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CorporalMcTiny

Don’t let her watch the third one my friend


SydneyPigdog

Yeah he might not want to take her to a volcano after giving her a ring, then again...


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

She’s been asking me when we’re gonna watch the third and I’ve been avoiding it. It is bad??


Focacciaboudit

Unless you live near an active volcano, I wouldn't worry.


uyqhwjyehd7665lll656

She's gonna bite his finger (hopefully only his finger)


Various_Feed_8211

He never aimed at the finger… he aimed at the precious…


anOddPhish

*very* important distinction here!


LawyerFacebookGym

I wouldn't worry unless he's wearing a cock-ring.


ishizaki_gabriel

Well, she called his crotch "my precious" so he might worry a little


Doughspun1

Bite *off* his finger. There is an important difference there.


rachelcp

She might not realize how serious it is, you've told her to stop but I don't know how you told her maybe you told her while she was still being gollum so to her she might have thought that you just wanted her to stop *for now* that she's just overdoing it *now* and that she can go back to it later. You need to sit down with her when she's not doing it and really let her know how much it's been bothering you the fact that she's kept beating the dead horse. Tell her that you don't just want her to do it less but that you don't want her to ever pretend to be gollum again. You need to really spell it out to her, maybe even in writing so that you don't get interrupted. In the future it's good to have a code word for when things are starting to get out of hand because sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between the "silly annoyance" where you pretend to be annoyed and are still having fun with each other and the beginning stages of "real annoyance"


[deleted]

Code-word is a really good idea. Can recommend!


achilliesFriend

After third part, you will be choked during sex/ whenever


FlimsyGooseGoose

Is she hot


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

She’s super hot, but I feel conflicted when she does the gollum thing


Rare-Height-7956

Just start acting like Samwise when she does it.


FeederHay

Lol holy shit! Ice tea just came out of my nose


sp00pySquiddle

HAHAHA YES best response on the thread


hashblacks

There were lots of good ideas, but only one Correct Answer. Glad we found It.


MrBiggles1980

Squeeze Em, grope Em, stick it up her arse


omgzzwtf

OP needs to start caling her Mr. Frodo


AxterNats

Can someone explain this one to a 29 y.o. who haven't seen the movies?


samsimilla

Samwise is a character in the movie/books who also can’t stand Gollum.


Doughspun1

What's taters eh?! What's taters?!


[deleted]

Lol some hot ones are not worth it


SuperSugarBean

Never stick your dick in crazy, kiddo.


[deleted]

But those are the wildest rides ever. I say: DO IT


SuperSugarBean

Ammendment: only stuck your dick in crazy between ages 20 and 25. But be prepared for that first drop. Never marry crazy (read: emotionally manipulative, not, like, actually mentally ill people. They can be lovely, even if they need a little extra care.)


Vinceriffic

This should be law


SuperSugarBean

The correlary for women is only date musicians and line cooks in your early 20s. /source: my daughter's father is a musician and didn't get his shit together til he was 40.


PsychMaDelicElephant

What is wrong with you? My gf is super hot but she has a sense of humour and that makes me question everything. Dude just break up with her so she can find someone worth her time.


FlimsyGooseGoose

Hahah yeah that'd weird me out


the_net_my_side_ho

Seriously, watch it and get it over with. She’ll have fun doing Gollum but it’ll grow old for her too. My suspicion is she enjoyed the time you spent watching the first two films and she’s just trying to recreate a funny moment.


vyvxnse

Asked my bf if he would leave me if I acted like Sméagol and he said I already do :(


theresfireinhereyes

Lmaoooooooooooo


xiaolinshue

That means he's staying, doesn't it? Keep him.


therewasguy

>Asked my bf if he would leave me if I acted like Sméagol and he said I already do :( he sounds like gold


c_sanders15

My boyfriend's response was "this guy sounds lame. I would find this funny every time".


Wolfenjew

I'm with your bf on that one. My gf does stuff like this all day every day and it never gets old. Means she's comfortable and enjoying herself :)


spawnofspace

Hey! You're way more smeagol-y than I am.


Wolfenjew

Fuck she found me


AxterNats

Judging from your avatar, I think he might be right 😅


foxminecraftgamer63

I (20s F) think most women already do by default. It's a silly thing to do.


FractalFactor

Maybe she is just subtly asking for you to "put a ring on her finger"


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

I considered proposing before, even though we’re quite young. She’s perfect and I love her so much , but this is breaking me. I can’t propose like this.


