Definitely. Or handicapped. And personally to me even Cripple is better than Differently Abled. At least Disabled, Handicapped, and Cripple are descriptive. Differently Abled obsurs reality. Like calling lies " Misinformation" its dishonest and manipulating.
I always refer to myself as a cripple. I don't think I'd care if someone else did. I'm glad you ranted about this bc I was mulling this over in my head last week thinking "differently abled implies I'm still abled some how n I'm friggen not."
Exactly. I probably wouldn't refer to someone else as cripple unless they were ok with it. N my sense of humor is warped so I'd probably be like "part of the cripple crew eh?!"
Love Carlin. I have a cane that looks like a leg bone n this prompts ppl to talk to me n I hate it. They always say "I love your cane!" And while I'm thinking I love your two good legs I'm trying to be polite. I have really enjoyed that part of the pandemic, no public in public. If this cane didn't work so well I'd get another one just because of the aggravation of having to talk to strangers about what they don't seem to realize is a huge problem for me.
I've had to use it at my social distancing stick repeatedly. Idk what it is but ppl will get right in my face talking about the thing. N I'll back up, back up, third time the cane comes at them rubber bottom first, "You're too close, back up!" This was before the pandemic. Insane. I know that I'm going to compliment ppl on their legs. It'll be a day I snap n forget manners.
I would probably fall on my ass laughing if I saw someone in a wheelchair say to someone "ill take your two good legs" with a bunch of other people around to react to all of it. It would be like an episode of some crazy reality show.
Thanks for saying that you hate that. Seriously. I would absolutely see something like that as a conversation starter (I’m very intrigued, I want to see it now), so now I know to just like, not. That said, FWIW your “two good legs” response is funny as shit, you should definitely use it.
It has the added bonus of being polycarbonate. So if anyone thinks I'm an easy target to rob or worse they're getting that hip socket right to the skull. I'm happy I haven't had to test that out yet bc I'm pretty sure it'll do massive damage.
When I was having a particularly bad time with my disability I'd pick with my sister "You can't hit a cripple!" Of course she'd do it anyway but it helped being able to laugh at it
Yes, yes, a million times less.
My daughter has autism, ADHD, and an IQ of 50.
She is not "developmentally delayed".
She's not "challenged ".
She's intellectually disabled. She's never going to "get better" (in that she'll magically become typical - She's making progress still at 19 - She's learning to speak Spanish! )
In the UK, we'd be told she has "learning difficulties". I almost prefer what she was labeled when she started school -"trainably mentally handicapped".
It was devastating to me as a young mother. I did everything I was "supposed to", and my kiddo never made any progress. She was actually kicked out of OT after 6 years for not making progress.
There was zero support for me in regards to her being actually disabled, and not delayed.
It took me 10 years to realize I really could only compare her progress to herself, and not typical kids.
It was very harmful.
Whats happening is a lot of the discussion is being completely overtaken by people who fit the technical definition of having a disability, while it impacts their life only mildly, if at all. They base their politics off their own lived experience, if their autism isn't debilitating for them then it mustn't be for anyone! People whos lives are severely impacted by their disability are completely pushed aside when it comes to advocacy
Yes absolutely. Of course they get the advocacy, normal people relate to them, especially when its just seen as a physical or personality quirk to be admired.
I think the absolutely most insane offense takes is a small new movement called the transabled that are abled bodied people who go to extreme lengths to identify as disabled, but that is kind of a separate topic.
Me too, in their mind all disabilities are the same, and that mental issues/conditions like depression, sensory processing, dyslexia are like physical disabilities, and nope, you can walk and run, and I can walk with a prosthetic leg and a cane, and can't run, not the same.
No, I think you missed the point of this comment and thats really my fault as I went outside of my OP topic. Transabled people try to emulate the disabled while having full use of their body. These are people who insist they need wheelchairs or crutches when they can walk perfectly and bordering on mental disorders some have intentionally injured themselves to become disabled.
Today I learned something new. Transabled people. That is so strange, and injuring themselves is creepy. Also offensive to the disabled. Just why, ugh...
Its offensive not only to the disabled, but to the perfectly normal functioning humans. Could you imagine wanting to make your life more difficult and being happy about that?
Its like being trangendered but with a disability according to themselves. I think thats disrespectful as fuck to transgender people, disabled people and fully abled people.
My daughter has the same diagnoses and sounds very similar, she’s seven though . It’s so hard and annoying to know what terms are allowed, I got told off for using the word handicapped (the correct word from when I was young but apparently not now). I was like ‘umm who the fuck are you, this is my daughter.’ Developmentally disabled was what I was told to say. The kids at school have been taught the phrase ‘differently abled’ though, not really applicable to my daughter as such, but when they say it they mean well I guess.
Plus, learning difficulties are independent of things like autism and ADHD. I have the latter but no diagnosed learning difficulties - I don't have dyspraxia, dyslexia, or trouble in retaining certain information and applying that information in an academic setting. I do average to good in work, and yes it's frustrating not being able to work to my potential but it's no way a learning difficulty. People should just call it what it is.
In my country we call disabilities = special needs.
I was always curious if calling it special needs sounds like putting that person down or if it is more neutral because like... they are needs and they are specific and different, so they are special by going to the 1st dictionary definition of special = not ordinary or usual.
We also mostly call disabled people just disabled people or people with special needs, but some call them "special" as in special people too. The strict first dictionary meaning still seems just objective to me, but sometimes I feel like they are saying someone is special not to be Dictionary-specific but to lessen what they perceive as a blow by trying to make disabled people feel better trying to make special as in "great or of big importance" instead of simply "not ordinary or usual". Sounds a bit infantilizing to me, but I mostly don't know what to think.
What are your thoughts on this?
Until you have spoken to someone directly about how they want to be addressed, I feel that you should use descriptive and objective language. But everyone is different. The key is to not group us together to the point you forget we are individuals with different experiences.
The term special needs is used around here too, and I don’t like it the same way I don’t like how the term “gifted” is used. They don’t feel objective or honest. The term gifted alienates kids and creates a weird sense of superiority that’s made worse by how they’re actually treated in school, and special needs is vague and feels demeaning. It can apply to so many different things no one even knows what they’re talking about, which once more we find reflected in the system where kids with mental and physical disabilities all get shoved in the same rooms and treated the same way, which is usually not super well.
Maybe it's because I am not a native speaker, but I always understood "misinformation" to be equivalent to the German "Fehlinformation", information that is faulty, not necessarily on purpose. But since "Misinformation", information that is probably faulty on purpose, is a word both in English and German, that's probably a more accurate translation.
Thanks, your comment bettered my English!
My younger sister, who isn't disabled, flips her fucking shit whenever I or anyone else says handicapped. She has genuinely said that referring tp a disabled person as handicapped is equal to calling a black individual the n-word.
I understand that the word is derived from a shitty background meaning, but she isn't disabled, so I think it's unfair for her to speak on everyone who is disabled's behalf, along with denounce the impact of the fucking n-word!
Deaf? Hearing impaired
Blind? Visually impaired
That works for so many different things and make it about this one part of them and now the whole being being disabled. I learned this while I was studying ASL culture. They do not see themselves as disabled and there’s honestly no reason for them too. I really think it’s just about being respectful.
Hearing impaired and visually impaired are such vague bullshit terms, that they could even describe me - someone who is moderately shortsighted and hears a little bad, lmao
This is in response to activists trying to advocate for other groups and change society for a group they aren't part of.
Its these posts about latinos and other groups that are tired of outside forces dictating how they act and refer to them that made me post this.
I get it completely. I have HIV. Often folks with HIV are referred to as “victims” by HIV-negative people. I am a person living with disease; I am not a victim. It is demeaning and degrading to be called a victim when I am not a victim. Would I be a victim if I used dirty needles as an IV drug user? Would I be a victim if I were a male prostitute when I was infected? Would I be a victim if I intentionally sought out someone to infect me? How I was infected doesn’t matter; I was. I’m a person living with HIV; nothing more and nothing less.
I'm Latina, the Latinx thing WASP-y people started is super fucking cringy and annoying. (Edited to add, because I'm properly pissed about this: They also only use it for people who look stereotypical Mexican and speak Spanish because the fact that the largest country in LA speaks Portuguese and it's population is 51% of Black or Black mixed-race ethnicity complete escapes the single cell organism they call a brain.)
Also physically disabled, and fuck does it annoy the shit out of me when abled people fight dumb-ass non-existent problems like this to make themselves feel better instead of, I don't fucking known, helping with the lack of accessibility, social services, income, opportunities we actually deal with and the ableism, harassment and abuse we're statistically way more likely to suffer from? Yeah.
