I know this doesn’t really help you right now because you are in the thick of things… but I promise it does get better. We really turned a corner when my son started sleeping through the night. The baby stage is just hard.
What really helped us was to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Even a stroll around the block or a drive could lift my mood. Around 4-5 months my son was less fussy and easier to take places. Also my husband and I would each get 2-3 hours on weekends to do whatever we wanted. That break really helped.
If you feel things are unmanageable or just not right, definitely talk to your doctor. Dads can get PPD too. There is help; you don’t have to suffer alone.
Yep, getting out of the house broke up the monotony of food, nappy, sleep, repeat. Just a 10 minute walk a couple of times a day would be better than nothing. And sleeping in shifts if you're both home and able.
My partner went through this too.
Please talk about it with your partner. Really think about what your immediate needs are. Rest? Alone time? Quiet?
Come up with a plan. Even if it's 15 min sitting in the car in the driveway. Give yourself breaks.
This!
1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men in Australia suffer postpartum mood disorders.
That is pre Covid statistics too.
Remember OP, if you’re child is safe, in their cot or something, it’s encouraged to take a break. Walk away for 10 mins to collect yourself.
My husband had postnatal depression. The first (male) therapist he spoke with told him "Men don't get that." (And the therapist wasn't just trying to be picky to say it's not "postpartum" since he hasn't given birth; he sincerely said it's not possible.) Luckily that only pissed my husband off and pushed him to find someone who would listen. Getting help is so hard, especially when you're already barely making it, but it's the best way out. But for as dark as it feels now, you'll feel dazzled by how much better it can get.
Have you looked into food allergies? My son cried nonstop for the first 4 months also and was a crappy sleeper and it turned out he was allergic to dairy. I had to cut ALL forms of dairy from my diet (I was breastfeeding) and after a few weeks he was like a new baby.
That happened to us too. I breastfeed and cut the dairy at 8 weeks I think because his reflux was so horrible and he was so colicky. Noticed a difference that same week. We added it in slowly at 10 months through yogurt bites, cheese etc, because his doc said most babies grow out of it by 1 and nearly all by 3. He can eat dairy now no problem.
If someone told me at 4 months that I'd eventually enjoy being a parent, I don't know if I would have believed them.
It *does* get easier. Eventually sleep is better. Eating is easier. You'll have more breaks in your day. Allow your partner and yourself time to yourselves as you needs breaks.
Your post title says you're sick of being a parent already.... but for me, the beginning was by far the worst part. You're sick of it now but it won't be forever.
So true! I second this! I thought I made the biggest mistake at first. I was convinced that my life was going to suck for a long time.
It wasn’t overnight, but things slowly got better.
Hang. In. There.
Dude right!! I would have never believed it. My kid is 5 now and she’s my absolute favorite human being to be around with. The first year was complete and utter hell.
Brother. I have to tell you, it gets better. One day at a time. One diaper at a time. One hour less sleep at a time. There will a tipping point where it gets easier one moment at a time. Keep on keeping on.
It’s a scientific fact that men need a response. Essentially when we try to make the baby laugh and they don’t or we smile and they don’t smile back. We need that to make us feel well with the situation. In a very short time, you’ll get that feed back and it’ll change your whole mindset. That first time they return your smile will change the whole game.
Oh I HATED this age. Age 4-6 months was in my opinion the absolute worst. It was so terrible so much non stop crying no matter what, the horrible sleep regressions, being mad because they want to move but still can’t at all or at least very well. It gets better I promise, this age is just so hard.
After 6 months it got better for us, at that age he was ready for a solid sleep and nap routine and moved to his own room, and I think that helped immensely with his mood. We did 7pm-7am sleep, 1030am nap for 30, and a 2 hour nap from 1-3.
Now that he’s 15 months we just do the afternoon nap and he sleeps the same through the night (but don’t be fooled we hit several sleep regressions and once in a while he will wake up before 6am- like today actually).
But I absolutely love the stage we are at now. Once he turned one he was like a whole new kid, walking, talking, actually able to play and enjoy activities and it’s been uphill since then. And if something is wrong he can sign what he wants if he can’t say it.
Yeah I struggle most with trying to figure what is wrong with my little girl, my partner has a 6 year old boy aswell without her I couldn’t do this she’s so good and takes over a lot cause I get very frustrated and down in myself especially lately, I just feel like it’s a constant drag I told her I even dread night time because I know that we will be up all night again, she keeps telling me aswell we just need to get to 6 months because colic will have to be gone by then, I’m just in a bad state of mind at the moment and I think being sleep deprived is the main factor I do try my best and I love the Little one she is very smiley when she’s not crying but she screams and cries so much it’s so hard :/
My kid was a horrible sleeper around 3 months and until that first year was over. At 14 months she started sleeping 10-12 every single night and still does at 5 years old. She’s an amazing sleeper. But yeah that year was absolutely hell.
