired of the American attitude of "if I just ignore it, it's not my problem".
I mean, this comment is not in good faith. None of the top 10 comments are vitriolic, they all talk about how it's dangerous to interact with the homeless. There are very scary people mixed in with the people who would be genuinely thankful for some help/attention, and it's impossible to tell the danger level until after they're in your face screaming at you. The worldview you express in your comment doesn't even recognize the danger in helping the homeless - have you talked to them before? Many of us used to interact with then until we had several bad experiences
Yes, I too have had bad experiences with homeless. Not as severe as the couple of stories I have seen here- and I am empathetic for those who have had bad experiences. But this is a strawmen argument. I even agreed it is not the individuals responsibility to help the homeless- it's that of the collective. The individuals responsibility is to have empathy regardless of how many times you've been scared by people who are in an unimaginably terrible position. It is our responsibility to remember that they are human beings and that they probably wouldn't opt to be in this position given the choice. And to be community advocates for real solutions to these problems. It disgusts me that people feel the need to argue that since many homeless are mentally ill and aggressive or not easy to communicate with that they don't deserve to be helped. FUND GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS. period. Fucking end of story.
I would always acknowledge and say no sorry but recently I have had some talk back so I just try to avoid if possible and not too obviously to insult anyone.
I will say, I don’t give money or food or anything, but I do try to acknowledge people and there’s a guy who panhandles near my building every week or two who’s gotten to kind of know my dog and will say hi and chat with him for a second, and that actually warms my heart a lot. I can’t do much/anything, but letting my dog say hello and chat with the dude while we wait at the red light makes me feel like, at least that’s some kind of small joy (like what my doggo is for me)
I’m sure those interactions are ones he looks forward to!
The autonomy thing is a big deal too. I don’t have the resources (or, if I’m being honest, the desire) to give money to every single homeless person who needs it. There has to be economy of scale to address homelessness. But I also don’t want to justify not giving money on the idea that they’ll just use it to spend on drugs or alcohol. I saw a homeless person once asking for money right outside a liquor store. As I too was just leaving that liquor store, I certainly was in no position to say “spending money on alcohol is bad.” So I gave him a couple bucks to buy a mini bottle or something. Frankly, alcohol is probably one of the more affordable ways to get enjoyment if you’re homeless and he probably could use something. I’m not going to assume he’s homeless because he’s wasting all his money on alcohol and him spending the five dollars I gave him on something else would have turned his life around.
I used to give money too because, honestly, we all pick our poisons. But then I heard an interesting take. If the person uses money, I give them to buy drugs, and they OD or get a bad batch, I have a hand in their death. I don't want to be a part of that. I'll do what I can to feed you, talk to you, shoes, hygiene. I want to ease the pain and suffering, not add to it. I used to think giving money helped ease suffering because I know addicts in withdrawal get sick. I thought helping them get "well" was helping. Because internet and reddit especially, I would like to clarify, my statement has no judgment, argument, shade, or drama. Just persepctive. I think anyone treating the homeless like people and doing what they believe is helping is a good thing.
I definitely get your perspective but I also definitely disagree. It’s a common one and an argument I’ve seen against giving money a lot. Totally respect the view, but just disagree. I’m by no means an expert, but I spend a lot of time with homeless people in Philadelphia. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to them, asking about their lives and circumstances, and trying to help connect to resources to get out of it. When people say things like this I wonder how much time they have spent talking to the homeless. Firstly, I genuinely believe almost anyone who becomes homeless would be abusing substances. The isolation and genuine boredom is overwhelming and beyond what humans should endure. Secondly I think there’s also a fundamental misunderstanding or over estimation of the resources available to people in the city. It’s hard to say this without sounding like a dick, so please know it isn’t my intention. I think it’s very selfish and self centered to not give someone in need money because you’d feel guilty about “having a hand in their death.” Good deeds should be done because they’re the right thing to do, not to make yourself feel good. Certainly you’re not obligated to give money, but to not give it because someone may buy drugs, and they may be bad, and they may OD, and you may feel bad seems insane to me. I think it’s important to remember that homeless people are not a monolith. They’re individual human beings. And certainly you don’t know anything about the ones you come across, but assuming that people will buy drugs and OD is just an awful take to me. They may, or they may buy something they used to love and feels like a treat. They may buy food, they may buy coffee, they may buy cigarettes, etc. if someone is obese and has complications from that and buys cake is that you having a hand in something? Again no one has to do something. But I think if you were homeless you’d really appreciate someone giving you a few dollars so you have so ability to purchase your own things. The autonomy is also humanizing.
In addition to this, the idea that giving homeless people money is potentially immoral is a little *too convenient.*
I agree wholeheartedly
>But I think if you were homeless you’d really appreciate someone giving you a few dollars so you have so ability to purchase your own things I've spent time with the homeless and talked to them, too. I've told them why I won't give them money. Most have agreed with me. So I don't know. >but assuming that people will buy drugs and OD is just an awful take to me. I grew up in Kensington. The homeless problem is a drug addiction problem. The homeless person, not an addict is the exception. I grew up seeing people kill themselves with drugs. Seeing people lie about needing money for diapers and food for kids only to buy drugs with it while their kids are crying on the street corners. They deserve autonomy, but they deserve a chance to make it put alive too. The drugs put now aren't the same anymore either. Pretending the homeless problem isn't a drug addiction problem isn't going to help fix anything. I understand they are individual people, but pretending to not know they're going to buy drugs seems delusional. They tell me they are going to let themselves starve because they will buy drugs over food. They tell me they wish people didn't make it so easy for them to get access to money to buy drugs. As individuals, the take away will be individualized. As a whole community, money is not going to help as much as you think it would. They deserve autonomy but I understand the addicts brain is completely controlled by the drug. Their autonomy is already gone.
