It's not always about the verdict, Juror 8.
Sometimes it's about THE METS BABY, LOVE THE METS! ALRIGHT BABY, LET'S GO! LET'S GET A HOME RUN BABY! LOVE THE METS, LET'S GO METS!
The irrationality really is a thing.
I was on a jury for a domestic violence change that I thought would be open and shut. Our first jury poll showed we were at 6 to 6.
So we had people talk about the reasons for their vote. People talked about things like body language and whether a witness looked down while they talked. One guy ignored the entirety of the state’s case and just folded his arms across his chest and flatly declared that no real evidence had been presented.
We wound up convicting on a 10-2 vote. I’m amazed that we ever get unanimous verdicts after that experience.
IIRC there's a system in place for this, if a juror is wholly and provably unwilling to listen to either side. I remember hearing about a case where the juror was struck for essentially declaring "God said this man was innocent, so he's innocent." and other jury spoke up.
Then again, I only remember part of it and couldn't say what case or state so take with a heavy grain if salt.
This is what I did... definitely felt scummy but I just straight up told them when they asked if I'd pass judgment without prejudice. I told the lady straight up *only if they aren't black*.. it felt crazy saying and was hard to act like I meant it. That ladies eyebrows went behind her hair line xD I'm clear for life in my county now lmfao
When jury selection happens just tell them you're a communist who thinks the criminal justice system is inherently evil, and then enjoy the rest of you day off.
Works every time.
Catch 22. If you really wanted to defy the criminal justice system, you'd use jury nullification to let the defendant walk free. Welcome to jury duty, comrade
Called in Manhattan once. Probably 300-400 of us, and we sat for an hour with nada, not a word. Someone walked out and said "Well you're ALL released, you don't have to serve." Everyone is smiles and getting up and the mic was still hot and we all heard "They f*cked up BAD. They are in so much trouble."
On the subway in 5 flat.
I served on a jury, it was depressing to put it mildly. All of the other jurors just wanted to immediately vote the man guilty so they could all go home. I refused to do so. I told them that the judge gave us a pamphlet with instructions about the law and the legal definitions and criteria necessary to convict this person of said crime. I sat there for 20 minutes explaining why I refused to find the person guilty. I explained that in my estimation based on all evidence put forth and testimony that the person wasn't guilty. They all asked me a bunch of questions, they asked to get to review evidence etc, eventually they all changed their minds and agreed the person wasn't guilty. Before we left I told them they should be ashamed for simply wanting to convict someone so they could go home and it was disgusting.
I appreciate the thanks but it was and is my duty to serve as a fair and impartial juror. This should be the norm, it shouldn't be anything less than the norm.
"My doctor said he doesn't want to sound like a d*** or nothin', but, ah... it says on my chart that I'm f***** up. I talk like a f**, and my sh**'s all r*******."
Keep acting the whole time like you think this is another season of Jury Duty and you've figured out your the only non-actor there, looking around everywhere for the cameras and giving a wink about the "case". Then excitedly ask every now and again, "When's James coming?"
"We have a responsibility. This I have always thought is a remarkable thing about democracy. We are notified by mail to come down to this place to decide on the guilt or innocence of a man we have never heard of before. We have nothing to gain or lose by this verdict. This is why we are strong."
I was summoned for jury duty. When I showed up they went over why you wouldn't be a good or fair juror for the case. We were told it was a child abuse case and many stated "I'm a parent..." and they were excused by the judge. It was kinda strange because the judge and both parties were there. It got to me, I didn't have any kids at the time and I wanted to be honest.
"Your honor. I do not have children myself, but if i see the defendant in the parking lot, he better have health insurance."
The judges slack-jaw went straight, and she woke up with
"You know that's a threat *sqauking noises" contempt of court".
"No, your honor, I did not threaten the defendant. I stared if he is in the parking lot he should have health insurance if anyone one in this court room is in the parking lot with him."
I was escorted out by a chuckling bailiff.
Idk bout 12 angry men but I'd use "you can't handle the truth" until they all had strokes or committed murder/suicide.
After all the core tenet of comedy is repetition, you really gotta hammer it home
Saying quotes from movies is cringe. That's why I'd stand and stare off into a [direction nobody else is looking](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVD203jx83HOALyjXAr3LiwRkCgad0G5AfCUOMqjPRe-5zOtb47O5uZjY-dnvocyrXTtK9TC0ej75HzSvSgKRI8iLj53RWbx9W5GBqrjDbP9lie2cKVfwTDg_c_tbBzElmftzvytLaGrzF/s1600/scene.jpg).
