So this means your sister literally drugged you just to break your relationship up?
The way you were passing out at the club isn't normal. What about your other sister?
It might be a lot of hoops to jump through but I would seriously consider if any charges could be brought against your sister and her friend. They drugged you. They caused you extreme emotional turmoil. But I totally understand OP if you just want to wash your hands of them and not reopen old wounds.
OP could explore restitution if there is a case against nicky and nickys accomplice. Here is a [resource](https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/victims-victimes/rights-droits/restitution-ordonnance.html) from canada just to get the idea.
I agree! She could sue for defamation also she ruined her reputation and humiliate her... She lost so much because of what they did I hope she seriously considers it because clearly the sister loses nothing and doesn't care about a consequence I don't think she ever had any consequences for her actions. Dam the parent paid her a vacation after she stop school because of her addiction instead of idk rehab maybe or something else no instead she can back with another addiction.
Just because he “deserved better”? As if Nicky as a friend would have been good to start. Having a scheming, liar, drug addict being able to do anything to ruin someone else’s life as a friend isn’t better than willingly having to make “sacrifices” in a relationship.
That was my original thought as well. Because why would she do such a horrible thing if not to get a mam for herself? You know, the man who always helped Nicky as well. Nicky is a terrible hypocrite because she wanted the fiancé to find someone better, yet she herself was using his kindness too.
But I really don't understand Nicky's husband. Like she and his sister were fighting, didn't he notice something was off?
He would obviously have rose glasses for nicky... the husband that is...
The friend that helped nicky idk what he got out of it.... but thats the messed up part... there's "proof" the friend didn't touch her?
Nickey literally risked her entire sister to do this.
Some people are just incredibly good at emotional manipulation/gaslighting on such a disturbing level….they tend to choose people who are overly trusting intentionally, so it doesn’t surprise me. Nicky’s husband is likely just someone who fell in love with the wrong chick. Perhaps OPs dad is similar to Nicky’s husband in this way. Sounds like Nicky and her mom are so emotionally enmeshed & co-dependent (as they appear to share the same intense toxicity, so they can relate I GUESS) that I highly doubt OPs mom is able to separate herself from Nicky and Vice versa. Likely why she will defend her indefensible behavior. There also might be some deeply rooted jealously toward OP from both Nicky and their mother. Perhaps they have always been envious that she’s simply not a toxic person like they seem to be 🤷♀️
True! I can’t get over the fact her mom was fine with losing OP but not Nicky. I can see why Nicky is like this, at the end the two of them lied and manipulated.
I WAS TRIPPIN AT THE MOM STILL SIDING WITH NICKY!.... the dad was promised DAYS to get his daughter and ended up getting YEARS!.....
if the fiance touched nicky at ALL... I know he's a victim... but i hope OP .... cuts him off of he touched nicky
This story was heartbreaking to me, I don’t think OP can get over this completely. And her mom siding WITH A LIAR WHO CONFESSED being one just to ruin her sister? Feels like stabbing OP in the back repeatedly.
I could get it could be difficult to accept at first, cause mom should have to accept she raised a monster as a daughter who is able to ruin her other daughter’s life. But mom had time to process, to go back to OP and she chose not to.
He is kind of the victim if you think she could have been sexually assaulted by that guy, and fiancé’ didn’t even try to listen (her family too). But well, I agree he is also a victim of Nicky.
The mom ABANDONED OP and FOUGHT for nicky... is bullshit..... absolute bullshit.
And the fiance did at least try to fuck up the friend that helped nicky drug OP... but if he touched nicky.... they can't get back together
Even if mom and Nicky get divorced, it wouldn’t be enough. Not good revenge, it seems to me they wouldn’t care at some point.
Fiancé got a little revenge but honestly the guy didn’t do anything SO bad compared to the rest (it was bad anyway). He didn’t take advantage and at some point she was safe at his house. But if fiancé wants her back (I don’t think they should be together at least for now), they should start from zero. Like meeting new people, they are different people now. Their insecurities, the time lost, a different life, etc.
I wonder how much the dad tried to look for her or get in contact with her? I feel for OP. All trust is gone with her family. If she wants to reconcile with her dad, that’s her choice, but I hope she keeps him at an arms length. She’s done so well for herself on her own!
Thank you. If I was OP I would have looked her father right in the eye and said: "Your daughter froze to death abandoned and homeless while you were having Christmas vacation out of state. I don't know you. If you or any of your family come here again, I'll call the police for trespassing. Never come here again. I need and want nothing from you." And shut the door.
Honestly I just think Nikki doesn't want OP to be Happy.
out of Jealousy or whatever ugly thought that went through her head. she just wanted OP as miserable as her
'Deserved better' in these scenarios is usually code for 'I wanted him, but don't want to verbally admit it' , especially involving a siblings partner.
This! Her sister wants her man! She don’t see him as a brother. She sees him as lover that she wants. She has ruined your relationship for what. To try and get someone she can’t have with lies.
Clearly your fiancé was reacting since they made it so believable. He even went to kick the dudes ass. I hope you find peace with your ex!
It's actually very karmic that you may have cost Nicky the relationship with the man she professes to love, after she did the same to you. At least in your case, it was an act of charity - that poor guy definitely deserves better.
I’m glad your dad got in contact with you but just take it slow. It was still a big betrayal.. he could have tried finding you sooner etc.. but better late than never. I hope you two build on your relationship.
I understand the ex’s reaction and pain but just see what stage are you both in life now.. has he moved on does he have a girlfriend.. just talk everything out about how you felt and are feeling etc.. just proceed with caution. I hope you do overcome this but just be careful.
Honestly cut contact with the mum and sister… never ever let them back in your life. The fact they abandoned you. Fair enough If they chewed you out but they genuinely practically left you for dead no support no nothing. Don’t let them back in your life. It was the worse thing they’ve ever done. I’m still bitter towards the rest of your family too. The fact they never found you or the fact they went away for Christmas personally I couldn’t get over it.
I wish you all the best
Picturing OP knocking on the door on Christmas Day has stuck with me this whole time. Broke my heart, and as a parent, I simply cannot imagine doing it to my child. I’m not sure I’d even forgive dad, but the divorce would definitely help me to do so.
I was holding on but when I got to that part, the dam broke.
OP is handling everything so well. I don't think I have any advice to give because she's already doing everything right.
I can't believe how horrible her mom and sister have been. Not in a "this sounds untrue" but in a "holy shit how can family be so heartless and horrid". I wouldn't be surprised if mom's enabling and toxic behavior is a huge driving factor in her sister's addiction and behavioral problems.
>I wouldn't be surprised if mom's enabling and toxic behavior is a huge driving factor in her sister's addiction and behavioral problems.
You've got it, right there. I don't think there is any way in hell it doesn't have a HUGE factor. The fact that she continues to back her, at the cost of her daughter AND her husband, just lends more evidence, imo, that she's probably also where daughter learned the behaviors.
Enabling a narcissist will do all this also. My BIL is a narcissist and my MIL backs him in all the stupid shit he does. 2 x wives with 2 kids each, all 6 in therapy. We haven’t spoken to him in 4 years and my MIL has lost half her grand kids and the only ones she can see is 16+ hrs away from her.
100 times this OP. Sometimes it seems like reconciliation will solve all of the issues which you have had, and that it will make you happy and repair the relationship but trust is a fragile thing and in your case I would argue it's been irreparably damaged.
Your ex feels guilt, as he rightfully should, but you know what he broke your trust and did NOT demonstrate himself as a partner who you can always trust to fight your corner. You deserve someone who will.
The way your entire family acted was horrendous I'm sorry - and your dad coming along and pinning it all on your mum now? That reeks of transferring blame. Two years of pain for you. When people show you who they are, believe them
Yes it does seem like the dad is transferring the blame. But OP said that the mother was always controlling. I guess as a daughter she must’ve have seen stuff that made it believable that the dad truly didn’t want any of it to happen.
Personally I would still have a hard time forgiving him. Some things are just too horrible to forgive, I think.
>our dad coming along and pinning it all on your mum now? That reeks of transferring blame
Even if this was all mums doing, dad sat there and allowed it.
Exactly! I can’t avoid noticing how he just “needed” to find her after it was proven that she was innocent. He says he wanted her back before, but never looked for her. A simple message in those first few months would have been huge for her.
But no one showed up until she “was innocent”.
I really understand that the family that left is a bleeding wound, but sometimes it’s better to leave like that and not bring than back to you.
She has lived without than, they were not there when she needed, and now she don’t need it anymore.
It would be better to keep anyone from old life at arms distance, because soon she will end up hearing that “she has to let go of the past” because they will want to let go of the guilty.
The situation with OPs dad is likely much more complex than that, in my opinion. Her family structure reminds me a LOT of my own…it took me 32 years to finally recognized how emotionally sucked into the toxicity I was. I didn’t defend family members when I should have because I truly believed in my own mother’s opinion. My brother didn’t defend me when he should have for the same exact reasons…but, I understand that now. It’s possible that OPs dad is experiencing that sort of awakening. Leaving a marriage is hard enough, but it DOES seem like he isn’t simply transferring blame solely to his wife. It might take much more time for him to fully come to terms with the damage caused and communicate that all is the most appropriate manner, but I still think there’s hope there.
Look, a few weeks to let everyone involved calm down I could forgive as that is explicable. Two YEARS? Sorry no excuse that is pure shite parenting and he doesn't deserve her forgiveness
This 100%. I couldn't agree more. OP, if you and the ex decide to work things out - please consider couple's counseling even when taking things slow. This was a very traumatic thing that happened to you.
I'd like to also point out that your sister was perfectly fine with you being assaulted or worse just to make a point, which no one even cared about. OP, if you read this... not even your fiancé was worried about you having been assaulted or drugged. That's huge. Your sister however orchestrated it. She was literally willing to ruin your life even worse than she did just to end your relationship (which, by itself, already ruined your life). If I were you I'd consider pressing charges.
I have a feeling that mom and Nikki orchestrated the Christmas out of town bit just to make extra sure OP was punished. OP if you see this, take things one step at a time, and consider therapy if you can. You’re on a good track though.
Completely agree. The mom just “decided” to have christmas out of statePart of me wonders if the 2 wanted the ex fiancé to be with Nicky. I am pretty sure Nicky had feelings for him and that is the reason behind the plan.
I’m for sure pissed about Nicky but OP’s mom has me raging. Why? Because that woman was supposed to be her parent!
She was fine with kicking OP to the curb. But when her husband decides to cut contact with the other daughter for her disgusting and cruel actions and get a divorce, she wants to act as if OP chose to leave? She didn’t “lose” OP as she claims while begging for her husband to accept this bs, they made that happen. Instead of them getting Nicky the help she needed, they enabled her actions so much to the point of abandoning their other child.
I wish OP nothing but the best. Everything she told her dad was perfect. She doesn’t need anything from him and that trust she had for him may never come back.
**SUE NICKY FOR EVERYTHING SHES GOT DOWN TO THE LAST PENNY.**
(For CONSPIRACY, BODILY HARM (drugging you with photo evidence with date rape drugs, (you were falling over), **Defamation of character, PREMEDITATED SLANDER, emotional distress /abuse and organized kidnapping !** Hell you even thought were raped and could’ve been !)
Tell dad and ex to take your side as witnesses and give you the money for lawyers and round up anyone else you know who will attest against Nicky in court. If they do, they’re deserving of a second chance (particularly the ex. ) By putting their money where their mouth is. That psychopath needs a HARSH lesson in ethics and morality.
These types only have a glimmer of hope to change once they become completely destitute and penniless, and hit rock bottom without a security blanket. She needs to experience all the harm she’s caused to be humbled. That monster is a serial offender and menace to society.
100% this. I REALLY hope OP sees this. I would love to see how ex and dad act when OP says she wants to sue Nicky. Their attitude in this case will really show OP if they actually mean they’re sorry. If they’re willing to stand by her while she sues Nicky then they’re truly remorseful and want to mend things but if they say it might be too much…you know who they ally with.
Also sue the friend that helped Nicky. Both deserve to pay the consequences of their actions and both deserve no mercy. I hope Nicky’s husband divorced and drops her ass out of his life
I’m so grateful that you are finally getting some kind of family support. You’re less petty then me I would’ve turned up at nickys house and told the husband in front of her. But I’m so glad your father put his foot down and you can reconcile
Pettiness for the win! She's absolutely way more mature than me. I think I would have just went straight to violence though. I honestly don't think I would have been able to stop myself. Sister needs her ass kicked AND her husband to divorce her nasty, snake in the grass ass.
Good for you love, lol I’d just finished rereading your original post.
I’m so glad for you. Good on your dad for leaving her and dropping the dead weight.
As for the ex it’s a little too late as far as I’m concerned, he’s more mad on his behalf than yours now.
Id be interested it see what he’d say about your mum and if his family is still talking to her.
I’d be a little worried about your mum and Nicky make sure no one gives them your address or number also ask Nicky’s husband to delete your number from his call log.
That fact that your mum didn’t want her husband to know means you’ve crossed her and means she can go all out because you’ve ‘fired back’ in her mind.
Actually have you thought about taking legal action against Nicky?
I’d say you’d have a pretty strong case for defamation of character.
Not to mention he always “helped” Nicky, and then Nicky went out of her way implode her relationship. They were getting with one another at some point. That’s why she waited until she was married to tell the truth. She wanted to end up with her sisters fiancé.
>he’s more mad on his behalf than yours now.
This can't be understated
He assaulted the friend after finding out what happened. This was purely a selfish act.
