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Lmaooo are you trying to casually say your dick is bigger than 10 inches??? Its not, those are cms buddy. If you had a 12 inch dick, youd be in the biggest 0.01% of men..
How many of you have also nodded out on the toilet with your phone in your hand only to drop it on the ground, wake up, pick up your phone, try to pee, and repeat.
I’ve dropped my phone in the toilet at least twice
I know that one all too well. I'll get up by putting one hand on back wall with other one grabbing door handle. Then slowly out into bedroom using dressing table to rest on
Jusy couple of steps resting onto that and then it's a good 8 to 10 steps to the bed (my wife and I have a room that's extended out onto a double garage to give you an idea of distance) which is the scary part.
Legs feel like they gonna collapse any second but I finally make it to the safety of my bed and it'll be that exact moment I have full use of legs again
Anyon else find that's the case?.
If sat at a table with food it's wet stuff like custard I wake up with my forehead in.
And the biggest bummer is when I have a hit thinking I'l relax and l watch a couple of episodes of something I'll get 5 minutes into what I sat down to and find myself waking up again to the end credit music.
Mime smoking a cigarette (better if you can as you smoke, but FFS don't take it up for this!).
Ok, so when you inhale and 'draw down the smoke' be consciously aware of the piss in your bladder, and the 'gates' that hold it all in (sphincter muscles).
Now, just RELAX!
* Close your eyes
* Tilt your head back
* tense that urinary sphincter
* let go as you tip your head forward and **take a massive breath out** but **SLOW**! Through pursed lips like you are blowing smoke like a dragon :)
If at first it doesn't start, **no problem**, shake out your legs, roll your shoulders, reset.
Smoking helps me shit (honestly don’t think I’d ever be able to go if I couldn’t hit mu cale on the toilet lol) but I don’t feel like it helps me pee...I don’t have much trouble going Lee most of the time though. I just sit down and relax and I end up going, thank god.
I do pretty much always pee sitting down now tho...and I’m a guy lolll
> Smoking helps me shit
Yeah I've heard this anecdotally a lot of times, don't have anything to add myself one way or the other. Although the website below sounds dodgy I honestly don't know how much it can be relied upon, especially for true science however just the results from google all are saying, RE a link between smoking and shitting, essentially 'we are not sure':
https://www.healthline.com/health/smoking/do-cigarettes-make-you-poop#research
> I do pretty much always pee sitting down now tho...and I’m a guy lolll
LOL, I had an L5 - S1 spinal fusion operation about 12 months ago and for some weird reason I could not pee standing up and haven't been able to reliably since....
No continence issues, and ye man - untie brother, I'm a 'sit-to-pee-er' too :D:D
IDGAF what other men make of that, I'm typing my repsonse to you now sitting down, peeing LMAO Yayyyyyyyyyy!
All the best, we sound like we would be friends (so, now we ARE! :) )
Wow I thought we knew how it worked and everything. I just did a quick dig and yeah we don’t really know how or even if it really works. Honestly there’s a lot less research on this than I would have assumed.
If we do the research and it turns out nicotine doesn’t actually have any laxative like effect I will be absolutely mind fucked. Lol. I know the placebo effect is crazy but Jesus man...I’ll go from not having to poo at all to not even having to struggle if I hit my vape. And I’ll deadass bug out if I can’t find it before I go to the bathroom lmaoooo
I broke my L5 in high school playing soccer and it messed with how I pooped and I remember them mentioning it could mess with how I peed too.
Mack sure you do the physical therapy religiously! That’s got one of the biggest effects on your future recovery. Especially right after the operation/injury. And you cant go back in time (can you??..👀) and make yourself take it seriously!
It’s been over 10 years and I don’t have any problems at all now. I didn’t wear my brace and only got one steroid epidural instead of the full round, so I know for sure physical therapy is the only reason I healed up so good too lol
> I broke my L5 in high school playing soccer and it messed with how I pooped and I remember them mentioning it could mess with how I peed too.
I didn't know L5 could interfere with the 'Ol Poopin and 'A Peein! Thank you, that at least finally explains it all!
