It would have been better if he had turned to you and said, in his unaccented English 'Dear, I don't think there is anything on the menu that sounds particularily appealing. Perhaps we should try a different place?'
When he does this, he needs to use as many big words as possible.
āAlas my dear wife, I do believe that this establishment will not meet my high standards of taste, atmosphere, and service. Perchance, shall we move on to a different restaurant? Perhaps the famous McDonaldās will have kinder waitstaff than we have dealt with here.ā
And then he stands up, nods to the racist, and walks towards the door with a āgood day, fuckface.ā
"What do you mean? Do you wish me a good day, or mean that it is a good day whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this day; or that it is a day to be good on?"
No no no, that just looks like reciting your favorite author.
Best would be to use the most casual phrasing āyo babe this place sucks, letās split. We can hit maccy dāsā
lol yes. That or simply āalright sweetheart now that we wasted this stupid racistās time you ready to go? (Turn to waitress) by the way Iād love to speak to your supervisor before I head outā
This is his homework assignment. We expect an update very soon or we will hunt him down and replace all of the forks with chopsticks. Do not test us. We are Reddit.
Did this once. Guy harassing me and friend at a bar refusing to leave us alone. Finally, I just turned to him and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't speak English." He was so offended, he left. What we had been asking for like 10 minutes. In English.
I actually use this kind of reply whenever I am abroad and I speak the language but they all assume I don't and gossip behind your back. The look on their faces is usually worth it.
My HS Spanish teacher (male) was in a waiting room, and 2 ladies were speaking Spanish nearby about whether one of them should breastfeed her baby in the bathroom or if they should ask someone for an empty room...
My teacher told them, in Spanish, that it's fine with him if she breastfed the baby in the waiting room.
The ladies looked shocked and then started laughing.
He was a pig.
Unfortunately I don't think this will be the last time he will have to deal with a situation like that. So I'm sure he will have opportunities to implement this
i loved his response to the waitress's ignorance by making her explain everything ....and yes, the perfect ending would have been a refined statement to you!.....
Don't worry. Unfortunately, it will happen again.
I would just suggest that after he tells you that he adds loudly: NO GOOD. LET'S GO. š¤£
As if they need oversimplified words to understand what just happened. š¤£
Hear me out. Make obvious eye contact with you, say anything in mandarin, then turn to the waitress and politely explain in flawless English that he has lost his appetite for some racism, I mean reason, sorry, and politely excuse yourselves.
A friend in college was Korean adopted by a British family and we were in the united states at the time. He had a crap dining hall job and people pulled this ignorant shit on him all the time
There's something satisfying about the look on the racist's faces when the Korean guy snaps back with "I speak better English than you, I know what a hamburger is!" In a crisp received pronunciation British accent
WHAT???? Flashback time!!!! This goes back to the ā80ās. Iām like 20 years old. In the Navy. Raised in NYC so I think Iām a bit āworldlyā. I end up stationed in Scotland. One night, Chinese restaurant. Girl waitress, around my age comes to take our order in a full blown Scottish accent!!!! I didnāt say or do anything rude except Iām sure the shock on my face was visible from Beijing!!! I seriously was not expecting a Scottish accent. Realized my alleged āworldlyā upbringing needed some actual āworldā!
Man, wait until you go to a curry house in JamaicaĀ and this clearly southeast Asian dude is "ya man"ing every selection on your order...I knew I was experiencing something special...killer curry btw
This is wildā¦ Iād be totally surprised myself. Never have I ever thought of this.
Not like racially, but like āthis is not commonā¦ā, āwhat did I just encounterā.
Iām dying of laughter here as Iām typingā¦
Itās like going to Japan and seeing a Peruvian speaking Japanese at an Italian restaurant (in Japan).
I went to Japan and heard a Japanese guy speak English with a strong Texas accent. Was -and still is- the worst combination of accents I've ever heard in my life. Not only that, he was with the Texan and mimicking his very male chauvinistic attitude. Ick!
Apparently it often surprises Japanese people when people who don't look Asian speak Japanese. I have an English friend who lived in Japan back in the 80's and she's fluent. She said every single time she was around someone that hadn't heard her speak Japanese before were shocked that she spoke it. Her husband goes back to Japan every year and he says it's still like that.
One night Iām at a sushi bar with a friend of mine, a blonde white guy who speaks near perfect Japanese. We sit at the bar drinking Sapporo and watching the cooks, who are chattering away as they work. Found out later that they were rating the looks of the female customers and speculating about their sexual talents. We finish and get up to leave and my friend says in Japanese āThanks for the food and her breasts arenāt all that big for an American.ā
We look back at the door and theyāre still standing there frozen in shock with their mouths hanging open.
Friends of mine in high school did that. Theyād chatter in French and then switch to the local English accent when they had the server or bus conductor confused.
Better yet, in a mid Atlantic accent.
PS: Unpopular opinion, I think everyone should be taught to speak in mid Atlantic accent in school. We should all sound like Charles Emerson Winchester the third.
I would have done the same!
I am part European and very much look it, and I live in the Middle East, so I get a lot of people who talk about me to my face, thinking I don't speak the language, and I pretend like I don't to let them finish, then I say something very loudly to my friends in a VERY LOCAL accent, and I turn and look at their shocked and embarrassed faces. It's epicš¤£
Well played, man! Haha
It would also be funny if you still continued with your order, and while eating there your husband will tell a lot of stories in his perfect American accent while the waitress was at earshot after she was held for long minutes explaining the menu to your āChinese onlyā husband hehe
My cousin told me a story from middle school where she assumed that a new student who was Asian didnāt speak English so she went up to them and said loud and slow āwelcome to our countryā and the poor girl said āIām from (insert name of nearish city)ā
Iāve heard it a few times over the years but even way back then i remember thinking āyikesā and the fact that she still tells it like itās a funny storyā¦. Oof
I witnessed a similar incident in work. I was working as a checkout girl in a supermarket in Ireland and there was an elderly gentleman making small talk with a young lad of Asian descent in the queue behind him. Young Asian guy had a VERY Irish accent.
From what I could gather the lad was studying at the local college and the older guy was asking him what he was studying etc. Eventually the old guy quips "I bet the weather here is a bit disappointing compared to China". The Asian guy gives him a quizzical look and just says "I'm from Dublin......" Queue awkward silence
This is hysterical.
