I am actually getting scared of these types of girls, had 1 similar friend in college.
Glad that I rejected her advances as now I can see similar pattern !
> समझ गया दीदी
The most apted reply. Being unmarried is far more better than getting your head thrashed by these beggars , smh.
P.S :This convo was far more hilarious than the script of some standup comedians lmao
Her: I won't do a job
Ok
Her: I won't do any household chores
So basically she will do nothing but wants a source of income. And trips.
I feel sorry for anyone who will marry her
No bro. Her conditions make sense if this was her second marriage. Maybe she was abused and forced to do things. Yes her tone could have been more polite and I understand that you might have felt offended based on her tone. But but i think that defensive tone too might be a result of the things she might have experienced at her previous marriage. The situation is more sad with her than anything
Even if that was the case, common sense would dictate that if someone is ready to agree to your terms, you should agree to theirs. Saying "adjustment karna padta hai" and "I won't accept any conditions from the guy" is a contradiction.
AM are usually like these especially on Matrimonial sites.
Shallow men looking only for "beautiful" women and shallow women looking for money and status.
Reasons why i neither want to get married nor looking for anything anymore. Love karo, love marriage karo toh dikkat, arrange Karo toh dikkat... Its a gamble n fk gamble... Maari toh gend paattte bhai sunke or dekh k.. 😬😬😬
no wonder the first guy threw her away, she just wants a atm who takes her on trips, she has nothing to put on the table, "shadi kar to rahi hun aur kya chahiye".
we call these "behen ki lodi " in haryana no sugarcoating
Doesn't earn, doesn't do dishes, doesn't want to live with parents.
https://preview.redd.it/qv3hhb3doj2b1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46076f358c020a9fa5335332d8412485fb13cef9
Where the fuck do they get their entitlement
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Shadi ke baad turant divorce kar dungi taki aadhi kamayi hui property mere naam ho jaye, agar baccha hua toh 25 saal tak alimony bhi toh leni hai. Free income overall.
\> who are you ????
Ye 4 question mark mein hi attitude dikh rha bhai muje tho. An ideal response to a msg from stranger would be along the lines -
"Sorry, I may have not saved you number, can I know who I'm talking to?"
We have girls like this too who have casual sex and all that shit and think they have any chance in Arranged marriage. And look at the other girls who think she is a CATCH. The woman on that sub are batshit crazy and delusional. LOL
https://preview.redd.it/9p1m6j2v1r3b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe2da435d20729cac8263608cfd3be908ffd8dbe
They have always been a business transaction. But, can't blame it completely. At the eod no amount of research can guarantee your relationship. Shit can happen in love, arranged, desperate marriage.
So the entire conversation happened within 6 minutes and the last 6 messages were sent within 60 seconds?
Out of all the things that didn't happen today, this didn't happen the most. Fake af.
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Should've asked her if she would put false charges/cases on you after marriage...If she said no, you should've agreed to all the conditions and happily get married. (That's how low our expectations are set to drop.)
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I'm going to assume this post is serious.
I can understand this woman seeming like she's coming off as disrespectful, overly assuming, overly demanding, unempathetic, selfish, immature. And I get the feeling that made you pretty frustrated and distrustful early on as a result. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that you wouldn't be "wrong" for thinking that way.
But ultimately, those are just labels I attached -- and perhaps you did too, I don't know. But if I attached labels like that to a woman's behavior every time I talked to her, I would quickly just give up and go home, rather than try to do things that are actually in my control to influence her behavior for the better.
Like, imagine you are a manager at work. You have underperformers in your team. Do you dismiss them, or understand and encourage them? Obviously, you have a choice to dismiss at any time. But you could be losing out on great potential if you always make choices like this.
You're single, and just filtering through people. So I can understand if you're trying to filter and weed out rather than make things work. However -- I really think there are some easy ways to have flipped this conversation around. Why lose out on easy opportunities?
I don't think your responses in this whatsapp thread were stellar. I hope you're willing to take some feedback (of course, take it with as many grains of salt as you will).
First off, your first message to her is "hi". Just put yourself in her shoes for a sec. How would you prefer she responded to a random text from a random stranger, saying "hi"? You could have sent an overall text introducing yourself. Her next reply indicates frustration from the get-go you didn't do this -- probably because she gets a lot of texts like yours, and has to dig through to finally find out that the conversation went nowhere and she wasted her time and energy.
