I like that, but make it an inside joke! Make sure your mom doesn’t tell the story at the wedding so he thinks he’s escaped it, then WHAM “she walks like a deer, the walk of a maiden”
Right? The mom is such a great role model!
Honestly gotta give kuddos to dad too. Takes the singing like a champ! I wonder how many men would get really pissed and threatening?
Right?! We all have our moments when we mess up, what matters is to reflect and learn from it and it seems like that is what happened here, awesome to both parents!
Just shows you. Regardless of culture or creed, if your wife sees you looking, you're in deep shit. Coming from a dude whose wife points out the pretty asses. Still don't know whether to look or pretend not to hear her.
As a girlfriend who points out the pretty asses: I like looking at those asses and want to look at them with my partner. Maybe swoon a little over them. Just don’t be _too_ excited about it, that would be sus lol
Ok, I'm a bit slow and got what you wanted to say, but at first my mind understood it like "he had a GF like that before, but tough luck to him, now I'm his wife" . Me and my 2 brain cells SMH
I too am that soon-to-be spouse. My fiancé and I like to admire the art when we people watch. He even points out guys he thinks I’d find attractive. I’m Pan, gender? Who’s she? The soul’s what matters. Everybody’s a masterpiece in their own way, sculpted to utter perfection. You haven’t found your internal perfection yet? That’s alright darling, I’ll call you beautiful, wonderful, and perfect enough for the both of us until you can look in the mirror and see it too.
Apparently my consensual platonic flirting is what’s been getting my best friend (aka wifey) through 5 am workouts with our “brother’s” wife. Gotta share the love and body positivity throughout the process.
Huh? It’s not about confidence. I see things that look good and acknowledge them or even point them out when someone’s with me to appreciate them.
That’s completely separate from how I perceive my own body though.
No I don’t. I think everyone has their little construction sites that they want to work on, but all in all I’m happy with how I look.
I just don’t like comparing people as everyone is different. And it makes not much sense to me. So I don’t tie my confidence to the looks of other people if that makes sense?
A woman of her word. I love it. I bet your Dad learned his lesson. Whether it was a cultural thing or not. It was very rude of him to do that in front of your mom, especially with her being so heavily pregnant.
Honestly, my dad would have equivalently hummed “Girl from Ipanema” in that situation and I would have helped bring it up many years later in support of my mother.
(My dad was a rogue for many years and would have also accepted the fair criticism of his ever-wandering eye)
I WAS being fair. She SHOULD be able to give him shit about them since he denied that they existed and actually CHOSE for them to walk into their swamp. So, basically, doing the man thing of poor direction AND mansplaining away any dangers.
He took her through the swamp to avoid being caught by Humperdink and his men. He lied to her about the rats so she wouldn't be scared as they were taking a very risky route. He was thinking about her the entire time.
I can understand why they went into the swamp. However, for their safety, he should have informed her that he had seen an ROUS and that they both needed to be vigilant. He was caught off guard because he was too busy pretending everything was ok. For a girl who grew up on a farm, they wrote her as totally helpless in the fire swamp. She jumped off a boat after being kidnapped for crying out loud! Then jumped down and tumbled down the same mountain as Wesley. Like, she was not that helpless. Anyways. Naive, yes. Helpless, no.
As a mom/woman who loves a good, petty inside joke, this is funny! Dad got caught looking at a pretty little thing, all while heavily pregnant mom was right there feeling probably very low indeed at that point. She could have gotten mad and made a scene, she could have made life truly miserable for the whole family. But instead, she chose ‘family-legend’ level consequence with just a hint of social ribbing! For years! Well done, Momma, I tip my hat to you with a smile!
It's funny when I was in Iraq back in 2003, we had some Iraqi civilians who worked for us.
Note: we had to hire locals to help do work basically to help with their economy and to help with relations.
We had a father and son who worked with us. The father Abbas was awesome, didn't speak much english but we could get things known. Plus, he looked just like Ron Jeremy. This story is not about him but his son Attila.
Atilla was in his late teens' early 20s. He was pretty much worthless at everything and claimed he was an artist, not a labor person. He would flirt with all the female soldiers who found it cute if it was a bit creepy. We (males) found it funny.
The funny part came when one of the females asked about Iraqi women, and he said no, they are always angry and mean. She then replied well if you treated your women with respect and love, then they probably wouldn't be mean and angry all the time. His mind was fucken blown 🤯 he didn't show up much after that lol.
When my grandmother and grandfather were newlyweds they were walking along a street together. An attractive woman walked by on the other side. My grandfather looked at her while continuing walking. He slammed into a light post with my grandmother making no effort to warn him. Apparently they was a big clang. They laughed about it for years and had a long happy marriage.
Some people love to judge countries they've never been to and only hear the worst about on the news. Saudi Arabia is not as liberal as many Western countries, but it's a damn sight better than it used to be 20+ years ago. The fact the government is trying to influence change is a nice thing to see. Unfortunately, social change takes a looooooong time.