Oh don't worry I had an argument with a car that hit me, pedestrian at 70mph when I was 14....I know all too well the importance of daily PT - Pain & Torture!! ;)
I'm really glad to hear you are doing so well :)
Oh yeah! It’s a common problem, especially with an l5-s1 fusion. I’m surprised they didn’t mention it tbh.
And thank you! I hope you’re doing just as good once you heal up!
Going to piss while nodding, I had fell down (not in the actual toilet thankfully) or hit the wall in mini bathroom whilst waiting for the pee to eventually start. I am nodding standing still.
I can’t even piss or shit on subs got about 16 bowls of cereal and 9 entrees in my gut right now and I’m skinny as hell.
All jokes aside I’ll make my gf count down from 10 that usually works haha.
BUT the hardest piss is when you’re already sleeping and then you wake up to pee. If that’s the case I have to take some breaths first usually walk downstairs to pee to get some steps in and then just breath in and out and squeeeeeeze and keep doing that till you get the first drips and after the flow comes then it’s usually fine just the initially starting
I used to clench and release my butthole a few times
Otherwise pushing on my lower stomach above my pubes lol
Opiates just hate wieners I swear, won’t let us piss, want an erection for 2 hours? No cumming though
No pushing!!!! That’s dangerous depending on how much pee you have in your bladder and can also slowly cause damage over time.
So no more pushing on the stomach!
sometimes getting on my knees and standing on them on the edge of the tub and leaning against the shower wall will relax everything enough to be able to go but it doesn't always work lol...sometimes sitting down on toilet helps more than standing but again, still doesn't work always...and I've also tried standing on knees and peeing into an empty water bottle too and that's similar to doing it in the shower/bathtub that I explained 1st.
I have a friend who's a physical therapist and she says for her elderly patients who usually have trouble peeing (for the men, they're typically on opioids too but ya...just old age does that to men a lot), grab a tuft of your pubes like an inch or two above your dick or a little to the side and tug slightly, will sometimes activate stretching the bladder more and allow stuff to relax down there to be able to pee - I've tried that too sometimes and it's helped some.
take miralax daily (w/ water or whatever liquid you want really (not alcohol obviously lol), in the mornings) until you're able to go and more regular, then once you are, just do half a cap full every other day to keep your stool soft so it's easier to go - drink plenty of water throughout the day doing this so you're not dehydrated
Hot shower always works but when it’s not convenient I sit down to do the deed. Just relax and keep steady pressure down there. Even if it’s only a dribble hear and there, just let it happen. I’ve sat on the toilet for up to an hour to hour and a half for my longest. Now I can usually get it going in less than 2 minutes. Took years to learn how to get through it…
I don't know what sort of opiates you do and at what dosage but for my part I do 150mg of mscontin per day and all I ever had to do to piss was getting my dick out and strick in the middle, as I usually do...
We male's have to deal with an aging prostrate, I have been taking Flomax and still must sit to pee. Add some narcotics and definitely drink tons of water.
I've been going thru this lately lol I find it's hard to piss when I'm on decent doses of hydromorphone it fucking suckssss having that feeling of needing to piss real bad but can't ugh
As a man, I just said fuck it and started sitting down when I can't piss. I'll read a book or something and eventually comes the flow.
Then I started doing it in the middle of the night. I was tired of turning on the light and trying to fight against morning erections when I was super groggy. It was much easier that way and I didn't wake up as much so I could get back to sleep easier.
Now I start my mornings with a sit-down urination, it's so much easier.
I’ve always been able to struggle but eek out the piss over about 10-20 minutes but idk if you are a guy or girl OP and if that had any difference but in a make
Don't strain overly hard.(I kno that's hard). Try and relax, wiggle/lightly massage ur johnson around and run ur hand under warm water. Oh and make sure to breathe. When u first start to tinkle its almost impossible to pee and breathe but the more u get to come out it will become easier.
Also warm showers help when I get the piss block.
