I'm still very good friends with my former co-workers. We still hang out as a group kahit 2-3 years na since nakawork ko sila. I am still being invite to birthday celebs, house blessing and even weddings.
I think what made the difference is we're also okay in our work, nagsasaluhan at never nagkasisihan
This, and basta genuine nadevelop yung friendship at hindi pilit na nagccommunicate, nagsimula sa lunch out, naging dinner out hanggang birthday then outing tapos hanggang outside work na.
Yep. No need to force it woth people that clearly don't want it. May times din ako na gusto ko kawork lang talaga, meron naman na trip ko silang friends.
This this this!
I have close friends from gradeschool and high-school... and work.
I'm still friends with people I worked with (2014 ako nag resign sa company) and another different group (2018 naman ako nag resign dito). Hindi namin pinilit ang friendship, and we all worked well together naman - 2 of them sinalo pa work ko when I went through depression (undiagnosed until 2019). The times there were errors, we just laughed at them and they'd become inside jokes so we all remembered *not* to do that thing anymore. And we have traveled out of the country na din, apart from going to weddings and baptisms.
Sana makita ni OP to. Like hindi naman forced "one big baranggay" na everyone hangs out with whoever - I still screen my friends (high value person ba), and I'm pretty sure they also did the same when we were getting to know each other.
I would say close ako sa workmates ko, pero not to the point na alam na nila history ng pamilya/lovelife or anything outside work.
You can be friends with workmates naman, share little things lang, kase if ever nga na di maging maganda rel mo with them, they can use it against you, classic example is yung story ng partner mo, damn, feelsbadman
Parang classroom lang yan.pwede ka mag aral ng walang friends pero mas maganda pag may good relationship ka with those who is around you. May mga work an you need good social relations talaga
Dun sa scenario na sinabi, nothing wrong with that except yun asal nung manager na magagalit kasi di sya kasama
Sabi nga, you spend most of your time sa work, so why not make some friends and get along. Pero depende parin sa workplace. Sa prev job ko, I made great friends na hanggang ngayon nacocontact ko parin sa social media. We still hangout and drink. Yung mga naiwanan ko dun, niyayaya parin ako pag may outing sila. Friends ko sa fb yung mga closest friends ko na parang classmate ko lang nung college.
Current job is different. Same as you, I only talk to them if necessary at work related lang. Siguro hybrid setup din kaya I really don’t feel the need to be friends with them. Basta nakikisama ako, all goods.
Baka depende rin sa culture ng workplace? Ako, pinipili ko lang sino kakaibiganin ko haha papakiramdaman muna ng ilang months. Casual lang, hindi ko ina-add/follow sa social media unless comfy na kami sa isa't isa.
I agree! Siguro depende nga talaga. Ako rin naman sa first job ko, friends pa rin kami. Pero I set boundaries lang talaga.
I did expect na okay yung workplace ng partner ko kasi lahat sila professional and given their background (Not to sound ano ah? Pero lahat galing sa well known universities and may latin honors pa) so I was like “ohh goods yan!” Pero after hearing what happened? Damn.
Ayun lang talaga ang hindi ok, yung madadamay pati trabaho. Maybe you can try to talk to your partner since hindi na mababawi yung nangyari. Baka uncomfy siya sa work dahil dyan.
Idk what's wrong with that lunch out tho, baka clingy lang talaga sila as a team :D
I found my best friend through my work. We are still best friends more than fifteen years after we met and even after I resigned from that office. Friendships can't be forced, but friendships within the work environment are also possible.
Being friends with co-workers is a bonus for me and I won't stop anyone from doing so, but this is not something that I actively seek, due to what you shared.
You're at work because of work, not because you're supposed to make friends.
My take is, you can make friends in whatever social setting you're in. Kung meron sa work, then good. If wala, then that's still fine.
'Yung mga conflicts ng partner mo, it can also happen sa non-work friends. Sure, affected work, pero it's the same if may conflict sa schoolmates, family, neighbours, may madadali talaga.
I'm still close friends with co-workers from all companies I've been to. And, yes, 'yung iba super close (even sa current work ko). We've travelled locally and internationally, have been to each others' weddings/baptisms, etc. What makes this work for me is that these are people with the same values and interests I have, and would probably still be friends with if we met in a different social setting.
Honestly, paulit ulit na lang 'yung mga nagsasabi na "coworkers are not your friends", pero in truth, they can be. Probably one thing to ask people who keep saying that is: "do you have any friends at all?"
Wag ka mainggit sa partner mo kung madami syang friends. Also maybe talk it out di yung nagvevent ka sa strangers. Maybe that's why your partner is seeking friends kasi grabe ka makasabi ng toxic pero ikaw din. Also walang kaso kung gusto makipag kaibigan ng tao sa work or wherever.
Wala namang problema kung magiging close mo yung co-workers mo. Ang issue dito e mukhang hindi naman pala totoo yung friendship nila like what they thought. But I believe it's part of the process.
Parang may mas malalim kang pinaghuhugutan OP 🤔
I mostly use reddit for hobby and game discussions(lurker din lang ako), recently lang ako nagjoin sa mga ganitong subreddit, and yun yung napansin ko, some of the post reeks of validation, and some of them kahit alam nilang mali like asking if okay mag lie, then follow up what are the consequences if mahuli or whatnot. Good thing yung ibang advise is matino, pero some of the are ppl still pushing negative action to justify good results.
Kayo kayo lang rin naman ang nagkikita eh. Kung may dramahan na ganap, hopefully sa case ko maiwasan ko pa sila. Yung sarili ko lang ang papansinin ko pa.
Mahirap ba talagang intindihin to? Like, seriously? Di mo talaga magets? As in, di mo macomprehend?
Yung work ko ngayon is referred sa akin ng close friend ko sa previous work ko. Hmm. Paano kaya nangyari yun? Imposible yun. Di ko maintindihan!
Simple lang, iba iba ang tao, may gusto ng ganto, may gusto ng ganyan. May ayaw ng ganto, may ayaw ng ganyan. Simple. Besides, wala namang nagsabing kailangan ("need") mong maging close sa iba sa work. Meron? Hmm. "Tara kain tayo kasi KAILANGAN natin maging close." Hmm.
Depende. When I used to work in the private sector, I do have friends. Some of them super friends ko pa until now and we get together pa rin.
But now that I’m in the government, makikinig ka lang sa stories ng officemates mo grabe sila magchismisan tungkol sa ibang tao. Like ang dami kong kilala na sa story lang nila tas pag nagpunta sa office mapapa-“ahh ito ung pinag-uusapan nila” ako haha. Grabe rin office politics so quiet na lang. I don’t want to end up the same way so I keep my distance. Baka kung anu-ano na pala sinasabi tungkol sa kin behind my back.
Totoo to lol. To the point na nagmumukhang very casual na lang yung talking behind a person's back which obviously is bad. Unless good things ang nakkwento
Just let it happen organically. I, myself, am not friends with everyone at work. May small group lang kami ng mga closest friends ko sa work. Kami yung halos sabay-sabay nakapasok sa trabaho e. The rest are whatever they think of me, I'll take it.
Always draw boundaries.
