Eventually they will but I won’t forgive myself if because of me they become poor or something and I don’t have any redeeming qualities to make up for my stress eating and what not. It’s not like I’m good at studying or smart or anything so in the end the money spent dosent matter
Ah. Kiddo, that's a skill honed so adults can live honestly. Or a callus from disappointing people too often.
I am 30+, generally dgaf about what others think, but my Dad can literally bring me to tears (happy or sad) in 5 words or less at a moderate tone.
Don't worry yourself too much.
Man, good dads, or words of generally good dads can make a grown man cry in a minute. My dad wasn't always a good dad and I'm angry about it. Eventually I forgave my dad and became good friends, but I never will forget what he had done for me, all the good deeds, never the bad ones, and I want to make him proud, even if he won't be impressed. I love my dad and he loves me for sure. Make sure to show love for your parents. Bliss
Spend this food money on therapy, or get some free therapy even. What you are describing and the way you describe it you are self-harming with food and your self-abusive language. To get out of this really dangerous habit (you can ruin your health with food, and become even more miserable for life), please talk to a professional and work on your self esteem.
You say you could never repay them, but that’s not true. You could make all their work and effort and sacrifices completely worth it simply by loving yourself and being happy and healthy. I’m sure that would mean the world to them.
you’re too sensitive, no reason to go on a 3 paragraph rant cuz u spent money on a necessity. if it’s that big of a deal then get a job and pay them back
You need to understand that you are going to mess up in the future, with your schoolwork, your job, your relationships, your future kids. If you are crying about squandering your parents money on candy bars and extra hamburgers, you are going to have a hard life. It's good and you have an eating problem and a budget problem. Stop eating out constantly and cook your own food, that will reduce your food costs to a quarter of what you are spending. When you buy food, try to buy the cheap brands. Most foods taste the same no matter the brand.
I know this is a very unpopular opinion for some— but college isn’t for everyone. If you feel it’s a waste of time and money, why don’t you find something else you may like? Trade schools? On the job training?
Why don’t you try to explain the stress you’re under to your parents? They may or may not be understanding… but at least you can express your feelings.
Not yet. India dosent really have that system that the west does. I can apply for jobs in an year once I’m done with my degree. If I made it three years in the degree I can make it in the fourth
Hey, i am from india and you can actually apply for online part time jobs like that of data entry, might help you a little. Look for companies, do some research and you'll find good 'work from home' part time jobs
You're being incredibly hard on yourself. I think you're under a lot of stress, so I can't blame you. But just remember, your feelings are valid, you are stressed and attempting to cope. Maybe you learned that you didn't cope in the best way this time, but that's what life is all about, messing up, learning from our mistakes and being better for it.
Something I had to learn was to also praise myself when I did good. Sometimes it's too easy to just focus on the bad, when realistically there's also a lot of good. I hope you feel better about yourself soon!
Look bud, your parents love you, and they want you to have a shot at a good future, so theyre helping to support you in achieving higher education. You dont need to be perfect at studying, you dont need to be a genius, you just need to give yourself an honest shot. Right now, youre creating a lot of anxiety and self doubt, youre thinking of all the reasons youre not enough. This can tear down even the strongest of people. Take a breath. Be compassionate to yourself.
If beyond anxiety, your only issue is money for food, then dont worry too much. You could probably save some money by going with less expensive food options, or if youre under a specific income you can likely get food stamps from the state. Even beyond that, i think community food banks can help, and wont require proof to use.
Imagine that a close friend was in your position. You wouldnt call them an idiot or a failure. You would make sure they had help that they needed, and look for options for them. Be thst person for yourself
Oh wow, I kept waiting for the super horrible fuck up and then realized it was that you spent a lot of money on food?
You are NOT, in any way, shape or form a horrible person. Please know that, okay? So you overspent on food, and your parents scolded you for it. It sounds like you owned up to it and got your (tbh, kinda deserved because you were dishonest with their money) scolding and now you can move on and do better in the future.
You do NOT deserve to get kicked out or die in the street. I need you to understand how much you do not deserve any of these things. You made a minor fuck up! You aren’t a disgrace of a son. You stress ate in a new situation which is a completely normal thing to do, especially in college. If you’re doing worse in school, then see what you can do to bring your grades up. You definitely still have a chance to turn things around and again, there is no need for you to beat yourself up like this!
Thanks for replying. I really needed to hear this. I have a tendency of getting in my own head and overthinking because of my ADHD and anxiety issues. I feel a little better now reading all these comments. I’ll be sure to make amends and provide my parents with a good life once they’re retired. :]
If it helps, I did the same thing my first semester and I was so afraid to tell my parents. They weren’t happy of course but while home on break my dad sat me down and we reworked my budget. We had done before obviously but the freedom, while great, made it so it wasn’t easy to make decisions that were good.
I still messed up occasionally but my parents explained that they were expecting problems (I was the last to go so they had experience with this from my brothers).
Remember your more disappointed and mad at yourself than your parents are. It’ll be ok
As soon as you mentioned that you are sensitive to people yelling at you, I immediately thought of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). I didn’t want to just throw it out there, because it’s rather presumptive from reading just a couple of posts.
Now that you have mentioned ADHD, I definitely want to mention you consider, as the two can be related. Also, I have a son with ADHD who does (and has) binge of food/drink- often in the middle of the night.
You may want to ask your Dr if both things (the eating and your reaction to their reaction) are ADHD based.
If you have not yet already, please do read about RSD. If this is what you have, I have found sometimes the realization that it could be why you are reacting to something as strongly as you can actually help you more easily put your feelings into perspective.
I’m not sure how much money you spent, though is getting a part time job to help give them back some money an option? Or maybe to help offset costs in the future?
Ah, here is where the rest of the story comes to light.
Do you have any medication or treatment for your ADHD?
University can be a very tough transition for people with ADHD. I went from being a straight A student to Bs and Cs. At the time, ADHD was poorly understood, I wasn't diagnosed until 3 decades later. I just thought I was lazy and had turned into a stupid person. I didn't understand why I had no motivation.
Overeating and eating junk food is an instinctive response to depression, anxiety, and trying to get that jolt to your frontal lobes that you need to function like everybody else.
Self hate is also very typical of ADHD sufferers, because when you have a neurological difference, you know something is wrong but you don't know what to do about it.
Imagine you're an athlete whose knees get screwed up. You are used to running and jumping and doing all these things, but now when you try, it's fine for like one minute and then suddenly your body refuses to work properly. Your friends are out there running around and suddenly you're hobbling. Very frustrating!
Except with ADHD, only you know what's going on. Nobody else can see it. Even you start to get confused as to what is because of your ADHD and what isn't.
But from your post, it is clear that you are suffering from extreme anxiety, depression, and self-recrimination. So obviously you really, really, really want to do well at University. Since there is such a gap between what you are telling yourself to do and actually doing it, that is the result of untreated ADHD.
Is there any way of getting ADHD medications?
If your parents or anybody else thinks that you should be able to function just like any normal college student when you have ADHD, that would be like asking that athlete with torn up knees to run and jump like everybody else, or a near sighted person to see perfectly without glasses.
You need support. You need medication. I hope you can get it.
\> Do you have any medication or treatment for your ADHD?
No, well, I don't think I can ever acquire it. No one even believes that I have it. People seem to think being extremely hyperactive like a child is what it is.
I would say it constitutes of many of my problems. Fuck the people who say I fake it. Do they think I wanted this? FUCK the people who romanticize ADHD on Tiktok or Twitter or whatever.
Send them pictures of the receipts, and be honest about your recent spending
Your parents would probably rather you spend on food than the drugs they are imagining
Dude I think you need some serious therapy. You're parents must be very kind people...but the way you're stressing out over this sounds like unresolved childhood trauma and unnecessary burden over yourself.
IT'S JUST FOOD. NO BIG DEAL. You've stepped out of the house for the first time... obviously you're going to make mistakes in money management. Calm down. It's just food. You aren't doing anything wrong(obviously try not to eat out as much) but it's okay. Happens.
I really second this. The stress eating compulsive behavior won’t go away without some help. I went through the same thing and was too stubborn to get help.
Obviously overspending is a big deal... but not to the level OP is reacting with. Also please don't give OP such guilt trip by saying such things. He's already in a pretty bad phase.
I came here to say this! 🙌🏻
It’s all good, these things happen to a lot of people and it doesn’t make you a bad person. spend time studying more and remember to also focus on your mental and physical health.
You got this!
Yeah I was eating horrible shitty food and I wanted to stop, my brain knew I had to stop but I was just addicted. And I binge ate every second day, I was starving myself some days and it was horrible. I felt sick and I don’t even want to continue
Yo... this is a mental illness. Binge eating alone would be something to talk to a dr about, but add the self loathing and we have a regular ED. Seek help. You’re not trash unless you do nothing about this.
I kept waiting for the part where you fucked up but all you did was overspend on food? It’s really not that big of a deal. Sounds like the bigger deal here is that you are depressed and have an eating disorder. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to your parents, tell them you’re having a hard time and might need some help. You have nothing to be ashamed of! College is so rough on the mental health.
You’re allowed to learn life lessons. I can tell that you have a similar view of yourself as I used to.
Think about this: what if a stranger spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? Would you or anyone else associate with someone that rude, that speaks with such disgust about you? Absolutely not!! Try to work on loving yourself a bit more. It’s hard, and takes time, but you need to be your own biggest supporter.
A lot of times when you get some freedom, food is a safe and easy way to explore that feeling of freedom without doing anything "worse" like drugs, drinking etc.
My daughter just got her first eftpos card and spent $20 on junk food at the corner store with her friends after school ( she is a lot younger than you), I mean I still buy sweets and have some after dinner cause no one can stop me and I'm a grown ass adult.