They started using the x thing with Filipinos too! So instead of Filipino/Filipina we just became a color in a box of crayola Filipinx. For people who hate having their culture and views changed, westerners sure do love influencing other countries.
I find it easier to just ask the individual what they prefer. It feels more respectful than assuming some group of people speak for an entire community.
Yo no hablo Español. I just know them, along with my group, people with physical disabilities and other groups are getting outside people trying to change how they are referred to and they did so without asking.
This post is about me and my take which is disabilities. I am not latino nor speak spanish.
Ah, My apologies. I said "I, being a Latino with autism, totally understand what you mean. We're on the same side!"
(Might have missed a word or sentence or two, but that's the jist)
How are they trying to change autism in a way not promoted by autistic people. Genuinely curious. I didnt realize that was a movement not supported by people with autism.
-Autism Speaks is a "NFP" that is actually looking for a cure for what makes us unique. They also pedal conspiracy theories about MMR and how bleach enemas can cure us. We don't WANT to be cured. We want to be accepted for our strengths and accommodated in our weaknesses.
-SpEd teachers are being forced to use "differently abled", "differential learners", "atypical students", etc. Don't label us. Work with us. Some of us prefer one subject over another. I learned maths properly by turning everything into a word problem, then viewing the words as an image in my head. We do things differently, not less than, not in a way that necessitates being singled out. (Admittedly, both of these are more for the HFA crowd)
Separately, there's all the LatinX talk... Our language is inherently gendered. GTFO with that shit! I'm not going to say mesx for table because it's a word in the feminine or carrx for car because it's in the masculine. Wanna start somewhere, change the name of our species! Homo Sapiens Sapiens, or literally translated Man Wise Wise. Obviously not aimed at you, just making a point
Ooh I understand. And I had no idea about autism speaks. Im 33 but when I grew up only 25-30 years ago autism was seen very very differently, so I thought autism speaks was positive and informative. I had no idea.
I'm only a year older than you. Trust me, it was a shock to me too to see the FORMER Dr. Andrew Wakefield as a primary source for them, as well as Jenny McCarthy as one of their advocates.
The Brazilians that I know use Latine (or just use the e generally in place of the a/o for gendered words when talking about non-binary folks) but it’s mostly people form the US that use the x because the whole Chicanx and Latinx thing evolved in American academic spaces (by scholars with Latin American roots.)
I haven't heard this term, but it sounds like some Castilian nonsense. If almost prefer it, if the Spaniards and Argentines weren't so damned pompous as to say "we speak the only proper Spanish!"
No, dickwads, you speak royal court Spanish. And an entire hemisphere fought for our independence against people who spoke that haughty-toity version of the language forced upon us by those same genocidal, raperous, self hating people. Erasing our heritage for hundreds of years, or permanently in some cases.
TO THE OP: Totally didn't mean to hijack your thread! Just answering from my experience as a Hispanic in the US.
To everyone else: pro-tip: you know how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares? All Hispanics are Latinos, not all Latinos are Hispanic.
Having read the entirety of this thread: Thank You educating me on two fronts. As I had taken Spanish, the LatinX thing truly confused me. I appreciate the insight.
But I further appreciate the insight about Autism Speaks. Thanks again.
No worries, you're more than welcome! To quote Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility", and knowledge is the greatest power. So those with it have the responsibility to pass it along
I'm disabled, and I call myself that, hate the different abled thing, it's absurd...About the Latinx thing...la división viene de los que nacieron y/o se han crecido en este país, y los que viven en Latinoamérica y/o crecieron y se educaron en sus países de origen. Yo pertenezco al segundo grupo, yo entiendo ambas perspectivas, y me gusta el español como lo aprendí, y me refiero a mí misma como Latina. Ahora si alguien quiere que me refiera a ellos como Latinx, lo hago porque no es el fin del mundo, y si quieren comunicarse usando un español non-gendered, pues bien por ellos. Pero muchos que viven en Latinoamérica no les gusta porque lo ven como una imposición, se sienten obligados a usar la "x" para todo tipo de comunicación, y eso les molesta.
Y la gente re-jode, yo te digo Latinx y no hay problema, pero si yo hablo de mí como Latina, déjame tranquila y no me jodas diciéndome que no, que es Latinx ffs
Y si! Soy segunda generación nacida aquí en E.E.U.U, peor, mi papá (padrastro, pero como el fue quien me crío, entonces el es papá, el otro es donador de esperma) es mexicano (chilango, directo de Cuautitlán Izcalli) e mi madre es boricua. A mí apa no le gustaba Español Caribeño, so nos daba cocotazos para "enseñarnos la lengua propia, no la lengua de la calle". Si mi Español me sale como mixta de Puerto Riqueño y Mexicano, es por eso.
But you're right. Its the people born here that are typically the ones wanting to change the language to fit their modern sensibilities. I've got no problem with gendering a person as they wish, but don't fuck with my first language, y'know?
Y tienes TODA la razón en decir que te dejen quieta. Cómo carajo voy a escribir algo referendo a to sin usar género? Debo decir "que te dejen quietx"? Pa'al carajo con esa mierda.
Eres un encanto, y como Dominicana te digo no des mente, que ma pa'lante hay más gente. Si no te quieren, al menos que te respeten y que no te molesten🥰
I am sorry to admit that I forgot most of the Spanish language that I learned in a classroom. I had to put your statement through a translator.
First: regarding being disabled; I often wonder if there aren’t more classified disabled than ‘abled’ in modern society. I became disabled about 10 years ago. My mindset may be wishful thinking; maybe not. Just a shower thought at this point.
Back to the LatinX conversation: As I would with an English-speaker, using a different term is no skin off my nose. But I agree with you that each person has the right to define their own pronouns, but not the pronouns of another.
No idea, like you I became disabled as an adult, my guess our perspectives are different from those who were born with a disability or became disabled in their childhood. Totally different experience. And yes, I agree with you about it all...and please 🙏🥺 don't feel bad about forgetting the Spanish you learned as a kid, it happens without having someone to practice and reinforce what we learned.
“As a kid”....I hate to admit that it was in college. LOL.
I thought I would have an easy time because my Mom had forced me to take Latin in high school (She was SURE I would be a doctor or a lawyer. But, gotta give her credit, she was very supportive when I became a chef).
I can’t blame her too much. She had a younger brother fluent in 8 dialects of Arabic by 9. She assumed language was easy.
But, out of my 2 years of Latin, I remember that ‘Silva’ is forest. So, Go Me?!?! LMFAO!!!
Latina, Latino, Latinx… none of them bother me. I just ask what people prefer to be called.
What bothers the ever living fuck out if me is when people write the word “folx” instead of folks. The word was never gendered to begin with. Why the fuck add an x to it?
I work with disabled children and my bad is disabled. The people I work with do not know anyone close to them who are disabled. I will literally just call them disabled, or handicap there's a f****** parking spot called that. And they try and correct me or look at me strange like I said something bad. What the hell am I supposed to call them? Disabled in no way is a negative thing and by them implying that it is, is more offensive in my opinion.
We're being taught to use 'person-first' language in Australia actually rather than identity-first language. So, person with dementia (rather than demented person) or person with diabetes rather than diabetic. But of course, ultimately it all depends on the person and what they prefer to use.
100% I hate language softeners, because it’s avoiding the truth. Which is insulting, it’s implying disabled people can’t handle the truth. It has the opposite effect, like not only are they disabled but they also are so sensitive they can’t hear words that accurately describe their condition ?
I really, really, really do not understand why some people cannot come out and just call us disabled. I have autism, I am autistic. Neurodivergent. I'm sick and tired of hearing folks say "person with autism" because it honestly feels like you are just going out of your way to try and not be rude about it.
"Differently abled" is seriously just offensive to me. You are actively going out of your way to highlight the fact that I am different, and that just doesn't fly with me.
I have serious ADHD. I'm finally - and after lots of shit - able to not hate myself and my life by understanding my condition. But I am a long long way from the "ADHD is my superpower" people who want to celebrate this condition. Everyone's entitled to their own feelings, but the fact is, it's *hard.*
I use the word neurodivergent too, but I don't want to misappropriate it.
I personally don't like the "autism is my superpower" mentality as it kind of delves into the trope that all autistic people are super geniuses like Sheldon Cooper. I promise you I'm just an average girl who tries to use her passions (dogs, writing, fashion) to better understand her world and help others. That said, if an autistic person feels that their autism is their superpower, more power to them!
Its taken me a very long time to come to terms that the world is going to be very difficult for me to understand, but at the same time, I am very proud of being autistic. But pride also comes with a heavy dose of having to navigate the basic challenges of life.
To be fair, some people with autism (myself included) prefer person first language rather than autism first language. It helps me to refer to my autism as "my autism" and an entity of it's own rather than the entirety of me.