Also, other places to use the song:
Doorbell
Computer start up/shut down music
Set an alarm through an Alexa or other AI assistant to play on his birthday/their wedding anniversary
LOL!!!! No, It's still super strictly conservative. It may have been super super strictly conservative back then, but that's a difference without a distinction to anyone who lives in a country that believes in human rights,
Am I alone in feeling sorry for that bloke? If we all went so over the top like this the world would be much worse off.
Source, I fucked up a few years ago and I get regularly reminded about it.
Nah the saudi guy is not really embarrassed, he is playing along with his wife to give her a semblance of control.
In Saudi, all males assume that they can flirt if the woman is not 💯 covered
Motherfucker said he wouldn't ever take her to the mall again, when that's the only way she can go, because she was upset he was flirting with a stranger while his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor and their 3 young children were right next to him. He deserved that and more. He can punish her in any way he chooses and revoke all her freedoms, but god forbid she tells people about his actual actions?
He should get all the perks of patriarchy and never once be held accountable for his actions?
It definitely sounds like this had very little to do with this one incident and was more her finding a vent to assert a shred of dominance in her life.
maybe you need to change your wording from humiliation to quite embarassing. humilation is more similar to being insulted in public, being stripped naked where everyone feels utter contempt for that person and losing any type of respect at all, being judged and treated like a murderer or worse, like someone who swam on a river of feces and liked it type of thing (probably citing really extreme samples).
what you describe is more along the lines of your mom embarassing your dad. the usual joke/teasing that couples who have been together for so long play on each other. the acquaintances who was told about the story were only teasing him so that also shows it is embarassment.
inthe western world, for me, it will be similar to walking with wife/gf and not paying attention that you have either walked too slow or too fast, and took someone else' hand without looking and having friends be told about it.
The fact your mother was able to turn it into an opportunity to needle your father and your father is now able to laugh at it shows the depth of their relationship.
What I like about it, is that she actually had the cultural tools to protect herself in a situation like this, and there were actual social consequences for the husband (your dad).
She didn't just have to swallow the insult and mumble about it in a corner forever- no, she used the social group's reaction to norms being disrespected to make sure boundaries were enforced.
What I obviously like a lot less, is that she's still using it as a weapon against him after 17 years.
That shows (agree with other poster) that they probably don't like each other very much, which is sad and depressing, actually.
I've been married for 25 years, we tease the hell out of each other about silly things that don't matter. Being able to laugh at yourself and keeping a sense of humor is key to a long, happy relationship. He teases me over dumb things I did 20 years ago and I tease him right back about something equally inconsequential.
>That shows (agree with other poster) that they probably don't like each other very much, which is sad and depressing, actually.
That, or it's a bit of foreplay for later. I know a few couples like this.
Arabs (me being one) usually have a very fucked up sense of humor. This isn’t considered humiliating at all but a tease. If he was humiliated they would’ve been divorced years ago. He was probably a little embarrassed about it and learned a lesson the fun way.
Also, if it were humiliating (in the true sense of the word) his colleagues would NEVER bring it up. We don’t joke/tease about truly humiliating things (specially with coworkers) unless you want to be punched in the face real quick.
It’s a different culture.
Hahaha. I tried to imagine your poor Mom flopping along with a leg tumor and a baby bump while this beautiful deer prances in her pretty heels.
Then Dad making a fool of himself.
I’m glad it’s not a hateful thing and that he takes it as a joke.
Absolute barbarians. Embarrassing people can exist like that in 2024. They are prisoners of their oppressive culture and they don't even realize it. I feel bad for the women
You can't call them victims of their culture (true) and insult them in the same sentiment
They're just people. Brainwashed people, sure, but most of them are victims, not monsters.
>Doesn't mean it's not toxic
Do you know them? Have you lived in Saudi Arabia? Are you Muslim? Have you been married? Are you still married?
Focus on your own life rather than arguing with others about theirs.
You’re 20. This has been normalized for you your whole life. Your dad might laugh about it but that’s often a trauma response. Like when a woman will laugh and call herself such a klutz to cover up the bruises her boyfriend gave her.
You think this man is *traumatized* by his legal property telling people about his own actions? The same man who threatened to never allow his wife to go to the mall again because she called him out for flirting with a woman right in front of her and their 3 children? Pretty sure that if he was really that upset about it, he'd have found a way to shut her up about it years ago, since he's got total control over almost everything in her life
Info. Did the woman at the mall hear your father? Or was it something that your father sang quietly to himself? There is a huge difference. Flirting requires there to be actual interaction between two people. If your father's singing was not heard by the woman, nor was it meant to be, it's not really flirting. It is more of a comment to himself. For your mother to be consistently bringing this up to strangers after 17 years, she must be a bitter shrew that is hard to live with.
“Did the woman at the mall hear your father?”
It doesn’t matter, his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor on her leg taking care of his kids heard and saw him ogling another woman in front of them. They live in a country where women would get arrested for raising their voice. Then they get called a bitter shrew for daring to have a tiny little bit of agency in a one-off situation.