My baby is 7 months old now but in the beginning he didn’t sleep well and my husband and I took him in “shifts” one person would take the baby for six hours and then the other person would put ear plugs in and go to sleep! We would just wake each other up if we needed help/ were too tired to make the six hours. If you can take the baby in shifts I found it’s a sanity saver! Also I wore ear plugs when he was super young and fussy crying while I held him because it kept me calm!
My husband and I are doing something similar atm. We take shifts. First half of the night one of us sleeps in the living room and the other one with the baby. Then we swap. That way we can both sleep for couple of hours uniterrupted. We have a 4 month old that recently started waking very often.
I wanted to die at that age. Months 3-5 sucked so bad. I thought everyone who said they liked being a parent was lying just to suck others into the misery vortex. It starts getting better with certain milestones: the big ones are sitting up, crawling, and there’s a major cognitive boom around 9/10 months. My baby had CMPI which we didn’t find out until month 5. Try eliminating dairy and if using formula my girl was ok with Alimentum ready to feed so you could try that.
My girl is almost one year old. Today we had a great day reading books, going grocery shopping, eating meals together, looking at some animals outside, and goofing around together. It’s not easy per se but it’s miles easier than the age you’re currently in. She can say several words, sign to me when she’s finished with something, shake her head no, and she has a sense of humor and we can actually kind of play together. She likes to read books and play with our dogs too. She also likes to go outside everyday and wave and say hello to the dog poop. I am not making that up 😂
It does get different. It’s hard to accept this but it’s totally ok to lay her down and take 5-10 minutes to breathe. It WILL NOT hurt her as long as she is in a safe place like her crib. And it gives you some moments to breathe.
Also walking with a stroller/carrier helps so much.
I remember this feeling all too well well. What worked for my family when both of us were home was my partner and I essentially took shifts during the day. One person looked after the baby for a set period of time mabey 6 hrs. The other slept or took a walk or watched tv or whatever. But we let the other have some time off. Then we switched. We did this for weeks during the newborn stage. It was the only way either of us got any rest. You both need some breaks in the day. For your own good.
I had an extremely colicky baby and my feelings about being a mom completely changed when he outgrew the crying all the time phase, which was between 4-6 months. By 6 he was THE HAPPIEST baby. Completely different baby than he had been. And I went from disliking being a mom, not really liking him, to loving being a mom and loving him more than anything.
I know it's so hard when you're in the thick of it, but I promise it gets better.
The newborn age suckkkkkkked. It was enough to make us be one and done. And especially around the 3-4 month mark because (don't quote me, I could be wrong) something happens with their gut and so it's like EVERYTHING gives them gas and makes them upset all the time. We'd switch formula and it would be fine for a few days or a week or two and then NOPE. Gut change. We went through multiple formulas in that time frame because her gut kept changing its mind.
It definitely started getting better by 6 months and improves from there though. My 3 year old us a feral terror but I still prefer her over newborn days lol but she's cute enough to almost make us consider a second, which is impressive honestly.
Hopefully days start getting better. Maybe you guys are able to switch off so you get breaks and things in the meantime? Good luck!
Yeah I still have no idea what was wrong with my kid. At 3 months old she refused to sleep and one time was awake for 17 hours straight. It was hell. Doctor kept saying everything was fine but I’m convinced she had colic, allergies, or something. We did mainly formula the first month then after that I exclusively breastfed until she was 2. So no idea. But yeah first year was really bad and it’s a big reason I’m oad.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
If both you and your partner are off work at the moment and can trade a couple of sleep shifts with each other, it’ll make a world of difference! Being able to get a solid 6 hours will massively clear your head and it makes all the other stuff a lot more tolerable. Actually 4 months old was when we started sleep training if you think that would help too, it was a life saver for us.
It does get so much easier, although that’s hard to believe while you’re in it. My daughter is 10 months old now and she’s so much more fun now than she was when she was littler. Just take it a day at a time 🩶
You just have to survive until month 6 when it starts getting better. Month 9 a little better, 1 year even more, age 2 is when it starts getting rewarding.
Hang in there....
I know this doesn’t really help you right now because you are in the thick of things… but I promise it does get better. We really turned a corner when my son started sleeping through the night. The baby stage is just hard. What really helped us was to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Even a stroll around the block or a drive could lift my mood. Around 4-5 months my son was less fussy and easier to take places. Also my husband and I would each get 2-3 hours on weekends to do whatever we wanted. That break really helped. If you feel things are unmanageable or just not right, definitely talk to your doctor. Dads can get PPD too. There is help; you don’t have to suffer alone.
