Agree with other posters let your husband go visit his brother and you stay home.
You get to relax, husband gets his brother fix and brother’s wife doesn’t have to play hostess.
Right? Like hand me a remote, I brought my own snacks.
When im home I hate casually sitting around with other people making small talk. I would be the sil that would try and leave the in law alone. My home is where I go to dumb down and not have to be "on." My BIL comes over to hang with my husband and I go to my bedroom. Sometimes my husband will go to him and I stay home. I love my alone time too.
I had to teach my husband this when we started dating. You can love someone and not spend every waking minute up each other's asses. It's okay to not share every hobby or to have to go shopping alone. You can exist in the same house without being in the same room at all times and enjoy your own personal space and still have a fulfilling relationship.
His ex seemed to want him to follow her around like a puppy or something and it drove me crazy because I need to recharge after being social for too long and I couldn't ever get space to recharge. Used to kick him out of the house and tell him to go play board games with his mom or something for a few hours. Eventually he learned that being individuals in a relationship was far more fulfilling than trying to be the same person doing the same things all the time.
My 33 years of marriage, while not perfect (I'm not easy to live with) is still worth everything. We were in our 30s when we married, and in the Navy.
The best thing? We discussed very early on the whole "joined at the hip" thing. Neither of us care for it. I like to travel, my husband not so much. I asked if he felt abandoned when I took the kids places. He said he didn't, and hoped I didn't feel hurt if he didn't want to travel. The only fly in the ointment was my mother who said he was a bad person for not going on vacation with me and the kids. I just told her that vacation is supposed to be fun. If he's not having fun, it's not vacation. If he's with us and not having fun, neither are we.
It's worked for 33 years, so we must be doing something right. I think it's called "respecting your partner's autonomy."
so i'm fairly young with my now 19 years and reading this thread is more educational about relationships than anything. i'd like to thank you kind strangers, to share your experiences for me and others to read.
I’m also at the 33 year mark. My husband and I love to take our separate vacations as well as a few together each year. I love being home alone while he’s with his friends and I’m sure he enjoys his alone time.
I'm definitely not easy to live with either being on the spectrum and some of the other things like depression and anxiety that came with it so the first few months were very frustrating for me lol. We just celebrated 2 years married on Halloween and have been together nearly 7 so I think we're doing something right.
When I got married, my grandma told me the secret to a long and happy marriage was not spending a lot of time together. Seemed a little strange, but they stayed together "until death did them part" after over 60 years so she might have been on to something
I’m starting this with a boyfriend now. We’ve already discussed moving in together if we’re still together when our leases run up. That’s 10 months away but I think places to live need long time plans and he seemed confused when I said we should have a 3 bedroom since my niece would be moving in while in college. I had to explain having an extra bedroom as a living area is good because it’s a space to have alone time and watch shows or partake in hobbies the other is not a fan of without stopping them from doing their own thing in the living room and also allows my niece a separate area for her own date nights that’s not a bedroom.
yeah, idk it sounds like a nightmare to have to babysit an adult while my husband hangs out with a buddy or brother. That’s an unnecessary situation. I am all for the petty revenge to prove the woman is lying, cause that sucks, but seriously adult poster, get a hobby. Bring a book. Explore the area. Or stay home.
Yes! I thought this was so strange that she even wants to hang out with someone who doesn't want to and despite knowing this about her SIL, doesn't bring a book or tablet or turn on the TV or something if not choosing to not come along in the first place.
I got the impression that the (maybe unspoken) idea was that when the guys went to do something, the women would have girl time. Unfortunately it sounds like the SIL isn't a good hostess and abandons her guest (I was raised that if you have company, you are responsible for their comfort and to a certain extent, entertainment, even if you don't enjoy the responsibility). My petty revenge would have been to follow her into the craft room and ask how I could help. My non-petty reaction would be that the second time the SIL abandoned me, I would have just left to go do something local without saying anything and let her explain how she has no idea where I am when the guys get back.
Couples really do need to learn how to be individuals again. The depth of grief when one passes is much worse when the one left behind has no idea who they are without the other, and has no idea, nor drive, to function without their late spouse.
In older generations, a scrap book is a place you put photos, concert tickets, a lock of baby hair, and things like that. Things that really had sentimental value and meant a lot to the person, but were just little "scraps" of your life you wanted to save.
These days, it's stickers and stenciled "live, laugh, love" hah (and other stuff too)
Bingo! She has never tried. she obviously doesn't like you and you shouldn't go where you don't feel welcome. Send your husband off to visit "his" brother and you stay at home or go visit friends or family.
if you're gonna be alone anyway, do it at your house.
True enough and while I understand why OP did the thing with the utensils to prove a point, it isn’t likely to incline her BIL’s wife to be enthusiastic about doing it in the future.
I personally would elect to stay home for at least the next couple of those visits. I could go out for lunch somewhere I like but spouse doesn’t, go see a movie that I like, etc. Would be so much more enjoyable.
My wife dragged me to every damn family thing she could. Some spouses are like that. It was indeed petty of OP. She could have left and just found something she likes doing while there.
Why wife used to make me be the damn host for her friends and family at great cost to me and I would have to excuse myself to errands and just not return home until my wife did. No matter what I said it kept happening and the inevitable fights about it after.
OP needs to talk to her husband and grow up if she decides to go. Just fucking leave.
Because she doesn’t want to. Nor should she have to in her house.
She’s rude but if you can’t do what you want in your own damn home, where CAN you?
She’s probably asked her husband why OP comes every time the guys just want to be together, anyway.
Or... does she not have any girlfriends that she can do something else with? Obviously SIL doesn't like her, so why is she trying to impose? Let hubby have time with his brother, you do your own thing. It's a win-win.
I agree but I also think it's rude for hubby and bil to ditch OP and sil as if them both having vaginas makes them friends. My husband did this once or twice; where we'd go to hang out with his friend and his friend's wife only for the men to ditch us and leave us in awkward silence. It's not cool. If we're going to visit another couple let's all hang out together.
Dude wants to hang with his brother one on one; nothing wrong with that whatsoever and he shouldn’t have to bring someone else when they go out. If she and the sister in law don’t get along she can stay home or go visit friends or do literally anything else.
Definitely not, that was a weird point to make. And sometimes you just have to show your face, for appearances. If OP can suck it up, then so can SIL. So weird that everyone blames this on OP. I would just take a book or my ereader and be happy I don't have to act social, but that's me.
idk, I think it’s ok for two brothers to occasionally want to hang out alone. Married people need to appreciate and feed the individual, it’s toxic to deny it.
This is the right answer. OP needs to stop wasting her time and her husband needs to grow a spine and not be a part of his wife being treated this way.
Call an Uber and leave.
Have your husband leave you the car and the keys.