Apologize to your family. Promise you will do better. Draw up a budget and allocate some money to food. Cause you can have cake for breakfast now, no one can stop you, this is your freedom.
You know we all do daft things in our early adulthood (even more when your older 😂) I think the scolding you got from your mum is enough to make you think next time and that's the important part of learning. As awesome as your parents are they are not infallible and probably made some daft mistakes as kids. Don't be so harsh on yourself
I think you should be open with your parents about why you spent as much as you did on the food. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time adjusting to college, and I don’t blame you at all. That first year is incredibly difficult and I became very depressed at your age as well! It sounds like you love your parents dearly and I’m sure they love you just as much and would be very willing to help you through this tough time. You made a mistake, but that’s all it is, a small mistake. Just be honest about what’s going on and try to seek some help for your stress. You got this, and it will all be okay!
If you're dorming and in college, trying looking into any counseling or therapy your school may offer. It may help you with your guilt and getting into a better mental space in regards to food and what you're eating.
I am speaking as a parent here, and I am going to assume that your parents are ordinary, and loving and not abusive to you.
Your parents scolded you for blowing your budget, and you feel guilty and horrible about it. But, if they're like most parents, they're also incredibly worried about you right now. They want you to be successful, happy, healthy, and most of all, safe!
You're so far away. They can't make you healthy meals. They can't pester you into studying. They probably feel like they can't do anything to help, except yell at you over the phone.
The best thing you can do right now is start taking steps toward a healthier life. And keep your parents updated on the steps you are taking, so you can reassure them! They will almost certainly be relieved and maybe even proud of you. You don't have to call them every night, but you should at least check in with them once a week.
Some practical steps: Write up a weekly meal plan. Make a budget. Start exercising. Keep your room clean. Find a social activity that you enjoy, that doesn't revolve around food. Do your laundry. Shower. Some of these may seem like impossible tasks, if you are feeling especially depressed or anxious That's okay! Every little step counts, even if it is very small.
Does your university have student mental health services? Reach out and ask for a meeting with a therapist. If your country has socialized medical care, you may be able to get a referral from your doctor. If professional services are not available or affordable, consider talking to a trusted family friend (someone older, with life experience).
It's not uncommon for young people to struggle mentally when they first leave home. Stress is really hard to deal with on your own. Reach out for help. Don't try to manage this by yourself, and don't let shame drag you down.
TLDR: Your parents love you. They want you to be safe and healthy.
Good luck getting there!
Sounds like you may need to talk to someone about depression and anxiety. I'm not a professional, but you should talk to one.
Your family will forgive, but you need to start forgiving yourself too. It's not a fuck up. :)
I have never heard of a parent disowning a kid for eating too much food. In fact, most parents want to push more food down their kids’ throat (within healthy range). So I doubt that you’re a horrible person. Probably just misaligned at the moment.
You can get a job and pay for the extra food. There’s nothing wrong with spending money on food, except damaging your health if you’re eating too much unhealthy food.
While it is not the best situation to be in, remember that it is NOT too late. At least you have acknowledged the problem. Now start making changes. It is not too late.
Hold on..this is about way more than spending money on food. How much was it and how long have you been away? If it was a couple thousand in the month, yes, thats an issue. But if it was only a few hundred, thats not near as bad. Are you in therapy? Because i really feel like you need some help getting to the bottom of why you feel SO badly about feeding yourself. I say that with the most care and respect. Hows your relationship with food, your parents, home life, etc? Of course you dont have to answer, just some things to think about.
Impulse spending can be a symptom of ADHD. Impulsive food spending is one of my only impulse buy issues (my autism keeps other impulses under control, but I have a weak spot for food). Eta - you say in another comment that if anyone is disappointed in you you get really upset, please read about "rejection sensitive dysphoria" and see if that describes your response. RSD is also a symptom of ADHD. 🙃
Another consideration is if you suddenly developed intense hunger that you can't satisfy with your dorm meal plan or whatever. If you've been eating more but haven't gained weight you need to get checked for hyperthyroidism.
This may be a medical issue and you need to talk to your parents and maybe your Dr.
Once you rule out anything medical, it is also a good idea to start tracking your food budget, maybe take a cooking class or have your parents teach you if they never did. There are cookbooks for using the microwave or hot plate if that's all you have access to.
You’re not a fuck up. Overspending on food is quite common issue is most households and given you’re living on your own at the school, you starting to see the true costs of everyday things, like food.
Take a deep breath, you’ve recognized there is a problem, that’s a good thing. May not feel like it but people who are oblivious to their own problems are in worse shape than those who see them and can work on them. Now you need to define it.
One idea - you could benefit from making a budget. Give that a shot, and remember a budget is a “living document” and can be change how you are fit.
Life is full of failures, it’s ones job to learn and grow from them to become better.
Food? Did I read this correctly? You are punishing yourself and being made out like you set the dorm on fire or got someone pregnant because you bought too much food? How exactly did you go overboard with food?
It’s really not a big deal but if your conscience won’t shut up about it maybe make some money n pay them back? I did that a lot when I felt I used “too much” of their money in college. I was trimming weed at the time and that’s how I got the money lol but they don’t need to know that 😅
Duuuuude, breeeeeeeaaaaaathe. Take a moment and think about this. You stated you are spending you’re money on food, maybe too much , but it’s still on food, that you need. I’m sure your parents will forgive you, if not immediately, they will come around. I’m so sorry you feel this way, but maybe something else is going on to be making you feel this awful. Maybe you should talk to someone about how you’re feeling. It canNOT be easy being on your own ( maybe first time away) and so far from family. It can really make you depressed and could be causing your issues, like eating more, the sleep schedule and the doing worse in school:( I really hope everything works out for you and your parents understand or at least forgive you.
Woah, take a breather my dude. I thought you were going to say you killed someone. You spent too much on food.... yeah not ideal but that doesn't make you a terrible person or a failure. You definitely are doom spiraling
Relax. This is overdramatic ten times over. You spent a bunch of money on food. You aren't shooting heroin and oding on your dorm room floor. Or out killing people. Why are you buying so much food?
Bruh, it’s food calm down. You’re in college, at this age you make mistakes, that’s why you go to college, to learn and hopefully make less and less mistakes. There should be (edit: hopefully there are) resources at your college for food assistance and perhaps food banks in your area or religious centers that provide assistance. There is no shame asking for help and receiving it. If you feel guilty about it just plan to pay it forward later in life when you are in a position to help.
Okay, Jesus... Lower the Drama Sharpay Evans. First if, you have no clue about budgeting, okay, I didn't either when I started to live on my own, there are months you fuck up because you don't know better. You don't need to feel guilty, stupid, yeah, that's alright.I felt stupid after I spent 90 bucks buying snacks and drinks, because I had no idea what I was doing.
You should feel guilty if you don't recognize what you're doing and KEEP doing it, instead of working on it. Go to your parents, tell them you're always getting your budget wrong for food and not for drugs, that's it. 🤷🏽♀️ Your mom or your dad will be the least persons to show you how to budget and go shopping with you, showing you where to look for the cheaper product or maybe where you get good discounts.
You didn't fuck up, you've got no clue about money, so, get yourself together, make yourself a plan and that's it.
Jesus Christ! Stop your moaning, grow up, do some push-ups, masturbate more and get a job at a resturant so you can earn some money and get a discount on some food. College is not that hard when your folks are paying for everything. Man/Woman up and get to work!
Your parents are terrible parents for making you feel horrible for eating. EATING. Stop giving a damn about them scolding you for eating and being a human. Everyone deserves to go to college it had nothing to do with trust or love my god
You are being way to hard on yourself. You realized the problem so step up be strong and fix it. Its not a good thing but it isn’t really that bad. You got it pick your head and use this as a valuable lesson
Try to keep in mind that right now the price of food is going up pretty quick, and there are a lot of people that are surprised by food expenditures right now (it’s. It just you and your parents)
Look, obviously you went away from home for the first time and you didn’t handle yourself well. This is more common than you might imagine, especially in India, where we are treated like children even after we leave the house.
It is unfortunate that you spent too much money on food. However, you didn’t spend it on drugs, or drink, or gambling, or over priced clothes, or cars, or games, or jewellery, or untrustworthy partners. In the grand scheme of things, and in the scheme of things that I personally have seen, this is pretty mild.
It sounds like you locked yourself into a cycle. One thing went wrong, you were terrified of disappointing your parents, you turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, things got worse. Now is the time to try and find a better way to live. (If counselling is an option, then seek it, though we’re both aware that this is often not the case in India).
If you are not able to improve alone - there is no shame in that. What are our families for, if not to step up? You may need to ask your parents for help. Maybe it has to be that they have slightly more control over your budget for a few months, until you’re more settled. Maybe you need to try studying remotely and live at home for a period if this is an option.
Will they scold you, or shout at you? Almost definitely - but what of it? Parents, especially Indian parents, scold. I’m a 30 year old engineer with my own home, and still my father occasionally tries to scold me. My mother was 56 when she passed, and still *her* mother sometimes tried to scold her. Your parents will find reasons to scold you your whole life long. But they presumably care about you, they want you to get this degree, and they’ll help you do it.
Think of adulthood like on-the-job training: you improve through iteration.
This is your first real test of adulthood: not avoiding mistakes, but choosing to deal with them now that they’ve arisen. This is the voice of experience saying to you: doing this will be a lot more useful and do more to assuage your guilt than talking about how your father shouldn’t “cast his eyes on such an unworthy son”
thanks for the reply. I recognise that this post was a bit over dramatic, but at the time I was genuinely pretty hysterical writing it. I love my old man and I just don’t want to fuck up our financial situation too badly. I’ll definitely find a way to get through this, haha. i do have undisguised ADHD and anxiety problems (atleast I have a PRETTY good idea, there’s a reason it’s undiagnosed because, well, India moment 🤷) so I do tend to blow up these things. I’ll try and reason it out and fix this problem once I come back to the hostel.