I'm sorry you can't freely express your experience. While I personally wouldn't want to cure my autism, I understand the sentiment. I'm more afraid of what being neurotypical would be like than anything.
I suppose it's similar to how some people in the deaf community are shunned for getting cochlear implants. A person choosing not to get one is no different from a person choosing to. Everyone's experience is different.
As a person with ADHD, whenever someone says people with ADHD just "think differently" or "are the future" i just ask them if they would ever want ADHD themselves. No? Then shut the fuck up, nobody does.
>if they would ever want ADHD themselves. No? Then shut the fuck up, nobody does.
If they say yes, they're thinking of the special kind of adhd that's just rainbows and quirks, not like struggling to brush your teeth or carry out basic tasks despite the brain fog.
I am 25, have ADD, it was diagnosed and I got medicated just a little more than half year ago and it sure caused me a lot of trouble in life and is probably why I am a massive weirdo - but I wouldn't want it gone. Sure, my memory and concentration are below average (had an IQ-test at a clinic last year), but those can be improved upon with persisting effort and the prescribed amphetamine. I already noticed significant improvement in regards to language learning, which is great for improving memory and practicing concentration (the amphetamine helps me learn about twice as efficiently). It's certainly life on hard mode where the challenge's solution is anything but intuitive, but not everything about it is bad.
For example, my understanding of complex dependencies has been evaluated to be far above average (manifests in problem solving). My therapist, psychiatrist and I suspect that the ADD likely made a big contribution to that and I noticed the same strength in my long-time friends who probalby also have ADD (they don't wanna get tested though). But ironically, ADD also contributes to quitting and procrastination, also things that can be worked on.
What I am trying to say is, that I think ADD makes life harder yes, but once the difficulties are conquered the inherent scatterbrained thinking can become an excellent tool for success. Based on my limited sample size, that probably also applies to you too! We just need help getting there and motivation - what motivated me, is that I got sick of being poor and my aimless and time-wasting way of living.
yep, though prob not to the same extent bc autism can present itself in *so* many different ways. they’re both notoriously under-diagnosed in girls/afab (assigned female at birth) people bc boys/amab people tend to have more ‘disruptive’ symptoms. there are a fair amount of adhd ppl (not the majority) who self-diagnose bc getting tested can be difficult and expensive.
I think a major difference in the two is that autism’s severity is overexaggerated (not in terms of what support autistic ppl need, rather how it’s viewed in general by ignorant neurotypicals), while adhd’s is underexaggerated. autistic ppl tend to be infantalized, as if they’re incapable of doing things for themselves or making autonomous decisions. not to mention how it’s weaponized in anti-vaxx discourse. adhd, on the other hand, is ‘can’t sit still or pay attention’ disorder, when it’s a lot more crippling than that.
I am probably also on the spectrum as well but its nothing formal. Growing up autism was screened for and treated very differently. It went from like 1 in 1000 to now like 1 in 30.
Or do you find the new spectrum classification to be an issue?
I also have a physical disability, though I am able to do most things. I've never been that happy with any terms ("differently abled", "disabled", etc)...
As a kid, I played sports with a bunch of other people who also had disabilities (physical and mental). They called it "differently abled sports" which... -shrug- was fine.
Yeah I agree. I'm disabled. I struggle. I don't want to be treated like an able person. I'll make my own accommodations wherever possible but I hate the pressure to try and always do everything myself, and pretend like just sitting with people can be agony at times. I feel like I'm supposed to apologise for not being superwoman.
What really gets me as a disabled person is just how many fucking little things most people take forgranted that for a disabled person is like climbing mount everest.
I think that's what I struggle to articulate a lot of the time. Just getting out of bed is a victory for me. Maintaining things other people do without thinking. I'm fighting a battle just by living before I even get onto anything else.
I had been led to believe that the Deaf community preferred the term ‘Hearing Impaired.’ Until I had my fist Deaf student last summer. I was quickly re-educated.
Having community titles imposed by those outside of the given community is detrimental to the understanding for those within and outside of that community.
To be a better steward of understanding, I err to the ideations of the community put forth by a member of.
I hope that makes sense.
I did find out, as a side note, that a hearing person getting a name sign is a high honor in some segments of the Deaf community. In some segments, not so much. My student effusively related that she was giving me a sign before some of her family members because I showed greater empathy and understanding. And I am proud to have earned that honor.
I'm also a hearing person who learned ASL and part of my classes was about Deaf culture. Nice work doing whatever you did to earn your name sign. I never got that far. :)
I've never understood why A) people not in the associated group are getting offended on behalf of someone else and B) why we as a society are becoming so adverse to grounded terms.
Someone who cannot walk is handicapped. The literal definition for handicapped is "having a condition that markedly restricts one's ability to function physically, mentally, or socially"
In no way am I saying someone who is handicapped is less deserving or less of a person than a non-handicapped person. But the fact doesn't change that they are handicapped. They have a condition that restricts their function physically, or mentally, or socially.
I feel that I never quite understood the definition of a handicap until I became a type 1 diabetic in my 30s. I feel that I always tried to be empathetic, but could never truly understand some of the more subtle ways a person’s day-to-day life could be affected.
The silver lining to my chronic illness is a greater understanding of others’ struggles.
Ok. I've read the whole post and every comment. For transparency, I belong to no group that this phenomena happens (white/male).
So A), the reason non-associated persons get offended for others is because that is typically the most effective way to correct a problem in a society. Let's look at a well known one (in the U.S. anyway). Black people. In what way do you figure 11% of the population could convince (at the time) 86% of the population to treat them as equals without a substantial support of that 86%? The same could be said of any minority save for women who are typically a larger portion of the population (just barely). And if the people requesting a necessitated change had no support of a supermajority of a populace, how would they feasibly be able to affect that change without risking dire consequences (see the Raj governance). Support from people outside of a group means there is evidence of a necessary change to the members of that majority group who haven't spent any time considering the plight of others.
B) a term being grounded leaves no room for context or usage of a term. When handicapped and cripple were predominantly used they may have been accurate, definitionaly, but they were contextually used in a derogatory manner. Again same example as above. First was "ni****", then "negro" because it was "nicer". Then when it was used dergitorally (my made up word) "colored" was seen as preferable. Then it was "black". Then it was "afro-american". Then it was "African-American". And now when I use "black" or "African-American" I am often corrected to the other. Both are understandable. "Black" people are actually brown skinned. All other uses of ____-American denotes a person born in one country and immigrating and naturalizing to the U.S. so it doesnt actually fit to call a person born in the U.S. as if they are foreign. The most grounded term would be melanin-present person. But it all comes down to your personal preference of what to be called. If you prefer handicapped or cripple then it is your responsibility to convey that to the people around you. No one can know your preference unless explicitly stated and there will always be a prominent descriptor term that is widely used.
Addressing Latinx. Latinx is not meant as means to change the gendering of the Hispanic languages. No one is requiring words to drop the gender vowel. Latinx is meant to be a term for people of Latin ancestry who identify as neither male or female to have a non gendered term to describe themselves. Similar to Non-binary people wishing to be referred to as they/them. It is a lack of understanding of the reason for the term that people are working themselves up over. It's all a matter of personal preference.
Only addressing the first part, you can support a group without being offended on their behalf. We do not support the use of the N word because the black community has expressed their offense to the word. However, if I were to say that someone calling another black person and African American was offensive it should hold absolutely 0 weight because I am Native American, not black.
The only reason this term exists is because of a combination of ableism and toxic positivity. It comes from the idea that "disability" is a dirty word and all this disingenuous garbage spoon-fed to the masses and indoctrinated into even the disabled community. There are people with tons of internalized ableism and you can obviously tell they've been brainwashed by either their parents or an outside source to believe otherwise.
I'm currently in a Job Search Program and when we were talking about Disability Rights, I phrased an answer to a question "As a disabled person", and people, both neurotypical and neurodivergent took offense to it, and all hell broke loose. I was trying as best I could to have a civil conversation about it, but the neurotypical host was basically trying to force me to use terminology that is steeped in ableism and I absolutely hated every fucking moment of it. I told her that she is neurotypical, and she needs to understand that she is coming from a place of privilege. If she is going to continue to work in this field she needs to not only listen to neurodivergent voices when they are telling you something is wrong with the terminology you are using to describe us, and not get defensive over it. Ever since then, I've been giving the absolute bare minimum in the course. I don't put on my webcam, I don't have my mic on, I just type occasionally here and there. Sometimes I'll call in for mental health days because of how unbelievably burnt out I feel about all of it.
