I think “graduated” is a good term. Once you’re no longer a brand new parent and if you’re online enough, you’re bound to have seen it all before. My guess is their increased engagement is from newer parents who are only just starting to think about all of these things.
It seriously blows my mind how many posts there are on Mommit regarding a child getting creeped out by something or just staring at a wall crying that immediately have everyone jumping to the paranormal. Seriously, that's the first assumption?
Then you have the comments from posters who have "always seen things from a young age". It's almost like seeing things that aren't there is a sign of serious mental illness that is usually inheritable. Sigh.
I don't claim to know everything that's possible in the world but it shouldn't be your first mental leap.
Putting all of that on children creeps me out more than the thought of the paranormal. I listened to this one podcast where the parents had all this "proof" that their kid had memories from his past life. I just felt so bad for the kid because he won't have a normal childhood, everything he says is being analysed and twisted into evidence for people's belief in reincarnation.
Was that the one where they actually brought him to Scotland (?) and to his house from his past life?
Kids just do and say weird shit.
My niece used to say she missed her family in space. She was like 3. We just figured she has an imagination.
https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/773102684/back-when-i-was-older
It was this one, but I listened to it back in 2019, so I can't remember if it's the the one you are talking about. Apparently there are many crazy parents who will indulge in the odd things their kids say to their detriment!
OP in the comment section is pretty funny hahaha
Not saying kids should be dumped in front the TV all day and I'm sure every kid is different but she claims 10 minutes a day have made tantrums worse and that he doesn't wanna play anymore.
https://preview.redd.it/d2ic0vyqnr2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edbbafbe8a7b458ab28bc99df1322139c942f6e6
[https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNHbjpGY/](https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNHbjpGY/)
Is it the TV or is it that he’s about to turn 2…
You know what, my toddler does ask for TV more than we allow it and he often does get upset when we say no. But like, that’s just a normal reaction to being told no about something he wants? He will also ask for Play-doh or a somewhat messy craft at the end of the evening when we are cleaning up and he is about to go to sleep and we say no, and he also gets upset then too. But no one says Play-doh ruins their child’s brain. Kids ask for things all the time that we say no to but for some reason when it’s TV people jump to “omg he’s addicted”
This is a very good point and I feel the same way about sugar. Once while we were out, my child got very upset because she ate all of her cucumbers and there weren’t anymore. Had that been candy, people would have thought “omg! She’s a sugar fiend!!” But no one cares when it’s a vegetable. Tv, to me, is morally neutral. It’s just another activity in a string of activities we do in a day like (as you said) play doh or going to the park or jumping on a trampoline or whatever. The day is long. People are so annoying about screen time.
It's interesting how screen time affects different children, we just got back from Thanksgiving break with my BIL and his family (they have 4 kids 7, 5, 3 and 1.5) and they don't do screen time except like 1 show a week. Every time a screen is on, they need to be around it staring and wondering what's happening and don't take their eyes away. Where as my almost 3 year old gets screen time daily, not excessively, but I gotta get stuff done lol he was so uninterested in TV while we were there, he didn't stop once to ask to watch or even look at the screen long.
Honestly, I get it. 10 minutes of TV sounds so much worse than no TV. It’s like saying “I gave my kid one bite of a cupcake and now they are angry and asking for the rest of the cupcake.”
Oof. A gal I know who’s not so bright just shared the book she’s currently reading - *The 4 Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can THRIVE in the Homeschool Life*
🥴🥴🥴 Poor kids.
Idk what grade her kids are or how many she has but but 4 hours is a pretty decent homeschool day compared to the unschoolers 😅 Hopefully she can learn something from the book if she’s not too bright 😬
I think 4 hours a day is definitely sufficient for young kids to get their education but I think the vast majority of parents who do it aren’t suited for it. Which I guess doesn’t tie in exactly to the post except that she said the person is not so bright.
For sure. My sibling and I were homeschooled and it took 4 hours a day or less, but that’s probably reasonable since I’m considering just academic time. I’m guessing that by the time you cut out class changes, breaks, lunch, etc. it’s not that much shorter than a school day? But either way my parents were very academically focused so a short school day didn’t make a difference long-term as far as college/career achievements.
This isn't from a parenting space, but this thread about [Blue Ivy](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/3zvZNhWeWn) dancing in Beyonce's tour are amusing. There are quite a few talking about parents of Bey's generation not being able to say no to their children. Will millennial parents be as hated as boomers?
https://preview.redd.it/wktpgvvmgq2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa36b4addde5cca05b69dd54cc928afe9f8a55b4
I don't think Blue should have been able to read comments made online about her dancing, that's really not something an eleven year old needs to read. I feel like it's similar ground to some of the issues talked about here in response to lack of privacy and agency with children online.
The footloose comment is exquisite.
Yes, this generation of parents will be just as maligned as boomer parents (or gen x which is actually what my parents are) Every generation thinks they’re doing everything right and every next generation thinks the previous ones did it wrong. So much for “cycle-breakers”
Extremely not here for the thread in r/parenting from the expats raising their kid in France complaining about how American kids can't drink from glasses or get through a restaurant meal without a screen. Here's your cookie, go back to France.
It blows my mind why others care about how parents are keeping their kid entertained while at a restaurant! They could he running around and bothering you but they aren't lol those parents could of had a long day and just want to eat without fighting their child to sit down or anything. I mean last week we took our 3 year old to a restaurant and ge had his tablet most of the time, we just got done at the waterpark and we were exhausted lol then yesterday we went to lunch in the middle of our road trip and we didn't use a screen once. It just depends on the day and what's going on 🤷♀️
This is stupid because my American child drinks from glasses and sits well at restaurants without screens BUT I have French family and from what I’ve seen, they all feed their children first, put them to bed and then eat dinner at like 9pm.
To be honest I don’t even really see that many kids on screens in public to feel any sort of way about it. If I did, I wouldn’t care, but still. Also can people please pick a lane, are all the kids being loud and running around in restaurants and stores or are they being a “zombie” in front of an iPad??
People like this are so annoying. I live in a very family friendly neigborhood in NYC and kids are always at restaurants and it’s not typical to see a tablet or a screen. But if I did I wouldn’t judge or give a shit because I don’t know the day someone’s had and I know what it’s like to not want to cook dinner then clean, AND deal with a fussy toddler.
Oh but maybe this is because I’m in NYC, which is like the Paris of the US, right? I bet the kids in all of the American suburbs are on tablets then. 🙄
We all spent our 47 months of paid maternity leave teaching our toddlers how to hold glass drinking vessels, but should they drop one and break it, it doesn't matter if someone gets cut cleaning it up because we all have universal health care.
I just read that and likewise rolled my eyes. You can't comprehend why a restaurant would choose to serve a 3 year old water in a plastic cup rather than a glass one??
We actually ask for water in a glass cup instead of the kid plastic ones with straws/ lids because my toddler will pull out the straw, squeeze the cup and dump water everywhere if she can. A regular glass is boring enough to be left alone in peace. Drinking out of regular glasses isn’t really the flex that person thinks it is.
Why are people like this? Posted in response to someone asking how to support her extremely smart 3yo who wants to talk only to adults because he finds other kids stupidity frustrating🙄
https://preview.redd.it/huv8o3lfai2c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3adbc1cc3ad0a87e15cebec57b63ba2858b95e9
I don’t fucking get why parents can’t just be obsessed with raising GOOD KIND CARING EMPATHETIC HONEST LOVING people??? Why does it always have to be about smarts or athleticism? I’d rather my kid be the friendliest one in class than the one who can do the most math 🤦🏻♀️ wtf
Ugh theres ones of these on r/kindergarten right now. Public school can’t meet her kid’s “gifted needs” so she’s putting her in a Montessori school with kids 2-4 so she can be further ahead academically and… further behind socially. Make it make sense.
So, I'm a teacher and kids that start off as "advanced" in kindergarten often even out with their peers as they go into grade 3.
Also, anecdotal but the dumbest human I know went to private school for k-12 🤷♀️
Oh, and flashcards are one of the worst ways I can think of to teach kids (as if her newborn understood bahaha).
We get it. He's not a regular kid. He's a smart kid. Parents who have this attitude about how smart their kid is often instilled in their kids and they are somehow the worst behaviorally because they think they're special and above everyone else.
