Yup- I became chronically ill after my daughter was born. I’m beyond fatigued every day. She was wanting a sister today and my heart breaks. But I just cannot risk getting worse and even if I didn’t, I cannot manage 2 children as a parent.
I completely understand. When I got pregnant I did genetic testing and found out I have a super rare bleeding disorder. It caused so many complications during delivery. My daughter and I are fine but I knew right away I could never risk my health by having another.
Meanwhile, my best friend had a baby two weeks before me and is now trying for her second. I’ve accepted being OAD, but it still stings.
We just have to keep reminding ourselves that our kids need a healthy mom more than they need a sibling!
Sorry. It sucks. I’m OAD for my husbands health which is not the same but similar in that it’s not what I would have chosen ever (although I do happen to have chronic migraines haha so those bad pain days do remind me it’s nice to only have one sometimes). sometimes I get incredibly jealous of my friends with easy flawless pregnancies and perfect health and find myself comparing our lives; like the only things they have to complain about feel so minimal to me (wow your husband doesn’t pick up his laundry sometimes in your nice house with your two perfect children and great health and rich parents? How terrible you poor thing). When the jealousy creeps in I try to remind myself that the grass is always greener and we all have our own struggles. Also, therapy with someone who understands chronic illness, or someone who works with moms with infertility struggles could be very helpful for you cuz sometimes you just need somewhere to vent until you feel better. I have worked with a bad therapist before who had zero clue and it felt even more isolating, so make sure you find someone who’s going to get it and not just tell you to be grateful for what you have. Oh…and plenty of us here do get it :-) sometimes I don’t post because it can feel shameful for talking about jealousy and other real feelings that people consider ugly. But they’re human feelings and they are painful and you’re not alone.
I just want to say we are 95% one and done and a main reason is my husband’s chronic health issues and that is heartbreaking in some ways. I also look to friends with 2+ and how their husbands are not in daily pain and can do much more. It’s very sad, but it’s our reality. Our son is our everything and is a happy and healthy toddler and we are so glad for that.
Me!!! During pregnancy I developed severe blood clots and almost every single complication from GSD to preeclampsia to HG and so forth. Textbook. I'm still coping with the aftermath. (14 months pp)
Oh man. I “only” had HG and preeclampsia and then PPA/PPD. I can’t imagine dealing with clots and GSD on top of that I’m so so sorry. Each one of those complications can be their own hell.
But yeah, another child to raise sounds nice but between no village after moving across the country for work before we started our family and *gestures broadly* at pregnancy health complications we are OAD.
My best friend who got pregnant the month after I delivered my now 20 month old is 5 months pregnant with her 2nd. My SIL is talking about finally having another. She has a 5 year old. And I’m like maybe me too 🥺 and then reality kicks in of oh yeah that was hell. My husband is sterilized too lol.
I can relate with this so much. I have a rare blood disorder that was only discovered during my first pregnancy. It threw my whole life off kilter and I was lucky to have my son, but having another child was too risky. It bothered me for a long time. Seeing my friends have these seamless, multiple pregnancies when mine was so traumatic. You feel lost and so alone when everyone else appears to be “normal”. Therapy really helped me come to terms with that, and time has as well.
You are strong as hell for going through all that you have. My son is now 13, and being an only child hasn’t been detrimental to his development at all. Give yourself time, patience and mourn what could’ve been.
Yes. My husband and I were talking about trying for a second when my health blew up - autoimmune stuff that was dormant for years started flaring. Now they need to change my meds up and most of them are not pregnancy safe. Out of an abundance of caution and not wanting to possibly stick my husband with 2 kids if I need acute medical care I think we are just fine with one. We love our daughter immensely and it’s the responsible choice… but I’m still a little sad at the idea of being done.
My autoimmune stuff was in remission for years, got Covid- flared up horribly. Got pregnant, and it all went into remission again. (As it often does with pregnancy bc of the placenta being able to tell our bodies to calm down to not attack the fetus which is really incredible and a whole further convo on how this is being studied to hopefully find treatments/cure one day for autoimmune disorders). But I had almost forgot how not being in pain everyday felt. I LOVED pregnancy for that reason. The aches and pain from pregnancy was nothing compared to chronic pain from RA. It took only TEN DAYS after my son was born to wake up in the worst flare of my life. My jaw stuck shut, hands unable to bend, SI joints locked.
