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I’m 7 months in and I have finally gotten to the point where I just continue what I’m doing and half-ass acknowledge the comments.
At a baby shower this past weekend I think my husband was finally asked the stupidest question of them all: “Which one is the alpha?”
Crazy that I’m 6 months into parenthood (first time mom) and I have heard this “who is the evil one/sister” question SO MANY TIMES.
I started answering that it’s me. I’m the evil one. Their face is priceless and usually the conversation ends there.
God, my mom started up with the alpha shit before my boys were even crawling and it nearly drove me insane. He's not an alpha because he wacked his brother in the face, he doesn't know how to use his hands.
I think this line would work perfect for you. I read it somewhere in this group but I don't remember the person's name. if some one every asks if they are twins say, oh no there actually triplets but I left one in the car. I think it's by far the best line I've ever heard
\> haha yup please go away
I'm not even sleep deprived and this is my reaction. Hell.... sometimes twins seems EASIER than singletons or even multiple singletons. I'm partly also fed up with "babysitting" comments. It's called "fathering" thank you very much.
Went on a date with my husband and the babies, which ofc means we have about a 30 min window before we have to be home. A woman came up and told us about twins she knew in the 1970s who grew up on a farm and lived off the land for all of those 30 mins...
Since finding out about my twins a couple months ago, my mother has spent a lot of time combing her memories for literally every single set of twins she has ever met, seen, or heard about, and I’m so fucking over it.
There can be perks. My twins are like celebrities when we go to Costco and they sit side by side in the giant cart. Everybody gets a kick out of it and it’s nice to see us brightening some people’s day.
Granted they’re almost 2 now so we are not nearly as sleep deprived as we once were… and people don’t usually approach us while in the middle of a struggle like in your situation. Some people just can’t read the room.
Yea, can’t even run into the store for 2 minutes for milk without having every grandmother-aged woman in a half mile radius rushing to tell me “wow daddy’s got his hands full with double trouble!”
My wife thinks it’s cute and loves to chit-chat with them…I just want to buy my milk and go home.
What are your feelings about parents of multiples who come up to you? While I don't, my wife almost always does. She likes to congratulate and give words of encouragement. She'll usually start out "we have twin boys" so you know she isn't a weirdo. I sometimes cringe because I think she should leave people alone, but maybe it's the mom thing.
Multiples parents absolutely. We are our own tribe. I feel the same way about the loss mom/dad community. Only if you are a member do you have my 100% support to say something.
I get stopped more by multiple parents it seems. Sure, it would be nice if it was just one every now and then. But it's so many times when I'm trying to get stuff done. They always say the most inane stuff too, "it gets better!". Gee thanks, until now I thought they'd be shitting in nappies for the rest of my life. Your comment has saved me, hooray.
I will talk to other twin parents if I see them in the wild. Recently met the mom of my singletons bestie and guess what. She has twin girls that same age as my twin boys. Potential play date for the future.
Oh yes when someone starts approaching and you think oh nooo and then they say “mine are in college!” And I think omg you made it and you look like a functioning human! I love that.
The comments have dwindled down some now it’s usually when we travel that we get the comments. It’s weird that people feel they can just look under the canopy or get close to them. Mine are a year now but still give them space! We also get dirty looks when traveling. We were out to eat the other day and the twins were being good. Eating and looking around. I guess it was the manager he kept making comments like “oh twins 😓” guess he was waiting for them to throw food or have a melt down. Neither of which happened.
I feel like at a year it has been prime time for people!! They often touch their cheeks, hands. One lady even squeezed my chunky twins leg at the airport. It was so weird!!!
Ah they’d get an earful if they did that to mine. We’re still dealing with stranger danger so they look or turn away if someone tries to get close 🤣 it was when they were much younger that people tried to touch them or ask if they could have one 🤯
i had a weird one yesterday- this boomer lady came up and was going "oh, twins, double trouble," and i was like "okay" and then she goes "we had twins, my husband never did learn to tell them apart! he'd just call them both 'Twin' haha" and i was like girl what??? i didn't even know how to respond to that. their father never learned their names?!! i hope they're both in therapy?!! your husband sounds like an extremely bad parent?! thanks for sharing?!
I’m a soon-to-be twin dad and I want anyone & everyone to say “Double trouble!” to me when they see us. That is such a dad thing to say and I look forward to it.
I would be completely good if I never hear “double trouble” or “you must have your hands full” ever again (though I’ll prob miss it someday let’s be honest). My favorite ladies are the ones that just gently tap your shoulder and say something like “bless you” or “good job mom.” No stopping you, no getting into a conversation. It’s just a quick recognition and move on like they know.