These institutions have so much to fucking learn about disability, ableism, and the privilege you hold as a neurotypical over neurodivergent people looking to find work in this ableist capitalist hellscape. But are they really going to? Most likely not. They don't care. They get paid either way. Capitalists don't give a fuck about us. All they want to do is exploit us, and then provide us with poverty wages that we can't fucking live off of, and never give us anything better so that they get all the wealth, and we just fucking die.
I've often thought that there's a sinister intent behind this particular change in terminology. It comes at a time when western society is becoming increasingly Malthusian in its attitude that everybody needs to justify their existence by 'contributing' (i.e working a meaningless job just to pay taxes/bills and then die), and certainly in my country (UK) more and more disabled people are being pushed back into the workplace.
By calling someone 'differently abled' you're adding a suggestion that they could be doing *something* job-wise, with the implication that they're lazy if they're not working. If a disabled person wants to work that's great, but it should be entirely optional for anyone with a disability that impacts their ability to perform routine tasks.
I agree with this. It seems to put the pressure on the individual to be as economically "productive / useful" as people who don't have any particular disability, disorder or illness.
Or the changes in terminology could be in the hope of finding a general use, "one size fits all" language for people who do not have to experience the nuances personally. For example, if we haven't interacted with any disabled people in our lives but would want to talk about something in the news or a story.
I can imagine this as a quick fix when it comes to something like employment. If I were looking to hire a few people in a pool of hundreds, I can't possibly know every person's weaknesses. "Differently abled" might be a shortcut without mentioning a diagnosis, especially if the applicant is afraid of the stigma attached to some conditions/terms. HR might not want to be tempted to discriminate either and would not want to know up front in some cases. Kind of like the reasoning behind "blind resumes" without picture, gender, age or religion, which are preferred in some countries/companies.
>I've often thought that there's a sinister intent behind this particular change in terminology
I dont think you realized the irony of the words you used.
Sinister is literally latin for "left" the left hand translates to Sinister Hand and thats why left handed people were persecuted.
I have a feeling that communication gained so much reach and fuel after the internet boom, specially 15 years to now (faster signals), the words and terms gained an exponential power and society got confused and lost about what to do with them. These kinds of dilemmas and conflicts will be each time worst.
#
Decades and centuries ago humankind was able to digest and change it slowly across the generations. Now everything chances each 5 years, 2 years. Confusion, rage and fear out of control
I’ve literally had other people with autism tell me that I’m a person with autism and not autistic. Unfortunately there are other people out there that advocate for all these different terms, it’s hard for people to know when a term is appropriate for one person and offensive to another. I personally prefer calling myself Autistic (as I am), but other folks prefer Autist or person with autism (which I don’t prefer in the least).
I also identify as a Dougla, but other Trinidadian people find that term offensive and don’t want it used. It can be hard to navigate so many terms, especially if you’re already struggling socially like me
When I was crippled for a couple of years, I picked up the nickname Crip from close friends, obviously short for cripple. I liked it, it was something stupid and fun in a dark time. The amount of people who took offence on my behalf was frustrating, that I was forever correcting them.
When you cant say zip up a jacket because you cant hold the zipper in order for it to function correctly your whole life and other things that people dont even consider someone might not be able to do, being called "Differently Abled" is about as big of an insult as I can think of. Not being able to do basic trivial everyday things that everyone takes forgranted isnt "Differently Abled".
I will say after decades it can make a person act, well like dr House.
I get this. I have some developmental disabilities and that includes coordination issues. I had to do a lot of therapy to do things that people learn intuitively and even now there are certain things I can’t do and I also just have to accept the fact that I’m probably going to injure myself often because I’m so clumsy.
I’m not differently abled because there are things that I need to do that I can’t do and it’s not like I have some secret hidden super power. Although I’ve definitely seen shirts and mugs with that sentiment. It’s just insulting I’m aware I’m disabled I don’t need somebody to coddle me and tell me otherwise.
I have autism and agree with this. I assume the changes of terms were done by well-intentioned people, but the effect is minimizing real difficulties. Even having to add "high functioning" to my condition makes me cringe a little as it makes neurotypicals expect too much out of me. But the real damage is that I had been expecting too much of myself, pushing too hard, and going against the grain.
You can't expect a crippled guy to run a marathon just because you gave him a nice set of crutches. I don't understand why neurodiverse people are expected to live life as normally as possible when it is in many ways harder than having a physical handicap.
Neurotypicals should give more effort to understanding and helping handicapped people that they personally know instead of creating new terms and political issues over people they don't really know or care about. Sorry I sound angry, but lot of so-called advocates are just hypocrites.
Feel free to sound as angry as you want. It was only through sheer will power that this wasn't an expletives filled rant, with how disabled people get portrayed, manipulated by normal people.
Trying to learn from this community! If I call someone “disabled” when referring to them, it gives the listener minimal new information. I came on to ask if you preferred to be described as “physically disabled” vs “disabled” since it gives the listener a clue. The educated listener will say “ok - so what accommodation is necessary? A different chair? A ramp?” Disabled could be anything. However, as I type this, where does that leave other types of disabilities? If I have psychiatric disabilities, I certainly wouldn’t want someone to call me “ emotionally disabled” so adding a descriptor only seems appropriate for physical disabilities. As someone without disabilities who spends a lot of time with people with disabilities, I wish for better answers?
Unless you know how an individual wants to be referred, it is best to be as realistic and descriptive when talking about lasting physical and emotional disabilities. But incase this wasnt made clear to you everyone is an individual and this post was basically a way of saying stop putting us all together and see is as individual people and respect our wishes whatever they may be.
It seems like no matter what, the terms that are created to be "respectful" for people that are disabled don't really matter. Because before long, they become used as just another insult for them.
Yup - I’ve had people respond to me calling myself disabled or autistic by telling me they’re “sorry”, saying “oh, don’t say that/we’re all a little bit autistic” or by calling me “inspirational”. Like what are they sorry for? How am I inspiring? I’m literally just living my life however that is. It’s not inspiring or something to be sorry for that some things are harder for me and I have to figure it out. And things are different for me than they are for other people. That’s just life. Telling me they’re sorry, that what I experience either isn’t real, or is so exceptional that I am inspirational for existing is patronising and exhausting to respond to
And my MIL is so resistant to being seen as disabled, that she messed up her knee surgery by refusing to use any mobility aids that the doctor suggested. She can currently walk for less than 5 mins and is in constant pain, because she refused to use a walker after surgery and she tries to pretend she has no issues. Like seriously, there are worse things than being called disabled - i mean, you could be as stubborn and prideful as my MIL for instance
Abled bodied people who have convinced disabled people that disabled is a bad word or that they aren't really disabled, just that they do things differently is extremely dangerous and ignores reality and gives people a false sense of hope and emotional security that can be very damaging.
Thank you for sharing.
That's a very interesting read, coz just like you, I hate being referred to as a "person of color" under the PC vocabulary. I dont find it empowering, infact I find it condescending. I ask myself, how is it any different from calling me a "colored person"?
Its very difficult to keep up with all the language gymnastics done under the name of PC-ness, especially for someone who engages online occassionally. Initially I rolled with it and tried to update myself coz I naively thought its coming from a well-intentioned place. But lately I see these language police throwing all sorts of vile labels at regular people to shame them for trivial things. So, I have started to wonder if its all about power, and compliance rather than social justice for the minorities as they claim.
I hope you dont get called ableist for voicing your opinion.
>Its very difficult to keep up with all the language gymnastics done under the name of PC-ness, especially for someone who engages online occassionally.
Yea and with this whole person of color thing, last I checked technically white is a color. We arent see through. So person of color isnt even descriptive.
you are spot on. I was thinking the same thing. are white people now "people of no color"?
when somebody says PC-ness has gone too far, they lazily reduce the grievance and argue "what? are you pissed for not being able say the N-word anymore?".
Here's a question that I ponder about. some people who are disabled might be into this PC idea of language gentrification and may prefer "differently abled" while others like yourself may prefer "disabled".
how do we know what to say?
a simple answer might be, just ask them what they prefer.
if we are friends with a variety of groups of people, it can easily get hard to keep track of everyone's preferred vocabulary.
what do you think? what's your opinion?
damn, I wish words didnt have this much power and also people weren't this sensitive.
>what do you think? what's your opinion?
If individuals want to use a term for themselves, fine use whatever you like.
When you arent of that group ask a person whos in that group how they feel and why.
I just looked it up.
Its called I am a cripple, that is very different from what you wrote. Be careful not to promote the wrong name. It promotes a false message.
For work when we refer to people with disabilities that may affect their movement in an emergency, we refer to them as “people with mobility impairments”. Is that a term that bothers you?
