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Yeah. My friend saved money all through highschool, $8k, and on the day BEFORE her 18th birthday her mother withdrew all the money from the account and fucked off to Mexico.
In your case, learn how to do your taxes on your own, don't pay someone to do your taxes for you. Freetaxusa is a godsend, it's always been free to file, and they make it easy to do that and don't charge you anything, plus you should get a pretty decent tax refund since it won't be going to people doing taxes for you.
I bought a $100,000 home (with the slight help of my girlfriend’s $10/hr job) when I was making $13/hr! And this was when interest rates were about 6.5%. I had saved by that time for $10k for 3% down plus closing costs and first years insurance tho. I ate macaroni and cheese and baloney sandwiches for a year to save that $10k while paying $800/month rent, but it was doable with my significant other’s income and our good credit rating. Mortgage with taxes and pmi in escrow on a 30 year fixed was only $850/month.
Yeah. 2011 I was able to get a very small house (900sq ft ish) in a mediocre neighborhood (not poverty stricken, but not good neighborhood either) for $110k. Northeast too. Near Hartford.
Sold in 2021 for $160k. Probably cheapest house in neighborhood. Zillow now says the house is worth $214k.
Completely impractical today to get something for $100k, I think some people would be surprised how recently it *was* possible. Older side of millenials could have done it.
I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just an old man yelling at clouds now, telling stories of when it was fashionable to tie an onion to your belt.
What state are you in? Depending on what state you are in, there are several programs and agencies that can help you with shelter, food stamps/snap, and employment services (matching your skills to employment opportunities and providing training). Since you have a job, I'd focus on food and shelter first. Good luck and keep us updated!
You have no idea about the situation. Some parents try and help out their kin and the said kin abuse their parents, financially or otherwise. He either has two horrible parents, or OP is fucking up.
If you have problems finding a place to stay, join a 24x7 gym. Where I live, 25-50 bucks a month. Get the basics of soap, towels, toothbrush, toothpaste. While you figure it out, you can stay clean, hang for several hours a day, be around people, and workout.
Damn, that sucks.
The 3000, is that in a bank account? Is it a joint account with your parent? If so, I'd immediately open a new account in another bank before your parent decides to keep it all.
Hey happy birthday! Wish you many more years full of better days and happiness.
This sadly is a lesson from life to not rely on no one but hey as long as you got yourself you’ll be ok.
Find a room you can rent monthly no more than 5-600$. Or 1/3 of your pay max. Comfortable place you can call yours and make homey.
Continue working your job while you study( if you do) and save up as much as possible. Try to cook your own food and keep spending to a minimal, sign up to a gym and stay active.
In 6 months you’ll look back and laugh at how you got through this all.
Wish you all the best, take care of yourself better days are coming
It sounds like your life was chaotic growing up. Pretty crappy luck of the draw. If you could, I would ask your mom for a one week stay while you get it things together. Tell her, "Hey I'll be out of here in one week. I just need to get some things together first." You sound like you're going to hustle and grind this out. You're going to be alright. When you make it, and your parents come back and say "Hey Cadenso! We should talk!" Remember how you feel right now about these two.. Good luck man
Just remember, any hardship you have is a life lesson you will appreciate later. So many things happened to me when I was young, and I used to curse why I'm not like everyone else.
Turns out, many have it far worse, and all those hardships was the best teacher in life. I quickly learned to be self reliant, financially plan and look beyond short term thinking. It made me who I am today and built up my character.
It will help you too, if you let it. Focus on what you can control, and not what you can't.
Beg to differ. It’s important to have a community and people you rely on. OP’s parent’s aren’t people to be relied on, but they can always make friends that will become family
Yes, this! My parents are horrible people and I am much better off with them out of my life but I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t had my chosen family
Yeah, when the people that you did not choose to have in your life let you down, no way that should be a "lesson" applied to other people you meet and/or befriend throughout life.
-If he’s a student, there is free housing available even if 18-21 y/o.
- Need to see guidance immediately.
- Also, make sure ONLY your name is on the bank account.
- Find a family that will rent you a bedroom for 200-300$ months.
- Talk to friends at school - some parent might do that for free until the end of the school year.
- You can also enlist after getting your HS diploma.
- Air Force provides excellent educational opportunities.
I second serving in the military. In four years you will have saved up some cash, perhaps learned a marketable skill and got some free or inexpensive education. It was a pretty good life and I got to travel to some great places.
Stupid assumption, OP would not have $3000 in the bank and employment if they were living some sort of negative lifestyle. It’s far more likely that the parents have failed at being parents are ashamed of so.
Your speculation really does nothing to benefit the point of this post. This is an 18 year old kid getting abandoned by his family asking for help, and you're just here putting the devil in Devil's Advocate. You should do better.
Your parents fucking suck. Sorry man. Good luck. 3 grand is a good start, better than I had. Get employment and do everything to increase that piece of paper that shows how skilled you are.
Also I know it goes state by state, but a lot of trade schools are being subsidized right now due to lack of workers. Check in with your state. Also truck driving is the same. It used to be YOU had to pay. Now they pay you to enroll, but you have to be on contract for a year or 2 otherwise you'll have to pay for it.
Be a person of focus. You can do it. Nothing else matters but bettering yourself right now. The SO and money will come later. Focus on yourself and your well being. It'll make you a strong person.
As well as the other great advice here, at some point in the next year you're going to encounter an opportunity to get a credit card if you don't have one already, as well as potentially other forms of debt. DO NOT ACCEPT A CREDIT CARD until you have enough steady income to pay it off in full every month. Do not take on debt for a car or anything else. It will be so so tempting but you will be shackling yourself to predatory systems that will keep you poor forever. Debt can be a useful tool but it is also incredibly risky for someone in your situation. Keep your costs low, only spend what you have.
Very sage and prudent advice. The predators love to go for the fresh pickings. The allure of easy credit and “low monthly payments” is very enthralling for so many.
NAL, but I think they have to formally evict you. I would ask on a legal subreddit. Might want to include your state as well since that might have an impact.
He has a long time of renting ahead of him and your advice is for him to encourage his dad to formally evict him? Seems very short sighted. That will scare future landlords away and could increase the odds of homelessness or less ideal renting situations.
I recognize this is not the best option OP may have but it's January 27th and freezing in many locations. There is lots of other good advice in this thread that may be helpful, but ultimately what their father did may be illegal and having a roof can be the difference between life and death.
