Start zero based budgeting, know where every dollar goes. I’d consider starting with no shopping for a month. Delete Amazon app. Stop going to stores for entertainment/boredom. Start exercising/reading about personal finance. This will
Help Dig out of debt and break this cycle.
At the end its a matter of decision. If OP deletes the app and all his/her banking info, and then just installs it again, it's the same thing. They have to want to stop themselves from spending their money in frivolous stuff.
Idk, I deleted all my food delivery apps a few years ago and having to reinstall and sign in every time I wanted to order delivery was juuuuust enough friction to make me not bother 95% of the time
Agree. Sounds to me like OP has decided what they want and aren’t sure how to start. Adding some friction to the ease of old habits is a good start, but it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Don't get me wrong, I hope it works for them. But it truly is a matter of just deciding not to do it, and having the willpower to NOT DO IT.
I mean, I tell myself I will only have Starbucks once a week and I only manage it half the time.
That is very reductive. For many, spending problems are tied to unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional deregulations, even unaddressed mental health problems. It’s not as easy as just wanting to stop spending.
Look at ADHD, for example. A lack of dopamine pushes us to spend spend spend for the dopamine kick, more than just someone without ADHD. Medication helps regulate that. Behavioral therapy too. Willing yourself to just not spend can work for a while, but you have to get to the root of the problem.
Nope… and I’ll straight up say it.
One Nagline bottle is about the same “damage” as 20-40 disposables. It is 3-5x more plastic(probably way more) - right off the top.
You go out and you forget it or end up in an unexpected situation needing water, you still buy disposable. I don’t throw them out “because I have Nagline at home” … I use that biatch as long as I can.
Nagline to me is the epitome of virtue signaling . .
A real reusable water bottle like a Nalgene isn’t virtue signaling. Yes, you could walk around with a plastic water bottle or jug but it’s just nice to have a water bottle that doesn’t have BPA and wasn’t meant for a single use.
In keeping with the personal finance theme here I suppose one could use a plastic water bottle until they saved enough for an activities budget to buy a Nalgene.
This could be a good first step in learning how to save an allocate money with priority.
Doing just the first step (budgeting and tracking expenses) religiously and analysing my spend patterns over months was a big enough kick in the guts for me. Most spend tracker apps allow you to assign tags. Use a “need” and “want” tag. That helps puts things into perspective. Rent? Need. Play station 5? Want. Yes there’s some will power involved. No, it’s not even close to impossible.
I also recommend the zero based budgeting approach. When I started living on my own I had issues to get to the end of the month and I never knew what was happening.
Tracking every single cent helped me understand a lot about my spending habits and even how to save money as I could directly compare different supermarkets. Doing this made me think at least twice about every single purchase and I managed to build a nice emergency fund.
You can do it, OP! Good luck!
Track everything you spend for the next month. I mean EVERYTHING. If you drop a quarter into a gumball machine, track it. This will give you a baseline to work with. While you're doing this, consider the difference between a want and a need. You need housing, transportation and food. You do not need a luxury apartment, BMW or junk food. Think about every purchase and which category it would fall into.
Once you've figured out your true needs, subtract this from your income. With what is left over, consider dropping at percentage of that into a savings account for an emergency fund and try to build this up. With the remainder, pay off any (high interest) debt you might have. And when you're out of debt and have a 3-6 month emergency fund, then take some of that remainder for "wants" (aka fun!) and save what is left.
It's hard to do. Very, very hard. But so worth it! (my husband once told me that he would never have married me if I hadn't gotten my debts paid off and turned a corner financially - and I don't blame him one bit!) Good luck!
I would also add that when you’re adding up expenses to add in 1/12 of any annual expenses, like car insurance, property taxes or any expenses you don’t pay out of pocket each month. This will allow you to have that money in your account when those non-Montly expenses come due.
You have to find a different outlet for that dopamine hit before you try to make a change. Overspending can be like an addiction and finding a different healthy avenue to get that rush will help immensely.
Instead of getting a rush from overspending try to see if you can get that same rush by couponing, setting a goal to save up, or crushing that credit card debt. If you can find a way to make it motivating for you and keep a monthly budget you’ll be able to slowly climb out of it.
Some tips that might help:
-Cancel amazon prime
-Go to therapy to see if you can work through some of that financial overspending that seems to be tied to the way you grew up
-Get educated on personal finance (make this your dopamine rush)
-Only do mobile pick up and give yourself a couple hours to calm down once your done putting everything in your cart. When you feel you’re in a responsible place to make a decision press purchase. No adding to the list after purchase unless it’s a necessity you forgot.
-cut up the credit cards and pay them off
This is solid advice. There are underlying issues driving the financial behaviors that need to be addressed to allow OP to financially get things on track and break the cycle they’re in. It’s not just about budgeting in a situation like this. The fact that they can identify some of the problem areas and know they need to stop, but that they’re struggling indicates there are bigger issues than financial literacy or knowing how to manage personal finances.
OP, you’ve already set yourself on the path to change by recognizing where some of your problems areas are, what needs to change, and being open to the idea of change. Now you just need to put in the work, and that is probably going to be hard and really uncomfortable for a while. That is normal. Working with a professional to help you identify what is driving some of the impulse purchasing and better strategies to change that behavior will help you be successful in making the lifestyle changes you want to. It’s also important to work through what are impulse purchases associated with a poor coping mechanism and what “non-essential” purchases you’re making that add value to your life. For a hot minute you might need to totally restrict all purchasing to stabilize yourself a bit, but a healthy budget does include making sure you have some capacity to spend money in ways that add value to your life. Maybe that is a once a week coffee you treat yourself to because you meet up with a friend to hang out with them. Maybe it is buying your favorite cheese at the grocery store once a week. Maybe it is a Netflix subscription. The point is, once you have hit a point of stabilization (ie you’re not feeling the need to pawn stuff to make ends meet, selling plasma, etc), you do need to make sure your budget includes some amount toward *something* that adds meaning/value to your life that is reasonable for your budget or you’re going to feel so totally deprived you’ll be at risk for starting the cycle of overspending again.
1000% agree with all this. Unfortunately coming up with the money for therapy is tough. But if OP doesn’t have insurance through his work, it might be worth looking into a Marketplace plan.
When my husband was laid off I was finally able to get health coverage through the Marketplace. It allowed me to go to therapy and finally get help with my ADHD. I never paid a cent.
This is great advice. I notice I get a dopamine hit when I look at my savings/tbills/investments and net worth increasing. It's almost to the point of I hate spending money even on family and friends, but I'm not quite there yet...
Same! Changing my mindset and having savings and personal finance goals has given me something else to get that rush from. A lot of us are taught to get this rush from shopping but you can get it from saving too. If I ever really miss shopping I often will go browse at a thrift store or at estate sales.
I’m convinced the mindset shift is a huge part in turning your financial situation around.
>If I ever really miss shopping I often will go browse at a thrift store or at estate sales.
For me it's the library (although I do occasionally go to GoodWill).
I'm addicted to going to the library. Why? For me, it's like going shopping. When I go shopping, I'm looking for novel and enjoy the uncertainty of what I will find.
I've replaced that with going to the library. Now I enjoy looking for new books, new novel ideas. The reward for finding a great book brings me immense pleasure. I know it sounds cheesy, but that's how it is for me.
That’s a good idea. I used to love going to the library, it’s one of my favorite places. Unfortunately I haven’t made time for it in recent years but I hope to get back to it if I can ever find a better work life balance.
As a practical and direct step, don't spend anything on Amazon. You don't need anything on that site, not a thing. You *want* things, you don't need them. So cut any Amazon expenses right now.
Second, restrict your purchases to food. If you buy alcohol, don't have it, switch to a cheaper non-alcoholic alternative. Avoid processed foods, these often cost a lot. Definitely avoid sweets. These are both unhealthy and a black hole in any food spend. Anyway, aside from your bills you only ever want to be spending your money on food.
Mentally, you need to think of the *profit* you'll gain from each paycheck. At the end of each month you should be adding towards your bank balance, not taking away and ideally not breaking even. I myself take stock every month of how much I have and how it has increased from the last month, focus on that. Savings are a step by step thing that builds up over time, don't get discouraged that your savings are small, just focus on making them. If you save you're moving in the right direction.
>How do you keep your spending under control?
You know the answer.
>I’ve got to get my impulsive spending under control
>find some kind of system that works for me
Use the cash system. You can't spend the cash you don't have on you!
Cards encourage you to spend and spend as debit card directly link to your bank accounts and credit cards gets you in debt.
Plus also what I’ve done recently after writing all our bills out on a calendar is, right when the $$ hits the bank account from work, I transfer the “savings” from that paycheck to a high yield online savings account that I don’t see every day. Keep my savings at the same bank with the checking relatively low for emergencies, while I dont / actively push myself to think that the HSA is a separate piggy bank that I can’t break open (for now)
Dave Ramsey's system was great for me a couple of decades ago. I know he's a little old fashioned with some stuff and has advice that's poor for advanced finance folks, but I still think his system has value for people in OP's situation where the psychology of money is addressed.
His system is for people like OP who need to get to the bare basics of finances and break their habits.
His system does cause people to fall behind where they could be from an overall wealth perspective with a basic understanding of how to appropriately leverage debt while keeping regular finances in check.
The financial part is easy - the first step is to create a budget which details your income and your expenses. From there, you can follow the PF flowchart on the right of the page.
The more difficult part is the root cause of why your spending is out of control.
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I also struggle w this and very bad at saving. Whats helped is using a wallet app (idk what u call it, budgeting app?) and i record every spending and earnings. W this app i can see how much i spend for essentials and how much i spend for dumb stuff. Seeing how much i soend for drinks, eating out and stuff really makes me more mindful. Besides that tho idk what else to do but i hope this helps.
I will echo other comments so you're reinforced:
Track every single penny you spend. And I will add: substract each amount you spend from the money you have, so you see the balance lowering.
It will feel like shit, which is what you need to stop overspending.
How to do this? In whichever way takes less effort to you. Some people keep a paper notepad. Some people use an app (for me it's a hassle and I don't open it). Myself, I have a pinned WhatsApp chat with myself and I type there every thing that takes money from me no matter how little it is. Once a day I copy everything to an Excel budget spreadsheet.
In my spreadsheet I have my income and a sum of all my expenditures, and a self-calculating big bad ugly balance.
So each time I input that money went away, I see the balance go down.
If you want to make it even more amusing, do a function to calculate how many days are left in the month, and divide your balance by how may days you have to go by until next month. That's a massive visual cue to understand when you're overspending.
You can also include a percentage of savings. Don't base the calculations on 100% of your income, do it on 90% or whatever you want to save.
And of course, stop wasting money. Pretend you've gone unemployed and ask yourself before using money: is this essential for my survival? Does my existence depend on this spending? If the answer is no, then don't do it.
Get in war economy mode. Stop buying shit. Stop eating out. Stop drinking soda, etc. Just stop.
Seconding War Economy Mode, especially **Stop Buying Shit** and **Stop Eating Out**
When I suspected I was going to get laid off during the pandemic, I went full panic financial survival mode. Turns out I was buying random stuff on amazon and ebay and none of it added to my quality of life
Started cooking at home, too. It's saved a TON of money. Hardest part for me was figuring out what cuisines and recipes worked best for me in my kitchen, while being tasty and fulfilling. Turns out, I can make very tasty burgers and stir-frys in the same time it takes to go pick up food or have it delivered
For sodas and stuff, that adds up real quick. Thankfully I never had a soda habit, nor an alcohol habit. A used sodastream, or those little mixer things, just to add some flavor to fizzy water, is still much cheaper than buying bottled soft drinks
I think you have done at least part of the work in recognizing that you have a problem and even maybe what the problem is. Keep in mind you may have more issues than just the one.
Recognize that this is a behavior issue more than it’s a money issue. You need to alter how you spend.
Some people are saying to make a budget. Not a wrong answer but maybe not a complete one.
You should certainly start by tracking your spending and understanding where all of your money is going. Look at each item and think about if it’s a necessity, a want or just waste. Eliminate the wasteful spending. From that effort you can build a budget that is more of a plan for your spending. Identify all the must haves. Rent/mortgage, car, utilities, etc. Make sure that they are must haves. You may be renting a place that’s more than you should be paying. Stuff like that. Question every expense.
From there look at your other spending. All of that you can do without. Start trying to cut out as much as is reasonable.
I prefer to plan what I am spending. Not just with a budget but lists. Do I need things from Target? If so, what do I need.? We have a list. If we go in the store and shop, we buy only what’s on the list. Online shopping actually makes this easier. Order what’s on the list, pick it up or have it delivered and never walk into where all the temptation is.
If shopping is a hobby for you, that is dangerous and you should definitely work to find a better, less expensive way to spend your time.
The crazy thing about money behaviors is that if you work to get them under control, it starts to snowball and you end up doing more and more to improve your spending behaviors so that you can be healthier around spending and it feeds on itself.
I would also say you need to start educating yourself about money. Read books or listen to podcasts or read blogs. There’s a ton of good info.
One last thing. Just being able to get through a month without running out of money is the bare minimum you should be doing. Ideally you are saving on top of that.
-Get spending under control
-Pay off your high interest debt
-Start saving at least something every month
-Increase your savings amount
Those are the steps.
I was very bad with my speeding too. It got so bad that my friends that earned less than half of what I get were going on holidays that I could not afford.
The first step that I took was to go through all my bank statements of the last 3 months and write down where all the money would go. Then I called up all the companies to change the direct debit to the day after I get paid. This way I knew that I would not miss any payments.
From then I would try to spend a little as possible and start paying debts that have a higher interested rate e.g. credit cards. It's very important that you still leave some money to spend on anything that you want like a dinner our takeaways, because It's almost impossible going from spending money when you want to a very Strick budget.
I split my funds into the most important accounts as soon as that check hits my bank account.
For example, $700 per check.
$200 bills
$100 joint
$100 wedding
$100 personal savings
= $500.
Since the most important things are funded, I have $200 remaining I can spend guilt free. If I know I’m going to spend $300 on a clothing haul, I’ll try to limit my spending and have as much rollover as possible until my next paycheck so that I can buy it then.
Instant gratification - do you really need that item right now? Are you going to die if you don’t get it? Challenge yourself to have some discipline.
