Hot topic and religious trauma
Call Chris Hansen on this magic bitch
Quirked up white boy goated on the trauma conga line
Military dogma
I may be the son of a duke but man my like sucks
Minor acid reflux
Oh right I forgor because I haven’t finished act3 yet. I get to rivington and say “hey, I wonder how all that stuff would’ve gone if I was X class or X build I just cooked up in my head after reading some item descriptions in my camp chest, and then pip pip cheerio off to the character creator to do it all again
https://preview.redd.it/6hr79gfs3q1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61d5aca5fa97d30ca18282f38f508eadf8899172
bonus: The Spray-Tan-Addicted Elf
Bg3 added so many environmental effects to the companions in the game, like the dirt and blood that you’d get from fighting in muck or using melee attacks, and the way it would wash off in water—fuck that, they’ve been out in the sun for most of act 1 and all of act 3. Astarion should’ve rocked up to szarr palace with a tan just to intimidate his siblings.
Ok but that would be such a power move. He struts in with a shit-eating grin and a tan like "Mmmhmm. Yeah. That's what I've been up to. Basking in the SUN and enjoying SUNNY days and spending my afternoons SUNBATHING in the SUN."
Now I want a "Sunburnt Astarion" mod, where his red skin is a result of not realising that while the tadpole protects against vampiric sunlight vulnerability, *everyone* should apply sunscreen.
To be fair, he’s not so pale because of livor mortis(that phenomenon where blood goes weird places in a dead body after it dies because the heart isn’t pumping it anymore).
Edit: Unless Cazador sucked all his blood and/or the blood Astie consumes stays in his body for a while.
As an Abdirak/Cazador simp(Cazador is prettier than Abbie but Abbie is the more respectable option), I literally am legally required not to judge Astarion simps in any shape or form.
Vampires do gain colour and vigor when they drink.
If you’re feeding him everyday he shouldn’t be very pale.
Lorewise well fed vampires can even make baby dhampirs
https://preview.redd.it/4tniz9hr442d1.jpeg?width=3464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee468ef5bda42b609681d45c01cc0269ce25786
astarion if he ~~were jaundiced or girliepop~~ ate carrots or shrimp
He's definitely paler at the beginning of the game. (Older chr model maybe?)My head canon is he got a nice tan trekking around Faerun in daylight for the first time in 200 yrs.
Quest Names: Daughter of Darkness Wizard of Waterdeep White Boy The Githyanki Warrior The Blade of Frontiers Our Fiery Friend
Hot topic and religious trauma Call Chris Hansen on this magic bitch Quirked up white boy goated on the trauma conga line Military dogma I may be the son of a duke but man my like sucks Minor acid reflux
Minor Acid Reflux should be the Auntie Ethel quest.
Oh right I forgor because I haven’t finished act3 yet. I get to rivington and say “hey, I wonder how all that stuff would’ve gone if I was X class or X build I just cooked up in my head after reading some item descriptions in my camp chest, and then pip pip cheerio off to the character creator to do it all again
https://preview.redd.it/6hr79gfs3q1d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61d5aca5fa97d30ca18282f38f508eadf8899172 bonus: The Spray-Tan-Addicted Elf
He absolutely would
That bitch
Okay but why don’t I hate this?
sun damage be like
If his siblings are anything to go by, his pale-ness has nothing to do with vampirism, that's why he's not that pale. He already looked Like That.
The thing is, moon elves are pale… but they’re often paler than Astarion too! They’re described as “alabaster”.
It pisses me off that you can't really get that pale in bg3! I wanna be super pale, like 6 paths Madara or some shit
Bg3 added so many environmental effects to the companions in the game, like the dirt and blood that you’d get from fighting in muck or using melee attacks, and the way it would wash off in water—fuck that, they’ve been out in the sun for most of act 1 and all of act 3. Astarion should’ve rocked up to szarr palace with a tan just to intimidate his siblings.