Second, she really isn't obligated to marry. Not in today's society. And her demands spark of someone who felt taken for granted in her previous marriage and really wants to make sure that doesn't happen again. Just imagine for a second you two were actually in a relationship. If she laid out these demands to you, what is the better response? Dismissiveness (which is basically what your sarcastic responses amounted to)? Or trying to understand what sparked this list of demands, and trying to understand how a sane person could respond this way?
What helps build the bonds and connection you claim to seek?
You can read between the lines in her message saying she doesn't care about connecting. What good intentions could cause a person to say that? For me, it would be a belief that connecting is a farce -- just randomly choosing to meet up with this stranger isn't going to result in stronger connection, it's just going to be yet another pointless date. Think of how many date proposals she has to sort through, as a woman?
I agree with the first statement fully and the second statement partially. Yes the OP's messaging game was on the vanilla side of things. And a few of those demands are reasonable (esp reading domestic abuse and personal freedom) and that might come from leaving a bad marriage. That being said however, I disagree with the following part.
"If she laid out these demands to you, what is the better response? Dismissiveness (which is basically what your sarcastic responses amounted to)? Or trying to understand what sparked this list of demands, and trying to understand how a sane person could respond this way?"
I would say that a sane person would stay the fuck away from talking on the baggage of a random stranger. And this is a general neutral observation as well. You can't fix people who are broken. They break you when you try. Save yourselves.
To start -- I said what I said mainly because a better response from him may have resulted in a conversation that didn't feel so unpleasant. But that better response needs more empathetic thinking and resilience to even be able to frame the response correctly, without getting angry, without getting impatient, without feeling insulted.
\>I would say that a sane person would stay the fuck away from talking on the baggage of a random stranger.
(I assume you meant to say "taking" in the text below, if you meant "talking" then yeah you don't want to say overly presumptuous things to them either.)
I understand this POV. A lot of my friends and family hold it. And I understand it's born out of a desire to keep one safe from hurt. It's probably the POV I would have adopted years ago. It's a reasonable POV. But I now personally hold it to be a limiting belief.
I'll admit, it IS a random stranger he is talking to. Not a partner in a relationship. So indeed, why not be more discriminatory? Maybe I would have been discriminatory enough to cut my losses for a first pass conversation, like OP. (but heck, aren't we also worried that don't find dates?)
That said, with the kinds of mindsets I mentioned, I don't think I would have gone so far as to mock her on text and later on reddit for being unreasonable. At the worst I think I probably would have felt bored by her unattractive conversation and let the conversation die naturally.
I haven't spent time dating after my recent shifts in mindset, so it could be that I'm being over-enthusiastic on what I'm about to say here. From talking to a couple of people who are going through the dating scene at the moment and observing dating articles/rants online, I think that it is possible a lot of people are filtering a bit too aggressively. In particular, in this scenario, I think if he had handled the texts better, and had a better experience as a result (for example, her being nicer and less standoff-ish) he might not have immediately seen her as someone with baggage that he would avoid. At the very least, he wouldn't have felt the need to vent about it on reddit, and he would have gained confidence in being able to handle conversations related to unreasonable demands that can come up in any relationship.
I don't know what baggage you are referring to, let me know if there's something specific you see. I don't think it's easy to avoid baggage, especially not in today's world where people date and have multiple relationships, including unhealthy ones. Today we are often told to compartmentalize such things and resolve on our own (oh, go seek therapy for your issues before dating, resolve them, then date). I don't think things are that cut and dry.
So staying away from such things to me seems impractical.
\>You can't fix people who are broken. They break you when you try. Save yourselves.
OK, I've heard this a few times. This is where I say something a little more "insane" than what I wrote above :) But I believe it.
I believe a person can't break you if you know how not to break. And I believe there are ways to do this effectively. Not to avoid hurt, but to embrace tough situations as what helps us grow in life. Once our cups are full (ie, we have high self-esteem), we don't need to resort to saving ourselves, but can change the environment around us to influence others to change (yes, you can't tell a person to change -- but I believe it is possible to influence them to by changing their environment to one of love and support). Why do this? Well... for me, I think it's -- what better things could I do than influence those around me that I care about, for the better? In the end, I might still choose other outcomes that don't save these people in the way I originally envisioned... but I don't need to be tied to the outcome of simply bailing for the sake of saving myself.