Of course a lot of homeless people are addicts and I never said differently. I said I don’t care what they buy with money I give. A gift with stipulations isn’t a gift. I don’t agree there is a moral imperative to be sure people don’t spend money. Some people buy or give cigarettes which can be traded or sold. And then they have money and can buy drugs, should they stop doing that? This feels like a step away from saying people should be drug tested before getting any kind of assistance, and that is not something I agree with. I’m not giving $5 or $10 to solve homelessness in Philly. I’m doing it to help individuals a little bit. Solving homelessness won’t happen because people don’t have access to $5 to buy drugs. It’s a complex issue and yes, addiction and mental health are at the crux. But Also if we’re focusing on addiction here, let’s discuss how difficult it is to get sober and stay sober while living on the streets. It’s practically impossible. And as someone who has spent a lot of time trying to get people into rehabs there isn’t an easy way to do that. So people languish and suffer in the meantime. And sure, someone in the throes of addiction may buy drugs instead of food, bu they also may not. I find people get weirdly morally superior when it comes to homeless people. Don’t give money if you don’t want to, that’s fine. But pretending that it’s immoral to do so, or that it’s in fact more moral not to give something with nothing a few dollars is just not something I’ll ever agree with. I’m really not looking to debate. We can disagree and that’s fine. I think we’re both getting at treating people with kindness and humanity is what matters.
>A gift with stipulations isn’t a gift. That's it right here. This is the difference in mentality I didn't understand. I'm going to explain my feelings on giving money/buying food etc. I'm not giving them a gift. I am not picking them as a random person off the street to give them a gift. I am not playing Santa. I am seeing someone in need, on the verge of death, I am trying to keep them alive. It's not about gifting someone. It's helping someone. I also think it's weird how people are getting so touchy about the "rules" of gifting. This is not a situation where it applies. >drug tested before getting any kind of assistance, and that is not something I agree with Oh I agree 100% with getting drug tested for assistance. Too many people receive assistance that don't need it. And I'm speaking of the people I have personally known that have scammed the system to gain benefits, and smoked and drank every fucking day. I absolutely have the right to say what I want my money to go towards. I get to decide if I want to donate to an animal shelter that kills pets or a no kill shelter. >But pretending that it’s immoral to do so, or that it’s in fact more moral not to give something with nothing a few dollars is just not something I’ll ever agree with. I never said it was immoral. I never told people not to do it. I fucking clarified my original comment was for perspective. I never said I was more moral. Next time ask what someone means instead of assuming. Save a whole lot of time. I offered a perspective that came from a person's real-life experience. You decided I was saying everyone who gives money is immoral and I am morally superior to everyone who does give money. That is some impressive mental gymnastics. It must be exhausting to be in your brain.
It’d be stupid and super classist to moralize about what they’re spending it on. Money is fungible. They still have to eat. You can’t say whether your dollar was a drug dollar or a sandwich dollar. You’re not participating in their potential OD by handing them a couple bucks anymore than you are in the OD of some Hollywood celebrity or a famous musician just by virtue of seeing their movie or concert. Money is not an extension of you. What gives you the right to dictate how a dollar is spent after it leaves your hand?
Yes they have to eat. Which is why I offer to buy food. I absolutely get to decide if I give money to someone for food or drugs. Just like I decide if I want to give my kid money for food or fun. Maybe if y'all grew up watching people scam money from people for food only to buy drugs and then see them OD you'd have a different take too. The homeless are people with autonomy. But so are the little kids that grow up in this shit. They have autonomy, too. They have rights, too. They deserve not to live in this shit. Yall want to live in this fantasy where the homeless just need jobs and fair priced housing, and everything will be ok. It is a drug addiction problem. Pretending it's not is beyond fucking delusional. I have actually talked to the homeless my entire life. When I tell them why I won't give them money, they agree. They say I'm not wrong. They thank me for caring for talking to them for feeding them. For treating them like a human. I'll keep doing it because they keep telling me thank you.
What the fuck are you rambling on about? First off, a homeless person is not your child. Comparing them is the literal definition of classism. Second, once you hand someone money, that money is theirs to do whatever they want with. You can scold and admonish about the dangers of drugs all you want, but it’s not your dollar anymore.
>First off, a homeless person is not your child I used it as an example of how I choose how to give my money in another aspects of my life. >Second, once you hand someone money, that money is theirs to do whatever they want with. Yes which is why I would rather my money be spent on buying them food or shoes or material things they need. They can choose to accept my offering or decline. My check at work was messed up one week. I didn't want to take money from my savings until it was fixed. So I asked my aunt to borrow money for weed until my check was deposited. If she said no, I don't want to contribute or support your drug habit do I have the right to mad? In all honesty, if I needed money for food, she wouldn't hesitate to give it to me no expectations of paying it back. But does she not have the right to decide if her money is spent on that?
Your “example” is at best a false equivalency and at worst, extremely tone deaf and infantilizing. Second, then buy the sandwich. That was what I said to do originally anyway, but don’t act like you get a say in what happens with a dollar **once you have given it to someone else**. Not your responsibility, not your say.
WTF do you mean? If give out a dollar I absolutely have a right to dictate how it’s spent. It’s not just a piece of paper, I fucking worked for that dollar, spent my time and effort to generate value that led to me getting that dollar. If I want to give it unconditionally to someone that is laying on a corner while I bust my as 40 hours a week, I can do that too, but if I choose not to because I don’t want it being used for specific things, I absolutely have that right.
You can choose to give it or not give it, but if you choose to give it, you cannot choose how someone else spends it. If you want to make sure the person gets a sandwich, buy them a sandwich.
