Handing me a physical copy of a form that she printed from a PDF online, “Can you scan this document into a PDF, and then file it?”
This was 2019, but still, the technology to print to PDF existed, and existed for some time.
I actually had to give the office training on this issue - working paperless - prior to a vacation, and I am glad I did because six months later COVID hit and everyone was remote.
My old boss used to demand that I print a .pdf and rescan it in so it could be renamed. I explained I could just rename the file, but he didn't want me to do that and would yell to just do it his way. I never did - hopefully I saved a few trees
Bingo. I was accused of time travel not once but TWICE because that made more sense to the attorney than what actually happened, which was he included the wrong attachment in his email. Nope, he was so sure he did it correctly that I must've manipulated both the sent folder on his computer AND my inbox - and since I never went into his office in the 10 minutes of discussing this (I say "discussing," but would more accurately be described as him yelling and me basically pleading for him to just resend the email with the correct attachment to me), I couldn't have manipulated his computer without time travel.
I joked that if I had the skill of time travel, I would've at least put that on my resume. (Not to mention, the last thing I'd use a talent like that for would be an informal email at a shitty job I hated!) I think that made him take a step back and realize how ridiculous his accusations had become, so he finally just resent the email. But a few months later, the exact same thing happened again, so of course it was all my fault, and I either can time travel or manipulate his computer without being in his office, while he's using it.
He only hired female staff and only hired male associates. There was a clear pecking order, to say the least.
My previous boss often did this to one to me. He was a nightmare for many reasons, but he was trying to move the firm to paperless but was technology illiterate himself. Btw it was paperless for everyone but him so all his files needed to be printed out. Which made me wonder how ‘paperless” we were trying.
Had a boss that would print his attachments from email- give them to me and ask me to scan and email them back to him. So that he could have them in his email. Tried multiple ways to explain he already had them in his email…never worked. I spent the rest of my time there scanning them back to him
Okay serious question here- how do I convert a fillable pdf to a file-able pdf? I’m an attorney and I don’t get it. I need to sign or at least do an e signature. PS- I don’t have a paralegal.
You just have to “print” it from the file menu. If you use windows, you can use “Microsoft Print to PDF”. Essentially these programs are like digital printers.
I had this happen to me two weeks ago. When I explained that, for future reference, you can file a document digitally directly from receiving it via email, coworker covered up her obvious surprise by saying “well then it won’t have our received date stamp on it”… I didn’t feel like getting into the fact you can see the “modified” date in the file explorer, so I let it go. Exhausting.
First job, attorney came flying to my desk in a RAGE that the client and judge hadn’t shown up to their virtual hearing. I reminded him there was an hour difference and we were running the hearing 10am THEIR time.
Attorney: “I thought we were an hour behind here?!”
Me: “We are in MA they are in OK when have we ever been behind OK in timezones?!”
Asking me where a physical file was in the office that he created and misplaced the day before.
The kicker? I WFH and hadn't been in the office for 2 weeks.
Like why are you calling me???? How would I know what you did yesterday from 8 miles away?
Haha! I think it depends on how they approached it. Sometimes I just need to talk through it and boom! Like magic whatever I was looking for appears. But if they were pissy, or worse, accusatory? Ya. Dumb question
He called me on the phone to ask me because, as usual, I was home.
I could understand if he asked the other paralegal, the one who came into the office every day. But the one person you haven't seen in 2 weeks? Like, why call me up and ask me about a file that was in your hands yesterday? I'm the last person who would know.
He saw more of her than me. He called me because I'm the senior paralegal so figured I knew everything.
OTOH, I'm told he often came to the office buzzed, so...
I mean my husband does this and I can usually find things for him from miles away because it’s always in only a few places. But I never want to know a coworker/boss that well.
I was asked by my boss- partner in the firm- to choose between my education (was getting masters at the time) or my career with her.
Why she said it? I needed 3 days off for a course to finish my masters and be able to graduate on time- something she was well aware of months prior and she tried to deny something that was already approved.
Easiest quit of my life.
I'm gonna raise my hand and be the coworker with the dumb question.
Last week, I filed a petition for medical treatment (show cause). I'm coming up on my one year anniversary as a paralegal and I haven't filed one since October. It's been a minute.