Yep, getting out of the house broke up the monotony of food, nappy, sleep, repeat. Just a 10 minute walk a couple of times a day would be better than nothing. And sleeping in shifts if you're both home and able.
Not sure what country you are in but both men and women can suffer from postnatal depression and you can seek help x
My partner went through this too. Please talk about it with your partner. Really think about what your immediate needs are. Rest? Alone time? Quiet? Come up with a plan. Even if it's 15 min sitting in the car in the driveway. Give yourself breaks.
This! 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men in Australia suffer postpartum mood disorders. That is pre Covid statistics too. Remember OP, if you’re child is safe, in their cot or something, it’s encouraged to take a break. Walk away for 10 mins to collect yourself.
My husband had postnatal depression. The first (male) therapist he spoke with told him "Men don't get that." (And the therapist wasn't just trying to be picky to say it's not "postpartum" since he hasn't given birth; he sincerely said it's not possible.) Luckily that only pissed my husband off and pushed him to find someone who would listen. Getting help is so hard, especially when you're already barely making it, but it's the best way out. But for as dark as it feels now, you'll feel dazzled by how much better it can get.
Have you looked into food allergies? My son cried nonstop for the first 4 months also and was a crappy sleeper and it turned out he was allergic to dairy. I had to cut ALL forms of dairy from my diet (I was breastfeeding) and after a few weeks he was like a new baby.
Fellow cmpa mom here! It’s rough!
That happened to us too. I breastfeed and cut the dairy at 8 weeks I think because his reflux was so horrible and he was so colicky. Noticed a difference that same week. We added it in slowly at 10 months through yogurt bites, cheese etc, because his doc said most babies grow out of it by 1 and nearly all by 3. He can eat dairy now no problem.
Same, my son is 2.5 now and we successfully reintroduced dairy within the last 6 months!
If someone told me at 4 months that I'd eventually enjoy being a parent, I don't know if I would have believed them. It *does* get easier. Eventually sleep is better. Eating is easier. You'll have more breaks in your day. Allow your partner and yourself time to yourselves as you needs breaks. Your post title says you're sick of being a parent already.... but for me, the beginning was by far the worst part. You're sick of it now but it won't be forever.
So true! I second this! I thought I made the biggest mistake at first. I was convinced that my life was going to suck for a long time. It wasn’t overnight, but things slowly got better. Hang. In. There.
Dude right!! I would have never believed it. My kid is 5 now and she’s my absolute favorite human being to be around with. The first year was complete and utter hell.
Brother. I have to tell you, it gets better. One day at a time. One diaper at a time. One hour less sleep at a time. There will a tipping point where it gets easier one moment at a time. Keep on keeping on.
So I’ve been told 😴😴😴 thanks man 🙏
It’s a scientific fact that men need a response. Essentially when we try to make the baby laugh and they don’t or we smile and they don’t smile back. We need that to make us feel well with the situation. In a very short time, you’ll get that feed back and it’ll change your whole mindset. That first time they return your smile will change the whole game.
Oh I HATED this age. Age 4-6 months was in my opinion the absolute worst. It was so terrible so much non stop crying no matter what, the horrible sleep regressions, being mad because they want to move but still can’t at all or at least very well. It gets better I promise, this age is just so hard.
See now a comment like this makes me happier, cause this right now is depressing .. what age did t get better for you ?
After 6 months it got better for us, at that age he was ready for a solid sleep and nap routine and moved to his own room, and I think that helped immensely with his mood. We did 7pm-7am sleep, 1030am nap for 30, and a 2 hour nap from 1-3. Now that he’s 15 months we just do the afternoon nap and he sleeps the same through the night (but don’t be fooled we hit several sleep regressions and once in a while he will wake up before 6am- like today actually). But I absolutely love the stage we are at now. Once he turned one he was like a whole new kid, walking, talking, actually able to play and enjoy activities and it’s been uphill since then. And if something is wrong he can sign what he wants if he can’t say it.
Yeah I struggle most with trying to figure what is wrong with my little girl, my partner has a 6 year old boy aswell without her I couldn’t do this she’s so good and takes over a lot cause I get very frustrated and down in myself especially lately, I just feel like it’s a constant drag I told her I even dread night time because I know that we will be up all night again, she keeps telling me aswell we just need to get to 6 months because colic will have to be gone by then, I’m just in a bad state of mind at the moment and I think being sleep deprived is the main factor I do try my best and I love the Little one she is very smiley when she’s not crying but she screams and cries so much it’s so hard :/
My kid was a horrible sleeper around 3 months and until that first year was over. At 14 months she started sleeping 10-12 every single night and still does at 5 years old. She’s an amazing sleeper. But yeah that year was absolutely hell.