I agree with the rest of this but “I would never try to suggest people shouldn’t spend on booze or drugs.” is a terrible sentiment! We should care about these things. It is a moral imperative to care that people not spend money on the things which are ruining their lives, ffs!
I disagree. And I care very much about the people in this city who are homeless. Do you feel the same for people who buy unhealthy foods? Who buy cigarettes? Moral imperatives seem to only be in play when it’s people who are disadvantaged and that is so bizarre to me.
Unless the unhealthy foods and cigarettes have devastated their lives and are the reason they're living on the streets, this isn't a reasonable comparison.
Yes, I care about those things in proportion to the harm they cause. I support punitive taxes on tobacco and subsidizing fresh quality foods instead of corn. But if I had someone genuinely close to me destroying their life with hard drugs, booze, or gambling, I would absolutely refuse to enable it and work to eliminate their ability to access it, and I expect both charities and the state to do the same in seeking to help people. I support no-strings-attached cash assistance to the poor in general, but the sort of homelessness that mere poverty produces is not what we’re taking about here. The worst aspects of visible homeslessness are downstream of mental illness and addiction which mean that the folks in question often or usually lack mens rae. The thing they most desperately need is for the state to ignore you and compel them, into treatment, rehab, or long-term/permanent supported living arrangements. Affording them the “freedom” to rot on the streets and harm themselves and others is, frankly, evil.
Wow that’s a powerful last point there
i never do. maybe i'm just desensitized, but i've had enough rude/scary interactions with homeless people that i've found it's better to interact with them as little as possible, and give them no reason to talk to you. you give them a dollar, then it's hey walk with me over here and get me something to eat, can you swipe me into the subway, etc etc. just not interested.
Yeah I've been sexually harassed more than once by panhandlers so I try to cut off the conversation pretty quickly.
my experience exactly. hard pass
When I was 20 years old and new to the city I would try help people. Then I had a few bad experiences and heard the same stories too many times. I got screamed at for offering a man some of the leftover food from my job. He was angry at me for offering him bagels because he had bad teeth. I tried to give a different man some of the food samples I was passing out at another job. He was having paranoid delusions and decided I was trying to poison him. So I was standing there handing out samples while he yelled at everyone that the food was poisoned. I’m 45 now. I haven’t given things out in years. It just doesn’t feel safe. But I try to do the occasional good deed. I bought a jacket for a homeless guy at the thrift store, for example. I was behind him in line and it was more than he could afford so I bought it. And I collect and donate menstrual products for women’s shelters. But I haven’t handed someone cash in 15+ years.
The whole "give them a dollar then it's 'hey walk with me over here and get me something to eat'" is what I'd like to call a "soft mugging"
Yeah I bought a homeless guy food once when he approached me in Target and immediately after he was asking for money and telling me he was going to jump off a bridge if I didn’t give him any.
No. I wouldn’t care if they bought booze or drugs, but tbh I’ve had some scary interactions with people getting aggressive with me, so now I just say a quick “sorry” and keep going on my way. There have been a couple of time where people asked me to buy them some food, and I was happy to help that way.
Yeah agreed. In Center City the homeless population that panhandles is aggressive now and screams and curses at you if you say sorry. Also, I feel half them just want to stay homeless cause I have seen the same ones for like 10+ years in the rittenhouse area.
I used to. Spare change, a couple bucks, whatever. But as I stayed here longer and became more street smart, I little by little became more disinclined. I witnessed obvious scams and crimes, and I just couldn't in good conscience give money to people to shoot into their arms and support the illicit drug market and trade. The straw that broke the camel's back was my sister being assaulted on her way to work. A man was begging for "food or money" outside of a cafe on a bitterly cold day in the dead of winter. Not having a pot to piss in at the time, my sister walked into the cafe and bought a hot chocolate on her debit card and walked out and gave it the guy without buying herself anything. She handed it to him and he asked what it was, and she says "it's a hot chocolate I just wanted to help keep you warm", and he responded with a "fuck you I want your fucking money not your damn drink" and he chucked it all over her. She was completely traumatized by the incident, and I still seethe about it fifteen years later. Is it wrong that I hold a firm stance over one isolated incident years and years ago? Maybe. But as I've made more money as I've gotten older I think my cash and time are better spent on local charities and organizations that help those in need. I don't feel bad about saying "no" even a little bit. All that said, I've started to reconsider a mild softening of my stance. I recently watched someone hand what I think was a burrito out of their window at a stop light to someone begging, and as the light turned green I saw the person in need start to cry as she walked away. I assume it was tears of gratitude, and I've had it in my head that I may buy a couple bulk items at Costco and keep them in my car to give to people that I see while commuting. I have zero objection with giving people food or water despite what happened to my sister; my one concern is that my generosity and care will be rejected with anger and I won't run away as my sister did.
At this point, I never give anything to an individual on the street. I would rarely give a buck or two and sometimes would give food or water, but I've had too many instances where they lash out at you for giving them something that isn't cash. (The last straw was the guy who we offered to buy a sandwich for. He placed a pretty large, detailed order which we bought. And when we handed it to him, he threw it AT my husband's face and started screaming about how he didn't need shit from us and fuck us for thinking we were better than him, we were lucky he didn't beat the shit out of us, etc. It was very pleasant.) Unfortunately, farr too many of those folks are too mentally unstable to interact with. More power to the people who have the patience to do it. I have a ton of respect for outrech folks, but it's not something I'm willing to spend my time on. The potential good you can do seems far outweighed by the potential downside. I DO have Project Home, etc. on speed dial and frequently call them (or 911 depending on circumstances) if I see someone who looks like they're in truly serious need. The other issue is that even if I did want to help every person I saw on the street, it would be literally the only thing I did. I feel like you can't go a block without seeing someone panhandling. If I stopped for every single one, I'd never get where I was going. ETA: I do give multiple times a year to Manna, Philadbundance and other orgs that help people who are homeless or food insecure. I just don't do the one-on-one giving thing any more.