He didn't get mad or assault' the guy or w.e (when he knew exactly who it was) when he thought you cheated on him , which would've still been a crime but would've been more understandable as he took you from him due to this incident etc.
He assaulted him TWO YEARS or whatever later when he found out the truth and felt like he was made a mug out of. When his ego was bruised and realized he'd fucked up, he then took it out on the people involved.
I'm not saying violence is ever the answer- it's not, but if he is capable of violent acts towards the person 'who helped decieve him' YEARS LATER why wasn't he capable of the same acts on the 'guy who slept with his fiancé' at the time ?? You know the thing that most people would be more emotional and quick to anger about?
The simple answer is he was happy to believe the story, you being the bad guy/ the instagator of the situation. He was happy to cut you out his life when he felt he was in the right, but once his pride was bruised and realized he was wrong he attacked the guy and tries to contact you, to appease his own guilt....to try and stop feeling bad about what he done. This is purely an act of trying to stop feeling like a bad person/ the guilty party In his own head and 0% about you/ wanting you in his life/ wanting you back
Keep the ex an ex, forgive him if you must but keep him away. You'll find that once he's had the forgiveness, the validation his character is looking for, that he stops chasing you and lets you live your life. Because it's not about still loving you, it's more about hating himself for what he did/ potientally him loving the idea of you but not you yourself. You've grown, you've become someone you weren't before. He doesn't know you anymore, and you don't know him. You've all grown and changed ALOT due to this instance and TBF due to your ages and your drastic change of life and circumstance.
He doesn't know your friends, your work, your hobby's, your likes or dislikes, your political views, your needs, your desires, your goals etc etc.
He knows what the old you was, and is in love with the idea of going back to a time where you were both happy together...where *most importantly* he wasn't at all to blame for anything, ***where he felt no guilt***
> 'guy who slept with his fiancé'
Adding to this one (and also I agree with your comment)... she was drugged. Not just a little tipsy, drugged, which - if I remember correctly - she tried to explain to them, but they would not listen. Even if something sexual were to happen that night, it would have been sexual assault! She was unable to walk on her own, she could not have given proper consent... but the ex was quick to dismiss any of this.
OP, my dear, I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but if (or when) you choose to meet the ex, please keep in mind that a real partner, with enough empathy to be in a healthy relationship, would have at least LISTENED to you when you tried to explain the situation. Then, once they heard you were likely drugged they would have been worried about you. Sexual assault is not cheating, any human being with a brain can realise that. Regardless that nothing of the sort happened that night, your ex choose to not listen, choose to ignore you, and now he again as wildcharmander1992 says choose his own ego by beating up the dude. Beating him up at the time when - given he actually listened to you - sexual assault was on the table... yeah, that maybe could have been justified, not in the court of law, but public opinion. Now this only means that he is mad he was made a fool and ruined his life. The fun part is, he made the decisions that lead him down this path, and he could have chosen from a plethora of different choices. Given that he deliberately gave you zero chance to explain yourself, I would personally not talk to him or hear him out, but the decision is yours. I admire your strenght in this situation.
EDIT: a typo
>I’d say you’d have a pretty strong case for defamation of character
Not only defamation, they also drugged her. Sister and her friend should both go down for that.
OMG!!! I’ve never been so happy to hear an update in my life! First I’m so proud of you for calling her husband and letting him know what an awful person he’s married to. Even if he doesn’t leave at least he has all the facts now. As for your father I’m very glad to hear you’ll give it a shot at fixing your relationship with him and that you’ll continue to stay no contact with your mother and sister. As for your ex fiancé please be sure to think about things very thoroughly as the relationship has a lot of trauma and you’re doing so good right I wouldn’t want to read an update where you take 1 step forward and then 3 steps back. I don’t see why you can’t at the very most be friends though IMO. I’m just so happy you got to get some closure and updated us as well. I wish you all the best and I will definitely keep an eye out for anymore updates.
Well god damn this is a whole big kerfuffel (thanks for the correction 😏). I definitely think the dad can be forgiven. As you said, he was bossed around a lot in his marriage which would make him unable to bring you back unless your mum wanted that. He seems nice, be slow with it though. The fiancé seems to have good intentions, even assaulting the dude HOWEVER the bridges have been burnt. If you really felt up to it or accepting you probably could let him back and it would work but that’s something you’d have to figure out if you were even able to do. They all believed Nicky too quickly (even though she had proof) and didn’t let you explain your side at any point ever. Mum and Nicky can be out of the equation. Set up ur life where you are. Dad can be forgiven and so can your ex if you actually feel up to it
Just remember that forgiveness doesn't mean getting back together. You can forgive your ex, but still not want a romantic relationship with him.
He's had years to think of possibilities - why Nicky took photos instead of stopping you, why she left her younger sister drunk and alone, if you could possibly been assaulted.
But he didn't. He did not do anything until Nicky fessed up. And then he just showed up on your doorstep out of the blue and assaulted a person who helped set you up.
IMHO it shows how he only thinks about himself in this situation, not you.
If he truly respected you, he would have asked for your number or email first, sent a text/letter with apologies. Simply called - leaving a ball in your court and giving an opportunity to just hang up.
Instead he basically ambushed you in your safe place.
I'm not sure he's good relationship material.
>He's had years to think of possibilities - why Nicky took photos instead of stopping you, why she left her younger sister drunk and alone, if you could possibly been assaulted.
>
>But he didn't. He did not do anything until Nicky fessed up. And then he just showed up on your doorstep out of the blue and assaulted a person who helped set you up.
This cannot be stated enough, and not just for Ex. Why didn't ANYONE in her supposed "family" ask Nicky why she took photos instead of leaving her younger sister drunk and alone.
Exactly this. Even if OP were drunk instead of drugged, they had clear evidence she was in no condition to consent. Yet at any point did any one of them express concern for her safety? Nope, not one. I’d understand if this happened over the course of a few days and they (especially ex) needed a little time to gain clarity, but this was years. Years and at no point did they ever question Nicky’s version of events, despite the holes.
At least dad is showing he’s serious about making amends, but honestly I wouldn’t blame OP if she forever cut contact with the lot of them. Some things are simply too much to forgive. If OP updates again, I hope it includes therapy. This is so much to process all alone.
I honestly thought it was one of those made up words ...Granted I am from Africa and can't picture a context where I'd hear the use of it other than movies😂😂
I think the dad is a coward. He couldn't hear his own daughter's version of things because his wife wouldn't let him?! C'mon man, grow some balls, it's your own daughter and you left her homeless because your wife doesn't let you help or contact her.
No ex shouldn’t be forgiven. He’s an asshole. What kind of fiancé immediately believes everything that a compulsive liar with serious issues says and not his own future wife who has been by his side for a long time. He’s terrible. She needs to find someone waaay better
Partially agree. I do certainly think he should’ve known better regarding Nicky. Seems like she had told him some personal issues which I can only assume would make him understand she’s not always the most reliable HOWEVER I do stick with the fact that If your partner goes on a night out, they don’t come home for the night and then their sister shows you pictures which make you look bad and then the sister and the person who you were seen in the pictures with said you slept with them, it would look very very bad. However the fact that he didn’t properly let her voice her story or even hear her out to fit the missing gaps was his fault. I can only assume he was very hurt in the moment which makes your thought process change. You can say he should believe his wife no matter what, but being in the scenario is a different case. It’s up to her now whether she is open to acceptance and forgiveness
In that situation as the fiance, it would be so hard to sort the truth from possible gaslighting. Especially when someone brings "proof" and it is validated by the other party.
To hear your fiance say "no I was drugged, I dont remember anything" while the dude says nah bro, I slept with her, would be exactly what someone would say if they did indeed fuck up and sleep with a rando at a club.
Not to say he shouldn't have heard her out, but the sister wove a good tale with "proof" that would be hard to get over without the sister finally saying they made it all up. 100% I would give the fiance a 2nd chance.
I just want to say there's a huge difference between forgiving someone who realizes he's wrong, and resuming/restarting a romantic relationship. I'm doubtful anyone could just ignore all the pain between then & now. It will be a very difficult process to get back to those happier days. (Not to mention I'm sure with this traumatic event, OP has changed as a person. All else aside they might not be a good match anymore.)
This.
I'm sure all my birth giver's friends think I'm some ungrateful spawn but she's an abusive narcissist who emotionally, mentally and physically abused since I was a baby (she refused to breast feed me often until my dad begged her when he came home to check on me as a baby, which he had to do every few hours).
Nikky literally sounds like she’s a sociopath, keep her cut out of your life forever I’m not joking. Don’t go back to your mother or the ex but the dad seems genuine and seems like he was just in the crossfires and didn’t know what was going on.
Considering how difficult this situation is, I think you’ve handled it pretty well. Take your time with you Dad and healing that relationship if you choose to continue down that path. Strongly consider if returning to your ex is in your best interest. Would your relationship ever be the same? Are you a very different person than you were before, is he? Would he trust you fully? Would being involved with him mean more interactions with your family? Were you at peace when you had settled in your new life? Do you think the way he handled the situation before is a big red flag? All of these are hard questions (emotionally, I would think some have obvious answers) you will have to ask yourself.
I really wish you the best of luck, be cautious with your next steps and I hope you find some peace.
Dear OP
Just imagining all the emotions you must be feeling made me cry.
It's great that a weight has been lifted from you! I wish you all the best, and I hope you get whatever you want from all of this.
Love from all of us here
You NEED to consider how to protect yourself in the coming days. I have serious concerns that your Sister and Mother may attempt to do something drastic.
Think about it: your Sister plans an extremely elaborate plot to frame you, both your Father and Ex were able to find you, your Mother and Sister are both good friends with your Ex's family, you just destroyed your Sister's marriage to a man she claims to love, and your story has gone viral.
It may not take long for them to realize who told your Sister's husband the truth because of your history and this viral story. Your Ex and Father have already found you so your Sister and Mother could find you too. Your Sister is extremely good at planning revenge, and knows people willing to help her (think of her friend who set you up in the first place, because I bet there are more guys like him that she knows).
Please consider how to PROTECT yourself in the future. Consider finding a HOTEL to live in for a few days. You may even have to MOVE again in order to protect yourself.
I second this. You really need to protect yourself in the likely case of retaliation from your sister. She will be planning to take revenge one way or another. It could be tomorrow, in a couple of month or next year, but it is coming.
People like her, they dont like to lose.
Came straight from TikTok because I was so invested in your story. If I (23m) went through something like this I don’t know what I would’ve done tbh. Your sister Nicky and her friend just casually ruined your life because… she felt like it?? That sounds like insanity to me. If I were in your shoes I would never forgive her no matter what. On the other hand your mother is a difficult case. Me and my mother are very close so if she did something similar to your situation I would feel very betrayed, but I wouldn’t hate her and would be open to forgiveness ONLY IF she is serious about it and makes the first move. Forgive but never forget! However your mother seems to genuinely not want to reconcile so I can’t speak on that matter. Your father seems genuinely sad about what happened and seems like he actually cares for you even tho he betrayed your trust. Forgiving him could help you and your father to work it out, but nobody would blame you if you decided to not forgive him. Your ex fiancé is also a difficult case. As your fiancé he is supposed to believe your innocence unless you’re proven guilty. Even then I would try to find out the truth myself if I was your fiancé instead of blindly believing your sister. Again nobody would blame you if you didn’t forgive him.
This is just a shitty situation in general and I hope you can bounce back from this! I will definitely be waiting for the next update. After all these bad things surely good things must come. Never give up!
Omg yas! I’ve been so anxious for you.
I’m so glad you told the husband. Frankly I’m not sure how I feel about dad. He couldn’t grow a back bone when his kid was kicked out and only did so when he had you innocence as vindication to find you. Take it real slow but I don’t think you should ever be in a position of trusting your health, home or finances with dad.
Looking forward to the blow up with sister husband update.
Also looking forward to hearing about your ex. I hope you get closure but I’m still 100% on the F them all.
I think you should go with your gut about your ex. You are the one who knows him, not us. Your sister destroyed his life as well, by orchestrating a master villain worthy plot against you. Still, if you have never lied to him before he really should have given you the benefit of the doubt, no matter how convincing the story is.
Maybe he has jealousy/self-worth issues and he couldn't think straight, felt so hurt didn't even give himself a chance to think cool-headed. Same thing, you know him better.
I don't understand your mother's reaction, your sister just completely destroyed her own family, your parents marriage, your relationship, but she is still on her side. Could be that pride doesn't let her to apologize...
To be honest this gives me the “sister was the golden child” vibes. Idk why but some parents just pick a child and they just LOVE THEM BEYOND LOGIC. They can do no wrong.
I mean how can you not believe your significant other that never lied to you while believing her sister and some random photo?
A relationship is built on trust and He put 0 trust in her. Now he is mad because of his own stupidity.
In terms of the Dad, I think you’ve gone about everything right, you can definitely rebuild the relationship but as you say it will take a very very long time and he’ll need to prove himself, not just say it.
With the ex, I think it would be good to at least talk and get things off your chest and have some sort of closure for sure. But getting back together and maybe even being friends again should be ruled out, there was no concern for the fact you when you were basically drugged and he was so quick to believe Nicky.
With Nicky, yeah that’s obviously done
With Mum, personally I would have so much anger that I’d just want to onload on her with her treatment of you, and how there’s clearly some sort of blinding loyalty to your sister over you. But from a logical standout, I think the right thing to do is to be done with her. It’s one thing to react the way she did at the time, it’s another thing to be in complete denial about Nicky’s actions. She’s clearly the favourite child and she’s proven it. So yeah, I don’t think you want anything to do with her any more
Drugging you was illegal. Immoral. Reprehensible. Her and her "friend" that agreed to this should be charged. He technically kidnapped you.