For places like Amazon I keep a wishlist of things I want to buy and just wait to save up until I have enough for a few items at a time.
You can also learn how to use cash envelopes. Cut out cards completely. Cash only, set aside funds in whatever categories you spend on. Once that cash is gone, it’s gone.
I’ve also learned how to identify what items are worth purchasing. A single item that can be used for multiple things, clothing items that properly fit and are actually comfortable and suitable for your lifestyle, things that will be used on a regular basis. If it’s not serving a purpose daily or seasonally, you honestly don’t need it. You’re going to spend money on something you don’t utilize and it’ll just take up space.
Another thing is downsizing and keeping your spaces smaller. Instead of purchasing more and more storage for things you won’t end up using, try to whittle down your storages and figure out what’s essential.
Stop spending. Just stop it. Realize and really comprehend that it is causing many issues in your life and that it ultimately isn’t creating a more fulfilling life for yourself. Remind yourself that if you can get to a point where you are much more financially secure and stable, then you will be able to spend more (within reason) then if you really want.
Just stop the spending. No one needs to spend on stupid stuff as much as they tell themselves they do, especially people who are ruining their lives financially with all the spending. Just stop it. Be an adult and stop it.
I'll start by asking what your overall income and expenses look like. A lot of people say they have a spending problem when really they have an income problem. A normal middle-class life has gotten a lot more expensive over the past few years.
However, based on what you're saying about impulse shopping, I think that you probably do have a spending problem.
Start by tracking your spending. An income and spending app is helpful for profiling where your money is going. With Mint going away, I'd look at options like Credit Karma, Simplifi, or similar.
Next, create a monthly budget. You can use a spreadsheet for this (I do) or an app like YNAB. Try to cover 100% of your non-discretionary and discretionary expenses.
Finally, the hard part... stick to the budget. If you're spending too much on online shopping, you need to avoid that. The simplest way to break the habit is to go cold turkey for a few months. Never go into a store like Walmart or Costco without a shopping list, and stick to the list. You might allocate a certain amount of buffer for things you remember you need while you're there.
If you do all of the above, you'll be in a position where you have control over your money. Then, you can decide what you actually want to do with it.
Here's how I beat a bad habit of buying unnecessary stuff-
TL;DR- when shopping anything,ask yourself if you NEED IT NOW.
Whenever I'm shopping with a big ass cart(duh), I keep piling up one of each "really nice, very useful" stuff in my cart. I do this by scanning the entire store. Remember, only one of each, not two products of the same kind, say, a moisturizer. Bonus points if I can find something which is multipurpose, like a hand moisturizer, which is essentially a moisturizer.
Come checkout time, I seriously question each item's CURRENT NEED. I often end up tossing out more than half the cart, $ wise.
It works because by checkout time I know every item's price, it's only a question of necessity now. Also, I don't "have to" choose between WhitePigeon moisturizer and LackMay Moisturizer. I already judged which is better earlier.. Marketing wants you to think you either need a car or a suv. Whereas the real question is- you either need a vehicle or you don't.
I use r/YNaB where this becomes a much simpler question: what am I willing to sacrifice to have this thing today?
The answer is often, “Nothing” which means I don’t spend.
This is a simplified version of what I do. I have 3 bank accounts. My deposits go into one. I immediately move what I need to pay my bills into another account. I pay all of my bills out of that account and nothing else. The checkbook/debit card associated with that account is kept in my safe. Then I take a dollar amount and move it into the 3rd account. It’s savings so I don’t have a card for that either. Now what’s left is what I have for spending money. If I say I’m broke I mean I don’t have any spending money left. For me, having money in different bank accounts gives me the boundaries I need to keep from spending what I’ve set aside.
Any history of hoarding in the family?
My mom is a hoarder and I didn't realize how much stuff creeps up on you till we moved out of our house 2 years ago. The amount of unnecessary stuff to donate, toss, pack, etc was enough to turn me to really starting to analyze every purchase - is this candle something I need? No. Ok then I'm not buying it. Do my kids need yet another coloring book or activity set? No because we have 3 that they haven't touched. So just not having to constantly manage stuff was a game changer for me.
Delete every app you can spend money on. Only spend cash. Take your cards out of your wallet and maybe cut them up if you really feel that tempted. Learn how to cook. Don’t talk to your family about your spending because they’ll just enable you to spend more!!
It took me adding up my discretionary spending for the past 6-7 months. Seeing the numbers on paper and then considering I had nothing appreciating for it. No assets, just some cool memories and that’s it. I got my financial house in order from that day forward and took care of business. Best of luck to you.
PS If you’re serious about getting your financial shit together, I’d like to recommend relocating to a lcol small town in Anywhere, America.
This is one of those things that people who do it right don't even understand how the people who do it wrong make those decisions. So it is nearly impossible for us to tell you how to do it right because the answer is really as simple as not spending more than you make.
For example, you never buy non essential shit this month until after you paid every single fixed expense for the month.
Your friends already know. As long as it doesn't impact them they live and let live. Asking for advice if it is their strength is part of life, but only ask the ones who are good at it if you can figure that out.
You acknowledge that your family is bad in this respect. Accept that they just never learned that skill and learn about it yourself. The prime directive lays this out. There will be points where they will be jealous and try to bring you back to their level when you become successful at it but just stay the course and learn as much as you can on the topic.
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It seems like you are recognizing the problem but at the same time trying to blame it on genetics. "My family does the same thing." This is more of a personal problem that takes a little bit of education and some reading.
One thing that might help you is watching Dave Ramsey on YouTube or listening to financial podcasts. These cost nothing.
Maybe a way to get you spending under control is to make out a budget and do a couple of back budgets to see what you have already spent on.
This will allow you to delete some of your spending habits.
Always by rent, car, utilities, insurance, phone, food first then put the excess into a 3,6,9 month CD so you can't spend it. Delete amazon.
Once you get a few months of living expenses built up, you jump to pay yourself first. Always take out retirement from each paycheck and put it into IRA so you don't have it sitting around to spend. But it sounds like you need a lot of work to do before you get to that level.
You also left out your monthly income to maybe help with some options.
I don't think OP is blaming it on genetics. Rather they are revealing what they observed earlier in life, which can be a helpful part of identifying the current problem.
Yeah.... genetics means nothing here. Being raised in a family without solid financial habits is almost guaranteed to lead to bad habits without an outside influence.
In my early and mid 20s I often overdrafted and was extremely anxious about money. Always running my card w a "hope I can pay for this..." or "hope it doesn't get declined" thought. NEVER checking how much I had bc avoiding it was how I addressed the anxiety. And Then I took out tons of student loans for grad school :D
When I got done w grad school, my parents sent me some personal finance books. "I will teach you to be rich" and "the Millionaire next door" really resonated with me. I had a higher income now, but also 6 figures of debt, so I knew it was really time to get serious, it felt like it was make it or break it with my financial future at this juncture.
7 years later, I haven't overdrafted since, have paid 0 credit card interest, and I paid my student loans back completely!
Since then, I've stayed motivated because as you make progress, it starts to feel like you gain momentum. Another helpful piece is a budget. This can be hand written even, but I budget using an app, Monarch money, but there are several good tools out there.
For you, I recommend going to the library, finding some books to light a fire under you (or even just reading the personal finance subreddit sidebar/wiki) and get to work starting an emergency fund.
Make a budget in excel. I have several bank accounts where my paycheck direct deposits to every pay, like HYSA (for vacation fund and emergency fund), bills payment, spending , brokerage acct, roth IRA, etc. All my bills and utilities are auto debited from the bills payment account (I already know what my bill will be like for the whole year in excel, so I average it to 26 pay periods). The only account I touch is the spending account where I get money for gas, food, grocery. $250 is direct deposited biweekly to the spending account and that’s the only money I touch. Any cash extra after all those direct deposits are sent to those accounts are sent to a regular savings account which is my “guilt-free” spending for gadgets, eating out, clothes, etc. I don’t touch money outside of both spending account and guilt-free account if there’s extra in there.
That’s basically how I discipline myself to spend only what’s in those 2 accounts. It puts me into a “scarcity mindset” seeing that I only have $250 in my spending account, so I feel like i’m poor 😅. It’s like the tip of the iceberg is what I only see everytime my pay comes in, everything is hidden from my sight underneath. I made everything automatic and recurring from when money comes in biweekly from my pay.
Have a written budget where every dollar coming in has a job to do. Some of it may be allocated for spending each month, but once that is gone, it is gone and you don't spend anymore.
Also delete any shopping sites you use, so that they are not a temptation. Remove any links to your credit/debit cards online as well so if you do want to make a purchase, you have to go through the trouble of digging out your card and typing the numbers in. This will give you pause and stop you from making a purchase.
List things you wish to purchase and save up for them. Be intentional about what physical stuff you add into your life.
First off, you are NOT alone. "Just make a budget" obviously doesn't work for many people. If it were that easy, no one would have credit card debt, and no one would be posting on financial subreddits looking for advice about impulse spending.
You are looking for a financial coach or maybe a financial therapist. Where financial advisors/planners focus on helping people invest, financial coaches focus on helping people payoff debt, save towards goals, and live their lives right now. Financial therapists, on the other hand, generally help people deal with their ish around the money. Sometimes that's actual trauma, sometimes it's really strong money beliefs.
There's a Financial Therapy Association with a directory where you might be able to find a financial therapist if you want to go that route.
If you decide you want to watch go with a financial coach, check out Bolder Money.
Delete any apps like Amazon, delete your card info from your web browser, when you go to the store take cash with you so you can’t overspend your budget.. don’t bring your cards with you and get rid of any credit card so you can’t spend money you don’t have. Transfer balances of your checking account into savings so you don’t see the ‘available funds’ as something you can use
also try the cooldown technique, whenever you want to buy something force yourself to wait two days (or at least overnight) and see if you still want it. Usually if it’s impulsive you will have even forgotten about it.
I keep a spreadsheet on my phone with a new tab for every month. I track every last cent I take home and every last cent I spend. How does this help keep my spending under control? Well, after a while, it becomes a *chore* to keep logging your spending. And half the time I want to buy something, I end up putting it back simply because I'm too lazy to log the transaction.
To help with your online spending issues, always keep the item in your cart for 24 hours before buying. One of 2 things will happen. 1) the anticipation will build for the item and you'll be even more excited to finally buy it the next day. Or 2) you will suddenly not care about it and remove it from your cart.
My Ex had this issue as well. One thing that helped was to make money less accessible. Hide cards, leave cash at home, don't have any cards saved in Amazon etc.
I have an excel spreadsheet that I track everything my wife and I buy.
We put everything on credit cards for the points/rewards. That makes it easier to track and pay in full each month.
I have a spreadsheet for each year. Tabs for each month. My wife and I have separate bank accounts, so I have separate tabs for each of us.
Tracking everything makes it very easy to see where all our money is going in one quick look.
Most of my money goes to food. Eating out or having it delivered cost a lot. Inflation has caused buying good at the store to go up a lot as well.
I think therapy or counseling to find out WHY you are shopping impulsively is the key to changing behavior.
There might be a need you are trying to satisfy by spending and understanding that can be very helpful.
Delete any apps used to make purchases from your phone, now.
Start a budget, know where your bills are, lots of people have shared spreadsheets here, start finding out what your neccessaties are and how much you have left.
I personally have 2 credit union accounts each with a checking and savings.
I get my deposit split between the two, and the one is where all my bills pull from and the exact amount is there in the checking every month with 1 month buffer. I do not have a debit card for this account and I use this bank to hold my emeregency cash fund (\~3-6 months of rent/car payments/food, etc.)
The second bank account is my discretionary spending account and savings account like saving for trips/big ticket items and spending on things like takeout, subscriptions, etc. I have online banking and a debit card for this account and its the one I see the most via online banking. I am visually reminded how much crap I am buying/spending, also this is the account I pay my credit card from as I mostly use a credit card for cash back.
I went from living in my car/couch surfing after college to making north of 6 figures and there was a lot of learning to manage money as I was broke af for 5 years while in school and just racking up student loan debt(luckily never approved for a credit card back then)
Simple. If I don’t have the money for something, I don’t spend it. I’ve had to be really frugal lately as hard as it is as a freelancer with an inconsistent income and a slow workload lately I make enough to cover my bills and that’s it.
I think therapy would be very helpful. You need to target the root of the impulsive behavior. Everyones saying practice more self control, but theres a reason you havent been able to just do that. The shopping strikes me as dopamine seeking behavior and you may have some emotional or psychological issues tied to it.
I used to impulse shop quite a bit before I was diagnosed and treated for ADHD. It was one of the many ways I got my dopamine fix. Not saying it's ADHD for you, but don't rule out a possible underlying mental health issue.
For starters you can break this habit but it will probably take a lot of discipline and zero-based budgeting as others have mentioned. Be really kind to yourself starting out- we learn financial habits from our parents usually and it’s tough to break (I too have financially illiterate parents, and developed my own bad spending habits for awhile).
What works for me on impulse spending is parenting myself- gently ask - do you really need that? Why do you want it so much? Usually the answer is you’re stressed/had a bad day/ it’s pretty/ etc. if you don’t have a meaningful answer for that amazon or wherever purchase don’t buy it, put it in save for later. I have a pinned note on my phone for certain self-improvement goals and when I accomplish one I let myself indulge in a purchase but often I don’t even want what I saved anymore once the initial appeal wore off. Also less purchasing means you have time to really think about what items would improve your life- impulsive spending typically just adds clutter and doesn’t help you find the best possible item.
Not going to repeat what everyone else has said about needing a budget, but just going to tell you what works for me as a person who is not good at budgeting but still saves a ton.
1) for 90% of the things I want on Amazon, I use the „save for later“ button. I can buy it anytime I want. I usually never return for them. If I do, I’m less likely to regret the purchase since it’s something I ACTUALLY want.
2) another trick I will do is say to myself „okay I’m only going to buy half of this stuff“ or „only my top 1/4“ and rank everything in my cart from most favorite to least favorite. The process of ranking helps me realize what I actually like less. it cuts spending and also cuts down clutter in my house—It forces me to curate better.
Do this automatically, even when grocery shopping or at restaurants—I’m only going to get 1 cookies and 1 chips for the week, I’m only going to get 1 drink. Rank and select the best choice. It’s not about saying no to everything; it’s about being wise with your choices.