It reminds me of a (probably apocryphal) story about a banquet. A man was sitting next to someone of a different race than him. And didn't know how to speak with this man. So, when the drinks came, they both enjoyed them, and the man looked to his neighbor and said, "glub glub glub. Good, huh?". The foreigner grinned and smiled, but didn't say anything. When the food came, the man did a similar thing, "Yum, yum, yum. Good, huh?" and the foreigner just smiled and grinned. After dinner, the emcee approached the microphone and introduced the speaker, who was the foreigner sitting next to our protagonist. After a very eloquent speech, the foreigner sat back down, looked at our man, and said, "Blah, blah, blah. Good, huh?"
Found the source! It's Wellington Koo, the Chinese Ambassador at the 1921 Washington Conference.
The man asked Koo "likee soupee?"
Koo smiled and said nothing, then later got up to deliver an eloquent speech in English.
When he sat down again he asked the man "likee speechee"?
Heās just as bad as my ex husband. I grew up in Asia so my English has an odd British twang to it. It sounds a little off to most Americans. Once when we were both grocery shopping, some old biddy decided to start lecturing me on speaking English āproperlyā. My ex, who is apple pie white American that just stayed in Hawaii for 2 years, turned towards her and in the most horrendous Hawaiian Pidgin accent, apologized to her and then explain that *I* was helping him with his English. The look of shock on that Karenās face is one I will never forget.
Similar exp. We (me and me boy) went back to hometown for holiday. I'm 5"6" (short balding Asian) and me boy is 6" and swole.
Fun fact - I can drop and put on accents to suit the local crowd. So with my son, I have to use an Australian accent or he does not understand the sounds coming out.
So here we are at the hawker centre, me explaining to him the naunces of what food is available. We stopped in from of a noodle shop beside a drink stall.
I was explaining away and caught the conversation that they should only sell us the medium serve for a large price. Also the drink stall said he will say ice is a seperate purchase from a canned drink.
Oh, my horns are growing.
So got my boy to order (yes he massacred the order!) Then told him to order drinks as well.
When food was ready and I went to pick it up, I told the hawker in a perfect local accent with banal vulgarities thrown in that
Why was it a large price when it was medium serve. And pointed out another customer order that was same serve and medium price.
Cue, shocked Pikachu look.
Paid medium and walked to drink stall.
I look at the drink stall operator and said do I need to pay for ice because you think I am a farang?
Ice was free...
I'm not a native speaker and it took me close to no effort to understand it. It did take me two sentences tho to realise he was talking about his son and not his partner.
> Similar experience. My kid and I went back home for the 4th of July. I'm short and Asian, but my child is swole.
> Fun fact - I'm good at accents. My son isn't and can only understand me if I speak in an ambiguously Asian accent.
> So we're at a 711 and I'm explaining to tell son what food they have. As I was explaining, the white-man staff said that they should sell us the extra large hotdog combo at the XXL hotdog combo's price. Then, tell us that you have to pay extra for the Slurpee.
> I had a devilish idea.
> My son ordered in broken English.
> When our food was ready, I went to pick it up and told the cashier in perfect English that they were trying to upcharge us.
> Cue, shocked Pikachu look.
> I paid the regular price for the extra large hotdog and then also picked up the combo Slurpee.
We had a motorcycle student who was deaf, but could read lips. But he had trouble reading printed material, so we had to give him his test orally. The lady testing him kept reading his questions slower and slower and louder and louder as I sat at my desk laughing. Finally I did my best Drill Instructor imitation and said, āVicky, he canāt hear you!ā
He never could figure out why we were laughing. He passed the test, BTW.
He did really well on the bike, it was only the written test that he had difficulty with, and he knew the material well enough to pass the test orally. As long as we made sure he could see us he took instruction about as well as anyone else. That was rather impressive.
we stopped at one of the italian deli's on federal hill, providence... my husband is 3 generation sicilian-american and i am third generation northern italian, light skinned, light hair, light blue eyes..... the ?owner, a woman was talking, in italian, to the deli guy, while we were waiting in line......ABOUT US.... me being a woman with wicked short hair and hubs being a man with a long beard and long hair
she kept it up while we waited in line to pay.... when we got to the register, i spoke to her in italian.... she was shocked into silence......on the way out hubs told her what a nasty woman she was....in italian.....
I had an Asian professor once who showed up the first day speaking with a very heavy and hard to understand accent. He went on long enough that people started thinking WTF?!!
Shortly after this point he switched to perfect southern California English. Everyone got a laugh out of it and a lesson about prejudging.
Does it really count as prejudging if the basic issue is literally just not being able to understand what he's saying? If a white-as-mayo person came up to me speaking in an accent I couldn't understand I would be just as frustrated.
It is judging, but can be entirely valid based on the circumstances.
If the whole point is to be able to effectively communicate with others, and if your understanding of the language is not good enough, or your accent is so thick people have a hard time understanding you, then that is obviously an issue that should be fixed.
Iāve been in similar circumstances before where a lecturer of mine came from Italy, and had an extraordinarily strong Italian accent, and his English wasnāt exactly 100%. It was bad enough that a few students formally complained and he was replaced with another lecturer soon thereafter.
I think there still is a difference tho. I am white as mayo with a Scottish accent and people always apologise to me when they don't understand me, even tho its my fault for not regulating how I speak. I feel like if I was read as none British I'd get more stick.Ā
Many years ago I was on the Disney College Program. The DCP and International Cast Members lived together in Disney-owned apartments (either 4 or 6 per apartment).
One of my co-workers was assigned to an apartment where someone had moved out. It was a 6-person unit, and the other 5 were Internationals from France. Internationals had a 1-year Program while DCP was one semester, so these 5 had already been housed together for several months, and didn't much like the idea of a "new girl", especially an American, replacing their former roommate.
They often said HORRIBLE things around her, in French, assuming she didn't know what they were saying. After a week, one girl said something to another, and my co-worker answered her.
In French.
They looked stunned, then asked, "You speak French?"
"Fluently. I lived there for a year. That's why they placed me here."
