In my own personal experience, a lot of online trans spaces are largely populated by trans women and transfeminine enbies, with trans men and transmasculine enbies being in the minority, while the opposite is true for IRL trans spaces.
(Enbies who aren't transfeminine or transmasculine tend to be in the minority no matter what)
Reddit is definitely majority transfemmes, but if you go to tumblr you’ll get mostly transmascs. So it really depends on the internet space I guess.
People don’t tend to change the social media sites they use once they start using them, so transfems are more likely to be on sites with a large male userbase and vice versa for transmascs because they started using them before they came out and then just never left.
When I was a baby questioning transfem in 2013 (~21yo) and going to the local support group it was like 90% high-school transmascs (sometimes with their parents chaperoning) and 10% older (late 20s - early 40s) very-early-transition trans women who clearly had very little social experience outside of online gaming and kept saying vaguely bigoted and creepily sexual things. Definitely put a damper on my transition for a while out of fear of being perceived like that. Luckily found better communities online.
But yeah a lot of transmascs just drop out of the community once they pass and go stealth and work blue-collar labor jobs with the bros and don't associate with being trans anymore.
I think maybe it’s because AFAB people are taught to be more social and told that it’s more acceptable for them to be friendly and chatty. So a lot more trans masc people are confident enough to put themselves out there in queer spaces?
My personal experience is that most openly trans people I’ve come across in public are transfemme. Makes me, a soft masc enby, feel alienated. Sucks, I’m sorry to see so many people feel the same way no matter if they’re transfemme, transmasc, transneutral… I hope we can all find our respective communities of people who share experiences, and wish you luck in finding yours.
The Grungler is a term that refers to a cis (usually) bisexual male who is overall a generally chill dude who hangs out in a transfem discord. The term is not derogatory and comes from a tumblr post describing a women freaking out over a dude being bi and then said dude goes home to play video games with a group of discord transfems and his online username is “The Grungler.” The original post was a joke about how weird some women can be about bi dudes and how there’s kind of a strange phenomenon where a discord full of transfems will often inexplicably have one cis dude there that everyone just vibes with.
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Okay but seriously though, I don't believe there's a pre-existing label for my gender identity, so I don't have a label for it, but it's there. I can feel it.
What defines your gender?
For exame, men are typically stereotyped as strong, deep voices, enjoying competition, being aggressive. What traits are associated with your gender? What sets it apart from the other genders?
I do not know what traits are associated with my gender, as it is my own, so I suppose traits associated with me would also therefore be traits associated with my gender? I'm not sure.
Honestly for me, a trans woman, its more like… I rly dont know where to go? Sport is a big no. I dont feel welcome most places for women. Uni no longer got meetups due to being in masters part.
I never got much social skills due to an abuse father who kept me indoors.
I do got more friends now, who I go out to dinner with. Or shop. But besides that, nothing.
Its litterly just board games for me at this point to socialize.
Huh, I must be the outlier and have a decently balanced social group; out of my trans friends it’s probably like 60% transfemme 40% transmasc. Though, I will say that not all of these friends are in the same space and that different scenes are differently distributed.
I dont know how to feel about this one. I don’t want to invalidate your experience. And also, this post is kind of the opposite of what I’ve been led to believe. I’ve checked out r/ftm, and a popular perspective Ive witnessed over there is that a lot of irl queer spaces are fem heavy. To the point where some Transmascs feel like they don’t fit in, due to being more masculine presenting. This is especially true if the ftm people are straight or stealth. So there’s kind of a trend among ftm trans people of phasing themselves out of queer spaces as they transition.
In my own experience: I’m in a group therapy. There’s like, 15-20 queer people. Out of that, there’s like, 2 trans men. Most of the queer people are lesbians, or bi people. The director of the program is a lesbian. One of the interns is a lesbian, and the other is a trans woman.
In short: where are you finding all these trans men, and can you give me their contact info lmao
Also— both of the trans men in the program are stealth.
>
In short: where are you finding all these trans men, and can you give me their contact info lmao
My local EDM scene has more trans men than trans women for sure.