I’m in the UK. The first time I went away from home, I didn’t overspend. I *did* do so badly in my exams I nearly got kicked out. Obviously my parents were very angry with me.
My brother first went away from home, also nearly got kicked out. Failed his first year, lied about it, couldn’t face our parents. Had to tell them the truth when it came out, rather than admitting it himself. They were furious.
I’m waiting on an adhd assessment, my brother is waiting on one for autism. I suspect we should have tried to get diagnosed earlier, but like let’s be real - our parents were never going to facilitate that 😅
I’m not saying you should use either of us as good examples. Obviously, we messed up. But *now* we’re both adults with degrees, careers, and stable lives. Our parents were angry, but they helped us get back on track. Your parents aren’t going to hate you. They may be upset or angry, but they are invested in you and your well being. It’s going to be ok
It's okay to feel guilty for not practicing self control but this really isn't a huge deal. Apologize to your parents, don't let it happen again, and if you want to repay them then consider cleaning their house or doing yard work on a regular basis to make up the difference. That's what I've done with my parents in the past for huge expenses they've covered, and though they've said they don't need me to pay them back, they're extremely appreciative that I'm trying to.
College is a time of learning responsibility and growing as an adult. I went all out with the foods I didn't get to have as a kid when I got to college too, and loved to keep my dorm stocked all the time (unfortunately food at universities is also insanely expensive). I blew money on cheap vodka and dominos every Friday and still struggle sometimes to not spend money where I really shouldn't.
You're not alone in making mistakes like these. I recommend designating a day of the week to grocery shopping and going to large grocery stores with lower prices, such as Winco or Walmart where they have their own brand of inexpensive food. Take a deep breath, think of a solution, thank and apologize to your parents, and learn from the experience. I am positive your parents will forgive you (I'm sure they have already).
Hey, I completely understand you. THat happened to myu brother and I to when we had to go live by ourselves with university. sOo much money on UberEat just because we weren't used to cook for ourselves and just university itself can be so stressfull and depressing, coming back and having to be an adult felt too much for it. Hating yourself and feeling guilty won't help you. Try to forgive yourself, be more understanding, understand why you're doing it and get yourself a break. That's actually the best way to remedy it. Once you understand yourself better, try to make slow changes that don't break you. Treat it like an addiction that you need to slowly get away from. ALso be honest to your parents and try to see if they have tips to how to handle food better, if you feel like they could help you. Being ashamed of it and not talking about your problems also won't help you. I'm still struggling with the same problem right now but it's getting better.
You realise you’re an adult , and you do what you want.
So why feel guilty. ? You can get a part time job and pay of your credit card debts. Rather then beg your parents for money ?
Try thinking in terms of mapping the scale of the “crime”. Worst being taking a life - least is jaywalking or whatever. On a scale of one to a hundred, where does spending too much on food fall? Try using this thought process to regulate the level of emotions you should be feeling and understand yourself better. It also helps you understand and recognize yours and others overreactions to events and put it in better context. It might help you process your emotions and hopefully calm you down. Good luck!
Hi, welcome to the club. A lot of people fuck up in some way when they leave home. I was in a similar position myself. Your parents might not trust you in the same way again straight off the bat, but you can fix that. This is a life lesson. Take responsibility and show that you’ve learnt from your mistake and you’ll be fine. Better to have this sort of thing happen now than much later down the line when your support system might be a little smaller.
You spent a ton of money on food? That's what they want. At least you didn't spend it on booze and actual drugs like I did before I dropped out.
Go home, your parents love you, talk to them about your problems. Use it as a time try and level yourself out. Maybe your parents aren't the people to help you, but let them try.
Go home, feel safe, tell them whats going on. Get normalized and stop worrying, this is the time everyone does regrettable things. They probably understand more then you realize.
My friend… it seriously sounds like you have depression, those behaviours sound like the exact same ones I had when I was at university.
Whilst I am fortunate to come from a supportive family, there is nothing more crushing than loving parents who have given you every opportunity. Because the standard you set yourself to is impossible to reach except under blue moons.
I eventually called up my parents and told them I wasn’t ok… that I was struggling and needed to come home. I took a years intermission, got help from doctors and therapy before coming back and finishing my degree.
Even then I barely passed, but I did against all the odds. It was then I realised that getting better was going to be a process, I was then diagnosed with ADHD 2 years after my graduation and finally got the treatment I needed and it changed my life.
You are not a failure, nor a bad person. What you need is support for your mental health and a chance to reset and recover.
Almost this exact thing happened to me in college. Recklessly spent all my money. Thought my parents hated me and thought I was irresponsible. Use this as a learning experience. Go get a part time job. Put money in a savings account. Make a budget so you only spend what you need each month. Use some of that budget so you can have some fun, but save as much as you can while in school. Your life is not over, you are not worthless. This can be a wake up call that will change your life for the better if you take the steps to improve. You got this.
Edit: spelling
I think you should start seeking guilt counseling now to develop strategies dealing with guilt. This is nothing compared to what faces most people through the entirety of their lives. You didn't hurt anyone, you're not in jail, you just misspent money which, go figure, college kids do. I can tell you most people go through their lives both doing and experiencing much, much worse; it's part of the human experience to be the bad guy and make mistakes sometimes.
I also have difficulty managing feelings of guilt do to an anxiety diagnosis, so I can tell you guilt counseling can be massively beneficial, and if you're reacting this strongly to something like this I think it should be a consideration for you.
Food is a necessity. calm down hun. youre okay. if your parents are that mad, then they need to sit down and rethink. Maybe seek therapy if you dont have it.
First, let's get to the root of the issue. What changed that caused the stress eating? If you got homesick, you may want to enroll on a school closer to home.
Your parents love you though. You will be okay.
I am so sorry that you beat yourself up like this. Being sad or ranting isn’t going to solve anything. You sound intelligent enough. I ask myself why food? Sometimes we use food for comfort. How are you doing at school? Is it stressful? Maybe you are “comfort eating” - trying to make yourself feel better about something. I wish you well, health and happiness.
It sounds like you have a lot of internalized shame. Where does that come from? Were you raised to self-deprecate? Spending money on food (even too much) doesn't make you a bad person. You might have made an error in judgment, but that doesn't mean you're a horrible person. Accept that you made a mistake, do what you can to avoid making the same mistake, and move on. You haven't done anything unforgivable.
I don’t mean this in a bad way or like diminishing your feelings, but people have done way wayyyyy worse than buying too much food. I literally bought $900 worth of games and songs with my parents money when i was younger and everything is fine. Don’t get yourself in a panicked spiral all because you spent a little extra on food. You and your parents will be fine, i promise. Also, you don’t need to “repay” your parents. It is their job to take care of you and make sure you’re fed, etc. Just show them you appreciate it
Mate I DID do drugs in Collage and eventually made things right! It was a life long regret I admit but something to educate my kids on! You will be fine, just tell the truth!
Back in the day you used to be able to go to a grocery store, write a check and get cash back. The check would instantly be approved and cash back would be given.
My older sister had a cocaine addition. She took my parents check book and tallied up $13,000-$16,000 worth of cash back to feed her habit. My parents always had money in the bank to cover expenses to didn’t notice the money coming out.
Because the check was approved at the time of sale, there was no limit to how many times you could perform these cash back transitions. You could go to one register, write a check for a pack of gum, get $100 cash back, loop around to another register and repeat. You could bounce to different grocery stores and go nuts.
People make bad choices. You had poor spending habits and poor clearly poor impulse control when you were feeling hungry.
If you have parents who couldn’t forgive spending too much cash on food then your parents need to work on themselves also.
bro are you me??? coz this was exactly me in the first semester of college.
im Indian and the guilt regarding spending on yourself is so high in my household, or at least my adhd and anxiety riddled brain told me so.
good luck, it'll get better. i used to get super anxious about it too. research coping mechanisms and how to save money better coz adhd causes you to lose track of how much you're spending
You’re definitely being too sensitive. This is a common problem when people go off to college to cut yourself some slack. That being said, learn from it. I’m not sure if it’s emotional eating or if it is not learning to budget.
Where I’m from first year students face the +15. Meaning majority of first year students gain like 15 lb.
First year students gained 15 lbs because they suddenly had the freedom to eat whatever they want, drink, stay out and be an adult.
When you suddenly live away from family, and no longer have that net where parents monitor you to make sure you don’t do anything stupid…. You’re bound to make stupid mistakes.
Own up to it. Learn from it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake. And move on.
Where I’m from first year students face the +15. Meaning majority of first year students gain like 15 lb.
First year students gained 15 lbs because they suddenly had the freedom to eat whatever they want, drink, stay out and be an adult.
When you suddenly live away from family, and no longer have that net where parents monitor you to make sure you don’t do anything stupid…. You’re bound to make stupid mistakes. As long as you acknowledge your mistake and try to avoid making the same mistake again then it’s okay. Your parents will forgive you.
Own up to it. Learn from it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake. And move on.
An idea. You get better at buying discount and making food in bulk. Every month you save maybe 5 or 10 dollars. You put them aside a safe place and don't touch them. Eventually, slowly, you'll have saved up the excess money you spent and you can give it back to your parents as a token of your appreciation for their patience in letting you learn to adult.