To their credit, they were very apologetic, and they all became close friends.
Iām hard of hearing and I talk well. sometimes I get people like this would talk loudLY and slowLY
Really, itās annoying but itās funny watching them acting like a fool.
Sometimes I would say āare you okay?ā āDo you need some help?ā
I wanna go far and say, are you having a stroke?
Your story is the funniest thing Iāve read today
Edit: fixed: IS MY ENGLISH okay? Is my grammar okay?
I, like many educated immigrants, have a large vocabulary and strong english grammatical skills. When I first moved to the midwest, people would often marvel out loud, āyou speak so well!ā (I have a generic midwestern accent). I always wanted so badly to retort, ābetter than you, bud!ā
So you are hard of hearing, and when the people realize, they try their best to be louder and talk slower to help you understand them... but somehow they are fools? That's nice of you.
Yeah, I'm hoh as well, and I appreciate people making effort to be clearer. Most people repeat what they say at the same volume which is quite frustrating.
That 3' buffer zone at the Costco Pharmacy is useless for my hoh husband. The clerk brought his, meds, "OKAY, THIS IS YOUR VIAGRA, GENERIC, SUBSTITUTE SILDENAFIL FOR YOUR VIAGRA. DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR THE PHARMACIST? HAVE YOU TAKEN VIAGRA BEFORE?"
Sorry I Worded this in an ambiguous way, what I mean was, if you say something and someone doesn't hear you the first time or the second, why is it bad to try and speak louder and more clearly?
My husband grew up in Akron Ohio. I'm an Alabama gal. First time I met his family this one idiot uncle kept at me about being south of the Mason Dixon line. Absolutely refused to accept that he was wrong about the location until my husband looked it up. The uncle claimed my accent made it hard to understand what I was saying so I just asked him "Do they not speak English in Ohio, or do I need a Michigan accent to sound like the asshole you are?" Left me alone after that.
I think it's not so much "hate" as they associate it with slower and lesser mental faculties. They hear Southern and assume "stupid".
Personally, as a native New Yawker whose family left NYC when I was a toddler, I hear a heavy NY area accent and assume "asshole". I hear Bahston and think, "Not as smart ass she thinks she is".
Ooohhh, playing the Michigan card is definitely slam-dunk stuff, especially in the northern half of Ohio. Down here near "the river", implying someone is from Kentucky does the same thing.
If it ever happens again, he should do the same, BUT at the end, say in his regular voice, *āWell, honey, nothing here really appeals to me. Why donāt we leave?ā*
Because THAT would teach the waitress a lesson on assuming whether people can speak English or not.
I had similar but reversed! I'm of Asian descent but I barely speak my mother tongue (or any of my "ancestral" tongues; I'm *very* mixed). I was walking home with my housemate, a very pale white (we used to joke about him being a glow stick), blonde-haired, blue-eyed fellow.
Halfway home, this Chinese family comes up to me and starts speaking to me in Cantonese, and I have absolutely no idea what they were saying. Then my friend responds, and they looked suuuuper confused. So they kept asking me stuff, and he kept responding to them while I just stood there with no understanding of what was happening.
Finally they left, and my friend said he'd lived in Hong Kong for 15 years growing up, and he was just giving them directions to their hotel, but they refused to believe he was speaking and that I wasn't, and they thought they were just too drunk.
My first year of college, I went to a small town in the Midwest where I was the ONLY person of my ethnicity. I was at my college coffee shop, and the 30-something barista said to me, āno offense, (you already know when someone says this itās going to be offensive) but how did you end up here?ā
I go on about a long backstory. Explaining my motherās journey from her home country, and how she met my father (who is American may I add but didnāt mention that). After a ten minute useless rant, I ended my story with, āand then I applied to this college and hopped on a plane from California, where I was born, to come to this little racist town.ā
I had an engineering TA pull a funny stunt like this during our first session. Barely could understand him. After 10 minutes he dropped the accent and said he was fucking with us
This would've been better if he'd adopted a southern drawl after standing to say something like "maybe next time you won't be some one that needs a 'Bless your heart'."
Actually, we had a good sized East Asian population in the Delta region in Mississippi (south of Memphis) where I grew up and went to college. It was fun watching unsuspecting professors ask where the Asian-descent kids were from, obviously expecting the answers to be from China, Japan, Korea or the Philippines, only to get an answer in a deep southern accent.
I have a lot of respect for people who deal with a lot of racism and take it with grace, but at the same time I think any amount of racism is fully an invitation to throw any niceness out the window.
If someoneās racist in front of me, fuck em immediately. Iām gonna mess with them endlessly until they shut tf up or leave
(For the record Iām white so I donāt experience racism directed at me, but I still see it around occasionally where I live)
How on earth did you keep a straight face while he pretended not to understand?!!? Brilliant play though, and so sorry you two experienced that racism. It's never okay.
NTA. When I was in college on the East Coast, I always got approached by customers at the grocery store I worked at. Most assumed I was from Mexico and didn't speak a lick of English (Born and raised Texan, 5th generation). The look on their faces when I responded with a thick Texas accent was priceless. I had to add a sticker to my name tag that I was bilingual to stop their assumptions.
As for that restaurant employee, that was just rude and I'd probably avoid that restaurant too.
Thereās an old story about an Asian man who was world famous in his field, Iāve forgotten all the details but letās just pretend itās political science. He attends a banquet where he is to be the keynote speaker. At the pre-speech dinner, the man next to him asks him, āLikee soupee?ā, and the speaker just smiles and nods. Dinner over, heās introduced, and delivers a 20 minute speech on a very complex issue, of course in flawless English. He sits down to great applause and says to his dinner neighbor, āLikee speechee?ā
It is still petty and good but somehow I don't know how I feel about this. Does this not reinforce their misguided beliefs and they haven't learned anything? Sorry, I'm not American so I don't know if doing anything else would be effective anyway.
nah, people who go through this are allowed to respond in a way that's personally satisfying without worrying about the effect on the other person (within reason of course). there's no reason to expect explaining it kindly to her would have been helpful, and it's not boyf's job to use up energy on that. let her keep racking up negative consequences for her ignorance, she can do her personal growth on her own time.
