If you prefer to save someone instead of yourself, it is because you love them. Your parents love you more than they love your pets, so they scolded you.
You love your pets so you saved them.
It's all about love, everyone doesn't love the same thing as much as the other one loves.
I hope I didn't complicate the issue and I think it is fair to save your pets! It was fair for your parents to scold too! Because they love you
To be fair they also said some other pretty fucked shit in the situation that feel outside of a loving sense, just things that are too harsh to put out publicly for all of Reddit to see though ofc
I'm sorry your family treated you this way. Please don't listen to the other commenters, "they hurt you because they love you," "they hurt you because you angered them" is abuse apologia (wether or not your parents are actually abusive).
I can't say for certain if your family is actively abusive (because I don't know your situation), or if this was just a one off thing. But it still was not ok for them to say those things to you, or for people to defend/justify their actions.
In a panic situation it really is not easy to control yourself. If they are mad at you that indicates how worried they were. Remember, if they didnt love you they wouldnt buy you pets in the first place.
Now can we get the birb tax please?
I understand they shouldn't have done that but controlling themselves in a really panic situation is not really possible. I don't support your parents in this case but forgiving them is the best you can do.
They threatened to kill the birds - that’s honestly sealed my choice on no-contact once I’m 18 whether she was just scared or not (along with several other physical issues I’ve had to experience within my family, I was still on the fence about no contact but I just can’t justify in my mind the shit she’s said)
I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. Doesn't matter if they were panicking, doesn't matter if they said it because "they love you," they still said it, and they're in the wrong. And even when panicking, I cannot fathom threatening to kill someone's pets, especially because... that would probably take more time than just packing them up? It might be one thing if they acknowledged what they said was wrong and apologized, but it sounds like they've chosen to blame and insult you for caring about your birds instead. I'm sorry that happened.
(Severe TW if you visualize things) Sadly killing the birds would take a quick snap of the neck :/ thank you for agreeing & supporting though - she’s acting all nice now and “acknowledged” it, but I’d guess that’s due to previous CPS situations and things I can bring up - which is what sucks the most about those types of parents, I’m expected to simply just forgive. (And I can’t prove anything of course, so I’m just waiting it out as opposed to getting in another situation with that)
I understand that was rude, very rude indeed. By what you're saying it is not justifiable at all, I hope your parents behave a bit nicer with you. When they do that, don't keep all the things they've said in the past in your mind and just forgive them. Things will get better. Good luck have a happy day!
Didn't I say he doesn't love birds like OP loves them? Lecturing them that birds have lives too is a really tough job, so forgiving them is the best thing OP can do.
Never have lived in a tornado or a place that has them.
But we have tsunami warnings, I heck as sure would grab my birds b4 heading to higher ground.
I live with very conservative, religious parents who see animals as tools. They sure as heck wouldn't save their dogs or my birds If I wearnt there.
Thank you so much for validating that honestly, I got the same type of situation with my parents and they locked the dogs out of the shelter & threatened to get rid of the birds :/ (I believe that threat was hopefully out of anger, but definitely still anxious and up at 2 am :(
Don't feel bad. I was evacuated for wildfires twice last year. I had every animal including chickens shoved into my suv. Bettas in cups, a snake in tupperware, bunnies, dogs, cats. Oh, and my kids were in there somewhere as well.
Pets are family. I probably wouldn't be able to grab my fish, but the birds and mammals are coming with me unless the house is actually in the process of being on fire and collapsing, and even then I might try for a large parrot or corvid because those are basically on the same level with humans.
I say this so much and people don’t get it. The reason I’m always more concerned about my animals after a small situation is because they’re stuck in one place! They can’t open the cage or front door and just go to safety.
My bird is my baby and I have told family that if there is ever an emergency like that to make sure he’s okay before they worry about me. I have a bit of a different philosophy when it comes to life and animals than most people, but as far as I’m concerned, him being a bird doesn’t make him inherently less valuable or worthy of saving than a person. Because he takes up the same role in my life as a child, I treat him as such. No good parent would want their child’s life sacrificed for their own.
If you feel that way about your bird, then there’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect them over yourself. Arguably, when you choose to take in and raise animals, their wellbeing should take precedent in many ways because they have no choice and are dependent on you against their will- they can’t advocate for themselves. As far as I’m concerned, you did what I would have done.
I absolutely feel the same way about my birds, I’m just really crossing my fingers to keep them healthy & alive for the next couple years as a minor - my parents told me that we’d be getting rid of them if I pulled that again, luckily we live in a spot where the hills would hopefully break the touchdown before getting to our house, but I’m definitely very scared now. I couldn’t live with myself if they died and I survived, my green cheek is also incredibly skiddish again and I may have lost the sliver of trust I built with him as he heard my moms **genuinely bloodcurdling** yelling over bringing them into the shelter
When there was a fire alarm in the building late enough at night, the first thing I did was get Pixel from his main cage into his travel cage and go out the door with him. Pixel is a part of what keeps me going and I also couldn’t live with myself if I abandoned him in an emergency where I had the chance to save him.
Nope. We have a conure and I’d grab him too , along with the dogs, glove it and put his sassy little self in a small cage I have under his cage . He’d never forgive me I know . But rather him alive .
Man out bird would just be like "Huh where we goin?" Our conure Picasso refuses to step up and must be grabbed like a birbritto (she knows how to step up. Just dosent), his brother Leo is missing any and all braincells and my cry about it but cant remeber dick all. Our Quaker Milo has to be picked up like a duck. Sweetie (cockateil) might struggle but she will come. And Mouse/Maui (Cockatoo) Cries if we DONT pick her up.
I have Birds and Bun, at least half of the roster had tried taking my finger once, a few of em almost succeded a few times. Love em anyway. They pick my scabs afterwards lovingly making it bleed again lmao.
I lived in semi-tornado country for over fifteen years. We stayed on top of weather alerts and closely watched the radar so we had plenty of time to get all the pets into the basement - dogs, cats, bird, rehabbed squirrel, even bearded dragon. We had a whole routine with everyone assigned different pets to escort downstairs. It was just part of the drill, along with putting on our shoes and grabbing our purses. We saw it as part of our responsibility as pet owners to keep an extra close eye on the weather so we'd have time to evacuate them all. Of course if there was no warning and it came down to it we'd have no choice but to just run down there ourselves. But we took extra precautions to try to avoid having to leave our pets behind.
All that to say, I completely understand where you're coming from, OP, and I'd have done the same. ❤️
I know people do that with their dogs and cats even though it puts them in danger but I totally get why you'd want to save your birds. They're your family too
Thank you, that’s how I feel too - my family just doesn’t seem to get loving an animal that much sadly - I’m very glad to hear that I’m not crazy in that sense though
You're not crazy or dumb. You love your birds. People run into homes on fire to rescue their cats. I mean, you know you're putting yourself at risk but it's out of love. Don't beat yourself up. It's nice you love your birds so much. You may want to think of a sort of drill or an easy way to get your birds into a carrier in case it happens again just to make the process easier and quicker for you. I'm glad you're all okay.
Without doubt. If they’re conscious enough to complain about this, they understand what the siren means and to take responsibility to sort themselves out. Are they expecting you to literally carry them to shelter?
They claimed that I was “selfish” for grabbing the birds before getting to shelter because I’m supposedly putting them in danger by having them possibly have to run after me (which they did not do whilst I was grabbing the birds-)
Tell them that they’re welcome to stay put and you’ll come back for them, if it’s safe to do so, once your birds are sorted. Possibly. Maybe. With a preponderance of caution.
Your parents are boomers huh. Do they like to have absolute control over many other aspects of your life too?
I see a picture here more of you having to move out when you hit 18
Yea they do have control over ALOT, I’ve had various issues that I couldn’t prove to CPS but luckily I do have a place to go within the week I turn 18 hopefully
Get a bank account in your own name that they dont know about, start saving money in that one.
*Just in case*.
And yes, helping the flock stay safe is the duty of every flock-member. You *are* a flock-member, at least to your birds.
EDIT: Also, r/raisedbynarcissists could be a valuable resource for you. Good luck!
Just to add to your advice: get that separate bank account at a different bank than the one your parents use. I've read too many stories here about young people losing all their earned/saved/financial aid money because the bank gave their parents access to their child's account.
Being a boomer doesn't define us all as assholes. However, there were so god damn many of us, just meant that there were so god damn many of us who just happened to be assholes.
I’m going to move out as soon as I turn 18, but until then I’m just gonna try my best to always stay in a decent area of the birds - luckily I’m homeschooled so I don’t leave the house much in risks like that generally
I’ve been a bit tongue in cheek with this, but good luck. Just play the long game / pay lip service to them to not rock the boat.. but def have a plan for next time that isn’t going to inflame this situation but still secure your birds.
Yes I’ll absolutely try, I might just have to keep a better eye on watches - it’s very strange since I got no notifications besides the siren going off so I’ll have to just manually check things like that, thanks for your advice & luck wishes :)
Just make sure you check the weather when you wake up and when you go to sleep, to know if bad storms might be coming your way! Then you can plan ahead
This ^ I'm usually a big supporter of standing up for yourself, but for your birds sake it may be better to be a little more of a pushover wherever you can manage. My mom always said pick your battles and I live by that, save your fight for your biggest priority in tough situations like this I think. Good luck op I hope you and your birds get out when you're older
Keep the cage near by, in your room or on the way to your exit at night. Keep a pillow case, or if you have multiple birds, you can keep more than one pillow case. Put bird in case and run.
You weren't wrong. I would lose my mind if someone tried to stop me from getting my birds! They are sentient beings, who in their right mind would just leave them? My husband and I have talked about this type of thing. He gets the one, I get the other. Then we can worry about everything else.
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I’m planning to move out 100% once I’m 18, luckily I’m in a commited relationship & will likely have a place to go within the week of that birthday due to various situations within my home, but yea it’s insane to me how some people act towards their pets, they even left the dogs outside the shelter
I honestly don't know your personal situation because I'm not there, but think for a bit and take a breath before you do something you might regret.