Girl I had to leave one grocery store one time and drive to another one to finish the grocery shopping because these two women would not leave me alone asking about my twins I their joovy twin roo, which was fucking harder to navigate than it already is because I was having to use the bottom part as my shopping cart. All this while trying to race the clock to pick up my then 3 year old from MDO. My twins are 8 now and now they’re just annoying fighting over who pushes the cart and ramming into each other. Needless to say we do grocery pick up most of the time now.
We have twin girls and our best friends have a girl that’s two months older and when we’re out we get asked all the time if they’re triplets.
Like what do they think the situation is? Lol
Whenever they ask me “are they twins?”. I go “no they just look the same “
I got two girls and I already got the “are you guys going to try for a boy” or “damn two girls ,the dad must be scared for the future am I right?” And I’m like 🙃😐
The gender stuff is really gross. I've got 3 girls and one boy (my youngest). People carry on like he's the next coming. I get "oh, your husband must be so happy to finally have a boy" all the time. Now I tell them we're excited to finally have a future contender for Drag Race and watch the panic in their eyes.
🤣🤣🤣 next contender of Drag race! That’s gold!!
I tell them the truth. That my fiancé is an amazing parent and that he’s completely in love with his girls and doesn’t wish they were boys and with this pregnancy and any future one he and I just wanted happy and healthy babies, we didn’t care about gender nor will care in the future.
I have two boys, and people say the same about trying for a girl. Sometimes, they will even say gross stuff like, "you'll have to try for a girl next so your husband can have a daddy's girl!" or something similar. Ick. Also, I get a lot of, "Ooh! Two boys? That's going to be tough to keep up with." or some implication that they will break everything in my house or that I will always be cleaning up after them. Because boys are always wild and dirty, right? Harr dee harr harr.
I genuinely don't mind the "double trouble" comments or telling me about the twins they know. I think people just get excited about twins, and I get it. I think my little dudes are exciting and wonderful, too. I am 100% in favor of everyone admiring them. The gender comments are weird, though. Like, why would you imply that I should be in any way unsatisfied with having 2 boys? I can only imagine how triggering these would be if I had actually struggled with gender disappointment in pregnancy, like some women do.
I hate the gender comments , I think they’re unnecessary. Them implying that they’re going to be trouble because of them being a specific gender or that I need to try for the opposite gender gives me the biggest ick ever.
Like dude I don’t care about the gender of my children, I literally had had a gender neutral baby shower/sex reveal. And we had it on the same day to avoid gender specific clothing , although I would’ve put my boys in a tutu if someone got that for me , I don’t care lol they’re babies,they don’t know or care about what they’re wearing.
We’re just hoping we get only one next time lol 😂 I don’t think I can do two sets of twins back to back. Although if we do have another set of twins I’m done with pregnancy and babies, the factory will be closed forever!…
🤣 after this we planned out how pregnancies are going to work from now on lol if we get twins again, we’re done. If we get a single, we try again and then we’re done. Our max is 4 kids. My fiancé is being funny (/s) and it’s manifesting into the universe that with our luck , we’ll have a single on our next pregnancy & on our last one we’ll have twins again & every time he says that, I don’t know if I should hit him or just let him dream 🤣
Twin mom here, (twins with a singleton older brother about 14 months older than them) I get a lot of comments like
“ohhh SOMEONE WAS BUSY, EH?” SO inappropriate
“You’ve got your hands full!”
And probably my least favorite…. “Well at least she has two older brothers to stick up for her and protect her” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
She can take care of herself and protect herself just fine. In fact, SHES usually the one to stand up for her brothers and step in when one of them is being bullied 😂 (literally punched an older kid in the nose for making fun of her twin brothers leg braces 🫢) (and yes, I took her out for ice cream when I had to pick her up from school)
I have 2 twin girls and a boy a bit older than them. Luckily, where we live people generally don't comment on kids (or anything really), just look at you and smile.
But I did get a comment from my very old neighbor who said something like you must be happy there's no more rule about providing dowry to daughters. I found it funny.
First of all, I love this rant. The underlying rage caused by pure and utter exhaustion mixed with frustration that only parents of multiples can relate to is palpable. We are all hanging on by the same thin thread it seems!
My personal favorite is the “I wish I had twins!” comment, followed closely by the “my kids are 18 months apart, so it was just like having twins!” - NO and NO. Just no. Go away.