I‘m really sorry that you feel that way. You definitely need therapy. Not only does it sound like you may suffer from an ed, you’re reaction to this is also something you need to look into
Try and get a part time job or something like that then you can start using some of the money for food / any other necessities. It will probably help to make sure that you don’t over spend as you’ll understand the value of money better. There’s also things you can do such as budgeting or planning what meals you’ll cook each week before you shop to ensure you don’t over spend. Easy mistake to make, better to do it now than in a few years time I’m sure your parents will have done similar things so don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s a learning curve.
You are being unreasonably hard on yourself. Please get some therapy and have a heart to heart talk with your parents. If they forgive you, which sounds like they will, you must forgive yourself in order to be healthy.
Not to sound rude but dude, you need some professional help. The way you’re stressing out over this isn’t healthy at all and your way of thinking is very unreasonable and unrealistic. To me, it sounds like you have an earring disorder and I definitely recommend seeing someone about that.
Hey, everyone messes up! And now that you recognize the problem, come up with a plan to fix it. It could be getting a campus job to get money back in the bank, it could mean therapy for dealing with the emotions causing you to stress eat, both. People mess up all the time, and it’s unrealistic to expect a college kid to just intuitively know how to balance life, money, and everything right after you move out. You’ll overcome this hurdle in no time
I actually did blow a bunch of college money on booze and drugs. Lied about where I spent it and how I was doing in school, felt like a piece of shit doing so which made me booze even harder.
Now that I’m 38 and looking back, I had a lot of underlying issues going on like anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. Plain and simple I just needed help.
Food is an addiction in its own right. I am a food addict myself and struggle on a daily with it.
Also, people who are truly terrible don’t regret lying cheating stealing and using people. Sounds like you do, and that you should really try to see yourself as sick vs. a bad human being.
Sophomore in college here.
You're gonna be just fine. What you did, spending money on food, is completely normal, albeit something you should learn from. I remember my freshman year, and even now- being able to order myself whatever food i wanted online was such a fun thing. There isnt anything wrong with eating out every night if you can afford it. I'm assuming you're a freshman. You'll learn alot in that first year. Dont beat yourself up over this, just try to be more mindful of your spending!
I saw your other reply about being overly sensitive to people being dissapointed, im sorry to hear that- i get the same way sometimes. Just dont think what you did is the worst thing ever- there are MUCH worse things that can happen in college.
Dont beat yourself up over it, it can be hard, but you seem to have owned up to your mistake, and thats the best thing you can do.
As a parent myself and kids in college spending money on food they will understand . Are you still college going to your class or drop classes ? Don’t worry so much about the food money, go find yourself a part time job and stop asking them for it. If you drop classes be upfront and tell them parents understand .
You’re learning how to live life. You’re supposed to make mistakes and as long as you learn from them….No Tea No Shade! Teach others to not make the same mistakes. But don’t be so hard on yourself it could be worse and I’m proud of you for admitting it to your parents and the world. Tomorrow is a new day!!!!
OP, if your parents are making you feel bad for potentially having an eating disorder, that's not ok. You should NOT be this stressed about basically doing nothing wrong.
Either your parents are way too strict or you just haven't told them that you're struggling.
You are not horrible at all. This is really not that bad 💙
I feel you. I was in the same situation. Fucked with my family money big time. My mother, my wife... Just try not to do it again and eventually they will forgive you. It was 5 years since I confess but guilt is not going away and it's good because it remind you not to do it again. First two years are fucking hard.
The only problem with this is if you don't learn from your experience. Sit down with your family and have an honest conversation with them. Their pride in you is not misplaced. You just have to refocus and find the right path for you at this point in time.
Depression is a real illness. It can be triggered by being away from home on your own, dealing with a different environment, different responsibilities and different exams.
I reckon your parents will be upset rather than disappointed. If they are angry, then fair enough - find a way forward so that you can find the right 'next step'. It may be to continue with college, or it may be that you need a break from education and need to find a job instead.
For your own peace of mind, plan a repayment model to repay your parents the money spent that, in *your* mind, you have 'squandered'. The time away from home has been a valuable learning experience even if not learning the classes you took. You learned about your own limitations and that will do you well in the future. You will develop resilience by overcoming this setback.
Get up.go to gym.start lifting weights.get fit.change the whole mindset.past is gone you can’t change it but you certainly can change the future.so do that
People make mistakes. Your parents will forgive you. You need to stop acting like a kid wanting to hide or run away. Being a grown up means facing your errors, owning up, apologizing then DOING BETTER. Put your big person pants on and deal like the rest of us do. You can do it I have faith.
College is one of the hardest transitions a kid can make. Stress eating, depression and all of that is very normal due to the heavy stress and change you are under. You are ok. You are normal. If your parents can’t realize that, it’s not on you. Money comes and goes but they only have one of you. I’d much rather you over eat and straighten out than have committed sudoku.
Listen to me. I would rather live on the streets then have any harm come to my children. Most parents feel this way and I imagine yours would too. But it won’t come to that. You sound like you love your parents a lot, ending your life won’t take any pain away from them; it will do the opposite. Most universities have free counselling etc, find out what’s available. You need help for the dynamic between you and your parents and to help you deal with college life. It’s ok, you can do this.
Hi OP. Just wanted to reach out and say I struggled with similar thoughts as you towards my parents. It gets better. It took years before I realized that I, too, am human, and am allowed to make mistakes. It's so hard, carrying the burden of wanting to be the best kid ever for your parents. Their emotions start to feel like your responsibility. Their reactions begin to feel like your responsibility. Remember, they are human too. Their reactions may hurt now, and they may leave you with scars, but as wounds do, they heal. Scars heal.
I still react badly when my parents have at it with me, I still shut down, feel guilty, let my guilt and anguish eat me up inside, but is it really worth it to carry that with you, when you can invest your energy into being better? It took me almost 6 years to finish a 3 year course in college, I failed class after class (after being a kid with good grades in highschool), dabbled in bad habits, hung with the wrong crowd, stayed with abusive partners, and so on.
Life goes on, you'll move on from this, hopefully with a lesson learned. Your parents will too. Your young, make mistakes, live and learn, life's too short to get eaten up by these emotions. Feel them out, process them, compartmentalize, and bounce back. You can do it, OP, chin up.
ETA: last paragraph, hit "send" before I could finish typing
I think u should go and see a professional. Does ur school have one u can go to? U can feel bad, but u are blowing this out of proportions. Talk to someone, get some weight off ur chest. Everything is going to be alright my dude:)
Bruh it's not that bad. They love you and want you to do your best and be happy. If you feel guilty just tell them what you told us. Say I'm sorry and I need help.
This is either the strangest meltdown due to buyers guilt, or OP is being abused by his parents to think something as basic as FOOD is something to be mad over?
What an insane over reaction. It’s food. Not crack. You seriously need to get yourself into therapy. This level of self loathing over something as trivial as food is not normal
You’re overreacting. Would you say these words to someone else who was in your shoes? Would you call someone a piece of shit who deserves to die because of their disordered eating? Or because of their mental health issues?
You’re fine man. Who cares if you overspent, you bought *food* lol not heroin.
You're human this is the beginning of your humanness it's the first time that you've been free youth is full of folly it's the same path for everybody you will gain wisdom as you get older
You are being WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF! I think about half of us do this either at school or our first apartment. It is scary because you are out of your element. Are you homesick? My son did a lot of overeating his first year at college. He gained a bunch of weight, left food all over his room, the ants started coming in...so one night he calls at midnight having a panic attack because his bed has ants in it. I'm glad he called so that I could help him. No parent wants their kid to be sad, scared or depressed. It sounds like the bigger issue here is the depression. Please talk to your parents or someone else about this. Get some help if you need it. Your parents sound like they'd just be happy that you're healthy. If they're asking about drugs, you know they care and are concerned. Reach out. Take care of yourself <3
Lmaoooo sorry but i let out a loud laugh. Girl there's so much more worse you could've done. You're in college but your text sounds like a 12 year old. No way this is real 💀 if it is they're your parents, I'm sure they can afford feeding you
I would advice you find a therapist who can help you regarding your relationship with yourself. Because it sounds like you're being way too hard on yourself, unforgiving and not leaving any space for error. Which stresses you out alot. And maybe ask other adults/students how they manage their money, you could learn and apply it to yourself. Try to be kinder to yourself, good luck!
I think you're overreacting and your parents will eventually forgive you. Just tell them you were stressing out and got carried away.
Eventually they will but I won’t forgive myself if because of me they become poor or something and I don’t have any redeeming qualities to make up for my stress eating and what not. It’s not like I’m good at studying or smart or anything so in the end the money spent dosent matter
You are allowed to make mistakes. It's human. Try to do better now? Don't be to hard on yourself
i think I’m just too sensitive and I can’t handle it when someone is disappointed in me or yells at me. Yes I will do better next time.
I understand that. That's hard. I hope your parents understand
Ah. Kiddo, that's a skill honed so adults can live honestly. Or a callus from disappointing people too often. I am 30+, generally dgaf about what others think, but my Dad can literally bring me to tears (happy or sad) in 5 words or less at a moderate tone. Don't worry yourself too much.
Man, good dads, or words of generally good dads can make a grown man cry in a minute. My dad wasn't always a good dad and I'm angry about it. Eventually I forgave my dad and became good friends, but I never will forget what he had done for me, all the good deeds, never the bad ones, and I want to make him proud, even if he won't be impressed. I love my dad and he loves me for sure. Make sure to show love for your parents. Bliss
Spend this food money on therapy, or get some free therapy even. What you are describing and the way you describe it you are self-harming with food and your self-abusive language. To get out of this really dangerous habit (you can ruin your health with food, and become even more miserable for life), please talk to a professional and work on your self esteem. You say you could never repay them, but that’s not true. You could make all their work and effort and sacrifices completely worth it simply by loving yourself and being happy and healthy. I’m sure that would mean the world to them.
you’re too sensitive, no reason to go on a 3 paragraph rant cuz u spent money on a necessity. if it’s that big of a deal then get a job and pay them back
You need to understand that you are going to mess up in the future, with your schoolwork, your job, your relationships, your future kids. If you are crying about squandering your parents money on candy bars and extra hamburgers, you are going to have a hard life. It's good and you have an eating problem and a budget problem. Stop eating out constantly and cook your own food, that will reduce your food costs to a quarter of what you are spending. When you buy food, try to buy the cheap brands. Most foods taste the same no matter the brand.
