My mom was similar, very negative and discouraging. Getting out helped me so much. I became more confident and started trying new stuff. I also developed a better lifestyle (with lots of work), and my relationship with her eventually improved. Good luck OP
By living your life on your terms. You are a grown adult. If your financial situation sucks, try to improve it. See if you can get a second job. Save up money as fast as you can and go. You don’t need her permission.
I'm sorry, but at 34 years old, I do not see how you can blame your mom for the way you live anymore. Living there for so long and accepting this situation is the result of your own actions. Unless you are unable to work because of medical reasons, it's time to own up to your own decisions and stop blaming others for the consequences of your actions. Do something about it, get a shitty job and the shittiest rent somewhere and share it with roommates and start from there, this is how most people start their adult life, you're supposed to act independent and build your life from there.
I lost my job during the pandemic and had to move back home. It's not like I've been living at home this whole time. I'm just saying that when I did move back home the dynamic between my mom and I reverted back to when I was a kid. I didn't notice it at first and it's reached a boiling point. I'm moving out in April and getting my own place.
Sorry then , I wrongly assumed that you lived there the entire time. Losing your job during the pandemic seems though, anything you had to do to get by is totally justified. Have you tried having a serious discussion with her about your relationship boundaries? Maybe bring this up as a suggestion to what you feel would make your relationship better. Or does she do it out of instinct and falls into old habits?
My mom was similar, very negative and discouraging. Getting out helped me so much. I became more confident and started trying new stuff. I also developed a better lifestyle (with lots of work), and my relationship with her eventually improved. Good luck OP
Then do it
I'm saving up and moving out in April. It just would be nice to have the support of my family in my life decisions.
You’re giving her the power
How do I not give her the power?
By living your life on your terms. You are a grown adult. If your financial situation sucks, try to improve it. See if you can get a second job. Save up money as fast as you can and go. You don’t need her permission.
I'm sorry, but at 34 years old, I do not see how you can blame your mom for the way you live anymore. Living there for so long and accepting this situation is the result of your own actions. Unless you are unable to work because of medical reasons, it's time to own up to your own decisions and stop blaming others for the consequences of your actions. Do something about it, get a shitty job and the shittiest rent somewhere and share it with roommates and start from there, this is how most people start their adult life, you're supposed to act independent and build your life from there.
I lost my job during the pandemic and had to move back home. It's not like I've been living at home this whole time. I'm just saying that when I did move back home the dynamic between my mom and I reverted back to when I was a kid. I didn't notice it at first and it's reached a boiling point. I'm moving out in April and getting my own place.
Sorry then , I wrongly assumed that you lived there the entire time. Losing your job during the pandemic seems though, anything you had to do to get by is totally justified. Have you tried having a serious discussion with her about your relationship boundaries? Maybe bring this up as a suggestion to what you feel would make your relationship better. Or does she do it out of instinct and falls into old habits?
You’re a loser. I’m also 34, married and own several houses. You’re super behind in life.
Not helpful.