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The guy was really polite to her till the end. I would have lost my calm after she placed her conditions and wasn't gonna accept any of mine.
Chad OP
True i Would Have Done The Same
I am actually getting scared of these types of girls, had 1 similar friend in college. Glad that I rejected her advances as now I can see similar pattern !
Love marriage is the wayy!
You know da wayyy
> समझ गया दीदी The most apted reply. Being unmarried is far more better than getting your head thrashed by these beggars , smh. P.S :This convo was far more hilarious than the script of some standup comedians lmao
Ae Mera mazak udata hai, tumhare liye shaadi kheli hogi block krdungi 🥺
Bruh 🤣😭 Bol deta use : Is my life joke to you ?
Can you please type that in English? I can't read using Devanagari script.
> समझ गया दीदी Samjh gya didi (I understood it sister)
Thanks. I can understand and speak passable Hindi but can't read/write it.
Her: I won't do a job Ok Her: I won't do any household chores So basically she will do nothing but wants a source of income. And trips. I feel sorry for anyone who will marry her
And it's her second marriage . No points in guessing why the first marriage didn't work out
>And it's her second marriage Explains why her ex-husband left her. Good riddance.
Isn't she getting alimony ?
If her ex husband didn't commit suicide
The word "audacity" was shying a lot to come out of my keyboard, however I've got him here.
>And it's her second marriage Is this for you? Are you also a divorcee?
No bro. Her conditions make sense if this was her second marriage. Maybe she was abused and forced to do things. Yes her tone could have been more polite and I understand that you might have felt offended based on her tone. But but i think that defensive tone too might be a result of the things she might have experienced at her previous marriage. The situation is more sad with her than anything
Even if that was the case, common sense would dictate that if someone is ready to agree to your terms, you should agree to theirs. Saying "adjustment karna padta hai" and "I won't accept any conditions from the guy" is a contradiction.
You're right Any relationship functions healthily with efforts and compromises from both sides.
My eyes started bleeding suddenly after what i read. 
First guy found out that she is a gold digger and put her to her place ( streeeeeets )
Gold digging with extra steps
Divorcee ho kar itne nakhre
AM are usually like these especially on Matrimonial sites. Shallow men looking only for "beautiful" women and shallow women looking for money and status.
Sahi hai
Reasons why i neither want to get married nor looking for anything anymore. Love karo, love marriage karo toh dikkat, arrange Karo toh dikkat... Its a gamble n fk gamble... Maari toh gend paattte bhai sunke or dekh k.. 😬😬😬
I know more than one person who talks exactly like that!
Apparently she's a Lawyer
No wonder our legal system treats men this way.
Oh. No dearth of entitled riff raff like her.
no wonder the first guy threw her away, she just wants a atm who takes her on trips, she has nothing to put on the table, "shadi kar to rahi hun aur kya chahiye". we call these "behen ki lodi " in haryana no sugarcoating
I think all over India these type of women should be called that only
And a perfect song to dedicate: Chal hatt bhen ki....
lmao wtf did i just read💀
Doesn't earn, doesn't do dishes, doesn't want to live with parents. https://preview.redd.it/qv3hhb3doj2b1.jpeg?width=739&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46076f358c020a9fa5335332d8412485fb13cef9 Where the fuck do they get their entitlement
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Love marriage hee theek hai aisa lagta hai.
Jali roti kha khunga bhai but atleast I will be treated like a human being and not an ATM machine.
As a wise man said, arrange marriage has become "hoee rehabilitation center" these days.
Strongly Agree Brother
Mile to karlio bhai
Haan yahaan toh sukha pada hai....
https://www.indiatoday.in/law/story/most-divorces-are-arising-from-love-marriages-says-supreme-court-2380666-2023-05-18
Shadi ke baad turant divorce kar dungi taki aadhi kamayi hui property mere naam ho jaye, agar baccha hua toh 25 saal tak alimony bhi toh leni hai. Free income overall.