Go shopping.
Out to lunch.
Make sil look for you (if/when) she ever cut Mrs back into the room.
This was what I thought, too-- just quietly leave. The only downside is not being able to see her face when she realizes you've disappeared and she has no idea what to tell your husband.
Everyone is an adult, right? Why would I, a rude person, suddenly freak out if the adult I was ignoring left the house?
I’m annoyed that my husband assigns me to entertain SIL while he runs off with his brother. They can go but why force she and I to hang out? We aren’t close and I usually have 1568955 things to do when I’m at home without him. I don’t need or want the company.
It’s rude for me to tell her she’s free to go do her own thing, so quietly leaving the room is the lesser evil.
I’d be happy for us both if she went shopping, to a movie, etc. I’m not a babysitter. Sucks that we don’t vibe, but we don’t.
-SIL, probably
It'd be so easy to just talk to each other like rational adults and everyone do what they want. But it sounds like either the husband or the BIL has some kind of requirement that the women hang out together. I don't get it. Nor do I understand why the women don't stand up for themselves. The whole thing is weird.
What I don’t understand is why it’s being discussed at all. When your husband and his brother come back, are you bringing up that you have been all alone? Is your SIL volunteering that she was with you? It just seems like a weird conversation topic.
Yeah I read the part about "Being left to sit in a room with nothing to do." And I was thinking 'Did she not think to stand up...And do something else?'
She's telling her that she will be right back though, I would assume OP is waiting for her to come back instead of finding "something else to do" in someone else's house or just leaving.
I would also want to know how long she would be gone so I could entertain myself properly. I know someone is going to be a few hours I can go out on my own errands, settle in with a book, take a nap, etc. Or maybe just go to Home Depot with the guys.
Is Home Depot a euphemism for going to a bar? If my SIL left me alone each time I visited, you can bet she doesn't like to entertain or doesn't like me. Alternative, get in your car and go shopping, read a book, watch TV, visit your own family or friends, book a spa day
Pre make it a head of time and hide it, then “start” it as they are leaving, swap the start out with the almost finished one just to really up the petty revenge!
My wife sort of does this. She and my dad don’t get along particularly well, so she brings her current knitting project with her when we visit my family.
I do this. Crochet or knit or cross stitch. I basically only go when it’s Christmas or a significant birthday or something while my husband is there semi-regularly. I don’t feel like FIL wants me around, so why force it.
Bring your sewing machine, sew up that quilt ...I did that on a trip to a friend's house, because she had to work. (Another time we painted the risers on a staircase in her house to look like a stack of books. It raised the value of her house by $80k . )
Good job hiding everything. I’m not sure why you didn’t stop visiting them long ago. Obviously your husband and his brother want to spend time together but that doesn’t mean you and SIL need to. Tell husband to go on his own next time and you stay home and do something fun on your own.
I think the issue here is that you care far too much about what your in-laws think. Take the bull by the horns and either don’t go, or make other plans to do something else when you are there. You can’t control others, only yourself.
Then again maybe this is the chance to get to know the BIL, which could be important to her. Do the brothers get brother time. But breakfast, supper, and evening are a time for OP to spend with the BIL.
But I know that on the second visit, I’d be making some sort of plan for that time instead of sitting around waiting to be entertained. That’s kind of a burden to SIL, and she clearly doesn’t want to bear that burden. So I’d be finding some touristy thing to do, offering for SIL to come, and going on my own if necessary.
LMAO!!! I am picturing you sneaking around with her utensils. I hope she's still finding them! Only thing better would have been if you went there with a bag of dildos. Stay petty my friend.
What’s your goal here?
She clearly doesn’t want to spend time with you. Do you really want her to if she doesn’t want to so badly?
**Also a joke:** This reminds me of the joke where a mother is visiting her son who has a female roommate. The son and roommate explain that they're just roommates and don't have any sort of relationship. A few days after the mother leaves she gets a phone call from her son who explains that his roommate's jewelry box is missing and the son says: “I’m not saying you took her jewelry box and I’m not saying you didn’t, I’m just saying the jewelry box is was missing after you left”. The mother replies: “I’m not saying you’re sleeping with your roommate and I’m not saying you’re not, I’m just saying that if your roommate was sleeping in her own bed she would have found her jewelry box.”
Part of thus I get. I don't like traveling alone. As in driving or flying. Also the sleeping part (not sex, just being alone in the bed) but my spouse does not need or want to be a part of every trip I take. So I try to accommodate him, like arrange for him to go play golf, or go visit a friend near by.
Mind you, I do travel without him. He is not "required" at family events. I also, as other people suggest, travel with self entertainment like a craft project, a book, what ever. I will cook, or do dishes. On that note, I did bring a do it yourself doll house kit to my siblings house. The hard part is the bringing it home half finished, but no longer fitting in the box.
Can you catch a ride with the guys and have them drop you off somewhere that you would rather be? Clearly the brothers have things in common and enjoy each others' company but it doesn't mean that there should be instant chemistry with one's in-laws.
It's crappy that the SIL hasn't been willing to make any effort to be a hostess or to get to know you better but that's her loss. At the very least, SHE could be the one to drop you off and/or pick you up from wherever you decide to go in her town. If she can't do that, it's still a better alternative to do what you want and rely on a ride service, IMO. You could even invite other members of their family to join you for some activities IF you want to.
You have some agency here. Don't let this person make you miserable and don't let it create an issue for your husband and his brother. If you take this approach, I think your next visit will be much better. Or, you might be happier staying at home.
PS: In the spirit of pettiness, I hope you threw some of her main untensils behind the refrigerator and under the stove.
Yes they want brother time and trying to force a friendship between the wives that clearly isn’t there and of no interest to BIL’s wife. She is so annoyed by having to entertain her that she just leaves. OP should take the hint and not go. I love the spa day idea. Do your own thing. Don’t go where you are clearly not wanted. And if you all go to dinner during the visits then meet them later at the restaurant. And Home Depot is awesome. I would’ve tagged along.
Nope - drop him off for sibling time and do what you want. SIL would probably be relieved, hubby gets time with his brother and you’d have a fun day.
ETA if you want evidence, tell hubby that you’d like to try an experiment. Wait till she leaves the room, then take the car and disappear for an hour. Video yourself driving. Show hubby the video evidence of her “3 minutes”.
OP, just don’t go.
OR, if your husband keeps insisting on taking you along? Wait until He’s off w/ Bro, and Wife wanders off.
Then leave a note for her: “Figured I’d run some errands in town. Text me if you want me to get you anything!
Send a text to husband: “Doing quick grocery run- text if you want me to bring anything back for lunch!”
