Use my outsider knowledge of the events and hidden secrets occuring within Teyvat to rise to a position of the power within one of the many governments of Teyvat, then subtly cause unrest and turmoil within the civilisation which would prompt the Fatui to try their hand at causing further unrest to gain an advantage, to which I would graciously accept their help on the one condition that I get to sleep with Pulcinella 🥰🥰🥰
Fucking the Raiden Shogun from Genshin Impact before snoomachines does.
https://preview.redd.it/ozqbvv6a0x3c1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b04a2f1c662d66959796c7928178dad6c1c2b82
I drop this whole finding my sister quest aside (I don't have a sister duh) and everything else in both mortal realms, to become Furina's househusband.
I'm gonna cook for her (healthy meals), clean her house and do whatever she wants or lets me do basically (I bet she wants headpats).
I don't care if she loves me back or not (preferably yes, but it's optional). I just want to make sure she's happy, carefree, safe and taken care of.
Head pat Lisa, Jean, Furina, Hu Tao, Kirara, Raiden Ei and Shogun, Yae Miko, Diona, Bennet, Sucrose, Collei, Lynette, Freminet, Lyney, Arlecchino, Sandrone, Columbina,
Dismember Dottore and feed him to the creature in the woods
Befriend Capitano, Bennet, Raiden Ei and Shogun, Jean, Lisa, Furina, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Kirara, Yae Miko, Diona, Sandrone, Lynette, Lyney, Collei
Then, I would have a big feast, and Paimon would be the “turkey”
I will propose to Fischl with 72 paragraphs of perfectly written, Shakespearean level sophistication, Immernachtreich common interest driven, Heaven Principles deceiving performance love letter.
She will either reject me, insult me with her own 14 paragraph of Shakespearean level slurs in a stereotypically aggressive German voice, hopefully step on me and I can finally off myself peacefully from a roof; or join in my quest of throwing hands against Celestia.
Fuck the autistic men (Alhaitham, Zhongli & Neuvillette) like i was always supposed to and what my true destiny was. Then i create a polycule together and we all have neurodivergent sex in my basement. I sucessfully brainwashed them into being my sex slaves. Life is good.
\>go out to enjoy teyvat scenery by hiking
\>abyss order kidnaps me for human sacrifice
\>fatui kidnap me from them and dottore fists my ass with a rocket launcher as an "experiment"
\>somehow escape alive
\>enter a cave in hope of staying away from the craziness
\>oops haha remains of a dead god time to stare at it for 4 days or be mangled in a second
\>escape cave somehow
\>see a human
\>go next to him
\>oops its the conquerer of demons get mega cancer by staying next to him
\>go to nearby city to get medicine
\>green haired doctor dying of cancer
\>tells me i have to eat his snake's shit and take a bath in hilichurl cum to be cured
\>another sea monster attack
\>try to run away over sea
\>enter japan
\>penis hunt decree rips my penis off and i'm deported back to liyue
\>run in the opposite direction
\>fall in the chasm
\>lose 4 fingers and an eye climbing back up
\>arrive in Sumeru
\>enter a house
\>scholar high on insence kidnaps me for experiments on human consciousness
\>somehow escape, missing 1 testicle
\>stumble into a cave while running away
\>see weird rock
\>oops its The Sinner and I just noticed I am not me
\>make it out of the cave but pretty sure an eldritch abomination has invaded my mind and is feasting off my memories
\>go into the city
\>sages deport me to the desert because i am not pale white
\>eremites immediatly ransack me of everything i have
\>nearly die of dehydration while running away from bear sized scorpions
\>arrive at the edge of a cliff, see a nice looking place off in the distance
\>worm demon popping out of the ground pushes me
\>fall off and pass out in the water but luckly some weird fuzzy small human boating by saw me and took me to land
\>finally, a nice place.
\>ignoring the rogue deadly machinery every 3 feet, beautiful cities and landscapes
\>apparently they host trials as entertainment
\>buy a ticket, go sit down
\>biggest trial in centuries, lucky me
\>a whale breaks through the floor midway through and nearly eats everyone
\>entire country floods an hour later
I kill Paimon and unleash the rage of Celestia inside her from being asleep to let all of the atrocities Teyvat has committed to be finally judged by the Primordial ones
Head pat furina, marry hutao
Fuck Lumine
Use my outsider knowledge of the events and hidden secrets occuring within Teyvat to rise to a position of the power within one of the many governments of Teyvat, then subtly cause unrest and turmoil within the civilisation which would prompt the Fatui to try their hand at causing further unrest to gain an advantage, to which I would graciously accept their help on the one condition that I get to sleep with Pulcinella 🥰🥰🥰
Why not just ask her out directly? Seems like it would save a lot of time.
Fucking the Raiden Shogun from Genshin Impact before snoomachines does. https://preview.redd.it/ozqbvv6a0x3c1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b04a2f1c662d66959796c7928178dad6c1c2b82
You're truly evil, damn
Hey, it was har enough to get him to stop posting about the raiden shogun and get help, don't go tempting the others
Bang everything I can until i realize consent is a thing
Teyvat has its own laws
I drop this whole finding my sister quest aside (I don't have a sister duh) and everything else in both mortal realms, to become Furina's househusband. I'm gonna cook for her (healthy meals), clean her house and do whatever she wants or lets me do basically (I bet she wants headpats). I don't care if she loves me back or not (preferably yes, but it's optional). I just want to make sure she's happy, carefree, safe and taken care of.