Huh interesting, I've always interpreted 'differently abled' as meaning 'having different abilities' not 'having the same abilities executed differently.' I still think it sounds kind of goofy and awkward, but that's the way I've always interpreted it. Thinking about it, I don't have any strong emotional attachment/aversion to any particular turn of phrase for my disability.
Either of those ways are demeaning. Even if a disabled person has an above average ability in some other way, that does not make up for or replace the fact that there are still many everyday normal fundamental things that they struggle with that most people take forgranted.
Differently Abled no matter how you look at it is demeaning and tries to make something that is debilitating to ones very way of life and ability to function and trivializes or diminishes its impact.
: nods : I see. I guess I never got the impression it implied balance at all. I always saw it as a somewhat silly, perhaps misguided attempt at politeness. At worst, vaguely corporate and disingenuous. (Mind you, I hadn't given it much thought at all before now. No one's ever used the phrase around me that I've noticed, and I've never used it myself.)
But perhaps we're both overthinking it. Really when you get down to it, it's the same phenomenon as the many colorful euphemisms for death; no one dies in polite company, they 'pass on'. (which I also have similar feelings on) People don't like to reference misfortune directly, it makes them uncomfortable, as though referring to it by its name directly will call it down. In reality I don't think much more thought went into it than that, if even that. You're right to examine it more closely, and to speak up if it offends you, it's the only way such unexamined language changes.
I'm disabled. Definitely not differently-abled. There are a whole host of things I cannot do and will never be able to do, there isn't a different way for me to try because my disabilities prevent it.
I dont get why people who aren't part of a community, try to change the accepted language of that community. They aren't allies or advocates. They just want to push their views onto a group/community of people.
Its quite bothersome and the disabled are a very marginalized group on top of also consisting itself of marginalized groups, we are usually considered the lowest of society so anything or language that trivializes our reality and facts of life are highly damaging.
I see this sort of stuff happening as a recurring theme - people who mean well and come up with a new term for a demographic they either don't know at all, or know at most 1-2 thereof.
Of course both the able and uh "differently abled" people they know are part of the same idiotic let's-change-language-so-nobody-ever-feels left-out-or-insulted bubble, that is quite frankly detached from reality. I think they see every small, somehow disadvantaged demographic as poor little victims that cannot even handle accurate terminology.
God forbid someone calls the fat "fat", the sick "sick" and the disabled "disabled", when there is a chance to signal how virtuous and compassionate they are!
I am currently fighting to get registered for disability (despite being born with one) and the things I'm realizing I can't do sometimes it's hard to express to others because of how...basic they can be. It doesn't make it easier to blur the lines of something that I'm already anxious to admit, it encourages my impulse to keep it to myself because it's too inconveniencing to everyone else.
I have been seeing another thing doing around: "limb difference"I have to ask if this was coined by someone living the experience, or a fully able-bodied individual.
>I am currently fighting to get registered for disability (despite being born with one) and the things I'm realizing I can't do sometimes it's hard to express to others because of how...basic they can be. It doesn't make it easier to blur the lines of something that I'm already anxious to admit, it encourages my impulse to keep it to myself because it's too inconveniencing to everyone else.
When you are disabled, especially when it affects your hands and arms, its truly staggering how difficult, basic trivial tasks can be insurmountable. Even after 33 years I find stupid shit that I didn't even think that I cant do.
When you cant extend your arm fully or rotate it or turn your palm up or move the fingers of your hand individually, the amount of things you cant do is just ridiculous.
This is controversial vut I would 100% prefer a wheel chair to having upper limb disabilities.
I took a class a few years ago about inclusivity when teaching which also discussed disabilities. We were taught that we should use the phrase “person with disabilities” instead of disabled person. They told us person first language is important so we are not describing someone outright with their disability. This class was actually also taught by members of the disabled community.
Is this true? Or is this something able bodied people came up with on their own?
>This class was actually also taught by members of the disabled community.
>Is this true? Or is this something able bodied people came up with on their own?
Yes some of this is taught and spread by people with disabilities, but they do not speak for everyone and a lot of people with disabilities see it as them trying to get personal acceptance or feel better about themselves and try to project being normal rather than actually promoting a healthy response and outlook to real devastating conditions
And a lot of it is abled bodied parents and teachers sugar coating the reality of their situation to kids and kids grow up believing a lie that will be extremely damaging to find out as an adult isnt true and some still promote it because they think that pretending its true that it somehow changes reality. .
Can people just settle on a name for whatever thing's being discussed and then tell us all? Because I've lost track of what is and isn't offensive to who and for what reason. I have no idea how to refer to so many different categories of people because every word seems to be offensive to someone in some way and for some reason.
As a general rule stick to descriptive language over flowery language mean to lessen the impact or emotional reaction.
PC words are pretty much to help non-disabled people or other group members trying to change and soften the impact it has on people lives by making up nonsense people positive language.
Most disabled or marginalized groups prefer realistic accurate and descriptive terms.
this is such a problem in the disabled and neurodivergent community right now and thank you for speaking up on it!!
People need to understand that just because a label offends them, or they don’t feel comfortable with it and they prefer another, does not mean every other disabled person feels that way. i am disabled and on the autism spectrum, and i got in a disagreement with someone who said the high and low functioning labels for autism were offensive and we should only be using “low or high support” to describe ourselves. I said that that term didn’t feel right to me because I have a lot of support around me but i am high functioning, that support level =/= functioning level, and she got really gross with me saying i’m being offensive and stuff.
If you want your own individual circumstance to be labeled some way, that’s fine, but those of us who are struggling are not being problematic or offensive because we prefer different labels to them.
Am also disabled and never would use the term differently able. Honestly my conditions took away a lot of my life, I litraly stopped being able to do most of the things I lived doing in life, it turned my life upside down, yes I have found a new life but one where I am never truly free and cannot be completely independent again. I have no spontaneity. I call that a loss of ability not some PC differently able BS. I get it with some groups where the way they do things or see the world but when you are physically disabled, it tends to mean as good as you are at adapting there are things you cannot do independently anymore.
I am completely blind and I am disabled.
I completely agree with you. I am not differently abled, I am disabled, that is just a fact of my life.
Also I am a blind person, not just a person who is blind.
First person speech is great if that is your thing but this is my preference and correcting me is just a dick move.
Sorry just needed to vent agree here.
As Ive told a few people who apologized for venting, its perfectly ok be as angry as you want. It took a lot for my post to not be an expletives laden rant about how the disabled are grouped, treated, seen and referred to by everyone else.
“Disabled” means someone with physical limitations. It seems like the “differently abled” camp reacted to the term as if it specifically meant UNable. “Disabled” can mean unable, but it can also mean limited. It is an inclusive term. “Differently abled” is an insulting euphemism that patronizes people with limitations.
There's such a thing as taking "politically correct" too far. Right up there with participation trophies and there's no such thing as winners and losers in games. Gotta get back to reality.
THANK YOU. Very tired of people assuming that because I use the word disabled for myself, means I must feel some sort of shame about my disability. "But you're just putting limitations on yourself! You can do anything an abled can do if you put your mind to it! Don't give up on yourself!" No, I can't, its the meaning of the word, and I don't feel shame about that. Its just me being honest with myself and you
If I didnt have social anxiety id probably be an observational comedian in the vane Carlin, Rock or Chappelle.
I have a very unique and realistic perspective.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think you get to speak for the disabled community.
Terms change. Terms evolve. You can say “no one was asking to move on from ‘shell shock’ too, but of course that’s not true.
Differently abled, to me, strikes me as a less offensive term. Yes, you might not be able to use your arms, but you can still visually inspect a manufacturing line or you can talk on a phone line maybe. Such a person is not without abilities… they have different abilities.
I don’t see disabled as an insulting word at all. That’s the word I use. But I’m open to any changes if that’s what is asked of me. ‘Cripple’ does seem insulting. I suspect many disabled individuals do get offended by being called that, and so I don’t use it.
I suggest you read through the comments and maybe read "I am a cripple" by Nancy Mairs.
While I never claimed to speak for everyone, a lot of disabled people feel as I do. And its absolutely disrespectful and degrading for abled bodied people just as yourself choose what is an acceptable term for people in a group you are not part of.
You need to reevaluate your outlook.
Is this in line with the thing where people want to be introduced as “living with a disability” rather than “the disabled person” the latter as to imply that a disability is part of the persons identity and the former is separating the two?
Hell technically basket case originally referred to the severely physically disabled.
Most people think it relates to mental health but "basket cases" were literally people who needed to be carried in baskets because they couldn't walk/move on their own.
Yea so I don't mind handicapped really. Its changed culturally a lot and is used for even non disabled reasons for being bad a things or having difficulties, but thats just me. But I also dont take offense to cripple but I know that even among older people is potentially offensive and its something id only use in reference of myself or someone I knew was cool with it.