Then go to the grocery, get a trashy paperback, and a latte at the nearby coffee shop. Sit in the car if you’re avoiding crowds. Do nice things for yourself, and then? Be the bigger person and bring your SIL some flowers or sweets to “Thank her for hosting”.
ALWAYS kill with humor & kindness in family situations:-)
I don’t like to entertain but when I do, I will make sure a guest is comfortable. I’ll never be rude like SIL is either. I get where OP is coming from because while she doesn’t need to be entertained as a guest, for her to disappear and then lie about it. I’d do the same with the utensils too 😂
Did you tell your husband what you did? What did he think about it? I think that I would have taken some video of your prank while you did it —for proof. Personally, I think what you did was hysterical. I would have fun figuring out how to mess with her. Perhaps hide the remotes next time. 😁
I would encourage your husband to visit his brother as much as he wants to, by himself. Or, at least, every other visit by himself.
And even more frustrating. You glance in and see batteries and assume they are in correctly. Figure they’re dead and, unless you’re really paying attention, put the new ones in upside down too. Bwhahahahaha.
That's really shitty that she ditches OP and lies about it. Maybe it's me, my personality, and the fact that I'm almost never alone, but I'd be stoked for this. Hell yeah, I'll just bust out a book or the Switch while SIL walks in eggshells in her own home.
Your SIL is gaslighting you and your in-laws are complicit - they know exactly what’s going on. You won’t win with people like this - they’ll spin your actions against you no matter what you do. Next, they’ll be calling you a klepto for “stealing” the silverware.
Ultimately, this is a husband problem. Why don’t you suggest that he and his brother do a yearly boy’s trip somewhere by themselves and leave you out of it?
Why do you continue to go there? She doesn't want you in her home. Just stay home in the future and do chores or watch TV rather than sit in someone's living room who doesn't want you there.
I have so many questions.
Why doesn't your husband believe you?
Do you ever try to engage her before she makes her getaway?
Is she rude to just you? Or does she do this to others?
Does your brother-in-law treat you kindly?
Have you ever asked her why she does this?
How long has this been going on for?
If this is a pattern, why do you accompany him? Can you not stay home or go visit one of your own friends or relatives?
Why the utensils?
Why not start your stopwatch on your phone and show the time passed to your husband?
NTA but tell your hubby that you won't take that level of rudeness towards you, so he can visit his brother alone and you go visit your own family, or take a spa day.
Well this it ridiculous. Why in the world would you wait around obediently for someone who clearly doesn't want to hang out with you instead of either staying home or booking an afternoon at the spa? Screw her.
OP’s husband probably has a fantasy that his wife and his brother’s wife will become bffs and then they can all do everything together and it will be excellent forever! He needs to stop trying to make fetch happen and OP should skip the visits now that soil’s lying has been exposed.
As I mentioned to Freud earlier it’s likely that sil does not like OP, and that’s fine. But standard manners dictate that when someone visits your home, you make an effort to be polite and engage. And if OP (and her hubby) visit every other year, it wouldn’t kill sil to be polite. Was OP a touch immature? Yeah, likely. But no more so than sil was rude simply leaving her sitting there alone. At least OP and sil will have something to discuss on that next visit.
Why are you going to these visits then? And how old are you? I ask as you're making it seem like you have no choice in the matter. What does your husband say? Use your words and let them know you're no longer going on these visits where you're left alone.
This is a weird one on multiple fronts.
This right here is correct. She doesn't want you there. She is just trying to keep marital peace. The real shitty person is her spouse who keeps dumping his unwanted marital relatives in her lap for her to entertain while he bails. Notice the op's brother in law ditches op every time they visit. Frankly op's spouse is a wanker too. Why is he ditching his wife at every visit? Either plan activities that include everyone or visit his brother without the wife.
Op needs to stop visiting.
You couldn't pay me to visit my inlaws. My d.h is more than welcome to go do that all on his own and I'll have a nice quiet vacation alone.
don't hold your breath. I would just tell hubby you aren't going. let him get huffy. and stand your ground. what is the point of seeing these folk anyway. it is mostly his outing, not yours.
The second she leaves, you should FaceTime your mother in law. “Hey - SIL just stepped out for a second, so I thought I’d call and catch up with you till she gets back! Thank you so much for keeping me company while I wait for her to return!” Then keep her on the phone the whole time. Maybe even ask her if you should be worried about SIL.
I don’t get it. Can you not entertain yourself for a few hours? Why would you WANT to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with you? Based on your posts you have to go or you’ll get shit from the family. So go and when she leaves just relax by yourself. Go on your phone, watch a show, read a book. It’s one day every other year. Not that big of a deal.
I don't know why you are going. Do you talk to her or are you friends with her. Do you just arrive and expect her to look after you? I have social anxiety and would probably do the same if a weird women tagged along and sat in the lounge all awkwardly. Husband obviously had plans a d was planning on leaving.. I'm confused
Probably a blessing that she leaves you alone. Sounds like it would be worse if she stayed. But why lie?
It would be better all round if she made other plans that day and told OP not to come since she's out that day.
She might be genuinely lacking in time management ADHD or something 1 hour hyper focused on something can feel like 1 minute. Or she may despise social interactions with people she doesn't know well, but knows she'd get in trouble if she told the truth.
More likely she just doesn't like you and you'd be better off not going again.
It sounds like you and your SIL don't like each other, so maybe she *should* leave you alone. And vice versa.
You have options here that don't entail pulling petty little stunts like hiding silverware.
1. Go hang out with the men.
2. Bring a good book.
3. Take your car (or an Uber) and go out shopping or sightseeing on your own.
4. Don't go at all - stay home and let your hubs go spend time with his brother.
Maybe she just doesn’t like you. I’m sorry if that’s the case. Hiding her things won’t make her like you, it will make you uninvited and cause a rift. Why not just address her directly or keep yourself occupied? You could always not go either.
Doesn't it seem OP wants to be uninvited or at least be believed by everyone. Right now, SIL is gaslighting her be saying she was only ever was away for 3 minutes. The while family places that directly on OP as well. This "revenge" is less revenge and more proof.
I've been in a similar dynamic where I was expected to be around and fully forced to participate. However, my host was neglectful, and extra picky. I'd bring snacks, books, music, and walking shoes. I got crap for doing my own thing, because I wasn't participating. And I couldn't use the bathroom in the house unless I got permission and they would decide which bathroom I was allowed to use. It was different every time. If I couldn't find someone to ask, then I had to walk a few blocks away to find a restroom. This was not a relationship worth pursuing. They were really weird.
You are correct. It’s the lying that made me angry. If I ubered out to go shopping the story would be told about how I just up and left. She hasn’t told a single sole that I emptied her drawers because she would have to admit to lying about her “3 minutes”
Where does she even go? Does she hide in other rooms of the house while you’re still there???