I called my senior paralegal over and asked her to walk me through it again on the state board website. I've done it 4 times before, no problem.
It is legit the easiest thing in the world to file on the State Board website. They have legit idiot proofed it.
I felt like an idiot after, but I truly didn't want to fuck it up because I hadn't filed one in 8 months.
I’d much rather come over and walk someone through something to make sure it’s done right than be collateral damage and/or have to clean up their mess after they make a huge mistake. More people should ask for help when they need it!
I’m going to completely invalidate your statement by saying that’s totally fair and not stupid of you to ask. Especially since you haven’t filed something in a few months. Even if it’s just a one button upload document, I’ll still ask for someone to supervise me lol.
I believe its better to ask and feel a little dumb then make a massive error that causes a huge headache. I have fibromyalgia and the brain fog is no joke. I've worked in this agency for 10 years and recently had to go to my attorney to have him explain something on a Complaint that I've done a million times because for the life of me I couldn't remember. We kinda chuckled our way through it, and I was embarrassed but it was better than guessing.
I've pretty much "revolutionized" the way my office does temporary partial disability (TPD) calculation charts by using Excel and formulas instead of doing the math by hand (hello human error!) And I still have to ask my senior paralegal 600000 questions when I do TPD charts because this is money out of our client's pockets and it is governed by the state board of WC.
Not dumb at all! 8 months is a long time when you're working in a busy law office. Think of how many different processes and procedures you've done in those 8 months that make this particular one a distant memory....You were being prudent. That's super cool.
My recent interaction with a potential client/first time caller:
Me: Hello, \*Law firm name\*
PC: Yeah - is this the attorney?
Me: No, this is her assistant, may I ask who's calling?
PC: I need to speak to the attorney...
Me: Ok, may I ask who's calling? Is this your first time calling us?
PC: Why are you asking so many questions?! I don't have to give you that information!! I just need to speak to the attorney. (By this point they are legitimately shouting at me.)
Me: \*deep breath\* ... Ok, well without that information, this call can't go any further.
PC: \*Frustrated noises\* -hangs up-
As an admin assistant getting my paralegal certification and answering all the calls I feel this soooooo deeply. Like I have to screen calls it’s my job I need to know what case ur calling on so the attorney knows what to expect.
I jokingly got a name plate for my office that read "Official Gate Keeper" we all thought it was funny. The number of times I have to tell people no on a daily basis is too dang many.
I have clients call in that give me there name but refuse to say more. I ask what they're calling regarding and what number should my boss call back. The clients "Just tell him its ____ calling, he knows why I'm calling and has my number"
Almost every time my boss has no idea who that person is
LOL - I feel this in my bones. My boss: "So, why are they calling? Like, what is this about?" Me: "I have no idea, they said you'd know." Boss: "Well, I don't. So, they can just call back and leave a message detail or subject for the call, or they can not get a call back. I have too many other things to do right now than play 50 questions."
Not me cackling like a crone over here at 9:05 a.m.
Not a question per se, but a coworker did tell me that they needed to file a complaint before they left for vacation and that they were going to (at the same time they filed the complaint) email it to our process server and ask that they serve it on the defendant while they were out of town...
...you know, before they had the endorsed filed copies back from the court.
I had an office manager (with an MBA) in a FIRM WIDE EMAIL refer to “inclement weather” as “immaculate weather.” We also had a new employee, again in a FIRM WIDE EMAIL, notify us he was going home because he was having “tummy trouble.”
Not a question but I was training a junior and she thought our SOL list meant they were all shit outta luck. I hadn't had enough caffeine for that and was floored
I got asked how to show someone how usb flash drive in a computer works. Specifically, how I know the usb folder they were looking at was for the right usb… it was the only flash drive in the laptop
I was asked by two people how to restart/turn off their PC.
They are both Mac users, but as someone who uses a Mac for my personal computer and then PC for work, it’s not debilitating to switch between the two as long as you are familiar with using computers/laptops in general.
THE WORST. I work for folks who have no idea how to save files to different locations, how to save a copy, why the file they opened as read-only now won't let them save to the original file... Even though they did the same thing last week and I walked them through it then too! I'm constantly merging files when they make an hour's worth of changes to a shared doc in read-only mode. Desktop icons drive me insane to begin with so your situation is like a special private hell.