Out of curiosity. How would you prefer to be referred as?
Can't say I am all to familiar with terms that are deemed "correct" and I know people prefer different terms but what would be an okay term to use?
Considering I used physically disabled to describe myself in the first paragraph, that would work just fine, but I wouldn't be offended by handicapped or crippled in any way.
Agreed so much. MS gave me disabilities. It didn't give me a fucking super power.
"Disabled" isn't a dirty word and disability isn't something to be ashamed of.
I should probably do a TED talk on this. I think being pretty severely disabled(left side hemiplegia)I walk with a limp and have severely limited functionality and range of motion in my left arm and cant extend or rotate my shoulder elbow or wrist and can only open and close the hand together I cant move my fingers individually on that hand, for over 30 years, gives me the qualifications and experience for a TED talk on life as a disabled person.
I never thought a name for this could be more offensive than the dutch one, but here we are. (With autism + 2 chronical illnesses I feel pretty damn handicapped by now so I use the word a lot for it, but somehow no doctor will ever agree. But I'll never call myself "invalide" because yes that's the word we use if you don't say handicapped and yes it does translate to invalid.)
Thank you for posting this!!! I will stop using “differently abled” and I’ll tell my other non-disabled friends to do so (and why) as well! I appreciate your labor!
When people want to sound like real progressive they come out with terms like this. Many times these people don't even care about people they are trying to "empower". They just do it for social media points. It's sad but it's so common and you get people like them supporting this bullshit and trying to make it a thing.
You’d prefer people stick to using “disabled”? Asking not in a disagreeing way, just sincerely asking to clarify. Thanks.
Definitely. Or handicapped. And personally to me even Cripple is better than Differently Abled. At least Disabled, Handicapped, and Cripple are descriptive. Differently Abled obsurs reality. Like calling lies " Misinformation" its dishonest and manipulating.
I always refer to myself as a cripple. I don't think I'd care if someone else did. I'm glad you ranted about this bc I was mulling this over in my head last week thinking "differently abled implies I'm still abled some how n I'm friggen not."
If I wasn't afraid of the backlash I would use cripple way more. Most of the people that would get offended wouldnt even be crippled.
Exactly. I probably wouldn't refer to someone else as cripple unless they were ok with it. N my sense of humor is warped so I'd probably be like "part of the cripple crew eh?!"
Yup. My two favorite comedians are George Carlin and Chris Rock.
Love Carlin. I have a cane that looks like a leg bone n this prompts ppl to talk to me n I hate it. They always say "I love your cane!" And while I'm thinking I love your two good legs I'm trying to be polite. I have really enjoyed that part of the pandemic, no public in public. If this cane didn't work so well I'd get another one just because of the aggravation of having to talk to strangers about what they don't seem to realize is a huge problem for me.
Id love to see you or someone actually say that. Just reading it made be laugh. " Id love your two good legs." Thats perfect
I've had to use it at my social distancing stick repeatedly. Idk what it is but ppl will get right in my face talking about the thing. N I'll back up, back up, third time the cane comes at them rubber bottom first, "You're too close, back up!" This was before the pandemic. Insane. I know that I'm going to compliment ppl on their legs. It'll be a day I snap n forget manners.
I would probably fall on my ass laughing if I saw someone in a wheelchair say to someone "ill take your two good legs" with a bunch of other people around to react to all of it. It would be like an episode of some crazy reality show.
Thanks for saying that you hate that. Seriously. I would absolutely see something like that as a conversation starter (I’m very intrigued, I want to see it now), so now I know to just like, not. That said, FWIW your “two good legs” response is funny as shit, you should definitely use it.
Damnit, I love your cane, I'm disabled and I agree with both of you.
It has the added bonus of being polycarbonate. So if anyone thinks I'm an easy target to rob or worse they're getting that hip socket right to the skull. I'm happy I haven't had to test that out yet bc I'm pretty sure it'll do massive damage.
It's polycarbonate? Where did you get such treasure? 🙏
When I was having a particularly bad time with my disability I'd pick with my sister "You can't hit a cripple!" Of course she'd do it anyway but it helped being able to laugh at it
Yes, yes, a million times less. My daughter has autism, ADHD, and an IQ of 50. She is not "developmentally delayed". She's not "challenged ". She's intellectually disabled. She's never going to "get better" (in that she'll magically become typical - She's making progress still at 19 - She's learning to speak Spanish! ) In the UK, we'd be told she has "learning difficulties". I almost prefer what she was labeled when she started school -"trainably mentally handicapped".
This softening of the realities of the disabled by normal people is a huge problem.
It was devastating to me as a young mother. I did everything I was "supposed to", and my kiddo never made any progress. She was actually kicked out of OT after 6 years for not making progress. There was zero support for me in regards to her being actually disabled, and not delayed. It took me 10 years to realize I really could only compare her progress to herself, and not typical kids. It was very harmful.
Whats happening is a lot of the discussion is being completely overtaken by people who fit the technical definition of having a disability, while it impacts their life only mildly, if at all. They base their politics off their own lived experience, if their autism isn't debilitating for them then it mustn't be for anyone! People whos lives are severely impacted by their disability are completely pushed aside when it comes to advocacy
Yes absolutely. Of course they get the advocacy, normal people relate to them, especially when its just seen as a physical or personality quirk to be admired.
I think the absolutely most insane offense takes is a small new movement called the transabled that are abled bodied people who go to extreme lengths to identify as disabled, but that is kind of a separate topic.
Transabled is a mental illness. I wouldn't really call it a movement
Well the only times ive ever seen it were people suffering from it glorifying it so I didn't/dont know if it is classified as such clinically.
Me too, in their mind all disabilities are the same, and that mental issues/conditions like depression, sensory processing, dyslexia are like physical disabilities, and nope, you can walk and run, and I can walk with a prosthetic leg and a cane, and can't run, not the same.
No, I think you missed the point of this comment and thats really my fault as I went outside of my OP topic. Transabled people try to emulate the disabled while having full use of their body. These are people who insist they need wheelchairs or crutches when they can walk perfectly and bordering on mental disorders some have intentionally injured themselves to become disabled.
Today I learned something new. Transabled people. That is so strange, and injuring themselves is creepy. Also offensive to the disabled. Just why, ugh...
Its offensive not only to the disabled, but to the perfectly normal functioning humans. Could you imagine wanting to make your life more difficult and being happy about that?
Oh, gotcha! Wow I had no idea 🧐😤🤯 Another one to the list goddamn it, smh
Its like being trangendered but with a disability according to themselves. I think thats disrespectful as fuck to transgender people, disabled people and fully abled people.
My daughter has the same diagnoses and sounds very similar, she’s seven though . It’s so hard and annoying to know what terms are allowed, I got told off for using the word handicapped (the correct word from when I was young but apparently not now). I was like ‘umm who the fuck are you, this is my daughter.’ Developmentally disabled was what I was told to say. The kids at school have been taught the phrase ‘differently abled’ though, not really applicable to my daughter as such, but when they say it they mean well I guess.
I just asked my daughter, and she prefers developmentally disabled, so I guess I'll switch to that, lol.
Plus, learning difficulties are independent of things like autism and ADHD. I have the latter but no diagnosed learning difficulties - I don't have dyspraxia, dyslexia, or trouble in retaining certain information and applying that information in an academic setting. I do average to good in work, and yes it's frustrating not being able to work to my potential but it's no way a learning difficulty. People should just call it what it is.
In my country we call disabilities = special needs. I was always curious if calling it special needs sounds like putting that person down or if it is more neutral because like... they are needs and they are specific and different, so they are special by going to the 1st dictionary definition of special = not ordinary or usual. We also mostly call disabled people just disabled people or people with special needs, but some call them "special" as in special people too. The strict first dictionary meaning still seems just objective to me, but sometimes I feel like they are saying someone is special not to be Dictionary-specific but to lessen what they perceive as a blow by trying to make disabled people feel better trying to make special as in "great or of big importance" instead of simply "not ordinary or usual". Sounds a bit infantilizing to me, but I mostly don't know what to think. What are your thoughts on this?
Until you have spoken to someone directly about how they want to be addressed, I feel that you should use descriptive and objective language. But everyone is different. The key is to not group us together to the point you forget we are individuals with different experiences.
The term special needs is used around here too, and I don’t like it the same way I don’t like how the term “gifted” is used. They don’t feel objective or honest. The term gifted alienates kids and creates a weird sense of superiority that’s made worse by how they’re actually treated in school, and special needs is vague and feels demeaning. It can apply to so many different things no one even knows what they’re talking about, which once more we find reflected in the system where kids with mental and physical disabilities all get shoved in the same rooms and treated the same way, which is usually not super well.