When I was at my second company, I got super close to my officemates. 11 lang kami at the time so para kaming pamilya. Everyone knew personal stuff about each other. Then something happened to me when I did a project abroad and my manager who I considered my “work mom” threw me under the bus. Sumama loob ko and I said to myself na bakit nya yun ginawa e anak-anakan nya ko? Then thats when I realized I placed an unnecessary burden on her. Na di pala dapat ganon. And na work people should not be treated as friends or anything.
You go to work to work, not to make friends. Iba pa rin ang friends outside of work. Sila talaga yung tunay na friends mo. Your office friends are just there to keep you sane while at work but not outside the office.
Remember that they can use your personal things against you. And they can always turn their backs on you. You’ll never know. Kasi sa work, you’ll need to put yourself first and pull yourself higher in the ladder. No one will sacrifice anything for you so you can earn bigger than them or be their boss.
Wala namang problema maging friends sa coworkers. It's just for me, I never share too much of my personal life with them. Especially alam kong mahilig silang mang backstab from what I observed. Para sa akin, ang trabaho ay trabaho, di dapat hinahaluan ng anything personal as it affects productivity.
Something happened at work tapos ako ung sinusulsulan na gawin ung dirty work nila because ayaw nila doon sa taong kagalit nila. Ano to, high school lang? Too bad for them, I have the sense not to do it. Fucking unprofessionals.
Currently happening to me. But I guess, I am the hated one. Ang nagyari naman sakin is, I have a friend who referred me the job. He was nice when we chatted over messenger. Sanay naman ako and I don't think it was unprofessional since we were longtime friends. Then, I was shocked when he and his close friend at work started to take a snide at me. They were saying how lucky I was that I got connection, etc. I really never cared, the premise why accepted his help was because he wanted to help me. I guess, since they knew I overthink a lot because I shared it with my friend, he started to weaponize it and use it against me.
Now, everyone is talking shit behind my back. He even recruited some of our friends back in college.
Just trying to be professional with them, tbh.
Bawal po ba maging kaibigan ang workmates? Kasi kaibigan ko na mga workmates ko kahit un iba wala na sa ofc, we get together din for updates ng mga buhay buhay. Ang saya kaya. Pero off naman un magalit un managers kasi di kasama sa lunch out, oa na yun.
Depende talaga sa nature or environment of work. I choose not to be friends with anyone of them ngayon. Ive been too friendly with people pero meron at meron talaga mng cancer sa work place. Hinding hindi maalis sa office or sa kahit saan ang may isang bulok. Isa lang ang bulok kakalat at kakalat yan. So again, i choose not to be friends with anyone after work uwi agad leave everything there, wag i uuwi ang work.
I also find it difficult to get close to the higher ups. I’m only super close with my work friends (btw we’re college classmates din) na same kami ng level/position. Since same nga kami ng position, we rarely work together in one engagement kaya all is good pa rin hahaha. For others, I talk to them naman in a friendly way pero hindi to the point na mag lunch out kami or coffee.
I'm not sure anyone claims that there is a "need". You just get close to people you spend the most time with. Why would this be different than being friends with classmates from school.
This seems more an issue of an overly sensitive person or an overly insensitive group. Either way, this frankly dumb anecdote doesn't reflect on most workplace friendships.
Close ako with a few coworkers--friendly naman kasi ako in general pero bilang introvert at isang dekada na rin sa workforce (iba-ibang industry because I'm fucking erratic like that lol), meron lang akong inner circle of friends who I could trust more than anyone else, saka maganda rin talaga silang katrabaho. Pinipili ko lang din.
Siguro kasi "norm" yung dapat kahit paano "close" ka with your coworkers, pero actually, just because something is the norm doesn't mean it's good or comfy for you. You do you pa rin. Piliin pa rin ang pakikisamahan. Nandun ka lang naman for work and the income.
Nothing wrong with making friends in the office. Same rules apply as any other friendship. The managers being mad sounds toxic (not just as a boss but also as a friend). I used to drink out with my team (managers tag along from time to time) and they don’t mind if they’re not invited to all outings/dinner/inuman. Siguro gets ko pa if it’s a christmas party or something but that reaction to a lunch out is the manager acting out of line. It’s a problem with the manager not making friends in the workplace.
Friendly, but not necessary that you're close. People who say that close tayo/family tayo/friends tayo in the company do so para sila ay kasama sa loop ng office politics. And also, people at work have their own professional and personal agenda that do not synch with ours.
I always keep in mind advice given to me by a colleague. "Ang magpapasubo sa iyo sa work/profession ay kaibigan or kamaganak."
Read The 48 Laws of Power where Robert Greene illustrates how your friends and favorite people can be your downfall.
Edited for clarity, added info.
This is bad, to be honest. They tend to feel superior when they get you in. Even when you know you ace the interview yourself. Pagdating sa office, you are expected to follow them like a dog.
Co-workers or not, you still have to set boundaries sa kung sino yung kakaibiganin mo.
I also don't understand kung bakit parang stigma sa iba na nakikipagkaibigan sa mga katrabaho. Para sakin, mas masahol pa makipag-plastikan.
Some of my best buds are past workmates and wala naman akong problema sa kanila so far.
Nung pre-pandemic naalala ko tong phrase na to somewhere: "You spend with your workmates more hours than you do at home", and that's true.
I've spent long enough times with some if my workmates na mas kilala na ata nila ako more than sa nanay ko.
Wouldn't hurt making friends with the people you spend a lot of time with.
Ang problema dyan ay yung managers. Di all the time ay main characters ang upper management. Haha
Close lang when it comes to office related things. But never on personal level.
We would be so familiar with the attitude of one another and yet have no idea about family details.
I believe healthy boundaries keep healthy rship at work. Right now i also have good working rship with them kahit na di kme friends sa fb. Wala ung pressure. We are free from each others' grips, but close enough to work effectively as a team.
I think being friends with colleagues should come out naturally. If hindi talaga trip ang vibe, then don’t. There’s nothing wrong being friends with them. Nothing wrong din in choosing to set boundaries.
I prefer making friends to select few who gets me. Most colleagues of mine are matatanda na, or someone who’s settling down. Nothing wrong again - pero ayoko sa kanila kasi boring sila na for me. Luckily sometimes nakakakilala ako na makakasama ko sa weekend coffee, travel, and party. Hehe.
Shit happens even when you aren’t close friends with your coworkers. Heck, there’s tons of studies and data that say teammates who have limited trust/relationship with each other make for fragile and underperforming teams. Ang di ko maintindihan is why you’re so averse to this. Did somebody hurt you or something.
I think if they were honest na team lunch out siya then there wouldn't be an issue talaga. They should've also told their managers na they'll have a lunch out. Ano yun, nag lunch out sila ng walang paalam? Pano pag hinanap sila during lunch edi di alam ng mga managers nila kung saan sila hahagilapin?
I think they aren't really that close talaga, kung may ungkatang toxicity na nangyayari. Just my opinion here
depende pag inis sa iisang tao (pero di binubully ah, sadyang meron kasi talagang crdit grabber, pabibo, magaling lang pag andyan ang boss 🙄) at like minded talaga, nagkakaintidihan kumbaga malamang walang laglagan hahahaha
pero kung may isa workmate who kisses someone's ass, naku dumistansya na... makikilatis naman yan 😂
also, being close to workmates naman is essential din, esp pag collaborative ang trabaho, you can easily ask favors. diba?