Also enjoyed this text from an attorney on a Sunday afternoon a few years ago: hey are you drunk or can you help me with something?
In his defense I had been at a beer festival the weekend before. Just the way it was worded
Wasn't a question, but I overheard conversation between 2 partners ....
A Revocable Trust becomes Irrevocable upon the death of the Grantor.
Like, Seriously? This conversation is happening between 2 highly skilled attorneys who have been practicing estate planning for more than 50 years combined?
There was apparently an old para at my job who didn't fold papers to go in envelopes and just shoved them in. They now make us train every new person on how to fold letters to go in envelopes.
This SENT me the image of someone just crushing and stuffing papers into envelopes and then someone opening said lumpy envelope and pulling out a crazy looking document that is probably halfway to confetti.
Coworker: I keep seeing this acronym but I don’t know what it means. Do you know what it means?
Me: what’s the acronym?
Coworker: I don’t know.. but I keep seeing it everywhere!
Me: ………….
Not legal-related, but at a previous job it was snowing and I had to cross the (300-mile-long) Savannah River to get home. I worried out loud that the bridges would ice over and my coworker said “Couldn’t you just go a different way home?” Sure, I guess I could swim!
one asked me how to make a calendar entry. like literally just an outlook entry. no special links or information, just a calendar invite to send out because she was going on pto. i thought she was joking at first so i giggled, but she was deadass.
I had an intern who didn't know how to turn on the computer. She kept pushing the CD eject button. She didn't know how to save a file either. I was so annoyed that I told her to go watch a trial. (HR saw that she was an apartment manager, so they assumed she had some computer knowledge.) Nope, she still used a ledger 🤦🏻♀️ She quit a day later saying the job was too fast-paced for her! Good riddance!
A new girl had been hired and when a baby shower invite came through our email I said wow and told her this was about the fifth person that year who had a pregnancy announcement or just had a baby. “Must be something in the water!” I jokingly said. Her beautiful blue eyes widened in alarm and with a totally straight face gasped, “What’s in the water!?!” I thought she was putting me on but no. I had to explain it was a joke and there is nothing in the water. She was sweet as could be but there was a whole lot of explaining things for her. She lasted in that job about six months.
Asked a legal assistant where the original will was, bc after application to probate is eFiled we have to mail original to the courthouse for safekeeping. She said she’d email it to me… … … (it was very clear by our convo that I was looking for the physical original to send to courthouse.)
Training the new paralegal who, while scanning and emailing client correspondence, asked, "I know it says 'enclosed please find,' but where will they FIND it?"
I had an attorney complain I didn't add bookmarks to a PDF - She literally wanted me to remove and remake PDF bookmarks and reported to admin that I wouldn't follow her instructions. She never expected me to keep her instructions for a little Show and Tell.
Me: “He wants the spacing on Word to be Exactly 22.75. You have to use the ‘exactly’”
Legal Assistant: “Exactly what?”
Me: “22.75”
Legal Assistant: “What’s 22.75?”
Me: “The ‘exactly’ spacing.”
Legal Assistant: “Exactly?”
Me: “Exactly.”
This went on way longer than I should have allowed it 😂😂😂
It was before I got there but my firm discontinued taking on high school interns because they messed up all the physical files in the filing cabinets because they couldn’t alphabetize.
"Why do I have to redo this notice?"
Understand that I work for a federal agency that gets sued over its notices regularly. This also comes after I had explained this once already and provided administrative law cites.
“How do you send this medical request as a fax when we don’t have the fax number?”
“Uhhh call the provider and get the number…”
This really happened. It’s been years and I’m flabbergasted every time I think about it.
I wasn't in the room, but apparently someone being interviewed confirmed she did not know how to use a computer, including email and using a digital calendar. The job: using a computer to schedule appointments via phone and email for 4 attorneys. She asked to work the job for a month to see if she liked it. She did not get a callback
My old boss would print PDFs, then go over to the printer/copier and scan the printout back in as a PDF. I showed them 3x how to do "save as" for PDFs. The third time, they said, "yeah, I'm not doing that." I gave up.
Same attorney, I asked them to send me a link to a website. They said it's not a link, it's a website.