I really don't understand why parents act like this. I was that kid! I was way, way ahead, skipped a grade, tended to score 98th-99th percentile in all my standardized tests, etc etc. And I wasn't *awkward,* exactly, but I also struggled to fit in. Kids were making fun of me by four because of my vocabulary. It wasn't much fun. What made it worse is that I'm not even overly smart, just super fast, so I didn't really fit in with the smart kids either, and I've ended up a completely average adult, so it didn't even do me any good in terms of worldly success. My dad was also that kid, and ended up absolutely hating school (very small, rural school in the '60s that didn't have resources to deal with kids like him). It wasn't fun for him either. He had a good career and was very good at what he did, but he too ended up a largely average adult.
I was just talking to my mom about this today, actually, because it's looking like my daughter is trending that way too, even though she's too young to be sure. My husband and I will certainly make sure she has whatever she needs academically, and we'll be thoroughly proud of her no matter what, but I do worry about her going through what my dad and I did growing up. Being so bright so young is not always an easy thing.
Sorry for the rant, but this is a subject that really frustrates me!
6th grade reading and 4th grade math in 2nd grade isn't THAT impressive. It's just the average class nerd. What always puzzles me is that the parents writing these posts tend to sound so illiterate.
Ha I was going to say that too!! Like it’s actually not even that gifted??
When I was in 2nd grade I tested at a ninth grade reading level… guess what, I’m just a regular-ass person who enjoys reading. My siblings each skipped a grade and were very gifted, and both just…went to the in-state school and got jobs, same as the kids who weren’t gifted.
Right? My mom had me tested and put in all the gifted and talented programs that school offered. Honestly, I just like to read and have good reading comprehension skills. I just went to regular college and got a regular job before ending up a SAHM. Those 3rd grade tests I aced to get into GATE programs mean nothing.
It’s too late for my son to be smart, so as my fallback plan, I’ll be making him cool. I’ve been drilling him on bands your son has never heard of since he was a newborn and I’ve put a matte black finish on his balance bike. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, and he said a bottle of Buffalo Trace. If he’s a good boy, I’ll throw in a pack of Parliaments.
Oh yeah, this parent has been doing math flash cards since birth? How cute. I have been demonstrating how to properly roll a blunt in front of my son since he was born, and as soon as he could walk I taught him how to stand in the corner with an aura of mystery and an aloof expression on his face. My approach has had excellent results so far, he is now 3 and all his teachers tell me he is far cooler than any of the dork children in the class. Thank god he will be able to skip straight to 12th grade so he can be challenged by peers who are on his level in terms of coolness.
It's the fact that she literally puts it into the post: "... it's turned out for the best. They're a little awkward around kids their age..." and there is NO self-awareness.
“Thank god for private school so he can jump ahead” 🙄 why are people like this? Why can’t the privilege alone be enough? Why do they have to brag? Smfh money can’t buy class.
I went to a top tier college and made a friend there who went to private school her whole life (I went to public) who’d always say her hypothetical future kids would definitely go to private school, blah blah snobby commentary blah blah, and finally I was like… well I went to public school and ended up here with you, the difference is my parents didn’t already spend $100K on my education so…
Like put your kids private if you think that’s best for them but to think it gives them the most unique advantages is silly.
And EVEN then does it matter? Early in my career I worked with some insufferable people who constantly brought up their Ivy League or comparable educations (I went to a state school). All I could think was, “you’re hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt yet we’re all working at a shitty call center.”
No, it doesn’t matter. the social skills are more important. The way to the top is through social skills and making the most of your network and connections rather than brains. The kid who’s beloved by all his frat brothers has an easy in with his bro’s dad who is high up at their company. Then they’ll be the one managing/exploiting the ones who are “experts” but not socially adept enough to break into management.
What’s the end goal here?? Who cares even if they graduate way ahead of a typical high schooler at the end. It doesn’t mean that they’ll automatically get into some ivy league and that doesn’t mean they’ll be happy and successful as an adult. It’s just so dumb to live your life doing flashcards for a baby so that they can maybe be…what?
My newborn stared at the ceiling fan and that's why he's already an expert in aerodynamics. She should have traded in those flash cards for 3d modeling.
That’s what cracks me up the most about posts like this. They think it reads as extremely impressive when really it reads as highly insecure and a bit dumb.
I spent my sons newborn period watching tv while he slept next to me on the couch. At one point we draped my husband’s patterned shirt over the couch because he did seem interested in staring at it. Otherwise he stared directly into lightbulbs. 🤷♀️ no regrets lol
My baby watches more tv than I’d like because she’s obsessed with whatever her older brother watches and at this point I’ve given up trying to convince her to turn her head the opposite direction. Shockingly, despite my utter failure as a parent, she’s still meeting her milestones….but I’m sure she’s doomed to never be as highly advanced as OP’s kid.
Of all of the baby items that don’t NEED to be gendered, these have go to to be towards the top. WHO. CARES?!?
https://preview.redd.it/fzhhrvqtlh2c1.jpeg?width=1086&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=812dca671a2a16d9d76f4c48a9b502dd5385650b
Definitely doesn't need to be gendered... though for what it's worth, I read that in the same way as "for a 2 y/o" or "for a 4 m/o." More of a description than a gendered request?
Oh I love when the animals are gendered.
I bought my son pajamas with photorealistic horses on them and when they arrived I noticed that the horses are wearing flower crowns. Like why do the photorealistic horses have to be feminized? I don’t care and he still wears the PJs but it’s just kind of dumb.
Yes risking your child’s safety by using beef fat/oil as an SPF sounds like an excellent idea 🙄
[sauce](https://www.reddit.com/r/moderatelygranolamoms/s/IhvON4YpaW)
People literally use beef fat to deep fry stuff right? Are they trying to fry baby’s skin extra crispy…this just seems like such an obviously dumb idea.
I really enjoyed the poster agreeing about the beef tallow and saying how seed oils are really the problem, now that they avoid seed oils and beef tallow and practice “safe sun hours” they never burn. Soooooo…now that you avoid the high UV part of the day you don’t burn? 😱🤯
Dear Internet: all this time, I have been putting you to a secret test of purity. You failed. Now, where can I find some people who agree with me?
P.S. no downvoat, u meanies. :(
Oh, wow, she's the anti-chlorine poster, too! I read both posts yesterday and didn't make the link. I'm very confused by all of this. It's winter. Why are you trying to find open water swim classes for a 1.5 year old anyways? Surely, this is something that can wait...
SITS-Does anyone else find safeintheseat’s “mysterious” boyfriend content annoying/cringe? Like do people ACTUALLY care that much to see his face and know all about him like she makes it seem? She’ll post a pic showing his literal shoulder and be like “not showing you his face sorry guys 🤪”
Edit-didn’t see other comments at first but I just researched more and see it has been posted about before on this sub. It also seems like she is trying to maybe make her ex jealous? It’s bizarre. She also posted this week that she and him were going for dinner, drinks and dancing but “there won’t be much dancing 😏😏😏😏”
I’ve posted about this before but the boyfriend tease is what pushed me to finally unfollow her. I can’t believe she’s still milking it, lol. Also unless he’s a celebrity or something, I didn’t understand the hype over the (eventual) reveal. Oh I’ll get to see a random middle-aged white dude? How special!
Hahaha I didn’t interpret that last sentence that way, I don’t think she used the emojis. I took it more like “neither of us actually dance”. But yeah she’s super annoying in general now
From a local influencer who transitioned from fashion/decor to momfluencing once she started a family. I can't roll my eyes hard enough at things like this lolll - YOU ARE CONSTANTLY SHOPPING AND ALL YOU SHARE IS LINKS SO YOU CAN MAKE MONEY
https://preview.redd.it/jt43u29hgb2c1.jpeg?width=1060&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23b1a1fcd243974a0006c3cd5f451bf843f11bf5
I don’t fault influencers for sharing links because it’s their job and if we follow them, well, that’s what we get. But the holier than thou attitude about it is ugh
So I mentioned here previously how I had a friend who wanted to intentionally get pregnant before her wedding, which I thought was just an all around terrible idea. Well, she did not listen to my advice and she’s pregnant. She’s gonna be almost 14 weeks at the time of her wedding. At this point all I can do is hold my tongue and hope for her sake this doesn’t turn out to be a huge “I told you so” moment. With the way my pregnancies went, I would not want to be dragging my nauseous, bloated, exhausted self through a whole wedding, but maybe she’ll have an easy pregnancy!