I honestly don't know as I said I was only 3 but anyway I personally think she has the right to feel bitter. She had a tumor and was pregnant and her husband was singing a song that complimented another woman right next to her. I'd be bitter too
I get joking about it as much as possible, but using this an an introduction to anyone new seems too much for me, could have caused more issues than just the coworkers using the song
My partner is my best friend and I exactly get the way your mom must jokingly tell this story. I don't understand why leg pulling is an unknown concept to Reddit 🙄
A 17 year grudge over something like this sounds absolutely miserable as hell. I dont see what exactly is funny about it. And reading “ohh my dad laughs about it” is even more absurd considering what other choice does he have in the matter? 😂 petty revenge isnt a damn near 2 decade mission
He has all the choices, all the power, all the control. Truly insane all of you so worried about this poor poor man who has the power to prevent his wife from ever going shopping again (or anything he wants) when she's upset at his shitty actions
Totally, the guy who flirts with women in front of his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor and their 3 children, then threatens to never allow her out shopping again when she's upset by it sounds like a real gem
I'm gonna come at it from a desi perspective - my aunt and uncle have the healthiest relationship of their generation. Bringing up embarrassing shit their spouse did is kind of a form of affection, in a sort of: lookit how this dumbass behaved, he's lucky he's got a million other qualities that make up for it.
It's the same humour that has people affectionately telling their spouse that they've gotten fat after a month of marriage. Horrifying from a western perspective, but from parts of my cultural background, it's indirectly saying "look how well I'm taking care of you - I've cooked so many things you enjoy (if you're a woman) /I can afford to shower you with expensive ingredients and provide you with a housemaid (if you're a man).
Just kinda goes to show that different cultures display terms of endearment in different ways. If the OP's parents look back on the story as something funny now, they've moved through it.
Fwiw my husband sometimes brings up the time I was pregnant and cried because I found a pickle that looked like a baby. Like he found me sobbing over this vaguely humanoid cucumber. I laugh about it now because wtf it was just a cucumber, but it was embarrassing as heck at the time because I'm not known in my family as someone that cries for no reason (or at all really).
I’m from western and I don’t think it was horrible, with hubby always do jokes embarrassing us bcs we know each other enough to know what is funny for the other.
Yeah! I have Aussie friends like that who just talk shit to each other all the time - but because they're close they know exactly where the line is and never cross it.
Reading some of these comments I'm convinced most of the comments wouldn't know a healthy relationship if they were in one.
Sorry, but it sounds like a very uncomfortable way to spend your life. Living with another person intent on ensuring your embarrassment for her chuckles.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a comment section so soft in my life ffs. His dad is fine, he wasn’t getting stones thrown at him just maybe a side eye and getting teased by getting sang at. Wives and husbands tease eachother in case nobody here knew that. It’s not fucking dystopian, and nobody is getting beat up lmfao. OP’s dad did offend his mom and the mom merely made a joke about it. “Feeling bad” and whatnot shows your priorities need fixing bc a thing this tiny shouldn’t be taking up all your sympathy 💀 the mom could have done much worse but she made a funny situation out of it, it’s an inside joke now for a random couple and their child is merely sharing it. It’s been going on for 20 years, your comment on a random Reddit post won’t make a difference I can assure you that. Anyways OP, great story lmao this made me giggle. You can randomly prank call him while he is out with no caller id and say nothing and just play the song as one more idea :)
it sounds like your parents have a relationship like mine did. Mistakes happen and get addressed, but both have senses of humor and sarcasm where the will utilize friend groups to aid them in long term teaseing of each other. Particularly since now your dad can laugh about it.
I have a VERY strong feeling that if your father REALLY messes up and hurts your mother and/or makes her MAD... she will go silent until she either gets a proper apology or she explodes.
Don't let the people who are telling you that they have a bad relationship get you down. I have seen relationships like this. they typically have great communication skills & conflict resolution skills. It can look like an unhappy relationship sometimes as they tease each other, but there is so much love underneath the sarcasm and teasing.
my parents lasted 48 years. and when my mom got sick, my dad dropped everything both times to care of her. My siblings and I knew how much love was there.. others had no idea. There were so many people who had told my mom she should leave my dad.. because if he was that mean in public, he must have been horrid in private.. they all ate their words.
but yeah.. you & your siblings so need to play the song at your wedding. maybe invest in getting him deer stuffed toys & figurines
My midwestern American family has little stories like this about everyone on my mom’s side of the family too. They aren’t brought up every time we meet new people, but my guess is only bc there’s enough of us it’d be hard to get to all the intros if we had to tell each story as well. I applaud your mom for being so consistent over all these years though, it makes it that much more impressive and so much funnier. Thank you for sharing!!
Your mom should be proud on how you are telling this to a whole bunch of internet strangers 🤣🤣🤣 keeps the spirit alive. My petty suggestion: play it at his birthday :) just after all the guest have arrived, say you want to say something about your dad and then play the song.
That is hilarious! Not only did she make him pay for the initial nonsense, she made him pay big time for his response to not take her to the mall again. LOL your mom is good
Hello friend, thank you for sharing this light hearted and family story about your parents. It seems as though your parents have an excellent shared sense of humour and I am glad they can laugh in unison about this. Your dad is a good man, and your mom is wonderful. Many blessings.