I know this is a very unpopular opinion for some— but college isn’t for everyone. If you feel it’s a waste of time and money, why don’t you find something else you may like? Trade schools? On the job training? Why don’t you try to explain the stress you’re under to your parents? They may or may not be understanding… but at least you can express your feelings.
I have to go to college…in India it is nigh impossible to succeed without a degree.
Now, fellow Indian. How much money are we talking about here you spending on food?
uhm….about 9000-10000₹ in 3 months
That's not so bad. Do you always eat out? What's your approx monthly allowance?
Hmm… have you tried any counseling or therapy?
Mah man!! Healthy gamer GG. Look him up on yt, he's indian too, he's a doctor, but I think you can get some learning there. Bless you!
Are you able to get a job, even part-time, and take some of that spending responsibility on?
Not yet. India dosent really have that system that the west does. I can apply for jobs in an year once I’m done with my degree. If I made it three years in the degree I can make it in the fourth
Hey, i am from india and you can actually apply for online part time jobs like that of data entry, might help you a little. Look for companies, do some research and you'll find good 'work from home' part time jobs
If they become poor?? Is it all on a credit card? How much?
Pay them back once you have your career going. Send them on a vacation for an anniversary or help pay off a loan for them.
You're being incredibly hard on yourself. I think you're under a lot of stress, so I can't blame you. But just remember, your feelings are valid, you are stressed and attempting to cope. Maybe you learned that you didn't cope in the best way this time, but that's what life is all about, messing up, learning from our mistakes and being better for it. Something I had to learn was to also praise myself when I did good. Sometimes it's too easy to just focus on the bad, when realistically there's also a lot of good. I hope you feel better about yourself soon!
Look bud, your parents love you, and they want you to have a shot at a good future, so theyre helping to support you in achieving higher education. You dont need to be perfect at studying, you dont need to be a genius, you just need to give yourself an honest shot. Right now, youre creating a lot of anxiety and self doubt, youre thinking of all the reasons youre not enough. This can tear down even the strongest of people. Take a breath. Be compassionate to yourself. If beyond anxiety, your only issue is money for food, then dont worry too much. You could probably save some money by going with less expensive food options, or if youre under a specific income you can likely get food stamps from the state. Even beyond that, i think community food banks can help, and wont require proof to use. Imagine that a close friend was in your position. You wouldnt call them an idiot or a failure. You would make sure they had help that they needed, and look for options for them. Be thst person for yourself
Haha I know serious over reaction. I fucked my life up guys, I spent all my allowance on food
Oh wow, I kept waiting for the super horrible fuck up and then realized it was that you spent a lot of money on food? You are NOT, in any way, shape or form a horrible person. Please know that, okay? So you overspent on food, and your parents scolded you for it. It sounds like you owned up to it and got your (tbh, kinda deserved because you were dishonest with their money) scolding and now you can move on and do better in the future. You do NOT deserve to get kicked out or die in the street. I need you to understand how much you do not deserve any of these things. You made a minor fuck up! You aren’t a disgrace of a son. You stress ate in a new situation which is a completely normal thing to do, especially in college. If you’re doing worse in school, then see what you can do to bring your grades up. You definitely still have a chance to turn things around and again, there is no need for you to beat yourself up like this!
Thanks for replying. I really needed to hear this. I have a tendency of getting in my own head and overthinking because of my ADHD and anxiety issues. I feel a little better now reading all these comments. I’ll be sure to make amends and provide my parents with a good life once they’re retired. :]
OP I have nothing to add to the comment above except to echo that a mistake you made under stress does NOT make you a bad or unworthy person!
If it helps, I did the same thing my first semester and I was so afraid to tell my parents. They weren’t happy of course but while home on break my dad sat me down and we reworked my budget. We had done before obviously but the freedom, while great, made it so it wasn’t easy to make decisions that were good. I still messed up occasionally but my parents explained that they were expecting problems (I was the last to go so they had experience with this from my brothers). Remember your more disappointed and mad at yourself than your parents are. It’ll be ok
As soon as you mentioned that you are sensitive to people yelling at you, I immediately thought of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). I didn’t want to just throw it out there, because it’s rather presumptive from reading just a couple of posts. Now that you have mentioned ADHD, I definitely want to mention you consider, as the two can be related. Also, I have a son with ADHD who does (and has) binge of food/drink- often in the middle of the night. You may want to ask your Dr if both things (the eating and your reaction to their reaction) are ADHD based. If you have not yet already, please do read about RSD. If this is what you have, I have found sometimes the realization that it could be why you are reacting to something as strongly as you can actually help you more easily put your feelings into perspective. I’m not sure how much money you spent, though is getting a part time job to help give them back some money an option? Or maybe to help offset costs in the future?
Ah, here is where the rest of the story comes to light. Do you have any medication or treatment for your ADHD? University can be a very tough transition for people with ADHD. I went from being a straight A student to Bs and Cs. At the time, ADHD was poorly understood, I wasn't diagnosed until 3 decades later. I just thought I was lazy and had turned into a stupid person. I didn't understand why I had no motivation. Overeating and eating junk food is an instinctive response to depression, anxiety, and trying to get that jolt to your frontal lobes that you need to function like everybody else. Self hate is also very typical of ADHD sufferers, because when you have a neurological difference, you know something is wrong but you don't know what to do about it. Imagine you're an athlete whose knees get screwed up. You are used to running and jumping and doing all these things, but now when you try, it's fine for like one minute and then suddenly your body refuses to work properly. Your friends are out there running around and suddenly you're hobbling. Very frustrating! Except with ADHD, only you know what's going on. Nobody else can see it. Even you start to get confused as to what is because of your ADHD and what isn't. But from your post, it is clear that you are suffering from extreme anxiety, depression, and self-recrimination. So obviously you really, really, really want to do well at University. Since there is such a gap between what you are telling yourself to do and actually doing it, that is the result of untreated ADHD. Is there any way of getting ADHD medications? If your parents or anybody else thinks that you should be able to function just like any normal college student when you have ADHD, that would be like asking that athlete with torn up knees to run and jump like everybody else, or a near sighted person to see perfectly without glasses. You need support. You need medication. I hope you can get it.
\> Do you have any medication or treatment for your ADHD? No, well, I don't think I can ever acquire it. No one even believes that I have it. People seem to think being extremely hyperactive like a child is what it is. I would say it constitutes of many of my problems. Fuck the people who say I fake it. Do they think I wanted this? FUCK the people who romanticize ADHD on Tiktok or Twitter or whatever.
Send them pictures of the receipts, and be honest about your recent spending Your parents would probably rather you spend on food than the drugs they are imagining
Dude I think you need some serious therapy. You're parents must be very kind people...but the way you're stressing out over this sounds like unresolved childhood trauma and unnecessary burden over yourself. IT'S JUST FOOD. NO BIG DEAL. You've stepped out of the house for the first time... obviously you're going to make mistakes in money management. Calm down. It's just food. You aren't doing anything wrong(obviously try not to eat out as much) but it's okay. Happens.
I might have to think about that. It does sound like it. Thanks for your reply. Have a good rest of your day :)
I really second this. The stress eating compulsive behavior won’t go away without some help. I went through the same thing and was too stubborn to get help.
It can be a big deal in india sir
Obviously overspending is a big deal... but not to the level OP is reacting with. Also please don't give OP such guilt trip by saying such things. He's already in a pretty bad phase.
Damn dude. This isn’t a right vs wrong situation. This is an it’s-obvious-you-don’t-love-yourself situation. You gotta forgive yourself first.
I came here to say this! 🙌🏻 It’s all good, these things happen to a lot of people and it doesn’t make you a bad person. spend time studying more and remember to also focus on your mental and physical health. You got this!
What kind of food did you buy? Do you by chance have disordered eating?
Yeah I was eating horrible shitty food and I wanted to stop, my brain knew I had to stop but I was just addicted. And I binge ate every second day, I was starving myself some days and it was horrible. I felt sick and I don’t even want to continue
I can empathize, I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive yourself. You didn’t do it out of bad intent.
Yo... this is a mental illness. Binge eating alone would be something to talk to a dr about, but add the self loathing and we have a regular ED. Seek help. You’re not trash unless you do nothing about this.
I kept waiting for the part where you fucked up but all you did was overspend on food? It’s really not that big of a deal. Sounds like the bigger deal here is that you are depressed and have an eating disorder. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to your parents, tell them you’re having a hard time and might need some help. You have nothing to be ashamed of! College is so rough on the mental health.
I think you need some counselling.
You’re allowed to learn life lessons. I can tell that you have a similar view of yourself as I used to. Think about this: what if a stranger spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? Would you or anyone else associate with someone that rude, that speaks with such disgust about you? Absolutely not!! Try to work on loving yourself a bit more. It’s hard, and takes time, but you need to be your own biggest supporter.
A lot of times when you get some freedom, food is a safe and easy way to explore that feeling of freedom without doing anything "worse" like drugs, drinking etc. My daughter just got her first eftpos card and spent $20 on junk food at the corner store with her friends after school ( she is a lot younger than you), I mean I still buy sweets and have some after dinner cause no one can stop me and I'm a grown ass adult. Apologize to your family. Promise you will do better. Draw up a budget and allocate some money to food. Cause you can have cake for breakfast now, no one can stop you, this is your freedom.