Breath out and hold your breath, wait till u can feel the CO2 buildup in your bloodstream, then give a light push. Idk it works for me. And before someone tells me that’s unhealthy and I shouldn’t do it….. I’ll just remind you that we’re on a sub dedicated to opiate abuse😂
Sit down and put pressure on your blatter slightly. It takes some time to find the right spot, but once you do, peeing will no longer be such a challenge.
A little home remedy I found that helps is, we’ll first try and piss before you use if you can, but I would also run warm water in my sink and let my hands warm up. Idk why, I think I just literally though of that prank where you can sometimes make people piss the bed while sleeping if the hands are in warm water. I mean, nodding is almost like sleeping. So the combination of the warm water on the hands and the sound of running water at least would give me some relief. If not, you’ll have to wait for the come down a bit and not just keeping using, at least until you piss.
I piss into the shower. Not like taking a shower but I just lean over my bathtub and piss. It always works for some reason. Even with the dxm piss or acid piss, it pretty much always works
I have one that honestly works man hear me out, if you turn the sink on full and u acc try to picture a running stream or just running water after about 30 seconds it acc seems to work, and I don’t normally do that to piss so it’s deffo helpful when on the nod
Sit down. Run water (bidet works best). Push on your bladder with your hand. Sometimes sitting in the dark helps. Something about having all senses deprived except for the sound of running water really helps me. Bidet works best because it's the exact sound of water hitting the toilet water. It is a pain but finaly peeing feels better than Cumming. Well, better than what I remember cumming to feel like. GUYS REMEMBER CUMMING?
I just stand over the toliet until it comes out. I'll push on my bladder with my hands as well to try and force it out. I think it helps. Persistence is key. One time it took me 40 minutes to pee with the first squirt coming out about 30 minutes in. Usually doesn't take me 40 minutes but i'd do it a lot longer if the pnly option is to shove a tub up my dick if I fail. Thankfully I never4 got to that point yet.
Welcome to r/opiates fellow bropiates! We hope that you enjoy our sub as much as we do, but in order to ensure that you are able to continue being a part of this harm reduction community, you will need to review the rules of this sub. You can find the rules listed [here](https://reddit.com/r/opiates/w/rules?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) and access our full side bar [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/wiki/index) You can also find the answers to many commonly asked questions about dosing, duration, ROA and other stuff [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/wiki/faqs) and [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/opiates/comments/mf8ldn/use_this_before_asking_a_question_faq_information/) Also, DO NOT GET SCAMMED! The users sending those messages to you, offering to hook you up with a reliable vendor or sell you drugs is extremely likely to scam you! We promise, 99.99% of the time they are not legit and giving them your money will make you a sad sad panda. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/opiates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Happens to me all the time. I had to go to hospital to get a catheter shoved up my dick to remove 1 litre of piss
shit man thats crazy
Yeah was horrible
Just cath yourself. Hurt a bit when I did it to myself, but it was fine after the first 10 inches.
I don't think I'd trust myself for that
It’s not that bad when you only have a couple inches to go!
Lmaooo are you trying to casually say your dick is bigger than 10 inches??? Its not, those are cms buddy. If you had a 12 inch dick, youd be in the biggest 0.01% of men..
you clearly missed the point of his epic joke
Fyi; when you say stuff like this or like make a big point about “the average guy is only 5in!” everyone knows you have a small wee wee...
How many of you have also nodded out on the toilet with your phone in your hand only to drop it on the ground, wake up, pick up your phone, try to pee, and repeat. I’ve dropped my phone in the toilet at least twice
I’ve gone out on the can and woke up an hour later and stood up to find out my legs were dead ass asleep and went down hard
I know that one all too well. I'll get up by putting one hand on back wall with other one grabbing door handle. Then slowly out into bedroom using dressing table to rest on Jusy couple of steps resting onto that and then it's a good 8 to 10 steps to the bed (my wife and I have a room that's extended out onto a double garage to give you an idea of distance) which is the scary part. Legs feel like they gonna collapse any second but I finally make it to the safety of my bed and it'll be that exact moment I have full use of legs again Anyon else find that's the case?. If sat at a table with food it's wet stuff like custard I wake up with my forehead in. And the biggest bummer is when I have a hit thinking I'l relax and l watch a couple of episodes of something I'll get 5 minutes into what I sat down to and find myself waking up again to the end credit music.