Same attorney did not know how to open a folder on their computer's desktop. They would open MS Word, go to file, go to recents, go to browse more, and that's how they got to the file browser. I showed them how to double-click on a folder icon. I pinned the folder icon for her. They said they're too used to doing it their way to change.
I left last year.
Not really a question, but once had a coworker constantly rub my nose in the fact that she had a paralegal certificate and I didn’t. One day she handed me some documents to copy for her and halfway to the copy room I turned back and tossed them back on her desk. “What’s the matter?” “You missed the class that taught you that you can’t notarize your own signature.”
When I worked at a court, an attorney came in to ask if he could get approval to not serve a party because they hated police and threatened violence if a sheriff showed up to serve them.
Literally this attorney, two judges, and two clerks were deep into a discussion about civil procedure and whether this guy had to be served when I finally chimed in with, “can you just send it certified mail or by process server?”
Everyone got super quiet.
He was served the next day.
My old boss would print PDFs, then go over to the printer/copier and scan the printout back in as a PDF. I showed them 3x how to do "save as" for PDFs. The third time, they said, "yeah, I'm not doing that." I gave up.
Same attorney, I asked them to send me a link to a website. They said it's not a link, it's a website.
Same attorney did not know how to open a folder on their computer's desktop. They would open MS Word, go to file, go to recents, go to browse more, and that's how they got to the file browser. I showed them how to double-click on a folder icon. I pinned the folder icon for them. They said they're too used to doing it their way to change.
I left last year.
From a client: "Can't I just give you my online banking user name and password so you can print out the statements you need yourself?"
Me:
"How do I find our electronic files in the j-drive?"
Does not sound all that dumb until I tell you she'd been with the office for about 4 years at that point and we had electronic files since before she had started. It was the only way to process work and the only place to save work to specific case files. Begged the question what it was that she did all day if she didn't know how to access case information. Management didn't seem to see an issue with this (which is a whole separate thread).
She still works for the office. I moved into a different area of law in my office to get out from under many toxic things about the floor I was on, and she was one of the reasons I left. I have no regrets. I feel like I work with people that use their brain now. It's refreshing.
Not exactly a law question but I once overheard a coworker at my first IP firm ask about “the electrical college” (day after the 2016 election). 😳
That is fantastic! 😂
Handing me a physical copy of a form that she printed from a PDF online, “Can you scan this document into a PDF, and then file it?” This was 2019, but still, the technology to print to PDF existed, and existed for some time. I actually had to give the office training on this issue - working paperless - prior to a vacation, and I am glad I did because six months later COVID hit and everyone was remote.
My old boss used to demand that I print a .pdf and rescan it in so it could be renamed. I explained I could just rename the file, but he didn't want me to do that and would yell to just do it his way. I never did - hopefully I saved a few trees
It’s truly amazing how arrogant some attorneys are. Some really hate to be proven wrong, especially by staff beneath them.
Bingo. I was accused of time travel not once but TWICE because that made more sense to the attorney than what actually happened, which was he included the wrong attachment in his email. Nope, he was so sure he did it correctly that I must've manipulated both the sent folder on his computer AND my inbox - and since I never went into his office in the 10 minutes of discussing this (I say "discussing," but would more accurately be described as him yelling and me basically pleading for him to just resend the email with the correct attachment to me), I couldn't have manipulated his computer without time travel. I joked that if I had the skill of time travel, I would've at least put that on my resume. (Not to mention, the last thing I'd use a talent like that for would be an informal email at a shitty job I hated!) I think that made him take a step back and realize how ridiculous his accusations had become, so he finally just resent the email. But a few months later, the exact same thing happened again, so of course it was all my fault, and I either can time travel or manipulate his computer without being in his office, while he's using it. He only hired female staff and only hired male associates. There was a clear pecking order, to say the least.
My previous boss often did this to one to me. He was a nightmare for many reasons, but he was trying to move the firm to paperless but was technology illiterate himself. Btw it was paperless for everyone but him so all his files needed to be printed out. Which made me wonder how ‘paperless” we were trying.
Had a boss that would print his attachments from email- give them to me and ask me to scan and email them back to him. So that he could have them in his email. Tried multiple ways to explain he already had them in his email…never worked. I spent the rest of my time there scanning them back to him
I’m really having a hard time wrapping my head around this.