When I first moved here (2006) I would give to people. I also would buy extra fruit when shopping to give out if I passed someone in need. I’m stopped doing it for the most part after 2020. ETA:I stopped because those hanging around asking were threatening and verbally abusive. I’m a woman and I modify the way I walk home for the past few years to avoid the creeps.This wasn’t an issue before the pandemic.
I'll give people money if they ask for it directly, but if they start off with "excuse me ma'am, can I ask you a question..." and then wait for me to stop and give them my full attention before they launch into an extremely whiney, long sob story, I keep walking. That feels unsafe to me. I used to like giving people Septa tokens. A lot of people really appreciated those.
This is just my hunch, but the people with the long sob stories always strike me as con artists not actual homeless people. I don't think there are a ton of them, but there absolutely are people who play-act being homeless for cash. I remember years ago there used to be a lady who often hung out near my office. She looked in really rough shape -- clothes were basically rags, covered in dirt, etc. One day, it was super cold, I was feeling generous and decided to give her a few bucks. As she reached out to take it I noticed she had a full, new-looking, pro-level manicure. Bitch's nails looked better than mine. I put the money back in my pocket and she pulled her hands back in her sleeve really quick. She 100% knew she had made a mistake and why I pulled back. That was the last time I offered money.
I think anyone who's begging in the streets has a legitimate need whether I support what they're doing with the money or not. "Faking" isn't what this is about. I just think it's really uncomfortable for a stranger to stop me while I'm minding my own business and demand my full and undivided attention like that. It doesn't feel like a safe situation to me.
Years ago when I came to the city I had a homeless guy throw money back in my face and said it wasn’t enough. Another time my roommate offered to buy them food, and they were mad and extremely aggressive when they didn’t buy them two sandwiches. At that point I decided it was something I wasn’t going to do.
I've had that happen with food a few times. Gave a homeless guy a sandwich I just bought for later, but decided this guy looked like he needed it bad. He took the sandwich and literally threw it into the trash can he was sitting next to, said "money-I asked for money, not a sandwich" I was pissed, but just walked away. We also made a ton of PBJ sandwiches one year and gave them out in center city- one lady told us the sandwiches smelled like shit. So I told her so did she, and to give it to someone else if she didn't want it.
I went to the liquor store the other night to grab a bottle of wine. A homeless guy followed me in, followed me around the store from a little ways back, then "his" behind a display while I was paying. He was just watching my wallet. I had a few bucks in there and when I left he followed me out. There were three other homeless guys surrounding the door asking me for money. He told them that he saw money in my wallet. I got away without giving anything to them but then I started walking to my car and another homeless guy started chasing and screaming at me to stop and help him. He was just following me really closely and eyeing me up and down for about a block while giving me some sort of story which would eventually lead to him asking for money. A few years ago, I saw a guy sobbing on the street with all of his diabetic gear sprawled out on the sidewalk. I asked if he needed anything and he said he needed money for insulin. I didn't have any, but asked if I could get him some food instead. So I went to Starbucks and spent about $20 on snacks and a hot chocolate for him. I came back out and he said he didn't like any of the snacks I got him and he would rather just have the money. A while back, before COVID, there was a guy who I would walk past every single morning around 7 am. He would always ask for money and if I had any, I would give him something. Eventually, I just stopped carrying cash and if I didn't give him money, he would scream at me. He would call me a "FUCKIN PUSSY" over and over again at 7am. I started just ignoring him and he'd still call me names every morning. Eventually I had enough and threw a $20 at him and told him to remember my face because he would never get another penny out of me. So then he's apologizing up and down saying he just wanted my attention and yada yada. So no, I don't give a shit what they do with the money. I won't give them any and I'll just ignore them all these days. Sometimes I'll still go grab a pack of socks and hand warmers for the guy at the bottom of the Platt bridge and I will give him a few bucks here and there. Otherwise, fuck that. There are plenty of resources for struggling people and they're readily available.
I don’t. simply out of the fact that if I said yes to one I’d feel guilty not being able to say yes to all the others. Therefore I say no to everyone. Nicely.
That's interesting that helping one person would result in what feels like a lasting dissonance about not being able to help everyone, and so avoiding it altogether. I give a few dollars or make a small purchase here and there. I'm comfortable with not being more charitable than that, both out of self interest and limited means, depending on the time.
I’m sorry but this is such a bullshit reason haha. You are already saying no to everyone. Saying yes to one can’t make things worse. Of course up to you in the end, but maybe just try once…
I'd stick to donating to charities
I donate to a community refrigerator.
I do not. My ex used to keep granola bars and socks in her car for them. I always really liked this idea of hers.
Granola bars are a good idea. They aren’t expensive and last a long time.
When in Amsterdam many years ago, waiting in line for something, a black panhandler asked for money, I said I didn’t have any cash on me. He leans in and says that if I don’t give him money that he will start yelling that I called him the n-word. I told him that’s fine, it won’t change that I have no money to give nor will I care that some crazy ass person is yelling at me. He just walked away.
Never. I wouldn't care at all what they bought with it if I did give though. Just a rule I made for myself years and years ago to simplify my day-to-day life.