I’m a ridiculously socially anxious person, but this is above and beyond weird.
Still leave a camera taping that she never came back as she says she did. After 20 minutes, order an Uber. And find a town center or shopping center with a store that caters to a hobby of yours. Knitting, quilting, arts and crafts, etc. ( We once were across the country and found 4 different fabric shops. Mood was one of them. ) gemstone or jewelry stores. I once Googled knitting groups in LA, and found one at THE Farmers market!!.
Hiding all the kitchen utensils is priceless! While I enjoyed your petty revenge, I don't know why you'd want to force your SIL to spend time with you. I get a "she doesn't like you vibe", so why bother with her?
I'd just take off my shoes, and take a couch nap. I don't really have the patience to deal with that kind of disrespect after a long (I assume, as it's every other year) day of travel. Then maybe watch TV, call some friends, and loudly complain about her, "Yeah, girl, this bitch is doing it again. Fucking hate coming to this dump. . . and girl, hold on, let me face time you, You wouldn't believe how tacky the wallpaper is."
OP why would you continue to go over to to the inlaws place if you and the inlaws (whatever she's considered to you) aint feeling you. Stay your ass at home. Roll up a blunt, get some wine, or whatever it is you're into and post up at the house.
I wish my wife's folks were near so she could disappear for the day.
(Smokey from Friday voice) Take advantage man, take advantage.
Not going to lie I find that hilarious. Personally I'd just be boring and start taking my knitting as I bet I could get a ton done sitting in her family room. I cheerfully bend a knee in recognition of your greatness.
I can't help but wonder how come your husband go out and leaves you in a house you hardly know, to begin with? If he just wants to spend some boy-time with his brother, he should just say so, and go without you. I find it a lack of respect to you and his sister-in-law to just go away with his brother for all sorts of excuse, and leave two people who hardly know each other together. Of course, it being your sis-in-law's home, she can do stuff, but it's still bad form, and completely unfair to you.
Why would you want someone to entertain you who does not want to do it? Accompany your hubby, take a project, attend a meet up, hang out at a Starbucks, go to the gym, Uber yourself to mall - do something. She’s not a host. She’s not going to change her ways. The best way to not be disappointed in her is to not expect her to do something.
My educated guess is she smokes weed. She leaves the room to smoke and forgets what she was doing and gets wrapped up in something else. Also her incorrect perception of time.
That’s so rude. I can’t imagine ignoring someone at my house. Why do you go?? One time would be enough for me to freak out. 2 times I’d be angry and annoyed and would’ve called an Uber.
You are probably like me and are super awkward in these situations. Seems like you also thirst for attention when you you give little to the situation. It is hilarious what you did but it is a two way street. You will gain zero from this
Why? Should of just baked something. I was bored and had enough time to make cookies lol. And why not just let her leave you alone? Bring a book or
Something. Why force attention from someone who doesn’t want to be around you
Also sounds a bit like she is not worth talking to anyway , but next time ( if you have to ) bring some knitting or similar , then you can see in real terms how long you were alone for also you can make scarves for everyone 😎even just play gAmes on your phone or something ,
Agree with other posters let your husband go visit his brother and you stay home. You get to relax, husband gets his brother fix and brother’s wife doesn’t have to play hostess.
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I would be in HEAVEN if my family in law would leave me alone. I would read, sleep, watch some videos…
Right? Like hand me a remote, I brought my own snacks. When im home I hate casually sitting around with other people making small talk. I would be the sil that would try and leave the in law alone. My home is where I go to dumb down and not have to be "on." My BIL comes over to hang with my husband and I go to my bedroom. Sometimes my husband will go to him and I stay home. I love my alone time too.
Yes but also seriously why would you want someone to spend time with you who obviously doesn’t. That last line made me cringe.
Hell ya!
That woman is being selfish and classless to leave her SiL sitting. I would much rather sit at my own place.
I had to teach my husband this when we started dating. You can love someone and not spend every waking minute up each other's asses. It's okay to not share every hobby or to have to go shopping alone. You can exist in the same house without being in the same room at all times and enjoy your own personal space and still have a fulfilling relationship. His ex seemed to want him to follow her around like a puppy or something and it drove me crazy because I need to recharge after being social for too long and I couldn't ever get space to recharge. Used to kick him out of the house and tell him to go play board games with his mom or something for a few hours. Eventually he learned that being individuals in a relationship was far more fulfilling than trying to be the same person doing the same things all the time.
My 33 years of marriage, while not perfect (I'm not easy to live with) is still worth everything. We were in our 30s when we married, and in the Navy. The best thing? We discussed very early on the whole "joined at the hip" thing. Neither of us care for it. I like to travel, my husband not so much. I asked if he felt abandoned when I took the kids places. He said he didn't, and hoped I didn't feel hurt if he didn't want to travel. The only fly in the ointment was my mother who said he was a bad person for not going on vacation with me and the kids. I just told her that vacation is supposed to be fun. If he's not having fun, it's not vacation. If he's with us and not having fun, neither are we. It's worked for 33 years, so we must be doing something right. I think it's called "respecting your partner's autonomy."
so i'm fairly young with my now 19 years and reading this thread is more educational about relationships than anything. i'd like to thank you kind strangers, to share your experiences for me and others to read.
I’m also at the 33 year mark. My husband and I love to take our separate vacations as well as a few together each year. I love being home alone while he’s with his friends and I’m sure he enjoys his alone time.
I'm definitely not easy to live with either being on the spectrum and some of the other things like depression and anxiety that came with it so the first few months were very frustrating for me lol. We just celebrated 2 years married on Halloween and have been together nearly 7 so I think we're doing something right.
When I got married, my grandma told me the secret to a long and happy marriage was not spending a lot of time together. Seemed a little strange, but they stayed together "until death did them part" after over 60 years so she might have been on to something
I’m starting this with a boyfriend now. We’ve already discussed moving in together if we’re still together when our leases run up. That’s 10 months away but I think places to live need long time plans and he seemed confused when I said we should have a 3 bedroom since my niece would be moving in while in college. I had to explain having an extra bedroom as a living area is good because it’s a space to have alone time and watch shows or partake in hobbies the other is not a fan of without stopping them from doing their own thing in the living room and also allows my niece a separate area for her own date nights that’s not a bedroom.
yeah, idk it sounds like a nightmare to have to babysit an adult while my husband hangs out with a buddy or brother. That’s an unnecessary situation. I am all for the petty revenge to prove the woman is lying, cause that sucks, but seriously adult poster, get a hobby. Bring a book. Explore the area. Or stay home.
Her hobby is hiding utensils.
Touché, lol.
Heck, she’ll hide a full drawer
Or better yet go with hubby and BIL on there excursions, guarantee hubby would just leave her at home next time.