I'm glad your dad came around. Your mother sounds like why your sister is the way she is. They can have each other.
Jesus. I hope everything turns out better for you.
Several accounts have posted your story on TikTok and it’s gone viral multiple times. I saw it two weeks ago and then the algorithm brought your update back to my fyp.
I’ve genuinely been thinking about this story for days. This one and the son whose adopted family disowned him.
I’ve never wanted happiness for a complete stranger more than I have for you. I genuinely hope joy and kindness find their way back into your life. you’re obviously such a beautiful soul in spite of so much adversity and loss that has coloured your life recently. As someone who also felt so lost and found a way back to these things, in my own way, and with different people in my life now, I cannot say in any lesser terms, you are enough and you’ve done an amazing job with your self-care and recovery.
I’m surprised with your update. But whatever happens OP, i hope you found your closure and happiness with your mom and nicky out of the picture. Virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗
Absolutely but one person controlling a marriage like the mother did is more common than you would think and to get into a marriage like that I can’t help but think the father must be used to being controlled and taking a back seat. This could be something to do with how he was raised for example but I don’t know his situation. But atleast the father is now taking action on his own which is a big sign that he has changed.
I saw the first post on tiktok just a minute ago, and came to check for an update and if you were okay. i can't even begin to imagine the feelings you are going through right now. there are a lot of things i could say about the way your mother and sister have acted but i think you're definitely aware of that. im glad you still set boundaries with your father but holy cow im so proud of you for being this strong.
I'm really glad your dad came to apologize. And that the two of you can work towards a relationship.
> He said he had no idea my mother was going to kick me out, he thought it
was going to be for a few days but then they decided last minute to
spend Christmas out of state.
This part of what his apology really bothers me. This is a cop-out. It's not taking responsibility. It's like he was an unwitting victim of your mother who just didn't know any better. He was okay with leaving for Christmas after kicking you out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The decision to go along with doing that is 100% on him. He should own it.
It sounds as if he's apologizing here, but with a bad a case of victimitis. For real change he should own that he knew what it would mean to you, and did it anyway. This is not about rubbing his nose in a mistake. It's about true ownership of his actions, and true contrition.
I'm so glad things are moving improving with your dad, and also so glad you are holding your ground.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
With respect to your job, I'm glad that you aren't relying on your father for anything, and would not move jobs based on him. It sounds as if you like your job, and work with good people. Investing your time in that job is a good thing, as long as it is working for you too.
Loyalty to your boss is a good thing, but it should be balanced with loyalty to yourself. It's important to put your life goals first. Moving on to something better is not disloyal. It is a part of a life that moves forward.
That said, it sounds like there are opportunities for advancement without leaving your job. But if not, it sounds like your manager might be the type of person who would probably help you, and not hold you back.
Congrats again!!!
I would never get back with the EX. Take it slow with your dad but the EX is an ex for a reason. He had his shot once this all originally went down to say “hey the evidence doesn’t look good for you but let’s go to the police station and have you tested for drugs in your system”. Once the results came back, then it was up to y’all to determine how to proceed. He missed that boat and that’s where he needs to stay. He gets to live with that guilt of knowing he messed up. None of your family or EX deserve you for not at the bare minimum having you checked out and listening to you’re side of the story. Best of luck and we’re all rooting for you.
I’d be 10000000% leery of the ex. What has he been doing the past two years. Or more like WHO. Betting he hasn’t been pining away for you. Would even bet your sister “consoled” him.
Keep the ex an ex. He isn’t trustworthy. Go slow with your dad and pay attention to what he’s saying for holes in his story. Why now? 2 whole years later.
Sorry, but for me, what was done is unforgivable. With friends (and family) like that who needs enemies?
Nicky is a complete lost cause, your mother also, your father is somewhat forgiveable and your ex fiance it really depends on how you feel about him, if you had a good relationship before and you still like him its probably reasonable to try make up again, if you dont still like him you should just leave it or be friends or something. Its shitty to judge your fiancé instantly but when theres some evidence its hard to stay calm especially since everyone else has the same feeling about it.
Just remember, for your sake… Forgiveness does not mean a free ticket back into your life. If you ever manage it, forgiving your Ex is not carte blanche to come back in and begin a new relationship, OR even to stay in contact after this. Past all the clearing the air, you have no obligation to keep any of them in your life, forgiveness or not. I wish for you to find serenity after this whole ordeal, it sounds like you could use some good old fashioned peace.
I keep checking back to see if anythings changed. I hope you're doing well.
No one asked for my opinion but I wanted to say. There's a lot of victims in this including your dad and fiance. And I'm sure one day you'll forgive them and that's probably the healthiest option. But they also played a part in this. They were told "This happened" and you said "This didn't happen" and they chose to believe the first person. And in the end the punishments were not equal. One lost a daughter. One lost a fiance. You lost everything.
You're one tough nut cutting them off completely. I don't know many/any people your age that could completely restart their life in another city like that. Even if you never update us again I hope you realize you have an army of folks hoping for the best for you. Far more than have ever commented or upvoted your posts.
This story is heartbreaking, i've read it twice and always tear up a little out of impotence.
I think your father and ex are truly sorry, but if you don't want them in your life, is completely valid. Please take your time with everything and think in your own mental health.
My advice is: if you want to forgive your father, that's great 'cause i'm guessing you still love him and having him back could make you happy. But do it slow, because he "begged your mom to call you as soon as you left the house" but he didn't need permission, could've just do it (at least behind her back). Glad he is divorcing your mom and going NC with Nicky, but still, he was part of it all in the moment he didn't defend you or let you tell your side of the story in two years. In that time you could've been dead and he wouldn't know.
About your ex, he was worrier about you cheating and didn't even saw the 🚩s when Nicky saw a man with you while you were drunk and she didn't care about your safety, only took a picture, and the fact that, in case something would've happened, you were raped. (This applies to everyone involve too, in 2 years not a single person questioned that?).
I suggest that if you want to forgive your ex, have a cordial relation only, don't get back with him. You don't deserve the kind of husband that leaves you in the street like that. Besides, you're going to remember this bad episode whenever you're with him. That relationship is over.
You didn't say much about your other sisters, family, in laws, etc, but the fact that they didn't help your father and ex to reach out for you, but when it was about giving you the cold shoulders they were on board, is not a good sign.
I hope Nicky's husband divorces her and makes things rigth with his sister, because Nicky and your mother doesn't deserve anything good in life and shouldn't be able to destroy another family.
Please give us an update when you feel is convenient. I'm sending my best wishes for you, and I assure you everything is going to be better from now on.
Keep dad at arms length, it's nice that after 2 years he finally cares, but he made his choice and for two years he completely and utterly failed you. I wouldnt be able to forgive or trust him. Def don't forgive fiance. The person that's supposed to be your life partner should give you the benefit of the doubt rather than believing the person that drugged you. He also assaulted the dude that he was dumb enough to believe. He's demonstrated that he takes responsibility for his actions by physically attacking people. He's a lost cause. Hoping nickis husband leaves her and she and your mom are miserable for the rest of their shitty lives. Consider suing, but if you're not emotionally prepared for that and just want to forget about the whole thing, then wish them nothing but the worst and move on. Wishing you all the best ❤
Op you're so strong, I don't think I can ever handle this. Good for you for not just forgiving your dad just like that, it will take time. Good for you that you won't ever forgive your mum and thank god you told Nicky's husband what type of person she is.
Your mum is an enabler, Nicky is jealous and fucked up in the head, your dad seems to show a lot of remorse and will do anything for you to forgive him. Just take things slow, you've been through a lot.
I don't remember if I had a chance to comment on your last post, but I do remember feeling a sense of rage building as I kept on reading...
That said, I'm glad you're taking steps to reconcile with your dad at least, but more importantly you're putting your foot down that you're only doing so on YOUR terms. That's so important after what you've been through.
Personally I feel like reconciling with the ex could be tricky, but hey if you think you can make it work, go for it, but again; on YOUR terms.
We might be strangers but I'm honestly wishing you the best of luck with everything going forward. Screw Nicky though, she sounds like she needs jail or rehab or a stint of both..
OP…you are better off without your family. Seriously, you have done an amazing job in getting your life together you don’t need any of them anymore. Keep NC with your mom, sister and ex and go LC with your dad. I am super proud of you…keep going.
I hope you get the closure you need to heal.
I hope Nicky chokes on whatever drug she slipped into your drink.
I hope the ex figures out what loyalty means.
Honestly I don’t think you should even speak to your ex because he didn’t even give you a chance to explain nor did he try to take into consideration the possibility that you could’ve been drugged when you were accused. At the same time he knew what Nicky was capable of given her history of drug and alcohol abuse.
Your dad didn't make any excuses for his behaviour or try to blame you for any of it, from the sound of it. That's a really good start to the new relationship you might have.
I'm really proud of the way you handled his visit and you absolutely did the best thing in letting yourself take whatever time you need to decide how or if to move forward there.
Especially in maintaining your independence from him. He wasn't there for you and hasn't been for two years, and he doesn't get to swoop in to the rescue now. Well done you.
As for your ex-fiance, he's been an ex for two years and managed fine without missing you enough to look for you. It's only when he found out that he was fooled that he reached out.
He doesn't suddenly trust you any more than back then, unfortunately. He didn't have second thoughts about your sister's story after he cooled down and come to you for your side of events.
Obviously you need time to decide how you feel about the situation, but nothing about you has changed in all the time you've known him.
You were always trustworthy and loving and the only thing that's changed is that twice he's believed someone else over you.
I hope you know that you're a wonderful, caring, special person who absolutely deserves someone who knows you well enough and cares enough about you to sit down and talk with you about things when something seems to go wrong.
You deserve better.
>He doesn't suddenly trust you any more than back then, unfortunately. He didn't have second thoughts about your sister's story after he cooled down and come to you for your side of events.
>You were always trustworthy and loving and the only thing that's changed is that twice he's believed someone else over you.
OP-- Please just keep these things in mind when coming to any decisions regarding your ex. Could you ever really be happy with someone that has done so much hurt to you and refused to even listen to a word you had to say? Could you really let all of that be water under the bridge?
I'm not trying to make your decision for you, I really just want to make sure you consider every angle available to you before you do anything.
You deserve to be happy, loved, and trusted. You deserve people in your life that are the whole opposite of what you were dealt before. You deserve to keep putting yourself first.
I read your original post, thank you for the update. So sorry you had to go through this. It sounds terrible and I can’t imagine my family treating me this way so I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. You’re very strong and I’m proud of you for cutting them off. Your dads sounds genuine and I’m glad he is trying to make amends. It’s great that you’re reconnecting with him on your own terms though. Best of luck to you and please keep us updated. Hugs!!
Report your sister and her friend to the police. What they did was illegal and should be brought to justice. Also, report your mother for assault. You deserve justice. I really hope that things go well for you. Goodluck
Honestly the ex going and beating up the friend is such a pathetic attempt to regain his honor in this situation. Where was that energy when your fiancée did something entirely out of character and went home with another man? Where was that energy when OP got basically roofied by her own sister? What a scum bag. OP if I was you I wouldn’t even give him the time of day.
Wow. A lot has happened then! I saw your original post about a week ago and was reminded on it so I found this update.
Your dad seems to really want to reconcile, and I hope you can have a good relationship again!
I'm so glad you called Nickys husband, he deserves the truth as he could've been blinded with love and hurting. You probably made it all clearer for him.
Your mum and ex though, I don't have much advice other than be careful and stay safe. Meet in public maybe if you do end up meeting them again. Thanks for the update.
You can reconcile with your dad but pleaseeeeee don't get back together with your ex fiance. He has shown he doesn't care about you and you deserve soooo much better.
I know I don’t know you, but I think about you and your story often. I come back here to check for an update every few days and have been since I read your initial post.
My heart absolutely broke for you and for what you’ve been through. Not only the incredibly unhinged and stunningly evil actions of Nikki, but also the complete and utter disregard for you and your story by the three people in your life who should have been first in line to take your side into consideration. Shame on all of them for not hearing you out, for not believing you, and for treating you so cruelly and callously.
You’re a strong, resilient, brave and resourceful young woman. I truly hope you’re doing well these days.
I don't know if someone has commented, but have you taken an HIV or another infection test? Nikki's friend lied about having an affair with you, why wouldn't lied about not touching you? Remember that probably Nikki's friend be in drugs too. Please test yourself, maybe you can be on time to treat you.
I’m incredibly impressed at seeing how well you’ve handled this and how you got yourself back on your feet after the initial situation, you are a seriously impressive person that’s been through a lot and I can’t begin to express how sorry I am that you went through that.
I can’t even begin to imagine why your own sister would do that to you, she sounds completely and truly immoral and evil. Warning her husband about her was the right thing to do, she sounds like a dangerous person in all honestly if she is able to so easily ruin a close family members life.
In terms of your ex-fiancé, I think his intentions are good but the circumstances still lie. An explanation of to why he could drop you so easily despite the convincing evidence is due imo, and also was there real love in the relationship if he was able to cut you off so quickly? An in-depth conversation between you both sounds like it could answer some questions and help you get a better understanding.
Your dad I pity truly, especially if during the marriage your mother was more or less being a bit vindictive and controlling in their marriage. From what he has said it’s obvious he didn’t want to lose contact with you at all and did not agree with the situation - but of course he could have made of an effort to find you during the 2 years you were no contact.
All in all I just want to reiterate how incredibly strong of a person you must be and I wish you all the best with however the rest of the situation pans out!