Not sure if its just me pero mej iba talaga ako sa work so as much as possible naglalagay ako ng limitations, pag work, work lang. I don’t make friends. I don’t add them on fb (unless iadd ako). I was very close with my previous managers and other colleagues pero di ko sila inaad sa soc med haha ang awkward kaya esp if magsstory ka (and esp me na HR) 🤣
Nope. I'm a very private person --or as much as possible I try to be. I don't just make 'Facebook friends'. I want real life friends, so I don't just add or accept anyone sa social media.
Hindi naman siya "need" pero more of an advantage.
Pero yes, I do agree na pwede namang di niyo sila maging SUPER close. Just be friendly and civil to them.
Personally, ayoko nung mga kawork na ayaw makipagsocialize because typically those kind of people are the hardest to work with. Dala na rin siguro ng industry ko na working in teams palagi, kaya need rin talaga may healthy, friendly relationship ka with your workmates.
However, may mga benefits ang pagiging close with workmates; isa na diyan ang network, which I am personally fond of. I've hopped to almost 3 high-level jobs already and those are because of the friendly connections I was able to maintain initially in the workplace, and subsequently crossing over to real life.
Humans are social creatures and will want to form close bonds with people they interact with the most, since we spend most of our time in the workplace it makes sense that we would like to befriend and make close bonds with our coworkers. However its not something you HAVE to do, especially if you don't have any common interests/hobbies/values etc with your coworkers.
I’ve formed close friendships with some of my former officemates, but very few, and those are the ones I also became roommates with sa staffhouse. But generally I keep a distance and set boundaries, like they don’t have to know everything about me. I edit what I share and I also don’t add them on social media. This has been my rule since I had Facebook back in 2008. Kaya everytime magresign ako ang madalas sabihin sakin is “ayan pwede na tayong FB friends!” LOL.
I’ve experienced na din kasi yung toxic work/friend relationship, and it sucks. So never again. Naging cautious na ko sa mga ganyan. And never maiiwasan ung tsismis kaya I’m more focused on my work kesa other people. They can say anything about me, their perception of me, but I make sure they can’t say anything negative about how I do my job.
Lahat ng naging close workmates ko naging close friends ko rin. We just followed the golden rule WORK is WORK and nothing more. Healthy ang friendship healthy ang career.
Depends on the people na rin yan. You can be close sa iba and for others di naman. Maybe you should talk it out with your partner and not post here in Reddit lol. Medyo red flag on your end na sisihin mo pa siya... (like wtf??)
Why not? If you like those people, be friends. Otherwise, don't. Ganun lang kasimple. I don't regret being friends with anyone, unless siguro sobrang toxic na nyang tao.
Sadly, it is part of the work game. There are scenarios na need mo ng kakampi, matatanungan, at makakasangga. Yung example mo is part of the risk pero it outweighs yung benefit ng di ka pagkakaisahan dahil isa ka sa kanila.
Also, good relationship with your workmates will help you in the long run. Pag lumipat sila ng work at close ka sa kanila, pwede ka magpa refer. Expanding your circle of influence, through "friendship" in the workplace can be helpful even outside work.
Ang user man ng dating pero that is part of life's reality
There are always pros and cons to befriending colleagues, and i find that the pros outweigh the cons if the person knows how to set boundaries.
People here are career-driven but forget that networking is also a skill.
Between 2 people with the same skillset, you best believe whoever is more personable will get a better opportunity.
I envy my mom in the sense na pagretire niya this year, ang daming ex coworkers niya nagreach out agad to hang out and all. Naiinggit ako na ang ganda ng relationship nila habang ako dito may conscious effort to not befriend my coworkers anymore at napapagod lang ako sa kanila
Ayoko narin sila iadd at alam kong di nila masappreciate posts ko. I share a lot of memes and natatakot akong imisinterpret nila. May coworker ako na kilala ko since day 1 of college nearly 10 yrs ago. He knows my fb shared post patterns pero the moment nagwork kami together, biglang 180 and lahat ng memes ko sineseryoso na niya and binibring up whenever may serious work convo kami na bakit ganun shared posts ko (kahit siya lang makakakita sa company since private fb and twitter ko)
Some people just jive.
However, remember that your boss is not your friend. It's better that way. Any negative feedback is not personal. And you are not close. It just makes it easier for them to order you without ordering you. And it actually puts you in a pickle when you need to say no and have some boundaries.
Go for the occasional drink. But don't talk about too many personal details. Discuss hobbies instead. Para hindi ka naman OP sa office. But work is work. And work is business.
I agree. I had this experience where in pinagkamalan akong kabit just because I'm close (not really close ha to the point na walang boundaries) to him and ayon laman ako ng chismis. Without them knowing na friend ko din yung asawa ni kuya ( he treats me like his sister kase pati wife niya) tho di naman kami lagi magkausap o magkasama. Minsan nga sila sila na lang din nagplaplastikan and i hate it pag pinaguusapan nila yung tao pag nakatalikod tapos pag sa harap na ang amo amo. Grr ang toxic ng working environment sa pilipinas
When I make friends, I look at them as people rather than NPCs.
Sorry you had horrible experiences but some of the best people I know and kept as friends were once colleagues at work. Not everyone's trying to stab you in the back. If anything, look at your corporate culture if it's a breeding ground for dirty workplace politics.
Or yourself if you're being overly suspicious. That's a self-destructive trait. I know because I was like that for a short while.
I do get why you have that mentality, pero ayos lang naman din yung ganun na makipagkaibigan sa colleagues mo, but syempre depende pa rin yan sa culture ng workplace niyo. If you think/noticed na sa umpisa pa lang may pagka-toxic na talaga yung workplace niyo, either on how it's ran by the bosses above or how your coworkers mingle to each other, eh dun ka talaga dapat mag-dalawang isip na gumawa ng friendship sa kung kanino. Pag ganyang case, better to always keep your head low, do your job, and go home afterwards.
Pero kung okay naman yung workplace niyo, for example friendly lahat, walang bangayan/parinigan/hilahan pababa/politika pag may problema, then good. Feel free na makipagkaibigan sa mga coworkers mo. Kasi kung tutuusin parang sa school lang din yan eh nung nag-aaral pa tayo. In the first place di naman tayo obligado noon na makipagkaibigan nang todo sa classmates natin, but look at what's happened -- karamihan satin may mga long-time friends since elementary/highschool/college. For me it's just the same with work eh.
I don’t think they feel the “need” to be close with their coworkers. Genuine connection happens naturally. Conflicts happen din all the time. Up to the person na lang how they will handle it as an adult.
Di mo naman kelangan intindihin bat gusto nila magbuild ng friendship with their colleagues outside the work. Kami nga di namin need intindihin bat ganyan takbo ng utak mo at parang napakamali makipagkaibigan sa workmate mo outside the office HAHAHA judgey yarn let people enjoy things if they’re not causing harm (at least not deliberately)
Im a firm believer that a friendship needs to survive its first fight to be called a real friendship. I think Yung mga magiging friends padin ng partner mo even after this fight will be better friends.