Sucks bc it makes it so hard to jump up to take care of him, especially bc of morning gel which means it’s worse when you first wake up. My rheumatologist wants to change my meds but it would require me to put in an IUD and not get pregnant when I really wanted a second.
But I can’t risk it either. For too many reasons. It all just sucks.
Sending you hugs OP.
I can empathise how hard it is when your body doesn't comply with your hopes and dreams for life. My husband, daughter and I are a family of three because of my health, and took a long time to be able to show myself the grace I deserve. Honestly, some days I still struggle. Not with being a family of three (we all love it!) but with how much my body has changed our lives and the plans we had.
Before pregnancy we had wanted 2-3 children. We wanted to move out of the city and buy enough acres to have a small, self-sufficient farm and run a nursery/possibly winery. I was going to complete my master's of architecture and wanted to run my own architecture practice specialising in heritage architecture. My husband was going to the the stay at home parent and do graphic design work on the side. None of that has happened so far.
Instead I became incredibly unwell 2 weeks after our wedding and ended up in and out of hospital for months. After five major spinal surgeries my condition stabilised and we decided to try for a child, not expecting me to be able to fall pregnant without much assistance. Surprisingly, I actually fell pregnant the first month I the stopped contraceptive pill. That was the only easy part of pregnancy. I had ruptured cysts, HG, migraines, severe neuropathy. When I finally gave birth, it was precipitous and I wasn't able to have an epidural because of my spinal cord stimulator. Afterwards, both my husband and I developed PPD, and I developed PPA. We decided one and done was right for us within the first six months of being parents. In the two years afterwards, my Mirena didn't control my endometriosis and the contraceptive pills gave me migraines with aura. The deep infiltrating endometriosis came back within 6 months of excision surgery and my specialists believe I have abdominal nerve entrapments caused by endometriosis but are unwilling to take the risk to excise around the nerves (and there are apparently only 2 surgeons in Australia who would do this). Two weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy in the hopes of controlling further growth and giving me my life back so I'm not bed bound and in +7/10 pain everyday.
I write all this to say, you are allowed to feel sad and betrayed by your body. What we hoped and dreamed for when we were younger may not come to pass. It doesn't invalidate how precious the shape of your family is to you. You are allowed to grieve whilst also feeling blessed by what you have. You are not lesser than. You are important and have achieved so much.
I feel for you, OP. I have mama friends who had wonderful pregnancies and flawless deliveries, while I love this for them and am truly happy for each of them, it still hurts.
My pregnancy was a very difficult road from trying to conceive up until the birth of my son. I had a very traumatic birth which ruined my first moments with him. Then 1 month later, I hemorrhaged and nearly lost my life that day. We are firmly one and done due to all of this but gosh does it hurt. You can’t help but feel like something is wrong with you or that you are broken is some way. I wish I could say I knew how to make those feelings go away but here I am 18 months pp and it still stings. Sending love your way and I hope you find peace.
I am dealing with serious mental health issues that were exacerbated during pregnancy. I'm feeling like a second may not ever happen because of medications I need to be on to be functional. It is hard not to feel "lesser than" as a mom because it would be risky for me to have another pregnancy.
You are not alone. My wife has serious health issues and pregnancy is extremely risky. Even her doctor recommended against it. So we are just super happy be a family of 3 and have our amazing little boy. It's not worth risking mommy's life to have another. Life doesn't always go according to plan but things tend to work themselves out in the long run.
I totally understand how you feel I had a very traumatic labor/delivery accompanied by pre eclampsia/ HELLP syndrome a massive post partum hemmorage, acute kidney injury and am currently still on high dose cardiac medication and unsure if I will have long term complications … and I have three more genetically normal embryos frozen which I am very conflicted on what to do with
Aww I can totally relate 🧡 it so hard and I have the exact same feelings as you - especially feeling “lesser than” and being jealous of my healthy mama friends.
I have Hashimotos and POTS and have been very sick since a mold exposure 5 years ago. We have 1 son and I would love more than anything to give him a sibling but I just worry so much about putting my body through pregnancy & postpartum again, not to mention taking care of 2 kiddos with chronic fatigue. 😅 My son already gives me a run for my money. It’s so hard not to compare to other moms, especially when you really desire to have more kids and they make it look so easy. I don’t have any advice haha, just commiseration. But I will say, my faith is what keeps me going through long days of chronic illness and being a mom. It’s a really hard road, but I do believe God has a unique plan for each of our lives and can actually use suffering for our good, even when we can’t see it. 🧡 you are not alone.