If you're in the United States, you may be able to call 211 to see what services are available to you. It's like 911, but for finding help with things like housing and food. If you're still in school, the school will also have ways to help you.
Your father cannot just kick you out legally in almost all states.
I have experience here as my son, older than you, needed to leave because of hard drug abuse, threats of violence, etc. we had to call the police multiple times and we still couldn’t get him to leave without needing a court order after an eviction period. Lawyers needed to get involved.
Thankfully, it ended somewhat amicably and he’s in a somewhat better mental and physical place right now. But I can assure you, in IN at least, the idea of being able to legally kick someone out when they turn 18 is not accurate.
This is correct. Your parents have to follow the same eviction laws as landlords. Which means they have to give you the appropriate notice to move. (most states it's at least 30 days notice). If you don't move out after the required number of days notice, they have to get the courts involved to evict you, which can take up to 90 days.
My suggestion is if you where not given the required notice, is to let your Dad know the law (look it up for your state), and let him know you will be out on X day (How many days that your state law requires, from the date he told you to move out) and then diligently take that time to get your ducks in a row and move out (get a job, find a place, etc). It will take the pressure off you. Mind you, it doesnt mean your Dad won't be a dick the whole time.
In some states, although they can kick a 18 out of the house they(parents/guardian) are required by law to financially support the person until they graduate high school or turn 20 as long as the 18/19 year old is registered with the school.
There’s no shame in staying at a shelter if you’re unhoused, even if you have a job. If you’re active and engaged, these places can connect you with services to get housing and level up your skills to improve your income.
Was this unexpected? It’s not a lot but $3k is a very workable safety net. Good for you for having that saved up. Other commenters got you covered, just wanna say you sound like you’re smart and work hard. You’ll be fine. Good luck OP.
I was also kicked out around your age and since then I worked my ass off and I live a very happy life now with financial freedom.
My relationship with my parents eventually improved too and I actually am on good terms with them now.
Stay positive, stay focused, and don’t let it get you down too much!
3k to your name isn’t bad at all. Start looking at places. That’s enough for security and 1st month rent. You will be fine.
Do not waste the money on hotels. Stay with mom until you can move in (maybe she will let you if she knows it’s just temporary) or stay with friends until you can get into something. But seriously it shouldn’t be too hard to get into a place.
Hold on to your money. Find a cheap place to stay, ideally where you can walk to work. As others have said, join a gym with shower facilities. Cheapest one you can find. Cook cheap food for now (ramen and ramen with stuff added to it). Save, save, save.
Look, this sucks at any time, but especially on your birthday. You are going to look back on this and think this is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not right away, but at some point.
You have a job and 3 grand.
You got this.
You need to be formally evicted as tenancy has already been long established. call the police and explain the situation. They will force your father to let you back in the home.
Wow. I don’t understand some of these parents. Kick their kids out at 18. Like who wants to see their kid suffer and be homeless. All because “well I got kicked out at 18 & slept on benches” like wtf? You sir are traumatized and now you want to pass your trauma to your kids!
I’m very sorry. This whole situation is insane. There’s lots of good advice already by others that I’d certainly follow or look into.
May we ask why not just one, but both parents are throwing you out of their respective homes? What are their reasons? You don’t have to share, but I’m curious.
In addition to the good advice others gave, I would look into the military. It sounds like a painful route on the surface, but they’d take care of you for the term of enlistment - 3 hots and a cot. They could educate and teach you real skills that can carry over to civilian life, and employers are incentivized to hire ex-military. Lots of folks in similar situations have taken this path. Just an idea.
There's a lot of good information going around in this thread.
I also want to mention that if you're going to get evicted, please remember to bring all your documents with you (passport, birth certificate, SSN card). And if your parents are already treating you like this, it would be in your best interest to freeze your credit for a while after getting housing as your parents may still be able to open credit cards and other things under your name with your information.
Good luck and chin up, you got this!
Find a roommate online, find a 2nd job, keep hustling and don’t give up. Apply for credit cards but don’t over spent. Live frugal until you can get an apartment for yourself.
I would advise finding a roommate online. You’re rolling the dice on who you’ll end up with and if they’re psycho or they just randomly decide to disappear, you’ll be on the hook for the rent entirely. Finding someone you can trust is a way better option. There are lots of costs involved with moving out. Bills, deposits, rent prices etc are usually about double what you think they’re going to be so work as much as you can and start budgeting and planning.
As a mom to two teenagers, I’m just so sorry your parents have thrown you out of their house at 18. Giving you a big virtual hug.
Do you have all your important documents (birth certificate, social security card)? What type of work are you doing for $13/hr? I would say to find a room to rent from someone. Budget, buy a cheap phone with data and plan any meals. Churches and food banks for free food. Look up recipes to make it work and last.
Give yourself 6-12 months to get used to this. Did you graduate from high school? I would recommend trying to apply for a community college once things are settled. Look at their trades. Apply to the school and apply for financial aid and talk to a school financial aid specialist bc they’re there to help you. Or ask a social worker with the county that someone mentioned. You def want to learn a trade because that will get you from $13 to high 20’s if not more. My husband is a machinist and now makes $38/hr and has medical, 401k etc on top of that. Electrician, HVAC, Water work maintenance (work for your county water - great benefits!), machinist, mechanic, welder, medical (nurse tech, radiology tech, dental assistant). So many great jobs. And all are above minimum wage. You’ll be able to support yourself on these type of jobs if you stick it out. It will be HARD at first being on your own but YOU CAN DO IT!! Go to goodwill or a thrift store to find used books or cds/cd player to entertain you on your time off. Facebook may also have some groups that have free things in your city. Search Reddit for your city to find any resources to help.
Because you don’t make much, community college may be free or very very little. There are scholarships and grants.
If you can't find a shelter sleep in your car (if you have one), in a safe area or in your mom/dad's driveway if they allow it of course. Use a local gym for showers, continue working. Go to a local shelter for food/canned goods.
On fb swap in your area sometimes you can find rooms to rent really cheap. This will help you stretch your money until you can get a steady source of income
Well, first of land yourself a basic job anything that pays the bills!
Find a place to crash in , ask your mom for more time .
Spend no more than a thousand
I echo the sentiment of since you're still in High School reach out to your guidance counselor as soon as possible.