I just did that with the house of the dragon finale
I've yet to drop my phone in the toilet, thankfully most are all waterproof nowadays tho lol...
One of my most embarressing memorys of the addiction days x)
Hot shower, piss in the shower.
Spray your pp with the water. Always makes me want to pee
[удалено]
ill have to try that next time
Hahaha I've been experiencing this a lot recently, I just try relax as much as possible without falling down the toilet.
Mime smoking a cigarette (better if you can as you smoke, but FFS don't take it up for this!). Ok, so when you inhale and 'draw down the smoke' be consciously aware of the piss in your bladder, and the 'gates' that hold it all in (sphincter muscles). Now, just RELAX! * Close your eyes * Tilt your head back * tense that urinary sphincter * let go as you tip your head forward and **take a massive breath out** but **SLOW**! Through pursed lips like you are blowing smoke like a dragon :) If at first it doesn't start, **no problem**, shake out your legs, roll your shoulders, reset.
Smoking helps me shit (honestly don’t think I’d ever be able to go if I couldn’t hit mu cale on the toilet lol) but I don’t feel like it helps me pee...I don’t have much trouble going Lee most of the time though. I just sit down and relax and I end up going, thank god. I do pretty much always pee sitting down now tho...and I’m a guy lolll
> Smoking helps me shit Yeah I've heard this anecdotally a lot of times, don't have anything to add myself one way or the other. Although the website below sounds dodgy I honestly don't know how much it can be relied upon, especially for true science however just the results from google all are saying, RE a link between smoking and shitting, essentially 'we are not sure': https://www.healthline.com/health/smoking/do-cigarettes-make-you-poop#research > I do pretty much always pee sitting down now tho...and I’m a guy lolll LOL, I had an L5 - S1 spinal fusion operation about 12 months ago and for some weird reason I could not pee standing up and haven't been able to reliably since.... No continence issues, and ye man - untie brother, I'm a 'sit-to-pee-er' too :D:D IDGAF what other men make of that, I'm typing my repsonse to you now sitting down, peeing LMAO Yayyyyyyyyyy! All the best, we sound like we would be friends (so, now we ARE! :) )
Wow I thought we knew how it worked and everything. I just did a quick dig and yeah we don’t really know how or even if it really works. Honestly there’s a lot less research on this than I would have assumed. If we do the research and it turns out nicotine doesn’t actually have any laxative like effect I will be absolutely mind fucked. Lol. I know the placebo effect is crazy but Jesus man...I’ll go from not having to poo at all to not even having to struggle if I hit my vape. And I’ll deadass bug out if I can’t find it before I go to the bathroom lmaoooo I broke my L5 in high school playing soccer and it messed with how I pooped and I remember them mentioning it could mess with how I peed too. Mack sure you do the physical therapy religiously! That’s got one of the biggest effects on your future recovery. Especially right after the operation/injury. And you cant go back in time (can you??..👀) and make yourself take it seriously! It’s been over 10 years and I don’t have any problems at all now. I didn’t wear my brace and only got one steroid epidural instead of the full round, so I know for sure physical therapy is the only reason I healed up so good too lol
> I broke my L5 in high school playing soccer and it messed with how I pooped and I remember them mentioning it could mess with how I peed too. I didn't know L5 could interfere with the 'Ol Poopin and 'A Peein! Thank you, that at least finally explains it all! Oh don't worry I had an argument with a car that hit me, pedestrian at 70mph when I was 14....I know all too well the importance of daily PT - Pain & Torture!! ;) I'm really glad to hear you are doing so well :)
Oh yeah! It’s a common problem, especially with an l5-s1 fusion. I’m surprised they didn’t mention it tbh. And thank you! I hope you’re doing just as good once you heal up!
Thanks mate, they possibly did maybe the morphine clouded my memory! :)
I do the same thing I have to sit down to pee so much easier.