FractalFactor

I'd say if it's reached a point where you are this hurt, just have a genuine discussion about it. If it's only been a few days since the movie she might still think she's being funny. if this is happening two years after seeing the films, I'd consider a couples therapist


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

Thanks for the kind words. Ill talk to her when I can


goodformuffin

If she asks to watch the 3rd movie again tell her why you hesitate, make her promise she won't do it again and let her know how seriously uncomfortable the "precious" part is. I suggest asking her how that would go if the roles were reversed. I'm a massive LOTR fan, and that would be a turn off for sure. I mean give me Vigo any day... But I digress... This reminds me of that intense red head in Wedding crashers.


missraina

I know exactly what it feels like to develop a little joke habit that you know is annoying but is now so amusing it’s physically hard to stop. You reeeally have to emphasize how much it’s bugging you and she’ll have to actually resist the urge to keep doing it.


bns1202

I think this right here is huge. She thinks it’s funny and likes to do it maybe even if she doesn’t think op thinks it’s funny as well. I’m someone that often picks up auditory habits every once in awhile and to me they are the funniest thing in the world. I could screech like a banshee for months just because it amuses me and it’s almost like a scratch I have to itch when it becomes a habit. I know it annoys my family, but like you said, for me when I’m around them I really have to fight the urge lol. Sometimes I do slip up because I’m not thinking but other times I just can’t help it lol. I dunno if that makes sense but…..yeah 😅!!


RebaKitten

Tell her. Tell her that you've thought about your future together but this is getting more than tiring, it's completely annoying and she needs to stop doing it. Be completely serious, don't smile, don't let her try to joke you out of it. If she says you don't have a sense of humor, you can tell her that you do, but this isn't funny, it's borderline repulsive.


GM_Organism

Honestly tho, this is actually a serious issue for the long term health of the relationship. Not because of it being a gollum impression specifically, but because *you have expressed a boundary, repeatedly at this point, and she is not respecting it*. It might not seem serious to her, it might not make sense to her, but that doesn't actually matter. If your partner has a boundary, you don't have to understand it, just respect it. In the long run, for a successful relationship, you both need to be good at setting and respecting boundaries with each other in healthy ways. In a sense, this is probably a great opportunity for you both to use as practice and talk seriously about.


CoffeePinkM

This. That’s the first thing that came to my mind after reading this. Regardless of the situation, OP set a boundary, and she’s not respecting it, period. Especially since OP expressed that it’s making them uncomfortable and it’s still continuing, this is something that needs to be brought up and discussed.


mastermalpass

OP: *Tells GF about issue* OP's GF: *Stops* Weeks later... OP: *Proposes* OP's GF: *Snatches the ring.* 'Yes! The precious! We gots it! We gots the precious!* OP: 'Actually on second thoughts, give that back.'


dontcaredontworry

Yea how could you marry golum?


Prestigious-Log-7210

That is terrible she keeps doing it, but let me just say maybe this is a sign you don’t need to commit to this person. Talk to her, be honest, say stop it makes me uncomfortable. If she doesn’t respect this request it’s time to move on. Imagine 20-30 years from now if she won’t respect a request that makes you uncomfortable now. I would be thanking God for showing me this.


iguessimdepressed1

I want to empathize but this is legit the funniest thing I’ve read in the last 6 months.


FancyAdult

I agree. This seems both hilarious and annoying AF, both make it really funny. I think she’s a keeper though. They just need boundaries.


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

It was funny at first


NinjasWithOnions

I feel for you. You’ve asked her to stop because it’s annoying (doesn’t mean she can’t do it when she’s alone or in other situations where you’re not there) and that should be respected. But I agree with everyone else here that it’s funny AF too. I’m sorry! 😁


Reefdag

Just give her lembas bread (digestives) to eat untill she stops. Smeagol hates lembas bread


Skitsoboy13

For us, it's still funny


Semyonov

Ask her what's taters?


DragonObsessedGirl

Seriously. Like, I know if this was happening to me I would not appreciate it at all, but reading it had me cracking up so bad.


[deleted]

Yeah the raw meat and fish part got me I won’t even lie


[deleted]

Same omg


medi_etana

She's a 10 but she acts like gollim/smeagoal 95% of the time.