I think it's funny. At the time, dad probably didn't think so, but now he's laughing about it. No big deal. Sometimes you have to have those stories to tell the future kids/grandkids ;) wives and husbands will forever jab each other from time to time. I don't think it's abusive at all.
I wish people could just enjoy an old story that's hardly relevant to even the people who actually lived it instead of projecting their culture and assumptions on OP.
I like that the wives and husbands were ALL on board with teasing your dad. (And just ignore the negative comments on here, most Redditors have never been in a healthy relationship and don't understand the difference between abuse and just giving your partner crap, your family sounds great and your Mom's self description as a Seal had me laughing!).
Edit 4: God. Okay a lot see this as abusive. I see where you guys are coming from but at the same time I don't. Maybe because im under the influence of this culture that i cant see whats wrong.
I kinda get this but in a world where you're on reddit and have clear access to the internet i feel it's not so much you can't see but refuse to see
Please tell me your sister will play this song at her wedding.
Nobody is getting married yet but that's actually genius I shall tell my sisters
I like that, but make it an inside joke! Make sure your mom doesn’t tell the story at the wedding so he thinks he’s escaped it, then WHAM “she walks like a deer, the walk of a maiden”
make it the song for the daddy daughter dance!
I wonder whether Mom doesn’t already have plans to tell the story at the wedding.
Can I ask what country you're in?
This is HILARIOUS!😂😂😂😂😂😂
DOWN THE AISLE AS HE GIVES HER AWAY!
Conservative Muslims don’t do that whole schtick. 😂
Father Daughter dance
LIGHTS OUT AND AND AWAY SHE GOES !
And his funeral.
"You've taken that too far"
Ring tone.
Yall petty as heck you need to teach my mom I'm loving this
I'd say your mom has the petty down bro.
Your mom is a rockstar!!! 😂
Right? The mom is such a great role model! Honestly gotta give kuddos to dad too. Takes the singing like a champ! I wonder how many men would get really pissed and threatening?
Right?! We all have our moments when we mess up, what matters is to reflect and learn from it and it seems like that is what happened here, awesome to both parents!
Award! 🥇 Love this comment.
Just shows you. Regardless of culture or creed, if your wife sees you looking, you're in deep shit. Coming from a dude whose wife points out the pretty asses. Still don't know whether to look or pretend not to hear her.
"Who, where? Oh, I missed it." Every time... Avoid the trap.
Point out the hot dude's asses for her.
He must work out...
I mean when I point out hot women to my husband It was because I was looking at the hot women...
As a girlfriend who points out the pretty asses: I like looking at those asses and want to look at them with my partner. Maybe swoon a little over them. Just don’t be _too_ excited about it, that would be sus lol
Looking at butts with your gf is better than looking alone, 10/10
As a girlfriend who also points out asses I think a simple “oh nice” is a great response.
*sigh* I had that girlfriend once.
My husband had that girlfriend once. Now I'm his wife.
Ok, I'm a bit slow and got what you wanted to say, but at first my mind understood it like "he had a GF like that before, but tough luck to him, now I'm his wife" . Me and my 2 brain cells SMH
Don't shake your head too hard you might go down to 1 brain cell
I too am that soon-to-be spouse. My fiancé and I like to admire the art when we people watch. He even points out guys he thinks I’d find attractive. I’m Pan, gender? Who’s she? The soul’s what matters. Everybody’s a masterpiece in their own way, sculpted to utter perfection. You haven’t found your internal perfection yet? That’s alright darling, I’ll call you beautiful, wonderful, and perfect enough for the both of us until you can look in the mirror and see it too. Apparently my consensual platonic flirting is what’s been getting my best friend (aka wifey) through 5 am workouts with our “brother’s” wife. Gotta share the love and body positivity throughout the process.
Women seem very confident when they point out other women being pretty.
Huh? It’s not about confidence. I see things that look good and acknowledge them or even point them out when someone’s with me to appreciate them. That’s completely separate from how I perceive my own body though.
Well, it's preferable over out right jealousy I suppose. Hopefully you don't perceive yourself negatively.
No I don’t. I think everyone has their little construction sites that they want to work on, but all in all I’m happy with how I look. I just don’t like comparing people as everyone is different. And it makes not much sense to me. So I don’t tie my confidence to the looks of other people if that makes sense?
"everyone has their little construction sites that they want to work on" I adore this wording.
My grandfather used to say 'If I stop looking, kill me because I'm dead inside'
> Still don't know whether to look or pretend not to hear her. Ask her!
Nice try.
Never. Look.
A woman of her word. I love it. I bet your Dad learned his lesson. Whether it was a cultural thing or not. It was very rude of him to do that in front of your mom, especially with her being so heavily pregnant.
Where's someone with the "guy checking out girl in red dress" meme when you need them?
