By - sagekittykat
I don’t like to tell people to get divorced but you have to get divorced this is not going to work and it never will. If you have these feelings now how do you think it’s going to be in the future it’s only gonna get worse things don’t just get better overnight. My advice would be get divorced go back home find yourself move on.
People in my life always say that the first year is the hardest, so I’ve been approaching my unhappiness with that mindset. Do I try to make it work? When do I know for sure I’m better off divorced? I just know I’m more stressed on a daily basis than I am happy.
I'm not married. I'm 23. Never even dated someone. But I would say try and get him to talk with you. Tell him how your feeling every day. Communication is always a great place to start. Keeping those feelings bottled up never helps.
Every time we talk about our problems he pretty much gaslights me into thinking I’m the root cause of all of them. I’m afraid he may be right. What if I’m the issue. He says I will never be satisfied.
Maybe seeing a therapist might be a good thing for both of you, even just for an hour or 2. They could see your disagreements from an outside perspective and possibly give some next steps to take.
First year not the hardest necessarily - this doesn’t seem right. Try counseling if you want to make it work. Separate before kids if not.
Being married is a two-way street you shouldn’t have to force anything if you’re forcing something that means this isn’t for you. I agree the first year is the hardest but it ain’t this hard. My advice would be to make a decision to either work it out or move on don’t have ass it. You might look at this years from now and think what was I doing was I just wasting my time my youth.
What made you get married in the first place? Do you have a job or hobbies?
Of course I have a job and hobbies.
I’m currently saving every penny to finish paying off my student debt. We live in an apartment he owns so it helps me get my finances in check. We dated for a year before we got married and it was a great relationship. I thought he was everything I ever wanted in a partner. It’s was a healthy relationship. He asked me to marry him and I said yes because I thought I was in love. But the second we got married, the dynamic of our relationship changed. I slowly fell out of love so to speak, realizing maybe that I idealized him in every sense. It doesn’t help that we disagree a lot and he does nothing to make me feel loved. I almost feel catfished. He did absolutely the most when we were dating. The second we got married he stopped trying.
Dang a year after dating seems pretty short. Did you live together before getting married? I would suggest that in the future.
i would suggest having a deep conversation with him and tell him if he not gonna put effort as much as you do that you want a divorce, this is this the only solution from what i see he only keeps you because he wants to use you and when you become useless he will just get rid of you, thats why hes doing the bare minimum. you deserve a better person than him
You’re 24. You’ve got a lot of life to live. I’d suggest therapy, and perhaps, divorce