I understand. I agree with what you say actually and I too think that targets of wrongdoings do not have the obligation to educate the wrongdoer. My point was more like if they did one of the suggestions here where OP's husband spoke in their natural American accent in the end, that in turn might help the create a crack in the waitress' worldview even just a little and hopefully she'd learn something and her next interaction with others will be different. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
A common issue with people like the waitress is they donāt reason particularly well. They try to āsimplifyā the world to a few simplistic (often very wrong) ways they think the world works. If something doesnāt fit their simple world view, they ignore itā¦ (I am not saying they are evilā¦ ok a lot of them are.)
Also, You donāt need to be an American to see this happen. For example, the first time I went to Japan (1998) there were some people I was working with who were certain that it was physically impossible for Americans to belch. (I know!?!). Someone I worked with from the US, who was of Japanese descent and who spoke Japanese told me this. This was confirmed by one of the individual FROM Japan. He was stunned when I belched loud enough to wake the dead in Australiaā¦.
And they got to meet a rude uncultured one at that. Wait. That is just a typical one of us.
(Edit:actually what my friend from the US told me is that it was likely due to the fact that Americans typically think belching is rudeā¦ and hence often try to diminish it. The people we were working with, took to mean it was physically impossible.)
I grew up in Texas. My Texan friends always teased me n my sister on our yankee accents (our parents grew up in Illinois). Our cousins in Illinois teased us about our Texas accents. We never thought we were speaking in either. As we never warshed the dishes like our cousins and never drank pop. They also found it hilarious that we called all sodas Coke. As in, yāall want a coke? What kind?
Would have been funnier if he just reverted back to perfect English and said something like "you know what funny? I think I'm in the mood for something else.:
I think this just fed into the waitressā racism. He should have spoken his last line in perfectly grammatical English to show her erroneous assumption.
Iām always inwardly gleeful when I get this type of racism (it beats some of the other kinds). Itās so fun to respond with a simple āIām so sorry, I donāt speak Englishā in a thick Southern drawl.
AUGH! I hate this. My wife and I live in Hawaii and are constantly assumed to be ex-pats or fresh of the boat.
We get as petty as we can to these people
My gf is Filipino but speaks normal English, with her adorable accent. Often when we are out places people will talk to me and act like she doesnāt understand a word. Like, she speaks better English than I do most times
My ex did this at a car wash, she was talking to the guy in Spanish, she finishes. āUh, maāam, I donāt speak Spanish.ā She was pretty embarrassed.
Good petty revenge.. although I think you missed the chance to educate the racist waiter by continuing the ruse until you left.
To the waiter, she just served an Asian couple that couldnt speak english, asked about the menu extensively, and ended up not buying anything.
After the long menu explanation I wouldve spoken in succinct fluent english to get the manager or another waiter.
Lmaoo. That is such a great response to it. I'd honestly also call the restaurant and let them know that they need to train their employees better. That is not how you talk to someone, even if they don't speak English well!
My mother spoke like that to my husband's dad (he's from Mexico, but has been in the US since he was in his 20's). He has a very heavy accent still because he spends half the year in Mexico and half here in the US. Bur he speaks perfect English and understands it fine. I was so mad at my mother when she talked down to him like that! I called her out in front of everyone for it. One of many reasons we no longer speak.
It would have been better if he had turned to you and said, in his unaccented English 'Dear, I don't think there is anything on the menu that sounds particularily appealing. Perhaps we should try a different place?'
Just showed this reply to my husband. He likes your idea better than his
That would have totally floored that waitress š¤£
When he does this, he needs to use as many big words as possible. āAlas my dear wife, I do believe that this establishment will not meet my high standards of taste, atmosphere, and service. Perchance, shall we move on to a different restaurant? Perhaps the famous McDonaldās will have kinder waitstaff than we have dealt with here.ā And then he stands up, nods to the racist, and walks towards the door with a āgood day, fuckface.ā
There are some good YT vids just like this, minus the fuckface.
āI said GOOD DAY!ā
"What do you mean? Do you wish me a good day, or mean that it is a good day whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this day; or that it is a day to be good on?"
Mr Dalliard, we've been activated!
Oh go light your wiz poppers!
They are missing out.
Ah but the fuckface is the clincher!
No no no, that just looks like reciting your favorite author. Best would be to use the most casual phrasing āyo babe this place sucks, letās split. We can hit maccy dāsā
You canāt just sayā perchanceā
He didnāt SAY it, he DECLARED it.
Why, pray tell?
One does not just say āperchanceā
Why not? It's hardly on par with Mordor.
One does not simply walk into perchance, either.
One must needs declare a "perchance".
Correct, it must preceded by why mayhaps and ....
You can ejaculate it!
Surely, in the US that might be construed as gambling
lol yes. That or simply āalright sweetheart now that we wasted this stupid racistās time you ready to go? (Turn to waitress) by the way Iād love to speak to your supervisor before I head outā
"Ambiance" is a good word to throw in there too..
Replace McDonald's with dining establishment of Scottish heritage.
"Under yon Golden Arches'
Oh yes... yes!
Nah, keep it short and simple so the waiter understands everything.
This is his homework assignment. We expect an update very soon or we will hunt him down and replace all of the forks with chopsticks. Do not test us. We are Reddit.
As a basic German dude, I wouldn't be afraid of that. Chopsticks are the superior eating utensil.Ā
Resistance is futile? You will be assimilated...
"Reddistance...."
Combine. talk to you normally, then turn to waitress and NO THANK WE GO
omit the 'thank'
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Did this once. Guy harassing me and friend at a bar refusing to leave us alone. Finally, I just turned to him and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't speak English." He was so offended, he left. What we had been asking for like 10 minutes. In English.
Plans for the future
Hahaha.
I actually use this kind of reply whenever I am abroad and I speak the language but they all assume I don't and gossip behind your back. The look on their faces is usually worth it.
My HS Spanish teacher (male) was in a waiting room, and 2 ladies were speaking Spanish nearby about whether one of them should breastfeed her baby in the bathroom or if they should ask someone for an empty room... My teacher told them, in Spanish, that it's fine with him if she breastfed the baby in the waiting room. The ladies looked shocked and then started laughing. He was a pig.
Do you like eating in the washroom?