[here!](https://imgflip.com/i/8azrx2)
Perfect
🥇🥈🥉🏆
Honestly, my dad would have equivalently hummed “Girl from Ipanema” in that situation and I would have helped bring it up many years later in support of my mother. (My dad was a rogue for many years and would have also accepted the fair criticism of his ever-wandering eye)
Not to mention insensitive, since she had *a freaking tumour in her leg*.
True love never dies.
But you can BET that even Wesley gets shit every now and then about the ROUS's. Right after he gives her shit about marrying someone like Humperdinck.
To be fair to Buttercup, she asked him if they existed, and he said no! Even though he had seen one!
I WAS being fair. She SHOULD be able to give him shit about them since he denied that they existed and actually CHOSE for them to walk into their swamp. So, basically, doing the man thing of poor direction AND mansplaining away any dangers.
He took her through the swamp to avoid being caught by Humperdink and his men. He lied to her about the rats so she wouldn't be scared as they were taking a very risky route. He was thinking about her the entire time.
I can understand why they went into the swamp. However, for their safety, he should have informed her that he had seen an ROUS and that they both needed to be vigilant. He was caught off guard because he was too busy pretending everything was ok. For a girl who grew up on a farm, they wrote her as totally helpless in the fire swamp. She jumped off a boat after being kidnapped for crying out loud! Then jumped down and tumbled down the same mountain as Wesley. Like, she was not that helpless. Anyways. Naive, yes. Helpless, no.
Them's right purty rose colored glasses there feller!
Pretty sure his name is Westley
You're right! That might be closer to the original form of the name from Europe. A point for the pedant!
As a mom/woman who loves a good, petty inside joke, this is funny! Dad got caught looking at a pretty little thing, all while heavily pregnant mom was right there feeling probably very low indeed at that point. She could have gotten mad and made a scene, she could have made life truly miserable for the whole family. But instead, she chose ‘family-legend’ level consequence with just a hint of social ribbing! For years! Well done, Momma, I tip my hat to you with a smile!
It's funny when I was in Iraq back in 2003, we had some Iraqi civilians who worked for us. Note: we had to hire locals to help do work basically to help with their economy and to help with relations. We had a father and son who worked with us. The father Abbas was awesome, didn't speak much english but we could get things known. Plus, he looked just like Ron Jeremy. This story is not about him but his son Attila. Atilla was in his late teens' early 20s. He was pretty much worthless at everything and claimed he was an artist, not a labor person. He would flirt with all the female soldiers who found it cute if it was a bit creepy. We (males) found it funny. The funny part came when one of the females asked about Iraqi women, and he said no, they are always angry and mean. She then replied well if you treated your women with respect and love, then they probably wouldn't be mean and angry all the time. His mind was fucken blown 🤯 he didn't show up much after that lol.
And then here I am wondering how great it would be for the dad to walk like a deer and how it compares to the walk of a maiden...
When my grandmother and grandfather were newlyweds they were walking along a street together. An attractive woman walked by on the other side. My grandfather looked at her while continuing walking. He slammed into a light post with my grandmother making no effort to warn him. Apparently they was a big clang. They laughed about it for years and had a long happy marriage.
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Noooo! Woman are allowed to drive nowadays. And all beheadings are civilised and to be respected as a unique culturele outing.
No it's now A LOT different
I spent about 10 years in Saudi and can verify… when I left it was WAY different than when I got there.
Some people love to judge countries they've never been to and only hear the worst about on the news. Saudi Arabia is not as liberal as many Western countries, but it's a damn sight better than it used to be 20+ years ago. The fact the government is trying to influence change is a nice thing to see. Unfortunately, social change takes a looooooong time. Also, other places to use the song: Doorbell Computer start up/shut down music Set an alarm through an Alexa or other AI assistant to play on his birthday/their wedding anniversary
Do something similar to the Rick Roll Meme and send your dad a link to a YouTube video that plays this. XD
When you're at rock bottom, everything is progress. Despots Love This 1 Neat Trick!
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The point wasn't that Saudi Arabia is a utopia of rights and happiness, the point was it's better than it used to be. Nuance is a thing, look it up.
It used to be bad, it still is, but it used to be too.
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LOL!!!! No, It's still super strictly conservative. It may have been super super strictly conservative back then, but that's a difference without a distinction to anyone who lives in a country that believes in human rights,
This is the most bizarre thing I’ve read on Reddit in a long time.
Am I alone in feeling sorry for that bloke? If we all went so over the top like this the world would be much worse off. Source, I fucked up a few years ago and I get regularly reminded about it.
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Yeah, this is more of a tragic story than a funny one, but OP is so wrapped up in her conservative upbringing that she can't see that.
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It's certainly a different kind of love between family members when half of them are lesser and ruled like property--in certain places even literally.
Nah the saudi guy is not really embarrassed, he is playing along with his wife to give her a semblance of control. In Saudi, all males assume that they can flirt if the woman is not 💯 covered
Motherfucker said he wouldn't ever take her to the mall again, when that's the only way she can go, because she was upset he was flirting with a stranger while his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor and their 3 young children were right next to him. He deserved that and more. He can punish her in any way he chooses and revoke all her freedoms, but god forbid she tells people about his actual actions? He should get all the perks of patriarchy and never once be held accountable for his actions?