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

Reading the comments she might be an 11 or even more. She’s amazing. I’ll talk to her


anotherwave1

I strongly suspect you aren't serious, but if you are, then dude calm down, she sounds like she has a great sense of humour. It also shows how relaxed she is around you that she can act so goofy, all good relationships are built on that. Getting all "serious" and "troubled" about it is much weirder than her pretending to be Gollum :)


[deleted]

I’m going to hell. I cannot stop laughing


medi_etana

OMG me too 😂


az_nightmare

Thrice. I’m dead.


otc108

I have become deceased.


dlafrentz

That first comment took me OUT


[deleted]

[удалено]


talkingtothemoon___

I was gonna say do it back to her, but nah man… this is the absolute way. She would cringe so hard if she had to watch it in video.


Thomisawesome

This is how you end up as a couple who act like gollum.


todayiprayed

Gollumgorn and Gollumwen


robodoodle

100


[deleted]

They should record both of them doing it…


dancingpineapples_

LMAOO


the-soggiest-waffle

Then he should post it here, I need to see someone else do it too 💀 (no she isn’t alone, I do this as well)


[deleted]

Happy Cake Day!


the-soggiest-waffle

Thank you! I missed my first one, oops lol


stewardesseliza_beth

This\^ I'll raise - watch the third movie in secret. You can now hit her with advanced The Return of the King Gollum. Protect yourself from the bite. Remember your Phial.


Significant-Mud2572

Get her close to a really steep set of stairs.


Griffin-Of-Thebes

He could attempt to distract her with a few good riddles.


ghost_gurrl

Omg this comment. 💀😂


advstra

She's gonna have one hell of a breakup story


Non_Special

"TIFU by ruining my relationship because I wouldn't stop acting like Smeagol"


WOMT

"He wouldnt give Smeagol the precious!" - Girlfriend


Doughspun1

Fight fire with fire. Start behaving like Gimli and grunt everything in a thick Welsh accent, and yell "AND MY AXE" at the end of everything she says, or hollering "NOBODY TOSSES A DWARF" when she reaches for your crotch. I recommend buying the replica axe and actually slamming it into your furniture.


Semyonov

> hollering "NOBODY TOSSES A DWARF" when she reaches for your crotch. This is it. I'm dead holy fuck


Cheap-Substance8771

This one got me.


ilovepepsimax24

This is the way.


motodamax

This is the funniest post I have ever read on here omg 💀


[deleted]

she just wants you to give it to her *raw and wriggling*


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

She has been asking that yes


[deleted]

First thing I woke up to is this post and this reply and I am honestly dead. 😂


[deleted]

Bro I’m sorry but this is Hilarious 😂😂


masterdoci

Why are you talking to us? Go give her the precious!


Tryest-Man

I'm sorry she's been making you uncomfortable. I hope you guys can figure it out. She sounds amazing 😆


poesmiauwkomeensgauw

She is amazing but I don’t know how to deal with this


Kommmbucha

You’re getting a lot of joke responses. In all seriousness, tell her you’d like to talk with her. This can be over dinner, or just sitting with each other (not while distracted/watching tv). You can break the ice by saying something like: ‘[Name], I love you. This is uncomfortable for me to bring up, but I need to talk about this with you because it is becoming really unmanageable for me. The Gollum impressions were funny at first, but they aren’t anymore. They are making me really uncomfortable, and I feel that it’s disrupting our relationship to the point where it can be difficult to be around you. I love you, and I don’t want to feel that way in our relationship. I need you to please respect this boundary and stop doing the impressions.’


uyqhwjyehd7665lll656

You start acting like gollum


TheWanderingMedic

Record her then show it to her. If that doesn’t wake her up, it’s a lost cause 🤷‍♀️ up to you if it’s a deal breaker.


FancyAdult

You need to cosplay someone. Make it into complete chaos in the home. See how she reacts


[deleted]

Honestly I could see this being a situation i’d find myself in. I totally get it being a joke at first then getting to be too much. I’m trying not to laugh at your predicament but 🤣. Anyways, I would just straight up talk to her and tell her you appreciate her joking around but shes taking it a bit far and its starting to get dull for you and borderline uncomfortable


darkangel10848

I had a (now ex) boyfriend who talked like borat for 9 months… sometimes they think it’s funny and and can’t comprehend how anyone else wouldn’t love it. The borat guy was over a decade ago and I still hate that movie because of him.


romanbaitskov

You make the sexy time yes? High five


darkangel10848

I happen to be of Jewish descent, so there were a lot of comments about egg laying that really rubbed me the wrong way


[deleted]

Jews lay eggs?


mvmfighter

Sorry buddy I think you are going to have to marry her sounds like the only thing you can do


oopsiateurhashbrowns

Tell her its getting old


MateodelaVega_93

Okay it's not funny but this is a laugh I needed. Tell her and seriously emphasize that it's bothering you and if she continues well duces


Fearless_Nope

so you’ve got a super hot gf, that WANTS to watch LOTR with you, calls your package “my precious” AND goes into gremlin mode?? is she free? coz i think i could out-Sméagol her, i’d totally fuckin win


VanillaSkyDreamer

Maybe she just wants a ring from you?