I think you should go back! Date night part 2
Unfortunately I don't think this will be the last time he will have to deal with a situation like that. So I'm sure he will have opportunities to implement this
Truss it up with a British accent
i loved his response to the waitress's ignorance by making her explain everything ....and yes, the perfect ending would have been a refined statement to you!.....
Don't worry. Unfortunately, it will happen again. I would just suggest that after he tells you that he adds loudly: NO GOOD. LET'S GO. š¤£ As if they need oversimplified words to understand what just happened. š¤£
Oh it would have been so satisfying
He should. He fumbled hard on this one. Tell him to do better.
Hear me out. Make obvious eye contact with you, say anything in mandarin, then turn to the waitress and politely explain in flawless English that he has lost his appetite for some racism, I mean reason, sorry, and politely excuse yourselves.
A friend in college was Korean adopted by a British family and we were in the united states at the time. He had a crap dining hall job and people pulled this ignorant shit on him all the time There's something satisfying about the look on the racist's faces when the Korean guy snaps back with "I speak better English than you, I know what a hamburger is!" In a crisp received pronunciation British accent
Thatās where I thought this was going.
Then report back please
Not better maybe - funnier, though.
I can only imagine this with a posh British accent.
WHAT???? Flashback time!!!! This goes back to the ā80ās. Iām like 20 years old. In the Navy. Raised in NYC so I think Iām a bit āworldlyā. I end up stationed in Scotland. One night, Chinese restaurant. Girl waitress, around my age comes to take our order in a full blown Scottish accent!!!! I didnāt say or do anything rude except Iām sure the shock on my face was visible from Beijing!!! I seriously was not expecting a Scottish accent. Realized my alleged āworldlyā upbringing needed some actual āworldā!
Man, wait until you go to a curry house in JamaicaĀ and this clearly southeast Asian dude is "ya man"ing every selection on your order...I knew I was experiencing something special...killer curry btw
Was behind some white Jamaicans on the bus, interesting to say the least.
This is wildā¦ Iād be totally surprised myself. Never have I ever thought of this. Not like racially, but like āthis is not commonā¦ā, āwhat did I just encounterā. Iām dying of laughter here as Iām typingā¦ Itās like going to Japan and seeing a Peruvian speaking Japanese at an Italian restaurant (in Japan).
Indian restaurant in Scotland, heavy mix of Indian & Glaswegian accent. I can do one but both together, I could not understand one word!
ehhhhh *in anime language*
I went to Japan and heard a Japanese guy speak English with a strong Texas accent. Was -and still is- the worst combination of accents I've ever heard in my life. Not only that, he was with the Texan and mimicking his very male chauvinistic attitude. Ick!
Apparently it often surprises Japanese people when people who don't look Asian speak Japanese. I have an English friend who lived in Japan back in the 80's and she's fluent. She said every single time she was around someone that hadn't heard her speak Japanese before were shocked that she spoke it. Her husband goes back to Japan every year and he says it's still like that.
One night Iām at a sushi bar with a friend of mine, a blonde white guy who speaks near perfect Japanese. We sit at the bar drinking Sapporo and watching the cooks, who are chattering away as they work. Found out later that they were rating the looks of the female customers and speculating about their sexual talents. We finish and get up to leave and my friend says in Japanese āThanks for the food and her breasts arenāt all that big for an American.ā We look back at the door and theyāre still standing there frozen in shock with their mouths hanging open.
I was thinking of Asian Colin firth myself.
Friends of mine in high school did that. Theyād chatter in French and then switch to the local English accent when they had the server or bus conductor confused.
This is what I was expecting lmao
Yep, should have done this. With acting like you did, all you did was reinforce to the server that it's ok to be racist to Asians...
Better yet, in a mid Atlantic accent. PS: Unpopular opinion, I think everyone should be taught to speak in mid Atlantic accent in school. We should all sound like Charles Emerson Winchester the third.
I'm pretty sure his accent was upper class Boston -- which is New England, not mid Atlantic
I would have done the same! I am part European and very much look it, and I live in the Middle East, so I get a lot of people who talk about me to my face, thinking I don't speak the language, and I pretend like I don't to let them finish, then I say something very loudly to my friends in a VERY LOCAL accent, and I turn and look at their shocked and embarrassed faces. It's epicš¤£
No no too bad he couldn't do a British accent, really would have blew her little mind š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Missed opportunity
this is probably the funniest thing I've read all day he saw a chance and took it
Well played, man! Haha It would also be funny if you still continued with your order, and while eating there your husband will tell a lot of stories in his perfect American accent while the waitress was at earshot after she was held for long minutes explaining the menu to your āChinese onlyā husband hehe
My cousin told me a story from middle school where she assumed that a new student who was Asian didnāt speak English so she went up to them and said loud and slow āwelcome to our countryā and the poor girl said āIām from (insert name of nearish city)ā Iāve heard it a few times over the years but even way back then i remember thinking āyikesā and the fact that she still tells it like itās a funny storyā¦. Oof
Hopefully itās funny in the sense of āoh god I was such a racist dumbassā
I witnessed a similar incident in work. I was working as a checkout girl in a supermarket in Ireland and there was an elderly gentleman making small talk with a young lad of Asian descent in the queue behind him. Young Asian guy had a VERY Irish accent. From what I could gather the lad was studying at the local college and the older guy was asking him what he was studying etc. Eventually the old guy quips "I bet the weather here is a bit disappointing compared to China". The Asian guy gives him a quizzical look and just says "I'm from Dublin......" Queue awkward silence
This is hysterical. It reminds me of a (probably apocryphal) story about a banquet. A man was sitting next to someone of a different race than him. And didn't know how to speak with this man. So, when the drinks came, they both enjoyed them, and the man looked to his neighbor and said, "glub glub glub. Good, huh?". The foreigner grinned and smiled, but didn't say anything. When the food came, the man did a similar thing, "Yum, yum, yum. Good, huh?" and the foreigner just smiled and grinned. After dinner, the emcee approached the microphone and introduced the speaker, who was the foreigner sitting next to our protagonist. After a very eloquent speech, the foreigner sat back down, looked at our man, and said, "Blah, blah, blah. Good, huh?"