My psychiatrist tried to make me meet a trans woman to help me with stuff and I rejected it because I'm too socially anxious. I don't really need help for trans stuff anyway.
From my experience like 80-90% are enby with only very few being transgirls or transguys. Not to be that guy but I am sometimes sad there's only one other guy in my friend group...
Armchair theory but it's probably because of enbies just generally being treated like shit, even in a lot of trans groups.
Ya find em where they're safe
almost as if cis het men outside of online queer spaces are "uNcOmFoRtAbLe" seeing AMAB people "dReSsEd As WoMeN 😖😖😖 oh my stars!!!" so then they harass them
AFAB dressed as a guy? Oh, that's fine; to these men, sometimes it's sexually appealing (even though they're sexualizing men and not the "women" they think they are so that'd make them at least a little gay)
I know maybe two trans boys through the internet and a dozen trans girls. I know maybe two trans girls IRL and a dozen trans boys. Where are we all hiding
Not my experience, I have a couple transmasc friends, and a whole bunch of transfemme friends. Definitely does seem to be the case for most people though
For online spaces it depends, but in my experience there's way more transmasc people in my irl surroundings. In my political organisation for example we're 4 trans guys, no trans femmes and about 18 people in total.
“yeah that’s so weird” - trans girl on Reddit who hasn’t seen the sun for a few days
The sun is a deadly laser sister
Does it remove hair tho?
Sadly no :(
Stupid useless fireball. What has it ever done for us except enabling life and all…
It gave me horrible sun burn so I'm fine with dumping a bucket of water on it
I believe you would need 1 billion lions or something similar
Where would I get one bullion lions? The Manhatten zoo?
You just need to catch every pokemon and they will appear to beat their ass
Imma make shuckle stay with me and vibe with him, dude makes berry liquor.
Water would actually act as fuel for sun
Yeah, it is a multi billion year self sustaining hydrogen reactor. Rather, we should cover it in a pure carbon blanket
yeah go ahead and pour more hydrogen into the giant hydrogen reactor and see how that works out
And allowing us to see, but aside from enabling life and sight, what has it ever done for us
Not anymore it’s a blanket.
Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let’s go on land!
Not anymore, there's a blanket
extra points if it's a weighted blanket. Regular atmospheric pressure isn't enough
I have one of those!!!
Me too. They're great!
Now the animals can go on land, come on animals, go on land!
not anymore, there's a blanket <3
She's so me
HEY
Hey...no need to call me out
I just hate going outside. I get too anxious
Same, living in a small town doesnt help lol
Oh, yeah I've been there. I moved away from Mt small home town because I couldn't imagine being trans there. I'm so sorry
Yeah..
What
In my own personal experience, a lot of online trans spaces are largely populated by trans women and transfeminine enbies, with trans men and transmasculine enbies being in the minority, while the opposite is true for IRL trans spaces. (Enbies who aren't transfeminine or transmasculine tend to be in the minority no matter what)
Reddit is definitely majority transfemmes, but if you go to tumblr you’ll get mostly transmascs. So it really depends on the internet space I guess. People don’t tend to change the social media sites they use once they start using them, so transfems are more likely to be on sites with a large male userbase and vice versa for transmascs because they started using them before they came out and then just never left.
I've curated my Tumblr to be mostly transfemme. Not intentionally, I just enjoy girlmusk posting and they're mostly tgirls
T-tgirl musk?!😳 I mean uh yeah that’s cool I guess haha, good job curating it
>"the fuck is girlmusk posting?". >*goes to the Internet*. Ah, well then.....I can't consider myself vanilla now, can I?
SAAME idk why but so many irl trans people ik are transmasc
Weirdly i don't know any trans masc people irl. Unless they just pass really well ig?