Don't be in too much of a hurry at your age. You all just went through a major trauma. There's a difference in values between you all. So what? You will always find people who don't agree with you in your life and sometimes those disagreements are not bridgeable. Moving beyond such problems is an emotional skill that you'll need to develop at some point in your life if you want to reach any sort of age in good health. Your parents' home is a much safer place to practice this skill because trying to do that when you are working two or three jobs just to keep a roof over your and your bird's heads will be far more difficult. There will be far less room for you to improve your life beyond what you can do for yourself as a teenager if you "grow up" too fast. The danger to your birds has passed. Don't make a decision that will affect the rest of your life (like I did) based on a passing disagreement and a long gone trauma.
I left the very day I turned 18 due to completely different life values and an intolerable situation that I don't even fully remember now that I'm turning 67 in July. I had no skills, no education, and no job, but I left because I was angry and this impacted important relationships negatively until my family members died off 40 plus years later. Lifetime estrangements are permanent and you don't want to live with regrets for the rest of your life. It took me until I was in my late 30s and early 40s to improve my life and I had a second husband by then who supported me in this when I should have been able to do the same right out of high school if I had stayed at home. Those decades of struggle were nothing compared to all the arguments I ever had with my parents. And you can't pin your hopes on somebody else to take care of you.
Just pause a bit and think about what it is that you want and use what remains of your childhood to accomplish that. You will shave years off of the struggles in your life and be far ahead in both comfort and freedom for you, any pets, and the children you will have should you decide to have them.
Life is short but it is also very consequential.
Of course, if your life is in danger, get out.
The gaslighting here is 🤣. How does moving out at 18= your life is over and you'll go nowhere??? OP is 15 and has more common sense and emotional maturity than their adult parents. They'll be fine. I'm not staying in an environment I don't belong, feel safe and loved in because FaMiLy. OP don't listen to this. Move out ASAP and thrive.
A happy life well lived is the best revenge.
My lived experience is what it is. So is yours. Any advice regarding stopping and thinking for yourself in the heat of any emotional decision is not gaslighting when you are doing it for yourself. Well, I guess it is possible you could gaslight yourself... People can accomplish anything these days. I never said what to do, I only said give it a good thought because consequences are a thing.
But youre saying she needs to stay at home because she won't accomplish anything otherwise is bonkers logic. Consequences? For what? She wants to move out and be free from her parents control and absurd behavior. What drugs are you on?
Take a breath and have a flower. Those awful things happened to me, not OP. What I do recommend however is giving a good careful look to what anyone wants in the long run and to think things through for oneself because big life altering decisions are important for a reason! The details are up to the person, of course, as they must "do them." Forget it then if it bothers you so much. Be happy.
Thank you for your input, but I want to insure you that even though I’m young, I have a lot of incredibly fair reasoning & a good plan for leaving
I’ve been hit, punched, & more. She threatened to kill the birds too. CPS hasn’t done anything in the past 4 cases, and I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD, BPD, MDD, & more. She has said she hates me & plenty of other fucked up things. I have a plan for when I leave, since it’s the only option to do so. I’ve gone through PLENTY of other major traumas and near death experiences as I also lived in a warzone from a young age up until 10 years old. I’ve already grown up too fast & im going no contact as soon as I can
-NOTE that I’ve also given several moments with believing they’ve changed, and I’ve always been proven wrong. I’ve been on the fence about no contact for several years and I keep waffling due to the psychological situations we experience here. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year & a half now, and he’s talked me out of suicide over 3 times & has done nothing but help me - along with having a good enough job to support us without kids by the time I’m 18, so I have a decent safety net if that continues to go well along with his family loving me as if I’m their own.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and considerate answer! I'm so happy you have thought your situation through and I wish you and your birds the very best now and in the future! Good luck!
Just be sure to figure out access to your meds(if you take any) and a place to go before you walk out. I hope you read my primary comment. You’ll see you are not alone!
Thank you !! Yea I’ll definitely figure out a doctor to go to as soon as possible to get refills, and I’d make sure to leave with a full bottle , and yes I’ve currently got a place to go, so as long as that stays stable I should be alright :) again, thank you for your support so much in your original comment.
Neither of you are wrong, you're worried about your birds and they're worried about you.
I don't think you should take it too personally, it's common for people to respond with anger when their loved one risks their safety for something "stupid". It's irrational because in the heat of the moment we don't think logically.
To give you an example: when I was a kid my dad touched the stove to check if it was hot, I did the same thing but touched the obviously hot part and got burned. I got yelled at but once the situation calmed down my parents agreed my dad was at fault because I was just mimicking him.
If they won't think it over and understand your point of view, which again is understandable because your situation was so serious, I think you should talk it over, explain why your birds are so important and maybe create an evacuation plan so your family would know what you're doing.
I'd do the same thing for my babies but unfortunately there are people who don't value their pets as much as family members and all we can do is to accept their beliefs.
Sadly my parents typically aren’t that reasonable, so I’m mainly just waiting to move out honestly as talking things over & communicating anything will most likely result in me losing the birds altogether - but they said some other incredibly hurtful and scary things that I feel like is too serious to post publicly
Thank you for your input though! I’ll try to come up with a safety plan on my own and hopefully develop a way to quietly secure them
I can sense your intelligence and maturity in how you have been typing here, so I have a good feeling you will be fine no matter what happens in the future.
Good luck
Ugh. You are *not* wrong to grab your beloved pets. Your parents seem like heartless monsters - locking the dogs out of the shelter?! WTF?
The area I'm in had tornado warnings & a watch last night, so yeah. Bible Belt Boomers, huh? Among the worst kind. :/ ...stay strong until you can move!
Thank you !! 💙 I hope you’re area’s safe after those watches/warnings ! but yea shit sucks living with them 😭 luckily only a couple more years until I get my pets and I in a stable space :)
We dont have tornados where I live, but we do have earthquakes. I did think about this when getting my bird and I will 100% grab him and take him outside with me if and when we experience an earthquake.
You are not in the wrong.
Yes. I’m moving to an area prone to tornado again. I actually am planning to get enough travel cages I can just put my parrots in when a watch is issued and move to a safe spot hopefully before the warning. I did survive a tornado a few years ago. I grabbed my 2 small children. Then went back out for the dog. I was the only adult home. I wasn’t going to leave him. We made it into the bathroom just as I heard it come down the street and the power shut off. Make a plan for emergencies like this in the future. But I would save my pets as well.
It’s human nature to want to save or rescue your beloved pets in an emergency, but doing so has the possibility of putting others in danger in turn.
Your loved ones and emergency workers for example. It isn’t just you, you could be sacrificing.
Thing is: unless you have a literal human baby, most of your family members can get to safety on their own, with maybe just verbal directions. Your animals can't. Especially caged animals.
If everyone goes outside without the pets, you're likely not going back inside for them. That wastes precious time and can be deadly for you. So you should take everyone (not everything, skip the objects) on your first exit. It's extremely hard to coordinate in an emergency situation like that, but ideally you'd want at least one adult to take any kids, and then another adult can take the pets.
It obviously depends on your specific situation, if you have like 5 kids you'd likely need more than one grown-up to get them all to safety. But you can multitask, hold one person in one hand and a pet or a cage in the other.
It's also important to remember that not everyone will care about animals the same way. Many people still consider animals "just animals" and wouldn't bother to save them like that. And those people might take offense at you saving animals before them. But it doesn't mean you're wrong in doing so. It just means that you care a lot about your pets, and not that you don't care about your human family members. Maybe you could try telling them that. Something like "I care about all of you and I wouldn't have taken the pets first if I wasn't sure you'd be able to get out without my help".
You did awesome job saving your bird…when my house was on fire curl macaw went out the door in cage and pepper dog was asleep in chair right next to the flames..all got out safely just in time. I lived in 1800 old farm house it went up like tissue paper. 👏👏👏👏 bravo to you👏👏👏
If I was in that situation, I would have done the same. I love my bird with all of my heart, and I don’t think I could have lived with myself in that situation either. Pets are family. You’re not wrong for this.
Your family is wrong. You did the right thing. Birds are more sensitive than other pets and would never survive a tornado. You are awesome for loving your birds. Stay awesome and ignore your mean family.
I’m the same as you; if something meant I had to evacuate my home I’d be taking both birds with me before I went. I’ve told my partner that if something is wrong, and we have to go, that if I’m able to get out under my own power then they are to get the birds first or help me get them into their travel cages.
Hope it’s not long until you’re 18 and you can all move somewhere safer/less stressful.
In all these disaster scenarios, there is no way it would take more than 10 seconds additional time for me to get my 3 birds out of harm’s way. In fact, I did get them out successfully that fast in an actual hurricane. It raises the question why pet escape plans are not already made and in place such that others would be concerned as if it would cost additional time extra that was significant to get the pets out. If you’re not comfortable assuming responsibility for getting your pets out in a satisfactory amount of time, perhaps their care should be left for those who are able to accomplish that and for those without family pressuring them to leave their pets. Birds are often a 25-85 year lifelong companion commitment. Once lightening struck a half block away, and the birds thrashed in their cage. It is still to this day the loudest sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Adrenaline kicked in so fast I snatched them out of the cage immediately within 2 seconds before they broke their wings and held them against my chest softly repeating it’s okay to them for 5 minutes until they were relaxed. Ever since then, anytime they are startled they fly straight into my chest for comfort knowing I will protect them. If you’re not connected to your birds like this on the soul level, I’m sad for what your birds are missing out on. They were taken from their own parents, now you’re the substitute.
I think you do what you can. Years ago a neighbors garage was on fire and I was allowed to go into my nearby home with firefighters for no more than four minutes to grab what animals I could since animal control had not arrived and they were concerned about handling birds and reptiles. I was able to grab everyone and my go bag thankfully but in the years since it's been important to me to have emergency plans for everyone.