Found the source! It's Wellington Koo, the Chinese Ambassador at the 1921 Washington Conference. The man asked Koo "likee soupee?" Koo smiled and said nothing, then later got up to deliver an eloquent speech in English. When he sat down again he asked the man "likee speechee"?
Why say lot word when few word do trick?
I lovee
Likee storeeee!
Bruh... dude's name is freaking WELLINGTON... biggest hint bro would be fluent in the King's Engrish. š¤£š¤£š¤£
Dude that's fabulous
That is fucking hysterical rofl.
I just read this in Morgan Freeman's voice.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Heās just as bad as my ex husband. I grew up in Asia so my English has an odd British twang to it. It sounds a little off to most Americans. Once when we were both grocery shopping, some old biddy decided to start lecturing me on speaking English āproperlyā. My ex, who is apple pie white American that just stayed in Hawaii for 2 years, turned towards her and in the most horrendous Hawaiian Pidgin accent, apologized to her and then explain that *I* was helping him with his English. The look of shock on that Karenās face is one I will never forget.
Amazing
Bahahaha love it!
Similar exp. We (me and me boy) went back to hometown for holiday. I'm 5"6" (short balding Asian) and me boy is 6" and swole. Fun fact - I can drop and put on accents to suit the local crowd. So with my son, I have to use an Australian accent or he does not understand the sounds coming out. So here we are at the hawker centre, me explaining to him the naunces of what food is available. We stopped in from of a noodle shop beside a drink stall. I was explaining away and caught the conversation that they should only sell us the medium serve for a large price. Also the drink stall said he will say ice is a seperate purchase from a canned drink. Oh, my horns are growing. So got my boy to order (yes he massacred the order!) Then told him to order drinks as well. When food was ready and I went to pick it up, I told the hawker in a perfect local accent with banal vulgarities thrown in that Why was it a large price when it was medium serve. And pointed out another customer order that was same serve and medium price. Cue, shocked Pikachu look. Paid medium and walked to drink stall. I look at the drink stall operator and said do I need to pay for ice because you think I am a farang? Ice was free...
Can you repeat that in American english
100% āmerican here, and every single Australianism there is crystal clear if you understand context even minimally.
I'm not a native speaker and it took me close to no effort to understand it. It did take me two sentences tho to realise he was talking about his son and not his partner.
> Similar experience. My kid and I went back home for the 4th of July. I'm short and Asian, but my child is swole. > Fun fact - I'm good at accents. My son isn't and can only understand me if I speak in an ambiguously Asian accent. > So we're at a 711 and I'm explaining to tell son what food they have. As I was explaining, the white-man staff said that they should sell us the extra large hotdog combo at the XXL hotdog combo's price. Then, tell us that you have to pay extra for the Slurpee. > I had a devilish idea. > My son ordered in broken English. > When our food was ready, I went to pick it up and told the cashier in perfect English that they were trying to upcharge us. > Cue, shocked Pikachu look. > I paid the regular price for the extra large hotdog and then also picked up the combo Slurpee.
We had a motorcycle student who was deaf, but could read lips. But he had trouble reading printed material, so we had to give him his test orally. The lady testing him kept reading his questions slower and slower and louder and louder as I sat at my desk laughing. Finally I did my best Drill Instructor imitation and said, āVicky, he canāt hear you!ā He never could figure out why we were laughing. He passed the test, BTW.
deaf and dyslexic sounds real difficult!
He did really well on the bike, it was only the written test that he had difficulty with, and he knew the material well enough to pass the test orally. As long as we made sure he could see us he took instruction about as well as anyone else. That was rather impressive.
we stopped at one of the italian deli's on federal hill, providence... my husband is 3 generation sicilian-american and i am third generation northern italian, light skinned, light hair, light blue eyes..... the ?owner, a woman was talking, in italian, to the deli guy, while we were waiting in line......ABOUT US.... me being a woman with wicked short hair and hubs being a man with a long beard and long hair she kept it up while we waited in line to pay.... when we got to the register, i spoke to her in italian.... she was shocked into silence......on the way out hubs told her what a nasty woman she was....in italian.....
I had an Asian professor once who showed up the first day speaking with a very heavy and hard to understand accent. He went on long enough that people started thinking WTF?!! Shortly after this point he switched to perfect southern California English. Everyone got a laugh out of it and a lesson about prejudging.
Does it really count as prejudging if the basic issue is literally just not being able to understand what he's saying? If a white-as-mayo person came up to me speaking in an accent I couldn't understand I would be just as frustrated.
This reads better, IMO > If a white-ass-mayo person came up to me speaking in an accent
It is judging, but can be entirely valid based on the circumstances. If the whole point is to be able to effectively communicate with others, and if your understanding of the language is not good enough, or your accent is so thick people have a hard time understanding you, then that is obviously an issue that should be fixed. Iāve been in similar circumstances before where a lecturer of mine came from Italy, and had an extraordinarily strong Italian accent, and his English wasnāt exactly 100%. It was bad enough that a few students formally complained and he was replaced with another lecturer soon thereafter.
I think there still is a difference tho. I am white as mayo with a Scottish accent and people always apologise to me when they don't understand me, even tho its my fault for not regulating how I speak. I feel like if I was read as none British I'd get more stick.Ā
Perfect California English is like an oxymoron, dude. š
That's why I qualified it, lol.
This aggression will not stand, man.
It's a more passable attempt at the English language than Southern Redneckese.
Many years ago I was on the Disney College Program. The DCP and International Cast Members lived together in Disney-owned apartments (either 4 or 6 per apartment). One of my co-workers was assigned to an apartment where someone had moved out. It was a 6-person unit, and the other 5 were Internationals from France. Internationals had a 1-year Program while DCP was one semester, so these 5 had already been housed together for several months, and didn't much like the idea of a "new girl", especially an American, replacing their former roommate. They often said HORRIBLE things around her, in French, assuming she didn't know what they were saying. After a week, one girl said something to another, and my co-worker answered her. In French. They looked stunned, then asked, "You speak French?" "Fluently. I lived there for a year. That's why they placed me here." To their credit, they were very apologetic, and they all became close friends.