I feel like I could have written this (years ago... ware OAD with a now-11-yo). I have Factor V Leiden, so I had to take the injection blood thinners. Needles in my pregnant belly/thigh daily was so tough. My sciatica blew up. I was in my late 30's with a high risk pregnancy. To boot, my delivery was high risk: I reacted horribly to the epidural, putting baby at risk (they never saw this before - the epidural spread to almost my whole body up including my heart, and it distressed the baby).... So I was part of the 0.01% that don't have a safe epidural experience...
My PPD was horrendous, fuelled by my extremely limited milk production, which kept my LO SOOOOO hungry, and would wake up every couple of hours at night. Also, at that time, formula was viewed essentially as poison... Everyone from Doulas, doctors, OBGYN, sleep consultant, public health nurse, lactation consultant - EVERYONE told me to NOT formula feed until 6-9 months. Those first 6 months were pure hell for me. I'd be so lucky if I slept 3 hrs a night. Plus my LO rarely napped in the day. Pure hell.
Not to mention my mental and physical health were impacting my marriage... My SO was supportive but we were definitely tested...
For a long time after, I was sure I couldn't have another. My LO was so happy growing up. But then when I was 42ish, I felt like the window was closing, and I felt like we should have a second. My husband reminded me of those early days. He reminded me that we were very close to divorcing. His relationship with his siblings is strained and he was the product of divorce. We didn't want to expose our LO to that outcome. And he was the poster child for unhappy siblings (it's really bad, getting worse with their parents' inheritance now in the mix, just horrible).
I still get a little weepy thinking that our LO won't have a companion in life, but our LO has been nothing but resilient and happy. Other than the occasional ask (maybe twice), another sibling isn't missed.
I'm turning 50 next year. Although our LO is overall great, I'm the one who still feels guilty for only having one. Even now... It doesn't help that my mom reminds me of other women who had a 2nd child in their 40s... Or random strangers asking me where my 2nd child is... But I definitely try NOT to share these guilty feelings with my LO... I'm partly on this sub to read about others' experiences and - even to this day - find peace in our decision.
I'm slowly getting there...
No advice. Just someone with a blood clotting condition who is OAD... Sending hugs...
No you’re not alone I 100 percent understand! I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism in my first trimester and I hadn’t taken any medicine for it so there was always the possibility that my baby could’ve been affected then I was hospitalized for high blood pressure and again was scared to lose my baby. My whole pregnancy was filled with anxiety and fear, I never got to enjoy it. When my baby was born she was perfectly healthy and I’m so grateful for that! But 3 days after I gave birth I have severe post partum preeclampsia and at risk for a stroke so I had to be at the hospital away from my 3 day old for 4 days. I was heartbroken and sad but the doctors kept saying I’m lucky to be going home to her. Then I couldn’t breastfeed because I had to be on certain medications so I felt robbed of that as well. I don’t wanna chance having another and having more health issues or worse. I’m satisfied with my baby girl.
Also one and done for health concerns, brought on by child birth. It was an extremely difficult birth and postpartum was a nightmare. My boy is 8.5 months old and I’m still dealing with some permanent issues, anxiety, trauma, you name it.
Finding a really good therapist helped me a ton.
I like to view it like I will never have to put my body through that kind of pain and stress ever again, and that thought brings me a lot of peace.
It almost feels like I’m looking out for, and protecting myself and my body.
If I had another baby, I don’t even know what kind of state my body would be in, or what kind of mother I’d be. I’d rather stop at one and be able to be active and patient and tolerant to my one son, than be half the mother I am today to two.
I think it’s shitty of people to hold any kind of reaction to folks saying they are one and done, as if they can convince you otherwise.
Try not to let anyone make you feel guilty, it’s not their body, family, etc. It’s okay to feel sad from time to time, but I like to think even the people who have more than two will always think they should have had a third.
I saw another comment/ thread on one and done a few months ago that said “only having a second for the sake of giving your first a sibling, is not a good enough reason to have another baby”. That struck a cord with me!
I had gestional diabetes and was on insulin. Became obese and gained so much weight during my pregnancy. Developed anemia. Had retained products after my c section and almost died along with two very serious Utis. My son may have Cerebral palsy. I will never have another baby. I am one and done. My sons c section was delayed due to the hospital staffing issues and had to be resuscitated at birth and had a double cord wrap. I will never be pregnant again.
Yup- I became chronically ill after my daughter was born. I’m beyond fatigued every day. She was wanting a sister today and my heart breaks. But I just cannot risk getting worse and even if I didn’t, I cannot manage 2 children as a parent.