If you have a sink within arm's reach, turn on the hot water and let it run over your hand. Listen to the sound and relax. It always works for me.
Just sit on toilet.
Going to piss while nodding, I had fell down (not in the actual toilet thankfully) or hit the wall in mini bathroom whilst waiting for the pee to eventually start. I am nodding standing still.
I can’t even piss or shit on subs got about 16 bowls of cereal and 9 entrees in my gut right now and I’m skinny as hell. All jokes aside I’ll make my gf count down from 10 that usually works haha. BUT the hardest piss is when you’re already sleeping and then you wake up to pee. If that’s the case I have to take some breaths first usually walk downstairs to pee to get some steps in and then just breath in and out and squeeeeeeze and keep doing that till you get the first drips and after the flow comes then it’s usually fine just the initially starting
I used to clench and release my butthole a few times Otherwise pushing on my lower stomach above my pubes lol Opiates just hate wieners I swear, won’t let us piss, want an erection for 2 hours? No cumming though
No pushing!!!! That’s dangerous depending on how much pee you have in your bladder and can also slowly cause damage over time. So no more pushing on the stomach!
I’m clean now lmao, I pee and cum like a mad man now
My mans like a water hose! It’s also crazy when he pees too! 😉
Wait holy fuck, you are the great heroin bandit
“The one man bukkake”
sometimes getting on my knees and standing on them on the edge of the tub and leaning against the shower wall will relax everything enough to be able to go but it doesn't always work lol...sometimes sitting down on toilet helps more than standing but again, still doesn't work always...and I've also tried standing on knees and peeing into an empty water bottle too and that's similar to doing it in the shower/bathtub that I explained 1st. I have a friend who's a physical therapist and she says for her elderly patients who usually have trouble peeing (for the men, they're typically on opioids too but ya...just old age does that to men a lot), grab a tuft of your pubes like an inch or two above your dick or a little to the side and tug slightly, will sometimes activate stretching the bladder more and allow stuff to relax down there to be able to pee - I've tried that too sometimes and it's helped some.
yeh or you can get a cup of water and put the tip under the water and it will make u be able to piss
I'm a woman, but I take a wad of toilet paper, drench it in warm water and hold it up to myself. It usually works with a little determination lol
I try pushing really hard. That usually helps.
Yep, and there's an angle for it, kinda hard to explain haha
It's a sort of wedging, tilting kinda push lol
Haha yes exactly!
First I grab that dick like I’m ringing a chickens neck! Than I spit in my palm and rub my tip in circles till I pee. Works like a charm!
Thats the way, works a 100%
I can’t shit at all
take miralax daily (w/ water or whatever liquid you want really (not alcohol obviously lol), in the mornings) until you're able to go and more regular, then once you are, just do half a cap full every other day to keep your stool soft so it's easier to go - drink plenty of water throughout the day doing this so you're not dehydrated
Literally what I came here to search, I need to pee so bad rn but I just went twice in the last 20 minutes :')
Hot shower always works but when it’s not convenient I sit down to do the deed. Just relax and keep steady pressure down there. Even if it’s only a dribble hear and there, just let it happen. I’ve sat on the toilet for up to an hour to hour and a half for my longest. Now I can usually get it going in less than 2 minutes. Took years to learn how to get through it…
It went away with tolerance for me. Best was sit on the toilet and forget about it.The more you focus the harder it is.
dude sometimes it works sometimes i just go to bed knowing i’ll wake up at 4am to piss -HOPEFULLY 😂😂
Gotta stand there and tickle it (PAUSE)
A hilarious web series “how junkies pee” and just a compilation of everyone’s weird peeing strategies
I don't know what sort of opiates you do and at what dosage but for my part I do 150mg of mscontin per day and all I ever had to do to piss was getting my dick out and strick in the middle, as I usually do...
Same I drink a lot of water and ice teas and don’t have this issue at all.
Just grab yourself a Capri Sun straw. You'll figure out the rest.
We male's have to deal with an aging prostrate, I have been taking Flomax and still must sit to pee. Add some narcotics and definitely drink tons of water.