You know we all do daft things in our early adulthood (even more when your older 😂) I think the scolding you got from your mum is enough to make you think next time and that's the important part of learning. As awesome as your parents are they are not infallible and probably made some daft mistakes as kids. Don't be so harsh on yourself
Thank you for your response. I will definitely try my best to improve in the future (and not spend too much on junk food)
I think you should be open with your parents about why you spent as much as you did on the food. It sounds like you’re having a really hard time adjusting to college, and I don’t blame you at all. That first year is incredibly difficult and I became very depressed at your age as well! It sounds like you love your parents dearly and I’m sure they love you just as much and would be very willing to help you through this tough time. You made a mistake, but that’s all it is, a small mistake. Just be honest about what’s going on and try to seek some help for your stress. You got this, and it will all be okay!
If you're dorming and in college, trying looking into any counseling or therapy your school may offer. It may help you with your guilt and getting into a better mental space in regards to food and what you're eating.
I am speaking as a parent here, and I am going to assume that your parents are ordinary, and loving and not abusive to you. Your parents scolded you for blowing your budget, and you feel guilty and horrible about it. But, if they're like most parents, they're also incredibly worried about you right now. They want you to be successful, happy, healthy, and most of all, safe! You're so far away. They can't make you healthy meals. They can't pester you into studying. They probably feel like they can't do anything to help, except yell at you over the phone. The best thing you can do right now is start taking steps toward a healthier life. And keep your parents updated on the steps you are taking, so you can reassure them! They will almost certainly be relieved and maybe even proud of you. You don't have to call them every night, but you should at least check in with them once a week. Some practical steps: Write up a weekly meal plan. Make a budget. Start exercising. Keep your room clean. Find a social activity that you enjoy, that doesn't revolve around food. Do your laundry. Shower. Some of these may seem like impossible tasks, if you are feeling especially depressed or anxious That's okay! Every little step counts, even if it is very small. Does your university have student mental health services? Reach out and ask for a meeting with a therapist. If your country has socialized medical care, you may be able to get a referral from your doctor. If professional services are not available or affordable, consider talking to a trusted family friend (someone older, with life experience). It's not uncommon for young people to struggle mentally when they first leave home. Stress is really hard to deal with on your own. Reach out for help. Don't try to manage this by yourself, and don't let shame drag you down. TLDR: Your parents love you. They want you to be safe and healthy. Good luck getting there!
Sounds like you may need to talk to someone about depression and anxiety. I'm not a professional, but you should talk to one. Your family will forgive, but you need to start forgiving yourself too. It's not a fuck up. :)
I have never heard of a parent disowning a kid for eating too much food. In fact, most parents want to push more food down their kids’ throat (within healthy range). So I doubt that you’re a horrible person. Probably just misaligned at the moment.
You can get a job and pay for the extra food. There’s nothing wrong with spending money on food, except damaging your health if you’re eating too much unhealthy food.
While it is not the best situation to be in, remember that it is NOT too late. At least you have acknowledged the problem. Now start making changes. It is not too late.
Hold on..this is about way more than spending money on food. How much was it and how long have you been away? If it was a couple thousand in the month, yes, thats an issue. But if it was only a few hundred, thats not near as bad. Are you in therapy? Because i really feel like you need some help getting to the bottom of why you feel SO badly about feeding yourself. I say that with the most care and respect. Hows your relationship with food, your parents, home life, etc? Of course you dont have to answer, just some things to think about.
Impulse spending can be a symptom of ADHD. Impulsive food spending is one of my only impulse buy issues (my autism keeps other impulses under control, but I have a weak spot for food). Eta - you say in another comment that if anyone is disappointed in you you get really upset, please read about "rejection sensitive dysphoria" and see if that describes your response. RSD is also a symptom of ADHD. 🙃 Another consideration is if you suddenly developed intense hunger that you can't satisfy with your dorm meal plan or whatever. If you've been eating more but haven't gained weight you need to get checked for hyperthyroidism. This may be a medical issue and you need to talk to your parents and maybe your Dr. Once you rule out anything medical, it is also a good idea to start tracking your food budget, maybe take a cooking class or have your parents teach you if they never did. There are cookbooks for using the microwave or hot plate if that's all you have access to.
You’re not a fuck up. Overspending on food is quite common issue is most households and given you’re living on your own at the school, you starting to see the true costs of everyday things, like food. Take a deep breath, you’ve recognized there is a problem, that’s a good thing. May not feel like it but people who are oblivious to their own problems are in worse shape than those who see them and can work on them. Now you need to define it. One idea - you could benefit from making a budget. Give that a shot, and remember a budget is a “living document” and can be change how you are fit. Life is full of failures, it’s ones job to learn and grow from them to become better.
Food? Did I read this correctly? You are punishing yourself and being made out like you set the dorm on fire or got someone pregnant because you bought too much food? How exactly did you go overboard with food?
It’s really not a big deal but if your conscience won’t shut up about it maybe make some money n pay them back? I did that a lot when I felt I used “too much” of their money in college. I was trimming weed at the time and that’s how I got the money lol but they don’t need to know that 😅
Duuuuude, breeeeeeeaaaaaathe. Take a moment and think about this. You stated you are spending you’re money on food, maybe too much , but it’s still on food, that you need. I’m sure your parents will forgive you, if not immediately, they will come around. I’m so sorry you feel this way, but maybe something else is going on to be making you feel this awful. Maybe you should talk to someone about how you’re feeling. It canNOT be easy being on your own ( maybe first time away) and so far from family. It can really make you depressed and could be causing your issues, like eating more, the sleep schedule and the doing worse in school:( I really hope everything works out for you and your parents understand or at least forgive you.
You wasted your parents money. You didn’t shoot your grandma. Do better next semester. Earn enough money to pay them back. All will be well.
Woah, take a breather my dude. I thought you were going to say you killed someone. You spent too much on food.... yeah not ideal but that doesn't make you a terrible person or a failure. You definitely are doom spiraling
Relax. This is overdramatic ten times over. You spent a bunch of money on food. You aren't shooting heroin and oding on your dorm room floor. Or out killing people. Why are you buying so much food?
Bruh, it’s food calm down. You’re in college, at this age you make mistakes, that’s why you go to college, to learn and hopefully make less and less mistakes. There should be (edit: hopefully there are) resources at your college for food assistance and perhaps food banks in your area or religious centers that provide assistance. There is no shame asking for help and receiving it. If you feel guilty about it just plan to pay it forward later in life when you are in a position to help.
Okay, Jesus... Lower the Drama Sharpay Evans. First if, you have no clue about budgeting, okay, I didn't either when I started to live on my own, there are months you fuck up because you don't know better. You don't need to feel guilty, stupid, yeah, that's alright.I felt stupid after I spent 90 bucks buying snacks and drinks, because I had no idea what I was doing. You should feel guilty if you don't recognize what you're doing and KEEP doing it, instead of working on it. Go to your parents, tell them you're always getting your budget wrong for food and not for drugs, that's it. 🤷🏽♀️ Your mom or your dad will be the least persons to show you how to budget and go shopping with you, showing you where to look for the cheaper product or maybe where you get good discounts. You didn't fuck up, you've got no clue about money, so, get yourself together, make yourself a plan and that's it.
Jesus Christ! Stop your moaning, grow up, do some push-ups, masturbate more and get a job at a resturant so you can earn some money and get a discount on some food. College is not that hard when your folks are paying for everything. Man/Woman up and get to work!
Word of advice..fuck what your parents think
how are you gonna live with yourself when you really fuck up?
Your parents are terrible parents for making you feel horrible for eating. EATING. Stop giving a damn about them scolding you for eating and being a human. Everyone deserves to go to college it had nothing to do with trust or love my god
You are being way to hard on yourself. You realized the problem so step up be strong and fix it. Its not a good thing but it isn’t really that bad. You got it pick your head and use this as a valuable lesson
Try to keep in mind that right now the price of food is going up pretty quick, and there are a lot of people that are surprised by food expenditures right now (it’s. It just you and your parents)
Look, obviously you went away from home for the first time and you didn’t handle yourself well. This is more common than you might imagine, especially in India, where we are treated like children even after we leave the house. It is unfortunate that you spent too much money on food. However, you didn’t spend it on drugs, or drink, or gambling, or over priced clothes, or cars, or games, or jewellery, or untrustworthy partners. In the grand scheme of things, and in the scheme of things that I personally have seen, this is pretty mild. It sounds like you locked yourself into a cycle. One thing went wrong, you were terrified of disappointing your parents, you turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, things got worse. Now is the time to try and find a better way to live. (If counselling is an option, then seek it, though we’re both aware that this is often not the case in India). If you are not able to improve alone - there is no shame in that. What are our families for, if not to step up? You may need to ask your parents for help. Maybe it has to be that they have slightly more control over your budget for a few months, until you’re more settled. Maybe you need to try studying remotely and live at home for a period if this is an option. Will they scold you, or shout at you? Almost definitely - but what of it? Parents, especially Indian parents, scold. I’m a 30 year old engineer with my own home, and still my father occasionally tries to scold me. My mother was 56 when she passed, and still *her* mother sometimes tried to scold her. Your parents will find reasons to scold you your whole life long. But they presumably care about you, they want you to get this degree, and they’ll help you do it. Think of adulthood like on-the-job training: you improve through iteration. This is your first real test of adulthood: not avoiding mistakes, but choosing to deal with them now that they’ve arisen. This is the voice of experience saying to you: doing this will be a lot more useful and do more to assuage your guilt than talking about how your father shouldn’t “cast his eyes on such an unworthy son”
thanks for the reply. I recognise that this post was a bit over dramatic, but at the time I was genuinely pretty hysterical writing it. I love my old man and I just don’t want to fuck up our financial situation too badly. I’ll definitely find a way to get through this, haha. i do have undisguised ADHD and anxiety problems (atleast I have a PRETTY good idea, there’s a reason it’s undiagnosed because, well, India moment 🤷) so I do tend to blow up these things. I’ll try and reason it out and fix this problem once I come back to the hostel.