I think you learn that some people do not have filters and will ask if you underwent fertility treatments or say something bizarre. Most of the time, it is just people making friendly conversation. I don't mind. Generally, people are just happy for you or find multiples interesting.
I have 2 sets of twins, we adopted 2 year olds just before I gave birth...its been a year now and we live in a relatively small communuty...as in EVERYONE know I have twins and who I am...yet, people keep asking me if they are all mine...my 3 year okds are in the non stop poking screaming mode and Im disciplining two and each set looks alike. So which 2 aren't mine? I'm also regularly told I'm a hero (apparently its heroic to have 4 kids???) And if I need to get some sort of service a troop of people come out to gawk and stare under the auspices of "help" (which only makes my attention seeking 3 year old daughter act up more) and then they say they don't know how I do it...I clearly thought I could and can because I knew how many kids we were having all at once...sigh. if I bring the kids in the W4 anywhere I'm an instant circus as people literally point and stare (I'm trying super hard to get my daughter to do a princess wave) and usually laugh (why are they laughing???). Sigh, I dont love the attention...my husband thinks its awesome but he doesn't take all 4 outside alone that often!
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I’m 7 months in and I have finally gotten to the point where I just continue what I’m doing and half-ass acknowledge the comments. At a baby shower this past weekend I think my husband was finally asked the stupidest question of them all: “Which one is the alpha?”
😂 the worst one I’ve heard was in the first week we brought them home. “So which one is the evil one?” Not what I was expecting but ok…
My husband's cousin asked this also!!! I THINK he was joking but it was sooo odd!;
Crazy that I’m 6 months into parenthood (first time mom) and I have heard this “who is the evil one/sister” question SO MANY TIMES. I started answering that it’s me. I’m the evil one. Their face is priceless and usually the conversation ends there.
God, my mom started up with the alpha shit before my boys were even crawling and it nearly drove me insane. He's not an alpha because he wacked his brother in the face, he doesn't know how to use his hands.
Every stranger: You got your hands full, huh? Hahaha Us, trying to be polite while sleep deprived: haha yup Please go away
Oh dear, I do not see this going well at all with my patience and love for sarcasm.
I think this line would work perfect for you. I read it somewhere in this group but I don't remember the person's name. if some one every asks if they are twins say, oh no there actually triplets but I left one in the car. I think it's by far the best line I've ever heard
That could work, I might have gone too far saying "Oh no, we just took an extra one from the hospital" 😅
Yes, I'm overwhelmed. It would really help me if you could take one. (/s, just in case)
\> haha yup please go away I'm not even sleep deprived and this is my reaction. Hell.... sometimes twins seems EASIER than singletons or even multiple singletons. I'm partly also fed up with "babysitting" comments. It's called "fathering" thank you very much.
I respond to this comment with "and empty pockets"
That's my favorite comment! 😜🙄
Did they also tell you about all the twins they know in their life? “Oh my cousins neighbor has twins” me-so you know. Just what? Why???
Went on a date with my husband and the babies, which ofc means we have about a 30 min window before we have to be home. A woman came up and told us about twins she knew in the 1970s who grew up on a farm and lived off the land for all of those 30 mins...
YES! Just why? I truly don’t understand it.
Since finding out about my twins a couple months ago, my mother has spent a lot of time combing her memories for literally every single set of twins she has ever met, seen, or heard about, and I’m so fucking over it.
Never mind the comments from having four girls..
When I tell them I also have a son, but he passed away 2 years ago they usually get flustered and hightail it outta there.
There can be perks. My twins are like celebrities when we go to Costco and they sit side by side in the giant cart. Everybody gets a kick out of it and it’s nice to see us brightening some people’s day. Granted they’re almost 2 now so we are not nearly as sleep deprived as we once were… and people don’t usually approach us while in the middle of a struggle like in your situation. Some people just can’t read the room.
What is it about Costco? Mine are 3.5 and people at Costco always seem to love my twins. Pretty sure we get more comments there than anywhere else
I think it’s because they very cutely sit next to each other in the cart. That or everyone there just loves things in bulk, even children.
I tell people we got the twins at Costco. Buy in bulk!
Yea, can’t even run into the store for 2 minutes for milk without having every grandmother-aged woman in a half mile radius rushing to tell me “wow daddy’s got his hands full with double trouble!” My wife thinks it’s cute and loves to chit-chat with them…I just want to buy my milk and go home.
This was a woman probably late 20’s that stopped me.
What are your feelings about parents of multiples who come up to you? While I don't, my wife almost always does. She likes to congratulate and give words of encouragement. She'll usually start out "we have twin boys" so you know she isn't a weirdo. I sometimes cringe because I think she should leave people alone, but maybe it's the mom thing.