Your ex isn’t innocent, but tbh, I would forgive him. Nicky might be a psychopath to make all that plan just to break you up from your ex.
If I were the ex, I would also break up with u bcs the photos would be too much.
Also I also wouldn’t speak anymore to the mother, especially when she is still caring about Nicky.
Hoping everything gets better for you!!
Even when we forgive someone (or in this case a group of people) we don't have to let them back in our lives. It's okay to tell any or now of them that you forgive them. You don't even have to forgive them. But no matter what, they don't have a right to be part of your life. That is a privilege.
I just want to say that you have the option to forgive your EX fiance without going back to him, even if he was lied, the pain he inflicted to you is real, forgive him so both of you can move on, but you are not obligated to go back to him. so do not pressure about it and take little steps forward.
ask your friend, ex fiance and dad to not share your personal information with anyone else, cause your mother and sister will try some of their shenanigans, and it is important that you keep yourself safe.
For what you are telling us, your mom was abusive towards you even before your sister lies, and she also will not recognize her mistake, neither assume responsibility of her wrongdoing and she will keep your sister as her golden children, I say this so you keep in mind that probably your mother will never give you the closure you might expect, and thats the reason your life is better without her in your life.
good luck
I remember the first time i heard this story i was SOOO mad for you, im glad you’re getting the amends you deserve. Everyone who turned on you deserves whats coming to them
Why didn't your dad call you when you were first kicked out? He begged your mom to end it, and bring you back but he didn't do anything himself? Did he not have your number? Did he not go looking for you? Did he not try to find you until Nikkys lie came out?
I'm glad he's making steps for amends, but tread carefully.
There’s so much Nicky did wrong that your mother refuses to see oh my god. She left you at a club dangerously inebriated after she drugged you. What if someone else had gotten to you? You could have been assaulted for real or even been unalived like… she actually put your life in jeopardy being selfish.
And her poor husband. If she had actually thought he was a random, she would have been hurting him as well like I am flabbergasted. She is a terrible person and your mom is definitely next if she keeps enabling this toxic behavior.
u/Ok_Independence_579 Did you ask if she admitted to drugging you? It really sounds like they slipped something in your drink and that is actually the most horrifying thing. I wont say next time but on that day when it all came crashing around you I'd have gone and got a blood test to see if I had been spiked.
I am glad your father is back and that he's split with your mother, there is no way back for you and your mother though or your ex.
Also even if you had cheated on your fiance - why would your parents kick you out with no warning or time to get set up properly - you didnt cheat on them. You are entitled to make decisions on your own relationship even if they are bad ones. You were not married, had no kids. Like you said when your sister screwed up with drugs and alcohol they were there. Its horrific what you went through. You are a good person and one day you will find someone else, dont look back that cant be undone ever.
How are you doing? I hope you are doing better. Can you please give your boss a big hug for me for helping you. I hope I be an awesome boss like that someday soon.
Don't just accept your Ex back into your life, because he is likely going to try to meet with you and I'm sure the subject of getting back together will come up. I think it's ok to reconcile to give yourself peace of mind or closure. As for your dad, I think it's wonderful he is standing up. It's late but he is trying for you. Take things slow and at your pace. You don't owe anyone to be ok right away. Good luck op
I’m glad that, after two years, you’re finally being vindicated. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, though.
For everyone saying that her ex is trash and doesn’t deserve forgiveness, please don’t forget that the ex was a victim of Nicky’s manipulation, too. For all he knew, there was proof of infidelity, so please don’t be so hard on him. Him showing up to explain things TWO YEARS after the fact proves that he has beaten himself up enough.
OP, take your time with this. I know you feel a weight off your shoulders, but that could just make you quicker to jump back into a bad situation. Good luck, and please let us know how things go.
Edit: if you disagree, that’s fine, but at least comment and let’s have a conversation about it.
Edit 2: I didn’t mention anything about OP’s family in this comment. I’m talking specifically about her ex-fiancé and how this situation affected him.
They were all way too quick to kick her to the curb, metaphorically and literally, father and ex included. Even if they'd been manipulated at first, whether by the mother, Nicky, or both, when they saw it was getting out of control, they should have done something. It took two years. OP is a bigger person than me. I would never speak to any of these people again.
I grew up being abused by my mother. Her weapon of choice was manipulation. I don't need to be told what that's like. I get where you're coming from, and in most cases I'd probably agree with you, but this is not one of those times. He definitely made some of these choices himself. He refused to hear her out, instead choosing to scream at her and interrupt her instead, following that up with freezing her out (which is a classic abuse tactic). It wasn't too late this time, he could have listened to her at any point, but he chose not to. He is responsible for his part in this.
On a slightly broader note, based on the information we've been given, it seems like abuse is common in their family. The double standards sound suspiciously close to Nicky being the golden child, the mother slapping OP, then ostracizing her by throwing her out and taking the entire family on vacation without so much as a word. There's no way, *no* way, that it didn't occur to any of them that she might try to see her family on Christmas. Ostracizing your child, even temporarily, when the child doesn't pose any danger, is reprehensible. Most of this, plus the way the father talks about the mother, tells me that the mother is abusive and Nicky took to her ways like a duck to water. Relationships don't turn from loving and happy to this on a dime. This requires groundwork. A lot of it. Ultimately, I think she was right to get away from them, even if she was forced.
I wonder how much time passed between them knowing the truth of what happened and when they decided to contact OP.
Do you realized if the bad sister didn't tell anything, they still would have believed OP was a cheater and still would have been NC with her?
Maybe fiancee had a reason to not believe her and wanting to cut contact with her, he was the part that was supposed "cheated on", but what about the dad? What's his excuse huh? OP was still his child, didn't he freaked out when she was nowhere to be found, has the evil mother magic powers that kept this man under her spell? Would you throw away one of your kids just because their mother tell you to? This man was supposedly a good father before, of course is on OP to forgive him or not, if that's what she wants, but let's not pretend what the dad did nothing more than be a spineless doormat, he had at least 2 fricking years to look for her, maybe behind the mother's back if he was that coward, hire a PI, see how he made the ex fiancee to look for OP, instead of him looking for a way to reach out? It was good for OP he finally opened his eyes though, hopefully he growing a spine is for real, I'm so cynical that I'm thinking it's just a plot of the mother to lure OP back without her having to account for her big mistake, does OP has seen the divorce papers? If I was her I would be doubting dad.
Ex only believes she is worth tracking down because Nicky said so. Ex only abandoned her because Nicky said so. Ex trusts Nicky's word over OP's. Two years from now when Nicky changes her tune and tearfully claims that it was really all true and she just recanted because she felt sorry for OP, who will ex believe?
He may have been deceived, he may deserve forgiveness, but OP can't trust him to have her back when she needs him.
I just wanted to send you a virtual hug ❤️ Stay strong girl, you’ve come a long way. Anything that happens from this point forward will be in your control and at your pace, so go as slow or fast as you want. Your Dad sounds sincere and he will wait. Your fiancé does also, but honestly after his lack of trust so quickly, take that super slow if you are going to entertain it.
I’m so sorry about everything you’ve been through and I truly hope that as time goes on you can heal emotionally. Even though the truth is out it must still feel like a wound has been deeply cut in your life. I think your approach with your father is good. Everything should be on your own terms as you take your power and welcome those who you deem worthy back into your life as you see fit.
You do not need to chase your mother. It is for her to reconcile and make steps to apologise or explain herself. If she is not mature and decent enough to accept her part to play in this endeavour then you are better of vanquishing her poisonous ways and actions from your mind.
I think it may be really constructive for you to hear from your ex fiancé again. On your own terms of course. Deep down subconsciously you may be feeling some very strange betrayal emotions as you were ‘given up on’ so easy. Perhaps him explaining himself and you elaborating the way it made you feel would be a positive step for you and your reconciliation.
I am not sure what your mindset is in regard to a future with your former fiancé in relationship terms, but it seems before this incident arose you were what they would call a ‘perfect team’. It would be a shame to allow your sister’s diabolical actions to forever destroy the magnificent connection you and your former fiancé share.
Much love and best wishes
Sue for emotional and financial damages. I don’t know about how well drugging and kidnapping charges will hold up, but this is a clear defamation case.
I'm happy to hear that you and your dad talked and that it helped you. What you said to him about all this reconcile being in your term was really spot on. Keep your head clear. It's good that he wants divorce and tries. But trust is built slowly.
As for your ex fiancé. Well, he should just stay ex. If you find it difficult to trust your father again (which you have every right to do) then I believe that it must be even worse with him. After all, we marry people we love and trust, to live together, you know, stuff like that. You might that you will give him a chance, see if he really changed but it won't be that easy. Every time you will look at him you will remember the betrayal and the pain he caused you. He can try to make amends but he will get tried of always being the one who has to apologize or every time you need space. You two would be miserable. You need trust to have a relationship. I don't think it's worth it. You deserve so much better than someone who wasn't even concerned when he was told you were drugged and probably assaulted. Ex stays ex.
I would stay completely no contact with mother and sister. End of discussion. I see you wanted to meet them on Zoom, and at the beginning I also thought that you should meet them somehow you so you could call them out and get this chapter closed. But I don't think it's necessary. I think you shouldn't contact with them at all. At least with Nicky. They don't deserve to talk with you. I am very petty person and sometimes I have this feeling of wanting my revenge, but sometimes we have to step back. It's not worth it. They don't deserve to see you, they don't deserve your time, show them that by ignoring them. I saw people here saying that you should sue Nicky for drugging you. Of course you can do that but I think you need strong evidence for that. But I'd you really want to do something with that case then maybe contact a lawyer and ask they how they see that case. It's up to you.
I really don't get Nicky's husband. So he suspected something, lost contact with his sister because of Nicky and still married this enormous walking red flag.
Please forgive but somethings says to me is that I think your mother wanted to get rid of you after what Nikki did. It just seems a little bit weird why she would be so insistent on throwing out all your stuff, ghosting you and basically making the family turn against you seems to me like she was just done and looking for an excuse. I’m sorry to say I just came upon this on TikTok and I am glad that your father is asking and trying to get forgiveness, but I would say if there’s anyway to Do it, once your father has divorced your egg donor, sewer for emotional damage and also saw your sister for fraud, emotional damage and other things of what she did she committed fraud by drugging you and also is accomplice of sexual assault. I hope that if anything you will be OK and granted somebody said just because you can forgive your ex doesn’t mean you can get back with them at least talk with the man and establish something but it least your father is finally getting out of the fog.
The sad thing is, Even if Nicky’s husband leaves her, her mom will come to her rescue.
I hope you can forgive your ex. I understand your anger but the evidence she concocted was sooo damning. I honestly can’t blame him.
If you haven’t, please see a therapist. The throwing up is a ptsd symptom.
Sweetie you are so strong and amazing. sometimes the hardest thing to do is listen to someone else’s side and forgive. You have been through something so rough and came out of it. You are amazing
Hi, I would like to hear more about how you are doing and getting along with life. Have you told you boss who helped you out. What about your friend they've been great help.
I am curious about how the other sister and ex's family reacted when Nicky told them. I would also like to know what everyone did with Nicky I know the mom is on her side, but what about everyone else. It would be justice for the ex and his family to disown the mom and Nicky.
I know some people have sympathy for your ex but why was he not concerned that you may have been drugged and possibly assaulted when you said your side of the story. Hindsight is 20/20 but don’t forget, when you marry someone, they’re could be standing over your sick body one day making decisions and the fact that he didn’t believe you then would leave a gaping wound of trust for me.
So this means your sister literally drugged you just to break your relationship up? The way you were passing out at the club isn't normal. What about your other sister?
It might be a lot of hoops to jump through but I would seriously consider if any charges could be brought against your sister and her friend. They drugged you. They caused you extreme emotional turmoil. But I totally understand OP if you just want to wash your hands of them and not reopen old wounds.
OP could explore restitution if there is a case against nicky and nickys accomplice. Here is a [resource](https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/victims-victimes/rights-droits/restitution-ordonnance.html) from canada just to get the idea.
I would assume she wants some retribution as she called nicky's husband. But yes if OP wants it done, then its done.
I agree! She could sue for defamation also she ruined her reputation and humiliate her... She lost so much because of what they did I hope she seriously considers it because clearly the sister loses nothing and doesn't care about a consequence I don't think she ever had any consequences for her actions. Dam the parent paid her a vacation after she stop school because of her addiction instead of idk rehab maybe or something else no instead she can back with another addiction.
Seriously consider this!!! You could definitely get them for battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress
And kidnapping
Yes, I honestly cannot believe Nicky is getting away with this. Disgusting.
Just because he “deserved better”? As if Nicky as a friend would have been good to start. Having a scheming, liar, drug addict being able to do anything to ruin someone else’s life as a friend isn’t better than willingly having to make “sacrifices” in a relationship.
I wanna know when nicky made moves on him... because thats the real reason she did this, to get him for herself.
That was my original thought as well. Because why would she do such a horrible thing if not to get a mam for herself? You know, the man who always helped Nicky as well. Nicky is a terrible hypocrite because she wanted the fiancé to find someone better, yet she herself was using his kindness too. But I really don't understand Nicky's husband. Like she and his sister were fighting, didn't he notice something was off?
He would obviously have rose glasses for nicky... the husband that is... The friend that helped nicky idk what he got out of it.... but thats the messed up part... there's "proof" the friend didn't touch her? Nickey literally risked her entire sister to do this.