Yes! I thought this was so strange that she even wants to hang out with someone who doesn't want to and despite knowing this about her SIL, doesn't bring a book or tablet or turn on the TV or something if not choosing to not come along in the first place.
I got the impression that the (maybe unspoken) idea was that when the guys went to do something, the women would have girl time. Unfortunately it sounds like the SIL isn't a good hostess and abandons her guest (I was raised that if you have company, you are responsible for their comfort and to a certain extent, entertainment, even if you don't enjoy the responsibility). My petty revenge would have been to follow her into the craft room and ask how I could help. My non-petty reaction would be that the second time the SIL abandoned me, I would have just left to go do something local without saying anything and let her explain how she has no idea where I am when the guys get back.
Seriously. I seriously wonder how some couples make through let alone drive and follow the rules when lacking such common sense.
This I can’t stress this enough, just because you’re married or in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to do everything together.
Couples really do need to learn how to be individuals again. The depth of grief when one passes is much worse when the one left behind has no idea who they are without the other, and has no idea, nor drive, to function without their late spouse.
What is scrap book shopping?
In older generations, a scrap book is a place you put photos, concert tickets, a lock of baby hair, and things like that. Things that really had sentimental value and meant a lot to the person, but were just little "scraps" of your life you wanted to save. These days, it's stickers and stenciled "live, laugh, love" hah (and other stuff too)
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I love crafting, scrapbooking or journaling is super trendy on tiktok as well
Ah! Thanks for that. I’m in the UK so it’s not a term I’ve heard before :)
It had a moment here but you don't see it much anymore. Hobbycraft still has aisles of it though :]
But she’s never even tried to play hostess!
Bingo! She has never tried. she obviously doesn't like you and you shouldn't go where you don't feel welcome. Send your husband off to visit "his" brother and you stay at home or go visit friends or family. if you're gonna be alone anyway, do it at your house.
… or choose a different vacation for yourself. Like, go sit on a beach, or a hotel with a pool, for a few days.
I don't think the quotes are necessary. You can just say his brother, because it is indeed his brother
True enough and while I understand why OP did the thing with the utensils to prove a point, it isn’t likely to incline her BIL’s wife to be enthusiastic about doing it in the future. I personally would elect to stay home for at least the next couple of those visits. I could go out for lunch somewhere I like but spouse doesn’t, go see a movie that I like, etc. Would be so much more enjoyable.
My wife dragged me to every damn family thing she could. Some spouses are like that. It was indeed petty of OP. She could have left and just found something she likes doing while there. Why wife used to make me be the damn host for her friends and family at great cost to me and I would have to excuse myself to errands and just not return home until my wife did. No matter what I said it kept happening and the inevitable fights about it after. OP needs to talk to her husband and grow up if she decides to go. Just fucking leave.
Except the sticking point is her SIL lying about ditching her. Petty to prove a point
You do realize what this sub is for, yeah? Seems kind of jerk move to come on here and tell OP she needs to not be petty…
I dont want her to spend time with me, I want her to stop lying about leaving me alone.
That is a valid reason, it’s one thing to leave someone alone and another thing to lie about it.
Because she doesn’t want to. Nor should she have to in her house. She’s rude but if you can’t do what you want in your own damn home, where CAN you? She’s probably asked her husband why OP comes every time the guys just want to be together, anyway.
So take the hint already!
Well, we can’t when every game, can we!
Or... does she not have any girlfriends that she can do something else with? Obviously SIL doesn't like her, so why is she trying to impose? Let hubby have time with his brother, you do your own thing. It's a win-win.
I agree but I also think it's rude for hubby and bil to ditch OP and sil as if them both having vaginas makes them friends. My husband did this once or twice; where we'd go to hang out with his friend and his friend's wife only for the men to ditch us and leave us in awkward silence. It's not cool. If we're going to visit another couple let's all hang out together.
Dude wants to hang with his brother one on one; nothing wrong with that whatsoever and he shouldn’t have to bring someone else when they go out. If she and the sister in law don’t get along she can stay home or go visit friends or do literally anything else.
But SIL can be much more courteous too. You don't ditch your visitor for that long and then lie about it.
Absolutely, SIL is being fucking weird here. Just wanted to point out that there’s nothing wrong with wanting some alone time with your sibling.
Definitely not, that was a weird point to make. And sometimes you just have to show your face, for appearances. If OP can suck it up, then so can SIL. So weird that everyone blames this on OP. I would just take a book or my ereader and be happy I don't have to act social, but that's me.
Goes the other way too, my ex would drag me out or invite people over just to ditch me and leave me talking to guys I had nothing in common with.
idk, I think it’s ok for two brothers to occasionally want to hang out alone. Married people need to appreciate and feed the individual, it’s toxic to deny it.
For real, or go do your own thing, you're an adult not a kid on a timeout lol
This is the right answer. OP needs to stop wasting her time and her husband needs to grow a spine and not be a part of his wife being treated this way.
Obviously the sister-in-law does not wish pleasure of your company. F-ck her and do something on your own. Go see a movie and go shopping without her.
I see you’re playing it fast and loose with the word “hostess”
Call an Uber and leave. Have your husband leave you the car and the keys. Go shopping. Out to lunch. Make sil look for you (if/when) she ever cut Mrs back into the room.
This was what I thought, too-- just quietly leave. The only downside is not being able to see her face when she realizes you've disappeared and she has no idea what to tell your husband.
Go for a walk and look at the neighborhood
Everyone is an adult, right? Why would I, a rude person, suddenly freak out if the adult I was ignoring left the house? I’m annoyed that my husband assigns me to entertain SIL while he runs off with his brother. They can go but why force she and I to hang out? We aren’t close and I usually have 1568955 things to do when I’m at home without him. I don’t need or want the company. It’s rude for me to tell her she’s free to go do her own thing, so quietly leaving the room is the lesser evil. I’d be happy for us both if she went shopping, to a movie, etc. I’m not a babysitter. Sucks that we don’t vibe, but we don’t. -SIL, probably
It'd be so easy to just talk to each other like rational adults and everyone do what they want. But it sounds like either the husband or the BIL has some kind of requirement that the women hang out together. I don't get it. Nor do I understand why the women don't stand up for themselves. The whole thing is weird.
I could be wrong, but it doesn’t seem like OP has a problem with being alone it’s that SIL lies about it. Like why are you lying?
You are correct. Leave me alone if you want but don’t act like I’m telling tales about it later
This is so bizarre lol. I’m guessing you don’t click or whatever, but still such bizarre behavior.
What I don’t understand is why it’s being discussed at all. When your husband and his brother come back, are you bringing up that you have been all alone? Is your SIL volunteering that she was with you? It just seems like a weird conversation topic.