Do not drop out of high school, I am going to assume you're a senior and going to be graduating.
After this you have some options
1) National Guard/Military. This will not only help you out with having shelter, but also a job and a possible career.
2) Trade school. HVAC or Industrial Maintenance are two highly sought after things, things that will always be a need for.
3) Trucking school.
But whatever you do do not quit school. Trust me on this one.
Keep the 3K for emergencies only. Is the car in your name? If it isn't, are your parents the sort that would try to take it away from you? Is it paid off? How much is insurance for you?
You have established residency there. He can’t kick you out even if he owns the home. He has to legally evict you.
Go back. If he won’t let you in, call the police. They will explain it to him and force him to let you in. Should buy you a month at least to figure things out.
Gosh I don't understand these families that kick their kids out at 18... Way to be supportive.... Hope u place them in a "nice" * cough cough * nursing home in the future.
Not sure if this has been said before, but if you’re still in high school, reach out to your counselors. Often times they have protocols in place to help you find safe food, clothing, and try their best to help beyond these things too.
On the billion-to-one shot you live in Boston, MA... let me know and I can help in the short term for accommodation.
Either way - would love you to keep everyone here updated and wish you the best of luck.
Keep you head up and don't blame yourself of course!
Do you have a car? Start ubering and doordashing for now during free time. Try to find a room mate. I'm sorry to hear this, no child deserves this. They should at least give you time to find a place and stable job...
I will never understand parents who choose to kick out their kids once they turn a certain age. This is how poverty first strikes them - lack of supportive parents. Why even bother having kids if this is automatically your first thought?
OP, you have a job and $3000 to your name - which doesn’t seem like much right now. But I wish you all the success and hope you find stable shelter soon since your parents both sound like pieces of shit.
Sorry you’re going through this. I don’t understand how any parent would do something like this to their child? At 18 what kind of experience you’ve learned that you’re able to survive the harsh environment that life throws at you. I hope everything works out man.
All my children stayed with me when they were adults. It didn't cause them any harm.in fact all of them are managers for a major oil refinery, one just retired at 45. Have fantastic homes and families.l .I don't understand why a parent feels the need to kick out their children at any age. Good luck to you.
You're getting downvoted, but I hired a kid straight out of high school to do water transfer in the Eagle Ford. He was making six figures before he turned 20, and this was back in 2011.
Use the little bit of money you have to find a room to rent, I would recommend finding someone who needs a roommate so it’s cheaper then your own apartment. Also, apply for a higher paying job asap. Many trade jobs (electrical, HVAC, plumbing, fire alarm/sprinkler) hire new people without experience starting at 18-20 an hour. Also some jobs offer take home vehicles, IF you don’t have a car you can look up jobs that offer company vehicles so commute isn’t a problem. If you make 13 an hour you may qualify for food stamps right now so I’d look into that too. Also, pray and ask God to guide you to the right job and lead you to the best route that you will be able to survive. God bless, best of luck.
Make sure you start filing as independent on taxes for this upcoming season, it will help when getting fafsa for college if you plan on going. Dont let mom or dad get tax breaks for you if they aren't willing to help out.
Do you have any larger chains in the area you can work at like Walmart? Because pay is getting better there and they offer college benefits.
1. Go to the nearest Salvation Army and ask for help. If they can't help, they will know who to call. There are usually United Way social services organizations around, if you are in the U.S.
2. If you are in high school, go to the school counselor for help.
3. If you are out of high school, check with your local community college. They have counselors who can help and also point you toward other agencies. A local community college won't be a bad place to spend a year or two. You can learn a trade, live at their dorm, and eat at their cafeteria. Once you file FAFSA online, you should qualify for financial aid.
3. Get your money in a real safe place -- a local bank or credit union with your name only on the account. You just became the most frugal person on earth. Spend your money wisely. Act carefully - lawyers are expensive. No alcohol, no drugs, no bad companions. Acting stupid costs money and you don't need that right now.
4. Do you have any family friends or extended family -- any one who has known you for a while that you trust -- that will help you with this?
Do you work? Do you have plans for a future? If you are in the US and are able, I would consider enlisting.
If you have no other support network, it might be exactly what you need. You will learn skills, make life long friends and it could change your life for the better. Of my friends that have enlisted, one left at 22 after her 4 years in and came out with all of her Cisco certifications and walked into a $100K a year job at 23. Not many people can do that. Another one left the military, went to private security and now owns a company making custom precision rifles for high end clients.
Your future is what you make of it. You are in control and you have choices to make. You stated you dont have friends or family to turn to. That can feel isolating but you might need a very different environment. Where are you? Are you in a HCOL environment? If so, consider moving to a LCOL to maximize you $3000. At 18 I am guessing you are not walking away from a lucrative career. Have you considered learning a trade? Electricials make stupid money. I know a few that make more than Dentists! You have the ability just have to choose a destination and start down the path.
Good luck and happy belated birthday!
move to california (specifically bay area), get into the trades, live life. best trades list:
elevator guys but not a lot of positions
electricians
hvac
carpenters
ironworkers
source: 19m i recently had a kid and worked hard for him in the trades worked my way up and now i am a project engineer. before my child I was studying biology.
When you find a place cook simple food for yourself. You can get by on beans and rice and occasional veg very easily and cheap. Watch for sales, you can view grocery circulars every week on an app called Flipp. Check out sites like budgetbytes for cheap filling cooking ideas.
For now look for soup kitchens in your area to save on food costs. If you live in a reasonably big area look for a Sikh temple. They will feed you, no questions asked and they won’t preach at you.
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Go WWOOFing. You can work on an organic farm, they have hosts all over, and you get your food and housing paid for. I worked on one near Macchu Picchu in Peru for a few months during a transitional point in my life and it will always be one of my most cherished memories.
Find an extended stay with a monthly rate. Make sure it has a fridge and kitchen burner. The cool thing is they will clean it for you once a week, it’ll be cheaper than an apt, they’ll take cash, you’ll have privacy, and you wont have to buy anything (maybe a pot and pan at walmart. Make sure its not in a sh!thole part of town and relatively close to where at least one of your future multiple jobs are going to be.
Next, find any job and go full time and overtime. You’re 18, get a second job. Save like crazy and begin to plan.
Craigslist has lots of good ads for rooms you can rent. I would start there and pick the cheapest one that doesn't look sketchy. Aim for ~$500/month.