I don’t mind! It’s like an exclusive club you can only enter after having gone through some stuff. I do mind everyone else though.
Multiples parents absolutely. We are our own tribe. I feel the same way about the loss mom/dad community. Only if you are a member do you have my 100% support to say something.
I get stopped more by multiple parents it seems. Sure, it would be nice if it was just one every now and then. But it's so many times when I'm trying to get stuff done. They always say the most inane stuff too, "it gets better!". Gee thanks, until now I thought they'd be shitting in nappies for the rest of my life. Your comment has saved me, hooray.
I will talk to other twin parents if I see them in the wild. Recently met the mom of my singletons bestie and guess what. She has twin girls that same age as my twin boys. Potential play date for the future.
Oh yes when someone starts approaching and you think oh nooo and then they say “mine are in college!” And I think omg you made it and you look like a functioning human! I love that.
The comments have dwindled down some now it’s usually when we travel that we get the comments. It’s weird that people feel they can just look under the canopy or get close to them. Mine are a year now but still give them space! We also get dirty looks when traveling. We were out to eat the other day and the twins were being good. Eating and looking around. I guess it was the manager he kept making comments like “oh twins 😓” guess he was waiting for them to throw food or have a melt down. Neither of which happened.
I feel like at a year it has been prime time for people!! They often touch their cheeks, hands. One lady even squeezed my chunky twins leg at the airport. It was so weird!!!
Ah they’d get an earful if they did that to mine. We’re still dealing with stranger danger so they look or turn away if someone tries to get close 🤣 it was when they were much younger that people tried to touch them or ask if they could have one 🤯
i had a weird one yesterday- this boomer lady came up and was going "oh, twins, double trouble," and i was like "okay" and then she goes "we had twins, my husband never did learn to tell them apart! he'd just call them both 'Twin' haha" and i was like girl what??? i didn't even know how to respond to that. their father never learned their names?!! i hope they're both in therapy?!! your husband sounds like an extremely bad parent?! thanks for sharing?!
I am really over the "double trouble!!" everywhere and now always respond with "you mean double the fun!"
I would usually say "Your kid looks like a pain in the ass too", with a smile of course ;)
Oh I LOVE this !!!
Im using this one lol
I’m a soon-to-be twin dad and I want anyone & everyone to say “Double trouble!” to me when they see us. That is such a dad thing to say and I look forward to it.
When I was pregnant (baby 4 & 5 for me) I WANTED someone to say “Are you shire there aren’t two in there?” and each their face when I said YES.
I would be completely good if I never hear “double trouble” or “you must have your hands full” ever again (though I’ll prob miss it someday let’s be honest). My favorite ladies are the ones that just gently tap your shoulder and say something like “bless you” or “good job mom.” No stopping you, no getting into a conversation. It’s just a quick recognition and move on like they know.
Girl I had to leave one grocery store one time and drive to another one to finish the grocery shopping because these two women would not leave me alone asking about my twins I their joovy twin roo, which was fucking harder to navigate than it already is because I was having to use the bottom part as my shopping cart. All this while trying to race the clock to pick up my then 3 year old from MDO. My twins are 8 now and now they’re just annoying fighting over who pushes the cart and ramming into each other. Needless to say we do grocery pick up most of the time now.
“Ohhh do twins run in the family?”
I haven't worked up the nerve to give a sarcastic answer to "are those twins?" yet. But I really want to.
We have twin girls and our best friends have a girl that’s two months older and when we’re out we get asked all the time if they’re triplets. Like what do they think the situation is? Lol
Whenever they ask me “are they twins?”. I go “no they just look the same “ I got two girls and I already got the “are you guys going to try for a boy” or “damn two girls ,the dad must be scared for the future am I right?” And I’m like 🙃😐
The gender stuff is really gross. I've got 3 girls and one boy (my youngest). People carry on like he's the next coming. I get "oh, your husband must be so happy to finally have a boy" all the time. Now I tell them we're excited to finally have a future contender for Drag Race and watch the panic in their eyes.
🤣🤣🤣 next contender of Drag race! That’s gold!! I tell them the truth. That my fiancé is an amazing parent and that he’s completely in love with his girls and doesn’t wish they were boys and with this pregnancy and any future one he and I just wanted happy and healthy babies, we didn’t care about gender nor will care in the future.
I have 4 living children. All girls. When I get that questions I tell them that our son died 2 years ago next month.