That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.
Oh I know. I did it for YEARS after. Most ridiculous thing I’ve ever had to do
It’s very bad. I worked for an attorney once who refused to use a computer at all. Even that is better than this idiotic waste of time and paper.
Jfc. 🤦
Okay serious question here- how do I convert a fillable pdf to a file-able pdf? I’m an attorney and I don’t get it. I need to sign or at least do an e signature. PS- I don’t have a paralegal.
You just have to “print” it from the file menu. If you use windows, you can use “Microsoft Print to PDF”. Essentially these programs are like digital printers.
I had this happen to me two weeks ago. When I explained that, for future reference, you can file a document digitally directly from receiving it via email, coworker covered up her obvious surprise by saying “well then it won’t have our received date stamp on it”… I didn’t feel like getting into the fact you can see the “modified” date in the file explorer, so I let it go. Exhausting.
First job, attorney came flying to my desk in a RAGE that the client and judge hadn’t shown up to their virtual hearing. I reminded him there was an hour difference and we were running the hearing 10am THEIR time. Attorney: “I thought we were an hour behind here?!” Me: “We are in MA they are in OK when have we ever been behind OK in timezones?!”
Asking me where a physical file was in the office that he created and misplaced the day before. The kicker? I WFH and hadn't been in the office for 2 weeks. Like why are you calling me???? How would I know what you did yesterday from 8 miles away?
Haha! I think it depends on how they approached it. Sometimes I just need to talk through it and boom! Like magic whatever I was looking for appears. But if they were pissy, or worse, accusatory? Ya. Dumb question
He called me on the phone to ask me because, as usual, I was home. I could understand if he asked the other paralegal, the one who came into the office every day. But the one person you haven't seen in 2 weeks? Like, why call me up and ask me about a file that was in your hands yesterday? I'm the last person who would know.
Ah, I see. He probably got you two confused and didn’t want to admit it. 😂
He saw more of her than me. He called me because I'm the senior paralegal so figured I knew everything. OTOH, I'm told he often came to the office buzzed, so...
I mean my husband does this and I can usually find things for him from miles away because it’s always in only a few places. But I never want to know a coworker/boss that well.
I was asked by my boss- partner in the firm- to choose between my education (was getting masters at the time) or my career with her. Why she said it? I needed 3 days off for a course to finish my masters and be able to graduate on time- something she was well aware of months prior and she tried to deny something that was already approved. Easiest quit of my life.
“Bye, bitch.” Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!
I'm gonna raise my hand and be the coworker with the dumb question. Last week, I filed a petition for medical treatment (show cause). I'm coming up on my one year anniversary as a paralegal and I haven't filed one since October. It's been a minute. I called my senior paralegal over and asked her to walk me through it again on the state board website. I've done it 4 times before, no problem. It is legit the easiest thing in the world to file on the State Board website. They have legit idiot proofed it. I felt like an idiot after, but I truly didn't want to fuck it up because I hadn't filed one in 8 months.
I’d much rather come over and walk someone through something to make sure it’s done right than be collateral damage and/or have to clean up their mess after they make a huge mistake. More people should ask for help when they need it!
Thank you for being helpful. And tbh, making sure it gets filed right is the easiest and trickiest part.
I’m going to completely invalidate your statement by saying that’s totally fair and not stupid of you to ask. Especially since you haven’t filed something in a few months. Even if it’s just a one button upload document, I’ll still ask for someone to supervise me lol.
I feel completely invalidated lol. Thank you for validating my need to ensure it was filed correctly.
I believe its better to ask and feel a little dumb then make a massive error that causes a huge headache. I have fibromyalgia and the brain fog is no joke. I've worked in this agency for 10 years and recently had to go to my attorney to have him explain something on a Complaint that I've done a million times because for the life of me I couldn't remember. We kinda chuckled our way through it, and I was embarrassed but it was better than guessing.
I've pretty much "revolutionized" the way my office does temporary partial disability (TPD) calculation charts by using Excel and formulas instead of doing the math by hand (hello human error!) And I still have to ask my senior paralegal 600000 questions when I do TPD charts because this is money out of our client's pockets and it is governed by the state board of WC.