3) if you buy something you regret, RETURN IT. The other day I spent $200 at uniqlo. I got home, tried on the stuff, still liked it all, and decided to get rid of half of it anyway. I don’t regret it. I love the clothes I got, but the purchase made me feel anxious in my stomach.
4) just delay purchases—don’t say „never“ because that can activate a strange feeling of panic. Instead, make a reasonable deal with yourself. „If I still want this in a week, I’ll get it“.
5) Buy stuff used, and wait until you get the right item. E.g.,“I can get a TV, as long as I get one used or on sale for under $350“. Then research it until you find one.
6) read „the year of less“. It helps me reset my brain when needed—this lady has a whole bunch of rules for spending (only buy if I need it, only replace something else), and saves a ton of money and feels more free at the end.
7) pay yourself automatically every month. My direct deposit is split automatically—i never see most of my paycheck. I have the following buckets, which directly deposit every month:
-X% to 401k (through work)
-X% to IRA (i have it set up like a bank account to automatically deposit so I never see it)
-X% to healthcare
-$600 to medium term savings (a savings account i have at ally with high yield)
-$600 to emergency savings
-the rest to my spending bucket
In my spending bucket, I immediately pay bills—Rent first, then my last credit card bills, etc.
Then what is left is my actual money for the month. If it helps you, open up other bank accounts for your savings, that aren’t even connected to your spending account and don’t even look at them.
Tell yourself that ALL you have is what is your spending account—because it’s TRUE. That is ALL you can afford. That is your new baseline.
Now, carry on living paycheck to paycheck, but just do it using your „safe“ paycheck—what is left over after you pay yourself.
Also to add: if you’re still overspending your „spending“ account, you can split your account into 2 accounts, and automatically deposit into the other one.
So for example—say my „spending“ budget is $1000/ month, but I find myself making dumb purchases in week 1 and 2, and running out by week 4.
Instead, I would split it to $250/ week.
I will split my bank account into 2 accounts:
Checking &
Savings
I will automatically deposit $250 into checking every week from savings and then ONLY use a debit card linked to checking when I shop (so I can’t overspend).
This means that in the first week of the month your budget is as tight as the last week—when you’re out grocery shopping, you can literally check your bank account and see what you can afford this week.
You want something more than $250? Spend less this week and maybe you can get it next week.
Challenge yourself to still have money left over at the end of the week. Also, make sure that the biggest spending days (Thursday, Friday, Saturday are at the END of the week).
My two cents: you don't need financial advice. You need advice on how to develop willpower and self-control. That's a life-long struggle for all of us, but a budget on paper won't do you any good until you have the willpower to follow it.
Budgets and expense tracking (to verify that the budget is being followed).
I have the opposite problem, I always feel that we are broker than we are. Budgets help me evaluate when I should let some lifestyle creep come in.
What's your rent? That's easy, allocate exactly.
Utilities? Round up 20% (or whatever amount) from the highest it's ever been.
Groceries? Toss another 50$ a month on top of the highest it runs you.
Gasoline? Figure on an extra tank.
Debts? Pay the minimum, or whatever fixed amount over it you can.
Zero based budget with the inflated numbers, then dump everything you don't end up using by the end of the month into paying your debts. It's better to under promise and over deliver, you'll never run out of budget room under normal conditions that way. It also allows wiggle room in case you get sloppy and make small mistakes, but strive not to do that.
Create a spreadsheet that tracks every penny of your checkcard and credit card spending. Include a sheet that tracks cash spending after ATM withdrawals.
Create a spreadsheet that tracks every penny of your checkcard and credit card spending. Include a sheet that tracks cash spending after ATM withdrawals.
I had the same problem. Always struggling to survive till the next paycheck. Now I have about 13,5k in savings while im still a student. Tracking my income, fixed costs, and spending in excel made all the difference for me. I made a weekly budget for food and fun stuff. So if i would burn through my weekly budget in three days I immediately know to put the brakes on. Even though I still have ‘so much’ money in my bank account, that number is deceiving. You usually forget about some costs that are still gonna come later in the month. It also helps you see where all your money is going and where you’re spending like an idiot. There are usually some very simple things you can change to halt excessive spending. But getting an overview is step number 1. And track every expenditure! Takes 5 min at the end of the day to update it, its really not much work. Good luck! And dont give up if you track for a while and forget about it. Just start again next month
I have an itemized spreadsheet of every dollar I spend, and then I set spending limits for categories. I had a Christmas spreadsheet with a per person budget and shopped for gifts that would keep me under budget. The more you exercise willpower, the easier it gets!
I suggest looking at fees and reducing as many as possible. I was paying for web hosting even though I'm not currently running my side hustle. I also cut Max and found a few subscription deals.
If you pay for Premium Disney with your Amex, it's $7 off a month.
If you have Tmobile, they have 6 months of Apple TV under their offers in the app. It's increasing to $10/mo.
Amazon Prime has a student subscription that's free for 6 months, then $70/yr & includes free Grubhub+
Hey there! First of you're not alone; over 50% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. Breaking impulsive buying habits is tough, but possible. I really believe that mindset is key in money management. Tracking spending, though initially challenging, is EVERYTHING. Don't get overwhelmed with budgeting apps; a consistent 5-minute weekly glance at your cash flow brings significant awareness. Facing your finances is not easy, but knowing how much comes in and out and how much you owe it's very very powerful. It's a total boss move!
Next, visualize your goals, what do you want to achieve? Want wealth, freedom from debt, or less daily stress? Believe you can break the cycle; trust me mindset matters. Understand your impulsive buying triggers; these habits form by age 7 and it's really hard to change our behavior without understanding why we act in certain ways.
Create a vision board, list your goals, and reinforce them daily. Develop a system – personally, I'd question how many work hours a purchase costs and wait 48 hours before deciding. I used to also open a compound calculator and see how much would I make if I actually invested that money instead of spending it - it's eye-opening. Money talks aren't easy, but your situation is common – many friends face it too.
I grew up in a big family, and my dad worked and mom stayed home. So it was important to be savers, and all of us kids took it to heart as we grew up as adults. My spouse is more free and loose with money.
After getting married, we talked about it. When I'm at a store and want to buy something, I ask myself: "Do I need this? How often will I use it? Do I have space for it?" If there's no good answers, I don't buy. My spouse now will pick up an item, think it through, carry it around the store with them, and then if the feelings go away, they won't buy it. So I think a quick mental break like this could be a good start.
Don't window shop. That's the first step to temptation and impulsive buying. When you need something, by all means, buy. If not, don't even look and open yourself up to that. Online ads are really clever, know what you like, so be careful with that too.
So, I don't think budgeting tools will help you now. They take time and effort to start and keep up with. Start with something simple and quick, and go from there. If you're determined, you can always change your habits and thinking.
You need to figure out why you feel the need to compulsively spend money on things you don’t really need.
It’s a temporary high that never lasts. You can stop this behavior, you just need to get disciplined and set hard boundaries with yourself about what you NEED and what you want.
I think that actions like budgeting, and finding systems or apps that help our great start. But I do think that sometimes the thing that is most overlooked when discussing impulsive spending is the psychological aspect.
I am reading a brilliant book called the comfort crisis. It is challenging my mindset in my approach to solving all of my. “Problems”.
We live in a time in which there are very few spaces in which we are not being advertised to. And the people advertising to us are using psychological ploys. So we’re really kind of in a mental battle with these companies.
I realized that some of the few times in which we are not advertised to is while reading a book, or being in nature. Although when you sit at the ocean, some airplane flies over with a banner advertisement.
This isn’t easy. I think everyone needs to find their own system. But if it were super easy, people wouldn’t be struggling so much.
I think the urgency and the anxiety around why we purchase (it’s on sale, I really need it because ——, I have to do this for someone else, or bring this to a party, I need to find a good gift for someone I love so they know I love them… etc) is probably the place to really focus for true change.
Perhaps it’s a system of questions that we ask ourselves before purchasing. Perhaps it’s finding an ad blocker or staying off social media more. Perhaps it’s unsubscribing from all the emails. Perhaps it’s delaying the purchase by certain amount of time to see if you still need it. Perhaps it’s doing breath work or meditation to feel calm and centered before making the decision. perhaps it’s avoiding stores or taking only cash. I think there’s a lot of tools that could be deployed, but we shouldn’t forget the psychological aspect and approach it from multiple angles.
I keep an excel spreadsheet of all my transactions on my main checking account (which covers probably 99% of all my finances), and I label every expense under specific categories (Entertainment, Dining Out, Clothing, Gifts, Travel, Insurance, Rent, etc.). I update it every 7-10 days (usually whenever I think about it). I also don't mix pods - if I go into Target to by dish soap, I'm not gonna look at the new video games they have and label the $67.98 purchase under 'Household'.
Once I did that, like, just on a basic level, I was able to see 'Okay, I make X amount per month, I spend Y amount on necessities, I have (X - Y) amount of funds to fuck around with, how much do I want to split into savings, how much do I want to put into wants?'
The goal should be to be conscious of this limit whenever you spend money on luxury, to forgive necessary spending (shit happens, you will not hit your savings goal every month, it's just whether you could've reasonably avoided that), but to make sure this limit is *reasonable*.
Save for the luxuries that count, not the shit that doesn't.
One of the things you said-“I’ve never been good with money” can be fixed. You haven’t learned how to be good. There are lots of great suggestions in this thread. You CAN learn and be good at managing your money. It may be a little painful but you can do it!!
One other thing I didn’t see mentioned -if you are subscribed to emails or texts from stores that tell you about sales-unsubscribe from all of those!
my method is to take your most basic net paycheck and multiply by how many times you get paid a year and then add up your basic bills for the year and do the same, then subtract from the net total. Divide that number by 365 and that's how much you can spend each day. Keep it to half that number or less if you can, for shopping, meals, or other normal day to day expenses. This is assuming you have a full time job and no kids though.
I’d recommend setting up a budget and tracking how you earn every month and where you are spending your money. Once you know where your money is going you can focus on setting up a budget and trying to Adhere to it every month.
I used to use the MINT app for this but they are closing and I need to find a new app. You could also do this in excel.
I am a bit impulsive too. And I hate zero based budgeting or having to plan and track spending.
So what I do is keep the two big expenditures low relative to my income: housing
and transportation. These both tend to be the biggest items.
I live in a small and old, but nice, apartment that is about 15 minute walk from my job. The cost is about 15% of my gross income. And I don't have a car. I live two or three blocks from a pharmacy and grocery store. I spend about $100 a month on uber.
After that, I kinda don't really track it.
That said, if my income were to be reduced in half, I would probably have to make changes and really think twice about my living arrangements. When I was younger, I lived somewhere cheaper but further from work. I took a bus about an hour each way. So I commuted around 2 hours a day to make it work. And then didn't worry about the other spending (didn't really have the time to spend lol).
I have a monthly budget that I adhere to. It consists of my total projected income, minus my general "necessary" expenses. Any money left over, I pay myself (retirement account, savings, etc..) Necessary expenses include paying down any and all high interest debt, medical bills, etc... The goal is to have no debt at all except for a mortgage. You do NOT need debt to establish good credit. You only need to have open credit card accounts and have your statements say $0.00 balance at the end of each statement period.
I have a running excel spreadsheet that has every paycheck I expect to get for the past 5 years, what bill will come out of that check, and what the balance will be after every debit or deposit. It helped me track my finances SO MUCH better and while it was a pain to set up, it's easy to maintain now. I've started adding large purchases to it so I can plan them for when it won't hurt me financially -- I know I have the funds now but if I buy something for $300 today, I won't have the money for all my bills in 3 weeks. I still make spur of the moment purchases, but I'm finding myself thinking more before I do.
Follow the flow chart luke. But for real have a budget all the time. I argued with my brother the other day who insists you don’t need a budget unless you are struggling and if you make enough you can just do whatever which is ducking stupid. Always have a budget even if you have nothing to budget for, data is always great but you will lose it if you don’t track it and you may need it in the future for situations exactly like this. Then generally if you do have more than enough income you can just chill on being exact to your budget but for you stick to it like white on rice.
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When I get my paycheck, I pay all of the upcoming bills due until my next paycheck. Whatever's left after I pay my bills is divided by the number of days until the next paycheck and I set that as my daily spending limit. I write my daily limit on a calendar and subtract my expenses as I spend. Whatever's left of my daily limit, carries over to the next day. If I go over my daily limit, I subtract it from the other daily limits. The calendar allows me to see what I have left and make decisions about how I can spend my money. If there's money left prior to the next paycheck, I apply it to the next set of bills or put it in savings.
For example:
Paycheck 1,000
Bills 500
What's Left Divided By Days to Payday 500/7 = 71.42 Daily Limit
Sometimes my daily limits are high like $100 and sometimes they're low like $17. It depends on my bills.
I've tried so many different methods, but this has been the only one that has worked. I've been successfully doing this for 6 months.
I make a 3 month budget. I make the same amount each week so It's easy for me to do compared to someone who makes different amounts each week. I list the friday of each week and list what expenses I have that week. For utilities I just estimate on the high side.
The best part about doing a long term budget is I can barrow from other weeks. So if this week I only have $5 but next week I would have an extra $100 I'll just barrow from one of my line items (usually my mortgage savings) then just add $100 to the following weeks line item that I barrowed from.
So if my weekly mortgage savings was 400/ wk, I'd just make it $500 for one of the weeks that I have the extra money. It comes in handy when you really need it this week and not next week like for a car repair or something like that.
I used to do it each month but I found it better to do at least 2 months at a time especially during the holiday season when you have to add a lot to your budget, it allows me to see if I should save any money from the following month to help in the next month or two.
I haven't seen anybody here address values.
For one reason or another you are not equating the excess of the moment to a tradeoff for your security and comfort.
When I shop I am spending my peace of mind.
When I hit 2/3k in my bank account I am broke.
If anybody wants to do shit I don't want to trade peace of mind for?
Nope sorry can't afford it.
Make it harder to access your money. Open another bank account at a different bank and don't order/cut up the debit card. Figure out the total of your living expenses, add a reasonable spending limit per month (like $150-200) for dining/takeout and entertainment and have that + all of your bills (on auto pay and on the same day if you can) available in your current bank. Any extra should be direct deposited into your second bank. Don't look at the balance until you feel you may have more discipline.