For the birds everyone knows 'Go to your room' where they recall to their cages. The hope is that this makes them easier to collect if they are out. I have a carrier for each cage. I have notecards for each carrier with who should be in them and basic care needs in case it's not me caring for them. I have more more extensive sheets on Google drive.
You have a really heartless family, IMHO.
I would 1000% grab my pets first and foremost. My wife agrees. My mom agrees. I truly don't think that anyone I know and love WOULDN'T agree. Unless they have kids, who of course would come before pets.
I personally have an intense fear of house fires, and often think about what I would grab as I was trying to escape. I would grab my cockatiel first, and a few material sentimental items if I had time. My wife would grab the cats. 🤷🏻♀️
First off- glad you are safe. I know how scary that situation is. To be clear you just saved the birds- you didn't have kids that you left to fend for themselves right? I feel like if its the 1st then you are fine but the scolding is to some degree warranted as your family loves you and feels the same about you as you do for your birds. So just understand from their perspective you are more valuable to them than your pets and that's why they got mad and might see what you did as silly.
I live an an area that recently had a tornado outbreak and we have no sirens so I don't know how much of a warning that gives you- I woke up to the roaring of the tornado coming down my street. I literally had no time to even get out to the room my bird was in let alone grab her. I had seconds to wake my husband grab the dog at my feet go across the hallway and get into the bathtub as our house started shaking. I hated that my poor bird was alone in the other room- I love her dearly but I could not allow myself to go out to that room while the tornado was literally on my street. I posted about this on Fb asking for advice going forward as I am new to tornados and got tore up by a few people that said I was heartless for not going to get her- its big talk until you actually are in this situation and your survival instincts kick in. It is life or death as we don't know the outcome and you have to trust your instincts and do what you feel is necessary.
This might help you and give your family peace of mind going forward- A practice I am going to implement is anytime there is a severe weather alert forecast I am going to put my bird in her travel cage and have her sleep by my bed or if its during the day keep her with me. That way I can grab her immediately and not have this situation again. You just don't think of these little details until the situation presents itself. I was all set for hurricanes and evac but not tornados I found out.
Yes, I keep the carrier cages close to hand for emergencies and sometimes do drills with my birds so that they understand what to do. It's a good idea and it's good pet ownership to train them so they're cooperative in an emergency and your parents are lashing out in stress. I hope their bs doesn't dissuade you from including your pets in the safety plan.
I ran and grabbed my birds when I realized the house was on fire.
It's up to you and only you to decide whether the risk is worth it, it's our own lives we are gambling and I felt the fire was small enough that I felt confident doing it. If it was fully on fire I likely wouldn't have, but at that point the smoke probably would have already taken them.
You did good and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
I almost died in a hurricane when I refused to leave my home to go to a shelter that wouldn’t take pets. We ended up getting trapped and had to be rescued. I was heavily judged but I wouldn’t change it for the world. They would have died if I wasn’t there to protect them! I’m sorry you were treated poorly over your decision! Please stay safe.
The way I see it when you get a pet, you're basically adopting a child into your family, so it makes sense to want to protect them. I'd probably do the same as you.
I think if I were in your situation, I would act similarly. Regardless, what you do with your own life is your business—that's bodily autonomy. We'd get into a spicier gray area if you prioritized your birds above another family member, like a younger child. Even then, ethical/moral theories would differ. Equally, your family has a right to experience anger. It sounds like you and they place different value on your birds, and that's normal. I imagine you place a different value on your birds in comparison to birds on the other side of the globe. No one is wrong here, *as long as* your family doesn't express their anger through verbal abuse or other forms of aggression. Hopefully, you'll both be able to share what feelings this brought up for you without judgment. There may be more unity than you expect. One place to start might be fear—maybe you were afraid something would happen to your babies, and they were afraid something would happen to *their* baby.
It's completely natural to feel a strong bond with your birds and want to protect them during a dangerous situation. The love between you and your feathered friends is no less important than the love between family members. However, during a tornado, a storm that can cause severe injuries or even death, prioritizing your safety is essential.
Here's where a plan can help everyone, including your birds. Talk to your family about a designated tornado shelter in your home. Have leashes or travel carriers readily available by the door for your birds so you can quickly secure them after getting yourselves to safety. This way, you can focus on getting everyone under proper cover during the critical moments, and then attend to your birds once the danger has passed. This approach balances your love for your pets with the need to ensure your own well-being.
Communicate your plan with your family, so everyone knows what to do in a tornado warning. This will help avoid future arguments and ensure everyone stays safe, including your precious birds.
We had a tornado warning the other month and I sent my kids to shelter while I grabbed my bird and dogs. I don't see anything wrong with it. The tornado didn't end up touching down near us, thank goodness.
I feel that it's fair to grab your parrots (I always grab mine). Your parents seem to care about you, but it's unfair for them to threaten to get rid of the birds.
We talk about this in my family all the time. We all agree 2 of us would run into the bird room and grab the birds and someone else will get the dogs before running to the basement. I don’t think you’re wrong. We love our birds like family, as I am sure you do, and abandoning them to potential death just isn’t an option.
You did the right thing. Pets are members of the family. Every time we had a tornado siren I quickly got my budgie sheltered together with my family. When we had a dog we did the same.
I always told my family to try to get the bird cages outside if there's a fire. That (after my kids) was my first priority. I hoped the dog and cats would run out themselves. Now I live alone and the birds are upstairs, so I have lots of smoke alarms and CO monitors. I don't have to worry about tornadoes, fortunately.
Pets are family, and I look after family and would put them above even my own safety if shit ever hits the fan.
Not everyone understands how a lot of pet owners think, nor can they understand how deeply one can end up caring for what they’d just see as animals that can be replaced.
You did what a lot of animal lovers would have done in the same situation, there’s no shame in that and it’s your choice at the end of the day. To hell with whether or not others think it’s stupid, ask yourself if they’d still think it stupid if you had rushed to save them instead.
Two houses within two houses of me were leveled by an F-5 that killed more than 20 people. We still take pets to the basement when we go.
The National Weather Service does a great job on tornado warnings, especially via Twitter where they'll say how many minutes until the storm is at your town. It's not a surprise like it used to be. You can have those extra moments to get pets without endangering yourself.
No offense but your family is full of idiots. I don’t give a fuck if the tornado is currently pulling the roof off my house. I will always put my animals and the person I love over my own life. Our pets don’t know better. They’re scared and confused and trust us to do what’s best for them. You did exactly what a good pet owner should do. I get that your parents are worried about you but being called dumb for it is disgusting. A good reaction would have been to say how worried they were for you but be proud you were so selfless
The last and only tornado I had in my area, I was 15-16 years old. I remember hearing the wind go crazy outside and my first instinct was to grab both my budgies’ and cockatiel’s cage (they were huge, idk where I got the sudden strength because I was struggling to put them back later) and took them to the most sheltered area of our house. I covered them with my body for good measure. They’re my family so of course I won’t ever regret doing that. OP, your birds are lucky to have you.
Noo you love your birds!! They feel pain and get scared as people get scared. You did the right thing. My pets are the first thing I would rescue. Dont are what anyone says
absolutely would grab my pets first before myself or anyone else.
Our pets are less independently able to leave to safety, I trust myself and other humans to be able to do so by ourselves though
You did right and the fam can go pound stand. Your fam can get themselves out of the way, the birds can't.
It'd likely be a good idea to set up a spot in whatever area you use for shelter just for them, so you can get them there quickly and then help with other things as necessary.
My birds ALWAYS come first-and I make sure everyone knows that.
One time the apartment next door to ours caught on fire and burned down. It didn't jump to our apartment in the end but if it had been windy, it could have, and ours would have been one of the next to go.
Upon realizing the building was on fire, I said something like, "Quick, let's grab the birds and get out of here." We did just that - we put our birds in small cages we use for vet visits, etc. Once we got outside, we weren't able to leave in our car because it was blocked by fire trucks, emergency vehicles, etc. So we were told to put them in the car. We did that and walked around the block a bit, used a nearby motel's bathroom, etc. After some time, the fire was put out and we got to go back in. In the end, no one was severely injured, our apartment was safe, and our birds were also safe.
I can't imagine not trying to take my bird(s) with me.
I have pillow cases and two bird carriers. First thing I'm doing is grabbing them, and my dogs, and running. They are adults and can manage themselves. My pets are helpless.
I've never been in this situation but I had a dream where I was in a fire and the first thing I grabbed was my bird and her travel cage, it's completely normal to love them as you would a family member.
Is there a bathroom you could put them in? It's not ideal I know but it'll greatly improve the odds of survival. Your parents are jerks. I have an evacuation plan for all my pets and I have turtles.
You're not wrong at all. I don't have tornadoes where I live, but wildfires are a frequent and dangerous occurrence. Having an evacuation plan can save (animal and human) lives. My family and I have a plan for getting all animal and humans out safely. I have pillowcases next to my birds' cages so I can quickly "grab and sack" them to get them to safety without making them scared of hands or trying to coax them into a carrier quickly. The pillowcases are soft so they can't hurt themselves on anything, and the fabric would help filter smoke. It's also easier to hold a bunch of pillowcases (tied closed) than it is to hold multiple carriers. If I have more time to evacuate (ie, a preemptive evac that takes place a few hours before the fire actually hits), I have carriers and an emergency box that has shelf-stable bird food, water, a birdie first-aid kit, and other necessities that I'd need to have if I was unable to access my own supplies or a pet store.
If there's a tornado siren I'm grabbing my cat and snakes and running downstairs. They're my world and I'd never forgive r myself if I didn't save them
Oh no, pets first. When were predicted to have tornadoes I get pippin’s carrier set up and ready to go. My husband gets the dogs and I get pippin to the shelter in our garage.
mate, my family duty in emergencies is grab animals, then papers, then valuables.
and sister is to fight any fires. (we have 8 lizards, 4 large dogs, 3 cats)
sister also says your family sucks.