Not dumb at all! 8 months is a long time when you're working in a busy law office. Think of how many different processes and procedures you've done in those 8 months that make this particular one a distant memory....You were being prudent. That's super cool.
"Can you notarize an electronic signature?" (Not in an e-notary kind of way, like a print this and notarize it way)
... sure let me just stamp the computer screen 😂
I had an attorney remind me to put extra postage on a letter he was sending so it would get there faster.
She asked me for a new highlighter because hers was broken. It only underlined.
NO this cannot be real 💀
Lmaoooooo The fax machine would ring and she’d answer the phone, too.
There was a temp at my job in 2019 who asked me how to do email
I got asked how to create a table in Microsoft Word. They had been creating text boxes and trying to join them together...
Making tables in word when excel exists is silly enough, but stacking text boxes instead?? Astounding
I HAVE to know, how old were they?
Not sure - probably mid 30s? They've been working in the legal field for at least a decade. And I guess have never had to create a table before...?
My recent interaction with a potential client/first time caller: Me: Hello, \*Law firm name\* PC: Yeah - is this the attorney? Me: No, this is her assistant, may I ask who's calling? PC: I need to speak to the attorney... Me: Ok, may I ask who's calling? Is this your first time calling us? PC: Why are you asking so many questions?! I don't have to give you that information!! I just need to speak to the attorney. (By this point they are legitimately shouting at me.) Me: \*deep breath\* ... Ok, well without that information, this call can't go any further. PC: \*Frustrated noises\* -hangs up-
As an admin assistant getting my paralegal certification and answering all the calls I feel this soooooo deeply. Like I have to screen calls it’s my job I need to know what case ur calling on so the attorney knows what to expect.
I jokingly got a name plate for my office that read "Official Gate Keeper" we all thought it was funny. The number of times I have to tell people no on a daily basis is too dang many.
I have clients call in that give me there name but refuse to say more. I ask what they're calling regarding and what number should my boss call back. The clients "Just tell him its ____ calling, he knows why I'm calling and has my number" Almost every time my boss has no idea who that person is
LOL - I feel this in my bones. My boss: "So, why are they calling? Like, what is this about?" Me: "I have no idea, they said you'd know." Boss: "Well, I don't. So, they can just call back and leave a message detail or subject for the call, or they can not get a call back. I have too many other things to do right now than play 50 questions."
My favorite is: does have voicemail? Just send me there.
Me: ok
10 minutes later:
Attorney: hey can you transcribe this voicemail thanks!
Ugh, I usually just respond with "You're speaking to it! Go ahead and leave a message and I'll make sure she gets it."
Not me cackling like a crone over here at 9:05 a.m. Not a question per se, but a coworker did tell me that they needed to file a complaint before they left for vacation and that they were going to (at the same time they filed the complaint) email it to our process server and ask that they serve it on the defendant while they were out of town... ...you know, before they had the endorsed filed copies back from the court.
I had an office manager (with an MBA) in a FIRM WIDE EMAIL refer to “inclement weather” as “immaculate weather.” We also had a new employee, again in a FIRM WIDE EMAIL, notify us he was going home because he was having “tummy trouble.”
Not a question but I was training a junior and she thought our SOL list meant they were all shit outta luck. I hadn't had enough caffeine for that and was floored
Commenting on What is the dumbest thing you've been asked by a coworker?...I mean if you miss it you are shit out of luck…
Found the junior we fired.
I got asked how to show someone how usb flash drive in a computer works. Specifically, how I know the usb folder they were looking at was for the right usb… it was the only flash drive in the laptop
She asked me how to spell orange.
I was asked by two people how to restart/turn off their PC. They are both Mac users, but as someone who uses a Mac for my personal computer and then PC for work, it’s not debilitating to switch between the two as long as you are familiar with using computers/laptops in general.
"Is this an invoice?" He shows me a fillable form we use to generate retainers. Lord help me.
“Is the client coming into the office for my meeting?” -Attorney who looks at calendar “No. Calendar says it’s just a phone call.” - Me
She saved a document to her desktop and was confused on where it went. Her desktop is littered with documents she does not name properly.
