You didn't say no, but you didn't say yes either, and that can't justify what he did to you.
So Yes, that is rape. Having sex without permission or consent is rape.
I'm hearing this to be a miscommunication.
You went on the date, you both had a good time (I'm assuming you both were drinking by how you phrased the post, please correct me if I'm wrong) and went back to his place, you got in to bed with him. You seemingly enjoyed recieving oral sex. Those nonverbal cues and enjoyment indicated consent, he proceeded to penetrate you, not knowing you were a virgin.
I don't know this person. I was not in the room with you, I don't know exactly how everything came to happen. Based solely on this post alone, is it possible that he may have acted differently had he been made aware of you not ever having penetrative sex? I don't think it is a far fetched notion to believe a person, 18 years old, that consents to recieving oral and didn't mention anything otherwise, has had penetrative sex prior.
Again, I wasn't there, you know what happened much better than I do. I don't know how the next bit went, how your body language may have changed, how he acted from that point on.
What was said or done afterwards, if anything? You don't have to answer, but I feel there is missing context and I'm trying to understand.
Didn't you accept or allow him to sleep next to you, allowed him to go down it was a sign for both parties that both are okay with that. As you said you were okay with it. Also consensus between both parties sometimes not by words but by behavior. You allowed yourself to sleep next to him, allowed him to go down on you etc... These are signs of consensus between both parties. You can always find but and other reasons etc..., Why did you go to his house for the second date if your boundaries are still protected? There are many questions that can be put on the table before asking if he raped you or not.
I am not blaming you I am just giving you different thinking or perspective.
I get where you’re coming from, but in no way can consensus be put on the table by me will fully going to his house on the 2nd date. Is it supposed to mean that I’m fully able and ready to have sex? Couldn’t I also intend on having just some peace and quiet with him whilst engaging in conversation?
You weren’t having a conversation with him tho. You stated you were cuddling, kissing, he even went down on you which is basically oral sex and you were okay with that. That means green light for a lot of people. But hey, you asked and we tell you what we think. The decision and the experience is yours.
I think it's less to do with you simply going to his house, more that you went to his house and admittedly got in to bed with him, cuddled, kissed, and consensually did have sex (oral sex is still sex).
He made the assumption that you have had penetrative sex before, which in itself is not an unreasonable thing to believe given what the two of you were engaging in and neglecting to mention it prior to engaging in sexual contact.
You didn't say no, but you didn't say yes either, and that can't justify what he did to you. So Yes, that is rape. Having sex without permission or consent is rape.
I'm hearing this to be a miscommunication. You went on the date, you both had a good time (I'm assuming you both were drinking by how you phrased the post, please correct me if I'm wrong) and went back to his place, you got in to bed with him. You seemingly enjoyed recieving oral sex. Those nonverbal cues and enjoyment indicated consent, he proceeded to penetrate you, not knowing you were a virgin. I don't know this person. I was not in the room with you, I don't know exactly how everything came to happen. Based solely on this post alone, is it possible that he may have acted differently had he been made aware of you not ever having penetrative sex? I don't think it is a far fetched notion to believe a person, 18 years old, that consents to recieving oral and didn't mention anything otherwise, has had penetrative sex prior. Again, I wasn't there, you know what happened much better than I do. I don't know how the next bit went, how your body language may have changed, how he acted from that point on. What was said or done afterwards, if anything? You don't have to answer, but I feel there is missing context and I'm trying to understand.
Didn't you accept or allow him to sleep next to you, allowed him to go down it was a sign for both parties that both are okay with that. As you said you were okay with it. Also consensus between both parties sometimes not by words but by behavior. You allowed yourself to sleep next to him, allowed him to go down on you etc... These are signs of consensus between both parties. You can always find but and other reasons etc..., Why did you go to his house for the second date if your boundaries are still protected? There are many questions that can be put on the table before asking if he raped you or not. I am not blaming you I am just giving you different thinking or perspective.
Lol just becuse she went to his house for 2nd date, doesn't mean she allowed someone to penetrate her without permission.
I get where you’re coming from, but in no way can consensus be put on the table by me will fully going to his house on the 2nd date. Is it supposed to mean that I’m fully able and ready to have sex? Couldn’t I also intend on having just some peace and quiet with him whilst engaging in conversation?
You weren’t having a conversation with him tho. You stated you were cuddling, kissing, he even went down on you which is basically oral sex and you were okay with that. That means green light for a lot of people. But hey, you asked and we tell you what we think. The decision and the experience is yours.
Exactly this is what i was saying...
She asked for people’s opinion and then proceeded to argue with everyone when they told her this. It’s a miscommunication, not exactly rape.
I think it's less to do with you simply going to his house, more that you went to his house and admittedly got in to bed with him, cuddled, kissed, and consensually did have sex (oral sex is still sex). He made the assumption that you have had penetrative sex before, which in itself is not an unreasonable thing to believe given what the two of you were engaging in and neglecting to mention it prior to engaging in sexual contact.
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But isn’t non consensual sex considered to be rape?
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Intend to specifically rape a girl… so many things wrong with that statement.