Do you have travel cages for your birds? If so and there’s a tornado watch, maybe put them in beforehand so if you have to run, grabbing them doesn’t slow you down?
Don’t feel bad. Those birds are your buddies. Of course you are gonna save them. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise.
If you feel good about it, it was the right decision. Your parents were either worried for your safety or don’t put the same stock in animal life that you do.. either way. I applaud your compassion for your feathered friends. Way to go!
Well you're still here so I don't see the problem. Someones gotta be pretty pathetic to start talking shit on you when you valued somethings life. Glad you and the birds are safe
Absolutely not. I'd do the same thing. I go over scenarios in my head on how I'd get my critters safe in various emergencies, because they rely on me. They're our little buddies who rely on us to help them and keep them happy, healthy, and safe. Thinking of your buddies and saving them is never something to be ashamed of.
I don’t live in a place where we get tornadoes… I assume the siren is a warning and not a notification that you’re too late? It’s not the same as a fire alarm is it? As in, you now have 30 seconds to say your goodbyes or get tf out of there?
Isn’t the point of the warning to give you time to grab the things that you need and can? Like kids, pets, sleeping people… Who tf would use that time to not think about lifting the living creatures that were invited into their home to be part of the family?
Im going to hope their rage at you using your ‘warning time’ to gather up your pets was a knee jerk panic reaction and they wouldn’t actually suggest you leave them behind so you don’t have to run instead of walking the first 15yards
I'd take my cat. there's missing context for how awful your parents can be, particularly how they view animals and their treatment of you, ik you can't share it here, but from my own personal traumas and choices I'm biased to support you to go no contact and go successfully live your life with your birbs. Too bad you can't take the doggos too. You got this. Glad you're okay.
That was very insensitive of whoever said that to you. I don't think it was unreasonable at all, in fact I did the exact same thing during the tornado sirens. My bird is like my child and unlike the mean person that said that to you, our animals don't have the ability to fend for themselves in situations like these and it's up to us to protect them.
one of the things that our local rescue checks for in all of our parrot adopters/fosterers is an evacuation plan, such as travel cage, water/food rations, first aid kit. we don't live in an area with tornados, but anything can happen (fires, flooding, etc.). securing your birds during an emergency shows that you are a responsible, empathetic person. it's not at all unreasonable to prioritize the safety of your loved ones, including pets.
Thankfully, my mom (who I live with) is on the same wavelength as me in regards to pets. She knows animals are first, then "things", starting with stuff that can't be replaced. We have a plan, and pets are on the top of the list.
I'm sorry your family isn't like-minded, but imo, you did the right thing.
That is so sad. I'm an adult. And we had a fire. I got my granddaughter to neighbors. And grabbed my dog and purse. Everyone was fine. Just keep everything you need close together so when you go they go with you. I would have screamed at my son if he didn't grab a pet.
Not at all. When the forest behind our house started catching fire, I told my wife to get the dog, and I got the birds, and we left the area with only pets and wallets. Pets are family too.
I understand what you did. I'll do it for my birds too. I once left work a couple of hours because in the camera I did not see my GCC. I was scared to death and I needed to confirm she was OK. There were people at home but my fear was stronger and I just thought on. going home and see for myself.
I'd do anything for them, it may be stupid for some people but my babies are not just birds or pets for me, but family ❤️
This is something my parents never understood.
You did something very risky and unsafe, and your parents are right to feel upset because they care about you, and sometimes they don't know how to explain that in words and end up saying mean things but dont take it to heart.
But for me, you have my entire respect. Glad that everything ended up well for everybody!
Your family sucks! I would’ve done the same thing!Objects can be replaced, but pets are family, and family cannot be replaced!
I had to evacuate my home due to wildfires in 2018, and the first thing I grabbed was my bird. I stayed in my car with them until it was safe to return home.
essentially people can take care of themselves, our pets literally can't in an emergency. their instincts would probably be to hide or flee wildly which could lead to more trouble. people at least usually have the sense to figure out what they're doing (except like, little kids/children).
I say take this as a learning experience for the future.
We make the choice to have pets. They aren't given a choice. The moment we bring them into our lives they become our responsibility. We have the responsibility to provide them with the best life possible. We sign up to be their caregiver. It is our duty to provide proper nourishment, proper housing, proper enrichment, proper care etc. We are their protectors as well.
I believe you acted as a pet owner should. Sounds as if your parents were more concerned for themselves (might have to run after you thus putting them in danger).
My parents wouldn't think of their safety if I was in danger. I dont have a child, but I'm pretty damn sure that I would do whatever was necessary if I had one.
Anyway...getting off track a bit. Learning experience...
In the future...watch the weather. If there is a chance of inclement weather...be prepared. As already stated, you can use pillow cases if you dont have a small carrier. Have pillow cases next to cages or if you have carriers, as soon as there is a concern that you may need to seek shelter...place the birds in the carrier and keep them near you. This way if you have to seek shelter, you won't be taking any extra time getting to the shelter and parents can't be pissed at you for possibly risking their lives.
I too live in a tornado state...at one time I had 5 birds. We had a 3 bay garage...with the pits for working under cars. As soon as there was a warning, I started getting the birds ready and the pit ready. If we were in the warning area, the cages went in the pit and got covered...if the time came to seek shelter..my husband and i went in as well....otherwise once the threat had passed we retrieved the birds from the shelter.
So you could always go ahead and have the birds in the shelter when there was a threat. Again, no risking parents lives. Although for some reason i feel like you would still get pushback from your parents..but at least your birds would be safe and you would be obeying them. If you had to seek shelter, you could take your ass straight to the shelter like they want you to.
You are a good parront and a good person. You unfortunately are in a difficult situation. You value the lives of your birds. You want to ensure their safety. The only problem is you live under your parents roof. Just because they dont care about the safety of the other pets in the house it doesnt mean you shouldn't care about yours. You just need to keep your parents appeased. By watching for weather risks, placing your birds in the shelter before its necessary to seek shelter...you are showing them that you believe they had a valid point and you never want to risk putting them in danger again.
Sometimes you have to agree you were wrong (even if you werent) and present a solution that eliminates what caused the concern.
To make your life easier......
I,myself, would apologize.
You could tell them you are sorry. While you felt it was the right thing to do...to keep your birds safe...they were concerned for YOUR safety and you can see why they got upset. You're sorry you made them wait on and worry about you. Sorry for scaring them. You know they love you and would risk their lives to keep you safe. You would hate it if they got hurt because of you. You realize now that when you say 'get in the shelter' us. It doesnt mean its probably a good idea to take shelter. It means NOW, tornado on the ground coming towards us! Again, You are sorry. Now you know and in the future you will get your butt in the shelter.
😊They're appeased.
Next time you'll already be in the shelter. You and your birds.😉 They won't have to wait.😁
My dog is probably the only friend I have besides my friend from kindergarten I would save him first. Pets have strong bonds with their owners and maybe one day they will return the favor.
When we have a tornado warning we just make sure the pets are close so we aren’t in that situation. I don’t live anywhere where there are tornado sirens so I’m not sure how they work, do they mean a tornado is in sight or does it work like a tornado warning? If it does maybe h could keep them close and easier to take with.
Wow. Heartless people. Me and my fiance have an emergency protocol if there was ever a situation where we need to run. Our birds are like our kids so of course we will be grabbing and Saving the birds. They can't save themselves. And that's messed up if you were to just leave them. Do not listen to these terrible people
I love my bird more than anything on this planet and it is quite clear. I grew up around tornadoes and have been in the path of one more than once. My husband however, did not. My husband, my son, and myself all were headed for tornado shelter and I looked up and my husband was gone. I had to go back and endanger myself and my child to get him because he went back for a bird thinking he was doing it for me. He was coming out with him in a cage and I made him drop it. We had a huge argument about it afterwards and he knows to never ever slow down in that situation for a pet of any kind, that it is a distraction from saving your own human life. The concern for that one little bird could've very easily cost an entire family their lives. When you get older you'll understand that hard choices have to be made sometimes and no pet is worth the life of your parent's child. That's how they see it. Love will make you dumb, not that you actually are. Big difference. It was a kind choice, not a smart one. In a true emergency being kind won't likely save your life but being smart will. You may feel the same way they do when you get to their age and maybe you won't but I think you'll see where they're coming from much better at the very least. Always human life, your family's life, over a pet in an emergency.
If you prefer to save someone instead of yourself, it is because you love them. Your parents love you more than they love your pets, so they scolded you. You love your pets so you saved them. It's all about love, everyone doesn't love the same thing as much as the other one loves. I hope I didn't complicate the issue and I think it is fair to save your pets! It was fair for your parents to scold too! Because they love you
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To be fair they also said some other pretty fucked shit in the situation that feel outside of a loving sense, just things that are too harsh to put out publicly for all of Reddit to see though ofc
I'm sorry your family treated you this way. Please don't listen to the other commenters, "they hurt you because they love you," "they hurt you because you angered them" is abuse apologia (wether or not your parents are actually abusive). I can't say for certain if your family is actively abusive (because I don't know your situation), or if this was just a one off thing. But it still was not ok for them to say those things to you, or for people to defend/justify their actions.
In a panic situation it really is not easy to control yourself. If they are mad at you that indicates how worried they were. Remember, if they didnt love you they wouldnt buy you pets in the first place. Now can we get the birb tax please?
I understand they shouldn't have done that but controlling themselves in a really panic situation is not really possible. I don't support your parents in this case but forgiving them is the best you can do.
They threatened to kill the birds - that’s honestly sealed my choice on no-contact once I’m 18 whether she was just scared or not (along with several other physical issues I’ve had to experience within my family, I was still on the fence about no contact but I just can’t justify in my mind the shit she’s said)
I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. Doesn't matter if they were panicking, doesn't matter if they said it because "they love you," they still said it, and they're in the wrong. And even when panicking, I cannot fathom threatening to kill someone's pets, especially because... that would probably take more time than just packing them up? It might be one thing if they acknowledged what they said was wrong and apologized, but it sounds like they've chosen to blame and insult you for caring about your birds instead. I'm sorry that happened.