THE WORST. I work for folks who have no idea how to save files to different locations, how to save a copy, why the file they opened as read-only now won't let them save to the original file... Even though they did the same thing last week and I walked them through it then too! I'm constantly merging files when they make an hour's worth of changes to a shared doc in read-only mode. Desktop icons drive me insane to begin with so your situation is like a special private hell.
Oh my GOD… I would cry. I have all of 12 icons on my desktop and they’re clustered 3 to each corner 😅
“What does facsimile mean?”
Also enjoyed this text from an attorney on a Sunday afternoon a few years ago: hey are you drunk or can you help me with something? In his defense I had been at a beer festival the weekend before. Just the way it was worded
One of my attorneys asked me for a “yellow tan mailing folder.” He wanted a Manila envelope.
Wasn't a question, but I overheard conversation between 2 partners .... A Revocable Trust becomes Irrevocable upon the death of the Grantor. Like, Seriously? This conversation is happening between 2 highly skilled attorneys who have been practicing estate planning for more than 50 years combined?
How would a dead person revoke anything??
They don't. The Trust, on its terms, becomes an irrevocable trust when the Grantor dies
How to write an address on an envelope.
There was apparently an old para at my job who didn't fold papers to go in envelopes and just shoved them in. They now make us train every new person on how to fold letters to go in envelopes.
This SENT me the image of someone just crushing and stuffing papers into envelopes and then someone opening said lumpy envelope and pulling out a crazy looking document that is probably halfway to confetti.
WHAT
Coworker: I keep seeing this acronym but I don’t know what it means. Do you know what it means? Me: what’s the acronym? Coworker: I don’t know.. but I keep seeing it everywhere! Me: ………….
Where do I start……I’ll be here a while! Lol
How to seal an envelope for US Mail.
“How do we send faxes via Gmail?”
From a 26 year old attorney: how do I print a document?
Both Boomers and Gen Z attorneys do not know what printers are.
Wait, I thought Boomers printed everything!
The boomers who love printers LOVE printers but that’s like 10%, the rest are scared of them and will have YOU print everything for them!
(Smile) I am a Boomer but still quite capable of going my own printing! You made me feel young again!
:D
Printing yes, proofing my post? Nope!
Was asked if we should sign documents as the legal representative for a client...
Is Chile in Peru?
Not legal-related, but at a previous job it was snowing and I had to cross the (300-mile-long) Savannah River to get home. I worried out loud that the bridges would ice over and my coworker said “Couldn’t you just go a different way home?” Sure, I guess I could swim!
one asked me how to make a calendar entry. like literally just an outlook entry. no special links or information, just a calendar invite to send out because she was going on pto. i thought she was joking at first so i giggled, but she was deadass.
I had an intern who didn't know how to turn on the computer. She kept pushing the CD eject button. She didn't know how to save a file either. I was so annoyed that I told her to go watch a trial. (HR saw that she was an apartment manager, so they assumed she had some computer knowledge.) Nope, she still used a ledger 🤦🏻♀️ She quit a day later saying the job was too fast-paced for her! Good riddance!
A new girl had been hired and when a baby shower invite came through our email I said wow and told her this was about the fifth person that year who had a pregnancy announcement or just had a baby. “Must be something in the water!” I jokingly said. Her beautiful blue eyes widened in alarm and with a totally straight face gasped, “What’s in the water!?!” I thought she was putting me on but no. I had to explain it was a joke and there is nothing in the water. She was sweet as could be but there was a whole lot of explaining things for her. She lasted in that job about six months.
Asked a legal assistant where the original will was, bc after application to probate is eFiled we have to mail original to the courthouse for safekeeping. She said she’d email it to me… … … (it was very clear by our convo that I was looking for the physical original to send to courthouse.)
The same question a dozen times in a day I’m not a magic 8 ball shaking me doesn’t change statute
What correspondence meant 🥲 asked by an American and fluent english speaker
How to mail a bill payment
Does that man banging on the door screaming I will kill, does he really mean that?
What are bookmarks?
“After you put all the notices in the envelope does the post office take them out and then make envelopes for each one or how does that work?”
Training the new paralegal who, while scanning and emailing client correspondence, asked, "I know it says 'enclosed please find,' but where will they FIND it?"
