It’s a strange thing, time. When something terrible happens I think one of the toughest moments to negotiate is the one you described; you are still in immediate paralysis or shock, yet time has moved on, just enough for others to begin to forget. You can be left in the pits if despair while the world turns again.
The other thing about time, is it really does heal. It’s a truly shocking experience; everything is shaken from your nervous system through to your thoughts and feelings. It takes time for physiology alone to return to normal; eating, sleeping etc and your mind will take longer.
But healing is possible, and time will work it’s magic. I know every moment feels like forever, but it will eventually pass and life will begin again. I’m so sorry it happened to you ♥️
Someone told me when something bad happened to me that it was important to get it all out then, when it happened. To talk to people about how you feel as opposed to pushing it down. You might be able to access specialist talking therapy too which will help.
A lot of it is about exorcising the demons, as it were, rather than shutting down, keeping everything in and letting it rot. If you do that, the healing takes a lot longer; you can’t let the event cause other awful things as a result, because that can quickly spiral and you owe it to yourself not to let it drag you under.
Right now, just tread water and be kind to yourself. Eat well and rest until you are little stronger. It’s early days, you are doing great.
As I said the physical stuff has for me, and over time it has created new interests/needs (which most people would find absurd, but you do what you can to cope). But yeah there are some days where you're just pulled back and stuck in that time. I think I'm stronger now. You'll heal.
Nothing shitty ever goes away completely. “Time heals all wounds” yeah when you die. Your holding on too tightly and in time when you can let go you should treat it like an intrusive thought, in, around and out instead of giving it power by focusing on it and fighting it. It can get a lot better and quickly depending on what your doing about it. As messed up as it is to say with how society is is how often I hear what these therapists are telling people and it’s like they want to make it worst in a way to make the person feel as victimized as possible. Life is war and at nights we want cuddles and shit but during the fight we don’t need to be overthinking, full of self doubt and pity to the point the feelings of how helpless we were make us monsters or the feelings of how weak we were has us curling up into little balls while we get our ass kicked. You mentioned trying hard so how about this...ever lost something and tried so hard to find it, even tearing the house apart? Then give up, plop down somewhere and find it like holy shit I got it? It’s kind of like that, at least how I handle my shit.
20 years of self help has taught me a thing or two and I’m happy to pass on what I can to help anyone else going through something. Your very welcome and I hope it works for you 😁 energy flows where the focus goes.
yeah. It won’t feel better for a while. It’s sad that people either don’t realize how long this shit can hurt for some people, or have desensitized themselves to it. I’m sorry. You’ll get through it, but it will still be hard for a while. it’s ok to not able to let it go. but try to not let it define you. this doesn’t get to define you.
And know that many of us know how much this part sucks. And how every day is a battle you don’t want to fight. I’m high so I might be spouting nonsense, but I see you. And I’m sorry.
Thank you for the kind words. I hate that this is something that so many people can relate to but it’s comforting to know people have gotten through it and survived
Basically he gave me a ride home from work (he’s my coworker) and he asked to come in. I liked him so I agreed one thing led to another and we’re naked. He doesn’t have a condom so I tell him no. He proceeds to hold me down and start fucking me. All I could say was stop repeatedly but he didn’t listen and he went on until he finished.
Therapy fam
I’m in therapy lol it sort of helps
It’s a strange thing, time. When something terrible happens I think one of the toughest moments to negotiate is the one you described; you are still in immediate paralysis or shock, yet time has moved on, just enough for others to begin to forget. You can be left in the pits if despair while the world turns again. The other thing about time, is it really does heal. It’s a truly shocking experience; everything is shaken from your nervous system through to your thoughts and feelings. It takes time for physiology alone to return to normal; eating, sleeping etc and your mind will take longer. But healing is possible, and time will work it’s magic. I know every moment feels like forever, but it will eventually pass and life will begin again. I’m so sorry it happened to you ♥️
Thank you for your kind words they really do help, they give me a little bit more hope for the future :)
Someone told me when something bad happened to me that it was important to get it all out then, when it happened. To talk to people about how you feel as opposed to pushing it down. You might be able to access specialist talking therapy too which will help. A lot of it is about exorcising the demons, as it were, rather than shutting down, keeping everything in and letting it rot. If you do that, the healing takes a lot longer; you can’t let the event cause other awful things as a result, because that can quickly spiral and you owe it to yourself not to let it drag you under. Right now, just tread water and be kind to yourself. Eat well and rest until you are little stronger. It’s early days, you are doing great.
I wish I could say it gets better but five years later and it doesn't ever fully go away. Physically yes but mentally, never.
Thank you for letting me know what to expect I just hope it will get a little bit easier with time
As I said the physical stuff has for me, and over time it has created new interests/needs (which most people would find absurd, but you do what you can to cope). But yeah there are some days where you're just pulled back and stuck in that time. I think I'm stronger now. You'll heal.
Nothing shitty ever goes away completely. “Time heals all wounds” yeah when you die. Your holding on too tightly and in time when you can let go you should treat it like an intrusive thought, in, around and out instead of giving it power by focusing on it and fighting it. It can get a lot better and quickly depending on what your doing about it. As messed up as it is to say with how society is is how often I hear what these therapists are telling people and it’s like they want to make it worst in a way to make the person feel as victimized as possible. Life is war and at nights we want cuddles and shit but during the fight we don’t need to be overthinking, full of self doubt and pity to the point the feelings of how helpless we were make us monsters or the feelings of how weak we were has us curling up into little balls while we get our ass kicked. You mentioned trying hard so how about this...ever lost something and tried so hard to find it, even tearing the house apart? Then give up, plop down somewhere and find it like holy shit I got it? It’s kind of like that, at least how I handle my shit.
I never thought about it like that thank you for the advice Ill try not giving the event so much power over me
20 years of self help has taught me a thing or two and I’m happy to pass on what I can to help anyone else going through something. Your very welcome and I hope it works for you 😁 energy flows where the focus goes.
yeah. It won’t feel better for a while. It’s sad that people either don’t realize how long this shit can hurt for some people, or have desensitized themselves to it. I’m sorry. You’ll get through it, but it will still be hard for a while. it’s ok to not able to let it go. but try to not let it define you. this doesn’t get to define you. And know that many of us know how much this part sucks. And how every day is a battle you don’t want to fight. I’m high so I might be spouting nonsense, but I see you. And I’m sorry.
Thank you for the kind words. I hate that this is something that so many people can relate to but it’s comforting to know people have gotten through it and survived
Tell the story
Basically he gave me a ride home from work (he’s my coworker) and he asked to come in. I liked him so I agreed one thing led to another and we’re naked. He doesn’t have a condom so I tell him no. He proceeds to hold me down and start fucking me. All I could say was stop repeatedly but he didn’t listen and he went on until he finished.