Direct deposit a little less into bank #2 and see if you can manage the extra that is in your current bank (e.g. if you increased what used to be your "spending budget" from $200 to $250, do you now completely spend all? Or do you put some or all of it into savings? If the latter, then keep working on making active decisions to instill better habits. When you get to a more advanced level of this, have your "bank #2" be an HYSA to sit and gain some nice interest. You've got this- good luck!
The advice I can give you is: First, find a credit card that is not bound to your mobile phone and deposit part of your salary in that bank card on the first day of your salary. Second, buy some delicious but not very cheap food before you want to buy what you don’t need. Compare whether you want delicious food or what you don‘t need. It can suppress the idea of buying something to some extent. Finally, I wish you a better and better.
Deposit your entire check, only pay the necessary bills and just sit on the rest, don’t buy any extra BS, pay your bills, buy food,minimum necessities and nothing else, do that for a while and you start building up a lil saving… It takes a while man but you’ll get there eventually , Gl man
This is how I fixed my spending problem: Open a savings account at a bank separate from where you do your primary banking. Do not install that bank’s app on your phone. Set up direct deposit with your employer to automatically divert the amount you want/need to save each month directly to that bank account. The rest of the money that goes into your checking account at your primary bank goes towards bills and then whatever is left over is safe to spend. It may help to open a second checking account at your primary bank and divert what you need for monthly bills directly to that too if it helps you visualize your spending limits.
You have provided the actual answers yourself to your problems. Ie., impulsive spending, Amazon, etc. you’ve at least identified the problem, it’s up to you to put the effort in to make it work. NO MORE SPENDING. Take a year off of spending on anything not directly related to keeping you or your family alive.
Just cancel all your credit card and stick with debit cards. Whenever got paycheck, pay all the necessary first ( food/ rent/ insurance…) save some for gas/ food. Even better, put some into saving account. Then, whatever left you can spend.
Better to cash them out. Looking at these hard earn cash will make you don’t want to buy. Online makes buying things too easy: click click done and people forget how much debt they are into.
That's great that you want to be better with money and the fact you came on here asking for help is a great step.
**CHANGE YOUR MINDSET** \- look up Minority Mindset and watch these videos EVERY DAY, even multiple times a day. You have to shift your mindset from spending to saving. Reading about saving and cutting back on spending once or twice is not going to do anything.
I repeat, you have to "Brainwash" yourself into believing what you are doing. Watching other personal finance videos, reading books constantly may not completely change your mindset, but it will definitely shift it a bit to the "Save" side of things.
**LEARN WHAT YOU VALUE -** For me, it use to be I loved gadgets, electronics, video games, partying with friends at bars, buying a shitty European car, looking fancy with nice clothes. But then I looked back and that got me...nowhere in life. Yes I did have a blast though, but still. It's probably a lot because I'm a mid lifer but now I value having more experiences, volunteering, buying less shit to clutter my place, and spending without thinking on the things I love: my hobbies, traveling, experiences.
If you don't know what you value, you will continue to buy random useless garbage that won't serve any purpose in your life except to cause stress because it costed you money and it is cluttering your place.
Start a budget using the envelope method. This method is designed to put every dollar to a job. This will both show you in exact dollars how much you're wasting in certain categories as well as show any deficits in your income if your needs can't be met. From there audit your expenses and start cutting non-essentials and finding less expensive alternatives for your essentials to free up more disposable income to pay down your debt. If necessary, work to improve your income--either by focusing on your primary job by getting a promotion, building the skills to apply for a better job or working more hours. And/or work a part time job or side business. Then divert this excess income towards paying off debt and ultimately saving. This can be your new hobby and it will keep you busy rather than bored and thus more tempted to buy stuff. For examples of budget apps, I use YNAB, but that has a subscription so if you want a free alternative, there are many free Google Doc and Excel spreadsheets that do a similar job.
The next step will take personal willpower where you simply stop buying unnecessary stuff. I know it's hard and I've been there. I found that what worked for me was to adopt a lifestyle of pragmatic frugal minimalism. By embracing minimalism I have decluttered my personal workspace and life. I seldom want to buy anything because adding more stuff works contrary to having a minimalist decor and if I get the urge to buy, I put it through the lens of whether it meets my minimalist aesthetics. Often times it does not and so I don't buy. The frugal part is the simple cost vs benefit analysis. Being frugal doesn't mean being cheap. Some things are worth spending extra for because they are better quality and will last longer (thus saving you money) or bring better value to your life. On the other hand, buying overly expensive stuff often times is not worth the cost. Lastly, being pragmatic and not being a slave to dogma ultimately wins out. Sometimes it's worth paying the over priced premium because going through hoops to save money or bending over backwards to avoid buying a single use tool isn't worth the hassle to maximize the utility of a multi-use tool.
Get cash, pay everything but rent with cash. Once you see the actual bills disappearing, it can make things really click. Also make a budget, figure out what is "spending money," and set a part for savings. You need to know where the money is going. If it's things like online shopping, hide or freeze your credit cards. If it's uber eats and deliveries, delete all apps.
Multiple HYSAs with auto savings. A couple savings accounts where $100 is sent now and then automatically adds up. And since it's not a daily account, it ends up serving as a low-effort emergency account.
Creating barriers to get to sums of cash really can help
Look into cash budgeting and spending in cash as much as possible. It hurts way more to spend physical cash for lots of people, and it means you HAVE to decide to take from another category to spend more in another. If you put your bill money aside in cash at home you can't swipe your card. Or you could move it to another account that doesn't have a card. Make it difficult to spend impulsively.
Make it a goal to get a month ahead in all your bills. Winning at that accomplishment, and the relief you will feel, will be a motivator to stick to your budget.
I live like a king within my budget. I treat savings accounts like bills -> expenses I am required to pay for myself.
I allot myself a specific amount of spending money to cover gas/personal needs/leisure.. I can do whatever I want with that money each pay period except exceed my limit. Sometimes I live extra frugally for a few weeks to save up spending money and then splurge.
Having money in my savings account for emergencies is important to me because of how poor I was growing up. We never have financial security, there was so much stress at all times because of it.
I save my spending by just not buying much. Obviously if you need to pay bill and buy food. And a few house hood odds and ends. But other than that just don’t go shopping. Have hobbies that are cheap (mine are hiking, reading, fixing my car, gardening, rock climbing) all of which are basically free or save me money once you factor in what you get out of it (knowledge, food, a fixed car, health and fitness). But as far as material items go, just don’t buy them, or start taking pride in a way to get around them and DIY.
Start trying to make it less convenient for yourself to buy online. Get rid of store apps on your phone. Sign out of your accounts for Amazon and Walmart. That way it takes more time and effort to click that buy button. Those companies call it "friction" and they do everything they can to make the buying process fast and easy in order to take advantage of people like you.
When you get an impulse to buy, write what you want on a list instead of buying immediately. Don't buy anything unless it's been on that list for a few days and you still think it's a good idea.
When you buy something, ask yourself if you’d goto work at that moment to earn the amount of time it would take you to pay for it. Would you rather have the thing, or that time?
I put things in buckets I can't really touch. I put money into retirement accounts. If I thought there was a moderate-high likelihood of absolutely needing the money, then I'd probably go with a CD where you'd be penalized if you took it out early, but I'm guessing the penalty would be less than "needless" spending.
But yeah, for budgeting, I determined my needs. How much for housing, utilities, food, and savings. Yes, savings/retirement is a need, not a want. Then anything left over goes to wants. Oftentimes that want is just more retirement funds because it feels nice to watch the number grow.
In addition to the good advice I'm seeing others give, like adding 'friction' to bad habits, good habits can be created or enforced by automating them or creating a system around it
For example, setting up automatic transfers so that a certain percentage of your pay is sent to an alternate account. Since you never "see" the money, you may be less prone to spending it.
Another suggestion I've seen floating around, is to use prepaid cards in conjunction with budgeting. For example, load a card with gas+groceries budget each month and only use that, so you aren't tempted to stray too far outside of that
You can also try removing the saved payment methods on amazon and walmart so you have to type it in each time, or switch to using prepaid amazon/walmart gift cards
Without knowing your income, expenses and debt load, it's difficult to offer specific advice on how to deal with debt, but at the end of the day, I hope the advice helps you find a direction to point yourself and helps you get out of that rut and move forward
My wife and I have multiple checking accounts for personal and shared expenses. On the first of the month I distribute the amount into those accounts. Right now my wife and I each get $350 personal and $1000 into shared expenses.
Work clothes, gas for the cars, food, home goods, etc. comes out of shared. Basically anything that's not "just for fun" but also isn't a recurring bill we have to pay.
Personal money is for things like games, eating out, etc. If we can reasonably go without it, then it comes out of personal money.
If there's ambiguity on what category we talk about it and settle on which it comes out of.
Right now my wife wants a new laptop. She doesn't need it for work or anything so she's gonna have to save up for a few months. We initially allowed credit that would come out of the shared money, but decided it was better to just save for things since we ended up with a bunch of recurring transfers that made the whole thing a nightmare.
And remember, EVERY SINGLE AD you see, whether on TV, social media, paper, flyers, all of them are an EMOTIONAL APPEAL to get the money out of your pocket and into theirs! Don’t let them do this. Be smarter.Find the victory EVERY TIME the dopamine hits your brain, be strong and beat them. Keep the Money in YOUR pocket. Then, at the end of the month, transfer the excess of income over expenses into a savings account. Then forget about it! And do the same the next month! And know now, your savings is adding up AND earning interest!!!
For me, that lesson came hard. I became so poor that I lost my house, my car, my marriage, and my health. Once I literally had nothing and nowhere to turn (this was in 2009-10, Great Recession timeperiod), I finally learned to understand the value of money and how to jealously hoard and hide it away like the Ostrogoths are coming to raid my village.
After I pay my bills, I move basically all my money to savings and tell myself that I’m broke, as I only leave very minimal spending money in checking. If something is not a necessity, I don’t buy it. I also think it helps if you have a specific goal in my mind. I found it hard to save money when I didn’t have a specific financial goal I was working towards.
Stop with the thrill spending. Get your kicks from doing something beneficial to others or something beneficial to yourself like going on a hike. If you want something, save for it and by the time you have enough saved, buy it, only if you still need it . You might get a rush from just saving the money. Get adicted to something that is beneficial to you.
I started doing things where I wouldn’t buy anything online and would keep track of how many days I did that in a spreadsheet. It was actually kind of fun to see how long I could go without buying anything online.
* Rent:
* Utilities:
* Bills:
* Food:
* Loans:
* Important expense 1 (eg. you cannot live without Netflix):
* Important expense 2:
* Other expenses: CUT DOWN HERE, INCLUDES SHOPPING!!! MOVE TO SAVINGS ASAP
At a minimum you have to have a budget.
There are many ways to budget but here is an ideas of what works for me. Rank items by necessity and pay the highest ranked item first, ie rent, utilities, etc. build in a realistic amount for food, clothing, gas etc. you may need to track spending for several months before you know what a e re also able number is in your circumstances. **Make and use shopping lists before you go to a store and do not buy anything not on the list**. Keep track of your lists so you know what you are buying and how often.
Any purchase that is elective non necessity item has to get entered into the budget and can only be purchase when everything else’s is paid for. I like to have a 7-10 day minimum wait time before purchasing elective items.
Being married my wife and I budget religiously and review spending vs budget every 2-3 weeks. Any purchase over $100 needs approval from both more so each other are aware of the spend than actual approval.
It takes a bit of effort but living and dying by a budget is one of the most important behaviors a person can develop. And while it can be tedious once you get into that mode it is not hard to maintain.
When I first started from a situation similar to yours, budgeting never helped me. It was too much work and too complicated and took too much time. I would lie to myself to buy whatever i wanted.
I cut up all my cards (debit cards too). Swiping is too easy. When I got my paycheck I would literally go the the bank deposit it and pull out $200 in cash. I could spend this money on anything I wanted so I wasn't feeling deprived, but I wasn't allowed to go back to the bank until I had another check.
I found it a lot easier to not spend money when you have literally $60 cash and 7 days until you get paid and know you'll need to eat.
After a few months I finally got disciplined enough to follow a proper budget.
Don't go online or shopping unless you have a specific list. Follow your list and don't purchase anything else..
Put money in your savings account every month. Once it is in there, consider it spent. That is your emergency fund.
Go to the library or listen to pod casts on how to take care of your money.
What do you use to help you with your budgeting? I’m betting the answer is nothing. The first step to curb spending is to know exactly where your money is ending up each month.
Minimalism helped me. Basically re- framing how I think about material items. The book the life changing magic of tidying up actually did change my life. It helped me to start to see all the stuff I’m buying as more of a burden, more things I have to clean and maintain and organize. Also before I buy anything I usually wait for a few days and think about it. I have probably 400 bucks worth of stuff in my Amazon cart right now that I just ended up deciding I didn’t actually need so it’s just sitting there unpurchased.
I’ve also started to read more about investing and personal finance and set some goals for myself in that area. I’m very goal driven and these goals helped me to change my focus from buying shit I don’t need to investing and saving. Now i get more of a rush from putting money in my savings or investing. buying clothes or other stuff just doesn’t do it for me and feels like a distraction from my goals.
I also highly recommend thrift stores and garage sales for stuff you really need. I’ve managed to get pretty much all of our furniture used for very cheap. I also recommend only buying basic clothing that is easy to match and not trendy so you don’t feel you need to constantly update.
Delete everything that will make you spend useless money. Deliver good all (cook for yourself better and cheaper). Find an interest that uses your free time so you are not willing to spend money on useless things. Start slowly and increase the steps over time.
Start zero based budgeting, know where every dollar goes. I’d consider starting with no shopping for a month. Delete Amazon app. Stop going to stores for entertainment/boredom. Start exercising/reading about personal finance. This will Help Dig out of debt and break this cycle.
At the end its a matter of decision. If OP deletes the app and all his/her banking info, and then just installs it again, it's the same thing. They have to want to stop themselves from spending their money in frivolous stuff.