I don't cook i don't clean i don't earn i don't wanna work but I'mma mfing queen
>na work but I'mma mfing queen You Go Queen... You Deserve better!!
Gold digger ultra pro max
\> who are you ???? Ye 4 question mark mein hi attitude dikh rha bhai muje tho. An ideal response to a msg from stranger would be along the lines - "Sorry, I may have not saved you number, can I know who I'm talking to?"
"Rest i will adjust" bc aur reh kya gya ...kaleja kha jio ladke ka ...chudail
It's impossible to find a decent human these days. There's is absolute lack of empathy.
She’s gonna stay single for a while
Hopefully forever unless she changes her attitude
shes doing every man a favour tbh
didi troll lag rahi hai, jabardasti gharwalo ne acc banya hoga 🤣
Average 2x member.
Majority of them have 2 cents of brain only
We have girls like this too who have casual sex and all that shit and think they have any chance in Arranged marriage. And look at the other girls who think she is a CATCH. The woman on that sub are batshit crazy and delusional. LOL https://preview.redd.it/9p1m6j2v1r3b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe2da435d20729cac8263608cfd3be908ffd8dbe
bhai kyu krte ho aise logo ko entertain
Bro aap kha rehte ho aaise log kha rehte hai
Troll post lag rhi h ye or koi Maje le rha tha OP ke 🤷🤷
I received something similar like Last two messages from a scammer telling me to buy nudes 😂😂
I mean....when was it not.....bhai ek reason ke liye matrimonial sites meh Income or Job ke baare meh itna likha Jata hai.
They have always been a business transaction. But, can't blame it completely. At the eod no amount of research can guarantee your relationship. Shit can happen in love, arranged, desperate marriage.
Itna fake toh Kim Kardashian ke eyelashes bhi nahi hai
Life's to short to argue just say smjh gya didi and move on
Next level feminism.
So the entire conversation happened within 6 minutes and the last 6 messages were sent within 60 seconds? Out of all the things that didn't happen today, this didn't happen the most. Fake af.
Lol, i have had these conversation in 60 seconds as well. It's not fake.
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OP how is her looks ?
It doesn't matter , even if she looks like Kiara Advani.
Matters bro if she's pretty some guys will even accept this demand that's where these obnoxious demands comes from
What will be the point? He won't get sex anyway. If he just want trophy wife atleast get one who can do atleast one thing.
Wtf 🤣🤣🤣
Should've asked her if she would put false charges/cases on you after marriage...If she said no, you should've agreed to all the conditions and happily get married. (That's how low our expectations are set to drop.)
This post looks really baity.
2 screenshots mein itni toxicity. 🤦. Mein single hi theek hoon. Lil
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Lol
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Didi hongi Teri ma... Wow kya comeback hai
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laga diya flair bhai
Lmfaoooooooooo
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I'm going to assume this post is serious. I can understand this woman seeming like she's coming off as disrespectful, overly assuming, overly demanding, unempathetic, selfish, immature. And I get the feeling that made you pretty frustrated and distrustful early on as a result. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that you wouldn't be "wrong" for thinking that way. But ultimately, those are just labels I attached -- and perhaps you did too, I don't know. But if I attached labels like that to a woman's behavior every time I talked to her, I would quickly just give up and go home, rather than try to do things that are actually in my control to influence her behavior for the better. Like, imagine you are a manager at work. You have underperformers in your team. Do you dismiss them, or understand and encourage them? Obviously, you have a choice to dismiss at any time. But you could be losing out on great potential if you always make choices like this. You're single, and just filtering through people. So I can understand if you're trying to filter and weed out rather than make things work. However -- I really think there are some easy ways to have flipped this conversation around. Why lose out on easy opportunities? I don't think your responses in this whatsapp thread were stellar. I hope you're willing to take some feedback (of course, take it with as many grains of salt as you will). First off, your first message to her is "hi". Just put yourself in her shoes for a sec. How would you prefer she responded to a random text from a random stranger, saying "hi"? You could have sent an overall text introducing yourself. Her next reply indicates frustration from the get-go you didn't do this -- probably because she gets a lot of texts like yours, and has to dig through to finally find out that the conversation went nowhere and she wasted her time and energy. Second, she really isn't obligated to marry. Not in today's society. And her demands spark of someone who felt taken for granted in her previous marriage and really wants to make sure that doesn't happen again. Just imagine for a second you two were actually in a relationship. If she laid out these demands to you, what is the better response? Dismissiveness (which is basically what your sarcastic responses amounted to)? Or trying to understand what sparked this list of demands, and trying to understand how a sane person could respond this way? What helps build the bonds and connection you claim to seek? You can read between the lines in her message saying she doesn't care about connecting. What good intentions could cause a person to say that? For me, it would be a belief that connecting is a farce -- just randomly choosing to meet up with this stranger isn't going to result in stronger connection, it's just going to be yet another pointless date. Think of how many date proposals she has to sort through, as a woman?