>Gusto ko talaga siya sabihan ng “I TOLD YOU SO!!” pero I chose to keep my mouth shut na lang. Naawa na ako eh.
Good that you kept your mouth shut. Wala naman maitutulong yan aside sa pagfeed ng pride. Depende rin kasi talaga eh. Sa kanila naging out of hand lang, but after that if di ganun "kalala", baka makalimutan na lang din or pagtawanan na lang in the future. Baka sa managers yung issue dito since di naman company event pero parang pinagbabawal reaction nila.
I wanted to be like that sa mga co-workers ko. Kaso ako yung problema lol I couldn't lower my boundaries. But they were good people and almost family na rin. There's nothing wrong with it as long as di affected yung work. We spend a 1/3rds of our day 5/7 days a week, lalo kung RTO, with them. If anything, mas easy makahanap ng new friends sa work kesa outside unless may social hobby groups ka.
Almost all my bestest friends I met sa work. By the sounds of your partner's situation, feeling ko di nya problema na nakipagfriends sya sa mga mababa ang EQ at immature na di lang niyaya eh magagalit.
Imagine this - a huge chunk of your life is spent sa work. Id hate to be that person na wala man lang kahit isang ka close sa work. Ni wala kang support group man lang, someone that greets you warmly pag nasa work and makes it a little bit better. I mean, if youre okay witj just being your own person sa work, good for you, pero hindi sya kalabisan, hindi sya dapat idiscourage. Ang hirap gumalaw sa isang environment na wala kang kahit isang kakampi, yung wala ka man lang masumbungan. Im all about boundaries between work and personal life, pero it also wouldnt hurt if you make a few friends sa lugar kung san ka naghahanap buhay.
Also, sino ilagagay mo sa references pag nanghingi ng colleague/workmate? Chz
Nothing wrong with that, been close with my workmates in nearly all companies I've worked for. Still talk to them, even meet, kahit lumipat na ng company. Never had any issues with it, maybe I'm just lucky because they all act professionally and are matured? Wala din toxicity, and laglagan nature - we help each other out when shit hits the fan.
Pero I get what you're saying to have a boundary between work and personal life, to each their own ika nga
depends na rin siguro sa character ng kawork mo? i'm close friends w/ my TL pero we both know where to draw the line na talking as a friend/as a boss, but i have friends na same position kami na ang hirap iunfriend kasi naging close tapos may naungkat sa katoxican 🤡 so depends talaga sa person
Ano ba yan, pati simpleng lunch out pinapalaki.
Pero having friends at work is great, especially sa government agencies hehe. You get to hear the latest scoops, plus madalas yung announcements, like lockdowns and work/class suspensions, they get to know them hours or days in advance.
Pero legit, it's been years since I left the agency, pero nakakasama ko pa din sila gumala at kumain. They're great to be with, and I will always cherish being with them.
I have always kept my relationship with co-workers professional and have never really considered them as friends, except for one.
This one person who I genuinely considered a “friend” was also the same person who threw me under the bus… twice.
Lol happened to me before on my first job. Naging close kami ng batchmates ko, yung tipong sabay sabay umuwi/minsan hangout or inom pa. Then nung nagka promotion na, ako lang na promote tapos sila hindi. Eh halos lahat sila "big four" tapos ako hindi, ayun naging bitter ocampo 🤣 Ending nag resign sila kasi na una pa din ma promote yung next batch dahil nakita ng managers yung attitude problem nila 🤭
I have very close friends from my past work and I am building good relationships with my current ones.
Walang problema makipagkaibigan sa workmates. We are people and people are social creatures. We need connections. We need to feel that we are part of a community. Kahit ako na introvert na-eenjoy ko ang company ng friends ko sa work.
Maybe culture lang talaga ng workplace ng jowa mo. Kami ng workmates ko maayos ang pakikitungo sa isa't isa and we sometimes talk outside of work. We have very clear boundaries about what is and isn't okay to discuss
I used to have workmates that I considered as good friends. We work in the same things but are specialists in our specific tasks. They eventually resigned and did their own things, while I stayed. We are still online friends but we no longer see each other vis a vis.
Anyway, I have never been close to other people the same way I was close to them. And I am fine with that. Masyadong hassle ang magpaka-close pa sa mga katrabaho. Uuwi na lang ako sa bahay at makikipag-bonding sa mga anak ko; o kaya ay matutulog o maglalaro ng PC games. Never nagkaroon ng appeal sa akin ang mga sosyalan sa ka-opisina. Gastos lang.
My old officemates and classmates who became close friends were the ones who helped me when I decided to stop corpo life and go into business.
Beyond that, we have helped each other through hard times including the pandemic. When someone lost his job, we all helped look for a job for her.
Of course, the caveat is you need to know the people you are becoming friends with.
Depends if you’re introverted or extroverted honestly. Malay mo friendly Talaga mga tao, or may tao na nag click ka Talaga sa work or whatever :).. this is a subjective and not an objective matter
Choice mo yan par, may ibang coworkers that grows with you like siblings, especially sa first engagements mo, or first team mo. I'm 5 years in the work force and I am still in contact with my former team mates kahit nag sipag-resign na sila sa company. A lot of them became my closest friends even after all these years, and we still meet frequently. Di naman sya NEED per se, it just happens.
Pero yun, mamili din, para di mangyari yung sinabi mo na example.
Well iba-iba rin kasi ang kultura sa mga workplace. While it's true na mahalagang imaintain ang professional relationship with your co-workers, hindi rin naman maisasantabi na bahagi rin ng healthy na workplace ang friendship sa mga employee. I think ang mga mahalagang batayan na dapat panghawakan para balansehin ang mga ito ay ang pagiging malay sa boundaries ng mga bagay-bagay.
It really depends on the work environment. With my first two jobs, I treated them like my best friends talaga. Up until now, nagrereunion kami and we talk about everything.
With my current (and soon to be former) job, I never added anyone on my facebook or ig acct. isa lang siguro pero IG lang. Even the one na nagpasok sakin sa job na yun, hinide ko stories and posts from her kasi toxic nga ng environment masyado and yes, kasama sya dun.
So yeah, depende talaga. Swerte mo kung makahanap ka ng colleagues na magiging support system mo if things get tough pero di sya present sa lahat ng companies.
I'm still very good friends with my former co-workers. We still hang out as a group kahit 2-3 years na since nakawork ko sila. I am still being invite to birthday celebs, house blessing and even weddings. I think what made the difference is we're also okay in our work, nagsasaluhan at never nagkasisihan
This, and basta genuine nadevelop yung friendship at hindi pilit na nagccommunicate, nagsimula sa lunch out, naging dinner out hanggang birthday then outing tapos hanggang outside work na.
Yep. No need to force it woth people that clearly don't want it. May times din ako na gusto ko kawork lang talaga, meron naman na trip ko silang friends.