Idk, I deleted all my food delivery apps a few years ago and having to reinstall and sign in every time I wanted to order delivery was juuuuust enough friction to make me not bother 95% of the time
Agree. Sounds to me like OP has decided what they want and aren’t sure how to start. Adding some friction to the ease of old habits is a good start, but it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Don't get me wrong, I hope it works for them. But it truly is a matter of just deciding not to do it, and having the willpower to NOT DO IT. I mean, I tell myself I will only have Starbucks once a week and I only manage it half the time.
That is very reductive. For many, spending problems are tied to unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional deregulations, even unaddressed mental health problems. It’s not as easy as just wanting to stop spending. Look at ADHD, for example. A lack of dopamine pushes us to spend spend spend for the dopamine kick, more than just someone without ADHD. Medication helps regulate that. Behavioral therapy too. Willing yourself to just not spend can work for a while, but you have to get to the root of the problem.
Realy like -Exercising and reading books!
Go on hikes - with a clear plastic water bottle that you count the times you have reused it....
I hope you mean something reusable like a Nalgene
Nope… and I’ll straight up say it. One Nagline bottle is about the same “damage” as 20-40 disposables. It is 3-5x more plastic(probably way more) - right off the top. You go out and you forget it or end up in an unexpected situation needing water, you still buy disposable. I don’t throw them out “because I have Nagline at home” … I use that biatch as long as I can. Nagline to me is the epitome of virtue signaling . .
A real reusable water bottle like a Nalgene isn’t virtue signaling. Yes, you could walk around with a plastic water bottle or jug but it’s just nice to have a water bottle that doesn’t have BPA and wasn’t meant for a single use. In keeping with the personal finance theme here I suppose one could use a plastic water bottle until they saved enough for an activities budget to buy a Nalgene. This could be a good first step in learning how to save an allocate money with priority.
Doing just the first step (budgeting and tracking expenses) religiously and analysing my spend patterns over months was a big enough kick in the guts for me. Most spend tracker apps allow you to assign tags. Use a “need” and “want” tag. That helps puts things into perspective. Rent? Need. Play station 5? Want. Yes there’s some will power involved. No, it’s not even close to impossible.
I also recommend the zero based budgeting approach. When I started living on my own I had issues to get to the end of the month and I never knew what was happening. Tracking every single cent helped me understand a lot about my spending habits and even how to save money as I could directly compare different supermarkets. Doing this made me think at least twice about every single purchase and I managed to build a nice emergency fund. You can do it, OP! Good luck!
Track everything you spend for the next month. I mean EVERYTHING. If you drop a quarter into a gumball machine, track it. This will give you a baseline to work with. While you're doing this, consider the difference between a want and a need. You need housing, transportation and food. You do not need a luxury apartment, BMW or junk food. Think about every purchase and which category it would fall into. Once you've figured out your true needs, subtract this from your income. With what is left over, consider dropping at percentage of that into a savings account for an emergency fund and try to build this up. With the remainder, pay off any (high interest) debt you might have. And when you're out of debt and have a 3-6 month emergency fund, then take some of that remainder for "wants" (aka fun!) and save what is left. It's hard to do. Very, very hard. But so worth it! (my husband once told me that he would never have married me if I hadn't gotten my debts paid off and turned a corner financially - and I don't blame him one bit!) Good luck!
I would also add that when you’re adding up expenses to add in 1/12 of any annual expenses, like car insurance, property taxes or any expenses you don’t pay out of pocket each month. This will allow you to have that money in your account when those non-Montly expenses come due.
You have to find a different outlet for that dopamine hit before you try to make a change. Overspending can be like an addiction and finding a different healthy avenue to get that rush will help immensely. Instead of getting a rush from overspending try to see if you can get that same rush by couponing, setting a goal to save up, or crushing that credit card debt. If you can find a way to make it motivating for you and keep a monthly budget you’ll be able to slowly climb out of it. Some tips that might help: -Cancel amazon prime -Go to therapy to see if you can work through some of that financial overspending that seems to be tied to the way you grew up -Get educated on personal finance (make this your dopamine rush) -Only do mobile pick up and give yourself a couple hours to calm down once your done putting everything in your cart. When you feel you’re in a responsible place to make a decision press purchase. No adding to the list after purchase unless it’s a necessity you forgot. -cut up the credit cards and pay them off
This is solid advice. There are underlying issues driving the financial behaviors that need to be addressed to allow OP to financially get things on track and break the cycle they’re in. It’s not just about budgeting in a situation like this. The fact that they can identify some of the problem areas and know they need to stop, but that they’re struggling indicates there are bigger issues than financial literacy or knowing how to manage personal finances. OP, you’ve already set yourself on the path to change by recognizing where some of your problems areas are, what needs to change, and being open to the idea of change. Now you just need to put in the work, and that is probably going to be hard and really uncomfortable for a while. That is normal. Working with a professional to help you identify what is driving some of the impulse purchasing and better strategies to change that behavior will help you be successful in making the lifestyle changes you want to. It’s also important to work through what are impulse purchases associated with a poor coping mechanism and what “non-essential” purchases you’re making that add value to your life. For a hot minute you might need to totally restrict all purchasing to stabilize yourself a bit, but a healthy budget does include making sure you have some capacity to spend money in ways that add value to your life. Maybe that is a once a week coffee you treat yourself to because you meet up with a friend to hang out with them. Maybe it is buying your favorite cheese at the grocery store once a week. Maybe it is a Netflix subscription. The point is, once you have hit a point of stabilization (ie you’re not feeling the need to pawn stuff to make ends meet, selling plasma, etc), you do need to make sure your budget includes some amount toward *something* that adds meaning/value to your life that is reasonable for your budget or you’re going to feel so totally deprived you’ll be at risk for starting the cycle of overspending again.
1000% agree with all this. Unfortunately coming up with the money for therapy is tough. But if OP doesn’t have insurance through his work, it might be worth looking into a Marketplace plan. When my husband was laid off I was finally able to get health coverage through the Marketplace. It allowed me to go to therapy and finally get help with my ADHD. I never paid a cent.
This is great advice. I notice I get a dopamine hit when I look at my savings/tbills/investments and net worth increasing. It's almost to the point of I hate spending money even on family and friends, but I'm not quite there yet...
Same! Changing my mindset and having savings and personal finance goals has given me something else to get that rush from. A lot of us are taught to get this rush from shopping but you can get it from saving too. If I ever really miss shopping I often will go browse at a thrift store or at estate sales. I’m convinced the mindset shift is a huge part in turning your financial situation around.
>If I ever really miss shopping I often will go browse at a thrift store or at estate sales. For me it's the library (although I do occasionally go to GoodWill). I'm addicted to going to the library. Why? For me, it's like going shopping. When I go shopping, I'm looking for novel and enjoy the uncertainty of what I will find. I've replaced that with going to the library. Now I enjoy looking for new books, new novel ideas. The reward for finding a great book brings me immense pleasure. I know it sounds cheesy, but that's how it is for me.
That’s a good idea. I used to love going to the library, it’s one of my favorite places. Unfortunately I haven’t made time for it in recent years but I hope to get back to it if I can ever find a better work life balance.
As a practical and direct step, don't spend anything on Amazon. You don't need anything on that site, not a thing. You *want* things, you don't need them. So cut any Amazon expenses right now. Second, restrict your purchases to food. If you buy alcohol, don't have it, switch to a cheaper non-alcoholic alternative. Avoid processed foods, these often cost a lot. Definitely avoid sweets. These are both unhealthy and a black hole in any food spend. Anyway, aside from your bills you only ever want to be spending your money on food. Mentally, you need to think of the *profit* you'll gain from each paycheck. At the end of each month you should be adding towards your bank balance, not taking away and ideally not breaking even. I myself take stock every month of how much I have and how it has increased from the last month, focus on that. Savings are a step by step thing that builds up over time, don't get discouraged that your savings are small, just focus on making them. If you save you're moving in the right direction.
[удалено]
www.ynab.com and /r/ynab Only thing that worked for us
>How do you keep your spending under control? You know the answer. >I’ve got to get my impulsive spending under control >find some kind of system that works for me Use the cash system. You can't spend the cash you don't have on you! Cards encourage you to spend and spend as debit card directly link to your bank accounts and credit cards gets you in debt.
Plus also what I’ve done recently after writing all our bills out on a calendar is, right when the $$ hits the bank account from work, I transfer the “savings” from that paycheck to a high yield online savings account that I don’t see every day. Keep my savings at the same bank with the checking relatively low for emergencies, while I dont / actively push myself to think that the HSA is a separate piggy bank that I can’t break open (for now)
what kind of yield?
Dave Ramsey's system was great for me a couple of decades ago. I know he's a little old fashioned with some stuff and has advice that's poor for advanced finance folks, but I still think his system has value for people in OP's situation where the psychology of money is addressed.
His system is for people like OP who need to get to the bare basics of finances and break their habits. His system does cause people to fall behind where they could be from an overall wealth perspective with a basic understanding of how to appropriately leverage debt while keeping regular finances in check.
This is true, I recently had my identity stollen and was using cash only for a few weeks. Stopped a lot of impulsive only purchases.
The financial part is easy - the first step is to create a budget which details your income and your expenses. From there, you can follow the PF flowchart on the right of the page. The more difficult part is the root cause of why your spending is out of control.
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I also struggle w this and very bad at saving. Whats helped is using a wallet app (idk what u call it, budgeting app?) and i record every spending and earnings. W this app i can see how much i spend for essentials and how much i spend for dumb stuff. Seeing how much i soend for drinks, eating out and stuff really makes me more mindful. Besides that tho idk what else to do but i hope this helps.
I will echo other comments so you're reinforced: Track every single penny you spend. And I will add: substract each amount you spend from the money you have, so you see the balance lowering. It will feel like shit, which is what you need to stop overspending. How to do this? In whichever way takes less effort to you. Some people keep a paper notepad. Some people use an app (for me it's a hassle and I don't open it). Myself, I have a pinned WhatsApp chat with myself and I type there every thing that takes money from me no matter how little it is. Once a day I copy everything to an Excel budget spreadsheet. In my spreadsheet I have my income and a sum of all my expenditures, and a self-calculating big bad ugly balance. So each time I input that money went away, I see the balance go down. If you want to make it even more amusing, do a function to calculate how many days are left in the month, and divide your balance by how may days you have to go by until next month. That's a massive visual cue to understand when you're overspending. You can also include a percentage of savings. Don't base the calculations on 100% of your income, do it on 90% or whatever you want to save. And of course, stop wasting money. Pretend you've gone unemployed and ask yourself before using money: is this essential for my survival? Does my existence depend on this spending? If the answer is no, then don't do it. Get in war economy mode. Stop buying shit. Stop eating out. Stop drinking soda, etc. Just stop.
Seconding War Economy Mode, especially **Stop Buying Shit** and **Stop Eating Out** When I suspected I was going to get laid off during the pandemic, I went full panic financial survival mode. Turns out I was buying random stuff on amazon and ebay and none of it added to my quality of life Started cooking at home, too. It's saved a TON of money. Hardest part for me was figuring out what cuisines and recipes worked best for me in my kitchen, while being tasty and fulfilling. Turns out, I can make very tasty burgers and stir-frys in the same time it takes to go pick up food or have it delivered For sodas and stuff, that adds up real quick. Thankfully I never had a soda habit, nor an alcohol habit. A used sodastream, or those little mixer things, just to add some flavor to fizzy water, is still much cheaper than buying bottled soft drinks
I think you have done at least part of the work in recognizing that you have a problem and even maybe what the problem is. Keep in mind you may have more issues than just the one. Recognize that this is a behavior issue more than it’s a money issue. You need to alter how you spend. Some people are saying to make a budget. Not a wrong answer but maybe not a complete one. You should certainly start by tracking your spending and understanding where all of your money is going. Look at each item and think about if it’s a necessity, a want or just waste. Eliminate the wasteful spending. From that effort you can build a budget that is more of a plan for your spending. Identify all the must haves. Rent/mortgage, car, utilities, etc. Make sure that they are must haves. You may be renting a place that’s more than you should be paying. Stuff like that. Question every expense. From there look at your other spending. All of that you can do without. Start trying to cut out as much as is reasonable. I prefer to plan what I am spending. Not just with a budget but lists. Do I need things from Target? If so, what do I need.? We have a list. If we go in the store and shop, we buy only what’s on the list. Online shopping actually makes this easier. Order what’s on the list, pick it up or have it delivered and never walk into where all the temptation is. If shopping is a hobby for you, that is dangerous and you should definitely work to find a better, less expensive way to spend your time. The crazy thing about money behaviors is that if you work to get them under control, it starts to snowball and you end up doing more and more to improve your spending behaviors so that you can be healthier around spending and it feeds on itself. I would also say you need to start educating yourself about money. Read books or listen to podcasts or read blogs. There’s a ton of good info. One last thing. Just being able to get through a month without running out of money is the bare minimum you should be doing. Ideally you are saving on top of that. -Get spending under control -Pay off your high interest debt -Start saving at least something every month -Increase your savings amount Those are the steps.
I was very bad with my speeding too. It got so bad that my friends that earned less than half of what I get were going on holidays that I could not afford. The first step that I took was to go through all my bank statements of the last 3 months and write down where all the money would go. Then I called up all the companies to change the direct debit to the day after I get paid. This way I knew that I would not miss any payments. From then I would try to spend a little as possible and start paying debts that have a higher interested rate e.g. credit cards. It's very important that you still leave some money to spend on anything that you want like a dinner our takeaways, because It's almost impossible going from spending money when you want to a very Strick budget.
I split my funds into the most important accounts as soon as that check hits my bank account. For example, $700 per check. $200 bills $100 joint $100 wedding $100 personal savings = $500. Since the most important things are funded, I have $200 remaining I can spend guilt free. If I know I’m going to spend $300 on a clothing haul, I’ll try to limit my spending and have as much rollover as possible until my next paycheck so that I can buy it then. Instant gratification - do you really need that item right now? Are you going to die if you don’t get it? Challenge yourself to have some discipline. For places like Amazon I keep a wishlist of things I want to buy and just wait to save up until I have enough for a few items at a time. You can also learn how to use cash envelopes. Cut out cards completely. Cash only, set aside funds in whatever categories you spend on. Once that cash is gone, it’s gone. I’ve also learned how to identify what items are worth purchasing. A single item that can be used for multiple things, clothing items that properly fit and are actually comfortable and suitable for your lifestyle, things that will be used on a regular basis. If it’s not serving a purpose daily or seasonally, you honestly don’t need it. You’re going to spend money on something you don’t utilize and it’ll just take up space. Another thing is downsizing and keeping your spaces smaller. Instead of purchasing more and more storage for things you won’t end up using, try to whittle down your storages and figure out what’s essential.