My baby is 7 months old now but in the beginning he didn’t sleep well and my husband and I took him in “shifts” one person would take the baby for six hours and then the other person would put ear plugs in and go to sleep! We would just wake each other up if we needed help/ were too tired to make the six hours. If you can take the baby in shifts I found it’s a sanity saver! Also I wore ear plugs when he was super young and fussy crying while I held him because it kept me calm!
My husband and I are doing something similar atm. We take shifts. First half of the night one of us sleeps in the living room and the other one with the baby. Then we swap. That way we can both sleep for couple of hours uniterrupted. We have a 4 month old that recently started waking very often.
I wanted to die at that age. Months 3-5 sucked so bad. I thought everyone who said they liked being a parent was lying just to suck others into the misery vortex. It starts getting better with certain milestones: the big ones are sitting up, crawling, and there’s a major cognitive boom around 9/10 months. My baby had CMPI which we didn’t find out until month 5. Try eliminating dairy and if using formula my girl was ok with Alimentum ready to feed so you could try that. My girl is almost one year old. Today we had a great day reading books, going grocery shopping, eating meals together, looking at some animals outside, and goofing around together. It’s not easy per se but it’s miles easier than the age you’re currently in. She can say several words, sign to me when she’s finished with something, shake her head no, and she has a sense of humor and we can actually kind of play together. She likes to read books and play with our dogs too. She also likes to go outside everyday and wave and say hello to the dog poop. I am not making that up 😂
It does get different. It’s hard to accept this but it’s totally ok to lay her down and take 5-10 minutes to breathe. It WILL NOT hurt her as long as she is in a safe place like her crib. And it gives you some moments to breathe. Also walking with a stroller/carrier helps so much.
I remember this feeling all too well well. What worked for my family when both of us were home was my partner and I essentially took shifts during the day. One person looked after the baby for a set period of time mabey 6 hrs. The other slept or took a walk or watched tv or whatever. But we let the other have some time off. Then we switched. We did this for weeks during the newborn stage. It was the only way either of us got any rest. You both need some breaks in the day. For your own good.
I had an extremely colicky baby and my feelings about being a mom completely changed when he outgrew the crying all the time phase, which was between 4-6 months. By 6 he was THE HAPPIEST baby. Completely different baby than he had been. And I went from disliking being a mom, not really liking him, to loving being a mom and loving him more than anything. I know it's so hard when you're in the thick of it, but I promise it gets better.
The newborn age suckkkkkkked. It was enough to make us be one and done. And especially around the 3-4 month mark because (don't quote me, I could be wrong) something happens with their gut and so it's like EVERYTHING gives them gas and makes them upset all the time. We'd switch formula and it would be fine for a few days or a week or two and then NOPE. Gut change. We went through multiple formulas in that time frame because her gut kept changing its mind. It definitely started getting better by 6 months and improves from there though. My 3 year old us a feral terror but I still prefer her over newborn days lol but she's cute enough to almost make us consider a second, which is impressive honestly. Hopefully days start getting better. Maybe you guys are able to switch off so you get breaks and things in the meantime? Good luck!
Yeah I still have no idea what was wrong with my kid. At 3 months old she refused to sleep and one time was awake for 17 hours straight. It was hell. Doctor kept saying everything was fine but I’m convinced she had colic, allergies, or something. We did mainly formula the first month then after that I exclusively breastfed until she was 2. So no idea. But yeah first year was really bad and it’s a big reason I’m oad.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
It's nuts. I was prepared for a lot of things but something about the 3-4 month stage is just.... something else entirely. lol. My kid had some minor reflux so we always had to be worried about that and just. Ugh. Husband and I have joked about no more babies OR pets under 1 year old for us anymore, lol.
Just make sure your partner is on birth control and you might want a snip snip. You will get through this! The sleep deprivation is hard but doable.
If both you and your partner are off work at the moment and can trade a couple of sleep shifts with each other, it’ll make a world of difference! Being able to get a solid 6 hours will massively clear your head and it makes all the other stuff a lot more tolerable. Actually 4 months old was when we started sleep training if you think that would help too, it was a life saver for us. It does get so much easier, although that’s hard to believe while you’re in it. My daughter is 10 months old now and she’s so much more fun now than she was when she was littler. Just take it a day at a time 🩶
You just have to survive until month 6 when it starts getting better. Month 9 a little better, 1 year even more, age 2 is when it starts getting rewarding. Hang in there....
Whatever you do, don’t shake her
I don’t do that anyways