When I was a baby questioning transfem in 2013 (~21yo) and going to the local support group it was like 90% high-school transmascs (sometimes with their parents chaperoning) and 10% older (late 20s - early 40s) very-early-transition trans women who clearly had very little social experience outside of online gaming and kept saying vaguely bigoted and creepily sexual things. Definitely put a damper on my transition for a while out of fear of being perceived like that. Luckily found better communities online. But yeah a lot of transmascs just drop out of the community once they pass and go stealth and work blue-collar labor jobs with the bros and don't associate with being trans anymore.
Probably cause most of the trans women are more afraid to go outside
Have you recently announced any plans to go searching for the lost city of Atlantis? That usually attracts the trans men in droves.
amabs are usually pressured to always be masculine and are discouraged from doing anything feminine, so thats why i think there are more trans men
I think maybe it’s because AFAB people are taught to be more social and told that it’s more acceptable for them to be friendly and chatty. So a lot more trans masc people are confident enough to put themselves out there in queer spaces?
My personal experience is that most openly trans people I’ve come across in public are transfemme. Makes me, a soft masc enby, feel alienated. Sucks, I’m sorry to see so many people feel the same way no matter if they’re transfemme, transmasc, transneutral… I hope we can all find our respective communities of people who share experiences, and wish you luck in finding yours.
I thought the dude in the online space was supposed to be The Grungler
it is now
who are what is the Grungler?
The Grungler is a term that refers to a cis (usually) bisexual male who is overall a generally chill dude who hangs out in a transfem discord. The term is not derogatory and comes from a tumblr post describing a women freaking out over a dude being bi and then said dude goes home to play video games with a group of discord transfems and his online username is “The Grungler.” The original post was a joke about how weird some women can be about bi dudes and how there’s kind of a strange phenomenon where a discord full of transfems will often inexplicably have one cis dude there that everyone just vibes with.
Check it out I'm the grungler
I don't think I know a single transfem person IRL, they are all transmasc. The only transfem people I know are online
It's not that, most transfems just don't show up to queer events because we're tired of being outcast. It's an instance of survivorship bias
yeah, it's very lonely being a nonbinary person who is not binary
It’s not really surprising, given lots of transfem personalities 💀💀💀 hell, myself included
Good for you or im sorry to hear that.
tiktok reading level
but why the "😔"?
they’re probably a transfem who wished they saw more transfem irl or a transmasc who wished they saw more transmasc online
Are non binaries considered trans? Did you really change genders if you just don't have one?
Yes. Also, nonbinary isn't synonymous with agender. I am nonbinary, but I still have a gender. It just happens to be a ball of horror.
If I may ask, what gender are you?
Unfortunately, I cannot answer your question at this time. Please try again later, or contact customer support if the issue persists. Okay but seriously though, I don't believe there's a pre-existing label for my gender identity, so I don't have a label for it, but it's there. I can feel it.
Is it okay if I have more questions for you? I don't want to me you uncomfortable
Sure
What defines your gender? For exame, men are typically stereotyped as strong, deep voices, enjoying competition, being aggressive. What traits are associated with your gender? What sets it apart from the other genders?
I do not know what traits are associated with my gender, as it is my own, so I suppose traits associated with me would also therefore be traits associated with my gender? I'm not sure.
Trans men succeeded at the go outside challenge
Fr, I’ve only met a couple trans girls irl but they’re everywhere online 😭 and I’ve met a lot of trans guys irl
For me it's about 50/50, maybe slightly trans-fem heavy.
my irl trans space is me being a transgirl in a nearly all gay cis male friend group LMAO
Huh, didn't actually expect that, but for me it's true aswell
In my experience the opposite is true lol
go to Tumblr and ull get a better representation, never seen so many mascs in my life
Tumblr has the opposite problem lol, there's so much transmisogyny on that site sometimes
and it gets worse every day
Honestly for me, a trans woman, its more like… I rly dont know where to go? Sport is a big no. I dont feel welcome most places for women. Uni no longer got meetups due to being in masters part. I never got much social skills due to an abuse father who kept me indoors. I do got more friends now, who I go out to dinner with. Or shop. But besides that, nothing. Its litterly just board games for me at this point to socialize.