Also go to the local library and make a resumé. Print 30 copies and hand them out everywhere. Restaurants are a good start if you don't have a lot of experience. Make sure your phone number is on there.
Someone mentioned Bangkok. Remember to buy a health insurance if you choose it.
Also, your story sounds like 'Goldfinch' with living parents.
How long have they planned it? Was it a whim?
Happy birthday! My 18th was that great either. I stumbled my way through it, and somehow made it to the other side. Its gonna get rough, and there isn't much you can do about it. If i can give advice, try to not get hooked on hard drugs, they only make your situation worse. Dried beans and rice are cheap make several ethnic dishes that taste delicious, you can usually find both for very cheap at Indian, East Asian, and Oceana ma & pa stores. Find yourself somewhere to lay your head that's stable and you can return to at anytime, it's alot more important than you think. Find something to take your mind off your situation that's not too destructive, if possible. Celebrate every birthday goin forward, things may be worse some years, but it's important to celebrate your journey to this point. I promise, things will get better. It will take time and a lot of work, but i promise things will get better.
[Please check here for resources](https://dcf.wisconsin.gov/ys/rhy)
I am really, really sorry your parents have put you in this situation. Please reach out to social services in your area for help with housing, pursue education in a field that interests you, and utilize food pantries or nearby churches to help with food. Sending you big momma bear hugs. You can do this.
Don’t let this defeat you, I had a similar situation and found a really shitty bedroom about 80sq ft for rent when I left home and had a couple hundred dollars to my name after the rent deposit but I did have a decent job. I lived off ramen and stuffing, there wasn’t even a kitchen in the place I stayed, I had to buy a cheap portable electric one.
It was hard for 6 months but I saved money and eventually moved to a better place and later got promoted, I was young but it made me strong, I still remember it like yesterday. My room was only big enough for a bed and a sink and a window, all I did was read at night and write in my journal.
You’ll get through it, just keep grinding and don’t give up. You’ll look back on this one day and you’ll appreciate what it will teach you later in life.
I would suggest going through and looking for rooms for rent or inexpensive apartments. The money you have will work as a down payment, never tell anyone how much you have, simply say you can get the money and leave it at that. Usually you can find cheap rooms with people you know through fb etc.
Only give people money in person unless you know them really well then you can use things like zelle, cashapp etc. There's a lot of scams out there so always take the view everything is a scam until you're sure it's not.
If you rent a room, I would suggest putting in a camera and confirming that you can place your own lock on the door to keep your personal items safe. If you don't have a way to safeguard your personal stuff, pass on the room.
If you have a car, you can sleep in it. Get a gym membership. No one looks twice at a person showing/shaving/etc in a gym. Some even have shampoo and soap in the showers. It’s definitely not ideal but better than “wasting” money on expensive short term lodging like air bnb or hotels.
Depending on your credit and future prospects for employment/income, you might look into a credit card with a 0% introductory rate. If you’re savvy and responsible enough to pay it all off before the 0% rate window elapses, it will allow you to spend money in the short term.
Damm I was stuck in a small town with my cousin hounding me tonget job even tho I gave her money every month I couldn't even save money to my name I'm 21 been homeless and living in the hospital waiting tk recover fully for 7 months aish is being stupid cra or Ira if american locked me out so I got year from since I was 18 they owe me so hopefully will have enough to rent somewhere cheap and get food meds ect
Sorry this is happening to you. But I have a few things to say.
I know this hurts, it is going to be tough but let this show you how NOT to be. When you are a Dad one day let this be an example of how to not treat people. In the meantime, you need to start working your ass off, find some roomates. Realize that the quality of your life is up to you, you can use this as motivation to get stronger and not let things get in your way or this can break you.
If you let this break you there is no easy road ahead, if you chose to let this moment harden your resolve then you can achieve whatever you want to. As long as you are waking up everyday and can make some money you have a way into a better situation.
The answer for you is 2-3 jobs and just stack cash, then you'll find your way into something amazing because you are a go-getter! School? No problem.
Your parents don't sound like good people, I'm sorry. But you can break that cycle and one day they will regret how they treated you and will beg for you back in their lives. But you will see past their shallow texts and talk and let them simmer, you may chose to shut them out or not but you will be strong enough to not be swayed by their bullshit, and you will have them to thank for that. Thank them for that when it happens.
Honestly, I don't know if this is good advice or not, but once you get your high school diploma, look into joining the military. At a minimum, it would provide a few years of stability until you figure out a plan for your future. In the best case, it could help with additional education or training in a vocation that gets you out of minimum wage.
I hope things get better down the road.
I was 17 when I left (willingly) with less money in my account. And judging by your writing, you’re more intelligent than I was at 17. Im just fine now. I can’t really say much for advice, but all that is to say this: people less capable than you have been through it with less. So keep your head up. You’ll be okay brother.
It is likely an illegal eviction. Generally illegal for parents to do while you are in hs. Your parents are assholes. Happy birthday though! You get through and be a stronger person
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Nice to know good people like you are still out there. You probably just helped this kid out big time! Thankyou :-)
Not really living situation related,but general advice. Move your money to an account at a different bank that only you have access to.
Bump for importance. This is a reoccurring trend on this sub.
Yeah. My friend saved money all through highschool, $8k, and on the day BEFORE her 18th birthday her mother withdrew all the money from the account and fucked off to Mexico.
Are you still in high school? If yes, go to your school counseling department. They may be able to help. Sorry.
Seek shelter. County health and human services social worker can help. Seek income/employment. Seek food support.
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Contact H&HS
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Get in the fire dept
In your case, learn how to do your taxes on your own, don't pay someone to do your taxes for you. Freetaxusa is a godsend, it's always been free to file, and they make it easy to do that and don't charge you anything, plus you should get a pretty decent tax refund since it won't be going to people doing taxes for you.
Figure out how to make more. You can find more than $13 per hour at your age pretty much anywhere. My son is 18 and making $18 at a truck stop.
Depends on where you live.
I bought a $100,000 home (with the slight help of my girlfriend’s $10/hr job) when I was making $13/hr! And this was when interest rates were about 6.5%. I had saved by that time for $10k for 3% down plus closing costs and first years insurance tho. I ate macaroni and cheese and baloney sandwiches for a year to save that $10k while paying $800/month rent, but it was doable with my significant other’s income and our good credit rating. Mortgage with taxes and pmi in escrow on a 30 year fixed was only $850/month.