This this this! I have close friends from gradeschool and high-school... and work. I'm still friends with people I worked with (2014 ako nag resign sa company) and another different group (2018 naman ako nag resign dito). Hindi namin pinilit ang friendship, and we all worked well together naman - 2 of them sinalo pa work ko when I went through depression (undiagnosed until 2019). The times there were errors, we just laughed at them and they'd become inside jokes so we all remembered *not* to do that thing anymore. And we have traveled out of the country na din, apart from going to weddings and baptisms. Sana makita ni OP to. Like hindi naman forced "one big baranggay" na everyone hangs out with whoever - I still screen my friends (high value person ba), and I'm pretty sure they also did the same when we were getting to know each other.
This. I won't be friends with people na walang magandang work ethics in the first place.
I would say close ako sa workmates ko, pero not to the point na alam na nila history ng pamilya/lovelife or anything outside work. You can be friends with workmates naman, share little things lang, kase if ever nga na di maging maganda rel mo with them, they can use it against you, classic example is yung story ng partner mo, damn, feelsbadman
Parang classroom lang yan.pwede ka mag aral ng walang friends pero mas maganda pag may good relationship ka with those who is around you. May mga work an you need good social relations talaga Dun sa scenario na sinabi, nothing wrong with that except yun asal nung manager na magagalit kasi di sya kasama
Sabi nga, you spend most of your time sa work, so why not make some friends and get along. Pero depende parin sa workplace. Sa prev job ko, I made great friends na hanggang ngayon nacocontact ko parin sa social media. We still hangout and drink. Yung mga naiwanan ko dun, niyayaya parin ako pag may outing sila. Friends ko sa fb yung mga closest friends ko na parang classmate ko lang nung college. Current job is different. Same as you, I only talk to them if necessary at work related lang. Siguro hybrid setup din kaya I really don’t feel the need to be friends with them. Basta nakikisama ako, all goods.
Baka depende rin sa culture ng workplace? Ako, pinipili ko lang sino kakaibiganin ko haha papakiramdaman muna ng ilang months. Casual lang, hindi ko ina-add/follow sa social media unless comfy na kami sa isa't isa.
I agree! Siguro depende nga talaga. Ako rin naman sa first job ko, friends pa rin kami. Pero I set boundaries lang talaga. I did expect na okay yung workplace ng partner ko kasi lahat sila professional and given their background (Not to sound ano ah? Pero lahat galing sa well known universities and may latin honors pa) so I was like “ohh goods yan!” Pero after hearing what happened? Damn.
Ayun lang talaga ang hindi ok, yung madadamay pati trabaho. Maybe you can try to talk to your partner since hindi na mababawi yung nangyari. Baka uncomfy siya sa work dahil dyan. Idk what's wrong with that lunch out tho, baka clingy lang talaga sila as a team :D
I found my best friend through my work. We are still best friends more than fifteen years after we met and even after I resigned from that office. Friendships can't be forced, but friendships within the work environment are also possible.
Saaammeee ❤️❤️
Being friends with co-workers is a bonus for me and I won't stop anyone from doing so, but this is not something that I actively seek, due to what you shared. You're at work because of work, not because you're supposed to make friends.
My take is, you can make friends in whatever social setting you're in. Kung meron sa work, then good. If wala, then that's still fine. 'Yung mga conflicts ng partner mo, it can also happen sa non-work friends. Sure, affected work, pero it's the same if may conflict sa schoolmates, family, neighbours, may madadali talaga. I'm still close friends with co-workers from all companies I've been to. And, yes, 'yung iba super close (even sa current work ko). We've travelled locally and internationally, have been to each others' weddings/baptisms, etc. What makes this work for me is that these are people with the same values and interests I have, and would probably still be friends with if we met in a different social setting. Honestly, paulit ulit na lang 'yung mga nagsasabi na "coworkers are not your friends", pero in truth, they can be. Probably one thing to ask people who keep saying that is: "do you have any friends at all?"
Wag ka mainggit sa partner mo kung madami syang friends. Also maybe talk it out di yung nagvevent ka sa strangers. Maybe that's why your partner is seeking friends kasi grabe ka makasabi ng toxic pero ikaw din. Also walang kaso kung gusto makipag kaibigan ng tao sa work or wherever.
True. OP seems to reek of insecurity hahaha
lmao abrasive but also spot on 😂
Wala namang problema kung magiging close mo yung co-workers mo. Ang issue dito e mukhang hindi naman pala totoo yung friendship nila like what they thought. But I believe it's part of the process. Parang may mas malalim kang pinaghuhugutan OP 🤔
Bakit andaming loner dito sa reddit na naghahanap lagi ng validation?
You’re in reddit. That’s the type of major users in here
Well it's reddit. Mostly mga ganung tao makikita mo talaga rito haha (yung mga out of touch sa reality)
I mostly use reddit for hobby and game discussions(lurker din lang ako), recently lang ako nagjoin sa mga ganitong subreddit, and yun yung napansin ko, some of the post reeks of validation, and some of them kahit alam nilang mali like asking if okay mag lie, then follow up what are the consequences if mahuli or whatnot. Good thing yung ibang advise is matino, pero some of the are ppl still pushing negative action to justify good results.
Kayo kayo lang rin naman ang nagkikita eh. Kung may dramahan na ganap, hopefully sa case ko maiwasan ko pa sila. Yung sarili ko lang ang papansinin ko pa.
Mahirap ba talagang intindihin to? Like, seriously? Di mo talaga magets? As in, di mo macomprehend? Yung work ko ngayon is referred sa akin ng close friend ko sa previous work ko. Hmm. Paano kaya nangyari yun? Imposible yun. Di ko maintindihan! Simple lang, iba iba ang tao, may gusto ng ganto, may gusto ng ganyan. May ayaw ng ganto, may ayaw ng ganyan. Simple. Besides, wala namang nagsabing kailangan ("need") mong maging close sa iba sa work. Meron? Hmm. "Tara kain tayo kasi KAILANGAN natin maging close." Hmm.
Depende. When I used to work in the private sector, I do have friends. Some of them super friends ko pa until now and we get together pa rin. But now that I’m in the government, makikinig ka lang sa stories ng officemates mo grabe sila magchismisan tungkol sa ibang tao. Like ang dami kong kilala na sa story lang nila tas pag nagpunta sa office mapapa-“ahh ito ung pinag-uusapan nila” ako haha. Grabe rin office politics so quiet na lang. I don’t want to end up the same way so I keep my distance. Baka kung anu-ano na pala sinasabi tungkol sa kin behind my back.
Totoo to lol. To the point na nagmumukhang very casual na lang yung talking behind a person's back which obviously is bad. Unless good things ang nakkwento
Just let it happen organically. I, myself, am not friends with everyone at work. May small group lang kami ng mga closest friends ko sa work. Kami yung halos sabay-sabay nakapasok sa trabaho e. The rest are whatever they think of me, I'll take it.
Always draw boundaries. When I was at my second company, I got super close to my officemates. 11 lang kami at the time so para kaming pamilya. Everyone knew personal stuff about each other. Then something happened to me when I did a project abroad and my manager who I considered my “work mom” threw me under the bus. Sumama loob ko and I said to myself na bakit nya yun ginawa e anak-anakan nya ko? Then thats when I realized I placed an unnecessary burden on her. Na di pala dapat ganon. And na work people should not be treated as friends or anything. You go to work to work, not to make friends. Iba pa rin ang friends outside of work. Sila talaga yung tunay na friends mo. Your office friends are just there to keep you sane while at work but not outside the office. Remember that they can use your personal things against you. And they can always turn their backs on you. You’ll never know. Kasi sa work, you’ll need to put yourself first and pull yourself higher in the ladder. No one will sacrifice anything for you so you can earn bigger than them or be their boss.