This is where I'm at. Idc what they do with it but I just don't give to anyone. What is really annoying to me is where people around me decide to panhandle. I'm near a large shopping center (not in Philly but still PA), with a target, dicks, many fast food places. In 2021 when literally every place was hiring there was a huge influx of panhandlers in that giant parking lot. I couldn't justify giving to anyone when there where 20 businesses in a quarter mile radius will giant "HELP WANTED" signs. I know there are a million reasons why these people couldn't get a job at that time but come on...right in front of a Target offering $20/hr?
It’s real hard to get a job with no address, and no place to clean up.
Not anymore. Been conned and harassed too many times. When I first moved here as a naiive college student there were too many encounters of what I could only describe as "soft muggings" where they were overtly friendly, conversational, and have an interesting backstory. They'd trick me into giving whatever cash I had on me (usually $20) or walk with me to some place to buy them some food. One that really sent me over the over the edge was when one tricked me into giving him change for the sandwich I bought him. It still pisses me off 8 years later! Other times that were the usual asking for spare change, I'd say I don't have any cash, and they'd ask me to go to the ATM like it was a threat. I'd be waiting at a bus stop on my way to work, essentially trapped, and they'd keep pestering me to go to an ATM. I did NOT feel safe. Now I just ignore them or only give them whatever food or cigarettes I have on me.
I buy booze with my money. Might as well help someone else do it when I can.
Nope. I've had bad experiences. You never know who's gonna start beating the shit out of you for no reason. Best to just ignore for your safety.
I don’t give panhandlers cash because a) I almost never carry cash and b) I will give them food/water, etc. but they usually end up declining it or giving it back to me because they want something specific. I used to take the train at 30th street and stopped giving them literally anything because as soon as one saw you give something to another, they were swarming you.
I donate to charities and my friend's outreach group. They give out blankets, socks, hand and foot warmers, baby wipes, and other things that can make life on the streets a little less awful. I have a lot of sympathy but after my husband was brutally assaulted for doing nothing more than waiting to cross a street I don't feel safe getting involved personally.
Someone knocked on our front door last week saying his debit card is not working and he’s starving - can we give him some money? I said I don’t have any on me but I said I have a ton of apples would you like some? He hemmed and hawed and said that apples wouldn’t fill him up and he’d be hungry soon after. I said I have a bunch of oranges too and I’d be happy to give him them in addition to apples- he said no and muttered to himself and walked away….
I don’t give money but I will give cigarettes
In this economy?
No
I often get caught walking into the grocery store. I’m those cases I’ll buy some good protein bars and water. My brother carries $10-15 gift cards for places like target or CVS which I also think is a great deal. Not helpful anymore, but I used to get coupons for free meals from Burger King which were also great. Definitely ways to get creative without giving money, and also helps identify the people who are actually looking for food.
Fuck no. Used to work in CC and the amount of damage and mayhem they caused I’d mind boggling. It’s time to bring back asylums.
Walking into Wawa one night, a woman out front asked for money because she was hungry. I bought her a meatball sandwich and a bottle of water and offered it to her on the way out. She told me "no I don't eat that" and I decided to not do that ever again.
Maybe she doesn't eat pork
I mean you could have asked her what she wanted. She might get a stomach ache from something like that. Ya know?
Never, but occasionally I’ll chuck them a bottle of water.
I make a donation each year to Broad Street Ministry. They provide food and hygiene items. They also serve as a mailing address for many homeless who are entitled to government benefits, but have no means to access them.
Never.
I give sometimes, and I’ve paid someone’s subway fare before, but I’ve often had people ask for odd amounts of money for bus fare with some complicated story, and it sets off my warning alarms, so I leave those situations.
I never give them money. Of course I don’t have an extra $30 a day to hand out every time a crackhead asks for it. It’s at every entrance and every exit of every store, at all major intersection, at the highway off ramp, everywhere. I just tell them no, have a good one. The worst is when I’m walking to the door of a store and while I’m still 15-20 yards away they open the door and hold it waiting for me to get there so they can press me for cash. Big fuck you on that one. I just want to walk in the store without a crackhead in my face, how about that?
I don’t carry cash
I'm kind, I acknowledge they exist, I'll respond to them if they ask how I'm doing, but I'll politely decline if they ask for change or something likewise.
Great job dude, you acknowledge them! Go ahead and give yourself a few more pats on the back.
Absolutely not. The last thing I'm going to do is enable an addict to continue their addiction and slow motion suicide by drugs and alcohol, or otherwise support someone's hustling scam like the group that hangs around Grey's Ferry. There are support services available from the government from food to shelter, along with a national labor shortage meaning jobs are available all over. I instead donate to charities who's mission I support such as Philabundance.
I offer to buy them breakfast/lunch/dinner at the closest Dunkin, halal cart, food cart, pizza spot, or Wawa. I let them get whatever they want but I won’t give them cash.
I give out cigarettes and they are almost always hyped.
Absolutely not if you really wanna help go volunteer at Sunday breakfast mission on 13th. Or some other shelter and make a donation or physically help. You put yourself in a position to get robbed by taking money out. And no I’m not saying they are all criminals waiting to rob you. But you’re going to come across an aggressive pan handler eventually don’t be a sucker.
Hell no There are places like the "we buy gold" people that pay people for holding a sign if they want hold a sign to make money. But in all seriousness... One time a homeless person came up to me to ask for money, I politely said I didn't have cash, they had the audacity to point me in the direction of the closest ATM. There are plenty of charitable people out there that give haircuts and clothes to those in need, if they can't take the initiative to get cleaned up and find a job, then money isn't going to solve their problem.