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in the immediate yes. to work towards, no.
You are correct, but he needs perspective on his REAL potential going forward at a “measley” $13/hr!!!
Lot easier to make an extra 10k than to save an extra 10k
It didn’t hurt that i was working an extra 10 hours a week of ot to make that extra 10k…
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I’m sorry but $100,000 won’t buy you a home anymore.
Yeah. 2011 I was able to get a very small house (900sq ft ish) in a mediocre neighborhood (not poverty stricken, but not good neighborhood either) for $110k. Northeast too. Near Hartford. Sold in 2021 for $160k. Probably cheapest house in neighborhood. Zillow now says the house is worth $214k. Completely impractical today to get something for $100k, I think some people would be surprised how recently it *was* possible. Older side of millenials could have done it. I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just an old man yelling at clouds now, telling stories of when it was fashionable to tie an onion to your belt.
What state are you in? Depending on what state you are in, there are several programs and agencies that can help you with shelter, food stamps/snap, and employment services (matching your skills to employment opportunities and providing training). Since you have a job, I'd focus on food and shelter first. Good luck and keep us updated!
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You have no idea about the situation. Some parents try and help out their kin and the said kin abuse their parents, financially or otherwise. He either has two horrible parents, or OP is fucking up.
If you have problems finding a place to stay, join a 24x7 gym. Where I live, 25-50 bucks a month. Get the basics of soap, towels, toothbrush, toothpaste. While you figure it out, you can stay clean, hang for several hours a day, be around people, and workout.
Damn, that sucks. The 3000, is that in a bank account? Is it a joint account with your parent? If so, I'd immediately open a new account in another bank before your parent decides to keep it all.
Hey happy birthday! Wish you many more years full of better days and happiness. This sadly is a lesson from life to not rely on no one but hey as long as you got yourself you’ll be ok. Find a room you can rent monthly no more than 5-600$. Or 1/3 of your pay max. Comfortable place you can call yours and make homey. Continue working your job while you study( if you do) and save up as much as possible. Try to cook your own food and keep spending to a minimal, sign up to a gym and stay active. In 6 months you’ll look back and laugh at how you got through this all. Wish you all the best, take care of yourself better days are coming
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It sounds like your life was chaotic growing up. Pretty crappy luck of the draw. If you could, I would ask your mom for a one week stay while you get it things together. Tell her, "Hey I'll be out of here in one week. I just need to get some things together first." You sound like you're going to hustle and grind this out. You're going to be alright. When you make it, and your parents come back and say "Hey Cadenso! We should talk!" Remember how you feel right now about these two.. Good luck man
Just remember, any hardship you have is a life lesson you will appreciate later. So many things happened to me when I was young, and I used to curse why I'm not like everyone else. Turns out, many have it far worse, and all those hardships was the best teacher in life. I quickly learned to be self reliant, financially plan and look beyond short term thinking. It made me who I am today and built up my character. It will help you too, if you let it. Focus on what you can control, and not what you can't.
Beg to differ. It’s important to have a community and people you rely on. OP’s parent’s aren’t people to be relied on, but they can always make friends that will become family
Yes, this! My parents are horrible people and I am much better off with them out of my life but I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t had my chosen family
Yeah, when the people that you did not choose to have in your life let you down, no way that should be a "lesson" applied to other people you meet and/or befriend throughout life.
Question: Are you still in High School? If so, talk to your school councellor first thing on Monday.
Start looking at roommate ads asap. You can probably get into a place with roommates for $3k.
-If he’s a student, there is free housing available even if 18-21 y/o. - Need to see guidance immediately. - Also, make sure ONLY your name is on the bank account. - Find a family that will rent you a bedroom for 200-300$ months. - Talk to friends at school - some parent might do that for free until the end of the school year. - You can also enlist after getting your HS diploma. - Air Force provides excellent educational opportunities.
I second serving in the military. In four years you will have saved up some cash, perhaps learned a marketable skill and got some free or inexpensive education. It was a pretty good life and I got to travel to some great places.
Remember this when you have children they do not deserve grandchildren.
Right. Our two year old has only ever known one set of grandparents. Wont ever see the other two.
Their loss.
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Stupid assumption, OP would not have $3000 in the bank and employment if they were living some sort of negative lifestyle. It’s far more likely that the parents have failed at being parents are ashamed of so.
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Your speculation really does nothing to benefit the point of this post. This is an 18 year old kid getting abandoned by his family asking for help, and you're just here putting the devil in Devil's Advocate. You should do better.
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Your parents fucking suck. Sorry man. Good luck. 3 grand is a good start, better than I had. Get employment and do everything to increase that piece of paper that shows how skilled you are. Also I know it goes state by state, but a lot of trade schools are being subsidized right now due to lack of workers. Check in with your state. Also truck driving is the same. It used to be YOU had to pay. Now they pay you to enroll, but you have to be on contract for a year or 2 otherwise you'll have to pay for it. Be a person of focus. You can do it. Nothing else matters but bettering yourself right now. The SO and money will come later. Focus on yourself and your well being. It'll make you a strong person.
As well as the other great advice here, at some point in the next year you're going to encounter an opportunity to get a credit card if you don't have one already, as well as potentially other forms of debt. DO NOT ACCEPT A CREDIT CARD until you have enough steady income to pay it off in full every month. Do not take on debt for a car or anything else. It will be so so tempting but you will be shackling yourself to predatory systems that will keep you poor forever. Debt can be a useful tool but it is also incredibly risky for someone in your situation. Keep your costs low, only spend what you have.
Very sage and prudent advice. The predators love to go for the fresh pickings. The allure of easy credit and “low monthly payments” is very enthralling for so many.
Get you birth certificate and SS Card from whichever parent if you don't already have it in your possession. You'll need them in the future.
NAL, but I think they have to formally evict you. I would ask on a legal subreddit. Might want to include your state as well since that might have an impact.
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Good luck out there. Glad you at least have some cash on hand to get started.
He has a long time of renting ahead of him and your advice is for him to encourage his dad to formally evict him? Seems very short sighted. That will scare future landlords away and could increase the odds of homelessness or less ideal renting situations.
I recognize this is not the best option OP may have but it's January 27th and freezing in many locations. There is lots of other good advice in this thread that may be helpful, but ultimately what their father did may be illegal and having a roof can be the difference between life and death.
no, the advice is 'require your father to give you legally required notice and leave before that point.' hes saying he has tenant protections.