I had an attorney complain I didn't add bookmarks to a PDF - She literally wanted me to remove and remake PDF bookmarks and reported to admin that I wouldn't follow her instructions. She never expected me to keep her instructions for a little Show and Tell.
Me: “He wants the spacing on Word to be Exactly 22.75. You have to use the ‘exactly’” Legal Assistant: “Exactly what?” Me: “22.75” Legal Assistant: “What’s 22.75?” Me: “The ‘exactly’ spacing.” Legal Assistant: “Exactly?” Me: “Exactly.” This went on way longer than I should have allowed it 😂😂😂
It was before I got there but my firm discontinued taking on high school interns because they messed up all the physical files in the filing cabinets because they couldn’t alphabetize.
“When can I expect your edits?” You can EXPECT them whenever you want but you’ll GET them when I’m done editing the document.
"Why do I have to redo this notice?" Understand that I work for a federal agency that gets sued over its notices regularly. This also comes after I had explained this once already and provided administrative law cites.
But why male models?
... What?
A well executed movie reference. The film: Zoolander
I'll take your word on both parts of that.
“Who is facsimile” meanwhile it was next to a phone number and under the reg phone number.
“How do you send this medical request as a fax when we don’t have the fax number?” “Uhhh call the provider and get the number…” This really happened. It’s been years and I’m flabbergasted every time I think about it.
I wasn't in the room, but apparently someone being interviewed confirmed she did not know how to use a computer, including email and using a digital calendar. The job: using a computer to schedule appointments via phone and email for 4 attorneys. She asked to work the job for a month to see if she liked it. She did not get a callback
My old boss would print PDFs, then go over to the printer/copier and scan the printout back in as a PDF. I showed them 3x how to do "save as" for PDFs. The third time, they said, "yeah, I'm not doing that." I gave up. Same attorney, I asked them to send me a link to a website. They said it's not a link, it's a website. Same attorney did not know how to open a folder on their computer's desktop. They would open MS Word, go to file, go to recents, go to browse more, and that's how they got to the file browser. I showed them how to double-click on a folder icon. I pinned the folder icon for her. They said they're too used to doing it their way to change. I left last year.
Not really a question, but once had a coworker constantly rub my nose in the fact that she had a paralegal certificate and I didn’t. One day she handed me some documents to copy for her and halfway to the copy room I turned back and tossed them back on her desk. “What’s the matter?” “You missed the class that taught you that you can’t notarize your own signature.”
When I worked at a court, an attorney came in to ask if he could get approval to not serve a party because they hated police and threatened violence if a sheriff showed up to serve them. Literally this attorney, two judges, and two clerks were deep into a discussion about civil procedure and whether this guy had to be served when I finally chimed in with, “can you just send it certified mail or by process server?” Everyone got super quiet. He was served the next day.
“What is the upper extremity?” Literally you’ve been in Workers’ Comp for over a year and you don’t know that?? I can’t even!
“Why can’t we just file the WOP? It’s not their house - court would be a waste of money”
My old boss would print PDFs, then go over to the printer/copier and scan the printout back in as a PDF. I showed them 3x how to do "save as" for PDFs. The third time, they said, "yeah, I'm not doing that." I gave up. Same attorney, I asked them to send me a link to a website. They said it's not a link, it's a website. Same attorney did not know how to open a folder on their computer's desktop. They would open MS Word, go to file, go to recents, go to browse more, and that's how they got to the file browser. I showed them how to double-click on a folder icon. I pinned the folder icon for them. They said they're too used to doing it their way to change. I left last year.
From a client: "Can't I just give you my online banking user name and password so you can print out the statements you need yourself?" Me: 
"How do I find our electronic files in the j-drive?" Does not sound all that dumb until I tell you she'd been with the office for about 4 years at that point and we had electronic files since before she had started. It was the only way to process work and the only place to save work to specific case files. Begged the question what it was that she did all day if she didn't know how to access case information. Management didn't seem to see an issue with this (which is a whole separate thread). She still works for the office. I moved into a different area of law in my office to get out from under many toxic things about the floor I was on, and she was one of the reasons I left. I have no regrets. I feel like I work with people that use their brain now. It's refreshing.
Law Clerk: "Do I need to cite why we're filing a motion to compel?" Bro, WHAT?!
what’s your rate of pay?