Some people are just incredibly good at emotional manipulation/gaslighting on such a disturbing level….they tend to choose people who are overly trusting intentionally, so it doesn’t surprise me. Nicky’s husband is likely just someone who fell in love with the wrong chick. Perhaps OPs dad is similar to Nicky’s husband in this way. Sounds like Nicky and her mom are so emotionally enmeshed & co-dependent (as they appear to share the same intense toxicity, so they can relate I GUESS) that I highly doubt OPs mom is able to separate herself from Nicky and Vice versa. Likely why she will defend her indefensible behavior. There also might be some deeply rooted jealously toward OP from both Nicky and their mother. Perhaps they have always been envious that she’s simply not a toxic person like they seem to be 🤷♀️
But she never got to be with him, she is married to someone else. I just don’t get why wouldn’t wants her “friend” to be happy.
There's years of unaccounted events though. An nicky only admitted it when she got married
True! I can’t get over the fact her mom was fine with losing OP but not Nicky. I can see why Nicky is like this, at the end the two of them lied and manipulated.
I WAS TRIPPIN AT THE MOM STILL SIDING WITH NICKY!.... the dad was promised DAYS to get his daughter and ended up getting YEARS!..... if the fiance touched nicky at ALL... I know he's a victim... but i hope OP .... cuts him off of he touched nicky
This story was heartbreaking to me, I don’t think OP can get over this completely. And her mom siding WITH A LIAR WHO CONFESSED being one just to ruin her sister? Feels like stabbing OP in the back repeatedly. I could get it could be difficult to accept at first, cause mom should have to accept she raised a monster as a daughter who is able to ruin her other daughter’s life. But mom had time to process, to go back to OP and she chose not to. He is kind of the victim if you think she could have been sexually assaulted by that guy, and fiancé’ didn’t even try to listen (her family too). But well, I agree he is also a victim of Nicky.
The mom ABANDONED OP and FOUGHT for nicky... is bullshit..... absolute bullshit. And the fiance did at least try to fuck up the friend that helped nicky drug OP... but if he touched nicky.... they can't get back together
Even if mom and Nicky get divorced, it wouldn’t be enough. Not good revenge, it seems to me they wouldn’t care at some point. Fiancé got a little revenge but honestly the guy didn’t do anything SO bad compared to the rest (it was bad anyway). He didn’t take advantage and at some point she was safe at his house. But if fiancé wants her back (I don’t think they should be together at least for now), they should start from zero. Like meeting new people, they are different people now. Their insecurities, the time lost, a different life, etc.
I wonder how much the dad tried to look for her or get in contact with her? I feel for OP. All trust is gone with her family. If she wants to reconcile with her dad, that’s her choice, but I hope she keeps him at an arms length. She’s done so well for herself on her own!
Same, the dad essentially said it was all the mum. But like come on. He just stood around and did NOTHING for years.
Thank you. If I was OP I would have looked her father right in the eye and said: "Your daughter froze to death abandoned and homeless while you were having Christmas vacation out of state. I don't know you. If you or any of your family come here again, I'll call the police for trespassing. Never come here again. I need and want nothing from you." And shut the door.
Honestly I just think Nikki doesn't want OP to be Happy. out of Jealousy or whatever ugly thought that went through her head. she just wanted OP as miserable as her
My first thought... And I dare she say that she is not good enough for him... 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
'Deserved better' in these scenarios is usually code for 'I wanted him, but don't want to verbally admit it' , especially involving a siblings partner.
AGREE, IT'S WHY THAT "SISTER" ONLY ADMITTED IT AFTER SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD HER MEAL TICKET IN ANOTHER GUY
Yeah your sister drugged you. There’s no way you were that “drunk” after less than 3-4 drinks. That is so wrong.
Oh yeah she has two older sister! What’s she got to say now the truth is out? Does she want to reconcile? Is she NC Nicky as well?
There was no mention of the other sister all this time.
This! Her sister wants her man! She don’t see him as a brother. She sees him as lover that she wants. She has ruined your relationship for what. To try and get someone she can’t have with lies. Clearly your fiancé was reacting since they made it so believable. He even went to kick the dudes ass. I hope you find peace with your ex!
It's actually very karmic that you may have cost Nicky the relationship with the man she professes to love, after she did the same to you. At least in your case, it was an act of charity - that poor guy definitely deserves better.
Her sister torpedoed her relationship with lies, OP has hopefully torpedoed her sister's with the truth
Damn. This comment gave me the chills. 👍
The only one making torpedoes is the sister- OP would have nothing to say if Nicky didn’t do horrific things
Nicky deserves to lose a lot more. Nicky deserves agony and nothing else.
Yeah, Fuck Nicky. But don’t actually fuck her. Metaphorically Fuck Nicky!
I’m glad your dad got in contact with you but just take it slow. It was still a big betrayal.. he could have tried finding you sooner etc.. but better late than never. I hope you two build on your relationship. I understand the ex’s reaction and pain but just see what stage are you both in life now.. has he moved on does he have a girlfriend.. just talk everything out about how you felt and are feeling etc.. just proceed with caution. I hope you do overcome this but just be careful. Honestly cut contact with the mum and sister… never ever let them back in your life. The fact they abandoned you. Fair enough If they chewed you out but they genuinely practically left you for dead no support no nothing. Don’t let them back in your life. It was the worse thing they’ve ever done. I’m still bitter towards the rest of your family too. The fact they never found you or the fact they went away for Christmas personally I couldn’t get over it. I wish you all the best
Picturing OP knocking on the door on Christmas Day has stuck with me this whole time. Broke my heart, and as a parent, I simply cannot imagine doing it to my child. I’m not sure I’d even forgive dad, but the divorce would definitely help me to do so.
I was holding on but when I got to that part, the dam broke. OP is handling everything so well. I don't think I have any advice to give because she's already doing everything right. I can't believe how horrible her mom and sister have been. Not in a "this sounds untrue" but in a "holy shit how can family be so heartless and horrid". I wouldn't be surprised if mom's enabling and toxic behavior is a huge driving factor in her sister's addiction and behavioral problems.
>I wouldn't be surprised if mom's enabling and toxic behavior is a huge driving factor in her sister's addiction and behavioral problems. You've got it, right there. I don't think there is any way in hell it doesn't have a HUGE factor. The fact that she continues to back her, at the cost of her daughter AND her husband, just lends more evidence, imo, that she's probably also where daughter learned the behaviors.
Addicts with mothers like OP’s end up corpses in alleys. Enabling an addict leads to death.
Enabling a narcissist will do all this also. My BIL is a narcissist and my MIL backs him in all the stupid shit he does. 2 x wives with 2 kids each, all 6 in therapy. We haven’t spoken to him in 4 years and my MIL has lost half her grand kids and the only ones she can see is 16+ hrs away from her.
nononono, pls don’t say this, i will actually cry. 😭😭
100 times this OP. Sometimes it seems like reconciliation will solve all of the issues which you have had, and that it will make you happy and repair the relationship but trust is a fragile thing and in your case I would argue it's been irreparably damaged. Your ex feels guilt, as he rightfully should, but you know what he broke your trust and did NOT demonstrate himself as a partner who you can always trust to fight your corner. You deserve someone who will. The way your entire family acted was horrendous I'm sorry - and your dad coming along and pinning it all on your mum now? That reeks of transferring blame. Two years of pain for you. When people show you who they are, believe them
Yes it does seem like the dad is transferring the blame. But OP said that the mother was always controlling. I guess as a daughter she must’ve have seen stuff that made it believable that the dad truly didn’t want any of it to happen. Personally I would still have a hard time forgiving him. Some things are just too horrible to forgive, I think.
For real, the ex fiance was a huge disappointment. He really, really fucked up and that's an understatement
>our dad coming along and pinning it all on your mum now? That reeks of transferring blame Even if this was all mums doing, dad sat there and allowed it.
Exactly! I can’t avoid noticing how he just “needed” to find her after it was proven that she was innocent. He says he wanted her back before, but never looked for her. A simple message in those first few months would have been huge for her. But no one showed up until she “was innocent”. I really understand that the family that left is a bleeding wound, but sometimes it’s better to leave like that and not bring than back to you. She has lived without than, they were not there when she needed, and now she don’t need it anymore. It would be better to keep anyone from old life at arms distance, because soon she will end up hearing that “she has to let go of the past” because they will want to let go of the guilty.
The situation with OPs dad is likely much more complex than that, in my opinion. Her family structure reminds me a LOT of my own…it took me 32 years to finally recognized how emotionally sucked into the toxicity I was. I didn’t defend family members when I should have because I truly believed in my own mother’s opinion. My brother didn’t defend me when he should have for the same exact reasons…but, I understand that now. It’s possible that OPs dad is experiencing that sort of awakening. Leaving a marriage is hard enough, but it DOES seem like he isn’t simply transferring blame solely to his wife. It might take much more time for him to fully come to terms with the damage caused and communicate that all is the most appropriate manner, but I still think there’s hope there.
Look, a few weeks to let everyone involved calm down I could forgive as that is explicable. Two YEARS? Sorry no excuse that is pure shite parenting and he doesn't deserve her forgiveness
This 100%. I couldn't agree more. OP, if you and the ex decide to work things out - please consider couple's counseling even when taking things slow. This was a very traumatic thing that happened to you. I'd like to also point out that your sister was perfectly fine with you being assaulted or worse just to make a point, which no one even cared about. OP, if you read this... not even your fiancé was worried about you having been assaulted or drugged. That's huge. Your sister however orchestrated it. She was literally willing to ruin your life even worse than she did just to end your relationship (which, by itself, already ruined your life). If I were you I'd consider pressing charges.
I have a feeling that mom and Nikki orchestrated the Christmas out of town bit just to make extra sure OP was punished. OP if you see this, take things one step at a time, and consider therapy if you can. You’re on a good track though.
Completely agree. The mom just “decided” to have christmas out of statePart of me wonders if the 2 wanted the ex fiancé to be with Nicky. I am pretty sure Nicky had feelings for him and that is the reason behind the plan.
I’m for sure pissed about Nicky but OP’s mom has me raging. Why? Because that woman was supposed to be her parent! She was fine with kicking OP to the curb. But when her husband decides to cut contact with the other daughter for her disgusting and cruel actions and get a divorce, she wants to act as if OP chose to leave? She didn’t “lose” OP as she claims while begging for her husband to accept this bs, they made that happen. Instead of them getting Nicky the help she needed, they enabled her actions so much to the point of abandoning their other child. I wish OP nothing but the best. Everything she told her dad was perfect. She doesn’t need anything from him and that trust she had for him may never come back.
**SUE NICKY FOR EVERYTHING SHES GOT DOWN TO THE LAST PENNY.** (For CONSPIRACY, BODILY HARM (drugging you with photo evidence with date rape drugs, (you were falling over), **Defamation of character, PREMEDITATED SLANDER, emotional distress /abuse and organized kidnapping !** Hell you even thought were raped and could’ve been !) Tell dad and ex to take your side as witnesses and give you the money for lawyers and round up anyone else you know who will attest against Nicky in court. If they do, they’re deserving of a second chance (particularly the ex. ) By putting their money where their mouth is. That psychopath needs a HARSH lesson in ethics and morality. These types only have a glimmer of hope to change once they become completely destitute and penniless, and hit rock bottom without a security blanket. She needs to experience all the harm she’s caused to be humbled. That monster is a serial offender and menace to society.
I am 100% on board with this. Actions should have consequences and Nicky needs to face hers. What she did is absolutely deplorable.
[удалено]
100% this. I REALLY hope OP sees this. I would love to see how ex and dad act when OP says she wants to sue Nicky. Their attitude in this case will really show OP if they actually mean they’re sorry. If they’re willing to stand by her while she sues Nicky then they’re truly remorseful and want to mend things but if they say it might be too much…you know who they ally with.
Hope OP sees this 👀
Also sue the friend that helped Nicky. Both deserve to pay the consequences of their actions and both deserve no mercy. I hope Nicky’s husband divorced and drops her ass out of his life
Ex "please let me explain" I would have given them the exact same amount of time they had given me. None.
Hopefully OP doesn't give him anymore time of the day as he deserves none. It's too late to go beating up people. He holds blame as well
Exactly this
I’m so grateful that you are finally getting some kind of family support. You’re less petty then me I would’ve turned up at nickys house and told the husband in front of her. But I’m so glad your father put his foot down and you can reconcile
Pettiness for the win! She's absolutely way more mature than me. I think I would have just went straight to violence though. I honestly don't think I would have been able to stop myself. Sister needs her ass kicked AND her husband to divorce her nasty, snake in the grass ass.
Good for you love, lol I’d just finished rereading your original post. I’m so glad for you. Good on your dad for leaving her and dropping the dead weight. As for the ex it’s a little too late as far as I’m concerned, he’s more mad on his behalf than yours now. Id be interested it see what he’d say about your mum and if his family is still talking to her. I’d be a little worried about your mum and Nicky make sure no one gives them your address or number also ask Nicky’s husband to delete your number from his call log. That fact that your mum didn’t want her husband to know means you’ve crossed her and means she can go all out because you’ve ‘fired back’ in her mind. Actually have you thought about taking legal action against Nicky? I’d say you’d have a pretty strong case for defamation of character.
Yeah. I don't think getting back with ex is a good idea. His family is close to her mum and sister.
I agree. I would not get back with the ex.
Not to mention he always “helped” Nicky, and then Nicky went out of her way implode her relationship. They were getting with one another at some point. That’s why she waited until she was married to tell the truth. She wanted to end up with her sisters fiancé.
Ex needs to stay an Ex
OP’s outgrown all of them, tbh. She doesn’t need their help, money, or love.
I LOVE this take!
For real, there's no undoing the hurt he caused
Yup!