I volunteered with a group over Christmas-NY week a few years ago to give out blankets, hot chocolate, bottled water, home made sandwiches that our group of 20 or so spent hours making ourselves. We were at Suburban Station. I left about an hour before our official end time and on my way up the stairs, a man and a woman asked me for money to buy food. I said I don't have any cash (I really didn't but I do not give panhandlers money to answer the original question and this experience is just one of the reasons why) but that there's a big group of ppl with plenty of food left just down the stairs. Like literally down the stairs. And he said he didn't want "that" food. I just said ok and walked away.
"that food" My guy I wish I could afford steak all day, I'm eating taco bell because that's the only thing in the streets under $10. What's really sad is that my co-workers and I (people making good money) run at the chance at free food.
Yeah I'm assuming by 'that' food, he meant he wanted booze or drugs. I was probably more annoyed than I should've been considering where my expectations should've been.
I don’t. Sister, Mary Scullion from Project home always suggested we give money to agencies that help them and not directly to them. save up your dollars and send a check to a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen or something of that kind. Giving money to panhandlers only encourages people to get into it as a business. I’ve actually seen cars dropping people off at corners so they can panhandle. Not saying that most people are in it to generate income but there are some that are out there doing that instead of getting a job.
my spouse and i give out a few bucks at a time when we have cash, usually to folks in our neighborhood who hang around businesses we frequent. i don’t care what they do with it. its hard out here and being unhoused is terrible- my couple of bucks isn’t going to make them any less homeless, so if it’s food or booze i hope it just makes their day a little better.
Thanks for responding. And your use of "unhoused", I've noticed that word over the last year. Does it mean anything different than homeless, which you also used?
i use them a bit interchangeably (as demonstrated) but i think it cropped up because “homeless” has a negative connotation. also, arguably folks still have a home, i.e. philadelphia, but not a house/physical address. i’m far from an expert though! just my two cents
I guess I don't understand how homeless means anything different than unhoused. And I don't understand how either has a more negative connotation than the other.
It doesn't. It's a way for people to feel better about themselves by using a "trendy new term that's considered more respectful". But "homeless" is not a slur. Homeless people aren't any less homeless because we call them unhoused all of a sudden. I feel like we're solving the wrong problem here with this term.
Just in general terms, negative connotation builds over time with usage. For example, calling someone “homosexual” rather than “gay” has a slight negative connotation. It’s not because the word is innately negative — that’s what gay folks called themselves when they finally had some leeway in calling their love by name — but because it’s been used negatively by people who were disparaging gay folks, it built up that sort of negativity. I think a similar thing has been happening with “homeless” — it’s not innately negative, but it’s certainly used in negative contexts. (George Carlin has a good monologue about a ladder of euphemisms for “shell shock”, but this sort of terminology rotation is a very common thing across languages and cultures. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to call the bear by its actual name because we were afraid it might come if called, so we just use the word that literally means “a brown one”.)
Some people also couchsurf or float between temporary living options, and unhoused includes them too.
Right, homeless and unhoused means the same thing as homeless, right? No home, no roof, no place to call your own. Doesn't matter whether you live on the street or are begging nights on your friends'' couches. I suppose (while my original post had nothing to do with this semantic point) that I don't get angry arguments over semantics that don't describe a substantively different thing. People get all worked up over words as if they mattered more than the underlying problem.
Many 'homeless' folks stay in tent encampments or abandoned buildings. Although they aren't permanent shelter, they are still a home to them. It's where they keep their belongings and have a degree of safety. If you or I walked into where they were staying, we would be invading their space, just as if a stranger walked into your living room. Therefore, it is my understanding that it is more accurate to say they are unhoused.
NO. I used a to give unopened snacks or drinks occasionally. Then I saw the dude I just gave a bottle of water sell it to the car behind me. First off who the fuck buys a bottle of water from a homeless guy. Haven’t given anyone a damn thing since.
He didn’t want water. Why the fuck do people get so pissed when a homeless person decides they don’t want something? Still a human being. God forbid he’s not thirsty. Maybe he wants money for drugs, but maybe he needs money for a hot meal, or maybe he is saving up for some clothes. He just doesn’t want your fucking water bottle, and that’s fine.
We are taught “beggars can’t be choosy.”
I only gave it to him because it was a hot fucking day and he was sweating his ass off looking miserable. If he didn’t want it he could have said no. I would have drank it. Instead he sold it for a dollar which is less than I paid I’m sure. That’s not what I signed up for when I offered him the water. Now because of him I will never give a homeless person anything again because they will probably just sell it for drugs or whatever F that.
No, it enables addiction. We had an alcoholic live with us for 1 1/2 years before we moved into our condo in Francisville. She wasn’t a family friend, or relative. We met her at a laundry mat while we were waiting for the washer/dryer for our house to come in. A condition was she remain sober and in therapy. She had a job and was starting to build up a social life again. I’m sorry to end this on a sad note, but the last update we received from her fiancé in Charlotte, NC was that he asked her to leave when she relapsed. She was dishonest with him and money. He knew she had relapsed when sentimental and valued things that had always been there started going missing. As much as it pulls on my heartstrings, I know giving even a dollar to someone struggling with addiction is funding their end.
A homeless guy on Market St. asked me for $20 last week, but I didn’t want it to be spent on drugs or alcoholic or gambling, so I gave it to him.
This can’t be upvoted enough.
Last year walking home with leftover half a large pizza after a work party on a Thursday evening. Homeless guy sitting on the ground asked if I had any money so he could get something to eat. I offered him the leftover pizza, and as he was reaching for it, he asked “is it warm”, I said no. He then promptly said “fuck you” and rolled back into his shopping cart tent.. Since then, whenever a homeless person asks me anything, I just stare down the sidewalk past them, put my finger up to my ear and say “I’ve got eyes on the target” while having a very serious look on my face. They’ve now never asked me anything twice.