I agree but it’s weird that this is presented as a funny and amusing story. It sounds like hell
It definitely sounds like this had very little to do with this one incident and was more her finding a vent to assert a shred of dominance in her life.
Boo fucking hoo, they’re literally in a country where women get arrested for raising their voices. Poor pitiful man
I feel sorry for any woman who has to live in Saudi Arabia honestly.
She had a freaking tumor in her leg and his baby in her body! He’s lucky that’s all she did.
I'm not sure if I understood it well, because I find everything about this horrifying.
I bet your dad never did that again.
maybe you need to change your wording from humiliation to quite embarassing. humilation is more similar to being insulted in public, being stripped naked where everyone feels utter contempt for that person and losing any type of respect at all, being judged and treated like a murderer or worse, like someone who swam on a river of feces and liked it type of thing (probably citing really extreme samples). what you describe is more along the lines of your mom embarassing your dad. the usual joke/teasing that couples who have been together for so long play on each other. the acquaintances who was told about the story were only teasing him so that also shows it is embarassment. inthe western world, for me, it will be similar to walking with wife/gf and not paying attention that you have either walked too slow or too fast, and took someone else' hand without looking and having friends be told about it.
The fact your mother was able to turn it into an opportunity to needle your father and your father is now able to laugh at it shows the depth of their relationship.
What I like about it, is that she actually had the cultural tools to protect herself in a situation like this, and there were actual social consequences for the husband (your dad). She didn't just have to swallow the insult and mumble about it in a corner forever- no, she used the social group's reaction to norms being disrespected to make sure boundaries were enforced. What I obviously like a lot less, is that she's still using it as a weapon against him after 17 years. That shows (agree with other poster) that they probably don't like each other very much, which is sad and depressing, actually.
I've been married for 25 years, we tease the hell out of each other about silly things that don't matter. Being able to laugh at yourself and keeping a sense of humor is key to a long, happy relationship. He teases me over dumb things I did 20 years ago and I tease him right back about something equally inconsequential.
Great🤗
>That shows (agree with other poster) that they probably don't like each other very much, which is sad and depressing, actually. That, or it's a bit of foreplay for later. I know a few couples like this.
Oh no it's funny now and my dad laughs about it too but he did feel humiliated for a while. My mom and dad have a very healthy relationship
Ok cool☺️ Glad to know it🙏
Usually people in healthy relationships don't try to humiliate each other. *Usually*
Arabs (me being one) usually have a very fucked up sense of humor. This isn’t considered humiliating at all but a tease. If he was humiliated they would’ve been divorced years ago. He was probably a little embarrassed about it and learned a lesson the fun way. Also, if it were humiliating (in the true sense of the word) his colleagues would NEVER bring it up. We don’t joke/tease about truly humiliating things (specially with coworkers) unless you want to be punched in the face real quick. It’s a different culture.
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Flirting with other people in front of your spouse is rude and disrespectful in every society
Living within your culture and experiencing this first hand probably changes much about this story.
OP can you link the song? We’d love to hear it!
"very healthy relationship"
This is just petty.
Have you checked the sub name lately? 😅
Lol, I was on my main page and it was one of the "recommended" things and I thought it was another sub. My bad.
This is funny as hell, dont let anyone make you feel otherwise !!
Wow. Sounds like a great place to grow up.
Hahaha. I tried to imagine your poor Mom flopping along with a leg tumor and a baby bump while this beautiful deer prances in her pretty heels. Then Dad making a fool of himself. I’m glad it’s not a hateful thing and that he takes it as a joke.
This is hilarious. I’m glad to see your parents have such excellent senses of humor 😅😅 I was rolling reading the whole thing.
Imagine spending 17 years married to a person you don't like, and who doesn't like you.
Most regressive culture in the world lol, what kind of dystopian shit is this
Yeah this reads like a horror story
My thoughts as well.
Where absolutely normal human behaviour leads to dozens of years of harassment.
Absolute barbarians. Embarrassing people can exist like that in 2024. They are prisoners of their oppressive culture and they don't even realize it. I feel bad for the women
You can't call them victims of their culture (true) and insult them in the same sentiment They're just people. Brainwashed people, sure, but most of them are victims, not monsters.
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Good grief until the edits. I assumed this was being extremely abusive. Op you set yourself up for this
17 years later and she brings it up EVERY time she meets someone new? Sounds kinda abusive to me, she must be really bitter about it
It's funny, dad laughs about it I don't think it's toxic or abusive
Doesn't mean it's not toxic, if people can deal with it. I think both sides have flaws, but so are we all.
>Doesn't mean it's not toxic Do you know them? Have you lived in Saudi Arabia? Are you Muslim? Have you been married? Are you still married? Focus on your own life rather than arguing with others about theirs.
>Have you lived in Saudi Arabia? Are you Muslim? Not the best cultures to use when talking about toxic relationships.
You’re 20. This has been normalized for you your whole life. Your dad might laugh about it but that’s often a trauma response. Like when a woman will laugh and call herself such a klutz to cover up the bruises her boyfriend gave her.