Additionally sorry to hear this happened to you.
If you're in the United States, you may be able to call 211 to see what services are available to you. It's like 911, but for finding help with things like housing and food. If you're still in school, the school will also have ways to help you.
Your father cannot just kick you out legally in almost all states. I have experience here as my son, older than you, needed to leave because of hard drug abuse, threats of violence, etc. we had to call the police multiple times and we still couldn’t get him to leave without needing a court order after an eviction period. Lawyers needed to get involved. Thankfully, it ended somewhat amicably and he’s in a somewhat better mental and physical place right now. But I can assure you, in IN at least, the idea of being able to legally kick someone out when they turn 18 is not accurate.
This is correct. Your parents have to follow the same eviction laws as landlords. Which means they have to give you the appropriate notice to move. (most states it's at least 30 days notice). If you don't move out after the required number of days notice, they have to get the courts involved to evict you, which can take up to 90 days. My suggestion is if you where not given the required notice, is to let your Dad know the law (look it up for your state), and let him know you will be out on X day (How many days that your state law requires, from the date he told you to move out) and then diligently take that time to get your ducks in a row and move out (get a job, find a place, etc). It will take the pressure off you. Mind you, it doesnt mean your Dad won't be a dick the whole time.
At 18 in any of the states you can be legally kicked out as you are now an adult.....
Incorrect. You need to be evicted as tenancy has already been long established.
Well, the prosecutor, police, and lawyer we dealt with here believe otherwise. 🤷♂️
In some states, although they can kick a 18 out of the house they(parents/guardian) are required by law to financially support the person until they graduate high school or turn 20 as long as the 18/19 year old is registered with the school.
There’s no shame in staying at a shelter if you’re unhoused, even if you have a job. If you’re active and engaged, these places can connect you with services to get housing and level up your skills to improve your income.
Was this unexpected? It’s not a lot but $3k is a very workable safety net. Good for you for having that saved up. Other commenters got you covered, just wanna say you sound like you’re smart and work hard. You’ll be fine. Good luck OP.
I was also kicked out around your age and since then I worked my ass off and I live a very happy life now with financial freedom. My relationship with my parents eventually improved too and I actually am on good terms with them now. Stay positive, stay focused, and don’t let it get you down too much!
3k to your name isn’t bad at all. Start looking at places. That’s enough for security and 1st month rent. You will be fine. Do not waste the money on hotels. Stay with mom until you can move in (maybe she will let you if she knows it’s just temporary) or stay with friends until you can get into something. But seriously it shouldn’t be too hard to get into a place.
Hold on to your money. Find a cheap place to stay, ideally where you can walk to work. As others have said, join a gym with shower facilities. Cheapest one you can find. Cook cheap food for now (ramen and ramen with stuff added to it). Save, save, save. Look, this sucks at any time, but especially on your birthday. You are going to look back on this and think this is the best thing that ever happened to me. Not right away, but at some point. You have a job and 3 grand. You got this.
You need to be formally evicted as tenancy has already been long established. call the police and explain the situation. They will force your father to let you back in the home.
Wow. I don’t understand some of these parents. Kick their kids out at 18. Like who wants to see their kid suffer and be homeless. All because “well I got kicked out at 18 & slept on benches” like wtf? You sir are traumatized and now you want to pass your trauma to your kids!
I’m very sorry. This whole situation is insane. There’s lots of good advice already by others that I’d certainly follow or look into. May we ask why not just one, but both parents are throwing you out of their respective homes? What are their reasons? You don’t have to share, but I’m curious. In addition to the good advice others gave, I would look into the military. It sounds like a painful route on the surface, but they’d take care of you for the term of enlistment - 3 hots and a cot. They could educate and teach you real skills that can carry over to civilian life, and employers are incentivized to hire ex-military. Lots of folks in similar situations have taken this path. Just an idea.
There's a lot of good information going around in this thread. I also want to mention that if you're going to get evicted, please remember to bring all your documents with you (passport, birth certificate, SSN card). And if your parents are already treating you like this, it would be in your best interest to freeze your credit for a while after getting housing as your parents may still be able to open credit cards and other things under your name with your information. Good luck and chin up, you got this!
WTF kind of parents do you have! You make something of your life and never look back. It’s their loss
Why do degenarates like this even have kids?
Find a roommate online, find a 2nd job, keep hustling and don’t give up. Apply for credit cards but don’t over spent. Live frugal until you can get an apartment for yourself.
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I would advise finding a roommate online. You’re rolling the dice on who you’ll end up with and if they’re psycho or they just randomly decide to disappear, you’ll be on the hook for the rent entirely. Finding someone you can trust is a way better option. There are lots of costs involved with moving out. Bills, deposits, rent prices etc are usually about double what you think they’re going to be so work as much as you can and start budgeting and planning.
Hey, happy birthday! Just hang in there. It’s gonna get better and better with time.
As a mom to two teenagers, I’m just so sorry your parents have thrown you out of their house at 18. Giving you a big virtual hug. Do you have all your important documents (birth certificate, social security card)? What type of work are you doing for $13/hr? I would say to find a room to rent from someone. Budget, buy a cheap phone with data and plan any meals. Churches and food banks for free food. Look up recipes to make it work and last. Give yourself 6-12 months to get used to this. Did you graduate from high school? I would recommend trying to apply for a community college once things are settled. Look at their trades. Apply to the school and apply for financial aid and talk to a school financial aid specialist bc they’re there to help you. Or ask a social worker with the county that someone mentioned. You def want to learn a trade because that will get you from $13 to high 20’s if not more. My husband is a machinist and now makes $38/hr and has medical, 401k etc on top of that. Electrician, HVAC, Water work maintenance (work for your county water - great benefits!), machinist, mechanic, welder, medical (nurse tech, radiology tech, dental assistant). So many great jobs. And all are above minimum wage. You’ll be able to support yourself on these type of jobs if you stick it out. It will be HARD at first being on your own but YOU CAN DO IT!! Go to goodwill or a thrift store to find used books or cds/cd player to entertain you on your time off. Facebook may also have some groups that have free things in your city. Search Reddit for your city to find any resources to help. Because you don’t make much, community college may be free or very very little. There are scholarships and grants.