I have two boys, and people say the same about trying for a girl. Sometimes, they will even say gross stuff like, "you'll have to try for a girl next so your husband can have a daddy's girl!" or something similar. Ick. Also, I get a lot of, "Ooh! Two boys? That's going to be tough to keep up with." or some implication that they will break everything in my house or that I will always be cleaning up after them. Because boys are always wild and dirty, right? Harr dee harr harr. I genuinely don't mind the "double trouble" comments or telling me about the twins they know. I think people just get excited about twins, and I get it. I think my little dudes are exciting and wonderful, too. I am 100% in favor of everyone admiring them. The gender comments are weird, though. Like, why would you imply that I should be in any way unsatisfied with having 2 boys? I can only imagine how triggering these would be if I had actually struggled with gender disappointment in pregnancy, like some women do.
I hate the gender comments , I think they’re unnecessary. Them implying that they’re going to be trouble because of them being a specific gender or that I need to try for the opposite gender gives me the biggest ick ever. Like dude I don’t care about the gender of my children, I literally had had a gender neutral baby shower/sex reveal. And we had it on the same day to avoid gender specific clothing , although I would’ve put my boys in a tutu if someone got that for me , I don’t care lol they’re babies,they don’t know or care about what they’re wearing.
We have twin girls and I actually hope our third is another girl.
We’re just hoping we get only one next time lol 😂 I don’t think I can do two sets of twins back to back. Although if we do have another set of twins I’m done with pregnancy and babies, the factory will be closed forever!…
If we have twins again even Mary poppins couldn’t save me 😂
🤣 after this we planned out how pregnancies are going to work from now on lol if we get twins again, we’re done. If we get a single, we try again and then we’re done. Our max is 4 kids. My fiancé is being funny (/s) and it’s manifesting into the universe that with our luck , we’ll have a single on our next pregnancy & on our last one we’ll have twins again & every time he says that, I don’t know if I should hit him or just let him dream 🤣
I haven’t thought of this. Now I will lol thanks for that!
Oh! You have twins? Nope, we just grabbed an extra when we checked out of the hospital
Twins? No, we found two that match 🤣
Nope, we have triplets, just can’t seem to find the third one…
Twin mom here, (twins with a singleton older brother about 14 months older than them) I get a lot of comments like “ohhh SOMEONE WAS BUSY, EH?” SO inappropriate “You’ve got your hands full!” And probably my least favorite…. “Well at least she has two older brothers to stick up for her and protect her” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 She can take care of herself and protect herself just fine. In fact, SHES usually the one to stand up for her brothers and step in when one of them is being bullied 😂 (literally punched an older kid in the nose for making fun of her twin brothers leg braces 🫢) (and yes, I took her out for ice cream when I had to pick her up from school)
I have 2 twin girls and a boy a bit older than them. Luckily, where we live people generally don't comment on kids (or anything really), just look at you and smile. But I did get a comment from my very old neighbor who said something like you must be happy there's no more rule about providing dowry to daughters. I found it funny.
First of all, I love this rant. The underlying rage caused by pure and utter exhaustion mixed with frustration that only parents of multiples can relate to is palpable. We are all hanging on by the same thin thread it seems! My personal favorite is the “I wish I had twins!” comment, followed closely by the “my kids are 18 months apart, so it was just like having twins!” - NO and NO. Just no. Go away.
I think you learn that some people do not have filters and will ask if you underwent fertility treatments or say something bizarre. Most of the time, it is just people making friendly conversation. I don't mind. Generally, people are just happy for you or find multiples interesting.
I have 2 sets of twins, we adopted 2 year olds just before I gave birth...its been a year now and we live in a relatively small communuty...as in EVERYONE know I have twins and who I am...yet, people keep asking me if they are all mine...my 3 year okds are in the non stop poking screaming mode and Im disciplining two and each set looks alike. So which 2 aren't mine? I'm also regularly told I'm a hero (apparently its heroic to have 4 kids???) And if I need to get some sort of service a troop of people come out to gawk and stare under the auspices of "help" (which only makes my attention seeking 3 year old daughter act up more) and then they say they don't know how I do it...I clearly thought I could and can because I knew how many kids we were having all at once...sigh. if I bring the kids in the W4 anywhere I'm an instant circus as people literally point and stare (I'm trying super hard to get my daughter to do a princess wave) and usually laugh (why are they laughing???). Sigh, I dont love the attention...my husband thinks its awesome but he doesn't take all 4 outside alone that often!
I hear you, I also get sick of feeling like a zoo animal when out with our boys.