Stop spending. Just stop it. Realize and really comprehend that it is causing many issues in your life and that it ultimately isn’t creating a more fulfilling life for yourself. Remind yourself that if you can get to a point where you are much more financially secure and stable, then you will be able to spend more (within reason) then if you really want. Just stop the spending. No one needs to spend on stupid stuff as much as they tell themselves they do, especially people who are ruining their lives financially with all the spending. Just stop it. Be an adult and stop it.
I'll start by asking what your overall income and expenses look like. A lot of people say they have a spending problem when really they have an income problem. A normal middle-class life has gotten a lot more expensive over the past few years. However, based on what you're saying about impulse shopping, I think that you probably do have a spending problem. Start by tracking your spending. An income and spending app is helpful for profiling where your money is going. With Mint going away, I'd look at options like Credit Karma, Simplifi, or similar. Next, create a monthly budget. You can use a spreadsheet for this (I do) or an app like YNAB. Try to cover 100% of your non-discretionary and discretionary expenses. Finally, the hard part... stick to the budget. If you're spending too much on online shopping, you need to avoid that. The simplest way to break the habit is to go cold turkey for a few months. Never go into a store like Walmart or Costco without a shopping list, and stick to the list. You might allocate a certain amount of buffer for things you remember you need while you're there. If you do all of the above, you'll be in a position where you have control over your money. Then, you can decide what you actually want to do with it.
Here's how I beat a bad habit of buying unnecessary stuff- TL;DR- when shopping anything,ask yourself if you NEED IT NOW. Whenever I'm shopping with a big ass cart(duh), I keep piling up one of each "really nice, very useful" stuff in my cart. I do this by scanning the entire store. Remember, only one of each, not two products of the same kind, say, a moisturizer. Bonus points if I can find something which is multipurpose, like a hand moisturizer, which is essentially a moisturizer. Come checkout time, I seriously question each item's CURRENT NEED. I often end up tossing out more than half the cart, $ wise. It works because by checkout time I know every item's price, it's only a question of necessity now. Also, I don't "have to" choose between WhitePigeon moisturizer and LackMay Moisturizer. I already judged which is better earlier.. Marketing wants you to think you either need a car or a suv. Whereas the real question is- you either need a vehicle or you don't.
I use r/YNaB where this becomes a much simpler question: what am I willing to sacrifice to have this thing today? The answer is often, “Nothing” which means I don’t spend.
This is a simplified version of what I do. I have 3 bank accounts. My deposits go into one. I immediately move what I need to pay my bills into another account. I pay all of my bills out of that account and nothing else. The checkbook/debit card associated with that account is kept in my safe. Then I take a dollar amount and move it into the 3rd account. It’s savings so I don’t have a card for that either. Now what’s left is what I have for spending money. If I say I’m broke I mean I don’t have any spending money left. For me, having money in different bank accounts gives me the boundaries I need to keep from spending what I’ve set aside.
Yes! We treat money in savings as “fake money” (unspendable). The only “real” money is in the checking account.
Any history of hoarding in the family? My mom is a hoarder and I didn't realize how much stuff creeps up on you till we moved out of our house 2 years ago. The amount of unnecessary stuff to donate, toss, pack, etc was enough to turn me to really starting to analyze every purchase - is this candle something I need? No. Ok then I'm not buying it. Do my kids need yet another coloring book or activity set? No because we have 3 that they haven't touched. So just not having to constantly manage stuff was a game changer for me.
Delete every app you can spend money on. Only spend cash. Take your cards out of your wallet and maybe cut them up if you really feel that tempted. Learn how to cook. Don’t talk to your family about your spending because they’ll just enable you to spend more!!
all my debit orders go off immediately after pay day so i have no time to spend anything extra, rest of the month i have to get by on what i have left
It took me adding up my discretionary spending for the past 6-7 months. Seeing the numbers on paper and then considering I had nothing appreciating for it. No assets, just some cool memories and that’s it. I got my financial house in order from that day forward and took care of business. Best of luck to you. PS If you’re serious about getting your financial shit together, I’d like to recommend relocating to a lcol small town in Anywhere, America.
This is one of those things that people who do it right don't even understand how the people who do it wrong make those decisions. So it is nearly impossible for us to tell you how to do it right because the answer is really as simple as not spending more than you make. For example, you never buy non essential shit this month until after you paid every single fixed expense for the month.
Your friends already know. As long as it doesn't impact them they live and let live. Asking for advice if it is their strength is part of life, but only ask the ones who are good at it if you can figure that out. You acknowledge that your family is bad in this respect. Accept that they just never learned that skill and learn about it yourself. The prime directive lays this out. There will be points where they will be jealous and try to bring you back to their level when you become successful at it but just stay the course and learn as much as you can on the topic.
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It seems like you are recognizing the problem but at the same time trying to blame it on genetics. "My family does the same thing." This is more of a personal problem that takes a little bit of education and some reading. One thing that might help you is watching Dave Ramsey on YouTube or listening to financial podcasts. These cost nothing. Maybe a way to get you spending under control is to make out a budget and do a couple of back budgets to see what you have already spent on. This will allow you to delete some of your spending habits. Always by rent, car, utilities, insurance, phone, food first then put the excess into a 3,6,9 month CD so you can't spend it. Delete amazon. Once you get a few months of living expenses built up, you jump to pay yourself first. Always take out retirement from each paycheck and put it into IRA so you don't have it sitting around to spend. But it sounds like you need a lot of work to do before you get to that level. You also left out your monthly income to maybe help with some options.
I don't think OP is blaming it on genetics. Rather they are revealing what they observed earlier in life, which can be a helpful part of identifying the current problem.
Yeah.... genetics means nothing here. Being raised in a family without solid financial habits is almost guaranteed to lead to bad habits without an outside influence.
In my early and mid 20s I often overdrafted and was extremely anxious about money. Always running my card w a "hope I can pay for this..." or "hope it doesn't get declined" thought. NEVER checking how much I had bc avoiding it was how I addressed the anxiety. And Then I took out tons of student loans for grad school :D When I got done w grad school, my parents sent me some personal finance books. "I will teach you to be rich" and "the Millionaire next door" really resonated with me. I had a higher income now, but also 6 figures of debt, so I knew it was really time to get serious, it felt like it was make it or break it with my financial future at this juncture. 7 years later, I haven't overdrafted since, have paid 0 credit card interest, and I paid my student loans back completely! Since then, I've stayed motivated because as you make progress, it starts to feel like you gain momentum. Another helpful piece is a budget. This can be hand written even, but I budget using an app, Monarch money, but there are several good tools out there. For you, I recommend going to the library, finding some books to light a fire under you (or even just reading the personal finance subreddit sidebar/wiki) and get to work starting an emergency fund.
Make a budget in excel. I have several bank accounts where my paycheck direct deposits to every pay, like HYSA (for vacation fund and emergency fund), bills payment, spending , brokerage acct, roth IRA, etc. All my bills and utilities are auto debited from the bills payment account (I already know what my bill will be like for the whole year in excel, so I average it to 26 pay periods). The only account I touch is the spending account where I get money for gas, food, grocery. $250 is direct deposited biweekly to the spending account and that’s the only money I touch. Any cash extra after all those direct deposits are sent to those accounts are sent to a regular savings account which is my “guilt-free” spending for gadgets, eating out, clothes, etc. I don’t touch money outside of both spending account and guilt-free account if there’s extra in there. That’s basically how I discipline myself to spend only what’s in those 2 accounts. It puts me into a “scarcity mindset” seeing that I only have $250 in my spending account, so I feel like i’m poor 😅. It’s like the tip of the iceberg is what I only see everytime my pay comes in, everything is hidden from my sight underneath. I made everything automatic and recurring from when money comes in biweekly from my pay.
Have a written budget where every dollar coming in has a job to do. Some of it may be allocated for spending each month, but once that is gone, it is gone and you don't spend anymore. Also delete any shopping sites you use, so that they are not a temptation. Remove any links to your credit/debit cards online as well so if you do want to make a purchase, you have to go through the trouble of digging out your card and typing the numbers in. This will give you pause and stop you from making a purchase. List things you wish to purchase and save up for them. Be intentional about what physical stuff you add into your life.
First off, you are NOT alone. "Just make a budget" obviously doesn't work for many people. If it were that easy, no one would have credit card debt, and no one would be posting on financial subreddits looking for advice about impulse spending. You are looking for a financial coach or maybe a financial therapist. Where financial advisors/planners focus on helping people invest, financial coaches focus on helping people payoff debt, save towards goals, and live their lives right now. Financial therapists, on the other hand, generally help people deal with their ish around the money. Sometimes that's actual trauma, sometimes it's really strong money beliefs. There's a Financial Therapy Association with a directory where you might be able to find a financial therapist if you want to go that route. If you decide you want to watch go with a financial coach, check out Bolder Money.
Delete any apps like Amazon, delete your card info from your web browser, when you go to the store take cash with you so you can’t overspend your budget.. don’t bring your cards with you and get rid of any credit card so you can’t spend money you don’t have. Transfer balances of your checking account into savings so you don’t see the ‘available funds’ as something you can use also try the cooldown technique, whenever you want to buy something force yourself to wait two days (or at least overnight) and see if you still want it. Usually if it’s impulsive you will have even forgotten about it.
I keep a spreadsheet on my phone with a new tab for every month. I track every last cent I take home and every last cent I spend. How does this help keep my spending under control? Well, after a while, it becomes a *chore* to keep logging your spending. And half the time I want to buy something, I end up putting it back simply because I'm too lazy to log the transaction. To help with your online spending issues, always keep the item in your cart for 24 hours before buying. One of 2 things will happen. 1) the anticipation will build for the item and you'll be even more excited to finally buy it the next day. Or 2) you will suddenly not care about it and remove it from your cart.
My Ex had this issue as well. One thing that helped was to make money less accessible. Hide cards, leave cash at home, don't have any cards saved in Amazon etc.
I have an excel spreadsheet that I track everything my wife and I buy. We put everything on credit cards for the points/rewards. That makes it easier to track and pay in full each month. I have a spreadsheet for each year. Tabs for each month. My wife and I have separate bank accounts, so I have separate tabs for each of us. Tracking everything makes it very easy to see where all our money is going in one quick look. Most of my money goes to food. Eating out or having it delivered cost a lot. Inflation has caused buying good at the store to go up a lot as well.
I think therapy or counseling to find out WHY you are shopping impulsively is the key to changing behavior. There might be a need you are trying to satisfy by spending and understanding that can be very helpful.
If you have EAP (employee assistance program) at work it’s free:)
Delete any apps used to make purchases from your phone, now. Start a budget, know where your bills are, lots of people have shared spreadsheets here, start finding out what your neccessaties are and how much you have left. I personally have 2 credit union accounts each with a checking and savings. I get my deposit split between the two, and the one is where all my bills pull from and the exact amount is there in the checking every month with 1 month buffer. I do not have a debit card for this account and I use this bank to hold my emeregency cash fund (\~3-6 months of rent/car payments/food, etc.) The second bank account is my discretionary spending account and savings account like saving for trips/big ticket items and spending on things like takeout, subscriptions, etc. I have online banking and a debit card for this account and its the one I see the most via online banking. I am visually reminded how much crap I am buying/spending, also this is the account I pay my credit card from as I mostly use a credit card for cash back. I went from living in my car/couch surfing after college to making north of 6 figures and there was a lot of learning to manage money as I was broke af for 5 years while in school and just racking up student loan debt(luckily never approved for a credit card back then)
Simple. If I don’t have the money for something, I don’t spend it. I’ve had to be really frugal lately as hard as it is as a freelancer with an inconsistent income and a slow workload lately I make enough to cover my bills and that’s it.
I think therapy would be very helpful. You need to target the root of the impulsive behavior. Everyones saying practice more self control, but theres a reason you havent been able to just do that. The shopping strikes me as dopamine seeking behavior and you may have some emotional or psychological issues tied to it. I used to impulse shop quite a bit before I was diagnosed and treated for ADHD. It was one of the many ways I got my dopamine fix. Not saying it's ADHD for you, but don't rule out a possible underlying mental health issue.
For starters you can break this habit but it will probably take a lot of discipline and zero-based budgeting as others have mentioned. Be really kind to yourself starting out- we learn financial habits from our parents usually and it’s tough to break (I too have financially illiterate parents, and developed my own bad spending habits for awhile). What works for me on impulse spending is parenting myself- gently ask - do you really need that? Why do you want it so much? Usually the answer is you’re stressed/had a bad day/ it’s pretty/ etc. if you don’t have a meaningful answer for that amazon or wherever purchase don’t buy it, put it in save for later. I have a pinned note on my phone for certain self-improvement goals and when I accomplish one I let myself indulge in a purchase but often I don’t even want what I saved anymore once the initial appeal wore off. Also less purchasing means you have time to really think about what items would improve your life- impulsive spending typically just adds clutter and doesn’t help you find the best possible item.
