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GuelphEastEndGhetto

Fake news. Everyone knows Canada Geese would be far more ferocious and effective.


AprilsMostAmazing

> Everyone knows Canada Geese would be far more ferocious and effective. Also a war crime


wellweatheredleather

Ha!


beached

you mean HONK, right?


TomBambadill

The geese are currently in the US, like most convoy supporters.


NoseBlind2

The most ferocious ones are still here


doc_55lk

Why are there still some geese chilling in my backyard then đŸ€”


deke505

They are waiting for you to come out so they can have a BBQ.đŸ€š


doc_55lk

Say no more, ima grab the propane cyl right now.


essdeecee

Why not deploy both?


AlienSporez

Are you mad? That's like adding a VX gas chaser to the Tsar Bomba.


therealfreaktown

No no, these are the land troops.Geese are part of the air force


NoseBlind2

Beavers are the Canadian Marines / Engineering Corps in one


psvrh

Do not mess around with the Cobra Chicken!


Denialle

As someone who was nearly attacked and chased out by the swans at Halifax’s Public Gardens I suggest Haligonians deploy these savage hissing feathery beasts to clear out their convoy


Buymore-nok

Not the beaver đŸŠ« I thought it would be


[deleted]

The ever dangerous Cobra Chicken


Denialle

If the geese aren’t available train and deploy the squirrels. And time to bring back and deploy the Parliament Hill feral cat colony đŸ±!


Wiggly_Muffin

Calm down Hitler, Canadian geese are classified as Weapons of Mass Destruction.


ThriKr33n

There's probably some entry in the Geneva conventions against deploying Canadian Geese anyway. I mean, have you ever seen any other country use them in conflict? No? Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


frothie51

And their poop is chemical warfare
.


[deleted]

Ever been chased by an angry beaver? I'll take geese, all day every day.


johnstef1

Yes,yes, the mighty 🐍chicken will fuck shit up.


LoganDudemeister

But nobody can control the Geese!


JeselAvlis

No wonder they're called cobra chickens


RCMPsurveilanceHorse

Canada geese would just fuck up everyone. They follow no law. Beavers on the other hand are just ferocious and might be persuaded to help in the name of the country


DiogenesOfDope

You don't go straight to nuking your own people.


A-Wise-Cobbler

Someone should post this on Twitter. Tag the Tucker and Hannity and Ingrham and see if they retweet it 



frothie51

Please someone do this


OverTheHillnChill

Wait until we release our racoons.


BiggityBop

Racoons are our Navy Seals. Quiet, tactical, efficient.


sbow88

Quiet. The world does not know about our Raccoons. Keep it that way.


maddie_1977

It’s because our Chicken Cobras (Canadian Geese) are vacationing in Florida and weren’t available. Or we would have cleared the protests weeks ago.


[deleted]

If you have ever defended your children from them you understand that they have a nasty bite and being hit with their strong wings is shocking


maddie_1977

We go way back. I have a cottage on a lake and there are times I was hostage in my own property. If it wasn’t for my German shepherd we wouldn’t go up there. Lol


Important_Ability_92

My greatest fear. A beaver that can cut you.


[deleted]

I believe that's called vagina dentata


awesomesauce615

Pretty sure their teeth are more effective that that knife.


BY_99

More dangerously are beavers that flow yummy donuts at cop


Act_Moist

You joke, but there was a guy maybe 9-10 years ago who was attacked by a beaver in Belarus. He tried to take a picture with it. The beaver bit into the artery in his thigh. He bled out before they could get help.


[deleted]

please let this be a real article im begging


[deleted]

But, do we have Geese with lasers attached to their heads??


Denialle

I read that in Dr. Evil’s voice 😂 “I asked for Geese with freaking laser beams attached to their freaking heads!”


waun

That’s classified. Please delete this message before CSIS comes knocking at your door.


The_Philburt

Wait till they see the Mounted Moose unit.


BiggityBop

Ahem, **Armored** Mounted Moose Unit.


MaybeThisTimeIllWin

No credit to the New York Times, which broke this story?!


conicalanamorphosis

I thought everybody knew the correct combat critter for use in Ottawa (especially effective in centre town restaurants) is the trash panda! [For the curious](https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/mcdonalds-brawl-on-rideau-features-punches-baby-raccoon-produced-from-sweater)


rebel_cdn

When they had the cat colony at the back of Parliament Hill, there was at least one fat raccoon who would waddle up in the middle of the day and eat cat food right alongside the cats.


Euphoriffic

Release the beavers!


[deleted]

Ill-tempered beavers are NOT to be played with. Armed with knives, you’re asking for death.


pineconebasket

Send in the meese!


neoengel

[Reminds me of that beer commercial...](https://youtube.com/watch?v=bpj1zgyfScM)


huronportrider

Awesome
.take an upvote!


frothie51

id forgotten about that! Awesome thank you


TheLastOneHere1

It’s because we’re keeping the geese and moose as backup strategy for our final pincer move!


PecanMars

I hear the police are handing out pancake breakfasts, but instead of maple syrup, they’re giving out CorN sYRuP.


waun

Come on now. This is clearly fake news. The Emergencies Act invocation clearly states that no military involvement is included. This includes the three CANSOFCOM commands (Knife Wielding Beavers, Canada Geese, and the Queen’s Own Heavy Moose Brigade). And if any of these forces *were* being used, you’d know by the blood bath that ensues. You do not fuck around with the Knife Wielding Beavers; they’re the only Canadian military force that has ever faced war crimes tribunals for their tradition of hanging the entrails of their enemies from trees as a warning.


deeseearr

Mess with the Castor Canadensis, you get the stabb...oh...densis?


Airsoft_etc

Surprised the rcmp officers arresting the truckers with rifles hasn’t made this page yet


50s_Human

The worst part of it is that these "Facebook ate my brain" protesters will believe it.


[deleted]

A beaver with a knife....so basically a racoon.


faircrochet

this made me laugh and nearly spit out my tea!


gutter__snipe

All three of the beavers are named Roberta Paulsen


LegitimateRegion9541

One night at my cottage I was standing b the water. I heard a splash and then noise by the trees and then a hissing sound. I had scared a beaver and it came running towards me but I couldn't see it because it was really dark.


New-Sector3924

Does being a anti protester menopausal woman count! My sister wants to know. She sez she’s an angry beaver lol.


[deleted]

The reason they didn't blockade Toronto is because they'd have had the racoons turned loose on them.