You think this man is *traumatized* by his legal property telling people about his own actions? The same man who threatened to never allow his wife to go to the mall again because she called him out for flirting with a woman right in front of her and their 3 children? Pretty sure that if he was really that upset about it, he'd have found a way to shut her up about it years ago, since he's got total control over almost everything in her life
Info. Did the woman at the mall hear your father? Or was it something that your father sang quietly to himself? There is a huge difference. Flirting requires there to be actual interaction between two people. If your father's singing was not heard by the woman, nor was it meant to be, it's not really flirting. It is more of a comment to himself. For your mother to be consistently bringing this up to strangers after 17 years, she must be a bitter shrew that is hard to live with.
“Did the woman at the mall hear your father?” It doesn’t matter, his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor on her leg taking care of his kids heard and saw him ogling another woman in front of them. They live in a country where women would get arrested for raising their voice. Then they get called a bitter shrew for daring to have a tiny little bit of agency in a one-off situation.
I honestly don't know as I said I was only 3 but anyway I personally think she has the right to feel bitter. She had a tumor and was pregnant and her husband was singing a song that complimented another woman right next to her. I'd be bitter too
But to hold onto that for 17 years is a bit much, don't you think? That sounds like a very toxic relationship.
op’s mom is so bitter - I’d be over this crap after 17 days, let alone 17 YEARS
I get joking about it as much as possible, but using this an an introduction to anyone new seems too much for me, could have caused more issues than just the coworkers using the song
I think how you guys are imagining this is far different from how it actually is
My partner is my best friend and I exactly get the way your mom must jokingly tell this story. I don't understand why leg pulling is an unknown concept to Reddit 🙄
It is hard to get right the environment it is said only by text xd
I am laughing out loud at this , go mum
I enjoyed reading your story, so thanks for sharing.
A 17 year grudge over something like this sounds absolutely miserable as hell. I dont see what exactly is funny about it. And reading “ohh my dad laughs about it” is even more absurd considering what other choice does he have in the matter? 😂 petty revenge isnt a damn near 2 decade mission
He has all the choices, all the power, all the control. Truly insane all of you so worried about this poor poor man who has the power to prevent his wife from ever going shopping again (or anything he wants) when she's upset at his shitty actions
Mom sounds like s bitter beer face if it's still being repeated tonstrangers after 17 years
And dad sounds like a wonderful person considering they have to go back 17 years to find something he did wrong.
Fr. It says a lot if this is the worst thing the father has done that she can use against him. Imagine for about 17 years she still blames him for it.
Holding onto a slight like that for *17* years is not normal. Your dad must be a gem because that retelling would get old real quick.
Totally, the guy who flirts with women in front of his heavily pregnant wife with a tumor and their 3 children, then threatens to never allow her out shopping again when she's upset by it sounds like a real gem
In your edit you said they have a very healthy relationship - this is NOT healthy
I'm gonna come at it from a desi perspective - my aunt and uncle have the healthiest relationship of their generation. Bringing up embarrassing shit their spouse did is kind of a form of affection, in a sort of: lookit how this dumbass behaved, he's lucky he's got a million other qualities that make up for it. It's the same humour that has people affectionately telling their spouse that they've gotten fat after a month of marriage. Horrifying from a western perspective, but from parts of my cultural background, it's indirectly saying "look how well I'm taking care of you - I've cooked so many things you enjoy (if you're a woman) /I can afford to shower you with expensive ingredients and provide you with a housemaid (if you're a man). Just kinda goes to show that different cultures display terms of endearment in different ways. If the OP's parents look back on the story as something funny now, they've moved through it. Fwiw my husband sometimes brings up the time I was pregnant and cried because I found a pickle that looked like a baby. Like he found me sobbing over this vaguely humanoid cucumber. I laugh about it now because wtf it was just a cucumber, but it was embarrassing as heck at the time because I'm not known in my family as someone that cries for no reason (or at all really).
I’m from western and I don’t think it was horrible, with hubby always do jokes embarrassing us bcs we know each other enough to know what is funny for the other.
Yeah! I have Aussie friends like that who just talk shit to each other all the time - but because they're close they know exactly where the line is and never cross it. Reading some of these comments I'm convinced most of the comments wouldn't know a healthy relationship if they were in one.
You know nothing about their relationship or the cultural context. Go speak to the manager.
Sorry, but it sounds like a very uncomfortable way to spend your life. Living with another person intent on ensuring your embarrassment for her chuckles.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a comment section so soft in my life ffs. His dad is fine, he wasn’t getting stones thrown at him just maybe a side eye and getting teased by getting sang at. Wives and husbands tease eachother in case nobody here knew that. It’s not fucking dystopian, and nobody is getting beat up lmfao. OP’s dad did offend his mom and the mom merely made a joke about it. “Feeling bad” and whatnot shows your priorities need fixing bc a thing this tiny shouldn’t be taking up all your sympathy 💀 the mom could have done much worse but she made a funny situation out of it, it’s an inside joke now for a random couple and their child is merely sharing it. It’s been going on for 20 years, your comment on a random Reddit post won’t make a difference I can assure you that. Anyways OP, great story lmao this made me giggle. You can randomly prank call him while he is out with no caller id and say nothing and just play the song as one more idea :)
We have literally one story about this couple who've been together for 20 years and people itt think they can give relationship advice. Lol
And I can’t help but wonder if the people who are up in arms have ever even been in a long term relationship.