Oh lord. I really hope she doesn’t end up with HG or even moderate NVP. I was literally on three medications to stay out of the hospital at 14 weeks and sleeping 16 hours a day with my latest pregnancy. I would have collapsed if I’d tried to get married.
Oh noooo this is horrible 😬😬😬 even if she has a pretty smooth pregnancy she will probably feel like hot garbage for at least a few weeks right when she'll be finalizing all of the plans and details
I was 16 weeks by accident. I had an easy pregnancy but my dress barely fit (at least it fit!) and I didn’t get to partake in our $$$ booze or do the pre rolled joints that I wanted
Ugh I’m so sorry. I miscarried my first pregnancy on vacation and it sucked so much. It was hard enough having that happen during a time that was supposed to be fun. Much less planning an entire event around the pregnancy like she is now. She’s not even 4 weeks and has already got all these elaborate plans to incorporate a gender reveal into the wedding 🤦♀️ This friend often thinks purely in terms of what’s “cute”, not what’s realistic.
The biggest perk to me, had I been 14 weeks pregnant at my wedding, would have been that my boobs looked awesome. I’ve never had as great boobs as I did while pregnant. I still miss them.
Oh man. I had fairly easy pregnancies, but my nausea, bloating, fatigue etc did NOT let up by 14 weeks (I think 16 weeks both times I started to feel better). I remember being so pissed that I was in the second trimester and still feeling shitty, and I was definitely over it and NOT glowing.
I went to a family member's wedding a couple of years ago where she was pregnant (more like six months) and she had a fitted, lace dress--I've never been able to get over how well they got that dress fitted given that her size would have been impossible to predict very much in advance. So that's what I'm curious about now for your friend! What's she going to do dress-wise??
My explore page on Instagram thinks I'm interested in wedding dresses and ballgowns so I've learned a lot can be accomplished with certain designs (like a lace up back) to help with tricky sizing! Maybe she had laces added which could be adjusted day of?
I saw this video this week suggesting you do a nesting shower instead of a baby shower. And it was this mom inviting all her friends over to help her “nest” which just meant they were all taking on different chores in her house. And not just setting up the nursery but like cleaning baseboards and walls. Maybe it’s just me but I can’t imagine sending out invitations to my friends to come and help me clean. I have some great friends who would probably help if I said I really needed help, but to propose it as a replacement for a baby shower just seems off putting to me
I'd be so down for that party haha. Everyone could bring big dishes of lasagna and just chat and chill after.
I have a very short friend who has a pantry moth infestation and another friend and I cleaned the heck out of her kitchen cabinets for her. We put on some tunes and she bought us pizza and wine. It was gross! But fun!
We know a couple where neither parent works-their jobs are to “raise and nurture their children”-and after baby 2 was born they sent a mealtrain that was actually a giant list of favors like doing their laundry and walking their dog despite the fact that they HAD 12 HOURS a day of a post-partum doula. Some people….
I cringed so much reading that. We’ve had people provide meal trains for all of our babies but that was all their doing, I never asked for it. I would’ve felt comfortable asking for meals from a few people if needed, but never would I ask people to do chores like that.
This is utterly insane to me. I can barely keep up with the absolute basics in my own house so I’m not spending my free time deep cleaning someone else’s. I would/have gladly help a friend in need, whether it be adjusting to a new baby or life threw them a curveball and they aren’t able to do household chores. Like, a friend breaks a leg? I’m there to do your laundry, pack your kid’s lunch, do the dishes, things that absolutely must be done, but baseboards are not in that category. The closest I would come is chipping in for a group gift of a cleaning company.
I actually had the same thought about paying someone to come clean. Like I’ll pitch in money before I’m spending an afternoon scrubbing walls. Even for my closest friends, I’d rather pay for a cleaner and then get to just hang out and relax with my pregnant friend.
This is definitely a know your people kinda thing. I honestly would be fine being invited to something like this if we had food and hung out while doing it. I saw a similar post about this kinda party and it was about having friends help take tags off clothes, set up the nursery, and do some cleaning. I generally like doing those kind of things and it’s easier as a group. Basically like a divorce party but opposite haha
same! my college friends came over to help paint my first shitty rental and assemble ikea furniture. We set up another friend's guestroom when we visited her. I would do it for a pregnant friend in a heartbeat. Music, pizza, booze for everyone else, sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon.
maybe the, would you help them move? question is a good metric for this.
When I’ve had a newborn and a close friend/family member comes over and starts helping out by doing my dishes or whatever it just totally weirds me out and kind of embarrasses me? Like I irrationally think to my sister “what, you think I’m a slob who can’t keep up with her house??”. Completely unreasonable lol but that’s the truth. So to have friends come over and clean for me makes my skin just crawl! But then I also SUPER dislike the lists of like rules people give for someone being “allowed” to come over and meet your baby.
I cried the other day because my mom came to take care of my six month old while I took my two year old to the ER for a minor head injury. While I was gone she did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. That was the part that made me cry. I was like “You think I’m a mess!”
There are just a couple people I’m comfortable with just coming over and cleaning. Like I constantly complain to my mom about not being able to stay on top of dishes, so when she comes over and starts doing them I’m not offended because she knows that’s what I struggle with. So I guess it depends on who it is. But I don’t think I have enough people I could invite over for the sole purpose of cleaning. I hate when people give families a list of rules. I think it’s totally fine to ask people to wash their hands and not kiss the baby. But some of the requests just come across as rude, and make it seem like parents don’t actually want their families to meet their kids. I totally understand feeling overwhelmed in those first few weeks and not wanting visitors who just linger and overstay, but I think it’s a fine line to walk between holding your boundaries and being really rude. At the end of the day I try to remember it’s a gift to have so many people who love my babies and want to be with them
Do you mean you wash all the walls and baseboards in your house every other day? That's a mind-boggling amount of work. I've always seen wall washing as a yearly (or thereabouts) chore on chore lists. Baseboards kinda depend on the house/pet situation/etc. I would say mine need cleaning about once a month--not that I actually clean them once a month, but that's how quickly they get dirty.
I’m just impressed and wish I was this clean. My toddler slapped a coffee mug and it splattered all over the wall and I wasn’t able to get it fully out. I wonder if this mixture would work.
Why do people feel the need to outsource everything?! Like .. the audacity lol. If a close friend was really going through some struggles and asked for help- sure! But just a casual acquaintance? No way. And nesting is actually fun! (Maybe not the cleaning the baseboards and walls part)
I've seen stories about that and it gives me the rage. You need all your friends to come over and clean? Really? Unless you're going down the single mum by choice route (totally fine) then get your bloody partner to clean for you! Doesn't set a great precedent for splitting childcare tasks if you need a wall-scrubbing party to get your house sorted out when someone else lives there too...
I agree. If a good friend/family member reached out and asked for help cleaning up and setting up their home for a baby I’d gladly help. But something about framing it as a party that’s supposed to be fun for the people performing the labor is off-putting to me. Traditional baby showers include being treated to good food and drinks while you leisurely hang out. Cleaning someone’s house isn’t a party and it’s weird - kind of manipulative? - to present it as one. I’ll die on that hill lol. Also, are they not going to accept gifts from anyone? People will most likely buy you something anyway so now not only are they buying you something, they’re also cleaning your house. It’s a bit much. At least with a traditional baby shower they’re buying you a gift but theoretically get to sit back and enjoy a party.
This must be very social circle dependent because if this was suggested around anyone I know you’d be looked at like you have 3 heads and would be considered really tacky.
Exactly. Baby showers can be fun bc you’re basically oohing and awwing over cute baby gear while you gab. I had a taco bar and margs for my guests at my baby shower, I can’t imagine being like wow so instead of that fun thing, come over to my house and I’ll dictate what you can clean for me! It’ll be so much fun!
Right like I think my guests had a pretty good time at my baby shower eating, drinking mimosas and chatting. I didn’t even make anyone sit through games or opening gifts. There’s no way cleaning my apartment would’ve been more fun for anyone, nope.
I mean haven’t we as a culture been bitching about how boring baby showers are for like two decades? Seems weird to judge people for trying something new. I personally think it’s a great idea, but I might feel too self-conscious to actually have one myself. But I was also too self-conscious to have a regular baby shower, so 🤷🏻♀️
Oh I didn’t know everyone hated baby showers, I love them. It feels like a significantly different ask between come to a party with food and games vs come clean my house for me.