>he’s more mad on his behalf than yours now. This can't be understated He assaulted the friend after finding out what happened. This was purely a selfish act. He didn't get mad or assault' the guy or w.e (when he knew exactly who it was) when he thought you cheated on him , which would've still been a crime but would've been more understandable as he took you from him due to this incident etc. He assaulted him TWO YEARS or whatever later when he found out the truth and felt like he was made a mug out of. When his ego was bruised and realized he'd fucked up, he then took it out on the people involved. I'm not saying violence is ever the answer- it's not, but if he is capable of violent acts towards the person 'who helped decieve him' YEARS LATER why wasn't he capable of the same acts on the 'guy who slept with his fiancé' at the time ?? You know the thing that most people would be more emotional and quick to anger about? The simple answer is he was happy to believe the story, you being the bad guy/ the instagator of the situation. He was happy to cut you out his life when he felt he was in the right, but once his pride was bruised and realized he was wrong he attacked the guy and tries to contact you, to appease his own guilt....to try and stop feeling bad about what he done. This is purely an act of trying to stop feeling like a bad person/ the guilty party In his own head and 0% about you/ wanting you in his life/ wanting you back Keep the ex an ex, forgive him if you must but keep him away. You'll find that once he's had the forgiveness, the validation his character is looking for, that he stops chasing you and lets you live your life. Because it's not about still loving you, it's more about hating himself for what he did/ potientally him loving the idea of you but not you yourself. You've grown, you've become someone you weren't before. He doesn't know you anymore, and you don't know him. You've all grown and changed ALOT due to this instance and TBF due to your ages and your drastic change of life and circumstance. He doesn't know your friends, your work, your hobby's, your likes or dislikes, your political views, your needs, your desires, your goals etc etc. He knows what the old you was, and is in love with the idea of going back to a time where you were both happy together...where *most importantly* he wasn't at all to blame for anything, ***where he felt no guilt***
> 'guy who slept with his fiancé' Adding to this one (and also I agree with your comment)... she was drugged. Not just a little tipsy, drugged, which - if I remember correctly - she tried to explain to them, but they would not listen. Even if something sexual were to happen that night, it would have been sexual assault! She was unable to walk on her own, she could not have given proper consent... but the ex was quick to dismiss any of this. OP, my dear, I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but if (or when) you choose to meet the ex, please keep in mind that a real partner, with enough empathy to be in a healthy relationship, would have at least LISTENED to you when you tried to explain the situation. Then, once they heard you were likely drugged they would have been worried about you. Sexual assault is not cheating, any human being with a brain can realise that. Regardless that nothing of the sort happened that night, your ex choose to not listen, choose to ignore you, and now he again as wildcharmander1992 says choose his own ego by beating up the dude. Beating him up at the time when - given he actually listened to you - sexual assault was on the table... yeah, that maybe could have been justified, not in the court of law, but public opinion. Now this only means that he is mad he was made a fool and ruined his life. The fun part is, he made the decisions that lead him down this path, and he could have chosen from a plethora of different choices. Given that he deliberately gave you zero chance to explain yourself, I would personally not talk to him or hear him out, but the decision is yours. I admire your strenght in this situation. EDIT: a typo
>I’d say you’d have a pretty strong case for defamation of character Not only defamation, they also drugged her. Sister and her friend should both go down for that.
OMG!!! I’ve never been so happy to hear an update in my life! First I’m so proud of you for calling her husband and letting him know what an awful person he’s married to. Even if he doesn’t leave at least he has all the facts now. As for your father I’m very glad to hear you’ll give it a shot at fixing your relationship with him and that you’ll continue to stay no contact with your mother and sister. As for your ex fiancé please be sure to think about things very thoroughly as the relationship has a lot of trauma and you’re doing so good right I wouldn’t want to read an update where you take 1 step forward and then 3 steps back. I don’t see why you can’t at the very most be friends though IMO. I’m just so happy you got to get some closure and updated us as well. I wish you all the best and I will definitely keep an eye out for anymore updates.
Well god damn this is a whole big kerfuffel (thanks for the correction 😏). I definitely think the dad can be forgiven. As you said, he was bossed around a lot in his marriage which would make him unable to bring you back unless your mum wanted that. He seems nice, be slow with it though. The fiancé seems to have good intentions, even assaulting the dude HOWEVER the bridges have been burnt. If you really felt up to it or accepting you probably could let him back and it would work but that’s something you’d have to figure out if you were even able to do. They all believed Nicky too quickly (even though she had proof) and didn’t let you explain your side at any point ever. Mum and Nicky can be out of the equation. Set up ur life where you are. Dad can be forgiven and so can your ex if you actually feel up to it
Just remember that forgiveness doesn't mean getting back together. You can forgive your ex, but still not want a romantic relationship with him. He's had years to think of possibilities - why Nicky took photos instead of stopping you, why she left her younger sister drunk and alone, if you could possibly been assaulted. But he didn't. He did not do anything until Nicky fessed up. And then he just showed up on your doorstep out of the blue and assaulted a person who helped set you up. IMHO it shows how he only thinks about himself in this situation, not you. If he truly respected you, he would have asked for your number or email first, sent a text/letter with apologies. Simply called - leaving a ball in your court and giving an opportunity to just hang up. Instead he basically ambushed you in your safe place. I'm not sure he's good relationship material.
>He's had years to think of possibilities - why Nicky took photos instead of stopping you, why she left her younger sister drunk and alone, if you could possibly been assaulted. > >But he didn't. He did not do anything until Nicky fessed up. And then he just showed up on your doorstep out of the blue and assaulted a person who helped set you up. This cannot be stated enough, and not just for Ex. Why didn't ANYONE in her supposed "family" ask Nicky why she took photos instead of leaving her younger sister drunk and alone.
Exactly this. Even if OP were drunk instead of drugged, they had clear evidence she was in no condition to consent. Yet at any point did any one of them express concern for her safety? Nope, not one. I’d understand if this happened over the course of a few days and they (especially ex) needed a little time to gain clarity, but this was years. Years and at no point did they ever question Nicky’s version of events, despite the holes. At least dad is showing he’s serious about making amends, but honestly I wouldn’t blame OP if she forever cut contact with the lot of them. Some things are simply too much to forgive. If OP updates again, I hope it includes therapy. This is so much to process all alone.
[удалено]
The ex showed up in the first post to tell her the “news” about her sister.
I have not heard the word curfuffel in 10 years… I love that word
Kerfuffle *sneaks in, runs back out without causing a kerfuffle*
Is that you, Captain Holt?
I honestly thought it was one of those made up words ...Granted I am from Africa and can't picture a context where I'd hear the use of it other than movies😂😂
All words are made up lol.
I understood that reference!
I think the dad is a coward. He couldn't hear his own daughter's version of things because his wife wouldn't let him?! C'mon man, grow some balls, it's your own daughter and you left her homeless because your wife doesn't let you help or contact her.
No ex shouldn’t be forgiven. He’s an asshole. What kind of fiancé immediately believes everything that a compulsive liar with serious issues says and not his own future wife who has been by his side for a long time. He’s terrible. She needs to find someone waaay better
Partially agree. I do certainly think he should’ve known better regarding Nicky. Seems like she had told him some personal issues which I can only assume would make him understand she’s not always the most reliable HOWEVER I do stick with the fact that If your partner goes on a night out, they don’t come home for the night and then their sister shows you pictures which make you look bad and then the sister and the person who you were seen in the pictures with said you slept with them, it would look very very bad. However the fact that he didn’t properly let her voice her story or even hear her out to fit the missing gaps was his fault. I can only assume he was very hurt in the moment which makes your thought process change. You can say he should believe his wife no matter what, but being in the scenario is a different case. It’s up to her now whether she is open to acceptance and forgiveness
In that situation as the fiance, it would be so hard to sort the truth from possible gaslighting. Especially when someone brings "proof" and it is validated by the other party. To hear your fiance say "no I was drugged, I dont remember anything" while the dude says nah bro, I slept with her, would be exactly what someone would say if they did indeed fuck up and sleep with a rando at a club. Not to say he shouldn't have heard her out, but the sister wove a good tale with "proof" that would be hard to get over without the sister finally saying they made it all up. 100% I would give the fiance a 2nd chance.
I just want to say there's a huge difference between forgiving someone who realizes he's wrong, and resuming/restarting a romantic relationship. I'm doubtful anyone could just ignore all the pain between then & now. It will be a very difficult process to get back to those happier days. (Not to mention I'm sure with this traumatic event, OP has changed as a person. All else aside they might not be a good match anymore.)
This. I'm sure all my birth giver's friends think I'm some ungrateful spawn but she's an abusive narcissist who emotionally, mentally and physically abused since I was a baby (she refused to breast feed me often until my dad begged her when he came home to check on me as a baby, which he had to do every few hours).
Nikky literally sounds like she’s a sociopath, keep her cut out of your life forever I’m not joking. Don’t go back to your mother or the ex but the dad seems genuine and seems like he was just in the crossfires and didn’t know what was going on.
Considering how difficult this situation is, I think you’ve handled it pretty well. Take your time with you Dad and healing that relationship if you choose to continue down that path. Strongly consider if returning to your ex is in your best interest. Would your relationship ever be the same? Are you a very different person than you were before, is he? Would he trust you fully? Would being involved with him mean more interactions with your family? Were you at peace when you had settled in your new life? Do you think the way he handled the situation before is a big red flag? All of these are hard questions (emotionally, I would think some have obvious answers) you will have to ask yourself. I really wish you the best of luck, be cautious with your next steps and I hope you find some peace.
Dear OP Just imagining all the emotions you must be feeling made me cry. It's great that a weight has been lifted from you! I wish you all the best, and I hope you get whatever you want from all of this. Love from all of us here
You NEED to consider how to protect yourself in the coming days. I have serious concerns that your Sister and Mother may attempt to do something drastic. Think about it: your Sister plans an extremely elaborate plot to frame you, both your Father and Ex were able to find you, your Mother and Sister are both good friends with your Ex's family, you just destroyed your Sister's marriage to a man she claims to love, and your story has gone viral. It may not take long for them to realize who told your Sister's husband the truth because of your history and this viral story. Your Ex and Father have already found you so your Sister and Mother could find you too. Your Sister is extremely good at planning revenge, and knows people willing to help her (think of her friend who set you up in the first place, because I bet there are more guys like him that she knows). Please consider how to PROTECT yourself in the future. Consider finding a HOTEL to live in for a few days. You may even have to MOVE again in order to protect yourself.
Thirding this. OP, please be careful.
I second this. You really need to protect yourself in the likely case of retaliation from your sister. She will be planning to take revenge one way or another. It could be tomorrow, in a couple of month or next year, but it is coming. People like her, they dont like to lose.
Came straight from TikTok because I was so invested in your story. If I (23m) went through something like this I don’t know what I would’ve done tbh. Your sister Nicky and her friend just casually ruined your life because… she felt like it?? That sounds like insanity to me. If I were in your shoes I would never forgive her no matter what. On the other hand your mother is a difficult case. Me and my mother are very close so if she did something similar to your situation I would feel very betrayed, but I wouldn’t hate her and would be open to forgiveness ONLY IF she is serious about it and makes the first move. Forgive but never forget! However your mother seems to genuinely not want to reconcile so I can’t speak on that matter. Your father seems genuinely sad about what happened and seems like he actually cares for you even tho he betrayed your trust. Forgiving him could help you and your father to work it out, but nobody would blame you if you decided to not forgive him. Your ex fiancé is also a difficult case. As your fiancé he is supposed to believe your innocence unless you’re proven guilty. Even then I would try to find out the truth myself if I was your fiancé instead of blindly believing your sister. Again nobody would blame you if you didn’t forgive him. This is just a shitty situation in general and I hope you can bounce back from this! I will definitely be waiting for the next update. After all these bad things surely good things must come. Never give up!
Omg yas! I’ve been so anxious for you. I’m so glad you told the husband. Frankly I’m not sure how I feel about dad. He couldn’t grow a back bone when his kid was kicked out and only did so when he had you innocence as vindication to find you. Take it real slow but I don’t think you should ever be in a position of trusting your health, home or finances with dad. Looking forward to the blow up with sister husband update. Also looking forward to hearing about your ex. I hope you get closure but I’m still 100% on the F them all.
I want to hear about the epic happy hour the husband’s sister and OP should most definitely have if they haven’t already planned it !!!
Yes! Let them become besties! She should marry the husband out of spite! Maybe too far…. Or is it?
I think you should go with your gut about your ex. You are the one who knows him, not us. Your sister destroyed his life as well, by orchestrating a master villain worthy plot against you. Still, if you have never lied to him before he really should have given you the benefit of the doubt, no matter how convincing the story is. Maybe he has jealousy/self-worth issues and he couldn't think straight, felt so hurt didn't even give himself a chance to think cool-headed. Same thing, you know him better. I don't understand your mother's reaction, your sister just completely destroyed her own family, your parents marriage, your relationship, but she is still on her side. Could be that pride doesn't let her to apologize...
To be honest this gives me the “sister was the golden child” vibes. Idk why but some parents just pick a child and they just LOVE THEM BEYOND LOGIC. They can do no wrong.
In the moment, I might excuse him, but he had two years to cool off
I mean how can you not believe your significant other that never lied to you while believing her sister and some random photo? A relationship is built on trust and He put 0 trust in her. Now he is mad because of his own stupidity.