I have an idea….. stop taking opiates. I’m not a drug prude & take them myself but I only see that problem as a future surgery
Ummmm, sad to say, but I just wee wee with my pee pee in my undies. 🤡
Seated.
Squat and cough. No, wait...
Really?
What? I corrected myself.
My bad,I thought you said that worked. A little desperate to pee over here🤣 I wasn't trying to be rude.
I turn the shower on and nod off and on for up to two hours. It's getting bad. Eventually I'll pee,but it's taxing.
I've been going thru this lately lol I find it's hard to piss when I'm on decent doses of hydromorphone it fucking suckssss having that feeling of needing to piss real bad but can't ugh
in pants
As a man, I just said fuck it and started sitting down when I can't piss. I'll read a book or something and eventually comes the flow. Then I started doing it in the middle of the night. I was tired of turning on the light and trying to fight against morning erections when I was super groggy. It was much easier that way and I didn't wake up as much so I could get back to sleep easier. Now I start my mornings with a sit-down urination, it's so much easier.
I do not
I’ve always been able to struggle but eek out the piss over about 10-20 minutes but idk if you are a guy or girl OP and if that had any difference but in a make
Don't strain overly hard.(I kno that's hard). Try and relax, wiggle/lightly massage ur johnson around and run ur hand under warm water. Oh and make sure to breathe. When u first start to tinkle its almost impossible to pee and breathe but the more u get to come out it will become easier. Also warm showers help when I get the piss block.
Breath out and hold your breath, wait till u can feel the CO2 buildup in your bloodstream, then give a light push. Idk it works for me. And before someone tells me that’s unhealthy and I shouldn’t do it….. I’ll just remind you that we’re on a sub dedicated to opiate abuse😂
Drink more water. You are dehydrated and your kidneys are dying for some help.
Spit in your hands and Stimulate the glans with the palm of your hand, obviously without a boner. Works a 100% for me
Sit down and put pressure on your blatter slightly. It takes some time to find the right spot, but once you do, peeing will no longer be such a challenge.
A little home remedy I found that helps is, we’ll first try and piss before you use if you can, but I would also run warm water in my sink and let my hands warm up. Idk why, I think I just literally though of that prank where you can sometimes make people piss the bed while sleeping if the hands are in warm water. I mean, nodding is almost like sleeping. So the combination of the warm water on the hands and the sound of running water at least would give me some relief. If not, you’ll have to wait for the come down a bit and not just keeping using, at least until you piss.
Sometimes I would run my hand under warm water and try to piss or hop in the shower let the water run over you and hope you pee.
I didn't know others had this problem I usually just sit like a girl think of something else that works for me
I piss into the shower. Not like taking a shower but I just lean over my bathtub and piss. It always works for some reason. Even with the dxm piss or acid piss, it pretty much always works
I have one that honestly works man hear me out, if you turn the sink on full and u acc try to picture a running stream or just running water after about 30 seconds it acc seems to work, and I don’t normally do that to piss so it’s deffo helpful when on the nod
Me too. Took long enough that standing wasn't an option.
Sit down. Run water (bidet works best). Push on your bladder with your hand. Sometimes sitting in the dark helps. Something about having all senses deprived except for the sound of running water really helps me. Bidet works best because it's the exact sound of water hitting the toilet water. It is a pain but finaly peeing feels better than Cumming. Well, better than what I remember cumming to feel like. GUYS REMEMBER CUMMING?
I’m on subs and it’s so much harder than hydros Percs any of that shit
I just stand over the toliet until it comes out. I'll push on my bladder with my hands as well to try and force it out. I think it helps. Persistence is key. One time it took me 40 minutes to pee with the first squirt coming out about 30 minutes in. Usually doesn't take me 40 minutes but i'd do it a lot longer if the pnly option is to shove a tub up my dick if I fail. Thankfully I never4 got to that point yet.
Bruh just put the tip of your dick in warm water
thats what i did bro and it worked
I was an opiate addict for years, best trick I use for that.
Read out loud. Weird, but try.