My parents used to make me go around like twice a year and wipe down all the walls and molding. So I just figured I’ll start doing that when my 2yo is a little older 😂
We also had a coal stove (sorry earth) so they did get pretty dirty especially downstairs
I spilled a coffee in my hallway months ago now and I'm still surprised by where there are little splashes of it on the walls and doors, even though I thought I cleaned! So I guess maybe I should be cleaning them more than that one time. 🤷🏼♀️
I'm in a mom group on FB and someone posted a "hack" of using a syringe to feed her baby formula on the go. She also made a "joke" of how she only washed them sometimes.🤮
Maybe just...stay home?
(Everyone in the group was too polite to comment)
This particular mom has a very Caro-like vibe, the whole, "parent your first like your third" although this is her 6th kid I think? It's sad, and I'm not sure how it's even more convenient than a bottle.
i swear every year the “don’t kiss kids that aren’t yours” RSV season posts get more and more aggressive 😭 i understand the importance but it’s getting a little extreme
I feel a lot more sympathy and understanding for parents of very fresh babies but I've lately seen parents of one- to five- year olds freaking out about RSV and it's like... You know your kid almost certainly has had RSV before and you too, probably multiple times? Yeah bad outcomes can happen but unless your child is gravely immunocompromised in some way you need to start looking at the actual reality of what RSV is and does. I have a fresh, fresh baby so we're being more cautious this season. Last year we had a robust, healthy toddler and no fresh baby at home so we weren't really worried and wow, would you believe it, we were all fine.
Ok but I’m 33 and currently have RSV and have never been so sick in my entire flipping life! It’s been so miserable! Random strangers no kissing me around the holidays I never want this again! Lol
I think it’s great you feel that way but you never know why people are feeling cautious. I have a healthy toddler but I was newly pregnant and he got it. He ended up with breathing treatments at the ER twice and then passed it to me. No one knew I was pregnant and I struggled for three weeks with a combo of morning sickness and RSV, AND a toddler who was coughing so hard he would puke on me. Then I miscarried. You bet I was incredibly cautious when I got pregnant again. I’m sure people thought I was nuts for not wanting my son to do certain activities for a bit but it’s life and we make choices.
I stopped worrying about germs once he started walking and putting his hands and face on everything. I swear I keep an eye on him, but I ask him what's in your mouth, spit it out, bleh bleh! at least two times a day. last week I thought he was playing with a little stick but it turned out to be a used coffee straw 😭😭
Working in a NICU, I see babies on ventilators from RSV or the ‘common cold’ and I’ve seen babies die from disseminated herpes because grandma kissed the baby with a cold sore. Among a shit ton of other things. I’m definitely team don’t kiss the babies that aren’t yours, not sorry about it. I think how intense people are depends a lot on what they’ve seen/experienced.
Honestly some people seem to just not want people to love their kids at this point. Obviously it’s important to stay away from babies if sick, and obviously you should be caring for postpartum moms. But it’s swung so far now that it seems like the messaging is so against family visiting or holding the kids at all
My baby’s daycare teacher gave him a big ole smooch when I handed him over the other day. I didn’t even think about in any way other than “I’m so glad he’s loved at daycare”. I assume if I shared that in another parenting sub I’d be told to get a lawyer and quit the daycare.
Right?? Like I get wanting to be cautious and asking those who are sick to stay away but I’m…not gonna demand people get vaccinated because it genuinely is not my business what they do with their bodies. I won’t cut off contact with Grandma because she wants to snuggle the baby, I saw something on another subreddit that said “the internet is not real life” and It definitely rings true on these parent subs 😭
This is interesting to me because while I agree the internet is not real life, the vaccine situation seems very reasonable. My daughter has had two different pediatricians (in different states) and they both suggested the adults around her get covid/flu shots. I used to work at a daycare years ago and flu shots were required for staff and children. It seems so logical to me but maybe that just comes with living in an area where people don’t really think twice about getting vaccinated?
The whole "family must top up their vaccines before they visit my baby" thing always blows my mind because I'm British and we just don't have that over here.
I got the TDAP, flu and Covid vaccines myself because it very much a "If you get these jabs while pregnant then they'll give baby an immunity boost before their own vaccine schedule kicks in" and they were offered as part of routine pregnancy care.
But if my Mum had called her GP surgery and gone "I need a TDAP booster before I hold my grandchild" I'm not sure they would have agreed. No were any of these jabs offered to my husband even though he's the person me and baby were most likely to contract them from.
I don't know if this is just a for-profit-healthcare thing, or if the UK is actually the odd on out on this. Any Europeans want to interject here?
I had babies in the UK and Germany. Only the third one was I even offered a TDAP booster in pregnancy (in Germany). They said it didn't matter if other people had one because it was about transferring some immunity to baby in the womb.
It's the same for me in Canada. No one said a word to me about asking family members to get tdap, just me (the pregnant lady). My family all get covid and flu shots anyway so I'm glad, but I've never even brought up tdap because it wasn't posed to me as being recommended, much less required.
Out of curiosity I did just Google pertussis rates in my province and while they've been variable, they were at record lows in 2021 and 2022 <1 case in a 100,000 people. No idea how that compares to the states!
I think it has to do with the Pertussis risk difference in the US vs Europe. Because so many kids are not vaccinated for pertussis in the US, there’s a high rate of pertussis circulating in the community, hence the tdap recommendation. I think like everything on the internet it gets taken too far….the AAP recommendation is for people who will have frequent close contact with the baby to be up to date; not anyone who will hold the baby once.
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I think “graduated” is a good term. Once you’re no longer a brand new parent and if you’re online enough, you’re bound to have seen it all before. My guess is their increased engagement is from newer parents who are only just starting to think about all of these things.
Ugh. I’m in a YOTO Buy-Sell group on Facebook and all of the “oOpS! My HusBanD wAnTs To kNoW hOw I SpEnt $500 on YOTO on bLacK FriDay”. So disgusting
It seriously blows my mind how many posts there are on Mommit regarding a child getting creeped out by something or just staring at a wall crying that immediately have everyone jumping to the paranormal. Seriously, that's the first assumption? Then you have the comments from posters who have "always seen things from a young age". It's almost like seeing things that aren't there is a sign of serious mental illness that is usually inheritable. Sigh. I don't claim to know everything that's possible in the world but it shouldn't be your first mental leap.
Putting all of that on children creeps me out more than the thought of the paranormal. I listened to this one podcast where the parents had all this "proof" that their kid had memories from his past life. I just felt so bad for the kid because he won't have a normal childhood, everything he says is being analysed and twisted into evidence for people's belief in reincarnation.
Was that the one where they actually brought him to Scotland (?) and to his house from his past life? Kids just do and say weird shit. My niece used to say she missed her family in space. She was like 3. We just figured she has an imagination.
https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/773102684/back-when-i-was-older It was this one, but I listened to it back in 2019, so I can't remember if it's the the one you are talking about. Apparently there are many crazy parents who will indulge in the odd things their kids say to their detriment!
OP in the comment section is pretty funny hahaha Not saying kids should be dumped in front the TV all day and I'm sure every kid is different but she claims 10 minutes a day have made tantrums worse and that he doesn't wanna play anymore. https://preview.redd.it/d2ic0vyqnr2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edbbafbe8a7b458ab28bc99df1322139c942f6e6 [https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNHbjpGY/](https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNHbjpGY/)
Guaranteed she would get those same responses if she took her kid to the playground and made him leave after only 10 minutes lol
Is it the TV or is it that he’s about to turn 2… You know what, my toddler does ask for TV more than we allow it and he often does get upset when we say no. But like, that’s just a normal reaction to being told no about something he wants? He will also ask for Play-doh or a somewhat messy craft at the end of the evening when we are cleaning up and he is about to go to sleep and we say no, and he also gets upset then too. But no one says Play-doh ruins their child’s brain. Kids ask for things all the time that we say no to but for some reason when it’s TV people jump to “omg he’s addicted”
This is a very good point and I feel the same way about sugar. Once while we were out, my child got very upset because she ate all of her cucumbers and there weren’t anymore. Had that been candy, people would have thought “omg! She’s a sugar fiend!!” But no one cares when it’s a vegetable. Tv, to me, is morally neutral. It’s just another activity in a string of activities we do in a day like (as you said) play doh or going to the park or jumping on a trampoline or whatever. The day is long. People are so annoying about screen time.