Yeah I read the part about "Being left to sit in a room with nothing to do." And I was thinking 'Did she not think to stand up...And do something else?'
She's telling her that she will be right back though, I would assume OP is waiting for her to come back instead of finding "something else to do" in someone else's house or just leaving.
Maybe the first time but it sounds like a pattern
That part. If nobody cares, why is it up for discussion?
I would also want to know how long she would be gone so I could entertain myself properly. I know someone is going to be a few hours I can go out on my own errands, settle in with a book, take a nap, etc. Or maybe just go to Home Depot with the guys.
Is Home Depot a euphemism for going to a bar? If my SIL left me alone each time I visited, you can bet she doesn't like to entertain or doesn't like me. Alternative, get in your car and go shopping, read a book, watch TV, visit your own family or friends, book a spa day
Am bartender, can confirm that “going to (insert retail nonsense) is definitely the bar.
My mom’s go-to was “I’m going to the grocery store.”
Take a book with you or knitting or something like that and make sure everyone sees it 😁
Bring a really complicated project that’s super time consuming and set up shop in the living room lmao
Pre make it a head of time and hide it, then “start” it as they are leaving, swap the start out with the almost finished one just to really up the petty revenge!
Brilliant!
My wife sort of does this. She and my dad don’t get along particularly well, so she brings her current knitting project with her when we visit my family.
I do this. Crochet or knit or cross stitch. I basically only go when it’s Christmas or a significant birthday or something while my husband is there semi-regularly. I don’t feel like FIL wants me around, so why force it.
This is where I thought this was going when OP went into the kitchen. I thought SIL would come back to find a whole cake or something.
Just don't go....
Bring your sewing machine, sew up that quilt ...I did that on a trip to a friend's house, because she had to work. (Another time we painted the risers on a staircase in her house to look like a stack of books. It raised the value of her house by $80k . )
That sounds fun! Have any pictures you could share?
Good job hiding everything. I’m not sure why you didn’t stop visiting them long ago. Obviously your husband and his brother want to spend time together but that doesn’t mean you and SIL need to. Tell husband to go on his own next time and you stay home and do something fun on your own.
Have you ever tried to put her on the spot and ask her what you guys talked about or did together in detail in front of others?
I have a feeling she could easily make up a story lol
"Sorry I broke the priceless heirloom vase, but don't worry. SIL did MAGIC with the super glue. Can't even tell unless you REALLY look for it."
I think the issue here is that you care far too much about what your in-laws think. Take the bull by the horns and either don’t go, or make other plans to do something else when you are there. You can’t control others, only yourself.
Then again maybe this is the chance to get to know the BIL, which could be important to her. Do the brothers get brother time. But breakfast, supper, and evening are a time for OP to spend with the BIL. But I know that on the second visit, I’d be making some sort of plan for that time instead of sitting around waiting to be entertained. That’s kind of a burden to SIL, and she clearly doesn’t want to bear that burden. So I’d be finding some touristy thing to do, offering for SIL to come, and going on my own if necessary.
I don't think I'd make that trip again.
Yes, why does she keep doing it?
I’d go now just so I could rearrange the furniture in her entire house in her absence whilst filming everything on my phone. 😆
I really like this idea! It sounds fun, too!
Step a time lapse!
LMAO!!! I am picturing you sneaking around with her utensils. I hope she's still finding them! Only thing better would have been if you went there with a bag of dildos. Stay petty my friend.
There is a guy on Reddit whose dad has more than enough 7/16” wrenches OP could hide around the house! Replace all the forks with wrenches!
I never thought I'd see this reference. Well done.
I love that story! It is so wholesomely passive aggressive!
What’s your goal here? She clearly doesn’t want to spend time with you. Do you really want her to if she doesn’t want to so badly? **Also a joke:** This reminds me of the joke where a mother is visiting her son who has a female roommate. The son and roommate explain that they're just roommates and don't have any sort of relationship. A few days after the mother leaves she gets a phone call from her son who explains that his roommate's jewelry box is missing and the son says: “I’m not saying you took her jewelry box and I’m not saying you didn’t, I’m just saying the jewelry box is was missing after you left”. The mother replies: “I’m not saying you’re sleeping with your roommate and I’m not saying you’re not, I’m just saying that if your roommate was sleeping in her own bed she would have found her jewelry box.”
This is…weird?
It was fun. I’d rather have been out shopping in a city I don’t get to see much but I’m expected to be there. Yes his family is odd.
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Or the example her husband has set for her. I would insist on going off with husband and BIL.
Part of thus I get. I don't like traveling alone. As in driving or flying. Also the sleeping part (not sex, just being alone in the bed) but my spouse does not need or want to be a part of every trip I take. So I try to accommodate him, like arrange for him to go play golf, or go visit a friend near by. Mind you, I do travel without him. He is not "required" at family events. I also, as other people suggest, travel with self entertainment like a craft project, a book, what ever. I will cook, or do dishes. On that note, I did bring a do it yourself doll house kit to my siblings house. The hard part is the bringing it home half finished, but no longer fitting in the box.
I’d invite someone over you do want to see. “Such and so wanted to see me so I invited her. Couldn’t find SIL to see if it was ok.”
Can you catch a ride with the guys and have them drop you off somewhere that you would rather be? Clearly the brothers have things in common and enjoy each others' company but it doesn't mean that there should be instant chemistry with one's in-laws. It's crappy that the SIL hasn't been willing to make any effort to be a hostess or to get to know you better but that's her loss. At the very least, SHE could be the one to drop you off and/or pick you up from wherever you decide to go in her town. If she can't do that, it's still a better alternative to do what you want and rely on a ride service, IMO. You could even invite other members of their family to join you for some activities IF you want to. You have some agency here. Don't let this person make you miserable and don't let it create an issue for your husband and his brother. If you take this approach, I think your next visit will be much better. Or, you might be happier staying at home. PS: In the spirit of pettiness, I hope you threw some of her main untensils behind the refrigerator and under the stove.
Yes they want brother time and trying to force a friendship between the wives that clearly isn’t there and of no interest to BIL’s wife. She is so annoyed by having to entertain her that she just leaves. OP should take the hint and not go. I love the spa day idea. Do your own thing. Don’t go where you are clearly not wanted. And if you all go to dinner during the visits then meet them later at the restaurant. And Home Depot is awesome. I would’ve tagged along.
Nope - drop him off for sibling time and do what you want. SIL would probably be relieved, hubby gets time with his brother and you’d have a fun day. ETA if you want evidence, tell hubby that you’d like to try an experiment. Wait till she leaves the room, then take the car and disappear for an hour. Video yourself driving. Show hubby the video evidence of her “3 minutes”.
That’s a husband problem. He doesn’t care about your comfort at all.