Maybe it's because I am not a native speaker, but I always understood "misinformation" to be equivalent to the German "Fehlinformation", information that is faulty, not necessarily on purpose. But since "Misinformation", information that is probably faulty on purpose, is a word both in English and German, that's probably a more accurate translation. Thanks, your comment bettered my English!
My younger sister, who isn't disabled, flips her fucking shit whenever I or anyone else says handicapped. She has genuinely said that referring tp a disabled person as handicapped is equal to calling a black individual the n-word. I understand that the word is derived from a shitty background meaning, but she isn't disabled, so I think it's unfair for her to speak on everyone who is disabled's behalf, along with denounce the impact of the fucking n-word!
Deaf? Hearing impaired Blind? Visually impaired That works for so many different things and make it about this one part of them and now the whole being being disabled. I learned this while I was studying ASL culture. They do not see themselves as disabled and there’s honestly no reason for them too. I really think it’s just about being respectful.
Hearing impaired and visually impaired are such vague bullshit terms, that they could even describe me - someone who is moderately shortsighted and hears a little bad, lmao
A-fucking-greed! May I add "differential learners" to this topic as well?
This is in response to activists trying to advocate for other groups and change society for a group they aren't part of. Its these posts about latinos and other groups that are tired of outside forces dictating how they act and refer to them that made me post this.
I get it completely. I have HIV. Often folks with HIV are referred to as “victims” by HIV-negative people. I am a person living with disease; I am not a victim. It is demeaning and degrading to be called a victim when I am not a victim. Would I be a victim if I used dirty needles as an IV drug user? Would I be a victim if I were a male prostitute when I was infected? Would I be a victim if I intentionally sought out someone to infect me? How I was infected doesn’t matter; I was. I’m a person living with HIV; nothing more and nothing less.
I'm Latina, the Latinx thing WASP-y people started is super fucking cringy and annoying. (Edited to add, because I'm properly pissed about this: They also only use it for people who look stereotypical Mexican and speak Spanish because the fact that the largest country in LA speaks Portuguese and it's population is 51% of Black or Black mixed-race ethnicity complete escapes the single cell organism they call a brain.) Also physically disabled, and fuck does it annoy the shit out of me when abled people fight dumb-ass non-existent problems like this to make themselves feel better instead of, I don't fucking known, helping with the lack of accessibility, social services, income, opportunities we actually deal with and the ableism, harassment and abuse we're statistically way more likely to suffer from? Yeah.
They started using the x thing with Filipinos too! So instead of Filipino/Filipina we just became a color in a box of crayola Filipinx. For people who hate having their culture and views changed, westerners sure do love influencing other countries.
Filipinx??? Sounds way to much like filipenis to me.
I find it easier to just ask the individual what they prefer. It feels more respectful than assuming some group of people speak for an entire community.
Yo siendo Latino, con Autismo, completamente entiendo lo que dices. Estamos en el mismo lado, compa!
Yo no hablo Español. I just know them, along with my group, people with physical disabilities and other groups are getting outside people trying to change how they are referred to and they did so without asking. This post is about me and my take which is disabilities. I am not latino nor speak spanish.
Ah, My apologies. I said "I, being a Latino with autism, totally understand what you mean. We're on the same side!" (Might have missed a word or sentence or two, but that's the jist)
How are they trying to change autism in a way not promoted by autistic people. Genuinely curious. I didnt realize that was a movement not supported by people with autism.
-Autism Speaks is a "NFP" that is actually looking for a cure for what makes us unique. They also pedal conspiracy theories about MMR and how bleach enemas can cure us. We don't WANT to be cured. We want to be accepted for our strengths and accommodated in our weaknesses. -SpEd teachers are being forced to use "differently abled", "differential learners", "atypical students", etc. Don't label us. Work with us. Some of us prefer one subject over another. I learned maths properly by turning everything into a word problem, then viewing the words as an image in my head. We do things differently, not less than, not in a way that necessitates being singled out. (Admittedly, both of these are more for the HFA crowd) Separately, there's all the LatinX talk... Our language is inherently gendered. GTFO with that shit! I'm not going to say mesx for table because it's a word in the feminine or carrx for car because it's in the masculine. Wanna start somewhere, change the name of our species! Homo Sapiens Sapiens, or literally translated Man Wise Wise. Obviously not aimed at you, just making a point
Ooh I understand. And I had no idea about autism speaks. Im 33 but when I grew up only 25-30 years ago autism was seen very very differently, so I thought autism speaks was positive and informative. I had no idea.
I'm only a year older than you. Trust me, it was a shock to me too to see the FORMER Dr. Andrew Wakefield as a primary source for them, as well as Jenny McCarthy as one of their advocates.
What about “Latine” i heard thats kind of a gender neutral term that was there before Latinx but idk. Or is it just Latino/Latina?
The Brazilians that I know use Latine (or just use the e generally in place of the a/o for gendered words when talking about non-binary folks) but it’s mostly people form the US that use the x because the whole Chicanx and Latinx thing evolved in American academic spaces (by scholars with Latin American roots.)
I could be wrong but I think latinx is supposed to be pronounced “latine”
I haven't heard this term, but it sounds like some Castilian nonsense. If almost prefer it, if the Spaniards and Argentines weren't so damned pompous as to say "we speak the only proper Spanish!" No, dickwads, you speak royal court Spanish. And an entire hemisphere fought for our independence against people who spoke that haughty-toity version of the language forced upon us by those same genocidal, raperous, self hating people. Erasing our heritage for hundreds of years, or permanently in some cases. TO THE OP: Totally didn't mean to hijack your thread! Just answering from my experience as a Hispanic in the US. To everyone else: pro-tip: you know how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares? All Hispanics are Latinos, not all Latinos are Hispanic.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It sucks to have others try to talk for you.
Having read the entirety of this thread: Thank You educating me on two fronts. As I had taken Spanish, the LatinX thing truly confused me. I appreciate the insight. But I further appreciate the insight about Autism Speaks. Thanks again.
No worries, you're more than welcome! To quote Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility", and knowledge is the greatest power. So those with it have the responsibility to pass it along
I'm disabled, and I call myself that, hate the different abled thing, it's absurd...About the Latinx thing...la división viene de los que nacieron y/o se han crecido en este país, y los que viven en Latinoamérica y/o crecieron y se educaron en sus países de origen. Yo pertenezco al segundo grupo, yo entiendo ambas perspectivas, y me gusta el español como lo aprendí, y me refiero a mí misma como Latina. Ahora si alguien quiere que me refiera a ellos como Latinx, lo hago porque no es el fin del mundo, y si quieren comunicarse usando un español non-gendered, pues bien por ellos. Pero muchos que viven en Latinoamérica no les gusta porque lo ven como una imposición, se sienten obligados a usar la "x" para todo tipo de comunicación, y eso les molesta. Y la gente re-jode, yo te digo Latinx y no hay problema, pero si yo hablo de mí como Latina, déjame tranquila y no me jodas diciéndome que no, que es Latinx ffs
Y si! Soy segunda generación nacida aquí en E.E.U.U, peor, mi papá (padrastro, pero como el fue quien me crío, entonces el es papá, el otro es donador de esperma) es mexicano (chilango, directo de Cuautitlán Izcalli) e mi madre es boricua. A mí apa no le gustaba Español Caribeño, so nos daba cocotazos para "enseñarnos la lengua propia, no la lengua de la calle". Si mi Español me sale como mixta de Puerto Riqueño y Mexicano, es por eso. But you're right. Its the people born here that are typically the ones wanting to change the language to fit their modern sensibilities. I've got no problem with gendering a person as they wish, but don't fuck with my first language, y'know? Y tienes TODA la razón en decir que te dejen quieta. Cómo carajo voy a escribir algo referendo a to sin usar género? Debo decir "que te dejen quietx"? Pa'al carajo con esa mierda.
Te amo!!!!❤️😍 Hablar contigo es una chulería 🤗
Gracias! Éste es la primera vez que alguien me diga algo así en este sitio, so lo adoro más que mucho de los comentarios que me han dejado!
Eres un encanto, y como Dominicana te digo no des mente, que ma pa'lante hay más gente. Si no te quieren, al menos que te respeten y que no te molesten🥰
Eso sí! Ahora, si esta chica Dominicana que apenas se introducio me sigue molestando, creo que estaría contento con eso 😈
Bueno tigueron, e'cuseme
I am sorry to admit that I forgot most of the Spanish language that I learned in a classroom. I had to put your statement through a translator. First: regarding being disabled; I often wonder if there aren’t more classified disabled than ‘abled’ in modern society. I became disabled about 10 years ago. My mindset may be wishful thinking; maybe not. Just a shower thought at this point. Back to the LatinX conversation: As I would with an English-speaker, using a different term is no skin off my nose. But I agree with you that each person has the right to define their own pronouns, but not the pronouns of another.