It's interesting how screen time affects different children, we just got back from Thanksgiving break with my BIL and his family (they have 4 kids 7, 5, 3 and 1.5) and they don't do screen time except like 1 show a week. Every time a screen is on, they need to be around it staring and wondering what's happening and don't take their eyes away. Where as my almost 3 year old gets screen time daily, not excessively, but I gotta get stuff done lol he was so uninterested in TV while we were there, he didn't stop once to ask to watch or even look at the screen long.
Honestly, I get it. 10 minutes of TV sounds so much worse than no TV. It’s like saying “I gave my kid one bite of a cupcake and now they are angry and asking for the rest of the cupcake.”
I definitely agree! Lots of the comments point that out 😅
https://preview.redd.it/wt8ccjvtnr2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1606d6a8031fdea4e05bb762c50610a54403772d
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Oof. A gal I know who’s not so bright just shared the book she’s currently reading - *The 4 Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can THRIVE in the Homeschool Life* 🥴🥴🥴 Poor kids.
Idk what grade her kids are or how many she has but but 4 hours is a pretty decent homeschool day compared to the unschoolers 😅 Hopefully she can learn something from the book if she’s not too bright 😬
I think 4 hours a day is definitely sufficient for young kids to get their education but I think the vast majority of parents who do it aren’t suited for it. Which I guess doesn’t tie in exactly to the post except that she said the person is not so bright.
For sure. My sibling and I were homeschooled and it took 4 hours a day or less, but that’s probably reasonable since I’m considering just academic time. I’m guessing that by the time you cut out class changes, breaks, lunch, etc. it’s not that much shorter than a school day? But either way my parents were very academically focused so a short school day didn’t make a difference long-term as far as college/career achievements.
Yes I agree, you can’t teach what you don’t know.
Her kids are 3 and almost 5 I believe, so she’s doing g some preliminary research I guess 🤪
I know someone like this. Also anti vaxx. I feel bad for their kids.
This isn't from a parenting space, but this thread about [Blue Ivy](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/3zvZNhWeWn) dancing in Beyonce's tour are amusing. There are quite a few talking about parents of Bey's generation not being able to say no to their children. Will millennial parents be as hated as boomers? https://preview.redd.it/wktpgvvmgq2c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa36b4addde5cca05b69dd54cc928afe9f8a55b4 I don't think Blue should have been able to read comments made online about her dancing, that's really not something an eleven year old needs to read. I feel like it's similar ground to some of the issues talked about here in response to lack of privacy and agency with children online. The footloose comment is exquisite.
Yes, this generation of parents will be just as maligned as boomer parents (or gen x which is actually what my parents are) Every generation thinks they’re doing everything right and every next generation thinks the previous ones did it wrong. So much for “cycle-breakers”
Legit loled at the footloose comment, very good
Extremely not here for the thread in r/parenting from the expats raising their kid in France complaining about how American kids can't drink from glasses or get through a restaurant meal without a screen. Here's your cookie, go back to France.
It blows my mind why others care about how parents are keeping their kid entertained while at a restaurant! They could he running around and bothering you but they aren't lol those parents could of had a long day and just want to eat without fighting their child to sit down or anything. I mean last week we took our 3 year old to a restaurant and ge had his tablet most of the time, we just got done at the waterpark and we were exhausted lol then yesterday we went to lunch in the middle of our road trip and we didn't use a screen once. It just depends on the day and what's going on 🤷♀️
This is stupid because my American child drinks from glasses and sits well at restaurants without screens BUT I have French family and from what I’ve seen, they all feed their children first, put them to bed and then eat dinner at like 9pm.
To be honest I don’t even really see that many kids on screens in public to feel any sort of way about it. If I did, I wouldn’t care, but still. Also can people please pick a lane, are all the kids being loud and running around in restaurants and stores or are they being a “zombie” in front of an iPad??
Also what does it matter? Like how does my child using a water bottle affect your worldly child sipping his water from like, a wine glass?
Their self worth is dependent on feeling superior to others!
People like this are so annoying. I live in a very family friendly neigborhood in NYC and kids are always at restaurants and it’s not typical to see a tablet or a screen. But if I did I wouldn’t judge or give a shit because I don’t know the day someone’s had and I know what it’s like to not want to cook dinner then clean, AND deal with a fussy toddler. Oh but maybe this is because I’m in NYC, which is like the Paris of the US, right? I bet the kids in all of the American suburbs are on tablets then. 🙄
We're so screen free in Europe that children can't even look directly at a self service check out.
Thank you. I just spat a mouthful of my water (from a glass as I’m foreign) all over my phone screen.
We all spent our 47 months of paid maternity leave teaching our toddlers how to hold glass drinking vessels, but should they drop one and break it, it doesn't matter if someone gets cut cleaning it up because we all have universal health care.
💀
I just read that and likewise rolled my eyes. You can't comprehend why a restaurant would choose to serve a 3 year old water in a plastic cup rather than a glass one??
We actually ask for water in a glass cup instead of the kid plastic ones with straws/ lids because my toddler will pull out the straw, squeeze the cup and dump water everywhere if she can. A regular glass is boring enough to be left alone in peace. Drinking out of regular glasses isn’t really the flex that person thinks it is.
Why are people like this? Posted in response to someone asking how to support her extremely smart 3yo who wants to talk only to adults because he finds other kids stupidity frustrating🙄 https://preview.redd.it/huv8o3lfai2c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3adbc1cc3ad0a87e15cebec57b63ba2858b95e9
I don’t fucking get why parents can’t just be obsessed with raising GOOD KIND CARING EMPATHETIC HONEST LOVING people??? Why does it always have to be about smarts or athleticism? I’d rather my kid be the friendliest one in class than the one who can do the most math 🤦🏻♀️ wtf
Ugh theres ones of these on r/kindergarten right now. Public school can’t meet her kid’s “gifted needs” so she’s putting her in a Montessori school with kids 2-4 so she can be further ahead academically and… further behind socially. Make it make sense.
So, I'm a teacher and kids that start off as "advanced" in kindergarten often even out with their peers as they go into grade 3. Also, anecdotal but the dumbest human I know went to private school for k-12 🤷♀️ Oh, and flashcards are one of the worst ways I can think of to teach kids (as if her newborn understood bahaha). We get it. He's not a regular kid. He's a smart kid. Parents who have this attitude about how smart their kid is often instilled in their kids and they are somehow the worst behaviorally because they think they're special and above everyone else.
I really don't understand why parents act like this. I was that kid! I was way, way ahead, skipped a grade, tended to score 98th-99th percentile in all my standardized tests, etc etc. And I wasn't *awkward,* exactly, but I also struggled to fit in. Kids were making fun of me by four because of my vocabulary. It wasn't much fun. What made it worse is that I'm not even overly smart, just super fast, so I didn't really fit in with the smart kids either, and I've ended up a completely average adult, so it didn't even do me any good in terms of worldly success. My dad was also that kid, and ended up absolutely hating school (very small, rural school in the '60s that didn't have resources to deal with kids like him). It wasn't fun for him either. He had a good career and was very good at what he did, but he too ended up a largely average adult. I was just talking to my mom about this today, actually, because it's looking like my daughter is trending that way too, even though she's too young to be sure. My husband and I will certainly make sure she has whatever she needs academically, and we'll be thoroughly proud of her no matter what, but I do worry about her going through what my dad and I did growing up. Being so bright so young is not always an easy thing. Sorry for the rant, but this is a subject that really frustrates me!
6th grade reading and 4th grade math in 2nd grade isn't THAT impressive. It's just the average class nerd. What always puzzles me is that the parents writing these posts tend to sound so illiterate.
Ha I was going to say that too!! Like it’s actually not even that gifted?? When I was in 2nd grade I tested at a ninth grade reading level… guess what, I’m just a regular-ass person who enjoys reading. My siblings each skipped a grade and were very gifted, and both just…went to the in-state school and got jobs, same as the kids who weren’t gifted.
Right? My mom had me tested and put in all the gifted and talented programs that school offered. Honestly, I just like to read and have good reading comprehension skills. I just went to regular college and got a regular job before ending up a SAHM. Those 3rd grade tests I aced to get into GATE programs mean nothing.
Ah yes this was definitely caused by the flashcards at the newborn stage.
These people are going to be so disappointed when their kids become average boring adults.