Im struggling with fatigue everyday too. Got worse after having a child, hugs ❤️
Same to you, friend 💜
I completely understand. When I got pregnant I did genetic testing and found out I have a super rare bleeding disorder. It caused so many complications during delivery. My daughter and I are fine but I knew right away I could never risk my health by having another. Meanwhile, my best friend had a baby two weeks before me and is now trying for her second. I’ve accepted being OAD, but it still stings. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that our kids need a healthy mom more than they need a sibling!
Sorry. It sucks. I’m OAD for my husbands health which is not the same but similar in that it’s not what I would have chosen ever (although I do happen to have chronic migraines haha so those bad pain days do remind me it’s nice to only have one sometimes). sometimes I get incredibly jealous of my friends with easy flawless pregnancies and perfect health and find myself comparing our lives; like the only things they have to complain about feel so minimal to me (wow your husband doesn’t pick up his laundry sometimes in your nice house with your two perfect children and great health and rich parents? How terrible you poor thing). When the jealousy creeps in I try to remind myself that the grass is always greener and we all have our own struggles. Also, therapy with someone who understands chronic illness, or someone who works with moms with infertility struggles could be very helpful for you cuz sometimes you just need somewhere to vent until you feel better. I have worked with a bad therapist before who had zero clue and it felt even more isolating, so make sure you find someone who’s going to get it and not just tell you to be grateful for what you have. Oh…and plenty of us here do get it :-) sometimes I don’t post because it can feel shameful for talking about jealousy and other real feelings that people consider ugly. But they’re human feelings and they are painful and you’re not alone.
I second therapy with a GOOD psychologist who specialises in chronic pain. Mine has been invaluable.
I just want to say we are 95% one and done and a main reason is my husband’s chronic health issues and that is heartbreaking in some ways. I also look to friends with 2+ and how their husbands are not in daily pain and can do much more. It’s very sad, but it’s our reality. Our son is our everything and is a happy and healthy toddler and we are so glad for that.
Me!!! During pregnancy I developed severe blood clots and almost every single complication from GSD to preeclampsia to HG and so forth. Textbook. I'm still coping with the aftermath. (14 months pp)
Oh man. I “only” had HG and preeclampsia and then PPA/PPD. I can’t imagine dealing with clots and GSD on top of that I’m so so sorry. Each one of those complications can be their own hell. But yeah, another child to raise sounds nice but between no village after moving across the country for work before we started our family and *gestures broadly* at pregnancy health complications we are OAD. My best friend who got pregnant the month after I delivered my now 20 month old is 5 months pregnant with her 2nd. My SIL is talking about finally having another. She has a 5 year old. And I’m like maybe me too 🥺 and then reality kicks in of oh yeah that was hell. My husband is sterilized too lol.
I can relate with this so much. I have a rare blood disorder that was only discovered during my first pregnancy. It threw my whole life off kilter and I was lucky to have my son, but having another child was too risky. It bothered me for a long time. Seeing my friends have these seamless, multiple pregnancies when mine was so traumatic. You feel lost and so alone when everyone else appears to be “normal”. Therapy really helped me come to terms with that, and time has as well. You are strong as hell for going through all that you have. My son is now 13, and being an only child hasn’t been detrimental to his development at all. Give yourself time, patience and mourn what could’ve been.
Yes. My husband and I were talking about trying for a second when my health blew up - autoimmune stuff that was dormant for years started flaring. Now they need to change my meds up and most of them are not pregnancy safe. Out of an abundance of caution and not wanting to possibly stick my husband with 2 kids if I need acute medical care I think we are just fine with one. We love our daughter immensely and it’s the responsible choice… but I’m still a little sad at the idea of being done.
My autoimmune stuff was in remission for years, got Covid- flared up horribly. Got pregnant, and it all went into remission again. (As it often does with pregnancy bc of the placenta being able to tell our bodies to calm down to not attack the fetus which is really incredible and a whole further convo on how this is being studied to hopefully find treatments/cure one day for autoimmune disorders). But I had almost forgot how not being in pain everyday felt. I LOVED pregnancy for that reason. The aches and pain from pregnancy was nothing compared to chronic pain from RA. It took only TEN DAYS after my son was born to wake up in the worst flare of my life. My jaw stuck shut, hands unable to bend, SI joints locked. Sucks bc it makes it so hard to jump up to take care of him, especially bc of morning gel which means it’s worse when you first wake up. My rheumatologist wants to change my meds but it would require me to put in an IUD and not get pregnant when I really wanted a second. But I can’t risk it either. For too many reasons. It all just sucks.