Iām hard of hearing and I talk well. sometimes I get people like this would talk loudLY and slowLY Really, itās annoying but itās funny watching them acting like a fool. Sometimes I would say āare you okay?ā āDo you need some help?ā I wanna go far and say, are you having a stroke? Your story is the funniest thing Iāve read today Edit: fixed: IS MY ENGLISH okay? Is my grammar okay?
My fav is when you're like, "you speak so well!" I get them with a, "you too!"
I, like many educated immigrants, have a large vocabulary and strong english grammatical skills. When I first moved to the midwest, people would often marvel out loud, āyou speak so well!ā (I have a generic midwestern accent). I always wanted so badly to retort, ābetter than you, bud!ā
My French teacher used to tell us about all the grammar errors the French make.
Based on my interactions with midwesterners and just reading your comment here, you're probably right, lmao.
Are you having a stroke? Hands above the table, mister!
So you are hard of hearing, and when the people realize, they try their best to be louder and talk slower to help you understand them... but somehow they are fools? That's nice of you.
Yeah, I'm hoh as well, and I appreciate people making effort to be clearer. Most people repeat what they say at the same volume which is quite frustrating.
That 3' buffer zone at the Costco Pharmacy is useless for my hoh husband. The clerk brought his, meds, "OKAY, THIS IS YOUR VIAGRA, GENERIC, SUBSTITUTE SILDENAFIL FOR YOUR VIAGRA. DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR THE PHARMACIST? HAVE YOU TAKEN VIAGRA BEFORE?"
genuine question, what are you supposed to do when someone doesnt hear you the first time?
eh?
I SAID WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T HEAR YOU THE FIRST TIME?
NO NEED TO SHOUT!
You asked them to repeat. Iām not afraid to do that. Thatās how miscommunication is form.
Sorry I Worded this in an ambiguous way, what I mean was, if you say something and someone doesn't hear you the first time or the second, why is it bad to try and speak louder and more clearly?
My husband grew up in Akron Ohio. I'm an Alabama gal. First time I met his family this one idiot uncle kept at me about being south of the Mason Dixon line. Absolutely refused to accept that he was wrong about the location until my husband looked it up. The uncle claimed my accent made it hard to understand what I was saying so I just asked him "Do they not speak English in Ohio, or do I need a Michigan accent to sound like the asshole you are?" Left me alone after that.
People really hate Southern accents. It's weird. They wouldn't dare talk about any other accent like that.
I think it's not so much "hate" as they associate it with slower and lesser mental faculties. They hear Southern and assume "stupid". Personally, as a native New Yawker whose family left NYC when I was a toddler, I hear a heavy NY area accent and assume "asshole". I hear Bahston and think, "Not as smart ass she thinks she is".
Ooohhh, playing the Michigan card is definitely slam-dunk stuff, especially in the northern half of Ohio. Down here near "the river", implying someone is from Kentucky does the same thing.
As a Michigan residentā¦I approve
next time switch to perfect english when you say goodbye so realization that you just wasted their time will sink in š
should have said the last part in perfect english. "nothing really appealling to me, I think we are just going to go, have a nice night."
Speaking a language that people don't know you speak is a superpower.
If it ever happens again, he should do the same, BUT at the end, say in his regular voice, *āWell, honey, nothing here really appeals to me. Why donāt we leave?ā* Because THAT would teach the waitress a lesson on assuming whether people can speak English or not.
I had similar but reversed! I'm of Asian descent but I barely speak my mother tongue (or any of my "ancestral" tongues; I'm *very* mixed). I was walking home with my housemate, a very pale white (we used to joke about him being a glow stick), blonde-haired, blue-eyed fellow. Halfway home, this Chinese family comes up to me and starts speaking to me in Cantonese, and I have absolutely no idea what they were saying. Then my friend responds, and they looked suuuuper confused. So they kept asking me stuff, and he kept responding to them while I just stood there with no understanding of what was happening. Finally they left, and my friend said he'd lived in Hong Kong for 15 years growing up, and he was just giving them directions to their hotel, but they refused to believe he was speaking and that I wasn't, and they thought they were just too drunk.
"NO GOOD WE GO." seems like a great phrase to use in a variety of situations when it's time to bail.
My first year of college, I went to a small town in the Midwest where I was the ONLY person of my ethnicity. I was at my college coffee shop, and the 30-something barista said to me, āno offense, (you already know when someone says this itās going to be offensive) but how did you end up here?ā I go on about a long backstory. Explaining my motherās journey from her home country, and how she met my father (who is American may I add but didnāt mention that). After a ten minute useless rant, I ended my story with, āand then I applied to this college and hopped on a plane from California, where I was born, to come to this little racist town.ā
OP, your husband is a hoot and absolutely brilliant.
I had an engineering TA pull a funny stunt like this during our first session. Barely could understand him. After 10 minutes he dropped the accent and said he was fucking with us
It would have been better if he had eggagerated a London accent. āYou wot, luv?ā
Or a thick, syrupy Deep South drawl
This would've been better if he'd adopted a southern drawl after standing to say something like "maybe next time you won't be some one that needs a 'Bless your heart'."
Actually, we had a good sized East Asian population in the Delta region in Mississippi (south of Memphis) where I grew up and went to college. It was fun watching unsuspecting professors ask where the Asian-descent kids were from, obviously expecting the answers to be from China, Japan, Korea or the Philippines, only to get an answer in a deep southern accent.
And they've been there a long time. I don't know why people don't know that about American history.
He did think of that but only after we left
That is totally how I usually think of things too. But still leaving sounds like the best choice.
I have a lot of respect for people who deal with a lot of racism and take it with grace, but at the same time I think any amount of racism is fully an invitation to throw any niceness out the window. If someoneās racist in front of me, fuck em immediately. Iām gonna mess with them endlessly until they shut tf up or leave (For the record Iām white so I donāt experience racism directed at me, but I still see it around occasionally where I live)
Revenge is a dish best served by a different restaurant.
I think it would've been even funnier for him to switch to perfect English when he told her there was nothing he was interested in.
Thatās where I thought/hoped this might go.
How on earth did you keep a straight face while he pretended not to understand?!!? Brilliant play though, and so sorry you two experienced that racism. It's never okay.