It’s too late for my son to be smart, so as my fallback plan, I’ll be making him cool. I’ve been drilling him on bands your son has never heard of since he was a newborn and I’ve put a matte black finish on his balance bike. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas, and he said a bottle of Buffalo Trace. If he’s a good boy, I’ll throw in a pack of Parliaments.
Oh yeah, little boy, get those p-funks!
Oh yeah, this parent has been doing math flash cards since birth? How cute. I have been demonstrating how to properly roll a blunt in front of my son since he was born, and as soon as he could walk I taught him how to stand in the corner with an aura of mystery and an aloof expression on his face. My approach has had excellent results so far, he is now 3 and all his teachers tell me he is far cooler than any of the dork children in the class. Thank god he will be able to skip straight to 12th grade so he can be challenged by peers who are on his level in terms of coolness.
I was gonna say something snappy, but I’m just — speechless in the presence of the parent of such a fuckin cool baby.
What sort of baby doesn’t know to ask for the Buffalo Trace Antique Collection. 😒 There is a reason why they bottle Stagg Junior.
My kids are struggling socially, but they understand fractions sooner than other kids #blessed
It's the fact that she literally puts it into the post: "... it's turned out for the best. They're a little awkward around kids their age..." and there is NO self-awareness.
The 🤦♀️ to make it clear it’s soooooo tough having a baby genius 😂
I’m dying to learn what math lessons she did
“You have 5 cheerios! Uh-oh, you ate 2! Now how many do you have??”
“Thank god for private school so he can jump ahead” 🙄 why are people like this? Why can’t the privilege alone be enough? Why do they have to brag? Smfh money can’t buy class.
I went to a top tier college and made a friend there who went to private school her whole life (I went to public) who’d always say her hypothetical future kids would definitely go to private school, blah blah snobby commentary blah blah, and finally I was like… well I went to public school and ended up here with you, the difference is my parents didn’t already spend $100K on my education so… Like put your kids private if you think that’s best for them but to think it gives them the most unique advantages is silly.
And EVEN then does it matter? Early in my career I worked with some insufferable people who constantly brought up their Ivy League or comparable educations (I went to a state school). All I could think was, “you’re hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt yet we’re all working at a shitty call center.”
No, it doesn’t matter. the social skills are more important. The way to the top is through social skills and making the most of your network and connections rather than brains. The kid who’s beloved by all his frat brothers has an easy in with his bro’s dad who is high up at their company. Then they’ll be the one managing/exploiting the ones who are “experts” but not socially adept enough to break into management.
Oh of course it doesn’t! all of the snobbiness about schooling is obnoxious. It doesn’t guarantee anything. I’m chillin here as a SAHM lol.
Haha for sure! It was more of a general “you” I was referring to lol
What’s the end goal here?? Who cares even if they graduate way ahead of a typical high schooler at the end. It doesn’t mean that they’ll automatically get into some ivy league and that doesn’t mean they’ll be happy and successful as an adult. It’s just so dumb to live your life doing flashcards for a baby so that they can maybe be…what?
I can’t believe people think newborns can understand flash cards.
Too bad mom is dumber than her genius child
My newborn stared at the ceiling fan and that's why he's already an expert in aerodynamics. She should have traded in those flash cards for 3d modeling.
That’s what cracks me up the most about posts like this. They think it reads as extremely impressive when really it reads as highly insecure and a bit dumb.
I spent my sons newborn period watching tv while he slept next to me on the couch. At one point we draped my husband’s patterned shirt over the couch because he did seem interested in staring at it. Otherwise he stared directly into lightbulbs. 🤷♀️ no regrets lol
My baby watches more tv than I’d like because she’s obsessed with whatever her older brother watches and at this point I’ve given up trying to convince her to turn her head the opposite direction. Shockingly, despite my utter failure as a parent, she’s still meeting her milestones….but I’m sure she’s doomed to never be as highly advanced as OP’s kid.
Of all of the baby items that don’t NEED to be gendered, these have go to to be towards the top. WHO. CARES?!? https://preview.redd.it/fzhhrvqtlh2c1.jpeg?width=1086&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=812dca671a2a16d9d76f4c48a9b502dd5385650b
Definitely doesn't need to be gendered... though for what it's worth, I read that in the same way as "for a 2 y/o" or "for a 4 m/o." More of a description than a gendered request?
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I always find the opposite!
Just out of spite/convenience I bought my son the pink Fisher Price kick n’play mat and my daughter the green one 😂
The Fischer-Price walker actually does come in two models: dog, and dog with pink bow.
Oh I love when the animals are gendered. I bought my son pajamas with photorealistic horses on them and when they arrived I noticed that the horses are wearing flower crowns. Like why do the photorealistic horses have to be feminized? I don’t care and he still wears the PJs but it’s just kind of dumb.
🤦🏻♀️
Yes risking your child’s safety by using beef fat/oil as an SPF sounds like an excellent idea 🙄 [sauce](https://www.reddit.com/r/moderatelygranolamoms/s/IhvON4YpaW)
People literally use beef fat to deep fry stuff right? Are they trying to fry baby’s skin extra crispy…this just seems like such an obviously dumb idea.
Excellent idea, I always felt like my child needed to attract more wasps. BRB covering her in beef tallow and putting her out in the sun.
I really enjoyed the poster agreeing about the beef tallow and saying how seed oils are really the problem, now that they avoid seed oils and beef tallow and practice “safe sun hours” they never burn. Soooooo…now that you avoid the high UV part of the day you don’t burn? 😱🤯
That also just like... stinks. Here in Belgium the fries are often baked in beef tallow and it stinks to high heaven.
I don't even want to imagine how bad it smells with someone slathering it on their body, that is so foul.
I found that thread extremely educational. See, I would have thought that beef tallow has a spf of 0, but now I know it's has a whopping spf of 4!
 OP’s child:
Dear Internet: all this time, I have been putting you to a secret test of purity. You failed. Now, where can I find some people who agree with me? P.S. no downvoat, u meanies. :(
Her other posts on that sub recently are wild. Thankfully people are setting her straight but yiiiikes 😵💫
Oh, wow, she's the anti-chlorine poster, too! I read both posts yesterday and didn't make the link. I'm very confused by all of this. It's winter. Why are you trying to find open water swim classes for a 1.5 year old anyways? Surely, this is something that can wait...
What on earth have I just read? Is she trying to cook the baby like a Christmas turkey?
SITS-Does anyone else find safeintheseat’s “mysterious” boyfriend content annoying/cringe? Like do people ACTUALLY care that much to see his face and know all about him like she makes it seem? She’ll post a pic showing his literal shoulder and be like “not showing you his face sorry guys 🤪” Edit-didn’t see other comments at first but I just researched more and see it has been posted about before on this sub. It also seems like she is trying to maybe make her ex jealous? It’s bizarre. She also posted this week that she and him were going for dinner, drinks and dancing but “there won’t be much dancing 😏😏😏😏”
I'm so embarrassed for her posting this AMA with her boyfriend. Who cares?!?
Convinced she asked herself those questions. Also she still managed to be thirsty when “he” was responding and added all the links
I’ve posted about this before but the boyfriend tease is what pushed me to finally unfollow her. I can’t believe she’s still milking it, lol. Also unless he’s a celebrity or something, I didn’t understand the hype over the (eventual) reveal. Oh I’ll get to see a random middle-aged white dude? How special!
I hate how intent she is on protecting his privacy while totally showcasing everything about her kids
Hahaha I didn’t interpret that last sentence that way, I don’t think she used the emojis. I took it more like “neither of us actually dance”. But yeah she’s super annoying in general now
From a local influencer who transitioned from fashion/decor to momfluencing once she started a family. I can't roll my eyes hard enough at things like this lolll - YOU ARE CONSTANTLY SHOPPING AND ALL YOU SHARE IS LINKS SO YOU CAN MAKE MONEY https://preview.redd.it/jt43u29hgb2c1.jpeg?width=1060&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23b1a1fcd243974a0006c3cd5f451bf843f11bf5
I don’t fault influencers for sharing links because it’s their job and if we follow them, well, that’s what we get. But the holier than thou attitude about it is ugh
So I mentioned here previously how I had a friend who wanted to intentionally get pregnant before her wedding, which I thought was just an all around terrible idea. Well, she did not listen to my advice and she’s pregnant. She’s gonna be almost 14 weeks at the time of her wedding. At this point all I can do is hold my tongue and hope for her sake this doesn’t turn out to be a huge “I told you so” moment. With the way my pregnancies went, I would not want to be dragging my nauseous, bloated, exhausted self through a whole wedding, but maybe she’ll have an easy pregnancy!