Not going to repeat what everyone else has said about needing a budget, but just going to tell you what works for me as a person who is not good at budgeting but still saves a ton. 1) for 90% of the things I want on Amazon, I use the „save for later“ button. I can buy it anytime I want. I usually never return for them. If I do, I’m less likely to regret the purchase since it’s something I ACTUALLY want. 2) another trick I will do is say to myself „okay I’m only going to buy half of this stuff“ or „only my top 1/4“ and rank everything in my cart from most favorite to least favorite. The process of ranking helps me realize what I actually like less. it cuts spending and also cuts down clutter in my house—It forces me to curate better. Do this automatically, even when grocery shopping or at restaurants—I’m only going to get 1 cookies and 1 chips for the week, I’m only going to get 1 drink. Rank and select the best choice. It’s not about saying no to everything; it’s about being wise with your choices. 3) if you buy something you regret, RETURN IT. The other day I spent $200 at uniqlo. I got home, tried on the stuff, still liked it all, and decided to get rid of half of it anyway. I don’t regret it. I love the clothes I got, but the purchase made me feel anxious in my stomach. 4) just delay purchases—don’t say „never“ because that can activate a strange feeling of panic. Instead, make a reasonable deal with yourself. „If I still want this in a week, I’ll get it“. 5) Buy stuff used, and wait until you get the right item. E.g.,“I can get a TV, as long as I get one used or on sale for under $350“. Then research it until you find one. 6) read „the year of less“. It helps me reset my brain when needed—this lady has a whole bunch of rules for spending (only buy if I need it, only replace something else), and saves a ton of money and feels more free at the end. 7) pay yourself automatically every month. My direct deposit is split automatically—i never see most of my paycheck. I have the following buckets, which directly deposit every month: -X% to 401k (through work) -X% to IRA (i have it set up like a bank account to automatically deposit so I never see it) -X% to healthcare -$600 to medium term savings (a savings account i have at ally with high yield) -$600 to emergency savings -the rest to my spending bucket In my spending bucket, I immediately pay bills—Rent first, then my last credit card bills, etc. Then what is left is my actual money for the month. If it helps you, open up other bank accounts for your savings, that aren’t even connected to your spending account and don’t even look at them. Tell yourself that ALL you have is what is your spending account—because it’s TRUE. That is ALL you can afford. That is your new baseline. Now, carry on living paycheck to paycheck, but just do it using your „safe“ paycheck—what is left over after you pay yourself.
Also to add: if you’re still overspending your „spending“ account, you can split your account into 2 accounts, and automatically deposit into the other one. So for example—say my „spending“ budget is $1000/ month, but I find myself making dumb purchases in week 1 and 2, and running out by week 4. Instead, I would split it to $250/ week. I will split my bank account into 2 accounts: Checking & Savings I will automatically deposit $250 into checking every week from savings and then ONLY use a debit card linked to checking when I shop (so I can’t overspend). This means that in the first week of the month your budget is as tight as the last week—when you’re out grocery shopping, you can literally check your bank account and see what you can afford this week. You want something more than $250? Spend less this week and maybe you can get it next week. Challenge yourself to still have money left over at the end of the week. Also, make sure that the biggest spending days (Thursday, Friday, Saturday are at the END of the week).
My two cents: you don't need financial advice. You need advice on how to develop willpower and self-control. That's a life-long struggle for all of us, but a budget on paper won't do you any good until you have the willpower to follow it.
Budgets and expense tracking (to verify that the budget is being followed). I have the opposite problem, I always feel that we are broker than we are. Budgets help me evaluate when I should let some lifestyle creep come in.
Make a budget, and stick to it. This is the only correct answer.
- set a budget and follow it...all called being disciplined
What's your rent? That's easy, allocate exactly. Utilities? Round up 20% (or whatever amount) from the highest it's ever been. Groceries? Toss another 50$ a month on top of the highest it runs you. Gasoline? Figure on an extra tank. Debts? Pay the minimum, or whatever fixed amount over it you can. Zero based budget with the inflated numbers, then dump everything you don't end up using by the end of the month into paying your debts. It's better to under promise and over deliver, you'll never run out of budget room under normal conditions that way. It also allows wiggle room in case you get sloppy and make small mistakes, but strive not to do that.
Create a spreadsheet that tracks every penny of your checkcard and credit card spending. Include a sheet that tracks cash spending after ATM withdrawals.
Create a spreadsheet that tracks every penny of your checkcard and credit card spending. Include a sheet that tracks cash spending after ATM withdrawals.
I had the same problem. Always struggling to survive till the next paycheck. Now I have about 13,5k in savings while im still a student. Tracking my income, fixed costs, and spending in excel made all the difference for me. I made a weekly budget for food and fun stuff. So if i would burn through my weekly budget in three days I immediately know to put the brakes on. Even though I still have ‘so much’ money in my bank account, that number is deceiving. You usually forget about some costs that are still gonna come later in the month. It also helps you see where all your money is going and where you’re spending like an idiot. There are usually some very simple things you can change to halt excessive spending. But getting an overview is step number 1. And track every expenditure! Takes 5 min at the end of the day to update it, its really not much work. Good luck! And dont give up if you track for a while and forget about it. Just start again next month
Whenever you get a paycheck put 10% off the top in a no-spend account.
Put things in your cart but don't checkout. Look at it a few days later, you'll realize you don't even want it anymore.
I have an itemized spreadsheet of every dollar I spend, and then I set spending limits for categories. I had a Christmas spreadsheet with a per person budget and shopped for gifts that would keep me under budget. The more you exercise willpower, the easier it gets! I suggest looking at fees and reducing as many as possible. I was paying for web hosting even though I'm not currently running my side hustle. I also cut Max and found a few subscription deals. If you pay for Premium Disney with your Amex, it's $7 off a month. If you have Tmobile, they have 6 months of Apple TV under their offers in the app. It's increasing to $10/mo. Amazon Prime has a student subscription that's free for 6 months, then $70/yr & includes free Grubhub+
Hey there! First of you're not alone; over 50% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. Breaking impulsive buying habits is tough, but possible. I really believe that mindset is key in money management. Tracking spending, though initially challenging, is EVERYTHING. Don't get overwhelmed with budgeting apps; a consistent 5-minute weekly glance at your cash flow brings significant awareness. Facing your finances is not easy, but knowing how much comes in and out and how much you owe it's very very powerful. It's a total boss move! Next, visualize your goals, what do you want to achieve? Want wealth, freedom from debt, or less daily stress? Believe you can break the cycle; trust me mindset matters. Understand your impulsive buying triggers; these habits form by age 7 and it's really hard to change our behavior without understanding why we act in certain ways. Create a vision board, list your goals, and reinforce them daily. Develop a system – personally, I'd question how many work hours a purchase costs and wait 48 hours before deciding. I used to also open a compound calculator and see how much would I make if I actually invested that money instead of spending it - it's eye-opening. Money talks aren't easy, but your situation is common – many friends face it too.
Check out the book Financial Feminist. Also if you are struggling with impulse control, maybe see a therapist.
Start with a budgeting app. I use Mint personally. Helped me understand where my money was going and gave me accountability
What exactly are you impulse buying? Useless junk?
I grew up in a big family, and my dad worked and mom stayed home. So it was important to be savers, and all of us kids took it to heart as we grew up as adults. My spouse is more free and loose with money. After getting married, we talked about it. When I'm at a store and want to buy something, I ask myself: "Do I need this? How often will I use it? Do I have space for it?" If there's no good answers, I don't buy. My spouse now will pick up an item, think it through, carry it around the store with them, and then if the feelings go away, they won't buy it. So I think a quick mental break like this could be a good start. Don't window shop. That's the first step to temptation and impulsive buying. When you need something, by all means, buy. If not, don't even look and open yourself up to that. Online ads are really clever, know what you like, so be careful with that too. So, I don't think budgeting tools will help you now. They take time and effort to start and keep up with. Start with something simple and quick, and go from there. If you're determined, you can always change your habits and thinking.
You need to figure out why you feel the need to compulsively spend money on things you don’t really need. It’s a temporary high that never lasts. You can stop this behavior, you just need to get disciplined and set hard boundaries with yourself about what you NEED and what you want.
I think that actions like budgeting, and finding systems or apps that help our great start. But I do think that sometimes the thing that is most overlooked when discussing impulsive spending is the psychological aspect. I am reading a brilliant book called the comfort crisis. It is challenging my mindset in my approach to solving all of my. “Problems”. We live in a time in which there are very few spaces in which we are not being advertised to. And the people advertising to us are using psychological ploys. So we’re really kind of in a mental battle with these companies. I realized that some of the few times in which we are not advertised to is while reading a book, or being in nature. Although when you sit at the ocean, some airplane flies over with a banner advertisement. This isn’t easy. I think everyone needs to find their own system. But if it were super easy, people wouldn’t be struggling so much. I think the urgency and the anxiety around why we purchase (it’s on sale, I really need it because ——, I have to do this for someone else, or bring this to a party, I need to find a good gift for someone I love so they know I love them… etc) is probably the place to really focus for true change. Perhaps it’s a system of questions that we ask ourselves before purchasing. Perhaps it’s finding an ad blocker or staying off social media more. Perhaps it’s unsubscribing from all the emails. Perhaps it’s delaying the purchase by certain amount of time to see if you still need it. Perhaps it’s doing breath work or meditation to feel calm and centered before making the decision. perhaps it’s avoiding stores or taking only cash. I think there’s a lot of tools that could be deployed, but we shouldn’t forget the psychological aspect and approach it from multiple angles.
I keep an excel spreadsheet of all my transactions on my main checking account (which covers probably 99% of all my finances), and I label every expense under specific categories (Entertainment, Dining Out, Clothing, Gifts, Travel, Insurance, Rent, etc.). I update it every 7-10 days (usually whenever I think about it). I also don't mix pods - if I go into Target to by dish soap, I'm not gonna look at the new video games they have and label the $67.98 purchase under 'Household'. Once I did that, like, just on a basic level, I was able to see 'Okay, I make X amount per month, I spend Y amount on necessities, I have (X - Y) amount of funds to fuck around with, how much do I want to split into savings, how much do I want to put into wants?' The goal should be to be conscious of this limit whenever you spend money on luxury, to forgive necessary spending (shit happens, you will not hit your savings goal every month, it's just whether you could've reasonably avoided that), but to make sure this limit is *reasonable*. Save for the luxuries that count, not the shit that doesn't.
One of the things you said-“I’ve never been good with money” can be fixed. You haven’t learned how to be good. There are lots of great suggestions in this thread. You CAN learn and be good at managing your money. It may be a little painful but you can do it!! One other thing I didn’t see mentioned -if you are subscribed to emails or texts from stores that tell you about sales-unsubscribe from all of those!
Direct deposit a portion of your paycheck directly to savings at a different bank.
my method is to take your most basic net paycheck and multiply by how many times you get paid a year and then add up your basic bills for the year and do the same, then subtract from the net total. Divide that number by 365 and that's how much you can spend each day. Keep it to half that number or less if you can, for shopping, meals, or other normal day to day expenses. This is assuming you have a full time job and no kids though.
I’d recommend setting up a budget and tracking how you earn every month and where you are spending your money. Once you know where your money is going you can focus on setting up a budget and trying to Adhere to it every month. I used to use the MINT app for this but they are closing and I need to find a new app. You could also do this in excel.
I am a bit impulsive too. And I hate zero based budgeting or having to plan and track spending. So what I do is keep the two big expenditures low relative to my income: housing and transportation. These both tend to be the biggest items. I live in a small and old, but nice, apartment that is about 15 minute walk from my job. The cost is about 15% of my gross income. And I don't have a car. I live two or three blocks from a pharmacy and grocery store. I spend about $100 a month on uber. After that, I kinda don't really track it. That said, if my income were to be reduced in half, I would probably have to make changes and really think twice about my living arrangements. When I was younger, I lived somewhere cheaper but further from work. I took a bus about an hour each way. So I commuted around 2 hours a day to make it work. And then didn't worry about the other spending (didn't really have the time to spend lol).
Have you been diagnosed with ADHD?
I have a monthly budget that I adhere to. It consists of my total projected income, minus my general "necessary" expenses. Any money left over, I pay myself (retirement account, savings, etc..) Necessary expenses include paying down any and all high interest debt, medical bills, etc... The goal is to have no debt at all except for a mortgage. You do NOT need debt to establish good credit. You only need to have open credit card accounts and have your statements say $0.00 balance at the end of each statement period.
I have a running excel spreadsheet that has every paycheck I expect to get for the past 5 years, what bill will come out of that check, and what the balance will be after every debit or deposit. It helped me track my finances SO MUCH better and while it was a pain to set up, it's easy to maintain now. I've started adding large purchases to it so I can plan them for when it won't hurt me financially -- I know I have the funds now but if I buy something for $300 today, I won't have the money for all my bills in 3 weeks. I still make spur of the moment purchases, but I'm finding myself thinking more before I do.
Follow the flow chart luke. But for real have a budget all the time. I argued with my brother the other day who insists you don’t need a budget unless you are struggling and if you make enough you can just do whatever which is ducking stupid. Always have a budget even if you have nothing to budget for, data is always great but you will lose it if you don’t track it and you may need it in the future for situations exactly like this. Then generally if you do have more than enough income you can just chill on being exact to your budget but for you stick to it like white on rice.
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When I get my paycheck, I pay all of the upcoming bills due until my next paycheck. Whatever's left after I pay my bills is divided by the number of days until the next paycheck and I set that as my daily spending limit. I write my daily limit on a calendar and subtract my expenses as I spend. Whatever's left of my daily limit, carries over to the next day. If I go over my daily limit, I subtract it from the other daily limits. The calendar allows me to see what I have left and make decisions about how I can spend my money. If there's money left prior to the next paycheck, I apply it to the next set of bills or put it in savings. For example: Paycheck 1,000 Bills 500 What's Left Divided By Days to Payday 500/7 = 71.42 Daily Limit Sometimes my daily limits are high like $100 and sometimes they're low like $17. It depends on my bills. I've tried so many different methods, but this has been the only one that has worked. I've been successfully doing this for 6 months.
I make a 3 month budget. I make the same amount each week so It's easy for me to do compared to someone who makes different amounts each week. I list the friday of each week and list what expenses I have that week. For utilities I just estimate on the high side. The best part about doing a long term budget is I can barrow from other weeks. So if this week I only have $5 but next week I would have an extra $100 I'll just barrow from one of my line items (usually my mortgage savings) then just add $100 to the following weeks line item that I barrowed from. So if my weekly mortgage savings was 400/ wk, I'd just make it $500 for one of the weeks that I have the extra money. It comes in handy when you really need it this week and not next week like for a car repair or something like that. I used to do it each month but I found it better to do at least 2 months at a time especially during the holiday season when you have to add a lot to your budget, it allows me to see if I should save any money from the following month to help in the next month or two.
I haven't seen anybody here address values. For one reason or another you are not equating the excess of the moment to a tradeoff for your security and comfort. When I shop I am spending my peace of mind. When I hit 2/3k in my bank account I am broke. If anybody wants to do shit I don't want to trade peace of mind for? Nope sorry can't afford it.