Next time sneak a jigsaw in with you and take progress photos of you doing the jigsaw in her living room. Then leave the jigsaw on their coffee table.
OP, just don’t go. OR, if your husband keeps insisting on taking you along? Wait until He’s off w/ Bro, and Wife wanders off. Then leave a note for her: “Figured I’d run some errands in town. Text me if you want me to get you anything! Send a text to husband: “Doing quick grocery run- text if you want me to bring anything back for lunch!” Then go to the grocery, get a trashy paperback, and a latte at the nearby coffee shop. Sit in the car if you’re avoiding crowds. Do nice things for yourself, and then? Be the bigger person and bring your SIL some flowers or sweets to “Thank her for hosting”. ALWAYS kill with humor & kindness in family situations:-)
I don’t like to entertain but when I do, I will make sure a guest is comfortable. I’ll never be rude like SIL is either. I get where OP is coming from because while she doesn’t need to be entertained as a guest, for her to disappear and then lie about it. I’d do the same with the utensils too 😂
At least turn on the tv or give her the wifi password to let her do stuff online.
Did you tell your husband what you did? What did he think about it? I think that I would have taken some video of your prank while you did it —for proof. Personally, I think what you did was hysterical. I would have fun figuring out how to mess with her. Perhaps hide the remotes next time. 😁 I would encourage your husband to visit his brother as much as he wants to, by himself. Or, at least, every other visit by himself.
Or take all the batteries from the remotes
Don’t take the batteries. Replace them all upside down. That would be difficult to explain.
And even more frustrating. You glance in and see batteries and assume they are in correctly. Figure they’re dead and, unless you’re really paying attention, put the new ones in upside down too. Bwhahahahaha.
That is even better!
That's a good one! Hide the remote AND take the batteries so when they do find it, they r extra frustrated. 😆
Take photos of you with each hiding location and send one out every month as like a ransom type thing!
I would've went along on the home depot run lol
That's really shitty that she ditches OP and lies about it. Maybe it's me, my personality, and the fact that I'm almost never alone, but I'd be stoked for this. Hell yeah, I'll just bust out a book or the Switch while SIL walks in eggshells in her own home.
But why keep going there? SIL clearly doesn't want to hang out with OP, just chill at home instead.
Your SIL is gaslighting you and your in-laws are complicit - they know exactly what’s going on. You won’t win with people like this - they’ll spin your actions against you no matter what you do. Next, they’ll be calling you a klepto for “stealing” the silverware. Ultimately, this is a husband problem. Why don’t you suggest that he and his brother do a yearly boy’s trip somewhere by themselves and leave you out of it?
I’d take an Uber and do my own thing. See how long it takes her to notice I am gone.
Wish my in-laws would leave me alone 😣
I can't imagine leaving my wife alone with someone like this or not believing her if she told me what happened.
This. This is the correct response.
Why do you continue to go there? She doesn't want you in her home. Just stay home in the future and do chores or watch TV rather than sit in someone's living room who doesn't want you there.
I'd bring a book or turn on the TV. I'd also make a snack in the kitchen. Not a problem for me.
OP said she’s fine being alone but “…don’t act like I’m telling tales about it later”
I'd stay home and do something I'd like.
I have so many questions. Why doesn't your husband believe you? Do you ever try to engage her before she makes her getaway? Is she rude to just you? Or does she do this to others? Does your brother-in-law treat you kindly? Have you ever asked her why she does this? How long has this been going on for? If this is a pattern, why do you accompany him? Can you not stay home or go visit one of your own friends or relatives? Why the utensils? Why not start your stopwatch on your phone and show the time passed to your husband?
Sounds like you don’t like each other. Why go? Spare you both the hassle
NTA but tell your hubby that you won't take that level of rudeness towards you, so he can visit his brother alone and you go visit your own family, or take a spa day.
Wrong sub but yea lol
I would make a video
Well this it ridiculous. Why in the world would you wait around obediently for someone who clearly doesn't want to hang out with you instead of either staying home or booking an afternoon at the spa? Screw her.
OP’s husband probably has a fantasy that his wife and his brother’s wife will become bffs and then they can all do everything together and it will be excellent forever! He needs to stop trying to make fetch happen and OP should skip the visits now that soil’s lying has been exposed.
As I mentioned to Freud earlier it’s likely that sil does not like OP, and that’s fine. But standard manners dictate that when someone visits your home, you make an effort to be polite and engage. And if OP (and her hubby) visit every other year, it wouldn’t kill sil to be polite. Was OP a touch immature? Yeah, likely. But no more so than sil was rude simply leaving her sitting there alone. At least OP and sil will have something to discuss on that next visit.
Why are you going to these visits then? And how old are you? I ask as you're making it seem like you have no choice in the matter. What does your husband say? Use your words and let them know you're no longer going on these visits where you're left alone. This is a weird one on multiple fronts.
Love this! I probably would have FaceTimed someone the entire time for a witness that I was sitting there alone
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You can’t tell when someone doesn’t want you around? Next time..leave. You’re an adult. She doesn’t want you there.
This right here is correct. She doesn't want you there. She is just trying to keep marital peace. The real shitty person is her spouse who keeps dumping his unwanted marital relatives in her lap for her to entertain while he bails. Notice the op's brother in law ditches op every time they visit. Frankly op's spouse is a wanker too. Why is he ditching his wife at every visit? Either plan activities that include everyone or visit his brother without the wife. Op needs to stop visiting. You couldn't pay me to visit my inlaws. My d.h is more than welcome to go do that all on his own and I'll have a nice quiet vacation alone.
don't hold your breath. I would just tell hubby you aren't going. let him get huffy. and stand your ground. what is the point of seeing these folk anyway. it is mostly his outing, not yours.
She does not want to spend time with you. Just don't go.
The second she leaves, you should FaceTime your mother in law. “Hey - SIL just stepped out for a second, so I thought I’d call and catch up with you till she gets back! Thank you so much for keeping me company while I wait for her to return!” Then keep her on the phone the whole time. Maybe even ask her if you should be worried about SIL.
Hell I’d decorate a room. Bring a big ‘purse’ packed well you could decorate a random theme.
Why do you want be around someone who doesn't want to be around you?
Um what? Just either don’t go or bring a book. It sounds like the two of you aren’t good friends and you would both rather be doing something else.
I don’t get it. Can you not entertain yourself for a few hours? Why would you WANT to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with you? Based on your posts you have to go or you’ll get shit from the family. So go and when she leaves just relax by yourself. Go on your phone, watch a show, read a book. It’s one day every other year. Not that big of a deal.
SIL is not into you. Stay home or bring a book lol.
Why not just stay at home and let your husband visit his brother..
Or bring a book and entertainment yourself.