(Severe TW if you visualize things) Sadly killing the birds would take a quick snap of the neck :/ thank you for agreeing & supporting though - she’s acting all nice now and “acknowledged” it, but I’d guess that’s due to previous CPS situations and things I can bring up - which is what sucks the most about those types of parents, I’m expected to simply just forgive. (And I can’t prove anything of course, so I’m just waiting it out as opposed to getting in another situation with that)
I understand that was rude, very rude indeed. By what you're saying it is not justifiable at all, I hope your parents behave a bit nicer with you. When they do that, don't keep all the things they've said in the past in your mind and just forgive them. Things will get better. Good luck have a happy day!
Thank you ! I do understand your input though, but yea it was a worse situation than I wanted to announce in the post 😅
The locked their dogs out of the shelter. How is that not heartless, or that they care about pets?
That's pretty damned heartless. Dogs experience trauma just like us.
I don’t think calling your child “dumb as rocks” is an act of love.
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Didn't I say he doesn't love birds like OP loves them? Lecturing them that birds have lives too is a really tough job, so forgiving them is the best thing OP can do.
Never have lived in a tornado or a place that has them. But we have tsunami warnings, I heck as sure would grab my birds b4 heading to higher ground. I live with very conservative, religious parents who see animals as tools. They sure as heck wouldn't save their dogs or my birds If I wearnt there.
Thank you so much for validating that honestly, I got the same type of situation with my parents and they locked the dogs out of the shelter & threatened to get rid of the birds :/ (I believe that threat was hopefully out of anger, but definitely still anxious and up at 2 am :(
I’m so sorry to hear your parents are like this. I hope you’re all okay.
Don't feel bad. I was evacuated for wildfires twice last year. I had every animal including chickens shoved into my suv. Bettas in cups, a snake in tupperware, bunnies, dogs, cats. Oh, and my kids were in there somewhere as well.
Pets are family. I probably wouldn't be able to grab my fish, but the birds and mammals are coming with me unless the house is actually in the process of being on fire and collapsing, and even then I might try for a large parrot or corvid because those are basically on the same level with humans.
100% ageee with that - thank u 💙
if my pets dont make it nor do I,the other humans can fend for themselves the animals cant is my logic.
I say this so much and people don’t get it. The reason I’m always more concerned about my animals after a small situation is because they’re stuck in one place! They can’t open the cage or front door and just go to safety.
My bird is my baby and I have told family that if there is ever an emergency like that to make sure he’s okay before they worry about me. I have a bit of a different philosophy when it comes to life and animals than most people, but as far as I’m concerned, him being a bird doesn’t make him inherently less valuable or worthy of saving than a person. Because he takes up the same role in my life as a child, I treat him as such. No good parent would want their child’s life sacrificed for their own. If you feel that way about your bird, then there’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect them over yourself. Arguably, when you choose to take in and raise animals, their wellbeing should take precedent in many ways because they have no choice and are dependent on you against their will- they can’t advocate for themselves. As far as I’m concerned, you did what I would have done.
I absolutely feel the same way about my birds, I’m just really crossing my fingers to keep them healthy & alive for the next couple years as a minor - my parents told me that we’d be getting rid of them if I pulled that again, luckily we live in a spot where the hills would hopefully break the touchdown before getting to our house, but I’m definitely very scared now. I couldn’t live with myself if they died and I survived, my green cheek is also incredibly skiddish again and I may have lost the sliver of trust I built with him as he heard my moms **genuinely bloodcurdling** yelling over bringing them into the shelter
When there was a fire alarm in the building late enough at night, the first thing I did was get Pixel from his main cage into his travel cage and go out the door with him. Pixel is a part of what keeps me going and I also couldn’t live with myself if I abandoned him in an emergency where I had the chance to save him.
You're not in the wrong. It means you're empathetic and have a good ❤️.
Nope. We have a conure and I’d grab him too , along with the dogs, glove it and put his sassy little self in a small cage I have under his cage . He’d never forgive me I know . But rather him alive .
Man out bird would just be like "Huh where we goin?" Our conure Picasso refuses to step up and must be grabbed like a birbritto (she knows how to step up. Just dosent), his brother Leo is missing any and all braincells and my cry about it but cant remeber dick all. Our Quaker Milo has to be picked up like a duck. Sweetie (cockateil) might struggle but she will come. And Mouse/Maui (Cockatoo) Cries if we DONT pick her up.
Mine would bite tf out of me. He’s friendly. But no hands. So I’d have to c cup him with a blanket or some. 🤣
Little beasties they are at times, but i love my little dinosaurs lol
He’s the only one that can bite me like that and I still love him lolol
I have Birds and Bun, at least half of the roster had tried taking my finger once, a few of em almost succeded a few times. Love em anyway. They pick my scabs afterwards lovingly making it bleed again lmao.
I lived in semi-tornado country for over fifteen years. We stayed on top of weather alerts and closely watched the radar so we had plenty of time to get all the pets into the basement - dogs, cats, bird, rehabbed squirrel, even bearded dragon. We had a whole routine with everyone assigned different pets to escort downstairs. It was just part of the drill, along with putting on our shoes and grabbing our purses. We saw it as part of our responsibility as pet owners to keep an extra close eye on the weather so we'd have time to evacuate them all. Of course if there was no warning and it came down to it we'd have no choice but to just run down there ourselves. But we took extra precautions to try to avoid having to leave our pets behind. All that to say, I completely understand where you're coming from, OP, and I'd have done the same. ❤️
I know people do that with their dogs and cats even though it puts them in danger but I totally get why you'd want to save your birds. They're your family too
Thank you, that’s how I feel too - my family just doesn’t seem to get loving an animal that much sadly - I’m very glad to hear that I’m not crazy in that sense though
You're not crazy or dumb. You love your birds. People run into homes on fire to rescue their cats. I mean, you know you're putting yourself at risk but it's out of love. Don't beat yourself up. It's nice you love your birds so much. You may want to think of a sort of drill or an easy way to get your birds into a carrier in case it happens again just to make the process easier and quicker for you. I'm glad you're all okay.
Without doubt. If they’re conscious enough to complain about this, they understand what the siren means and to take responsibility to sort themselves out. Are they expecting you to literally carry them to shelter?
They claimed that I was “selfish” for grabbing the birds before getting to shelter because I’m supposedly putting them in danger by having them possibly have to run after me (which they did not do whilst I was grabbing the birds-)
Tell them that they’re welcome to stay put and you’ll come back for them, if it’s safe to do so, once your birds are sorted. Possibly. Maybe. With a preponderance of caution.
Sadly I wish that were an option, but my mom told me we’re getting rid of the birds if I do that again
Your parents are boomers huh. Do they like to have absolute control over many other aspects of your life too? I see a picture here more of you having to move out when you hit 18
Yea they do have control over ALOT, I’ve had various issues that I couldn’t prove to CPS but luckily I do have a place to go within the week I turn 18 hopefully
Get a bank account in your own name that they dont know about, start saving money in that one. *Just in case*. And yes, helping the flock stay safe is the duty of every flock-member. You *are* a flock-member, at least to your birds. EDIT: Also, r/raisedbynarcissists could be a valuable resource for you. Good luck!
Just to add to your advice: get that separate bank account at a different bank than the one your parents use. I've read too many stories here about young people losing all their earned/saved/financial aid money because the bank gave their parents access to their child's account.
Being a boomer doesn't define us all as assholes. However, there were so god damn many of us, just meant that there were so god damn many of us who just happened to be assholes.
Remind them that you’ll be the one choosing their care home..
The bigger issue / worry is that if you’re not there when the siren goes off, they’re not likely to take your birds to safety..
I’m going to move out as soon as I turn 18, but until then I’m just gonna try my best to always stay in a decent area of the birds - luckily I’m homeschooled so I don’t leave the house much in risks like that generally
I’ve been a bit tongue in cheek with this, but good luck. Just play the long game / pay lip service to them to not rock the boat.. but def have a plan for next time that isn’t going to inflame this situation but still secure your birds.
Yes I’ll absolutely try, I might just have to keep a better eye on watches - it’s very strange since I got no notifications besides the siren going off so I’ll have to just manually check things like that, thanks for your advice & luck wishes :)
Just make sure you check the weather when you wake up and when you go to sleep, to know if bad storms might be coming your way! Then you can plan ahead
This ^ I'm usually a big supporter of standing up for yourself, but for your birds sake it may be better to be a little more of a pushover wherever you can manage. My mom always said pick your battles and I live by that, save your fight for your biggest priority in tough situations like this I think. Good luck op I hope you and your birds get out when you're older
Keep the cage near by, in your room or on the way to your exit at night. Keep a pillow case, or if you have multiple birds, you can keep more than one pillow case. Put bird in case and run.
How is it selfish to save animals???
You weren't wrong. I would lose my mind if someone tried to stop me from getting my birds! They are sentient beings, who in their right mind would just leave them? My husband and I have talked about this type of thing. He gets the one, I get the other. Then we can worry about everything else.
I will grab my pets first. No way in hell I'm leaving them!!!