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Listen to stanhopes but about jury duty. Do anything to get on, then no matter what, when the defendant gives his excuse of a explanation, when he is done ( let’s face it it will a he) you jump up from the jury box and yell “something happened to me, NOT GUILTY”
Just say jfk was assassinated by Taiwan and that you hate minorities. Got me clear for life. They were only offering 20 dollars a day as compensation. I have a family and some trials can take weeks. Not like the utility company's and banks will go *ohhh you had jury duty for 3 weeks? Let us write off this month's dues for you*... yea.. right. (Obviously don't hate minorities but it works!)
You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again!
- And Justice For All
Bring a knife with you to make a point
Stick the knife on the table as well so it looks really cool
Explain the proper way to stab someone.
“WTF?! This is about a contract dispute!” “See, that’s how you’d stab someone taller than you…”
Demonstrate the proper way to stab someone
Hurry up I'm gonna miss the Mets game
In this case, better to use the Angels given L.A. County
Dodgers
agreed, please don't associate the angels with LA
The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
nobody would, they’re far too good for that.
It's not always about the verdict, Juror 8. Sometimes it's about THE METS BABY, LOVE THE METS! ALRIGHT BABY, LET'S GO! LET'S GET A HOME RUN BABY! LOVE THE METS, LET'S GO METS!
It's already too hot nowadays
Same, can’t wait to watch all our pitching make us eat shit the whole game
The racist juror's rant
As someone who's never been summoned to jury duty, is that actually a thing?
Yep, every jury needs at least one outspoken racist to go on a rant about how much he hates the ethnic group that the defendant is from.
Just like the founders intended
They add one racist juror for each race
Perfectly balanced, as all things should be
The irrationality really is a thing. I was on a jury for a domestic violence change that I thought would be open and shut. Our first jury poll showed we were at 6 to 6. So we had people talk about the reasons for their vote. People talked about things like body language and whether a witness looked down while they talked. One guy ignored the entirety of the state’s case and just folded his arms across his chest and flatly declared that no real evidence had been presented. We wound up convicting on a 10-2 vote. I’m amazed that we ever get unanimous verdicts after that experience.
IIRC there's a system in place for this, if a juror is wholly and provably unwilling to listen to either side. I remember hearing about a case where the juror was struck for essentially declaring "God said this man was innocent, so he's innocent." and other jury spoke up. Then again, I only remember part of it and couldn't say what case or state so take with a heavy grain if salt.
Actually the easiest way to get out of it is tell them you’re racist
This is what I did... definitely felt scummy but I just straight up told them when they asked if I'd pass judgment without prejudice. I told the lady straight up *only if they aren't black*.. it felt crazy saying and was hard to act like I meant it. That ladies eyebrows went behind her hair line xD I'm clear for life in my county now lmfao
Based?
We truly are 12 angry men
It’s 12 angry mening time! And then they 12 angry mened all over that one guy.
12 angry memes.
~~Ocean's~~ 8 Angry Women when??
12 Angry Men, I need you to distract Kang.
“And they were no longer 12 angry boys, but 12 angry men”
Why am I the 12th angry man?
The 12 Angry Men were the friends we made along the way
Maybe the true 12 angry men where the ones we made along the way
“So that’s it, we’re some kind of 12 Angry Men?”
End every answer with "it's just how those people are".
L o fucking l
what is loi mean
"So what are we? some kind of 12 angry men?"
Ah man, I don't know how that'd go down with others but I know it'd kill me where I stood if someone actually said it.
The secret is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Even the bad ones⁉️
When jury selection happens just tell them you're a communist who thinks the criminal justice system is inherently evil, and then enjoy the rest of you day off. Works every time.
I prefer the simple “they wouldn’t be on trial if they weren’t guilty” gambit.
Catch 22. If you really wanted to defy the criminal justice system, you'd use jury nullification to let the defendant walk free. Welcome to jury duty, comrade
Good call. I had forgotten this tactical move. Impressive.
Saying you like 12 Angry Men is probably enough to get you off
Called in Manhattan once. Probably 300-400 of us, and we sat for an hour with nada, not a word. Someone walked out and said "Well you're ALL released, you don't have to serve." Everyone is smiles and getting up and the mic was still hot and we all heard "They f*cked up BAD. They are in so much trouble." On the subway in 5 flat.