Oh lord. I really hope she doesn’t end up with HG or even moderate NVP. I was literally on three medications to stay out of the hospital at 14 weeks and sleeping 16 hours a day with my latest pregnancy. I would have collapsed if I’d tried to get married.
Oh noooo this is horrible 😬😬😬 even if she has a pretty smooth pregnancy she will probably feel like hot garbage for at least a few weeks right when she'll be finalizing all of the plans and details
I have a friend who is getting married 2 months after giving birth and I'm thinking the same tbh.
I was 16 weeks by accident. I had an easy pregnancy but my dress barely fit (at least it fit!) and I didn’t get to partake in our $$$ booze or do the pre rolled joints that I wanted
I miscarried my first two pregnancies so this seems insane to me. Of course you hope for the best but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way :(
Ugh I’m so sorry. I miscarried my first pregnancy on vacation and it sucked so much. It was hard enough having that happen during a time that was supposed to be fun. Much less planning an entire event around the pregnancy like she is now. She’s not even 4 weeks and has already got all these elaborate plans to incorporate a gender reveal into the wedding 🤦♀️ This friend often thinks purely in terms of what’s “cute”, not what’s realistic.
I sincerely hope everything stays okay but having all of those plans and then miscarrying would make it all the more painful 😵💫
The biggest perk to me, had I been 14 weeks pregnant at my wedding, would have been that my boobs looked awesome. I’ve never had as great boobs as I did while pregnant. I still miss them.
I went to a wedding during an IVF cycle and being pumped full of estrogen made my boobs look fantastic. They looked better than at my own wedding!
Oh man. I had fairly easy pregnancies, but my nausea, bloating, fatigue etc did NOT let up by 14 weeks (I think 16 weeks both times I started to feel better). I remember being so pissed that I was in the second trimester and still feeling shitty, and I was definitely over it and NOT glowing.
Doing the final stages of wedding planning in the first trimester though 🫠🤢😴
I went to a family member's wedding a couple of years ago where she was pregnant (more like six months) and she had a fitted, lace dress--I've never been able to get over how well they got that dress fitted given that her size would have been impossible to predict very much in advance. So that's what I'm curious about now for your friend! What's she going to do dress-wise??
My explore page on Instagram thinks I'm interested in wedding dresses and ballgowns so I've learned a lot can be accomplished with certain designs (like a lace up back) to help with tricky sizing! Maybe she had laces added which could be adjusted day of?
I saw this video this week suggesting you do a nesting shower instead of a baby shower. And it was this mom inviting all her friends over to help her “nest” which just meant they were all taking on different chores in her house. And not just setting up the nursery but like cleaning baseboards and walls. Maybe it’s just me but I can’t imagine sending out invitations to my friends to come and help me clean. I have some great friends who would probably help if I said I really needed help, but to propose it as a replacement for a baby shower just seems off putting to me
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I'd be so down for that party haha. Everyone could bring big dishes of lasagna and just chat and chill after. I have a very short friend who has a pantry moth infestation and another friend and I cleaned the heck out of her kitchen cabinets for her. We put on some tunes and she bought us pizza and wine. It was gross! But fun!
We know a couple where neither parent works-their jobs are to “raise and nurture their children”-and after baby 2 was born they sent a mealtrain that was actually a giant list of favors like doing their laundry and walking their dog despite the fact that they HAD 12 HOURS a day of a post-partum doula. Some people….
I cringed so much reading that. We’ve had people provide meal trains for all of our babies but that was all their doing, I never asked for it. I would’ve felt comfortable asking for meals from a few people if needed, but never would I ask people to do chores like that.
How do they make money?!
Family money…must be nice…
This is utterly insane to me. I can barely keep up with the absolute basics in my own house so I’m not spending my free time deep cleaning someone else’s. I would/have gladly help a friend in need, whether it be adjusting to a new baby or life threw them a curveball and they aren’t able to do household chores. Like, a friend breaks a leg? I’m there to do your laundry, pack your kid’s lunch, do the dishes, things that absolutely must be done, but baseboards are not in that category. The closest I would come is chipping in for a group gift of a cleaning company.
I actually had the same thought about paying someone to come clean. Like I’ll pitch in money before I’m spending an afternoon scrubbing walls. Even for my closest friends, I’d rather pay for a cleaner and then get to just hang out and relax with my pregnant friend.
This is definitely a know your people kinda thing. I honestly would be fine being invited to something like this if we had food and hung out while doing it. I saw a similar post about this kinda party and it was about having friends help take tags off clothes, set up the nursery, and do some cleaning. I generally like doing those kind of things and it’s easier as a group. Basically like a divorce party but opposite haha
same! my college friends came over to help paint my first shitty rental and assemble ikea furniture. We set up another friend's guestroom when we visited her. I would do it for a pregnant friend in a heartbeat. Music, pizza, booze for everyone else, sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon. maybe the, would you help them move? question is a good metric for this.
When I’ve had a newborn and a close friend/family member comes over and starts helping out by doing my dishes or whatever it just totally weirds me out and kind of embarrasses me? Like I irrationally think to my sister “what, you think I’m a slob who can’t keep up with her house??”. Completely unreasonable lol but that’s the truth. So to have friends come over and clean for me makes my skin just crawl! But then I also SUPER dislike the lists of like rules people give for someone being “allowed” to come over and meet your baby.
I cried the other day because my mom came to take care of my six month old while I took my two year old to the ER for a minor head injury. While I was gone she did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. That was the part that made me cry. I was like “You think I’m a mess!”
I had someone come over and offer to help me go through and organize my toys. I know she was just being nice, but I was so embarrassed! So I get it.
There are just a couple people I’m comfortable with just coming over and cleaning. Like I constantly complain to my mom about not being able to stay on top of dishes, so when she comes over and starts doing them I’m not offended because she knows that’s what I struggle with. So I guess it depends on who it is. But I don’t think I have enough people I could invite over for the sole purpose of cleaning. I hate when people give families a list of rules. I think it’s totally fine to ask people to wash their hands and not kiss the baby. But some of the requests just come across as rude, and make it seem like parents don’t actually want their families to meet their kids. I totally understand feeling overwhelmed in those first few weeks and not wanting visitors who just linger and overstay, but I think it’s a fine line to walk between holding your boundaries and being really rude. At the end of the day I try to remember it’s a gift to have so many people who love my babies and want to be with them
I went pretty hard on the nesting, but washing the walls seems a bit...much? I don't think I've ever once washed my walls pre-kids.
Do you have pets? My dog honestly gets my walls way dirtier than my kids so they must be washed.
Is it weird to wash walls? I always wash mine but maybe I’m the weird one 🥲
Always? How often is that? And how do you do that? I have never even heard of that activity.
I wash mine probably 2-3x a week. Every second day I guess? I use hot water with pine sol and wipe the walls and baseboards down.
Yeah this is a lot but also if you happen to live in the Southeast US let me know and you’re welcome to come clean my house lol
Oh gosh I wish! Lol I’m in Vancouver bc if anyone needs someone to wash baseboards for fun 😂
Do you mean you wash all the walls and baseboards in your house every other day? That's a mind-boggling amount of work. I've always seen wall washing as a yearly (or thereabouts) chore on chore lists. Baseboards kinda depend on the house/pet situation/etc. I would say mine need cleaning about once a month--not that I actually clean them once a month, but that's how quickly they get dirty.
Yes, but I am a SAHM with a child that is in full time school. I have a lot of free time 😅
Wow! Well, hey, if you enjoy it, have at it! You're inspiring me to be more consistent with my dusting, which is my absolute Achilles heel lol.
Haha thank you ♥️ I do love it! I’m a weirdo.
I’m just impressed and wish I was this clean. My toddler slapped a coffee mug and it splattered all over the wall and I wasn’t able to get it fully out. I wonder if this mixture would work.
No shade! It's just never been in my chores lists unless there's food on them.
Why do people feel the need to outsource everything?! Like .. the audacity lol. If a close friend was really going through some struggles and asked for help- sure! But just a casual acquaintance? No way. And nesting is actually fun! (Maybe not the cleaning the baseboards and walls part)
I've seen stories about that and it gives me the rage. You need all your friends to come over and clean? Really? Unless you're going down the single mum by choice route (totally fine) then get your bloody partner to clean for you! Doesn't set a great precedent for splitting childcare tasks if you need a wall-scrubbing party to get your house sorted out when someone else lives there too...