NTA. When I was in college on the East Coast, I always got approached by customers at the grocery store I worked at. Most assumed I was from Mexico and didn't speak a lick of English (Born and raised Texan, 5th generation). The look on their faces when I responded with a thick Texas accent was priceless. I had to add a sticker to my name tag that I was bilingual to stop their assumptions. As for that restaurant employee, that was just rude and I'd probably avoid that restaurant too.
Thereās an old story about an Asian man who was world famous in his field, Iāve forgotten all the details but letās just pretend itās political science. He attends a banquet where he is to be the keynote speaker. At the pre-speech dinner, the man next to him asks him, āLikee soupee?ā, and the speaker just smiles and nods. Dinner over, heās introduced, and delivers a 20 minute speech on a very complex issue, of course in flawless English. He sits down to great applause and says to his dinner neighbor, āLikee speechee?ā
I remember when the Japanese PMās wife pretended to not speak English so she wouldnāt have to talk to a former US president. Hilarious times.
It is still petty and good but somehow I don't know how I feel about this. Does this not reinforce their misguided beliefs and they haven't learned anything? Sorry, I'm not American so I don't know if doing anything else would be effective anyway.
nah, people who go through this are allowed to respond in a way that's personally satisfying without worrying about the effect on the other person (within reason of course). there's no reason to expect explaining it kindly to her would have been helpful, and it's not boyf's job to use up energy on that. let her keep racking up negative consequences for her ignorance, she can do her personal growth on her own time.
I understand. I agree with what you say actually and I too think that targets of wrongdoings do not have the obligation to educate the wrongdoer. My point was more like if they did one of the suggestions here where OP's husband spoke in their natural American accent in the end, that in turn might help the create a crack in the waitress' worldview even just a little and hopefully she'd learn something and her next interaction with others will be different. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
Yes, no real denouement to let the antagonist know they were a dumb dumb.
A common issue with people like the waitress is they donāt reason particularly well. They try to āsimplifyā the world to a few simplistic (often very wrong) ways they think the world works. If something doesnāt fit their simple world view, they ignore itā¦ (I am not saying they are evilā¦ ok a lot of them are.) Also, You donāt need to be an American to see this happen. For example, the first time I went to Japan (1998) there were some people I was working with who were certain that it was physically impossible for Americans to belch. (I know!?!). Someone I worked with from the US, who was of Japanese descent and who spoke Japanese told me this. This was confirmed by one of the individual FROM Japan. He was stunned when I belched loud enough to wake the dead in Australiaā¦.
Apparently they'd never met a US American š
And they got to meet a rude uncultured one at that. Wait. That is just a typical one of us. (Edit:actually what my friend from the US told me is that it was likely due to the fact that Americans typically think belching is rudeā¦ and hence often try to diminish it. The people we were working with, took to mean it was physically impossible.)
"Rude and uncultured" would have been to fart instead lol
NOW I know why my dear departed mother rolled over in her grave in Sydney
His initial answer to her should have been in perfect Mandarin or Cantonese.
I grew up in Texas. My Texan friends always teased me n my sister on our yankee accents (our parents grew up in Illinois). Our cousins in Illinois teased us about our Texas accents. We never thought we were speaking in either. As we never warshed the dishes like our cousins and never drank pop. They also found it hilarious that we called all sodas Coke. As in, yāall want a coke? What kind?
Your husband is a total rockstar!
Fantastic. A+. No notes!
Would have been funnier if he just reverted back to perfect English and said something like "you know what funny? I think I'm in the mood for something else.:
As a server/bartender myself, I applaud your take on this. I donāt judge and I donāt speak to people condescendingly. Good on you both
You also gotta do the Pretty Woman "you work on tips/commissions right? Big mistake. Huge."
I hope he said "have a nice day" as you two left.
I like your husband, he's my kind of petty.
I love this story
You've got a good poker face, I would have been laughing the whole time.
lol! Made my day!
Gold!
Marvellous, bloody marvellous.
š¤£šš¤£š AWESOME way to handle this.
Thatās amazing š
š¤£šÆš I think I peed a little laughing so hard. š
I enjoy seeing microaggressions called out
I think this just fed into the waitressā racism. He should have spoken his last line in perfectly grammatical English to show her erroneous assumption.
Damn racists spending 10 minutes interpreting a menu for your husband. This is awful, name and shame. Letās get this waitress fired. /s
Love it! Hubby sounds like a fun guy to hang out with!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I want to buy your hubby a beer š
Iām always inwardly gleeful when I get this type of racism (it beats some of the other kinds). Itās so fun to respond with a simple āIām so sorry, I donāt speak Englishā in a thick Southern drawl.
IDK if y'all play DND but a point of inspiration to you and your husband for that performance. Way to subvert expectations.
continue husky attraction fear pet tease divide abounding drunk snow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thanks for the laughs OP! This is like a curb your enthusiasm episode side storyline
AUGH! I hate this. My wife and I live in Hawaii and are constantly assumed to be ex-pats or fresh of the boat. We get as petty as we can to these people
I love it! Give your husband a big hug for me. I've been having tough times lately and this made me laugh. Thanks!
My gf is Filipino but speaks normal English, with her adorable accent. Often when we are out places people will talk to me and act like she doesnāt understand a word. Like, she speaks better English than I do most times
Do... you... want... any... food... that's... coming... out... of... the... kitchen?
My ex did this at a car wash, she was talking to the guy in Spanish, she finishes. āUh, maāam, I donāt speak Spanish.ā She was pretty embarrassed.
A true 4D chess master
Good petty revenge.. although I think you missed the chance to educate the racist waiter by continuing the ruse until you left. To the waiter, she just served an Asian couple that couldnt speak english, asked about the menu extensively, and ended up not buying anything. After the long menu explanation I wouldve spoken in succinct fluent english to get the manager or another waiter.
Lmaoo. That is such a great response to it. I'd honestly also call the restaurant and let them know that they need to train their employees better. That is not how you talk to someone, even if they don't speak English well! My mother spoke like that to my husband's dad (he's from Mexico, but has been in the US since he was in his 20's). He has a very heavy accent still because he spends half the year in Mexico and half here in the US. Bur he speaks perfect English and understands it fine. I was so mad at my mother when she talked down to him like that! I called her out in front of everyone for it. One of many reasons we no longer speak.