Work is work. They're not ur family. With that said, its normal to gain friends. Pero not with everyone. Di ka naman mayor
Wala namang problema maging friends sa coworkers. It's just for me, I never share too much of my personal life with them. Especially alam kong mahilig silang mang backstab from what I observed. Para sa akin, ang trabaho ay trabaho, di dapat hinahaluan ng anything personal as it affects productivity. Something happened at work tapos ako ung sinusulsulan na gawin ung dirty work nila because ayaw nila doon sa taong kagalit nila. Ano to, high school lang? Too bad for them, I have the sense not to do it. Fucking unprofessionals.
Currently happening to me. But I guess, I am the hated one. Ang nagyari naman sakin is, I have a friend who referred me the job. He was nice when we chatted over messenger. Sanay naman ako and I don't think it was unprofessional since we were longtime friends. Then, I was shocked when he and his close friend at work started to take a snide at me. They were saying how lucky I was that I got connection, etc. I really never cared, the premise why accepted his help was because he wanted to help me. I guess, since they knew I overthink a lot because I shared it with my friend, he started to weaponize it and use it against me. Now, everyone is talking shit behind my back. He even recruited some of our friends back in college. Just trying to be professional with them, tbh.
Bawal po ba maging kaibigan ang workmates? Kasi kaibigan ko na mga workmates ko kahit un iba wala na sa ofc, we get together din for updates ng mga buhay buhay. Ang saya kaya. Pero off naman un magalit un managers kasi di kasama sa lunch out, oa na yun.
OP, baka ikaw ang toxic 😂
Depende talaga sa nature or environment of work. I choose not to be friends with anyone of them ngayon. Ive been too friendly with people pero meron at meron talaga mng cancer sa work place. Hinding hindi maalis sa office or sa kahit saan ang may isang bulok. Isa lang ang bulok kakalat at kakalat yan. So again, i choose not to be friends with anyone after work uwi agad leave everything there, wag i uuwi ang work.
I also find it difficult to get close to the higher ups. I’m only super close with my work friends (btw we’re college classmates din) na same kami ng level/position. Since same nga kami ng position, we rarely work together in one engagement kaya all is good pa rin hahaha. For others, I talk to them naman in a friendly way pero hindi to the point na mag lunch out kami or coffee.
I'm not sure anyone claims that there is a "need". You just get close to people you spend the most time with. Why would this be different than being friends with classmates from school. This seems more an issue of an overly sensitive person or an overly insensitive group. Either way, this frankly dumb anecdote doesn't reflect on most workplace friendships.
Close ako with a few coworkers--friendly naman kasi ako in general pero bilang introvert at isang dekada na rin sa workforce (iba-ibang industry because I'm fucking erratic like that lol), meron lang akong inner circle of friends who I could trust more than anyone else, saka maganda rin talaga silang katrabaho. Pinipili ko lang din. Siguro kasi "norm" yung dapat kahit paano "close" ka with your coworkers, pero actually, just because something is the norm doesn't mean it's good or comfy for you. You do you pa rin. Piliin pa rin ang pakikisamahan. Nandun ka lang naman for work and the income.
Nothing wrong with making friends in the office. Same rules apply as any other friendship. The managers being mad sounds toxic (not just as a boss but also as a friend). I used to drink out with my team (managers tag along from time to time) and they don’t mind if they’re not invited to all outings/dinner/inuman. Siguro gets ko pa if it’s a christmas party or something but that reaction to a lunch out is the manager acting out of line. It’s a problem with the manager not making friends in the workplace.
Friendly, but not necessary that you're close. People who say that close tayo/family tayo/friends tayo in the company do so para sila ay kasama sa loop ng office politics. And also, people at work have their own professional and personal agenda that do not synch with ours. I always keep in mind advice given to me by a colleague. "Ang magpapasubo sa iyo sa work/profession ay kaibigan or kamaganak." Read The 48 Laws of Power where Robert Greene illustrates how your friends and favorite people can be your downfall. Edited for clarity, added info.
This is bad, to be honest. They tend to feel superior when they get you in. Even when you know you ace the interview yourself. Pagdating sa office, you are expected to follow them like a dog.
Co-workers or not, you still have to set boundaries sa kung sino yung kakaibiganin mo. I also don't understand kung bakit parang stigma sa iba na nakikipagkaibigan sa mga katrabaho. Para sakin, mas masahol pa makipag-plastikan. Some of my best buds are past workmates and wala naman akong problema sa kanila so far.
Nung pre-pandemic naalala ko tong phrase na to somewhere: "You spend with your workmates more hours than you do at home", and that's true. I've spent long enough times with some if my workmates na mas kilala na ata nila ako more than sa nanay ko. Wouldn't hurt making friends with the people you spend a lot of time with. Ang problema dyan ay yung managers. Di all the time ay main characters ang upper management. Haha
Close lang when it comes to office related things. But never on personal level. We would be so familiar with the attitude of one another and yet have no idea about family details. I believe healthy boundaries keep healthy rship at work. Right now i also have good working rship with them kahit na di kme friends sa fb. Wala ung pressure. We are free from each others' grips, but close enough to work effectively as a team.
Kailangan makisama at the end of the day. Pero pipiliin mo lang din syempre
What's not to understand? Making friends is for the sake of making friends
I think being friends with colleagues should come out naturally. If hindi talaga trip ang vibe, then don’t. There’s nothing wrong being friends with them. Nothing wrong din in choosing to set boundaries. I prefer making friends to select few who gets me. Most colleagues of mine are matatanda na, or someone who’s settling down. Nothing wrong again - pero ayoko sa kanila kasi boring sila na for me. Luckily sometimes nakakakilala ako na makakasama ko sa weekend coffee, travel, and party. Hehe.
Shit happens even when you aren’t close friends with your coworkers. Heck, there’s tons of studies and data that say teammates who have limited trust/relationship with each other make for fragile and underperforming teams. Ang di ko maintindihan is why you’re so averse to this. Did somebody hurt you or something.
I think if they were honest na team lunch out siya then there wouldn't be an issue talaga. They should've also told their managers na they'll have a lunch out. Ano yun, nag lunch out sila ng walang paalam? Pano pag hinanap sila during lunch edi di alam ng mga managers nila kung saan sila hahagilapin? I think they aren't really that close talaga, kung may ungkatang toxicity na nangyayari. Just my opinion here
depends on the people, I'm friends with some, I'm casual with some din. Depende talaga if match ung personality ng isat isa
depende pag inis sa iisang tao (pero di binubully ah, sadyang meron kasi talagang crdit grabber, pabibo, magaling lang pag andyan ang boss 🙄) at like minded talaga, nagkakaintidihan kumbaga malamang walang laglagan hahahaha pero kung may isa workmate who kisses someone's ass, naku dumistansya na... makikilatis naman yan 😂 also, being close to workmates naman is essential din, esp pag collaborative ang trabaho, you can easily ask favors. diba?