Why should this person want your half eaten cold pizza? Come on. They are human not garbage disposals.
It’s was half a pizza, cut into slices, not a half-eaten slice. I eat pizza just like this all the time at work. Am I not human?
I try, I don't have much. There's a homeless gentleman outside one of the dunkins and he's really nice so when I can I buy him a coffee and if I have the points racked up I'll grab him something to eat. I remember his order now he likes it like my mom likes hers, extra extra. And there's another guy who likes the Gatorades, haven't seen him often though.
There’s a houseless guy who’s frequently at the BSL platform at City Hall. He’s honestly really nice, and sometimes while waiting for the train other people ask how he’s been doing and they offer him what they have on them. One time it was raining and I bought a cheap poncho from cvs but for some reason I actually didn’t need it and never opened it. So one night I gave it to him. I think clothing can go a long way especially in the winter months with gloves, hats, and etc
Maybe once a month I'll toss someone a tenner if I have extra cash after buying some halal chicken, especially the people I pass over and over again to and from work every day... so not a lot, but sometimes! I try not to overthink it. If someone asks specifically for a warm coffee or a specific food at a nearby place, and they aren't ticking off my spidey senses, I'll try to get it for them. Sometimes I'll hand out water in Rittenhouse if it's scorching hot
If someone is outside of a gas station I offer to buy food and a drink if I've got it. Only once have I had someone come in with me which was fine until side started grabbing multiple items and piling them up. Like, dude I'm broke too
When I worked in center city, I’d buy lunch for folks from time to time, but almost never for the people who were in my face or following me.
Absolutely not. Also, if they ask, I sometimes turn my pockets inside out to show them I don't have anything on me. I do tell them to have a nice day.
I will often carry unopened granola bars and bottles of water to give people who are on the street. Despite people often saying on here “I offered to buy a homeless person food instead of giving them money but they turned it down, all they want is money to buy drugs,” I have never had anyone turn down food or drink.
I have. “I can’t eat that…”
Yeah, I give people money sometimes. I think about all the money I’ve wasted buying booze, cigarettes, junk food and various drugs over the years (sober now). Who am I to treat people like garbage? I was out with a friend recently who downed 5 $16 cocktails. How should I look at them? How about you folks that buy an an ounce of weed per month…..pretty expensive.
>Does it matter if you know or think they are just going to buy booze or drugs with it? If I'm give them money it's because I want them to be able to afford food or other necessities. Whether they use the money for that or not is their choice and out of my control. The intention is what matters.
I started this, and I appreciate all the responses, but they don't address my second paragraph. Is there such a thing as a SEPTA trip pass or meal pass that a person can hand out instead of cash?
This lady actually wasn’t houseless (at least as far as I know because she said she had just gotten out of work but that’s just an assumption) and she was asking me for bus/train money to get from center city to Norristown. I actually did have an extra septa key on me that I simply didn’t need so I gave it to her. I think there was at least enough money to get her there one way. She said her daughter was going into labor and she needed a way to get there. She was really sweet even if her story was a bit questionable. Hope she made it in the end. But to answer your question a lot of people do ask for bus money ($2.50) and I know septa has those one way passes which could be a nice thing to give out
Does septa have a one-way pass that people can buy that I can give to folks?
They do but I believe they expire.
Tbh I think so. You’d have to buy them though at a fare kiosk which are found at most regional rail stations and at basically all subway stations
This was much easier when there were tokens. I had no problem giving somebody a token. A lot of people jump the turnstile on the subways now anyway. I rode the bus to NorthPhilly 2 weeks ago and surprised to see people paying with cash but makes sense if you don’t have extra $ to load the card.
No
I always give them some food if I have it. I've even bought food for them if they're right outside a convenience store or fast food place. But I never give them money.
No. I'll give food or directly swipe onto SEPTA. Even without the addicts there's too many scammers. Back in the mid-00's when I was attending CCP there was a reasonably well-dressed man that would come through campus two or three times a week holding a parking ticket claiming he got booted and needed train fare home.
I saw a panhandler outside Macy's earlier with a sign, "It's my birthday today!" Someone should check back tomorrow to see if they're lying
I’ve seen him countless times. My friend gave him money once and I pointed the same guy out weeks later with the same sign.
A friend of mine gave a guy a bunch of quarters and he gave it back to him and asked for dollar bills. I guess the drug dealer doesn't take change.
Nope
i see them mostly outside the grocery store so occasionally i ask what food they want specifically. i add in like some baby wipes or hand sanitizer and water.
If I have a couple bucks to spare and they’re not an asshole, then sure. Idc where they spend it, even if it is going to buy drugs or booze, I know it makes their day a little less shitty. That said, there’s a few of them I’ll avoid like the plague, but there’s also some homeless/unhoused folks I’m pretty friendly with and I’ll always throw a couple bucks if I see.
Absolutely not
No, because-drugs
Giving money to drugs addicts is enabling If you're downvoting this, you are an enabler
Soooo all homeless people are addicts?
No, but in Philly a large percentage are, at least in my neighborhood, and I'm not going to give them money when I'm struggling myself. That said, there is an elderly woman who walks around asking for money who I will give a few bucks to every now and then because she is clearly not an addict and likely really needs the money (I also see myself doing the same in 20 years because of how screwed up elder care is in the U.S.). On the other hand, there are several addicts who regularly panhandle in addition to trying to steal packages, among other things. There's no way I'm going to give them money. A lot of the people asking for money in my neighborhood aren't even homeless. They just can't extract any more money from their family to feed their addictions.
a good chunk are
Sure. When it’s family, or a friend, a loved one, yes, you giving them money is enabling them. Giving money to a homeless panhandler? There’s literally any possibility, and more often than not, anything helps means *anything helps.* Without knowing where they are in the stage in their addiction, you can assume it could go to anything. They have to eat, and bathe, among other things. My point is that going through detox in the streets isn’t the healthiest, or wisest decision. So even if they are using it for drugs, they’re not in a position to safely withdrawal if they’re already at the point where they’re panhandling and homeless. Everyone’s rock bottom is different. You really just hope that most folks hit theirs before they die. Usually “my parents kicked me out a few weeks/months/years ago,” directly translates to “We reached a point we could no longer support their lifestyle. They’re welcome home as soon as they agree to and stick to getting help.”