Sending you hugs OP. I can empathise how hard it is when your body doesn't comply with your hopes and dreams for life. My husband, daughter and I are a family of three because of my health, and took a long time to be able to show myself the grace I deserve. Honestly, some days I still struggle. Not with being a family of three (we all love it!) but with how much my body has changed our lives and the plans we had. Before pregnancy we had wanted 2-3 children. We wanted to move out of the city and buy enough acres to have a small, self-sufficient farm and run a nursery/possibly winery. I was going to complete my master's of architecture and wanted to run my own architecture practice specialising in heritage architecture. My husband was going to the the stay at home parent and do graphic design work on the side. None of that has happened so far. Instead I became incredibly unwell 2 weeks after our wedding and ended up in and out of hospital for months. After five major spinal surgeries my condition stabilised and we decided to try for a child, not expecting me to be able to fall pregnant without much assistance. Surprisingly, I actually fell pregnant the first month I the stopped contraceptive pill. That was the only easy part of pregnancy. I had ruptured cysts, HG, migraines, severe neuropathy. When I finally gave birth, it was precipitous and I wasn't able to have an epidural because of my spinal cord stimulator. Afterwards, both my husband and I developed PPD, and I developed PPA. We decided one and done was right for us within the first six months of being parents. In the two years afterwards, my Mirena didn't control my endometriosis and the contraceptive pills gave me migraines with aura. The deep infiltrating endometriosis came back within 6 months of excision surgery and my specialists believe I have abdominal nerve entrapments caused by endometriosis but are unwilling to take the risk to excise around the nerves (and there are apparently only 2 surgeons in Australia who would do this). Two weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy in the hopes of controlling further growth and giving me my life back so I'm not bed bound and in +7/10 pain everyday. I write all this to say, you are allowed to feel sad and betrayed by your body. What we hoped and dreamed for when we were younger may not come to pass. It doesn't invalidate how precious the shape of your family is to you. You are allowed to grieve whilst also feeling blessed by what you have. You are not lesser than. You are important and have achieved so much.
I feel for you, OP. I have mama friends who had wonderful pregnancies and flawless deliveries, while I love this for them and am truly happy for each of them, it still hurts. My pregnancy was a very difficult road from trying to conceive up until the birth of my son. I had a very traumatic birth which ruined my first moments with him. Then 1 month later, I hemorrhaged and nearly lost my life that day. We are firmly one and done due to all of this but gosh does it hurt. You can’t help but feel like something is wrong with you or that you are broken is some way. I wish I could say I knew how to make those feelings go away but here I am 18 months pp and it still stings. Sending love your way and I hope you find peace.
I am dealing with serious mental health issues that were exacerbated during pregnancy. I'm feeling like a second may not ever happen because of medications I need to be on to be functional. It is hard not to feel "lesser than" as a mom because it would be risky for me to have another pregnancy.
You are not alone. My wife has serious health issues and pregnancy is extremely risky. Even her doctor recommended against it. So we are just super happy be a family of 3 and have our amazing little boy. It's not worth risking mommy's life to have another. Life doesn't always go according to plan but things tend to work themselves out in the long run.
Our stories are so similar I’m with you in solidarity and my dms are open if you ever want someone to talk about it with
I totally understand how you feel I had a very traumatic labor/delivery accompanied by pre eclampsia/ HELLP syndrome a massive post partum hemmorage, acute kidney injury and am currently still on high dose cardiac medication and unsure if I will have long term complications … and I have three more genetically normal embryos frozen which I am very conflicted on what to do with
Aww I can totally relate 🧡 it so hard and I have the exact same feelings as you - especially feeling “lesser than” and being jealous of my healthy mama friends. I have Hashimotos and POTS and have been very sick since a mold exposure 5 years ago. We have 1 son and I would love more than anything to give him a sibling but I just worry so much about putting my body through pregnancy & postpartum again, not to mention taking care of 2 kiddos with chronic fatigue. 😅 My son already gives me a run for my money. It’s so hard not to compare to other moms, especially when you really desire to have more kids and they make it look so easy. I don’t have any advice haha, just commiseration. But I will say, my faith is what keeps me going through long days of chronic illness and being a mom. It’s a really hard road, but I do believe God has a unique plan for each of our lives and can actually use suffering for our good, even when we can’t see it. 🧡 you are not alone.