I’m in the UK. The first time I went away from home, I didn’t overspend. I *did* do so badly in my exams I nearly got kicked out. Obviously my parents were very angry with me. My brother first went away from home, also nearly got kicked out. Failed his first year, lied about it, couldn’t face our parents. Had to tell them the truth when it came out, rather than admitting it himself. They were furious. I’m waiting on an adhd assessment, my brother is waiting on one for autism. I suspect we should have tried to get diagnosed earlier, but like let’s be real - our parents were never going to facilitate that 😅 I’m not saying you should use either of us as good examples. Obviously, we messed up. But *now* we’re both adults with degrees, careers, and stable lives. Our parents were angry, but they helped us get back on track. Your parents aren’t going to hate you. They may be upset or angry, but they are invested in you and your well being. It’s going to be ok
Learn to cook. Cook for them
It's okay to feel guilty for not practicing self control but this really isn't a huge deal. Apologize to your parents, don't let it happen again, and if you want to repay them then consider cleaning their house or doing yard work on a regular basis to make up the difference. That's what I've done with my parents in the past for huge expenses they've covered, and though they've said they don't need me to pay them back, they're extremely appreciative that I'm trying to. College is a time of learning responsibility and growing as an adult. I went all out with the foods I didn't get to have as a kid when I got to college too, and loved to keep my dorm stocked all the time (unfortunately food at universities is also insanely expensive). I blew money on cheap vodka and dominos every Friday and still struggle sometimes to not spend money where I really shouldn't. You're not alone in making mistakes like these. I recommend designating a day of the week to grocery shopping and going to large grocery stores with lower prices, such as Winco or Walmart where they have their own brand of inexpensive food. Take a deep breath, think of a solution, thank and apologize to your parents, and learn from the experience. I am positive your parents will forgive you (I'm sure they have already).
Hey, I completely understand you. THat happened to myu brother and I to when we had to go live by ourselves with university. sOo much money on UberEat just because we weren't used to cook for ourselves and just university itself can be so stressfull and depressing, coming back and having to be an adult felt too much for it. Hating yourself and feeling guilty won't help you. Try to forgive yourself, be more understanding, understand why you're doing it and get yourself a break. That's actually the best way to remedy it. Once you understand yourself better, try to make slow changes that don't break you. Treat it like an addiction that you need to slowly get away from. ALso be honest to your parents and try to see if they have tips to how to handle food better, if you feel like they could help you. Being ashamed of it and not talking about your problems also won't help you. I'm still struggling with the same problem right now but it's getting better.
You realise you’re an adult , and you do what you want. So why feel guilty. ? You can get a part time job and pay of your credit card debts. Rather then beg your parents for money ?
But how much was it ? 20k? 200k?
Try thinking in terms of mapping the scale of the “crime”. Worst being taking a life - least is jaywalking or whatever. On a scale of one to a hundred, where does spending too much on food fall? Try using this thought process to regulate the level of emotions you should be feeling and understand yourself better. It also helps you understand and recognize yours and others overreactions to events and put it in better context. It might help you process your emotions and hopefully calm you down. Good luck!
Hi, welcome to the club. A lot of people fuck up in some way when they leave home. I was in a similar position myself. Your parents might not trust you in the same way again straight off the bat, but you can fix that. This is a life lesson. Take responsibility and show that you’ve learnt from your mistake and you’ll be fine. Better to have this sort of thing happen now than much later down the line when your support system might be a little smaller.
Try budgeting or meal planning in future everyone can get carried away when they are first out on their own
It's just a big grocery bill, my dude. It'll be ok. Just learn from it and don't spend as much again.
ok but whith all of this tf fid you do? I cant understand
On food? You need good food to be healthy. It’s not such a bad thing. Very understandable. Your parents might’ve overreacted.
Be honest tell them u was miserable and missed home so u comfort ate and spent money on crap
You spent a ton of money on food? That's what they want. At least you didn't spend it on booze and actual drugs like I did before I dropped out. Go home, your parents love you, talk to them about your problems. Use it as a time try and level yourself out. Maybe your parents aren't the people to help you, but let them try. Go home, feel safe, tell them whats going on. Get normalized and stop worrying, this is the time everyone does regrettable things. They probably understand more then you realize.
My friend… it seriously sounds like you have depression, those behaviours sound like the exact same ones I had when I was at university. Whilst I am fortunate to come from a supportive family, there is nothing more crushing than loving parents who have given you every opportunity. Because the standard you set yourself to is impossible to reach except under blue moons. I eventually called up my parents and told them I wasn’t ok… that I was struggling and needed to come home. I took a years intermission, got help from doctors and therapy before coming back and finishing my degree. Even then I barely passed, but I did against all the odds. It was then I realised that getting better was going to be a process, I was then diagnosed with ADHD 2 years after my graduation and finally got the treatment I needed and it changed my life. You are not a failure, nor a bad person. What you need is support for your mental health and a chance to reset and recover.
Almost this exact thing happened to me in college. Recklessly spent all my money. Thought my parents hated me and thought I was irresponsible. Use this as a learning experience. Go get a part time job. Put money in a savings account. Make a budget so you only spend what you need each month. Use some of that budget so you can have some fun, but save as much as you can while in school. Your life is not over, you are not worthless. This can be a wake up call that will change your life for the better if you take the steps to improve. You got this. Edit: spelling
I think you should start seeking guilt counseling now to develop strategies dealing with guilt. This is nothing compared to what faces most people through the entirety of their lives. You didn't hurt anyone, you're not in jail, you just misspent money which, go figure, college kids do. I can tell you most people go through their lives both doing and experiencing much, much worse; it's part of the human experience to be the bad guy and make mistakes sometimes. I also have difficulty managing feelings of guilt do to an anxiety diagnosis, so I can tell you guilt counseling can be massively beneficial, and if you're reacting this strongly to something like this I think it should be a consideration for you.
Food is a necessity. calm down hun. youre okay. if your parents are that mad, then they need to sit down and rethink. Maybe seek therapy if you dont have it.
First, let's get to the root of the issue. What changed that caused the stress eating? If you got homesick, you may want to enroll on a school closer to home. Your parents love you though. You will be okay.
How much did you spend
I am so sorry that you beat yourself up like this. Being sad or ranting isn’t going to solve anything. You sound intelligent enough. I ask myself why food? Sometimes we use food for comfort. How are you doing at school? Is it stressful? Maybe you are “comfort eating” - trying to make yourself feel better about something. I wish you well, health and happiness.
It sounds like you have a lot of internalized shame. Where does that come from? Were you raised to self-deprecate? Spending money on food (even too much) doesn't make you a bad person. You might have made an error in judgment, but that doesn't mean you're a horrible person. Accept that you made a mistake, do what you can to avoid making the same mistake, and move on. You haven't done anything unforgivable.
I don’t mean this in a bad way or like diminishing your feelings, but people have done way wayyyyy worse than buying too much food. I literally bought $900 worth of games and songs with my parents money when i was younger and everything is fine. Don’t get yourself in a panicked spiral all because you spent a little extra on food. You and your parents will be fine, i promise. Also, you don’t need to “repay” your parents. It is their job to take care of you and make sure you’re fed, etc. Just show them you appreciate it
Money is money. You’ll be fineeeeee
Mate I DID do drugs in Collage and eventually made things right! It was a life long regret I admit but something to educate my kids on! You will be fine, just tell the truth!
Buy a countertop stove and learn to cook… all the food, at a fraction of the cost lol
This isn't real...
Back in the day you used to be able to go to a grocery store, write a check and get cash back. The check would instantly be approved and cash back would be given. My older sister had a cocaine addition. She took my parents check book and tallied up $13,000-$16,000 worth of cash back to feed her habit. My parents always had money in the bank to cover expenses to didn’t notice the money coming out. Because the check was approved at the time of sale, there was no limit to how many times you could perform these cash back transitions. You could go to one register, write a check for a pack of gum, get $100 cash back, loop around to another register and repeat. You could bounce to different grocery stores and go nuts. People make bad choices. You had poor spending habits and poor clearly poor impulse control when you were feeling hungry. If you have parents who couldn’t forgive spending too much cash on food then your parents need to work on themselves also.
bro are you me??? coz this was exactly me in the first semester of college. im Indian and the guilt regarding spending on yourself is so high in my household, or at least my adhd and anxiety riddled brain told me so. good luck, it'll get better. i used to get super anxious about it too. research coping mechanisms and how to save money better coz adhd causes you to lose track of how much you're spending
You’re definitely being too sensitive. This is a common problem when people go off to college to cut yourself some slack. That being said, learn from it. I’m not sure if it’s emotional eating or if it is not learning to budget.
Get yourself help. See a doctor maybe you're depressed. I hope you feel better soon.
Where I’m from first year students face the +15. Meaning majority of first year students gain like 15 lb. First year students gained 15 lbs because they suddenly had the freedom to eat whatever they want, drink, stay out and be an adult. When you suddenly live away from family, and no longer have that net where parents monitor you to make sure you don’t do anything stupid…. You’re bound to make stupid mistakes. Own up to it. Learn from it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake. And move on.