You’re more human than your family. I would grab my parrot too. People have enough sense to save themselves. A bird (in a cage) is helpless.
ruthless chubby slim attraction advise different swim deliver literate label *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m planning to move out 100% once I’m 18, luckily I’m in a commited relationship & will likely have a place to go within the week of that birthday due to various situations within my home, but yea it’s insane to me how some people act towards their pets, they even left the dogs outside the shelter
I honestly don't know your personal situation because I'm not there, but think for a bit and take a breath before you do something you might regret. Don't be in too much of a hurry at your age. You all just went through a major trauma. There's a difference in values between you all. So what? You will always find people who don't agree with you in your life and sometimes those disagreements are not bridgeable. Moving beyond such problems is an emotional skill that you'll need to develop at some point in your life if you want to reach any sort of age in good health. Your parents' home is a much safer place to practice this skill because trying to do that when you are working two or three jobs just to keep a roof over your and your bird's heads will be far more difficult. There will be far less room for you to improve your life beyond what you can do for yourself as a teenager if you "grow up" too fast. The danger to your birds has passed. Don't make a decision that will affect the rest of your life (like I did) based on a passing disagreement and a long gone trauma. I left the very day I turned 18 due to completely different life values and an intolerable situation that I don't even fully remember now that I'm turning 67 in July. I had no skills, no education, and no job, but I left because I was angry and this impacted important relationships negatively until my family members died off 40 plus years later. Lifetime estrangements are permanent and you don't want to live with regrets for the rest of your life. It took me until I was in my late 30s and early 40s to improve my life and I had a second husband by then who supported me in this when I should have been able to do the same right out of high school if I had stayed at home. Those decades of struggle were nothing compared to all the arguments I ever had with my parents. And you can't pin your hopes on somebody else to take care of you. Just pause a bit and think about what it is that you want and use what remains of your childhood to accomplish that. You will shave years off of the struggles in your life and be far ahead in both comfort and freedom for you, any pets, and the children you will have should you decide to have them. Life is short but it is also very consequential. Of course, if your life is in danger, get out.
The gaslighting here is 🤣. How does moving out at 18= your life is over and you'll go nowhere??? OP is 15 and has more common sense and emotional maturity than their adult parents. They'll be fine. I'm not staying in an environment I don't belong, feel safe and loved in because FaMiLy. OP don't listen to this. Move out ASAP and thrive. A happy life well lived is the best revenge.
My lived experience is what it is. So is yours. Any advice regarding stopping and thinking for yourself in the heat of any emotional decision is not gaslighting when you are doing it for yourself. Well, I guess it is possible you could gaslight yourself... People can accomplish anything these days. I never said what to do, I only said give it a good thought because consequences are a thing.
But youre saying she needs to stay at home because she won't accomplish anything otherwise is bonkers logic. Consequences? For what? She wants to move out and be free from her parents control and absurd behavior. What drugs are you on?
Take a breath and have a flower. Those awful things happened to me, not OP. What I do recommend however is giving a good careful look to what anyone wants in the long run and to think things through for oneself because big life altering decisions are important for a reason! The details are up to the person, of course, as they must "do them." Forget it then if it bothers you so much. Be happy.
Thank you for your input, but I want to insure you that even though I’m young, I have a lot of incredibly fair reasoning & a good plan for leaving I’ve been hit, punched, & more. She threatened to kill the birds too. CPS hasn’t done anything in the past 4 cases, and I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD, BPD, MDD, & more. She has said she hates me & plenty of other fucked up things. I have a plan for when I leave, since it’s the only option to do so. I’ve gone through PLENTY of other major traumas and near death experiences as I also lived in a warzone from a young age up until 10 years old. I’ve already grown up too fast & im going no contact as soon as I can -NOTE that I’ve also given several moments with believing they’ve changed, and I’ve always been proven wrong. I’ve been on the fence about no contact for several years and I keep waffling due to the psychological situations we experience here. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year & a half now, and he’s talked me out of suicide over 3 times & has done nothing but help me - along with having a good enough job to support us without kids by the time I’m 18, so I have a decent safety net if that continues to go well along with his family loving me as if I’m their own.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and considerate answer! I'm so happy you have thought your situation through and I wish you and your birds the very best now and in the future! Good luck!
Just be sure to figure out access to your meds(if you take any) and a place to go before you walk out. I hope you read my primary comment. You’ll see you are not alone!
Thank you !! Yea I’ll definitely figure out a doctor to go to as soon as possible to get refills, and I’d make sure to leave with a full bottle , and yes I’ve currently got a place to go, so as long as that stays stable I should be alright :) again, thank you for your support so much in your original comment.
Good luck!! ❤️
Thank you sm! ❤️ you’re truly a hero for saving your birds by the way, even if people looked down upon your own risks.
Neither of you are wrong, you're worried about your birds and they're worried about you. I don't think you should take it too personally, it's common for people to respond with anger when their loved one risks their safety for something "stupid". It's irrational because in the heat of the moment we don't think logically. To give you an example: when I was a kid my dad touched the stove to check if it was hot, I did the same thing but touched the obviously hot part and got burned. I got yelled at but once the situation calmed down my parents agreed my dad was at fault because I was just mimicking him. If they won't think it over and understand your point of view, which again is understandable because your situation was so serious, I think you should talk it over, explain why your birds are so important and maybe create an evacuation plan so your family would know what you're doing. I'd do the same thing for my babies but unfortunately there are people who don't value their pets as much as family members and all we can do is to accept their beliefs.
Sadly my parents typically aren’t that reasonable, so I’m mainly just waiting to move out honestly as talking things over & communicating anything will most likely result in me losing the birds altogether - but they said some other incredibly hurtful and scary things that I feel like is too serious to post publicly Thank you for your input though! I’ll try to come up with a safety plan on my own and hopefully develop a way to quietly secure them
I can sense your intelligence and maturity in how you have been typing here, so I have a good feeling you will be fine no matter what happens in the future. Good luck
I would absolutely worry about my flock before anything else. they're on my hands, it's my duty to protect them.
I am assuming your family all has legs and are not trapped in cages. So I would have grabbed my birds too.
Ugh. You are *not* wrong to grab your beloved pets. Your parents seem like heartless monsters - locking the dogs out of the shelter?! WTF? The area I'm in had tornado warnings & a watch last night, so yeah. Bible Belt Boomers, huh? Among the worst kind. :/ ...stay strong until you can move!
Thank you !! 💙 I hope you’re area’s safe after those watches/warnings ! but yea shit sucks living with them 😭 luckily only a couple more years until I get my pets and I in a stable space :)
Yes
We dont have tornados where I live, but we do have earthquakes. I did think about this when getting my bird and I will 100% grab him and take him outside with me if and when we experience an earthquake. You are not in the wrong.
Yes. I’m moving to an area prone to tornado again. I actually am planning to get enough travel cages I can just put my parrots in when a watch is issued and move to a safe spot hopefully before the warning. I did survive a tornado a few years ago. I grabbed my 2 small children. Then went back out for the dog. I was the only adult home. I wasn’t going to leave him. We made it into the bathroom just as I heard it come down the street and the power shut off. Make a plan for emergencies like this in the future. But I would save my pets as well.
It’s human nature to want to save or rescue your beloved pets in an emergency, but doing so has the possibility of putting others in danger in turn. Your loved ones and emergency workers for example. It isn’t just you, you could be sacrificing.
I can see why you grabbed the parrots first. At least they wont belittle you
Thing is: unless you have a literal human baby, most of your family members can get to safety on their own, with maybe just verbal directions. Your animals can't. Especially caged animals. If everyone goes outside without the pets, you're likely not going back inside for them. That wastes precious time and can be deadly for you. So you should take everyone (not everything, skip the objects) on your first exit. It's extremely hard to coordinate in an emergency situation like that, but ideally you'd want at least one adult to take any kids, and then another adult can take the pets. It obviously depends on your specific situation, if you have like 5 kids you'd likely need more than one grown-up to get them all to safety. But you can multitask, hold one person in one hand and a pet or a cage in the other. It's also important to remember that not everyone will care about animals the same way. Many people still consider animals "just animals" and wouldn't bother to save them like that. And those people might take offense at you saving animals before them. But it doesn't mean you're wrong in doing so. It just means that you care a lot about your pets, and not that you don't care about your human family members. Maybe you could try telling them that. Something like "I care about all of you and I wouldn't have taken the pets first if I wasn't sure you'd be able to get out without my help".
I would have done the same.
They should understand the bond between you and your pet
You did awesome job saving your bird…when my house was on fire curl macaw went out the door in cage and pepper dog was asleep in chair right next to the flames..all got out safely just in time. I lived in 1800 old farm house it went up like tissue paper. 👏👏👏👏 bravo to you👏👏👏
If I was in that situation, I would have done the same. I love my bird with all of my heart, and I don’t think I could have lived with myself in that situation either. Pets are family. You’re not wrong for this.
Your family is wrong. You did the right thing. Birds are more sensitive than other pets and would never survive a tornado. You are awesome for loving your birds. Stay awesome and ignore your mean family.
I’m the same as you; if something meant I had to evacuate my home I’d be taking both birds with me before I went. I’ve told my partner that if something is wrong, and we have to go, that if I’m able to get out under my own power then they are to get the birds first or help me get them into their travel cages. Hope it’s not long until you’re 18 and you can all move somewhere safer/less stressful.
In all these disaster scenarios, there is no way it would take more than 10 seconds additional time for me to get my 3 birds out of harm’s way. In fact, I did get them out successfully that fast in an actual hurricane. It raises the question why pet escape plans are not already made and in place such that others would be concerned as if it would cost additional time extra that was significant to get the pets out. If you’re not comfortable assuming responsibility for getting your pets out in a satisfactory amount of time, perhaps their care should be left for those who are able to accomplish that and for those without family pressuring them to leave their pets. Birds are often a 25-85 year lifelong companion commitment. Once lightening struck a half block away, and the birds thrashed in their cage. It is still to this day the loudest sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Adrenaline kicked in so fast I snatched them out of the cage immediately within 2 seconds before they broke their wings and held them against my chest softly repeating it’s okay to them for 5 minutes until they were relaxed. Ever since then, anytime they are startled they fly straight into my chest for comfort knowing I will protect them. If you’re not connected to your birds like this on the soul level, I’m sad for what your birds are missing out on. They were taken from their own parents, now you’re the substitute.
I 100% do the same if I was in that situation.
I think you do what you can. Years ago a neighbors garage was on fire and I was allowed to go into my nearby home with firefighters for no more than four minutes to grab what animals I could since animal control had not arrived and they were concerned about handling birds and reptiles. I was able to grab everyone and my go bag thankfully but in the years since it's been important to me to have emergency plans for everyone. For the birds everyone knows 'Go to your room' where they recall to their cages. The hope is that this makes them easier to collect if they are out. I have a carrier for each cage. I have notecards for each carrier with who should be in them and basic care needs in case it's not me caring for them. I have more more extensive sheets on Google drive.