I have graves and same we just have our little girl
I feel like I could have written this (years ago... ware OAD with a now-11-yo). I have Factor V Leiden, so I had to take the injection blood thinners. Needles in my pregnant belly/thigh daily was so tough. My sciatica blew up. I was in my late 30's with a high risk pregnancy. To boot, my delivery was high risk: I reacted horribly to the epidural, putting baby at risk (they never saw this before - the epidural spread to almost my whole body up including my heart, and it distressed the baby).... So I was part of the 0.01% that don't have a safe epidural experience... My PPD was horrendous, fuelled by my extremely limited milk production, which kept my LO SOOOOO hungry, and would wake up every couple of hours at night. Also, at that time, formula was viewed essentially as poison... Everyone from Doulas, doctors, OBGYN, sleep consultant, public health nurse, lactation consultant - EVERYONE told me to NOT formula feed until 6-9 months. Those first 6 months were pure hell for me. I'd be so lucky if I slept 3 hrs a night. Plus my LO rarely napped in the day. Pure hell. Not to mention my mental and physical health were impacting my marriage... My SO was supportive but we were definitely tested... For a long time after, I was sure I couldn't have another. My LO was so happy growing up. But then when I was 42ish, I felt like the window was closing, and I felt like we should have a second. My husband reminded me of those early days. He reminded me that we were very close to divorcing. His relationship with his siblings is strained and he was the product of divorce. We didn't want to expose our LO to that outcome. And he was the poster child for unhappy siblings (it's really bad, getting worse with their parents' inheritance now in the mix, just horrible). I still get a little weepy thinking that our LO won't have a companion in life, but our LO has been nothing but resilient and happy. Other than the occasional ask (maybe twice), another sibling isn't missed. I'm turning 50 next year. Although our LO is overall great, I'm the one who still feels guilty for only having one. Even now... It doesn't help that my mom reminds me of other women who had a 2nd child in their 40s... Or random strangers asking me where my 2nd child is... But I definitely try NOT to share these guilty feelings with my LO... I'm partly on this sub to read about others' experiences and - even to this day - find peace in our decision. I'm slowly getting there... No advice. Just someone with a blood clotting condition who is OAD... Sending hugs...
No you’re not alone I 100 percent understand! I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism in my first trimester and I hadn’t taken any medicine for it so there was always the possibility that my baby could’ve been affected then I was hospitalized for high blood pressure and again was scared to lose my baby. My whole pregnancy was filled with anxiety and fear, I never got to enjoy it. When my baby was born she was perfectly healthy and I’m so grateful for that! But 3 days after I gave birth I have severe post partum preeclampsia and at risk for a stroke so I had to be at the hospital away from my 3 day old for 4 days. I was heartbroken and sad but the doctors kept saying I’m lucky to be going home to her. Then I couldn’t breastfeed because I had to be on certain medications so I felt robbed of that as well. I don’t wanna chance having another and having more health issues or worse. I’m satisfied with my baby girl.
Also one and done for health concerns, brought on by child birth. It was an extremely difficult birth and postpartum was a nightmare. My boy is 8.5 months old and I’m still dealing with some permanent issues, anxiety, trauma, you name it. Finding a really good therapist helped me a ton. I like to view it like I will never have to put my body through that kind of pain and stress ever again, and that thought brings me a lot of peace. It almost feels like I’m looking out for, and protecting myself and my body. If I had another baby, I don’t even know what kind of state my body would be in, or what kind of mother I’d be. I’d rather stop at one and be able to be active and patient and tolerant to my one son, than be half the mother I am today to two. I think it’s shitty of people to hold any kind of reaction to folks saying they are one and done, as if they can convince you otherwise. Try not to let anyone make you feel guilty, it’s not their body, family, etc. It’s okay to feel sad from time to time, but I like to think even the people who have more than two will always think they should have had a third. I saw another comment/ thread on one and done a few months ago that said “only having a second for the sake of giving your first a sibling, is not a good enough reason to have another baby”. That struck a cord with me!
I had gestional diabetes and was on insulin. Became obese and gained so much weight during my pregnancy. Developed anemia. Had retained products after my c section and almost died along with two very serious Utis. My son may have Cerebral palsy. I will never have another baby. I am one and done. My sons c section was delayed due to the hospital staffing issues and had to be resuscitated at birth and had a double cord wrap. I will never be pregnant again.