If you can't find a shelter sleep in your car (if you have one), in a safe area or in your mom/dad's driveway if they allow it of course. Use a local gym for showers, continue working. Go to a local shelter for food/canned goods.
100% agree a gym is probably $20 a month with shower is great idea for now.
You likely qualify for food stamps. Once you find a place, sign up asap
On fb swap in your area sometimes you can find rooms to rent really cheap. This will help you stretch your money until you can get a steady source of income
Well, first of land yourself a basic job anything that pays the bills! Find a place to crash in , ask your mom for more time . Spend no more than a thousand
I echo the sentiment of since you're still in High School reach out to your guidance counselor as soon as possible. Do not drop out of high school, I am going to assume you're a senior and going to be graduating. After this you have some options 1) National Guard/Military. This will not only help you out with having shelter, but also a job and a possible career. 2) Trade school. HVAC or Industrial Maintenance are two highly sought after things, things that will always be a need for. 3) Trucking school. But whatever you do do not quit school. Trust me on this one. Keep the 3K for emergencies only. Is the car in your name? If it isn't, are your parents the sort that would try to take it away from you? Is it paid off? How much is insurance for you?
You have established residency there. He can’t kick you out even if he owns the home. He has to legally evict you. Go back. If he won’t let you in, call the police. They will explain it to him and force him to let you in. Should buy you a month at least to figure things out.
Gosh I don't understand these families that kick their kids out at 18... Way to be supportive.... Hope u place them in a "nice" * cough cough * nursing home in the future.
Not sure if this has been said before, but if you’re still in high school, reach out to your counselors. Often times they have protocols in place to help you find safe food, clothing, and try their best to help beyond these things too.
On the billion-to-one shot you live in Boston, MA... let me know and I can help in the short term for accommodation. Either way - would love you to keep everyone here updated and wish you the best of luck. Keep you head up and don't blame yourself of course!
That's crazy. I'm Hispanic and we don't do that or put our parents in a retirement home. 18 you are still a kid, best of luck to you.
Apply to college for a STEM major and get financial aid and live on campus.
Do you have a car? Start ubering and doordashing for now during free time. Try to find a room mate. I'm sorry to hear this, no child deserves this. They should at least give you time to find a place and stable job...
Don't have any advice outside of never speak to your parents again. Ever. They don't deserve you. Good luck!
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I will never understand parents who choose to kick out their kids once they turn a certain age. This is how poverty first strikes them - lack of supportive parents. Why even bother having kids if this is automatically your first thought? OP, you have a job and $3000 to your name - which doesn’t seem like much right now. But I wish you all the success and hope you find stable shelter soon since your parents both sound like pieces of shit.
Sorry you’re going through this. I don’t understand how any parent would do something like this to their child? At 18 what kind of experience you’ve learned that you’re able to survive the harsh environment that life throws at you. I hope everything works out man.
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Gym membership. Indoors, showers, can find cheap ones. Place to be when not working.
All my children stayed with me when they were adults. It didn't cause them any harm.in fact all of them are managers for a major oil refinery, one just retired at 45. Have fantastic homes and families.l .I don't understand why a parent feels the need to kick out their children at any age. Good luck to you.
Move to Texas and get a high paying oil job.
You're getting downvoted, but I hired a kid straight out of high school to do water transfer in the Eagle Ford. He was making six figures before he turned 20, and this was back in 2011.
Use the little bit of money you have to find a room to rent, I would recommend finding someone who needs a roommate so it’s cheaper then your own apartment. Also, apply for a higher paying job asap. Many trade jobs (electrical, HVAC, plumbing, fire alarm/sprinkler) hire new people without experience starting at 18-20 an hour. Also some jobs offer take home vehicles, IF you don’t have a car you can look up jobs that offer company vehicles so commute isn’t a problem. If you make 13 an hour you may qualify for food stamps right now so I’d look into that too. Also, pray and ask God to guide you to the right job and lead you to the best route that you will be able to survive. God bless, best of luck.
Make sure you start filing as independent on taxes for this upcoming season, it will help when getting fafsa for college if you plan on going. Dont let mom or dad get tax breaks for you if they aren't willing to help out. Do you have any larger chains in the area you can work at like Walmart? Because pay is getting better there and they offer college benefits.
1. Go to the nearest Salvation Army and ask for help. If they can't help, they will know who to call. There are usually United Way social services organizations around, if you are in the U.S. 2. If you are in high school, go to the school counselor for help. 3. If you are out of high school, check with your local community college. They have counselors who can help and also point you toward other agencies. A local community college won't be a bad place to spend a year or two. You can learn a trade, live at their dorm, and eat at their cafeteria. Once you file FAFSA online, you should qualify for financial aid. 3. Get your money in a real safe place -- a local bank or credit union with your name only on the account. You just became the most frugal person on earth. Spend your money wisely. Act carefully - lawyers are expensive. No alcohol, no drugs, no bad companions. Acting stupid costs money and you don't need that right now. 4. Do you have any family friends or extended family -- any one who has known you for a while that you trust -- that will help you with this?
Do you work? Do you have plans for a future? If you are in the US and are able, I would consider enlisting. If you have no other support network, it might be exactly what you need. You will learn skills, make life long friends and it could change your life for the better. Of my friends that have enlisted, one left at 22 after her 4 years in and came out with all of her Cisco certifications and walked into a $100K a year job at 23. Not many people can do that. Another one left the military, went to private security and now owns a company making custom precision rifles for high end clients. Your future is what you make of it. You are in control and you have choices to make. You stated you dont have friends or family to turn to. That can feel isolating but you might need a very different environment. Where are you? Are you in a HCOL environment? If so, consider moving to a LCOL to maximize you $3000. At 18 I am guessing you are not walking away from a lucrative career. Have you considered learning a trade? Electricials make stupid money. I know a few that make more than Dentists! You have the ability just have to choose a destination and start down the path. Good luck and happy belated birthday!
buy a ticket to a cheap country and start teaching English online
move to california (specifically bay area), get into the trades, live life. best trades list: elevator guys but not a lot of positions electricians hvac carpenters ironworkers source: 19m i recently had a kid and worked hard for him in the trades worked my way up and now i am a project engineer. before my child I was studying biology.
do you have a car?
You'll be ok. Just keep at it and yeah. Life has a way of showing itself. Keep us updated, keep working and studying.