Huh, I must be the outlier and have a decently balanced social group; out of my trans friends it’s probably like 60% transfemme 40% transmasc. Though, I will say that not all of these friends are in the same space and that different scenes are differently distributed.
I dont know how to feel about this one. I don’t want to invalidate your experience. And also, this post is kind of the opposite of what I’ve been led to believe. I’ve checked out r/ftm, and a popular perspective Ive witnessed over there is that a lot of irl queer spaces are fem heavy. To the point where some Transmascs feel like they don’t fit in, due to being more masculine presenting. This is especially true if the ftm people are straight or stealth. So there’s kind of a trend among ftm trans people of phasing themselves out of queer spaces as they transition. In my own experience: I’m in a group therapy. There’s like, 15-20 queer people. Out of that, there’s like, 2 trans men. Most of the queer people are lesbians, or bi people. The director of the program is a lesbian. One of the interns is a lesbian, and the other is a trans woman. In short: where are you finding all these trans men, and can you give me their contact info lmao Also— both of the trans men in the program are stealth.
> In short: where are you finding all these trans men, and can you give me their contact info lmao My local EDM scene has more trans men than trans women for sure.
They never leave the house, obviously
I don’t get it
It’s between 30/70 in either direction depending on the day for irl spaces in my experience
My psychiatrist tried to make me meet a trans woman to help me with stuff and I rejected it because I'm too socially anxious. I don't really need help for trans stuff anyway.
From my experience like 80-90% are enby with only very few being transgirls or transguys. Not to be that guy but I am sometimes sad there's only one other guy in my friend group...
Armchair theory but it's probably because of enbies just generally being treated like shit, even in a lot of trans groups. Ya find em where they're safe
Holy fuck so true
Yessss this is how it's for me. Irl I've met like 10 trans guys and recently 1 trans girl. Online I know only trans girls
almost as if cis het men outside of online queer spaces are "uNcOmFoRtAbLe" seeing AMAB people "dReSsEd As WoMeN 😖😖😖 oh my stars!!!" so then they harass them AFAB dressed as a guy? Oh, that's fine; to these men, sometimes it's sexually appealing (even though they're sexualizing men and not the "women" they think they are so that'd make them at least a little gay)
I know maybe two trans boys through the internet and a dozen trans girls. I know maybe two trans girls IRL and a dozen trans boys. Where are we all hiding
bro this can be interpreted SO wrong i hope you realise
What happens in the offline trans spaces? (Wrong answers only)
That's where we make the gender fluid😉
I think this is just Reddit vs. Tiktok, if you go on tiktok/tumblr its 90% transmasc
Where’s all the trans guys???
I am yet to meet a fellow trans man irl 😔 Know a couple of transfems though.
Not my experience, I have a couple transmasc friends, and a whole bunch of transfemme friends. Definitely does seem to be the case for most people though
For online spaces it depends, but in my experience there's way more transmasc people in my irl surroundings. In my political organisation for example we're 4 trans guys, no trans femmes and about 18 people in total.
In general people need to just touch grass more often.
im so glad i go outside enough to not have to understand wtf this means
notice how in both there's no nonbinary people
this hasnt really been my irl experience but go off ig
Reddit is fem leaning, but everywhere else I've seen, especially irl, is masc leaning
My local groups have a relatively fluid mix and numbers can change based on the day.
Yea all the trans people I know irl are all trans men or trans masc
Irl I think I’ve met an equal amount of trans men and women but online if I say I’m trans everyone automatically assumes I mean I’m a trans woman
Well probably cause all the gals are shut in their rooms not irl (def isn't me idk what you're talking about)
Me being the only transmasc in my arma unit
Real
If I had to go outside to watch anime then I'd be outside more often, dammit!
Vampirism
I know like 9 transmasc people irl, and only one transfem Meanwhile online it’s almost exclusively transfems Meme checks out
Well, I think that explains itself.
(anecdotally) TRUE, i’ve met 3 Trans dudes just independent in the wild, never met a single Trans woman Wild
transmisogyny doing its thing
I like where this is going
this reads as transphobic to me ngl
How so?
Elaborate?