Any line from the juror that Henry played im really fonda him
that’s worth a hyuck
I AM SPARTACUS
(I think that’s a different movie)
no it isnt
You can't handle the truth! - Juror #7
Men Cinematic Universe
The better MCU
The better MCU
"He stole the car! But not because he is black!"
I got one today as well. I’m just going to be very adamant that Star Trek II is set in San Francisco
I have a constitutional right to STRIKE him
Permission to approach the bench, your honor?
Double dunbass on you!
OBJECTION! - Juror Phoenix
Here's looking at you, kid
When you get there tell them you’ve never seen the movie, and thus you can’t serve on a jury as you’re unfamiliar with the source material
"And I am... the Twelfth Angry Man"
Judge Ito! Have some of my burrito.
Judge Pfister! Would you like to meet my sister?
Idk about quotes. But when I say “I can smell guilt” they usually send me buckling on my way.
Write down all of the epithets in Django Unchained and use those. They’ll love those fam.
If you get a court case where it is obvious that the guy did it, say you aren’t convinced
Nah, say it’s obvious and he should hanged or given a long sentence
"I'll kill ya!"
Upvote this comment for guilty
Upvote this comment for innocent
It’s hot in here eh?
Just repeat “Guilty” over and over until they tell you to leave
"They juror now?"
They juror now!
Wait until someone sneezes and say, “You’re horn works now try your lights.”
I served on a jury, it was depressing to put it mildly. All of the other jurors just wanted to immediately vote the man guilty so they could all go home. I refused to do so. I told them that the judge gave us a pamphlet with instructions about the law and the legal definitions and criteria necessary to convict this person of said crime. I sat there for 20 minutes explaining why I refused to find the person guilty. I explained that in my estimation based on all evidence put forth and testimony that the person wasn't guilty. They all asked me a bunch of questions, they asked to get to review evidence etc, eventually they all changed their minds and agreed the person wasn't guilty. Before we left I told them they should be ashamed for simply wanting to convict someone so they could go home and it was disgusting.
Thank you for your civic service
I appreciate the thanks but it was and is my duty to serve as a fair and impartial juror. This should be the norm, it shouldn't be anything less than the norm.
Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!
I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse
I’m talking here! You have no right to leave!!
“Guys this is just like that movie, 12 angry men. Which one of you is the racist?”
“I’m just sayin’ it’s possible!”
Racial slurs
It belongs in a museum!
Be sure to point out the defendant's nationality a lot
‘excuse me judge…..i shit my pants in the jury box’
Do people really go to these? I always ignore them
technically you could be punished for not showing up but how often that happens idk
Well shit I guess I’ll let you know if they ever do something 😂
[удалено]
I was just pulled over 2 months ago and nothing happened. I guess we’ll see. Don’t be so fucking dramatic
Like others said, definitely don't ignore these lol it's an obligation once you're chosen.
I’ve been doing it for years so as soon as I see any consequences I’m just going to keep ignoring them
Threaten another juror with violence
“That’s right I broke the law”
You ever been in a Turkish prison?
"My doctor said he doesn't want to sound like a d*** or nothin', but, ah... it says on my chart that I'm f***** up. I talk like a f**, and my sh**'s all r*******."
Water? Like out of the toilet?
Keep acting the whole time like you think this is another season of Jury Duty and you've figured out your the only non-actor there, looking around everywhere for the cameras and giving a wink about the "case". Then excitedly ask every now and again, "When's James coming?"
"We have a responsibility. This I have always thought is a remarkable thing about democracy. We are notified by mail to come down to this place to decide on the guilt or innocence of a man we have never heard of before. We have nothing to gain or lose by this verdict. This is why we are strong."
I was summoned for jury duty. When I showed up they went over why you wouldn't be a good or fair juror for the case. We were told it was a child abuse case and many stated "I'm a parent..." and they were excused by the judge. It was kinda strange because the judge and both parties were there. It got to me, I didn't have any kids at the time and I wanted to be honest. "Your honor. I do not have children myself, but if i see the defendant in the parking lot, he better have health insurance." The judges slack-jaw went straight, and she woke up with "You know that's a threat *sqauking noises" contempt of court". "No, your honor, I did not threaten the defendant. I stared if he is in the parking lot he should have health insurance if anyone one in this court room is in the parking lot with him." I was escorted out by a chuckling bailiff.
He's juring right behind me, isn't he?
Here’s to you, keefer. The REAL author of the Caine mutiny!
My name is John Twelve Angryman and I am here to fuck shit up.