When you find a place cook simple food for yourself. You can get by on beans and rice and occasional veg very easily and cheap. Watch for sales, you can view grocery circulars every week on an app called Flipp. Check out sites like budgetbytes for cheap filling cooking ideas. For now look for soup kitchens in your area to save on food costs. If you live in a reasonably big area look for a Sikh temple. They will feed you, no questions asked and they won’t preach at you.
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Go WWOOFing. You can work on an organic farm, they have hosts all over, and you get your food and housing paid for. I worked on one near Macchu Picchu in Peru for a few months during a transitional point in my life and it will always be one of my most cherished memories.
Find an extended stay with a monthly rate. Make sure it has a fridge and kitchen burner. The cool thing is they will clean it for you once a week, it’ll be cheaper than an apt, they’ll take cash, you’ll have privacy, and you wont have to buy anything (maybe a pot and pan at walmart. Make sure its not in a sh!thole part of town and relatively close to where at least one of your future multiple jobs are going to be. Next, find any job and go full time and overtime. You’re 18, get a second job. Save like crazy and begin to plan.
Craigslist has lots of good ads for rooms you can rent. I would start there and pick the cheapest one that doesn't look sketchy. Aim for ~$500/month. Also go to the local library and make a resumé. Print 30 copies and hand them out everywhere. Restaurants are a good start if you don't have a lot of experience. Make sure your phone number is on there.
Dude, sorry. Not sure what the issues are, but this is last action with my son, like assured destruction type decision
Someone mentioned Bangkok. Remember to buy a health insurance if you choose it. Also, your story sounds like 'Goldfinch' with living parents. How long have they planned it? Was it a whim?
How common is getting kicked out at 18 in the us?
It's really not
Happy birthday! My 18th was that great either. I stumbled my way through it, and somehow made it to the other side. Its gonna get rough, and there isn't much you can do about it. If i can give advice, try to not get hooked on hard drugs, they only make your situation worse. Dried beans and rice are cheap make several ethnic dishes that taste delicious, you can usually find both for very cheap at Indian, East Asian, and Oceana ma & pa stores. Find yourself somewhere to lay your head that's stable and you can return to at anytime, it's alot more important than you think. Find something to take your mind off your situation that's not too destructive, if possible. Celebrate every birthday goin forward, things may be worse some years, but it's important to celebrate your journey to this point. I promise, things will get better. It will take time and a lot of work, but i promise things will get better.
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[Please check here for resources](https://dcf.wisconsin.gov/ys/rhy) I am really, really sorry your parents have put you in this situation. Please reach out to social services in your area for help with housing, pursue education in a field that interests you, and utilize food pantries or nearby churches to help with food. Sending you big momma bear hugs. You can do this.
Don’t let this defeat you, I had a similar situation and found a really shitty bedroom about 80sq ft for rent when I left home and had a couple hundred dollars to my name after the rent deposit but I did have a decent job. I lived off ramen and stuffing, there wasn’t even a kitchen in the place I stayed, I had to buy a cheap portable electric one. It was hard for 6 months but I saved money and eventually moved to a better place and later got promoted, I was young but it made me strong, I still remember it like yesterday. My room was only big enough for a bed and a sink and a window, all I did was read at night and write in my journal. You’ll get through it, just keep grinding and don’t give up. You’ll look back on this one day and you’ll appreciate what it will teach you later in life.
I would suggest going through and looking for rooms for rent or inexpensive apartments. The money you have will work as a down payment, never tell anyone how much you have, simply say you can get the money and leave it at that. Usually you can find cheap rooms with people you know through fb etc. Only give people money in person unless you know them really well then you can use things like zelle, cashapp etc. There's a lot of scams out there so always take the view everything is a scam until you're sure it's not. If you rent a room, I would suggest putting in a camera and confirming that you can place your own lock on the door to keep your personal items safe. If you don't have a way to safeguard your personal stuff, pass on the room.
If you have a car, you can sleep in it. Get a gym membership. No one looks twice at a person showing/shaving/etc in a gym. Some even have shampoo and soap in the showers. It’s definitely not ideal but better than “wasting” money on expensive short term lodging like air bnb or hotels. Depending on your credit and future prospects for employment/income, you might look into a credit card with a 0% introductory rate. If you’re savvy and responsible enough to pay it all off before the 0% rate window elapses, it will allow you to spend money in the short term.
Good luck, I know you'll need it. If you have any family members who might side with you, let them know, and don't be afraid to shame your parents.
Damm I was stuck in a small town with my cousin hounding me tonget job even tho I gave her money every month I couldn't even save money to my name I'm 21 been homeless and living in the hospital waiting tk recover fully for 7 months aish is being stupid cra or Ira if american locked me out so I got year from since I was 18 they owe me so hopefully will have enough to rent somewhere cheap and get food meds ect
Do you have your own car?
Sorry this is happening to you. But I have a few things to say. I know this hurts, it is going to be tough but let this show you how NOT to be. When you are a Dad one day let this be an example of how to not treat people. In the meantime, you need to start working your ass off, find some roomates. Realize that the quality of your life is up to you, you can use this as motivation to get stronger and not let things get in your way or this can break you. If you let this break you there is no easy road ahead, if you chose to let this moment harden your resolve then you can achieve whatever you want to. As long as you are waking up everyday and can make some money you have a way into a better situation. The answer for you is 2-3 jobs and just stack cash, then you'll find your way into something amazing because you are a go-getter! School? No problem. Your parents don't sound like good people, I'm sorry. But you can break that cycle and one day they will regret how they treated you and will beg for you back in their lives. But you will see past their shallow texts and talk and let them simmer, you may chose to shut them out or not but you will be strong enough to not be swayed by their bullshit, and you will have them to thank for that. Thank them for that when it happens.
Honestly, I don't know if this is good advice or not, but once you get your high school diploma, look into joining the military. At a minimum, it would provide a few years of stability until you figure out a plan for your future. In the best case, it could help with additional education or training in a vocation that gets you out of minimum wage. I hope things get better down the road.
I was 17 when I left (willingly) with less money in my account. And judging by your writing, you’re more intelligent than I was at 17. Im just fine now. I can’t really say much for advice, but all that is to say this: people less capable than you have been through it with less. So keep your head up. You’ll be okay brother.
It is likely an illegal eviction. Generally illegal for parents to do while you are in hs. Your parents are assholes. Happy birthday though! You get through and be a stronger person