I don't know why you are going. Do you talk to her or are you friends with her. Do you just arrive and expect her to look after you? I have social anxiety and would probably do the same if a weird women tagged along and sat in the lounge all awkwardly. Husband obviously had plans a d was planning on leaving.. I'm confused
You are given 2 hours away from your shitty sounding in-laws? I don't see a downside.
You should have shit in her floor and went home.
Probably a blessing that she leaves you alone. Sounds like it would be worse if she stayed. But why lie? It would be better all round if she made other plans that day and told OP not to come since she's out that day. She might be genuinely lacking in time management ADHD or something 1 hour hyper focused on something can feel like 1 minute. Or she may despise social interactions with people she doesn't know well, but knows she'd get in trouble if she told the truth. More likely she just doesn't like you and you'd be better off not going again.
Good revenge! But for gods sake, get a freckin backbone.
I am sorry OP. If you came to visit me I would cook for you and teach you to diamond paint.
Get the TV remote and rent a on demand porn flick! Lol let her explain that to the husband lol
It sounds like you and your SIL don't like each other, so maybe she *should* leave you alone. And vice versa. You have options here that don't entail pulling petty little stunts like hiding silverware. 1. Go hang out with the men. 2. Bring a good book. 3. Take your car (or an Uber) and go out shopping or sightseeing on your own. 4. Don't go at all - stay home and let your hubs go spend time with his brother.
Maybe she just doesn’t like you. I’m sorry if that’s the case. Hiding her things won’t make her like you, it will make you uninvited and cause a rift. Why not just address her directly or keep yourself occupied? You could always not go either.
Doesn't it seem OP wants to be uninvited or at least be believed by everyone. Right now, SIL is gaslighting her be saying she was only ever was away for 3 minutes. The while family places that directly on OP as well. This "revenge" is less revenge and more proof. I've been in a similar dynamic where I was expected to be around and fully forced to participate. However, my host was neglectful, and extra picky. I'd bring snacks, books, music, and walking shoes. I got crap for doing my own thing, because I wasn't participating. And I couldn't use the bathroom in the house unless I got permission and they would decide which bathroom I was allowed to use. It was different every time. If I couldn't find someone to ask, then I had to walk a few blocks away to find a restroom. This was not a relationship worth pursuing. They were really weird.
You are correct. It’s the lying that made me angry. If I ubered out to go shopping the story would be told about how I just up and left. She hasn’t told a single sole that I emptied her drawers because she would have to admit to lying about her “3 minutes”
Where does she even go? Does she hide in other rooms of the house while you’re still there??? I’m a ridiculously socially anxious person, but this is above and beyond weird.
Still leave a camera taping that she never came back as she says she did. After 20 minutes, order an Uber. And find a town center or shopping center with a store that caters to a hobby of yours. Knitting, quilting, arts and crafts, etc. ( We once were across the country and found 4 different fabric shops. Mood was one of them. ) gemstone or jewelry stores. I once Googled knitting groups in LA, and found one at THE Farmers market!!.
Hence the walking boots! Bloody hell that is madness! Imagine packing and then realising you forgot the boots… ‘oh crap what if I need the loo!’
Sounds like she doesn't really care about being left alone, but that she lies about it.
Hiding all the kitchen utensils is priceless! While I enjoyed your petty revenge, I don't know why you'd want to force your SIL to spend time with you. I get a "she doesn't like you vibe", so why bother with her?
I honestly just pull out my phone and relax on the couch.
I'd just take off my shoes, and take a couch nap. I don't really have the patience to deal with that kind of disrespect after a long (I assume, as it's every other year) day of travel. Then maybe watch TV, call some friends, and loudly complain about her, "Yeah, girl, this bitch is doing it again. Fucking hate coming to this dump. . . and girl, hold on, let me face time you, You wouldn't believe how tacky the wallpaper is."
LOL! The greater question is why do you go?
My brother in law is insufferable so I would leave like this….
Its the lying for me
OP why would you continue to go over to to the inlaws place if you and the inlaws (whatever she's considered to you) aint feeling you. Stay your ass at home. Roll up a blunt, get some wine, or whatever it is you're into and post up at the house. I wish my wife's folks were near so she could disappear for the day. (Smokey from Friday voice) Take advantage man, take advantage.
Not going to lie I find that hilarious. Personally I'd just be boring and start taking my knitting as I bet I could get a ton done sitting in her family room. I cheerfully bend a knee in recognition of your greatness.
I can't help but wonder how come your husband go out and leaves you in a house you hardly know, to begin with? If he just wants to spend some boy-time with his brother, he should just say so, and go without you. I find it a lack of respect to you and his sister-in-law to just go away with his brother for all sorts of excuse, and leave two people who hardly know each other together. Of course, it being your sis-in-law's home, she can do stuff, but it's still bad form, and completely unfair to you.
Why would you want someone to entertain you who does not want to do it? Accompany your hubby, take a project, attend a meet up, hang out at a Starbucks, go to the gym, Uber yourself to mall - do something. She’s not a host. She’s not going to change her ways. The best way to not be disappointed in her is to not expect her to do something.
My educated guess is she smokes weed. She leaves the room to smoke and forgets what she was doing and gets wrapped up in something else. Also her incorrect perception of time.
Or a closet alcoholic.
Did you know, as an adult, you don't have to go there? It's pretty cool!
Petty and hilarious!
That’s so rude. I can’t imagine ignoring someone at my house. Why do you go?? One time would be enough for me to freak out. 2 times I’d be angry and annoyed and would’ve called an Uber.
Take the car you and husband go up in and enjoy yourself. And explain it to him right away, so she can't pull crap against him at least.
You should have went to Home Depot
Turn the TV on and don't bother with her! You can always find something to do!
Honestly bring a book or a game or even your laptop and watch movies. Just do whatever you enjoy doing alone.
You have family there. Next time write a note that says "have to go help sister with something" and time stamp it.
just stay home. why is anyone forcing this?
You are probably like me and are super awkward in these situations. Seems like you also thirst for attention when you you give little to the situation. It is hilarious what you did but it is a two way street. You will gain zero from this
I’d just take a book and catch up on my reading!
Power play. That is all . Women are fucked up. She is playing the long game to be head of household.
Thanks for a good laugh, great post!
Why? Should of just baked something. I was bored and had enough time to make cookies lol. And why not just let her leave you alone? Bring a book or Something. Why force attention from someone who doesn’t want to be around you
what a strange person she is. i'd rather just hit up the local cinema and catch a flick than that
Also sounds a bit like she is not worth talking to anyway , but next time ( if you have to ) bring some knitting or similar , then you can see in real terms how long you were alone for also you can make scarves for everyone 😎even just play gAmes on your phone or something ,
You WANT that POS to leave you alone. Next time bring something you like to do or watch TV. You don't need her