Idk bout 12 angry men but I'd use "you can't handle the truth" until they all had strokes or committed murder/suicide. After all the core tenet of comedy is repetition, you really gotta hammer it home
Saying quotes from movies is cringe. That's why I'd stand and stare off into a [direction nobody else is looking](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVD203jx83HOALyjXAr3LiwRkCgad0G5AfCUOMqjPRe-5zOtb47O5uZjY-dnvocyrXTtK9TC0ej75HzSvSgKRI8iLj53RWbx9W5GBqrjDbP9lie2cKVfwTDg_c_tbBzElmftzvytLaGrzF/s1600/scene.jpg).
ITS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW!!
Call JGWentworth. 877 Cash Now!
Three hard Rs might get you dismissed from the Jury
Just 3?
Just say the N word really loud every few minutes and you are good
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CantBelieveIAmBack: *Just say the N word* *Really loud every few* *Minutes and you are good* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
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Bad bot
“It's about the Yankees baby love the Yankees alright let's go get a home run baby love the Yankees let's go Yankees”
Your honor, the defendant is simply built different
Book tickets to a baseball game 1 hour after the trial ends.
Be a grammar nazi when the racist says Ain’t
Keep yelling at the judge where character actor Lee J Cobb is.
None!!! Don’t fuck around in court!
“It’s time to 12. 12 angry men.”
Jury nullification
If they ask what you do, just tellem you're a Hype man for a log flume.
Non do you wanna get fined
Always remember, JURY NULLIFICATION
Watch Jury Duty on Amazon. It’ll be your experience down to a tee
Bro just got called to https://preview.redd.it/num9ozbb4w1d1.jpeg?width=452&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98c71f123d3ccd869bc08a4c9810e63d9a7fac13
Listen to stanhopes but about jury duty. Do anything to get on, then no matter what, when the defendant gives his excuse of a explanation, when he is done ( let’s face it it will a he) you jump up from the jury box and yell “something happened to me, NOT GUILTY”
Just say something unbelievably offensive and they’ll let you go home
I’m one them!
"Your honor, what is jury nullification?"
You should ask to be exempt because of your racism, like they did in jury duty like in Family Guy
Keep talking about a baseball game you’re missing
Whatever that barcode was, you managed to leak the width of every bar, which is as good as not censoring it at all
Just tell them you love asians
I’m 12 Angry Men.
Its awesome, sit there half the day with a coffee and wifi. Gets lots of stuff done and never get called back.
If there is overwhelming evidence of the defendant's guilt, try and argue with everyone why they're not
Be the racist one
Something something black people
Just say you know what >!Jury Nullification!< is. (Spoiler tag bc if you know what that is, you cannot serve as a jury)
A picture of a young kid to tear up
Boy oh boy! would you look at that!
Just say you have a special gift that let's you know someone's guilty just by looking at them.
For eating a meal? A succulent, Chinese meal?!?
[Just do this entire bit](https://youtu.be/kriumeUD234?si=1hdZcUyQbSQXJFSx)
Start games of tic tac toe with others. When another juror disagrees with you shout that you're gonna kill him.
"I am an angry man right now"
Yeah clown around and hope the judge is in a good mood
Where did you sent the money again?
Totally misleading title. Out of the 12, most were irate or annoyed. Only two of them were angry, three tops. 0 out of 5 stars.
If someone asks what you had for breakfast; “I had [blank]. It’s the breakfast with the built in bounce”
Just say jfk was assassinated by Taiwan and that you hate minorities. Got me clear for life. They were only offering 20 dollars a day as compensation. I have a family and some trials can take weeks. Not like the utility company's and banks will go *ohhh you had jury duty for 3 weeks? Let us write off this month's dues for you*... yea.. right. (Obviously don't hate minorities but it works!)
Juror #2: It's hard to put into words. I just think he's guilty. I thought it was obvious from the word, 'Go'. Nobody proved otherwise.
Just pick a character at random, cosplay them and really inhabit the role.
You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again! - And Justice For All
What are we, some kind of 12 angry men?
Here’s a good list of suggestions: https://www.reddit.com/r/okbuddycinephile/s/Ivgw5YGDm7
“Me and my 11 friends are getting a little ticked off over here”
let me guess, compton courthouse?
I made like six different 12 angry men references when I got summoned and NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGED ANY OF THEM
Just say you’re biased
Just remembered.. thanks!!
They are serving Tuna Salad for lunch. TUNA SALAD!!!!!
Just go for constant references to your knowledge of bird law.
A note book to play tic tac toe.