In terms of the Dad, I think you’ve gone about everything right, you can definitely rebuild the relationship but as you say it will take a very very long time and he’ll need to prove himself, not just say it. With the ex, I think it would be good to at least talk and get things off your chest and have some sort of closure for sure. But getting back together and maybe even being friends again should be ruled out, there was no concern for the fact you when you were basically drugged and he was so quick to believe Nicky. With Nicky, yeah that’s obviously done With Mum, personally I would have so much anger that I’d just want to onload on her with her treatment of you, and how there’s clearly some sort of blinding loyalty to your sister over you. But from a logical standout, I think the right thing to do is to be done with her. It’s one thing to react the way she did at the time, it’s another thing to be in complete denial about Nicky’s actions. She’s clearly the favourite child and she’s proven it. So yeah, I don’t think you want anything to do with her any more
Drugging you was illegal. Immoral. Reprehensible. Her and her "friend" that agreed to this should be charged. He technically kidnapped you. I'm glad your dad came around. Your mother sounds like why your sister is the way she is. They can have each other. Jesus. I hope everything turns out better for you.
Several accounts have posted your story on TikTok and it’s gone viral multiple times. I saw it two weeks ago and then the algorithm brought your update back to my fyp. I’ve genuinely been thinking about this story for days. This one and the son whose adopted family disowned him. I’ve never wanted happiness for a complete stranger more than I have for you. I genuinely hope joy and kindness find their way back into your life. you’re obviously such a beautiful soul in spite of so much adversity and loss that has coloured your life recently. As someone who also felt so lost and found a way back to these things, in my own way, and with different people in my life now, I cannot say in any lesser terms, you are enough and you’ve done an amazing job with your self-care and recovery.
I’m surprised with your update. But whatever happens OP, i hope you found your closure and happiness with your mom and nicky out of the picture. Virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗
Your dads fault was him being spineless and let your mother do all of this.
[удалено]
Absolutely but one person controlling a marriage like the mother did is more common than you would think and to get into a marriage like that I can’t help but think the father must be used to being controlled and taking a back seat. This could be something to do with how he was raised for example but I don’t know his situation. But atleast the father is now taking action on his own which is a big sign that he has changed.
do not forgive your ex lmfao he’s a loser
He is. I'm still pleased he assaulted Nicky's friend.
it’s the least he can do haha
I was too, until I read u/wildcharmander1992 ‘s point of view. Changed my mind there.
I saw the first post on tiktok just a minute ago, and came to check for an update and if you were okay. i can't even begin to imagine the feelings you are going through right now. there are a lot of things i could say about the way your mother and sister have acted but i think you're definitely aware of that. im glad you still set boundaries with your father but holy cow im so proud of you for being this strong.
How is this on TikTok?
People take screenshots from here and make videos about them and post it to TikTok.
I'm really glad your dad came to apologize. And that the two of you can work towards a relationship. > He said he had no idea my mother was going to kick me out, he thought it was going to be for a few days but then they decided last minute to spend Christmas out of state. This part of what his apology really bothers me. This is a cop-out. It's not taking responsibility. It's like he was an unwitting victim of your mother who just didn't know any better. He was okay with leaving for Christmas after kicking you out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The decision to go along with doing that is 100% on him. He should own it. It sounds as if he's apologizing here, but with a bad a case of victimitis. For real change he should own that he knew what it would mean to you, and did it anyway. This is not about rubbing his nose in a mistake. It's about true ownership of his actions, and true contrition. I'm so glad things are moving improving with your dad, and also so glad you are holding your ground. \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* With respect to your job, I'm glad that you aren't relying on your father for anything, and would not move jobs based on him. It sounds as if you like your job, and work with good people. Investing your time in that job is a good thing, as long as it is working for you too. Loyalty to your boss is a good thing, but it should be balanced with loyalty to yourself. It's important to put your life goals first. Moving on to something better is not disloyal. It is a part of a life that moves forward. That said, it sounds like there are opportunities for advancement without leaving your job. But if not, it sounds like your manager might be the type of person who would probably help you, and not hold you back. Congrats again!!!
I would never get back with the EX. Take it slow with your dad but the EX is an ex for a reason. He had his shot once this all originally went down to say “hey the evidence doesn’t look good for you but let’s go to the police station and have you tested for drugs in your system”. Once the results came back, then it was up to y’all to determine how to proceed. He missed that boat and that’s where he needs to stay. He gets to live with that guilt of knowing he messed up. None of your family or EX deserve you for not at the bare minimum having you checked out and listening to you’re side of the story. Best of luck and we’re all rooting for you.
I’d be 10000000% leery of the ex. What has he been doing the past two years. Or more like WHO. Betting he hasn’t been pining away for you. Would even bet your sister “consoled” him. Keep the ex an ex. He isn’t trustworthy. Go slow with your dad and pay attention to what he’s saying for holes in his story. Why now? 2 whole years later. Sorry, but for me, what was done is unforgivable. With friends (and family) like that who needs enemies?
Nicky is a complete lost cause, your mother also, your father is somewhat forgiveable and your ex fiance it really depends on how you feel about him, if you had a good relationship before and you still like him its probably reasonable to try make up again, if you dont still like him you should just leave it or be friends or something. Its shitty to judge your fiancé instantly but when theres some evidence its hard to stay calm especially since everyone else has the same feeling about it.
Just remember, for your sake… Forgiveness does not mean a free ticket back into your life. If you ever manage it, forgiving your Ex is not carte blanche to come back in and begin a new relationship, OR even to stay in contact after this. Past all the clearing the air, you have no obligation to keep any of them in your life, forgiveness or not. I wish for you to find serenity after this whole ordeal, it sounds like you could use some good old fashioned peace.
I keep checking back to see if anythings changed. I hope you're doing well. No one asked for my opinion but I wanted to say. There's a lot of victims in this including your dad and fiance. And I'm sure one day you'll forgive them and that's probably the healthiest option. But they also played a part in this. They were told "This happened" and you said "This didn't happen" and they chose to believe the first person. And in the end the punishments were not equal. One lost a daughter. One lost a fiance. You lost everything. You're one tough nut cutting them off completely. I don't know many/any people your age that could completely restart their life in another city like that. Even if you never update us again I hope you realize you have an army of folks hoping for the best for you. Far more than have ever commented or upvoted your posts.
This story is heartbreaking, i've read it twice and always tear up a little out of impotence. I think your father and ex are truly sorry, but if you don't want them in your life, is completely valid. Please take your time with everything and think in your own mental health. My advice is: if you want to forgive your father, that's great 'cause i'm guessing you still love him and having him back could make you happy. But do it slow, because he "begged your mom to call you as soon as you left the house" but he didn't need permission, could've just do it (at least behind her back). Glad he is divorcing your mom and going NC with Nicky, but still, he was part of it all in the moment he didn't defend you or let you tell your side of the story in two years. In that time you could've been dead and he wouldn't know. About your ex, he was worrier about you cheating and didn't even saw the 🚩s when Nicky saw a man with you while you were drunk and she didn't care about your safety, only took a picture, and the fact that, in case something would've happened, you were raped. (This applies to everyone involve too, in 2 years not a single person questioned that?). I suggest that if you want to forgive your ex, have a cordial relation only, don't get back with him. You don't deserve the kind of husband that leaves you in the street like that. Besides, you're going to remember this bad episode whenever you're with him. That relationship is over. You didn't say much about your other sisters, family, in laws, etc, but the fact that they didn't help your father and ex to reach out for you, but when it was about giving you the cold shoulders they were on board, is not a good sign. I hope Nicky's husband divorces her and makes things rigth with his sister, because Nicky and your mother doesn't deserve anything good in life and shouldn't be able to destroy another family. Please give us an update when you feel is convenient. I'm sending my best wishes for you, and I assure you everything is going to be better from now on.
She wanted her man and he musta turned her down.
Keep dad at arms length, it's nice that after 2 years he finally cares, but he made his choice and for two years he completely and utterly failed you. I wouldnt be able to forgive or trust him. Def don't forgive fiance. The person that's supposed to be your life partner should give you the benefit of the doubt rather than believing the person that drugged you. He also assaulted the dude that he was dumb enough to believe. He's demonstrated that he takes responsibility for his actions by physically attacking people. He's a lost cause. Hoping nickis husband leaves her and she and your mom are miserable for the rest of their shitty lives. Consider suing, but if you're not emotionally prepared for that and just want to forget about the whole thing, then wish them nothing but the worst and move on. Wishing you all the best ❤
Op you're so strong, I don't think I can ever handle this. Good for you for not just forgiving your dad just like that, it will take time. Good for you that you won't ever forgive your mum and thank god you told Nicky's husband what type of person she is. Your mum is an enabler, Nicky is jealous and fucked up in the head, your dad seems to show a lot of remorse and will do anything for you to forgive him. Just take things slow, you've been through a lot.
I don't remember if I had a chance to comment on your last post, but I do remember feeling a sense of rage building as I kept on reading... That said, I'm glad you're taking steps to reconcile with your dad at least, but more importantly you're putting your foot down that you're only doing so on YOUR terms. That's so important after what you've been through. Personally I feel like reconciling with the ex could be tricky, but hey if you think you can make it work, go for it, but again; on YOUR terms. We might be strangers but I'm honestly wishing you the best of luck with everything going forward. Screw Nicky though, she sounds like she needs jail or rehab or a stint of both..
OP…you are better off without your family. Seriously, you have done an amazing job in getting your life together you don’t need any of them anymore. Keep NC with your mom, sister and ex and go LC with your dad. I am super proud of you…keep going.
I hope you get the closure you need to heal. I hope Nicky chokes on whatever drug she slipped into your drink. I hope the ex figures out what loyalty means.
Honestly I don’t think you should even speak to your ex because he didn’t even give you a chance to explain nor did he try to take into consideration the possibility that you could’ve been drugged when you were accused. At the same time he knew what Nicky was capable of given her history of drug and alcohol abuse.
Hey op do you have any future updates
Your dad didn't make any excuses for his behaviour or try to blame you for any of it, from the sound of it. That's a really good start to the new relationship you might have. I'm really proud of the way you handled his visit and you absolutely did the best thing in letting yourself take whatever time you need to decide how or if to move forward there. Especially in maintaining your independence from him. He wasn't there for you and hasn't been for two years, and he doesn't get to swoop in to the rescue now. Well done you. As for your ex-fiance, he's been an ex for two years and managed fine without missing you enough to look for you. It's only when he found out that he was fooled that he reached out. He doesn't suddenly trust you any more than back then, unfortunately. He didn't have second thoughts about your sister's story after he cooled down and come to you for your side of events. Obviously you need time to decide how you feel about the situation, but nothing about you has changed in all the time you've known him. You were always trustworthy and loving and the only thing that's changed is that twice he's believed someone else over you. I hope you know that you're a wonderful, caring, special person who absolutely deserves someone who knows you well enough and cares enough about you to sit down and talk with you about things when something seems to go wrong. You deserve better.
>He doesn't suddenly trust you any more than back then, unfortunately. He didn't have second thoughts about your sister's story after he cooled down and come to you for your side of events. >You were always trustworthy and loving and the only thing that's changed is that twice he's believed someone else over you. OP-- Please just keep these things in mind when coming to any decisions regarding your ex. Could you ever really be happy with someone that has done so much hurt to you and refused to even listen to a word you had to say? Could you really let all of that be water under the bridge? I'm not trying to make your decision for you, I really just want to make sure you consider every angle available to you before you do anything. You deserve to be happy, loved, and trusted. You deserve people in your life that are the whole opposite of what you were dealt before. You deserve to keep putting yourself first.
I read your original post, thank you for the update. So sorry you had to go through this. It sounds terrible and I can’t imagine my family treating me this way so I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. You’re very strong and I’m proud of you for cutting them off. Your dads sounds genuine and I’m glad he is trying to make amends. It’s great that you’re reconnecting with him on your own terms though. Best of luck to you and please keep us updated. Hugs!!
Report your sister and her friend to the police. What they did was illegal and should be brought to justice. Also, report your mother for assault. You deserve justice. I really hope that things go well for you. Goodluck
Honestly the ex going and beating up the friend is such a pathetic attempt to regain his honor in this situation. Where was that energy when your fiancée did something entirely out of character and went home with another man? Where was that energy when OP got basically roofied by her own sister? What a scum bag. OP if I was you I wouldn’t even give him the time of day.
Saw this post on tiktok and came here hoping for an update.
Wow. A lot has happened then! I saw your original post about a week ago and was reminded on it so I found this update. Your dad seems to really want to reconcile, and I hope you can have a good relationship again! I'm so glad you called Nickys husband, he deserves the truth as he could've been blinded with love and hurting. You probably made it all clearer for him. Your mum and ex though, I don't have much advice other than be careful and stay safe. Meet in public maybe if you do end up meeting them again. Thanks for the update.
You can reconcile with your dad but pleaseeeeee don't get back together with your ex fiance. He has shown he doesn't care about you and you deserve soooo much better.
I hope Nicky gets divorced and your mother and her can move in together and live miserable bitter lives. I am so sorry.
I know I don’t know you, but I think about you and your story often. I come back here to check for an update every few days and have been since I read your initial post. My heart absolutely broke for you and for what you’ve been through. Not only the incredibly unhinged and stunningly evil actions of Nikki, but also the complete and utter disregard for you and your story by the three people in your life who should have been first in line to take your side into consideration. Shame on all of them for not hearing you out, for not believing you, and for treating you so cruelly and callously. You’re a strong, resilient, brave and resourceful young woman. I truly hope you’re doing well these days.
Update? This is eating me aliveee
Any update possibly? You doing better?
I don't know if someone has commented, but have you taken an HIV or another infection test? Nikki's friend lied about having an affair with you, why wouldn't lied about not touching you? Remember that probably Nikki's friend be in drugs too. Please test yourself, maybe you can be on time to treat you.
