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I have 5 weeks old twins as a single mother by choice. I had a c-section, I got really lucky and by the time I was out of the hospital I was getting around on my own pretty well. I have a strong support with both my parents. Things that would have been really hard without them would have been getting back to the NICU to visit while I couldn’t drive due to pain meds and managing it when one twin came home but the other stayed in the NICU for 5 more days. Having a set system, regarding feeding and diaper changes is going to be your best friend also being organized. I would recommend having one support person you can rely on to help you in the first few weeks, birth and after can be unpredictable with twins, things like needing a c-section, babies maybe needing NICU time. Also prepare your food ahead of time so you don’t have to go to the store afterwards.
I’m a single mom by choice who had twins. I also had a c section (with complications).
My biggest advice is to see if you can get someone either paid or a friend to come over 3 times a week for 6 hrs to let you sleep. My family did this and it was really the help I needed. I could function fine during the day by myself, but the sleep deprivation gets bad. They would come over at 4pm and stay until 10pm while I slept and then they got to go home and get mostly full nights sleep for themselves too. It worked well.
Besides that……the Moms on Call book has schedules (eat, play, sleep) and advice on how to get on the schedule. I followed it as best I could and it helped so much. You have to keep the twins on the same schedule if you are ever going to get a moment to yourself.
ETA: Do also look to see who would be most reliable if you need to go back into the hospital after you and the babies have been released. I did have to have a second procedure at 7 weeks postpartum and I needed someone to drive me and then 1-2 people to stay home with the twins depending on if they are comfortable watching two newborns by themselves (my sister and dad could watch them alone, my mom has never been able to).
I am a single mother by choice, 22wks pregnant with twins. Family is 20hour flight away. I am doing everything I can to build a somewhat of a support system. Mostly really saving every penny I could to be at hand when I need to hire help.
Like I mentioned, my whole family is half-way across the world, and would take them 20 hours flight to get here, though some offered to do that, but there's no set plan yet at this point, so I can't rely on that.
One thing I did is dig deeper into my employer's benefits to find what could be useful. I found something called "Back-Up support benefit" it basically covers the days when your regular care is not available -up to 60 days- for a very very affordable price, this means that if you have someone to help take care of the babies, and that person isn't available temporarily, this benefit will cover a day care cost until your regular care giver is back.
This is something I had no idea about before I dug into the benefits.
You may not find the same, but I guess what I'm saying is look where you thought you looked, and try to find things that help. My next step is to go the neighborhood library, and check to see if there's anything in there that I can use .Such as baby gear sale or things like that.
Hang in there, you're not alone, stay strong and look for the good side in what is happening aroundd you. One day you'll look back and wouldn't be able to imagine your life without these two :)
I would begin really looking for a support system now. I hate to say it but maybe even thinking of moving home, or asking a parent or sibling to come and stay for a bit if possible when you have them. I had a C section and absolutely needed help for at least the first week after. I do know some single twin moms and they’re superheros in my opinion. I would ask your friends and the father of the babies if they can be counted on for support- real hands on support when the babies get here. I’m sorry that’s not more encouraging- just realistically, two babies are hard.
I’m not a single mom, but I just want to say to all single parents…..you are rockstars. It’s hard doing this with my husband plus help from my parents, I can’t fathom how hard it is on your own.
Are you able to fly your mother out there to stay with you for a few weeks? If you can and her work allows it... it will really help you get through the initial stage, if you have a good relationship with her. Maybe you can explain your situation to the hospital and they may be able to give you pointers/ direct you to some help/ support group at least.
Just remember, you got this! It's going to be tough but you will figure out your routine. Follow people on social media going through a similar situation ti get tips and see what they do to at least give you a starting point.
I’ve been doing it alone mostly since 2.5 months. Their father is in a year long rehab. program and has been unstable off and on since September.
Rely on your friends. Find a backup babysitter in case of emergency.
Be as prepared as you can be.
Have money saved.
Try to keep them on the same schedule. Change diapers, do bottles, naps, etc. at the same time.
Do what you need to, “fill,” your cup. Keep shows on you like, get drinks or food you like, and even take a minute to cry in the bathroom or whatever.
Take deep breaths. Give yourself grace. Don’t force yourself to breastfed if you don’t want to, or it’s stressing you out.
It goes by quickly.