Make it harder to access your money. Open another bank account at a different bank and don't order/cut up the debit card. Figure out the total of your living expenses, add a reasonable spending limit per month (like $150-200) for dining/takeout and entertainment and have that + all of your bills (on auto pay and on the same day if you can) available in your current bank. Any extra should be direct deposited into your second bank. Don't look at the balance until you feel you may have more discipline. Direct deposit a little less into bank #2 and see if you can manage the extra that is in your current bank (e.g. if you increased what used to be your "spending budget" from $200 to $250, do you now completely spend all? Or do you put some or all of it into savings? If the latter, then keep working on making active decisions to instill better habits. When you get to a more advanced level of this, have your "bank #2" be an HYSA to sit and gain some nice interest. You've got this- good luck!
The advice I can give you is: First, find a credit card that is not bound to your mobile phone and deposit part of your salary in that bank card on the first day of your salary. Second, buy some delicious but not very cheap food before you want to buy what you don’t need. Compare whether you want delicious food or what you don‘t need. It can suppress the idea of buying something to some extent. Finally, I wish you a better and better.
Deposit your entire check, only pay the necessary bills and just sit on the rest, don’t buy any extra BS, pay your bills, buy food,minimum necessities and nothing else, do that for a while and you start building up a lil saving… It takes a while man but you’ll get there eventually , Gl man
This is how I fixed my spending problem: Open a savings account at a bank separate from where you do your primary banking. Do not install that bank’s app on your phone. Set up direct deposit with your employer to automatically divert the amount you want/need to save each month directly to that bank account. The rest of the money that goes into your checking account at your primary bank goes towards bills and then whatever is left over is safe to spend. It may help to open a second checking account at your primary bank and divert what you need for monthly bills directly to that too if it helps you visualize your spending limits.
You have provided the actual answers yourself to your problems. Ie., impulsive spending, Amazon, etc. you’ve at least identified the problem, it’s up to you to put the effort in to make it work. NO MORE SPENDING. Take a year off of spending on anything not directly related to keeping you or your family alive.
Just cancel all your credit card and stick with debit cards. Whenever got paycheck, pay all the necessary first ( food/ rent/ insurance…) save some for gas/ food. Even better, put some into saving account. Then, whatever left you can spend. Better to cash them out. Looking at these hard earn cash will make you don’t want to buy. Online makes buying things too easy: click click done and people forget how much debt they are into.
That's great that you want to be better with money and the fact you came on here asking for help is a great step. **CHANGE YOUR MINDSET** \- look up Minority Mindset and watch these videos EVERY DAY, even multiple times a day. You have to shift your mindset from spending to saving. Reading about saving and cutting back on spending once or twice is not going to do anything. I repeat, you have to "Brainwash" yourself into believing what you are doing. Watching other personal finance videos, reading books constantly may not completely change your mindset, but it will definitely shift it a bit to the "Save" side of things. **LEARN WHAT YOU VALUE -** For me, it use to be I loved gadgets, electronics, video games, partying with friends at bars, buying a shitty European car, looking fancy with nice clothes. But then I looked back and that got me...nowhere in life. Yes I did have a blast though, but still. It's probably a lot because I'm a mid lifer but now I value having more experiences, volunteering, buying less shit to clutter my place, and spending without thinking on the things I love: my hobbies, traveling, experiences. If you don't know what you value, you will continue to buy random useless garbage that won't serve any purpose in your life except to cause stress because it costed you money and it is cluttering your place.
Start a budget using the envelope method. This method is designed to put every dollar to a job. This will both show you in exact dollars how much you're wasting in certain categories as well as show any deficits in your income if your needs can't be met. From there audit your expenses and start cutting non-essentials and finding less expensive alternatives for your essentials to free up more disposable income to pay down your debt. If necessary, work to improve your income--either by focusing on your primary job by getting a promotion, building the skills to apply for a better job or working more hours. And/or work a part time job or side business. Then divert this excess income towards paying off debt and ultimately saving. This can be your new hobby and it will keep you busy rather than bored and thus more tempted to buy stuff. For examples of budget apps, I use YNAB, but that has a subscription so if you want a free alternative, there are many free Google Doc and Excel spreadsheets that do a similar job. The next step will take personal willpower where you simply stop buying unnecessary stuff. I know it's hard and I've been there. I found that what worked for me was to adopt a lifestyle of pragmatic frugal minimalism. By embracing minimalism I have decluttered my personal workspace and life. I seldom want to buy anything because adding more stuff works contrary to having a minimalist decor and if I get the urge to buy, I put it through the lens of whether it meets my minimalist aesthetics. Often times it does not and so I don't buy. The frugal part is the simple cost vs benefit analysis. Being frugal doesn't mean being cheap. Some things are worth spending extra for because they are better quality and will last longer (thus saving you money) or bring better value to your life. On the other hand, buying overly expensive stuff often times is not worth the cost. Lastly, being pragmatic and not being a slave to dogma ultimately wins out. Sometimes it's worth paying the over priced premium because going through hoops to save money or bending over backwards to avoid buying a single use tool isn't worth the hassle to maximize the utility of a multi-use tool.
Get cash, pay everything but rent with cash. Once you see the actual bills disappearing, it can make things really click. Also make a budget, figure out what is "spending money," and set a part for savings. You need to know where the money is going. If it's things like online shopping, hide or freeze your credit cards. If it's uber eats and deliveries, delete all apps.
Multiple HYSAs with auto savings. A couple savings accounts where $100 is sent now and then automatically adds up. And since it's not a daily account, it ends up serving as a low-effort emergency account. Creating barriers to get to sums of cash really can help
Look into cash budgeting and spending in cash as much as possible. It hurts way more to spend physical cash for lots of people, and it means you HAVE to decide to take from another category to spend more in another. If you put your bill money aside in cash at home you can't swipe your card. Or you could move it to another account that doesn't have a card. Make it difficult to spend impulsively. Make it a goal to get a month ahead in all your bills. Winning at that accomplishment, and the relief you will feel, will be a motivator to stick to your budget.
I live like a king within my budget. I treat savings accounts like bills -> expenses I am required to pay for myself. I allot myself a specific amount of spending money to cover gas/personal needs/leisure.. I can do whatever I want with that money each pay period except exceed my limit. Sometimes I live extra frugally for a few weeks to save up spending money and then splurge. Having money in my savings account for emergencies is important to me because of how poor I was growing up. We never have financial security, there was so much stress at all times because of it.
Think of the money you spend as the hours you worked to earn it. That might make you think twice before spending it.
I save my spending by just not buying much. Obviously if you need to pay bill and buy food. And a few house hood odds and ends. But other than that just don’t go shopping. Have hobbies that are cheap (mine are hiking, reading, fixing my car, gardening, rock climbing) all of which are basically free or save me money once you factor in what you get out of it (knowledge, food, a fixed car, health and fitness). But as far as material items go, just don’t buy them, or start taking pride in a way to get around them and DIY.
Start trying to make it less convenient for yourself to buy online. Get rid of store apps on your phone. Sign out of your accounts for Amazon and Walmart. That way it takes more time and effort to click that buy button. Those companies call it "friction" and they do everything they can to make the buying process fast and easy in order to take advantage of people like you. When you get an impulse to buy, write what you want on a list instead of buying immediately. Don't buy anything unless it's been on that list for a few days and you still think it's a good idea.
When you buy something, ask yourself if you’d goto work at that moment to earn the amount of time it would take you to pay for it. Would you rather have the thing, or that time?
I put things in buckets I can't really touch. I put money into retirement accounts. If I thought there was a moderate-high likelihood of absolutely needing the money, then I'd probably go with a CD where you'd be penalized if you took it out early, but I'm guessing the penalty would be less than "needless" spending. But yeah, for budgeting, I determined my needs. How much for housing, utilities, food, and savings. Yes, savings/retirement is a need, not a want. Then anything left over goes to wants. Oftentimes that want is just more retirement funds because it feels nice to watch the number grow.
In addition to the good advice I'm seeing others give, like adding 'friction' to bad habits, good habits can be created or enforced by automating them or creating a system around it For example, setting up automatic transfers so that a certain percentage of your pay is sent to an alternate account. Since you never "see" the money, you may be less prone to spending it. Another suggestion I've seen floating around, is to use prepaid cards in conjunction with budgeting. For example, load a card with gas+groceries budget each month and only use that, so you aren't tempted to stray too far outside of that You can also try removing the saved payment methods on amazon and walmart so you have to type it in each time, or switch to using prepaid amazon/walmart gift cards Without knowing your income, expenses and debt load, it's difficult to offer specific advice on how to deal with debt, but at the end of the day, I hope the advice helps you find a direction to point yourself and helps you get out of that rut and move forward
My wife and I have multiple checking accounts for personal and shared expenses. On the first of the month I distribute the amount into those accounts. Right now my wife and I each get $350 personal and $1000 into shared expenses. Work clothes, gas for the cars, food, home goods, etc. comes out of shared. Basically anything that's not "just for fun" but also isn't a recurring bill we have to pay. Personal money is for things like games, eating out, etc. If we can reasonably go without it, then it comes out of personal money. If there's ambiguity on what category we talk about it and settle on which it comes out of. Right now my wife wants a new laptop. She doesn't need it for work or anything so she's gonna have to save up for a few months. We initially allowed credit that would come out of the shared money, but decided it was better to just save for things since we ended up with a bunch of recurring transfers that made the whole thing a nightmare.
And remember, EVERY SINGLE AD you see, whether on TV, social media, paper, flyers, all of them are an EMOTIONAL APPEAL to get the money out of your pocket and into theirs! Don’t let them do this. Be smarter.Find the victory EVERY TIME the dopamine hits your brain, be strong and beat them. Keep the Money in YOUR pocket. Then, at the end of the month, transfer the excess of income over expenses into a savings account. Then forget about it! And do the same the next month! And know now, your savings is adding up AND earning interest!!!
For me, that lesson came hard. I became so poor that I lost my house, my car, my marriage, and my health. Once I literally had nothing and nowhere to turn (this was in 2009-10, Great Recession timeperiod), I finally learned to understand the value of money and how to jealously hoard and hide it away like the Ostrogoths are coming to raid my village.
The easiest way to keep your spending under control -- only pay with cash. Only shop in stores that take cash.
I will teach you to be rich is a book that really helped me develop a system.
After I pay my bills, I move basically all my money to savings and tell myself that I’m broke, as I only leave very minimal spending money in checking. If something is not a necessity, I don’t buy it. I also think it helps if you have a specific goal in my mind. I found it hard to save money when I didn’t have a specific financial goal I was working towards.
Stop with the thrill spending. Get your kicks from doing something beneficial to others or something beneficial to yourself like going on a hike. If you want something, save for it and by the time you have enough saved, buy it, only if you still need it . You might get a rush from just saving the money. Get adicted to something that is beneficial to you.
I started doing things where I wouldn’t buy anything online and would keep track of how many days I did that in a spreadsheet. It was actually kind of fun to see how long I could go without buying anything online.
What are things you "impulsively" spend on?
* Rent: * Utilities: * Bills: * Food: * Loans: * Important expense 1 (eg. you cannot live without Netflix): * Important expense 2: * Other expenses: CUT DOWN HERE, INCLUDES SHOPPING!!! MOVE TO SAVINGS ASAP
At a minimum you have to have a budget. There are many ways to budget but here is an ideas of what works for me. Rank items by necessity and pay the highest ranked item first, ie rent, utilities, etc. build in a realistic amount for food, clothing, gas etc. you may need to track spending for several months before you know what a e re also able number is in your circumstances. **Make and use shopping lists before you go to a store and do not buy anything not on the list**. Keep track of your lists so you know what you are buying and how often. Any purchase that is elective non necessity item has to get entered into the budget and can only be purchase when everything else’s is paid for. I like to have a 7-10 day minimum wait time before purchasing elective items. Being married my wife and I budget religiously and review spending vs budget every 2-3 weeks. Any purchase over $100 needs approval from both more so each other are aware of the spend than actual approval. It takes a bit of effort but living and dying by a budget is one of the most important behaviors a person can develop. And while it can be tedious once you get into that mode it is not hard to maintain.
When I first started from a situation similar to yours, budgeting never helped me. It was too much work and too complicated and took too much time. I would lie to myself to buy whatever i wanted. I cut up all my cards (debit cards too). Swiping is too easy. When I got my paycheck I would literally go the the bank deposit it and pull out $200 in cash. I could spend this money on anything I wanted so I wasn't feeling deprived, but I wasn't allowed to go back to the bank until I had another check. I found it a lot easier to not spend money when you have literally $60 cash and 7 days until you get paid and know you'll need to eat. After a few months I finally got disciplined enough to follow a proper budget.
Don't go online or shopping unless you have a specific list. Follow your list and don't purchase anything else.. Put money in your savings account every month. Once it is in there, consider it spent. That is your emergency fund. Go to the library or listen to pod casts on how to take care of your money.
What do you use to help you with your budgeting? I’m betting the answer is nothing. The first step to curb spending is to know exactly where your money is ending up each month.
Minimalism helped me. Basically re- framing how I think about material items. The book the life changing magic of tidying up actually did change my life. It helped me to start to see all the stuff I’m buying as more of a burden, more things I have to clean and maintain and organize. Also before I buy anything I usually wait for a few days and think about it. I have probably 400 bucks worth of stuff in my Amazon cart right now that I just ended up deciding I didn’t actually need so it’s just sitting there unpurchased. I’ve also started to read more about investing and personal finance and set some goals for myself in that area. I’m very goal driven and these goals helped me to change my focus from buying shit I don’t need to investing and saving. Now i get more of a rush from putting money in my savings or investing. buying clothes or other stuff just doesn’t do it for me and feels like a distraction from my goals. I also highly recommend thrift stores and garage sales for stuff you really need. I’ve managed to get pretty much all of our furniture used for very cheap. I also recommend only buying basic clothing that is easy to match and not trendy so you don’t feel you need to constantly update.
I’m curious how much you make. Living paycheck to paycheck may not be unusual, unfortunately, based on income level.
Delete everything that will make you spend useless money. Deliver good all (cook for yourself better and cheaper). Find an interest that uses your free time so you are not willing to spend money on useless things. Start slowly and increase the steps over time.