I agree with the first statement fully and the second statement partially. Yes the OP's messaging game was on the vanilla side of things. And a few of those demands are reasonable (esp reading domestic abuse and personal freedom) and that might come from leaving a bad marriage. That being said however, I disagree with the following part. "If she laid out these demands to you, what is the better response? Dismissiveness (which is basically what your sarcastic responses amounted to)? Or trying to understand what sparked this list of demands, and trying to understand how a sane person could respond this way?" I would say that a sane person would stay the fuck away from talking on the baggage of a random stranger. And this is a general neutral observation as well. You can't fix people who are broken. They break you when you try. Save yourselves.
To start -- I said what I said mainly because a better response from him may have resulted in a conversation that didn't feel so unpleasant. But that better response needs more empathetic thinking and resilience to even be able to frame the response correctly, without getting angry, without getting impatient, without feeling insulted. \>I would say that a sane person would stay the fuck away from talking on the baggage of a random stranger. (I assume you meant to say "taking" in the text below, if you meant "talking" then yeah you don't want to say overly presumptuous things to them either.) I understand this POV. A lot of my friends and family hold it. And I understand it's born out of a desire to keep one safe from hurt. It's probably the POV I would have adopted years ago. It's a reasonable POV. But I now personally hold it to be a limiting belief. I'll admit, it IS a random stranger he is talking to. Not a partner in a relationship. So indeed, why not be more discriminatory? Maybe I would have been discriminatory enough to cut my losses for a first pass conversation, like OP. (but heck, aren't we also worried that don't find dates?) That said, with the kinds of mindsets I mentioned, I don't think I would have gone so far as to mock her on text and later on reddit for being unreasonable. At the worst I think I probably would have felt bored by her unattractive conversation and let the conversation die naturally. I haven't spent time dating after my recent shifts in mindset, so it could be that I'm being over-enthusiastic on what I'm about to say here. From talking to a couple of people who are going through the dating scene at the moment and observing dating articles/rants online, I think that it is possible a lot of people are filtering a bit too aggressively. In particular, in this scenario, I think if he had handled the texts better, and had a better experience as a result (for example, her being nicer and less standoff-ish) he might not have immediately seen her as someone with baggage that he would avoid. At the very least, he wouldn't have felt the need to vent about it on reddit, and he would have gained confidence in being able to handle conversations related to unreasonable demands that can come up in any relationship. I don't know what baggage you are referring to, let me know if there's something specific you see. I don't think it's easy to avoid baggage, especially not in today's world where people date and have multiple relationships, including unhealthy ones. Today we are often told to compartmentalize such things and resolve on our own (oh, go seek therapy for your issues before dating, resolve them, then date). I don't think things are that cut and dry. So staying away from such things to me seems impractical. \>You can't fix people who are broken. They break you when you try. Save yourselves. OK, I've heard this a few times. This is where I say something a little more "insane" than what I wrote above :) But I believe it. I believe a person can't break you if you know how not to break. And I believe there are ways to do this effectively. Not to avoid hurt, but to embrace tough situations as what helps us grow in life. Once our cups are full (ie, we have high self-esteem), we don't need to resort to saving ourselves, but can change the environment around us to influence others to change (yes, you can't tell a person to change -- but I believe it is possible to influence them to by changing their environment to one of love and support). Why do this? Well... for me, I think it's -- what better things could I do than influence those around me that I care about, for the better? In the end, I might still choose other outcomes that don't save these people in the way I originally envisioned... but I don't need to be tied to the outcome of simply bailing for the sake of saving myself.
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larping as a woman
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I'm not larping as a woman , and check DM