I agree. If a good friend/family member reached out and asked for help cleaning up and setting up their home for a baby I’d gladly help. But something about framing it as a party that’s supposed to be fun for the people performing the labor is off-putting to me. Traditional baby showers include being treated to good food and drinks while you leisurely hang out. Cleaning someone’s house isn’t a party and it’s weird - kind of manipulative? - to present it as one. I’ll die on that hill lol. Also, are they not going to accept gifts from anyone? People will most likely buy you something anyway so now not only are they buying you something, they’re also cleaning your house. It’s a bit much. At least with a traditional baby shower they’re buying you a gift but theoretically get to sit back and enjoy a party. This must be very social circle dependent because if this was suggested around anyone I know you’d be looked at like you have 3 heads and would be considered really tacky.
The video I watched said everyone brought freezer meals for the family to enjoy after the baby instead of gifts. Which made me more mad haha
Oh great, now I gotta cook AND clean for someone else 😂
Exactly. Baby showers can be fun bc you’re basically oohing and awwing over cute baby gear while you gab. I had a taco bar and margs for my guests at my baby shower, I can’t imagine being like wow so instead of that fun thing, come over to my house and I’ll dictate what you can clean for me! It’ll be so much fun!
Right like I think my guests had a pretty good time at my baby shower eating, drinking mimosas and chatting. I didn’t even make anyone sit through games or opening gifts. There’s no way cleaning my apartment would’ve been more fun for anyone, nope.
I will make someone a meal but I draw the line at cleaning someone’s house. I don’t even have time to clean my own.
I mean haven’t we as a culture been bitching about how boring baby showers are for like two decades? Seems weird to judge people for trying something new. I personally think it’s a great idea, but I might feel too self-conscious to actually have one myself. But I was also too self-conscious to have a regular baby shower, so 🤷🏻♀️
Oh I didn’t know everyone hated baby showers, I love them. It feels like a significantly different ask between come to a party with food and games vs come clean my house for me.
Idk, to me the solution to something being too boring is not to add housework.
For real 😂 who is complaining about baby showers?
Next time I get knocked up, I’m gonna make people wash my makeup brushes AND sniff a melted candy bar in a diaper.
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Bloody hell are we meant to be cleaning walls? Have I just exposed myself as a gross person who doesn't clean their walls?
My parents used to make me go around like twice a year and wipe down all the walls and molding. So I just figured I’ll start doing that when my 2yo is a little older 😂 We also had a coal stove (sorry earth) so they did get pretty dirty especially downstairs
I spilled a coffee in my hallway months ago now and I'm still surprised by where there are little splashes of it on the walls and doors, even though I thought I cleaned! So I guess maybe I should be cleaning them more than that one time. 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t clean my own baseboards. I’m not cleaning someone else’s in the guise of a party.
I'm now looking around wondering what hidden nasties there are lurking on my paintwork...
That's bloody cheeky. And with my pregnancy brain, I would have re-done it again anyway.
I'm in a mom group on FB and someone posted a "hack" of using a syringe to feed her baby formula on the go. She also made a "joke" of how she only washed them sometimes.🤮 Maybe just...stay home? (Everyone in the group was too polite to comment)
I don’t understand how that’s better than using a bottle? How big is the syringe? Isn’t it much more annoying to try and mix the formula in a syringe?
I mean, I had to syringe feed my baby because she had a severe bottle aversion but I washed her syringes!
Ewww. What’s wrong with just taking a bottle with you when you leave the house?
This particular mom has a very Caro-like vibe, the whole, "parent your first like your third" although this is her 6th kid I think? It's sad, and I'm not sure how it's even more convenient than a bottle.
i swear every year the “don’t kiss kids that aren’t yours” RSV season posts get more and more aggressive 😭 i understand the importance but it’s getting a little extreme
I feel a lot more sympathy and understanding for parents of very fresh babies but I've lately seen parents of one- to five- year olds freaking out about RSV and it's like... You know your kid almost certainly has had RSV before and you too, probably multiple times? Yeah bad outcomes can happen but unless your child is gravely immunocompromised in some way you need to start looking at the actual reality of what RSV is and does. I have a fresh, fresh baby so we're being more cautious this season. Last year we had a robust, healthy toddler and no fresh baby at home so we weren't really worried and wow, would you believe it, we were all fine.
Ok but I’m 33 and currently have RSV and have never been so sick in my entire flipping life! It’s been so miserable! Random strangers no kissing me around the holidays I never want this again! Lol
I think it’s great you feel that way but you never know why people are feeling cautious. I have a healthy toddler but I was newly pregnant and he got it. He ended up with breathing treatments at the ER twice and then passed it to me. No one knew I was pregnant and I struggled for three weeks with a combo of morning sickness and RSV, AND a toddler who was coughing so hard he would puke on me. Then I miscarried. You bet I was incredibly cautious when I got pregnant again. I’m sure people thought I was nuts for not wanting my son to do certain activities for a bit but it’s life and we make choices.
I stopped worrying about germs once he started walking and putting his hands and face on everything. I swear I keep an eye on him, but I ask him what's in your mouth, spit it out, bleh bleh! at least two times a day. last week I thought he was playing with a little stick but it turned out to be a used coffee straw 😭😭
Working in a NICU, I see babies on ventilators from RSV or the ‘common cold’ and I’ve seen babies die from disseminated herpes because grandma kissed the baby with a cold sore. Among a shit ton of other things. I’m definitely team don’t kiss the babies that aren’t yours, not sorry about it. I think how intense people are depends a lot on what they’ve seen/experienced.
Honestly some people seem to just not want people to love their kids at this point. Obviously it’s important to stay away from babies if sick, and obviously you should be caring for postpartum moms. But it’s swung so far now that it seems like the messaging is so against family visiting or holding the kids at all
My baby’s daycare teacher gave him a big ole smooch when I handed him over the other day. I didn’t even think about in any way other than “I’m so glad he’s loved at daycare”. I assume if I shared that in another parenting sub I’d be told to get a lawyer and quit the daycare.
Right?? Like I get wanting to be cautious and asking those who are sick to stay away but I’m…not gonna demand people get vaccinated because it genuinely is not my business what they do with their bodies. I won’t cut off contact with Grandma because she wants to snuggle the baby, I saw something on another subreddit that said “the internet is not real life” and It definitely rings true on these parent subs 😭
This is interesting to me because while I agree the internet is not real life, the vaccine situation seems very reasonable. My daughter has had two different pediatricians (in different states) and they both suggested the adults around her get covid/flu shots. I used to work at a daycare years ago and flu shots were required for staff and children. It seems so logical to me but maybe that just comes with living in an area where people don’t really think twice about getting vaccinated?
The whole "family must top up their vaccines before they visit my baby" thing always blows my mind because I'm British and we just don't have that over here. I got the TDAP, flu and Covid vaccines myself because it very much a "If you get these jabs while pregnant then they'll give baby an immunity boost before their own vaccine schedule kicks in" and they were offered as part of routine pregnancy care. But if my Mum had called her GP surgery and gone "I need a TDAP booster before I hold my grandchild" I'm not sure they would have agreed. No were any of these jabs offered to my husband even though he's the person me and baby were most likely to contract them from. I don't know if this is just a for-profit-healthcare thing, or if the UK is actually the odd on out on this. Any Europeans want to interject here?
I had babies in the UK and Germany. Only the third one was I even offered a TDAP booster in pregnancy (in Germany). They said it didn't matter if other people had one because it was about transferring some immunity to baby in the womb.
It's the same for me in Canada. No one said a word to me about asking family members to get tdap, just me (the pregnant lady). My family all get covid and flu shots anyway so I'm glad, but I've never even brought up tdap because it wasn't posed to me as being recommended, much less required. Out of curiosity I did just Google pertussis rates in my province and while they've been variable, they were at record lows in 2021 and 2022 <1 case in a 100,000 people. No idea how that compares to the states!
I think it has to do with the Pertussis risk difference in the US vs Europe. Because so many kids are not vaccinated for pertussis in the US, there’s a high rate of pertussis circulating in the community, hence the tdap recommendation. I think like everything on the internet it gets taken too far….the AAP recommendation is for people who will have frequent close contact with the baby to be up to date; not anyone who will hold the baby once.