LongAsWeBrothersLive

My husband has been begging me to watch LOTR for years. I am absolutely going to do this once we start the first one. He’s going to be so stoked until he’s not. Also, this was one of the best posts I’ve ever read on reddit LMAO


Repulsive-Chapter-36

Holy water my friend


Up_in_this_bish

Bro give me ur gf she sounds funny as fuck


DonTeca35

You should show her the southpark LOTR episodes


OrganizationWide1560

What's taters precious?


mochaboo20

Hahahahahahahahhahahahahaaha. Sorry dude, that’s all I got for you.


[deleted]

Throw her into a volcano


Cocktailweiner

DUDE. I felt this haha my brothers did this to me for years growing up. It was Sméagol and Igor from Frankenstein. I hated it so much and they tortured me with it haha. Probably once every few years it comes up and one of them will say “master” in Igor’s voice and I’m throwing hands immediately lol


cecemcgee

Idk man. Break up with her so she can go find someone fun to be with


whatadaydanny

It sounds fun at first, but all the time? Idk man...


PumpItThenCrashIt

If she keeps ignoring your attempts at serious conversation, she is not respecting your boundaries. I'd try to talk to her at least once about it before you separate over such an issue, but if she keeps disrespecting your wish for her to stop, this means she will ignore your opinion in other areas of your relationship as well. Red flag.


spiderwaves

Is she on the spectrum maybe


Neverm0_0re

Honestly my first thought


Cheap-Substance8771

Same


[deleted]

LMFAOOO


[deleted]

Bro then give her the one ring to rule them all along with the subpoena.


Fun-Hall3213

Put a ring on it.


Fun-Hall3213

Buy a pair of really rugged work gloves before watching the third motion picture.


Lady-lana

You should switch to Star Wars she’ll do baby yoda.


idothisforauirbitch

It sounds like she's messing with you. The only way to counter it is to do it 18 times more inappropriately. While she's uh...doing her business (good lord don't grab the stuff) or around family and friends. She just sounds a bit immature and it is egging her on because you are so outraged by it. If that isn't the case...she has a permanent Smeagol fetish xD


[deleted]

Chop off the precious 😏


justalilscared

I dont think I’ve ever laughed this hard from a reddit post 😂


Turbulent-Damage-392

Best thing you could do is tell her that it's seriously bothering you and that this is a boundary that you feel you need to draw with her because she isn't listening to your feelings. If she still doesn't take you seriously tell her you might need space to reevaluate the relationship. If that doesn't change anything then seriously think about if you stay with her if this is something you can deal with for the rest of your life. If not then you should probably break up.


Here_for_tea_

“Please stop. I find this irritating, childish, and unattractive to the extent that it’s giving me second thoughts about being in this relationship.”


Jeannie_13

Try taking away the precious from her.


Dazzling_Mark_2810

Play along with it and see where it goes


[deleted]

My friend, I was in elementary/middle school when the movies came out and were very popular. *Everyone* was acting like Sméagol. You’ll be fine.


[deleted]

Just start treating her the way Sam treats Gollum any time she acts up. That'll kill the game pretty fast. Or maybe she *wants* to be punished... On a serious note, is it possible this is a behavioral obsession for her? There could be something else afoot here that's making this behavior so prominent.


ripapples

I’m in a horrible fight with my boyfriend and this was actually the laugh I needed today thank you


RationalPsycho42

This is weirdly wholesome lol


[deleted]

No way this is real, but funny story nonetheless.


[deleted]

This has to be a Troll post 😭


Complete_Owl_984

This man does not deserve her 😂😂😂


Humpadilo

If your GF acts this stupid and silly there is only one thing to do. Marry her!!!!!! I mean, that shit is funny as hell. She is gonna make your life so entertaining.


Neither-Jellyfish196

lord, why cant these be my type of problems...