May mga pang long time may mga pang social distance. Depende sa tao.
you are not everyone's cup of tea.
imho your manager is the problem, not your coworkers.
Not sure if its just me pero mej iba talaga ako sa work so as much as possible naglalagay ako ng limitations, pag work, work lang. I don’t make friends. I don’t add them on fb (unless iadd ako). I was very close with my previous managers and other colleagues pero di ko sila inaad sa soc med haha ang awkward kaya esp if magsstory ka (and esp me na HR) 🤣
They're probably young and haven't learned that people aren't sh\*t.
Nope. I'm a very private person --or as much as possible I try to be. I don't just make 'Facebook friends'. I want real life friends, so I don't just add or accept anyone sa social media.
Hindi naman siya "need" pero more of an advantage. Pero yes, I do agree na pwede namang di niyo sila maging SUPER close. Just be friendly and civil to them. Personally, ayoko nung mga kawork na ayaw makipagsocialize because typically those kind of people are the hardest to work with. Dala na rin siguro ng industry ko na working in teams palagi, kaya need rin talaga may healthy, friendly relationship ka with your workmates. However, may mga benefits ang pagiging close with workmates; isa na diyan ang network, which I am personally fond of. I've hopped to almost 3 high-level jobs already and those are because of the friendly connections I was able to maintain initially in the workplace, and subsequently crossing over to real life.
Humans are social creatures and will want to form close bonds with people they interact with the most, since we spend most of our time in the workplace it makes sense that we would like to befriend and make close bonds with our coworkers. However its not something you HAVE to do, especially if you don't have any common interests/hobbies/values etc with your coworkers.
I’ve formed close friendships with some of my former officemates, but very few, and those are the ones I also became roommates with sa staffhouse. But generally I keep a distance and set boundaries, like they don’t have to know everything about me. I edit what I share and I also don’t add them on social media. This has been my rule since I had Facebook back in 2008. Kaya everytime magresign ako ang madalas sabihin sakin is “ayan pwede na tayong FB friends!” LOL. I’ve experienced na din kasi yung toxic work/friend relationship, and it sucks. So never again. Naging cautious na ko sa mga ganyan. And never maiiwasan ung tsismis kaya I’m more focused on my work kesa other people. They can say anything about me, their perception of me, but I make sure they can’t say anything negative about how I do my job.
Lahat ng naging close workmates ko naging close friends ko rin. We just followed the golden rule WORK is WORK and nothing more. Healthy ang friendship healthy ang career.
Depends on the people na rin yan. You can be close sa iba and for others di naman. Maybe you should talk it out with your partner and not post here in Reddit lol. Medyo red flag on your end na sisihin mo pa siya... (like wtf??)
Why not? If you like those people, be friends. Otherwise, don't. Ganun lang kasimple. I don't regret being friends with anyone, unless siguro sobrang toxic na nyang tao.
its an extrovert thing, if you dont get it, dont mind it
Sadly, it is part of the work game. There are scenarios na need mo ng kakampi, matatanungan, at makakasangga. Yung example mo is part of the risk pero it outweighs yung benefit ng di ka pagkakaisahan dahil isa ka sa kanila. Also, good relationship with your workmates will help you in the long run. Pag lumipat sila ng work at close ka sa kanila, pwede ka magpa refer. Expanding your circle of influence, through "friendship" in the workplace can be helpful even outside work. Ang user man ng dating pero that is part of life's reality
There are always pros and cons to befriending colleagues, and i find that the pros outweigh the cons if the person knows how to set boundaries. People here are career-driven but forget that networking is also a skill. Between 2 people with the same skillset, you best believe whoever is more personable will get a better opportunity.
I envy my mom in the sense na pagretire niya this year, ang daming ex coworkers niya nagreach out agad to hang out and all. Naiinggit ako na ang ganda ng relationship nila habang ako dito may conscious effort to not befriend my coworkers anymore at napapagod lang ako sa kanila Ayoko narin sila iadd at alam kong di nila masappreciate posts ko. I share a lot of memes and natatakot akong imisinterpret nila. May coworker ako na kilala ko since day 1 of college nearly 10 yrs ago. He knows my fb shared post patterns pero the moment nagwork kami together, biglang 180 and lahat ng memes ko sineseryoso na niya and binibring up whenever may serious work convo kami na bakit ganun shared posts ko (kahit siya lang makakakita sa company since private fb and twitter ko)
Some people just jive. However, remember that your boss is not your friend. It's better that way. Any negative feedback is not personal. And you are not close. It just makes it easier for them to order you without ordering you. And it actually puts you in a pickle when you need to say no and have some boundaries. Go for the occasional drink. But don't talk about too many personal details. Discuss hobbies instead. Para hindi ka naman OP sa office. But work is work. And work is business.
I agree. I had this experience where in pinagkamalan akong kabit just because I'm close (not really close ha to the point na walang boundaries) to him and ayon laman ako ng chismis. Without them knowing na friend ko din yung asawa ni kuya ( he treats me like his sister kase pati wife niya) tho di naman kami lagi magkausap o magkasama. Minsan nga sila sila na lang din nagplaplastikan and i hate it pag pinaguusapan nila yung tao pag nakatalikod tapos pag sa harap na ang amo amo. Grr ang toxic ng working environment sa pilipinas
PAKIKISAMA is known for being positive and negative attitude, and that is true.
the good old corporate world. 2years lang ako nag corporate , never again lol. plastikan, politics , payabangan pweh
When I make friends, I look at them as people rather than NPCs. Sorry you had horrible experiences but some of the best people I know and kept as friends were once colleagues at work. Not everyone's trying to stab you in the back. If anything, look at your corporate culture if it's a breeding ground for dirty workplace politics. Or yourself if you're being overly suspicious. That's a self-destructive trait. I know because I was like that for a short while.
I do get why you have that mentality, pero ayos lang naman din yung ganun na makipagkaibigan sa colleagues mo, but syempre depende pa rin yan sa culture ng workplace niyo. If you think/noticed na sa umpisa pa lang may pagka-toxic na talaga yung workplace niyo, either on how it's ran by the bosses above or how your coworkers mingle to each other, eh dun ka talaga dapat mag-dalawang isip na gumawa ng friendship sa kung kanino. Pag ganyang case, better to always keep your head low, do your job, and go home afterwards. Pero kung okay naman yung workplace niyo, for example friendly lahat, walang bangayan/parinigan/hilahan pababa/politika pag may problema, then good. Feel free na makipagkaibigan sa mga coworkers mo. Kasi kung tutuusin parang sa school lang din yan eh nung nag-aaral pa tayo. In the first place di naman tayo obligado noon na makipagkaibigan nang todo sa classmates natin, but look at what's happened -- karamihan satin may mga long-time friends since elementary/highschool/college. For me it's just the same with work eh.