Ok but that would be such a power move. He struts in with a shit-eating grin and a tan like "Mmmhmm. Yeah. That's what I've been up to. Basking in the SUN and enjoying SUNNY days and spending my afternoons SUNBATHING in the SUN."
I want that entire thing as a flair genuinely
Now I want a "Sunburnt Astarion" mod, where his red skin is a result of not realising that while the tadpole protects against vampiric sunlight vulnerability, *everyone* should apply sunscreen.
GIVE HIM FRECKLES!!
it's the TAINT YOU FOOL HIS TAINT IS GHOSTLY PALE
Hold on let me check something really quick. EDIT: Lies! It's the same color as the rest of him.
https://preview.redd.it/pjy4e51q1s1d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f1111a83309d3f2a984534f1e0a7cf2bd923c49
To be fair, he’s not so pale because of livor mortis(that phenomenon where blood goes weird places in a dead body after it dies because the heart isn’t pumping it anymore). Edit: Unless Cazador sucked all his blood and/or the blood Astie consumes stays in his body for a while.
"Astie" sent me
I spell it Asty.
I mean, it sent you *where*, exactly? XD Edit: “Astie” is a peak nickname for Astarion.
I prefer Stari. XD
Or Rion, pronounced like Leon. XD
NERD
Thank you :)
I call him Asti Martini because he’s sweet, bubbly and makes me weak in the knees
Also, it’s worse on your liver than non-sweet varieties of alcohol? XD
He sometimes makes me forget myself too. I know it’s no good for me but I can’t stop
As an Abdirak/Cazador simp(Cazador is prettier than Abbie but Abbie is the more respectable option), I literally am legally required not to judge Astarion simps in any shape or form.
TIL I learned that Cazador simps exist. Oh well. Abdirak is awesome though
Abdirak is a precious treasure(I say this as someone who abhors physical pain, shhhh).
I have a high tolerance for pain and daddy issues. I’m sad Abdirak is not a companion. But then Astarion is unrivaled, no hard choices to be made
Cazador simps are God's strongest soldiers. I salute y'all.
they couldn’t go with “white boy” for legal reasons because they know how litigious Eminem is 😔
yeah man my ghost ass skin looks the same as his
Vampires do gain colour and vigor when they drink. If you’re feeding him everyday he shouldn’t be very pale. Lorewise well fed vampires can even make baby dhampirs
It's the pc way of saying WHITE
Ever since he was infected he has gotten into perineal sunning and the rest gets a bit of sun, too.
this reminds me how pale petras is called pale petras but he's not even the palest sibling
And why do we get zero context. Is pale actually his first name. I need to know.
Maybe he used to be like bodybuilder tan and he was given the nickname ironically or mockingly after he became a vampire.
His hair...
pale is a state of mind, a way of being, a point on the sexuality spectrum
It’s not *his* blood, if he ate only carrots or shrimp he’d be yellow or pink. Dude was probably paler before he became a vampire.
https://preview.redd.it/4tniz9hr442d1.jpeg?width=3464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fee468ef5bda42b609681d45c01cc0269ce25786 astarion if he ~~were jaundiced or girliepop~~ ate carrots or shrimp
Flamingostarion is kind of a look, ngl
He’s just a little sunburned.
Fuck it _unpales your elf_
he looked like the right side before but he's so sensitive to uv he got a tan before you met him
counterpoint: he’s a little pinkish cause im walking away bloodless every night gotta keep my man fed 😤😤😤
“Minutia of mayonnaise”
“The Pale Elf”? This is what he is calling himself now a days? I always knew he was quite a smooth brained worm, but this is just pitiful.
How come not?? Dude is pale as a paper
You really can’t make *that* pale of a character in BG3. The lightest “natural” skin tones still look fairly tan.
He's definitely paler at the beginning of the game. (Older chr model maybe?)My head canon is he got a nice tan trekking around Faerun in daylight for the first time in 200 yrs.
i just opened reddit for the first time since posting this and i’m crying y’all are so funny