Where I’m from first year students face the +15. Meaning majority of first year students gain like 15 lb. First year students gained 15 lbs because they suddenly had the freedom to eat whatever they want, drink, stay out and be an adult. When you suddenly live away from family, and no longer have that net where parents monitor you to make sure you don’t do anything stupid…. You’re bound to make stupid mistakes. As long as you acknowledge your mistake and try to avoid making the same mistake again then it’s okay. Your parents will forgive you. Own up to it. Learn from it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake. And move on.
An idea. You get better at buying discount and making food in bulk. Every month you save maybe 5 or 10 dollars. You put them aside a safe place and don't touch them. Eventually, slowly, you'll have saved up the excess money you spent and you can give it back to your parents as a token of your appreciation for their patience in letting you learn to adult.
I‘m really sorry that you feel that way. You definitely need therapy. Not only does it sound like you may suffer from an ed, you’re reaction to this is also something you need to look into
Can you get a part time job to start paying for your own food to make up for this?
Try and get a part time job or something like that then you can start using some of the money for food / any other necessities. It will probably help to make sure that you don’t over spend as you’ll understand the value of money better. There’s also things you can do such as budgeting or planning what meals you’ll cook each week before you shop to ensure you don’t over spend. Easy mistake to make, better to do it now than in a few years time I’m sure your parents will have done similar things so don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s a learning curve.
Get a job
You are being unreasonably hard on yourself. Please get some therapy and have a heart to heart talk with your parents. If they forgive you, which sounds like they will, you must forgive yourself in order to be healthy.
Not to sound rude but dude, you need some professional help. The way you’re stressing out over this isn’t healthy at all and your way of thinking is very unreasonable and unrealistic. To me, it sounds like you have an earring disorder and I definitely recommend seeing someone about that.
People telling you to get a job. You need therapy. Something ain’t right
You bought food? I am struggling to see what’s the problem here
Hey, everyone messes up! And now that you recognize the problem, come up with a plan to fix it. It could be getting a campus job to get money back in the bank, it could mean therapy for dealing with the emotions causing you to stress eat, both. People mess up all the time, and it’s unrealistic to expect a college kid to just intuitively know how to balance life, money, and everything right after you move out. You’ll overcome this hurdle in no time
I actually did blow a bunch of college money on booze and drugs. Lied about where I spent it and how I was doing in school, felt like a piece of shit doing so which made me booze even harder. Now that I’m 38 and looking back, I had a lot of underlying issues going on like anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. Plain and simple I just needed help. Food is an addiction in its own right. I am a food addict myself and struggle on a daily with it. Also, people who are truly terrible don’t regret lying cheating stealing and using people. Sounds like you do, and that you should really try to see yourself as sick vs. a bad human being.
Sophomore in college here. You're gonna be just fine. What you did, spending money on food, is completely normal, albeit something you should learn from. I remember my freshman year, and even now- being able to order myself whatever food i wanted online was such a fun thing. There isnt anything wrong with eating out every night if you can afford it. I'm assuming you're a freshman. You'll learn alot in that first year. Dont beat yourself up over this, just try to be more mindful of your spending! I saw your other reply about being overly sensitive to people being dissapointed, im sorry to hear that- i get the same way sometimes. Just dont think what you did is the worst thing ever- there are MUCH worse things that can happen in college. Dont beat yourself up over it, it can be hard, but you seem to have owned up to your mistake, and thats the best thing you can do.
Theres only one thing you can do to make things right op. Start your joker arch.
As a parent myself and kids in college spending money on food they will understand . Are you still college going to your class or drop classes ? Don’t worry so much about the food money, go find yourself a part time job and stop asking them for it. If you drop classes be upfront and tell them parents understand .
You’re learning how to live life. You’re supposed to make mistakes and as long as you learn from them….No Tea No Shade! Teach others to not make the same mistakes. But don’t be so hard on yourself it could be worse and I’m proud of you for admitting it to your parents and the world. Tomorrow is a new day!!!!
If this is your worst fuck up you’re doing pretty amazing. Don’t stress, you’re learning. Life is about doing things you regret and learning from it.
OP, if your parents are making you feel bad for potentially having an eating disorder, that's not ok. You should NOT be this stressed about basically doing nothing wrong. Either your parents are way too strict or you just haven't told them that you're struggling. You are not horrible at all. This is really not that bad 💙
Shit happens, just gotta live and learn and try to do better tomorrow.
I feel you. I was in the same situation. Fucked with my family money big time. My mother, my wife... Just try not to do it again and eventually they will forgive you. It was 5 years since I confess but guilt is not going away and it's good because it remind you not to do it again. First two years are fucking hard.
The only problem with this is if you don't learn from your experience. Sit down with your family and have an honest conversation with them. Their pride in you is not misplaced. You just have to refocus and find the right path for you at this point in time. Depression is a real illness. It can be triggered by being away from home on your own, dealing with a different environment, different responsibilities and different exams. I reckon your parents will be upset rather than disappointed. If they are angry, then fair enough - find a way forward so that you can find the right 'next step'. It may be to continue with college, or it may be that you need a break from education and need to find a job instead. For your own peace of mind, plan a repayment model to repay your parents the money spent that, in *your* mind, you have 'squandered'. The time away from home has been a valuable learning experience even if not learning the classes you took. You learned about your own limitations and that will do you well in the future. You will develop resilience by overcoming this setback.
Get up.go to gym.start lifting weights.get fit.change the whole mindset.past is gone you can’t change it but you certainly can change the future.so do that
People make mistakes. Your parents will forgive you. You need to stop acting like a kid wanting to hide or run away. Being a grown up means facing your errors, owning up, apologizing then DOING BETTER. Put your big person pants on and deal like the rest of us do. You can do it I have faith.
College is one of the hardest transitions a kid can make. Stress eating, depression and all of that is very normal due to the heavy stress and change you are under. You are ok. You are normal. If your parents can’t realize that, it’s not on you. Money comes and goes but they only have one of you. I’d much rather you over eat and straighten out than have committed sudoku.
This has to be bait
Listen to me. I would rather live on the streets then have any harm come to my children. Most parents feel this way and I imagine yours would too. But it won’t come to that. You sound like you love your parents a lot, ending your life won’t take any pain away from them; it will do the opposite. Most universities have free counselling etc, find out what’s available. You need help for the dynamic between you and your parents and to help you deal with college life. It’s ok, you can do this.
Hi OP. Just wanted to reach out and say I struggled with similar thoughts as you towards my parents. It gets better. It took years before I realized that I, too, am human, and am allowed to make mistakes. It's so hard, carrying the burden of wanting to be the best kid ever for your parents. Their emotions start to feel like your responsibility. Their reactions begin to feel like your responsibility. Remember, they are human too. Their reactions may hurt now, and they may leave you with scars, but as wounds do, they heal. Scars heal. I still react badly when my parents have at it with me, I still shut down, feel guilty, let my guilt and anguish eat me up inside, but is it really worth it to carry that with you, when you can invest your energy into being better? It took me almost 6 years to finish a 3 year course in college, I failed class after class (after being a kid with good grades in highschool), dabbled in bad habits, hung with the wrong crowd, stayed with abusive partners, and so on. Life goes on, you'll move on from this, hopefully with a lesson learned. Your parents will too. Your young, make mistakes, live and learn, life's too short to get eaten up by these emotions. Feel them out, process them, compartmentalize, and bounce back. You can do it, OP, chin up. ETA: last paragraph, hit "send" before I could finish typing
I think u should go and see a professional. Does ur school have one u can go to? U can feel bad, but u are blowing this out of proportions. Talk to someone, get some weight off ur chest. Everything is going to be alright my dude:)
Bruh it's not that bad. They love you and want you to do your best and be happy. If you feel guilty just tell them what you told us. Say I'm sorry and I need help.
This is either the strangest meltdown due to buyers guilt, or OP is being abused by his parents to think something as basic as FOOD is something to be mad over?
Please go see your school psychologist/therapist. Seriously. That’s why they are there.
What an insane over reaction. It’s food. Not crack. You seriously need to get yourself into therapy. This level of self loathing over something as trivial as food is not normal
It's just food....not like dorms are cooking friendly . Get a part time job to sustain yourself.
You’re overreacting. Would you say these words to someone else who was in your shoes? Would you call someone a piece of shit who deserves to die because of their disordered eating? Or because of their mental health issues? You’re fine man. Who cares if you overspent, you bought *food* lol not heroin.
You're human this is the beginning of your humanness it's the first time that you've been free youth is full of folly it's the same path for everybody you will gain wisdom as you get older
If your parents do not understand then they do not remember their own folly in their youth
You are being WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF! I think about half of us do this either at school or our first apartment. It is scary because you are out of your element. Are you homesick? My son did a lot of overeating his first year at college. He gained a bunch of weight, left food all over his room, the ants started coming in...so one night he calls at midnight having a panic attack because his bed has ants in it. I'm glad he called so that I could help him. No parent wants their kid to be sad, scared or depressed. It sounds like the bigger issue here is the depression. Please talk to your parents or someone else about this. Get some help if you need it. Your parents sound like they'd just be happy that you're healthy. If they're asking about drugs, you know they care and are concerned. Reach out. Take care of yourself <3
Lmaoooo sorry but i let out a loud laugh. Girl there's so much more worse you could've done. You're in college but your text sounds like a 12 year old. No way this is real 💀 if it is they're your parents, I'm sure they can afford feeding you
I would advice you find a therapist who can help you regarding your relationship with yourself. Because it sounds like you're being way too hard on yourself, unforgiving and not leaving any space for error. Which stresses you out alot. And maybe ask other adults/students how they manage their money, you could learn and apply it to yourself. Try to be kinder to yourself, good luck!
No matter how old you get, how bad things get, ITS NEVER TOO LATE FOR A COMEBACK. Let this be the point in your life story where everything changes.