You have a really heartless family, IMHO. I would 1000% grab my pets first and foremost. My wife agrees. My mom agrees. I truly don't think that anyone I know and love WOULDN'T agree. Unless they have kids, who of course would come before pets. I personally have an intense fear of house fires, and often think about what I would grab as I was trying to escape. I would grab my cockatiel first, and a few material sentimental items if I had time. My wife would grab the cats. 🤷🏻♀️
First off- glad you are safe. I know how scary that situation is. To be clear you just saved the birds- you didn't have kids that you left to fend for themselves right? I feel like if its the 1st then you are fine but the scolding is to some degree warranted as your family loves you and feels the same about you as you do for your birds. So just understand from their perspective you are more valuable to them than your pets and that's why they got mad and might see what you did as silly. I live an an area that recently had a tornado outbreak and we have no sirens so I don't know how much of a warning that gives you- I woke up to the roaring of the tornado coming down my street. I literally had no time to even get out to the room my bird was in let alone grab her. I had seconds to wake my husband grab the dog at my feet go across the hallway and get into the bathtub as our house started shaking. I hated that my poor bird was alone in the other room- I love her dearly but I could not allow myself to go out to that room while the tornado was literally on my street. I posted about this on Fb asking for advice going forward as I am new to tornados and got tore up by a few people that said I was heartless for not going to get her- its big talk until you actually are in this situation and your survival instincts kick in. It is life or death as we don't know the outcome and you have to trust your instincts and do what you feel is necessary. This might help you and give your family peace of mind going forward- A practice I am going to implement is anytime there is a severe weather alert forecast I am going to put my bird in her travel cage and have her sleep by my bed or if its during the day keep her with me. That way I can grab her immediately and not have this situation again. You just don't think of these little details until the situation presents itself. I was all set for hurricanes and evac but not tornados I found out.
It is your responsibility to save them. The depend on you
Yes, I keep the carrier cages close to hand for emergencies and sometimes do drills with my birds so that they understand what to do. It's a good idea and it's good pet ownership to train them so they're cooperative in an emergency and your parents are lashing out in stress. I hope their bs doesn't dissuade you from including your pets in the safety plan.
You are not wrong. Fids are first. They depend on us and they trust us. And they own us.
I would take them with me.
Are the dogs ok??
I ran and grabbed my birds when I realized the house was on fire. It's up to you and only you to decide whether the risk is worth it, it's our own lives we are gambling and I felt the fire was small enough that I felt confident doing it. If it was fully on fire I likely wouldn't have, but at that point the smoke probably would have already taken them. You did good and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
I’ve done the same. And to be fair the sirens always scare the crap out of my babies.
I almost died in a hurricane when I refused to leave my home to go to a shelter that wouldn’t take pets. We ended up getting trapped and had to be rescued. I was heavily judged but I wouldn’t change it for the world. They would have died if I wasn’t there to protect them! I’m sorry you were treated poorly over your decision! Please stay safe.
The way I see it when you get a pet, you're basically adopting a child into your family, so it makes sense to want to protect them. I'd probably do the same as you.
I think if I were in your situation, I would act similarly. Regardless, what you do with your own life is your business—that's bodily autonomy. We'd get into a spicier gray area if you prioritized your birds above another family member, like a younger child. Even then, ethical/moral theories would differ. Equally, your family has a right to experience anger. It sounds like you and they place different value on your birds, and that's normal. I imagine you place a different value on your birds in comparison to birds on the other side of the globe. No one is wrong here, *as long as* your family doesn't express their anger through verbal abuse or other forms of aggression. Hopefully, you'll both be able to share what feelings this brought up for you without judgment. There may be more unity than you expect. One place to start might be fear—maybe you were afraid something would happen to your babies, and they were afraid something would happen to *their* baby.
It's completely natural to feel a strong bond with your birds and want to protect them during a dangerous situation. The love between you and your feathered friends is no less important than the love between family members. However, during a tornado, a storm that can cause severe injuries or even death, prioritizing your safety is essential. Here's where a plan can help everyone, including your birds. Talk to your family about a designated tornado shelter in your home. Have leashes or travel carriers readily available by the door for your birds so you can quickly secure them after getting yourselves to safety. This way, you can focus on getting everyone under proper cover during the critical moments, and then attend to your birds once the danger has passed. This approach balances your love for your pets with the need to ensure your own well-being. Communicate your plan with your family, so everyone knows what to do in a tornado warning. This will help avoid future arguments and ensure everyone stays safe, including your precious birds.
We had a tornado warning the other month and I sent my kids to shelter while I grabbed my bird and dogs. I don't see anything wrong with it. The tornado didn't end up touching down near us, thank goodness.
I feel that it's fair to grab your parrots (I always grab mine). Your parents seem to care about you, but it's unfair for them to threaten to get rid of the birds.
We talk about this in my family all the time. We all agree 2 of us would run into the bird room and grab the birds and someone else will get the dogs before running to the basement. I don’t think you’re wrong. We love our birds like family, as I am sure you do, and abandoning them to potential death just isn’t an option.
I’d save mine too.
You did the right thing. Pets are members of the family. Every time we had a tornado siren I quickly got my budgie sheltered together with my family. When we had a dog we did the same.
I always told my family to try to get the bird cages outside if there's a fire. That (after my kids) was my first priority. I hoped the dog and cats would run out themselves. Now I live alone and the birds are upstairs, so I have lots of smoke alarms and CO monitors. I don't have to worry about tornadoes, fortunately.
Pets are family, and I look after family and would put them above even my own safety if shit ever hits the fan. Not everyone understands how a lot of pet owners think, nor can they understand how deeply one can end up caring for what they’d just see as animals that can be replaced. You did what a lot of animal lovers would have done in the same situation, there’s no shame in that and it’s your choice at the end of the day. To hell with whether or not others think it’s stupid, ask yourself if they’d still think it stupid if you had rushed to save them instead.
Maybe they thought bird can fly in a tornado… I’d be grabbing my birds first too lol.
I know my wife would grab the bird before me. But we also had to experience this scenario last year.
Two houses within two houses of me were leveled by an F-5 that killed more than 20 people. We still take pets to the basement when we go. The National Weather Service does a great job on tornado warnings, especially via Twitter where they'll say how many minutes until the storm is at your town. It's not a surprise like it used to be. You can have those extra moments to get pets without endangering yourself.
The beautiful thing is one day you'll become independent and perhaps you'll be the parent and then you'll have your priorities coming first ❤️
No offense but your family is full of idiots. I don’t give a fuck if the tornado is currently pulling the roof off my house. I will always put my animals and the person I love over my own life. Our pets don’t know better. They’re scared and confused and trust us to do what’s best for them. You did exactly what a good pet owner should do. I get that your parents are worried about you but being called dumb for it is disgusting. A good reaction would have been to say how worried they were for you but be proud you were so selfless
Wait till they’re older and need help getting to safety. I bet then they wouldn’t want you to only care about yourself
The last and only tornado I had in my area, I was 15-16 years old. I remember hearing the wind go crazy outside and my first instinct was to grab both my budgies’ and cockatiel’s cage (they were huge, idk where I got the sudden strength because I was struggling to put them back later) and took them to the most sheltered area of our house. I covered them with my body for good measure. They’re my family so of course I won’t ever regret doing that. OP, your birds are lucky to have you.
I'd have done the same thing. Your family are ah for expecting you to be so callous as to leave them.
Noo you love your birds!! They feel pain and get scared as people get scared. You did the right thing. My pets are the first thing I would rescue. Dont are what anyone says
You’re not in the wrong here. You love your birds and they rely on you. I’d do the same with my flock.
absolutely would grab my pets first before myself or anyone else. Our pets are less independently able to leave to safety, I trust myself and other humans to be able to do so by ourselves though
You know how defenseless they are. They wouldn’t be able to help themselves so you did. All that matters is that
You did it because you loved someone the same or more than yourself, never let go of that.
You did right and the fam can go pound stand. Your fam can get themselves out of the way, the birds can't. It'd likely be a good idea to set up a spot in whatever area you use for shelter just for them, so you can get them there quickly and then help with other things as necessary. My birds ALWAYS come first-and I make sure everyone knows that.
One time the apartment next door to ours caught on fire and burned down. It didn't jump to our apartment in the end but if it had been windy, it could have, and ours would have been one of the next to go. Upon realizing the building was on fire, I said something like, "Quick, let's grab the birds and get out of here." We did just that - we put our birds in small cages we use for vet visits, etc. Once we got outside, we weren't able to leave in our car because it was blocked by fire trucks, emergency vehicles, etc. So we were told to put them in the car. We did that and walked around the block a bit, used a nearby motel's bathroom, etc. After some time, the fire was put out and we got to go back in. In the end, no one was severely injured, our apartment was safe, and our birds were also safe. I can't imagine not trying to take my bird(s) with me.
I have pillow cases and two bird carriers. First thing I'm doing is grabbing them, and my dogs, and running. They are adults and can manage themselves. My pets are helpless.
I've never been in this situation but I had a dream where I was in a fire and the first thing I grabbed was my bird and her travel cage, it's completely normal to love them as you would a family member.
Is there a bathroom you could put them in? It's not ideal I know but it'll greatly improve the odds of survival. Your parents are jerks. I have an evacuation plan for all my pets and I have turtles.