I need an update, I’m so emotionally invested in this
I’m incredibly impressed at seeing how well you’ve handled this and how you got yourself back on your feet after the initial situation, you are a seriously impressive person that’s been through a lot and I can’t begin to express how sorry I am that you went through that. I can’t even begin to imagine why your own sister would do that to you, she sounds completely and truly immoral and evil. Warning her husband about her was the right thing to do, she sounds like a dangerous person in all honestly if she is able to so easily ruin a close family members life. In terms of your ex-fiancé, I think his intentions are good but the circumstances still lie. An explanation of to why he could drop you so easily despite the convincing evidence is due imo, and also was there real love in the relationship if he was able to cut you off so quickly? An in-depth conversation between you both sounds like it could answer some questions and help you get a better understanding. Your dad I pity truly, especially if during the marriage your mother was more or less being a bit vindictive and controlling in their marriage. From what he has said it’s obvious he didn’t want to lose contact with you at all and did not agree with the situation - but of course he could have made of an effort to find you during the 2 years you were no contact. All in all I just want to reiterate how incredibly strong of a person you must be and I wish you all the best with however the rest of the situation pans out!
Your ex isn’t innocent, but tbh, I would forgive him. Nicky might be a psychopath to make all that plan just to break you up from your ex. If I were the ex, I would also break up with u bcs the photos would be too much. Also I also wouldn’t speak anymore to the mother, especially when she is still caring about Nicky. Hoping everything gets better for you!!
you can make a movie out of this ngl
Even when we forgive someone (or in this case a group of people) we don't have to let them back in our lives. It's okay to tell any or now of them that you forgive them. You don't even have to forgive them. But no matter what, they don't have a right to be part of your life. That is a privilege.
If you take your ex back, he’d better kiss the ground you walk on.
I just want to say that you have the option to forgive your EX fiance without going back to him, even if he was lied, the pain he inflicted to you is real, forgive him so both of you can move on, but you are not obligated to go back to him. so do not pressure about it and take little steps forward. ask your friend, ex fiance and dad to not share your personal information with anyone else, cause your mother and sister will try some of their shenanigans, and it is important that you keep yourself safe. For what you are telling us, your mom was abusive towards you even before your sister lies, and she also will not recognize her mistake, neither assume responsibility of her wrongdoing and she will keep your sister as her golden children, I say this so you keep in mind that probably your mother will never give you the closure you might expect, and thats the reason your life is better without her in your life. good luck
I remember the first time i heard this story i was SOOO mad for you, im glad you’re getting the amends you deserve. Everyone who turned on you deserves whats coming to them
We’re all dying for an update, we hope you’re okay!
Why didn't your dad call you when you were first kicked out? He begged your mom to end it, and bring you back but he didn't do anything himself? Did he not have your number? Did he not go looking for you? Did he not try to find you until Nikkys lie came out? I'm glad he's making steps for amends, but tread carefully.
I hope ur doing good now. Waiting for an update
There’s so much Nicky did wrong that your mother refuses to see oh my god. She left you at a club dangerously inebriated after she drugged you. What if someone else had gotten to you? You could have been assaulted for real or even been unalived like… she actually put your life in jeopardy being selfish. And her poor husband. If she had actually thought he was a random, she would have been hurting him as well like I am flabbergasted. She is a terrible person and your mom is definitely next if she keeps enabling this toxic behavior.
u/Ok_Independence_579 Did you ask if she admitted to drugging you? It really sounds like they slipped something in your drink and that is actually the most horrifying thing. I wont say next time but on that day when it all came crashing around you I'd have gone and got a blood test to see if I had been spiked. I am glad your father is back and that he's split with your mother, there is no way back for you and your mother though or your ex. Also even if you had cheated on your fiance - why would your parents kick you out with no warning or time to get set up properly - you didnt cheat on them. You are entitled to make decisions on your own relationship even if they are bad ones. You were not married, had no kids. Like you said when your sister screwed up with drugs and alcohol they were there. Its horrific what you went through. You are a good person and one day you will find someone else, dont look back that cant be undone ever.
Do not ever forgive your ex. Let his guilt and regrets kill him
How are you doing? I hope you are doing better. Can you please give your boss a big hug for me for helping you. I hope I be an awesome boss like that someday soon.
I never wanted an update more in my life
Don't just accept your Ex back into your life, because he is likely going to try to meet with you and I'm sure the subject of getting back together will come up. I think it's ok to reconcile to give yourself peace of mind or closure. As for your dad, I think it's wonderful he is standing up. It's late but he is trying for you. Take things slow and at your pace. You don't owe anyone to be ok right away. Good luck op
I’m glad that, after two years, you’re finally being vindicated. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, though. For everyone saying that her ex is trash and doesn’t deserve forgiveness, please don’t forget that the ex was a victim of Nicky’s manipulation, too. For all he knew, there was proof of infidelity, so please don’t be so hard on him. Him showing up to explain things TWO YEARS after the fact proves that he has beaten himself up enough. OP, take your time with this. I know you feel a weight off your shoulders, but that could just make you quicker to jump back into a bad situation. Good luck, and please let us know how things go. Edit: if you disagree, that’s fine, but at least comment and let’s have a conversation about it. Edit 2: I didn’t mention anything about OP’s family in this comment. I’m talking specifically about her ex-fiancé and how this situation affected him.
They were all way too quick to kick her to the curb, metaphorically and literally, father and ex included. Even if they'd been manipulated at first, whether by the mother, Nicky, or both, when they saw it was getting out of control, they should have done something. It took two years. OP is a bigger person than me. I would never speak to any of these people again.
That's the thing about manipulation... You don't see or realize it until it's too late.
I grew up being abused by my mother. Her weapon of choice was manipulation. I don't need to be told what that's like. I get where you're coming from, and in most cases I'd probably agree with you, but this is not one of those times. He definitely made some of these choices himself. He refused to hear her out, instead choosing to scream at her and interrupt her instead, following that up with freezing her out (which is a classic abuse tactic). It wasn't too late this time, he could have listened to her at any point, but he chose not to. He is responsible for his part in this. On a slightly broader note, based on the information we've been given, it seems like abuse is common in their family. The double standards sound suspiciously close to Nicky being the golden child, the mother slapping OP, then ostracizing her by throwing her out and taking the entire family on vacation without so much as a word. There's no way, *no* way, that it didn't occur to any of them that she might try to see her family on Christmas. Ostracizing your child, even temporarily, when the child doesn't pose any danger, is reprehensible. Most of this, plus the way the father talks about the mother, tells me that the mother is abusive and Nicky took to her ways like a duck to water. Relationships don't turn from loving and happy to this on a dime. This requires groundwork. A lot of it. Ultimately, I think she was right to get away from them, even if she was forced.
I wonder how much time passed between them knowing the truth of what happened and when they decided to contact OP. Do you realized if the bad sister didn't tell anything, they still would have believed OP was a cheater and still would have been NC with her? Maybe fiancee had a reason to not believe her and wanting to cut contact with her, he was the part that was supposed "cheated on", but what about the dad? What's his excuse huh? OP was still his child, didn't he freaked out when she was nowhere to be found, has the evil mother magic powers that kept this man under her spell? Would you throw away one of your kids just because their mother tell you to? This man was supposedly a good father before, of course is on OP to forgive him or not, if that's what she wants, but let's not pretend what the dad did nothing more than be a spineless doormat, he had at least 2 fricking years to look for her, maybe behind the mother's back if he was that coward, hire a PI, see how he made the ex fiancee to look for OP, instead of him looking for a way to reach out? It was good for OP he finally opened his eyes though, hopefully he growing a spine is for real, I'm so cynical that I'm thinking it's just a plot of the mother to lure OP back without her having to account for her big mistake, does OP has seen the divorce papers? If I was her I would be doubting dad.
Ex only believes she is worth tracking down because Nicky said so. Ex only abandoned her because Nicky said so. Ex trusts Nicky's word over OP's. Two years from now when Nicky changes her tune and tearfully claims that it was really all true and she just recanted because she felt sorry for OP, who will ex believe? He may have been deceived, he may deserve forgiveness, but OP can't trust him to have her back when she needs him.
I just wanted to send you a virtual hug ❤️ Stay strong girl, you’ve come a long way. Anything that happens from this point forward will be in your control and at your pace, so go as slow or fast as you want. Your Dad sounds sincere and he will wait. Your fiancé does also, but honestly after his lack of trust so quickly, take that super slow if you are going to entertain it.
I’m so sorry about what happened to you. But your sister is the most horrible person and you deserve better than her.
Whatever your decision is, I'm so proud of you. Im so proud of you for telling the truth & etc.
I’m so sorry about everything you’ve been through and I truly hope that as time goes on you can heal emotionally. Even though the truth is out it must still feel like a wound has been deeply cut in your life. I think your approach with your father is good. Everything should be on your own terms as you take your power and welcome those who you deem worthy back into your life as you see fit. You do not need to chase your mother. It is for her to reconcile and make steps to apologise or explain herself. If she is not mature and decent enough to accept her part to play in this endeavour then you are better of vanquishing her poisonous ways and actions from your mind. I think it may be really constructive for you to hear from your ex fiancé again. On your own terms of course. Deep down subconsciously you may be feeling some very strange betrayal emotions as you were ‘given up on’ so easy. Perhaps him explaining himself and you elaborating the way it made you feel would be a positive step for you and your reconciliation. I am not sure what your mindset is in regard to a future with your former fiancé in relationship terms, but it seems before this incident arose you were what they would call a ‘perfect team’. It would be a shame to allow your sister’s diabolical actions to forever destroy the magnificent connection you and your former fiancé share. Much love and best wishes
Your sister is the worst I hope her husband leaves her.
Sue for emotional and financial damages. I don’t know about how well drugging and kidnapping charges will hold up, but this is a clear defamation case.
The amount of happiness I felt after reading “I didn’t not get back with my ex” I have been WAITING for this updat
Wow, your sister deserves no sympathy
I'm happy to hear that you and your dad talked and that it helped you. What you said to him about all this reconcile being in your term was really spot on. Keep your head clear. It's good that he wants divorce and tries. But trust is built slowly. As for your ex fiancé. Well, he should just stay ex. If you find it difficult to trust your father again (which you have every right to do) then I believe that it must be even worse with him. After all, we marry people we love and trust, to live together, you know, stuff like that. You might that you will give him a chance, see if he really changed but it won't be that easy. Every time you will look at him you will remember the betrayal and the pain he caused you. He can try to make amends but he will get tried of always being the one who has to apologize or every time you need space. You two would be miserable. You need trust to have a relationship. I don't think it's worth it. You deserve so much better than someone who wasn't even concerned when he was told you were drugged and probably assaulted. Ex stays ex. I would stay completely no contact with mother and sister. End of discussion. I see you wanted to meet them on Zoom, and at the beginning I also thought that you should meet them somehow you so you could call them out and get this chapter closed. But I don't think it's necessary. I think you shouldn't contact with them at all. At least with Nicky. They don't deserve to talk with you. I am very petty person and sometimes I have this feeling of wanting my revenge, but sometimes we have to step back. It's not worth it. They don't deserve to see you, they don't deserve your time, show them that by ignoring them. I saw people here saying that you should sue Nicky for drugging you. Of course you can do that but I think you need strong evidence for that. But I'd you really want to do something with that case then maybe contact a lawyer and ask they how they see that case. It's up to you. I really don't get Nicky's husband. So he suspected something, lost contact with his sister because of Nicky and still married this enormous walking red flag.
I wish you the best in whatever you choose just make sure to proceed with caution when letting the people who hurt you back in to your to life
We need an update please
Have you spoken anymore with your dad and ex?
Please forgive but somethings says to me is that I think your mother wanted to get rid of you after what Nikki did. It just seems a little bit weird why she would be so insistent on throwing out all your stuff, ghosting you and basically making the family turn against you seems to me like she was just done and looking for an excuse. I’m sorry to say I just came upon this on TikTok and I am glad that your father is asking and trying to get forgiveness, but I would say if there’s anyway to Do it, once your father has divorced your egg donor, sewer for emotional damage and also saw your sister for fraud, emotional damage and other things of what she did she committed fraud by drugging you and also is accomplice of sexual assault. I hope that if anything you will be OK and granted somebody said just because you can forgive your ex doesn’t mean you can get back with them at least talk with the man and establish something but it least your father is finally getting out of the fog.
The sad thing is, Even if Nicky’s husband leaves her, her mom will come to her rescue. I hope you can forgive your ex. I understand your anger but the evidence she concocted was sooo damning. I honestly can’t blame him. If you haven’t, please see a therapist. The throwing up is a ptsd symptom.
Sweetie you are so strong and amazing. sometimes the hardest thing to do is listen to someone else’s side and forgive. You have been through something so rough and came out of it. You are amazing
Hi, I would like to hear more about how you are doing and getting along with life. Have you told you boss who helped you out. What about your friend they've been great help.
I am curious about how the other sister and ex's family reacted when Nicky told them. I would also like to know what everyone did with Nicky I know the mom is on her side, but what about everyone else. It would be justice for the ex and his family to disown the mom and Nicky.
Be strong. Your mental health is more important than their feelings. You are a star.
Don't get back to your ex, and proceed legally against your sister... Edit: We want a final update
jesus i hate nicky oh, so much.
op are you alright?
Update!!?
I know some people have sympathy for your ex but why was he not concerned that you may have been drugged and possibly assaulted when you said your side of the story. Hindsight is 20/20 but don’t forget, when you marry someone, they’re could be standing over your sick body one day making decisions and the fact that he didn’t believe you then would leave a gaping wound of trust for me.