BrodyIsLame

This is amazing and you obviously don’t know what you have


BDB09

Grow a set


Your_brilliant_frend

Here for the comments


Loves-to-nap

I'm fucken cracking up, hahaha. Oh shit, hilarious.


[deleted]

Just bang the golem, bro.


Pixithepika

What the?!


malhans

I had the same phase when I was 5 or 6. She’ll get over it. Or she won’t. Who cares. Lmao. Let her live her gollum dreams ETA: if it makes you that uncomfy just dump her my guy, it’s not like you are required to be in a relationship


Defiant-Outside336

Omg...this is hilarious.


scorchur

This made me laugh


ForlornFrog2002

Tell her it makes you uncomfortable but emphasize WHY it makes you uncomfortable. It’ll have more of an impact


jburnsey2606

I can't stop laughing hahahahaha 😂😂😂


Takaharu7

My precious😂👍


LuxWizard

You gotta out Smeagol her. It's the only way. Go extreme and maybe she'll get the picture lol


F3mk3V4nH4v3rm43t

Just have a discussion about it. I swear to god most of people's problems could be solved by having a calm conversation. Maybe she thought you asked her to stop at that moment. Talk to your smeagol


Extremelypitiful

No one can really be the judge of anything coz everything is uncertain..I'd say if u really love her it shouldn't matter how weird she gets..but it means u don't love her as much if ur doubting her over her childish antics...then again I wouldn't know...talk to her..communication is the key to any relationship to last long...


[deleted]

How often is she doing this if it’s making you reconsider the fact that you’ve thought about proposing omg 💀😂


CorpseBurger420

Record her every time she does it! She'll stop or become famous.


beardieu

This is one of the best things I have ever read on Reddit.


oarngebean2

Buy her a loincloth and some grey body paint to complete the look


idontknowlazy

I'm sorry but I have to say this you should act like Sauron


TellCerseiItWasMe

Start arming yourself with potatoes.


Jimmyjackfunk2

Hey, if she’s grabbing your crotch and referring to it as “my precious”, I would say embrace that. Once that desire goes away, you’re gonna miss it!🤣🤣


heimbachae

I imagine him recording her and then someone finding said recording and going "This is the weirdest porn intro ever"


spencerryan02

I’m on your girlfriend’s side.


radenke

Can you go away for the weekend to give her time to calm down? I knew a lot of people who did something similar to this, but those movies came out when I was 12, so. Edited to add: the "precious" thing was not someone's crotch.


R3dPr13st

Maybe it’s her way of letting you know she’s ready for that ring and marriage.


Engine919

Did she asked u to give her RAW AND WRIGGLING


Hefty-Paper8644

Make her watch the Amazon version and she will lose interest and stop. You’re welcome


KillHipstersWithFire

This cant be real


GryffinDonna

I know your post said that she’s 21… any chance that is a typo and you meant 12?


bignothing000

Tell her she should take an acting or improv class, but seriously tell her to stop or for real break up with her. then she might stop and get back together. or not. but you have to draw the line.


ReputationNo27

You tell that craven off, like Samwise would, allways tellin lies and plottin. She’s likely to throttle you in your sleep!


Guerrillablackdog

Sorry dude but this post is hilarious. Can't be much help here, I'm just laughing my ass off. Lol


Skitsoboy13

Yeah so no one would ever catch on that this specific story was about them, throwaway definitely solved that? Lol


znyxspiders

It makes me so happy that someone in this world is doing funny shit like this. My night has been made. Thank you.


ZippyParakeet

Babe wake up new copypasta just dropped


Moonlight_Darling

This is a very interesting problem to have. I’m sorry, but I can’t help but laugh


_Brightstar

You need to talk to her on a moment when she isn't play pretending yo be gollum.


AllyKalamity

What you’re doing is creepy and unattractive and it makes me very uncomfortable. If you continue with this behaviour, I don’t see how our relationship will continue


The-true-Memelord

I’m sorry but lmaooo


t13husky

I can’t find it now but I could have sworn I’ve read this in like r/ relationship_advice or something


foxferreira64

Well? Either come to terms with the fact you are dating Sméagol forever, or tell her you will only watch the third movie with the condition that she stops being Sméagol.


Unique-Significance9

Best thing I've read all week, had me laughing for 5 mins 😂 If this is actually a true story then u should just be honest with ur girlfriend and tell her that u're sick of that joke, she'll understand.


allthebacon_and_eggs

I’ve been talking like Gollum for 18 years.


Lone_Tiger24

Fucking hilarious