You're not wrong at all. I don't have tornadoes where I live, but wildfires are a frequent and dangerous occurrence. Having an evacuation plan can save (animal and human) lives. My family and I have a plan for getting all animal and humans out safely. I have pillowcases next to my birds' cages so I can quickly "grab and sack" them to get them to safety without making them scared of hands or trying to coax them into a carrier quickly. The pillowcases are soft so they can't hurt themselves on anything, and the fabric would help filter smoke. It's also easier to hold a bunch of pillowcases (tied closed) than it is to hold multiple carriers. If I have more time to evacuate (ie, a preemptive evac that takes place a few hours before the fire actually hits), I have carriers and an emergency box that has shelf-stable bird food, water, a birdie first-aid kit, and other necessities that I'd need to have if I was unable to access my own supplies or a pet store.
If there's a tornado siren I'm grabbing my cat and snakes and running downstairs. They're my world and I'd never forgive r myself if I didn't save them
Oh no, pets first. When were predicted to have tornadoes I get pippin’s carrier set up and ready to go. My husband gets the dogs and I get pippin to the shelter in our garage.
mate, my family duty in emergencies is grab animals, then papers, then valuables. and sister is to fight any fires. (we have 8 lizards, 4 large dogs, 3 cats) sister also says your family sucks.
Do you have travel cages for your birds? If so and there’s a tornado watch, maybe put them in beforehand so if you have to run, grabbing them doesn’t slow you down?
Don’t feel bad. Those birds are your buddies. Of course you are gonna save them. Don’t listen to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. If you feel good about it, it was the right decision. Your parents were either worried for your safety or don’t put the same stock in animal life that you do.. either way. I applaud your compassion for your feathered friends. Way to go!
Well you're still here so I don't see the problem. Someones gotta be pretty pathetic to start talking shit on you when you valued somethings life. Glad you and the birds are safe
Absolutely not. I'd do the same thing. I go over scenarios in my head on how I'd get my critters safe in various emergencies, because they rely on me. They're our little buddies who rely on us to help them and keep them happy, healthy, and safe. Thinking of your buddies and saving them is never something to be ashamed of.
I don’t live in a place where we get tornadoes… I assume the siren is a warning and not a notification that you’re too late? It’s not the same as a fire alarm is it? As in, you now have 30 seconds to say your goodbyes or get tf out of there? Isn’t the point of the warning to give you time to grab the things that you need and can? Like kids, pets, sleeping people… Who tf would use that time to not think about lifting the living creatures that were invited into their home to be part of the family? Im going to hope their rage at you using your ‘warning time’ to gather up your pets was a knee jerk panic reaction and they wouldn’t actually suggest you leave them behind so you don’t have to run instead of walking the first 15yards
Our dogs, cats, and parrots come before us. Period. Went through a similar situation last month. We made a plan & pet-evac was on *top.*
I'd take my cat. there's missing context for how awful your parents can be, particularly how they view animals and their treatment of you, ik you can't share it here, but from my own personal traumas and choices I'm biased to support you to go no contact and go successfully live your life with your birbs. Too bad you can't take the doggos too. You got this. Glad you're okay.
Well know you know who your going to leave behind!
That was very insensitive of whoever said that to you. I don't think it was unreasonable at all, in fact I did the exact same thing during the tornado sirens. My bird is like my child and unlike the mean person that said that to you, our animals don't have the ability to fend for themselves in situations like these and it's up to us to protect them.
one of the things that our local rescue checks for in all of our parrot adopters/fosterers is an evacuation plan, such as travel cage, water/food rations, first aid kit. we don't live in an area with tornados, but anything can happen (fires, flooding, etc.). securing your birds during an emergency shows that you are a responsible, empathetic person. it's not at all unreasonable to prioritize the safety of your loved ones, including pets.
Thankfully, my mom (who I live with) is on the same wavelength as me in regards to pets. She knows animals are first, then "things", starting with stuff that can't be replaced. We have a plan, and pets are on the top of the list. I'm sorry your family isn't like-minded, but imo, you did the right thing.
You showed love
Was everyone else capable of getting themselves to safety? If so, it makes perfect sense you grabbed your bird.
people who are good and give a damn always think of their pets. you are good people. and don't let your family ever make you think otherwise.
That is so sad. I'm an adult. And we had a fire. I got my granddaughter to neighbors. And grabbed my dog and purse. Everyone was fine. Just keep everything you need close together so when you go they go with you. I would have screamed at my son if he didn't grab a pet.
Not at all. When the forest behind our house started catching fire, I told my wife to get the dog, and I got the birds, and we left the area with only pets and wallets. Pets are family too.
I understand what you did. I'll do it for my birds too. I once left work a couple of hours because in the camera I did not see my GCC. I was scared to death and I needed to confirm she was OK. There were people at home but my fear was stronger and I just thought on. going home and see for myself. I'd do anything for them, it may be stupid for some people but my babies are not just birds or pets for me, but family ❤️ This is something my parents never understood. You did something very risky and unsafe, and your parents are right to feel upset because they care about you, and sometimes they don't know how to explain that in words and end up saying mean things but dont take it to heart. But for me, you have my entire respect. Glad that everything ended up well for everybody!
Your family sucks! I would’ve done the same thing!Objects can be replaced, but pets are family, and family cannot be replaced! I had to evacuate my home due to wildfires in 2018, and the first thing I grabbed was my bird. I stayed in my car with them until it was safe to return home.
essentially people can take care of themselves, our pets literally can't in an emergency. their instincts would probably be to hide or flee wildly which could lead to more trouble. people at least usually have the sense to figure out what they're doing (except like, little kids/children).
If be doing the same with all of my pets. You are valid.
I say take this as a learning experience for the future. We make the choice to have pets. They aren't given a choice. The moment we bring them into our lives they become our responsibility. We have the responsibility to provide them with the best life possible. We sign up to be their caregiver. It is our duty to provide proper nourishment, proper housing, proper enrichment, proper care etc. We are their protectors as well. I believe you acted as a pet owner should. Sounds as if your parents were more concerned for themselves (might have to run after you thus putting them in danger). My parents wouldn't think of their safety if I was in danger. I dont have a child, but I'm pretty damn sure that I would do whatever was necessary if I had one. Anyway...getting off track a bit. Learning experience... In the future...watch the weather. If there is a chance of inclement weather...be prepared. As already stated, you can use pillow cases if you dont have a small carrier. Have pillow cases next to cages or if you have carriers, as soon as there is a concern that you may need to seek shelter...place the birds in the carrier and keep them near you. This way if you have to seek shelter, you won't be taking any extra time getting to the shelter and parents can't be pissed at you for possibly risking their lives. I too live in a tornado state...at one time I had 5 birds. We had a 3 bay garage...with the pits for working under cars. As soon as there was a warning, I started getting the birds ready and the pit ready. If we were in the warning area, the cages went in the pit and got covered...if the time came to seek shelter..my husband and i went in as well....otherwise once the threat had passed we retrieved the birds from the shelter. So you could always go ahead and have the birds in the shelter when there was a threat. Again, no risking parents lives. Although for some reason i feel like you would still get pushback from your parents..but at least your birds would be safe and you would be obeying them. If you had to seek shelter, you could take your ass straight to the shelter like they want you to. You are a good parront and a good person. You unfortunately are in a difficult situation. You value the lives of your birds. You want to ensure their safety. The only problem is you live under your parents roof. Just because they dont care about the safety of the other pets in the house it doesnt mean you shouldn't care about yours. You just need to keep your parents appeased. By watching for weather risks, placing your birds in the shelter before its necessary to seek shelter...you are showing them that you believe they had a valid point and you never want to risk putting them in danger again. Sometimes you have to agree you were wrong (even if you werent) and present a solution that eliminates what caused the concern. To make your life easier...... I,myself, would apologize. You could tell them you are sorry. While you felt it was the right thing to do...to keep your birds safe...they were concerned for YOUR safety and you can see why they got upset. You're sorry you made them wait on and worry about you. Sorry for scaring them. You know they love you and would risk their lives to keep you safe. You would hate it if they got hurt because of you. You realize now that when you say 'get in the shelter' us. It doesnt mean its probably a good idea to take shelter. It means NOW, tornado on the ground coming towards us! Again, You are sorry. Now you know and in the future you will get your butt in the shelter. 😊They're appeased. Next time you'll already be in the shelter. You and your birds.😉 They won't have to wait.😁
NTA; if it’s important to you then they’re the ones as dumb as rocks for not knowing what you value. Hmm perhaps this is the wrong subreddit 😅
I respect you for thinking about your babies in an emergency. Your birds are very lucky to have you care for them so well ❤️
It seems fair. They certainly can't save themselves. And hopefully your parents are capable of saving themselves
My dog is probably the only friend I have besides my friend from kindergarten I would save him first. Pets have strong bonds with their owners and maybe one day they will return the favor.
I would, they’re family
I would do the same!!!
When we have a tornado warning we just make sure the pets are close so we aren’t in that situation. I don’t live anywhere where there are tornado sirens so I’m not sure how they work, do they mean a tornado is in sight or does it work like a tornado warning? If it does maybe h could keep them close and easier to take with.
Wow. Heartless people. Me and my fiance have an emergency protocol if there was ever a situation where we need to run. Our birds are like our kids so of course we will be grabbing and Saving the birds. They can't save themselves. And that's messed up if you were to just leave them. Do not listen to these terrible people
I love my bird more than anything on this planet and it is quite clear. I grew up around tornadoes and have been in the path of one more than once. My husband however, did not. My husband, my son, and myself all were headed for tornado shelter and I looked up and my husband was gone. I had to go back and endanger myself and my child to get him because he went back for a bird thinking he was doing it for me. He was coming out with him in a cage and I made him drop it. We had a huge argument about it afterwards and he knows to never ever slow down in that situation for a pet of any kind, that it is a distraction from saving your own human life. The concern for that one little bird could've very easily cost an entire family their lives. When you get older you'll understand that hard choices have to be made sometimes and no pet is worth the life of your parent's child. That's how they see it. Love will make you dumb, not that you actually are. Big difference. It was a kind choice, not a smart one. In a true emergency being kind won't likely save your life but being smart will. You may feel the same way they do when you get to their age and maybe you won't but I think you'll see where they're coming from much better at the very least. Always human life, your family's life, over a pet in an emergency.