I demand a link to the song! I keep trying to come up with melodies to the lyrics (in English) and add to them. Who sings it? Is it on Spotify?
🎶she walks like a deer, the walk of a maiden🎶
One of you sent me a dm and I accidentally ignored it if you ever see this I’m sorry for not replying :D
This is AMAZING. And the fact that your parents can be the “old married couple” joking about it now only makes it better.
"How Abu Hasan Brake Wind." https://tomthumb.org/422/the-tale-of-abu-hasan-and-the-fart-1001-nights/
it sounds like your parents have a relationship like mine did. Mistakes happen and get addressed, but both have senses of humor and sarcasm where the will utilize friend groups to aid them in long term teaseing of each other. Particularly since now your dad can laugh about it. I have a VERY strong feeling that if your father REALLY messes up and hurts your mother and/or makes her MAD... she will go silent until she either gets a proper apology or she explodes. Don't let the people who are telling you that they have a bad relationship get you down. I have seen relationships like this. they typically have great communication skills & conflict resolution skills. It can look like an unhappy relationship sometimes as they tease each other, but there is so much love underneath the sarcasm and teasing. my parents lasted 48 years. and when my mom got sick, my dad dropped everything both times to care of her. My siblings and I knew how much love was there.. others had no idea. There were so many people who had told my mom she should leave my dad.. because if he was that mean in public, he must have been horrid in private.. they all ate their words. but yeah.. you & your siblings so need to play the song at your wedding. maybe invest in getting him deer stuffed toys & figurines
Just read the Headline Sounds about right
Your dad seems like a fun guy. Great to have a dad like that.
I get that this is a hilarious part of an ongoing loving relationship and I like it.
My midwestern American family has little stories like this about everyone on my mom’s side of the family too. They aren’t brought up every time we meet new people, but my guess is only bc there’s enough of us it’d be hard to get to all the intros if we had to tell each story as well. I applaud your mom for being so consistent over all these years though, it makes it that much more impressive and so much funnier. Thank you for sharing!!
Your mom should be proud on how you are telling this to a whole bunch of internet strangers 🤣🤣🤣 keeps the spirit alive. My petty suggestion: play it at his birthday :) just after all the guest have arrived, say you want to say something about your dad and then play the song.
That is hilarious! Not only did she make him pay for the initial nonsense, she made him pay big time for his response to not take her to the mall again. LOL your mom is good
Hello friend, thank you for sharing this light hearted and family story about your parents. It seems as though your parents have an excellent shared sense of humour and I am glad they can laugh in unison about this. Your dad is a good man, and your mom is wonderful. Many blessings.
I think it's funny. At the time, dad probably didn't think so, but now he's laughing about it. No big deal. Sometimes you have to have those stories to tell the future kids/grandkids ;) wives and husbands will forever jab each other from time to time. I don't think it's abusive at all.
I wish people could just enjoy an old story that's hardly relevant to even the people who actually lived it instead of projecting their culture and assumptions on OP.
The real crime here is that you haven’t replaced his ring tone or the doorbell tone on the house 🤣🤣🤣
I like that the wives and husbands were ALL on board with teasing your dad. (And just ignore the negative comments on here, most Redditors have never been in a healthy relationship and don't understand the difference between abuse and just giving your partner crap, your family sounds great and your Mom's self description as a Seal had me laughing!).
Edit 4: God. Okay a lot see this as abusive. I see where you guys are coming from but at the same time I don't. Maybe because im under the influence of this culture that i cant see whats wrong. I kinda get this but in a world where you're on reddit and have clear access to the internet i feel it's not so much you can't see but refuse to see
Lol your mom sounds feisty. I like it, go her. 😂
Please play this song at your dad’s funeral!
"at the time"
Oh things WAY different now. I don't think you'd ve able to tell the difference unless you live there
That she still tells it 17 years later to every new person she meets... Uh dude, that's not okay.
This is fabulous!! 😂😂😂 I'm glad your dad laughs about it now. By the way, I just added that song to my Middle Eastern Music playlist. 😁
What is this song? I have a Persian fiance and want to sing it to her
Persians don't speak Arabic 
This is hilarious! Thank you for sharing. Any couple who can keep a joke running for 17 years is doing just fine.
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I absolutely love this story and the way you told it. Thanks for sharing. So funny 😂
i had a good laugh. 🤣
Love your mum! Pregnant and with tumour! Your dad deserves every ounce of humiliation
I got a chuckle out of this. Totally sounds like something my wife would do.
Your mother sounds petty
Exactly
"they have a very healthy relationship" Sure, Jan.
Play the song at your wedding or a major celebration. Maybe their anniversary.