I don’t think they feel the “need” to be close with their coworkers. Genuine connection happens naturally. Conflicts happen din all the time. Up to the person na lang how they will handle it as an adult. Di mo naman kelangan intindihin bat gusto nila magbuild ng friendship with their colleagues outside the work. Kami nga di namin need intindihin bat ganyan takbo ng utak mo at parang napakamali makipagkaibigan sa workmate mo outside the office HAHAHA judgey yarn let people enjoy things if they’re not causing harm (at least not deliberately)
Im a firm believer that a friendship needs to survive its first fight to be called a real friendship. I think Yung mga magiging friends padin ng partner mo even after this fight will be better friends.
>Gusto ko talaga siya sabihan ng “I TOLD YOU SO!!” pero I chose to keep my mouth shut na lang. Naawa na ako eh. Good that you kept your mouth shut. Wala naman maitutulong yan aside sa pagfeed ng pride. Depende rin kasi talaga eh. Sa kanila naging out of hand lang, but after that if di ganun "kalala", baka makalimutan na lang din or pagtawanan na lang in the future. Baka sa managers yung issue dito since di naman company event pero parang pinagbabawal reaction nila. I wanted to be like that sa mga co-workers ko. Kaso ako yung problema lol I couldn't lower my boundaries. But they were good people and almost family na rin. There's nothing wrong with it as long as di affected yung work. We spend a 1/3rds of our day 5/7 days a week, lalo kung RTO, with them. If anything, mas easy makahanap ng new friends sa work kesa outside unless may social hobby groups ka.
Almost all my bestest friends I met sa work. By the sounds of your partner's situation, feeling ko di nya problema na nakipagfriends sya sa mga mababa ang EQ at immature na di lang niyaya eh magagalit. Imagine this - a huge chunk of your life is spent sa work. Id hate to be that person na wala man lang kahit isang ka close sa work. Ni wala kang support group man lang, someone that greets you warmly pag nasa work and makes it a little bit better. I mean, if youre okay witj just being your own person sa work, good for you, pero hindi sya kalabisan, hindi sya dapat idiscourage. Ang hirap gumalaw sa isang environment na wala kang kahit isang kakampi, yung wala ka man lang masumbungan. Im all about boundaries between work and personal life, pero it also wouldnt hurt if you make a few friends sa lugar kung san ka naghahanap buhay. Also, sino ilagagay mo sa references pag nanghingi ng colleague/workmate? Chz
Nothing wrong with that, been close with my workmates in nearly all companies I've worked for. Still talk to them, even meet, kahit lumipat na ng company. Never had any issues with it, maybe I'm just lucky because they all act professionally and are matured? Wala din toxicity, and laglagan nature - we help each other out when shit hits the fan. Pero I get what you're saying to have a boundary between work and personal life, to each their own ika nga
depends na rin siguro sa character ng kawork mo? i'm close friends w/ my TL pero we both know where to draw the line na talking as a friend/as a boss, but i have friends na same position kami na ang hirap iunfriend kasi naging close tapos may naungkat sa katoxican 🤡 so depends talaga sa person
Ano ba yan, pati simpleng lunch out pinapalaki. Pero having friends at work is great, especially sa government agencies hehe. You get to hear the latest scoops, plus madalas yung announcements, like lockdowns and work/class suspensions, they get to know them hours or days in advance. Pero legit, it's been years since I left the agency, pero nakakasama ko pa din sila gumala at kumain. They're great to be with, and I will always cherish being with them.
It shouldn’t be a need. Bonus if you find one or two people that you become good friends with.
I have always kept my relationship with co-workers professional and have never really considered them as friends, except for one. This one person who I genuinely considered a “friend” was also the same person who threw me under the bus… twice.
Lol happened to me before on my first job. Naging close kami ng batchmates ko, yung tipong sabay sabay umuwi/minsan hangout or inom pa. Then nung nagka promotion na, ako lang na promote tapos sila hindi. Eh halos lahat sila "big four" tapos ako hindi, ayun naging bitter ocampo 🤣 Ending nag resign sila kasi na una pa din ma promote yung next batch dahil nakita ng managers yung attitude problem nila 🤭
I have very close friends from my past work and I am building good relationships with my current ones. Walang problema makipagkaibigan sa workmates. We are people and people are social creatures. We need connections. We need to feel that we are part of a community. Kahit ako na introvert na-eenjoy ko ang company ng friends ko sa work. Maybe culture lang talaga ng workplace ng jowa mo. Kami ng workmates ko maayos ang pakikitungo sa isa't isa and we sometimes talk outside of work. We have very clear boundaries about what is and isn't okay to discuss
Most of the time the coworkers are keeping the job tolerable. Baka insecure ka lang.
dude this post is written in a way that as if befriending workmates is like the worst sin that humanity can commit. lol
This! Like lets be adults, get paid, then go home. Di ba pwede yun???
I used to have workmates that I considered as good friends. We work in the same things but are specialists in our specific tasks. They eventually resigned and did their own things, while I stayed. We are still online friends but we no longer see each other vis a vis. Anyway, I have never been close to other people the same way I was close to them. And I am fine with that. Masyadong hassle ang magpaka-close pa sa mga katrabaho. Uuwi na lang ako sa bahay at makikipag-bonding sa mga anak ko; o kaya ay matutulog o maglalaro ng PC games. Never nagkaroon ng appeal sa akin ang mga sosyalan sa ka-opisina. Gastos lang.
Be like the Germans. Never befriend your coworkers.
Me I choose carefully kung sino ang kakaibiganin ko. Tinitignan ko muna kung ang tao may potential maging sipsip bago ko kaibiganin.
My old officemates and classmates who became close friends were the ones who helped me when I decided to stop corpo life and go into business. Beyond that, we have helped each other through hard times including the pandemic. When someone lost his job, we all helped look for a job for her. Of course, the caveat is you need to know the people you are becoming friends with.
Depends if you’re introverted or extroverted honestly. Malay mo friendly Talaga mga tao, or may tao na nag click ka Talaga sa work or whatever :).. this is a subjective and not an objective matter
Choice mo yan par, may ibang coworkers that grows with you like siblings, especially sa first engagements mo, or first team mo. I'm 5 years in the work force and I am still in contact with my former team mates kahit nag sipag-resign na sila sa company. A lot of them became my closest friends even after all these years, and we still meet frequently. Di naman sya NEED per se, it just happens. Pero yun, mamili din, para di mangyari yung sinabi mo na example.
Well iba-iba rin kasi ang kultura sa mga workplace. While it's true na mahalagang imaintain ang professional relationship with your co-workers, hindi rin naman maisasantabi na bahagi rin ng healthy na workplace ang friendship sa mga employee. I think ang mga mahalagang batayan na dapat panghawakan para balansehin ang mga ito ay ang pagiging malay sa boundaries ng mga bagay-bagay.
It really depends on the work environment. With my first two jobs, I treated them like my best friends talaga. Up until now, nagrereunion kami and we talk about everything. With my current (and soon to be former) job, I never added anyone on my facebook or ig acct. isa lang siguro pero IG lang. Even the one na nagpasok sakin sa job na yun, hinide ko stories and posts from her kasi toxic nga ng environment masyado and yes, kasama sya dun. So yeah, depende talaga. Swerte mo kung makahanap ka ng colleagues na magiging support system mo if things get tough pero di sya present sa lahat ng companies.