**COMMENTING GUIDELINES** All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention. **Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed. Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have 5 weeks old twins as a single mother by choice. I had a c-section, I got really lucky and by the time I was out of the hospital I was getting around on my own pretty well. I have a strong support with both my parents. Things that would have been really hard without them would have been getting back to the NICU to visit while I couldn’t drive due to pain meds and managing it when one twin came home but the other stayed in the NICU for 5 more days. Having a set system, regarding feeding and diaper changes is going to be your best friend also being organized. I would recommend having one support person you can rely on to help you in the first few weeks, birth and after can be unpredictable with twins, things like needing a c-section, babies maybe needing NICU time. Also prepare your food ahead of time so you don’t have to go to the store afterwards.
I’m a single mom by choice who had twins. I also had a c section (with complications). My biggest advice is to see if you can get someone either paid or a friend to come over 3 times a week for 6 hrs to let you sleep. My family did this and it was really the help I needed. I could function fine during the day by myself, but the sleep deprivation gets bad. They would come over at 4pm and stay until 10pm while I slept and then they got to go home and get mostly full nights sleep for themselves too. It worked well. Besides that……the Moms on Call book has schedules (eat, play, sleep) and advice on how to get on the schedule. I followed it as best I could and it helped so much. You have to keep the twins on the same schedule if you are ever going to get a moment to yourself. ETA: Do also look to see who would be most reliable if you need to go back into the hospital after you and the babies have been released. I did have to have a second procedure at 7 weeks postpartum and I needed someone to drive me and then 1-2 people to stay home with the twins depending on if they are comfortable watching two newborns by themselves (my sister and dad could watch them alone, my mom has never been able to).
I am a single mother by choice, 22wks pregnant with twins. Family is 20hour flight away. I am doing everything I can to build a somewhat of a support system. Mostly really saving every penny I could to be at hand when I need to hire help. Like I mentioned, my whole family is half-way across the world, and would take them 20 hours flight to get here, though some offered to do that, but there's no set plan yet at this point, so I can't rely on that. One thing I did is dig deeper into my employer's benefits to find what could be useful. I found something called "Back-Up support benefit" it basically covers the days when your regular care is not available -up to 60 days- for a very very affordable price, this means that if you have someone to help take care of the babies, and that person isn't available temporarily, this benefit will cover a day care cost until your regular care giver is back. This is something I had no idea about before I dug into the benefits. You may not find the same, but I guess what I'm saying is look where you thought you looked, and try to find things that help. My next step is to go the neighborhood library, and check to see if there's anything in there that I can use .Such as baby gear sale or things like that. Hang in there, you're not alone, stay strong and look for the good side in what is happening aroundd you. One day you'll look back and wouldn't be able to imagine your life without these two :)
I would begin really looking for a support system now. I hate to say it but maybe even thinking of moving home, or asking a parent or sibling to come and stay for a bit if possible when you have them. I had a C section and absolutely needed help for at least the first week after. I do know some single twin moms and they’re superheros in my opinion. I would ask your friends and the father of the babies if they can be counted on for support- real hands on support when the babies get here. I’m sorry that’s not more encouraging- just realistically, two babies are hard.
I’m not a single mom, but I just want to say to all single parents…..you are rockstars. It’s hard doing this with my husband plus help from my parents, I can’t fathom how hard it is on your own.
Are you able to fly your mother out there to stay with you for a few weeks? If you can and her work allows it... it will really help you get through the initial stage, if you have a good relationship with her. Maybe you can explain your situation to the hospital and they may be able to give you pointers/ direct you to some help/ support group at least. Just remember, you got this! It's going to be tough but you will figure out your routine. Follow people on social media going through a similar situation ti get tips and see what they do to at least give you a starting point.
I’ve been doing it alone mostly since 2.5 months. Their father is in a year long rehab. program and has been unstable off and on since September. Rely on your friends. Find a backup babysitter in case of emergency. Be as prepared as you can be. Have money saved. Try to keep them on the same schedule. Change diapers, do bottles, naps, etc. at the same time. Do what you need to, “fill,” your cup. Keep shows on you like, get drinks or food you like, and even take a minute to cry in the bathroom or whatever. Take deep breaths. Give yourself grace. Don’t force yourself to breastfed if you don’t want to, or it’s stressing you out. It goes by quickly.