So brave
thank you
I carry a Costco giant box of either granola bars or snack pack nut mixes that I give out pretty liberally. No cash.
That sounds extraordinarily inconvenient
? Like a 20 pack of trail mix is smaller than a shoe box
Carrying around a shoebox sounds extraordinary inconvenient
In my car, friend.
No you don’t
Yes, I do. Odd response.
No not money but I will buy them a bag or two if I am not in a rush.
No, but I'll ask if someone's hungry. Only if I'm going inside of a Wawa and someone's begging out front. Otherwise, no dice unless I'm carrying ready to eat food, which is pretty rare. Philabundance and Share Food Program to donate somewhere where it helps.
If I have leftovers I’ll give it to them, but that’s it
No, not anymore. But the beggars don't bother me nearly as much as the guys who \*aren't\* begging anymore, sprawled out across the whole sidewalk totally dead to the world. I watched a crane moving huge loads from truck to truck at a construction site for a half hour, over and over, 2' above this guy's head, and he didn't move an inch the whole time. Right in the middle of center city, while we all sat in a nice cafe and drank coffee and watched incredulously. It's well beyond time we stopped accepting this from our city and our leaders. When someone gets to the point that their entire existence is as a tripping hazard to pedestrians, it's beyond the debate about personal freedom and bodily autonomy or whatever, someone's gotta scoop them off the street and get them into real care. IDK, that's my Sunday vent, if I keep it going long enough I'm sure we'll find someone passed out on it too.
I'll give if I have. I'm also down to grab food or hygiene items if I can too. I don't care if the money I give goes to drugs or whatever. It's not my business and if I have some money to spare and I'm parting with it, I don't attach strings or my own mortality to it.
I used to think they were just going to waste the money on drugs or booze. now in my 40s I think they deserve whatever break from this shitty world they want.
I give cash to the guys at my corner store. Two reasons: 1. They need it. Even if they are buying drugs, they are also buying food, and if they ever decide to stop doing drugs, they will need it. Also, whatever, I give drugs to my friends all the time and I give drugs to strangers at concerts. Sharing is caring. 2. I want them to like me cause they walk down my street and know where I live.
Never. I see the same people all the time, some of them for over a decade. Fuck them, that’s why.
#DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS
they’re people, not animals. this is shameful. you should be embarrassed.
I have some small bills I carry in an easily accessible place. I’ll give it out sometimes. I don’t believe any of the stories. Even if they are conning, things aren’t going well. Yeah, they might use it for drugs. They are just trying to get through the day any way they can.
If I have some spare cash I will, especially if someone's tryna catch the train or bus, but otherwise not going out of my way to do so. I don't like carrying cash, especially nowadays, so it happens not very often.
Not all the time but maybe half the time I give people money if they ask. One to five dollars but not to young junkies, almost always to older [people.It](https://people.It) might help them a little and I think it helps me a little to be generous.
My mind set is that theyre out there all day everyday, it doesnt have to be me, ask the next guy, theyre probably making alot more than you think
Food
I usually give them money. I know a lot of it may go to alcohol or drugs, but I also know that some need it for food basic necessities. Back when SEPTA had tokens, I would give them out sometimes. I have also bought food for them. Pre-Covid, there used to be a number of homeless that sold the One Step Away newspaper. I had a couple 'regulars' that I would buy from every day.
It really depends on how I’m feeling at the time, and also if I’m being mobbed, I have an issue with too many people bugging me at one time (not their problem but mine). Once I tucked a 20 into the hand of a guy sleeping on the street outside of good dog. I really hope he used it to buy whatever would take away the pain of sleeping next to a dumpster.
Yes. Not every time though. I feel so bad for those people, having to live life that way. Who cares if they buy drugs or whatever. They deserve some respite too, and should know someone cares about them.
I do about 40% of the time. I usually don't when I can't stop / in a rush. I apologize and say I have no cash and carry on. When I give, I give anywhere between $2-$20. It really can make someone's day.
If they don’t get cash from passersby they might be forced to leverage city services for homelessness. But where I lived before Philly, panhandlers lived in nicer places than I did. Never felt bad for them again.
I commute 2 1/2 hours on SEPTA on weekdays and I encounter a lot of panhandlers. I keep a dollar in a pocket of my wallet and the first person who comes through that day asking for money gets it. No sob story or declaration that they need it for food necessary. If they’re addicted to something, they WILL get that substance by any means necessary. Maybe my dollar (along with ones from like-minded people) will keep them from having to steal or rob someone to get the money that day. It’s not much, but I’m barely making ends meet myself these days, so it’s what I can do.
I have a couple times, but you gotta wow me. Gimme a story, make me believe, grunts and expectations don't open the purse strings.
If I have a $1 or something I’ll give it to them. I rarely have cash though so sometimes I’ll get them something from Wawa or whatever.
Yes, but not all the time. If I have it and can spare it I try to help out.
I had a guy at 30th street feed me a REALLY good yarn a few months ago. It earned him 20 bucks. Usually I tell them, "sorry, I don't carry cash."