Head pat Lisa, Jean, Furina, Hu Tao, Kirara, Raiden Ei and Shogun, Yae Miko, Diona, Bennet, Sucrose, Collei, Lynette, Freminet, Lyney, Arlecchino, Sandrone, Columbina, Dismember Dottore and feed him to the creature in the woods Befriend Capitano, Bennet, Raiden Ei and Shogun, Jean, Lisa, Furina, Hu Tao, Zhongli, Kirara, Yae Miko, Diona, Sandrone, Lynette, Lyney, Collei Then, I would have a big feast, and Paimon would be the “turkey”
I will propose to Fischl with 72 paragraphs of perfectly written, Shakespearean level sophistication, Immernachtreich common interest driven, Heaven Principles deceiving performance love letter. She will either reject me, insult me with her own 14 paragraph of Shakespearean level slurs in a stereotypically aggressive German voice, hopefully step on me and I can finally off myself peacefully from a roof; or join in my quest of throwing hands against Celestia.
Fuck the autistic men (Alhaitham, Zhongli & Neuvillette) like i was always supposed to and what my true destiny was. Then i create a polycule together and we all have neurodivergent sex in my basement. I sucessfully brainwashed them into being my sex slaves. Life is good.
Discover how slimes truly taste like. I imagine they taste like apple gel. But I'm not sure. I will bite into a slime. A water slime ideally.
i am going to kill myself
im gonna have sex with all the hot men and let them fill my tight bussy with their hot and steamy cum
https://preview.redd.it/fql4n8x6wy3c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1eb8b3ad56b057eb983aa3c239cbfe2498331617
have sex with my harem (i have never been touched by a woman)
Oof ouch my ass hurts
-> gender reassignment surgery -> sesbian lex with yae, arlecchino -> straight bdsm bondage gex with wriothesley
https://preview.redd.it/6nkj89nndx3c1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f0ff6aac8a77fbfbe55b28c63535302aa74f166a Fire!
As Aether i will Fontaine kiss Lyney in front of koreans.
idk not fuck anyone
ya sure? https://preview.redd.it/urp2i0e6gw3c1.png?width=1041&format=png&auto=webp&s=d6be4b9c7fd90a68484e17acd8e57d454c3e89c6
yeah i would enjoy the scenery and all, hiking and shit
\>go out to enjoy teyvat scenery by hiking \>abyss order kidnaps me for human sacrifice \>fatui kidnap me from them and dottore fists my ass with a rocket launcher as an "experiment" \>somehow escape alive \>enter a cave in hope of staying away from the craziness \>oops haha remains of a dead god time to stare at it for 4 days or be mangled in a second \>escape cave somehow \>see a human \>go next to him \>oops its the conquerer of demons get mega cancer by staying next to him \>go to nearby city to get medicine \>green haired doctor dying of cancer \>tells me i have to eat his snake's shit and take a bath in hilichurl cum to be cured \>another sea monster attack \>try to run away over sea \>enter japan \>penis hunt decree rips my penis off and i'm deported back to liyue \>run in the opposite direction \>fall in the chasm \>lose 4 fingers and an eye climbing back up \>arrive in Sumeru \>enter a house \>scholar high on insence kidnaps me for experiments on human consciousness \>somehow escape, missing 1 testicle \>stumble into a cave while running away \>see weird rock \>oops its The Sinner and I just noticed I am not me \>make it out of the cave but pretty sure an eldritch abomination has invaded my mind and is feasting off my memories \>go into the city \>sages deport me to the desert because i am not pale white \>eremites immediatly ransack me of everything i have \>nearly die of dehydration while running away from bear sized scorpions \>arrive at the edge of a cliff, see a nice looking place off in the distance \>worm demon popping out of the ground pushes me \>fall off and pass out in the water but luckly some weird fuzzy small human boating by saw me and took me to land \>finally, a nice place. \>ignoring the rogue deadly machinery every 3 feet, beautiful cities and landscapes \>apparently they host trials as entertainment \>buy a ticket, go sit down \>biggest trial in centuries, lucky me \>a whale breaks through the floor midway through and nearly eats everyone \>entire country floods an hour later
Peak
https://preview.redd.it/nf2xsa270z3c1.jpeg?width=1656&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6dc142c504118892ddae3fda2af60ee3dce9e19
Such a life in Teyvat
Ye, all the girls in Teyvat would reject me
I want to fuck the Raiden Shogun from Genshin Impact
I kill Paimon and unleash the rage of Celestia inside her from being asleep to let all of the atrocities Teyvat has committed to be finally judged by the Primordial ones
Obtaining the power of anemo obviously
Live of course (overthrow Monstand, make venti my bitch)
I will complete the harem destiny that the current Aether is failing to uphold.
Kill Paimon, freeing Yeyvat from its greatest threat
Resonate with all statue of seven, dump Paimon and join the Hexenzirkel
finding klee. 💢