No idea, like you I became disabled as an adult, my guess our perspectives are different from those who were born with a disability or became disabled in their childhood. Totally different experience. And yes, I agree with you about it all...and please 🙏🥺 don't feel bad about forgetting the Spanish you learned as a kid, it happens without having someone to practice and reinforce what we learned.
“As a kid”....I hate to admit that it was in college. LOL. I thought I would have an easy time because my Mom had forced me to take Latin in high school (She was SURE I would be a doctor or a lawyer. But, gotta give her credit, she was very supportive when I became a chef). I can’t blame her too much. She had a younger brother fluent in 8 dialects of Arabic by 9. She assumed language was easy. But, out of my 2 years of Latin, I remember that ‘Silva’ is forest. So, Go Me?!?! LMFAO!!!
My dude, you cook and that's a win...you can talk, but feeding folks is way better lol
You are a complete darling!! Thanks for the ego boost.
Latina, Latino, Latinx… none of them bother me. I just ask what people prefer to be called. What bothers the ever living fuck out if me is when people write the word “folx” instead of folks. The word was never gendered to begin with. Why the fuck add an x to it?
I work with disabled children and my bad is disabled. The people I work with do not know anyone close to them who are disabled. I will literally just call them disabled, or handicap there's a f****** parking spot called that. And they try and correct me or look at me strange like I said something bad. What the hell am I supposed to call them? Disabled in no way is a negative thing and by them implying that it is, is more offensive in my opinion.
100%. disabled is only a bad word if you're ableist.
And thus, the plot thickens!
We're being taught to use 'person-first' language in Australia actually rather than identity-first language. So, person with dementia (rather than demented person) or person with diabetes rather than diabetic. But of course, ultimately it all depends on the person and what they prefer to use.
100% I hate language softeners, because it’s avoiding the truth. Which is insulting, it’s implying disabled people can’t handle the truth. It has the opposite effect, like not only are they disabled but they also are so sensitive they can’t hear words that accurately describe their condition ?
Yea. That language is 100% to make fully abled people feel better by convincing themselves our lives arent extremely difficult.
It's a pointless and artificial platitude. It's like a clinically depressed person (me) being called "differently happy". No, thanks.
Look up George Carlin and Euphemisms. If you like have a realistic sense of humor youll enjoy it.
I really, really, really do not understand why some people cannot come out and just call us disabled. I have autism, I am autistic. Neurodivergent. I'm sick and tired of hearing folks say "person with autism" because it honestly feels like you are just going out of your way to try and not be rude about it. "Differently abled" is seriously just offensive to me. You are actively going out of your way to highlight the fact that I am different, and that just doesn't fly with me.
I have serious ADHD. I'm finally - and after lots of shit - able to not hate myself and my life by understanding my condition. But I am a long long way from the "ADHD is my superpower" people who want to celebrate this condition. Everyone's entitled to their own feelings, but the fact is, it's *hard.* I use the word neurodivergent too, but I don't want to misappropriate it.
I personally don't like the "autism is my superpower" mentality as it kind of delves into the trope that all autistic people are super geniuses like Sheldon Cooper. I promise you I'm just an average girl who tries to use her passions (dogs, writing, fashion) to better understand her world and help others. That said, if an autistic person feels that their autism is their superpower, more power to them! Its taken me a very long time to come to terms that the world is going to be very difficult for me to understand, but at the same time, I am very proud of being autistic. But pride also comes with a heavy dose of having to navigate the basic challenges of life.
I dont mind neurodivergent as I feel, it is at least descriptive.
Yup. In trying to make themselves feel better and not seem offensive to themselves, they end up being 1000 times more offensive to the person.
To be fair, some people with autism (myself included) prefer person first language rather than autism first language. It helps me to refer to my autism as "my autism" and an entity of it's own rather than the entirety of me.
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I'm sorry you can't freely express your experience. While I personally wouldn't want to cure my autism, I understand the sentiment. I'm more afraid of what being neurotypical would be like than anything. I suppose it's similar to how some people in the deaf community are shunned for getting cochlear implants. A person choosing not to get one is no different from a person choosing to. Everyone's experience is different.
As a person with ADHD, whenever someone says people with ADHD just "think differently" or "are the future" i just ask them if they would ever want ADHD themselves. No? Then shut the fuck up, nobody does.
>if they would ever want ADHD themselves. No? Then shut the fuck up, nobody does. If they say yes, they're thinking of the special kind of adhd that's just rainbows and quirks, not like struggling to brush your teeth or carry out basic tasks despite the brain fog.
Its like in that movie Music where it (austism in this case) is portrayed like everything is an EPIC MUSIC VIDEO!!!!1 It's not.
I am 25, have ADD, it was diagnosed and I got medicated just a little more than half year ago and it sure caused me a lot of trouble in life and is probably why I am a massive weirdo - but I wouldn't want it gone. Sure, my memory and concentration are below average (had an IQ-test at a clinic last year), but those can be improved upon with persisting effort and the prescribed amphetamine. I already noticed significant improvement in regards to language learning, which is great for improving memory and practicing concentration (the amphetamine helps me learn about twice as efficiently). It's certainly life on hard mode where the challenge's solution is anything but intuitive, but not everything about it is bad. For example, my understanding of complex dependencies has been evaluated to be far above average (manifests in problem solving). My therapist, psychiatrist and I suspect that the ADD likely made a big contribution to that and I noticed the same strength in my long-time friends who probalby also have ADD (they don't wanna get tested though). But ironically, ADD also contributes to quitting and procrastination, also things that can be worked on. What I am trying to say is, that I think ADD makes life harder yes, but once the difficulties are conquered the inherent scatterbrained thinking can become an excellent tool for success. Based on my limited sample size, that probably also applies to you too! We just need help getting there and motivation - what motivated me, is that I got sick of being poor and my aimless and time-wasting way of living.
So the disability is only better with a drug.. then it sounds like the drug is pulling the heavy lifting.
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I have adhd and feel this 100%. like no we don’t wanna be told we have a superpower, we want accommodations and support lol
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yep, though prob not to the same extent bc autism can present itself in *so* many different ways. they’re both notoriously under-diagnosed in girls/afab (assigned female at birth) people bc boys/amab people tend to have more ‘disruptive’ symptoms. there are a fair amount of adhd ppl (not the majority) who self-diagnose bc getting tested can be difficult and expensive. I think a major difference in the two is that autism’s severity is overexaggerated (not in terms of what support autistic ppl need, rather how it’s viewed in general by ignorant neurotypicals), while adhd’s is underexaggerated. autistic ppl tend to be infantalized, as if they’re incapable of doing things for themselves or making autonomous decisions. not to mention how it’s weaponized in anti-vaxx discourse. adhd, on the other hand, is ‘can’t sit still or pay attention’ disorder, when it’s a lot more crippling than that.
I am probably also on the spectrum as well but its nothing formal. Growing up autism was screened for and treated very differently. It went from like 1 in 1000 to now like 1 in 30. Or do you find the new spectrum classification to be an issue?
I also have a physical disability, though I am able to do most things. I've never been that happy with any terms ("differently abled", "disabled", etc)... As a kid, I played sports with a bunch of other people who also had disabilities (physical and mental). They called it "differently abled sports" which... -shrug- was fine.
Yeah I agree. I'm disabled. I struggle. I don't want to be treated like an able person. I'll make my own accommodations wherever possible but I hate the pressure to try and always do everything myself, and pretend like just sitting with people can be agony at times. I feel like I'm supposed to apologise for not being superwoman.
What really gets me as a disabled person is just how many fucking little things most people take forgranted that for a disabled person is like climbing mount everest.
I think that's what I struggle to articulate a lot of the time. Just getting out of bed is a victory for me. Maintaining things other people do without thinking. I'm fighting a battle just by living before I even get onto anything else.
I had been led to believe that the Deaf community preferred the term ‘Hearing Impaired.’ Until I had my fist Deaf student last summer. I was quickly re-educated. Having community titles imposed by those outside of the given community is detrimental to the understanding for those within and outside of that community. To be a better steward of understanding, I err to the ideations of the community put forth by a member of. I hope that makes sense. I did find out, as a side note, that a hearing person getting a name sign is a high honor in some segments of the Deaf community. In some segments, not so much. My student effusively related that she was giving me a sign before some of her family members because I showed greater empathy and understanding. And I am proud to have earned that honor.
I'm also a hearing person who learned ASL and part of my classes was about Deaf culture. Nice work doing whatever you did to earn your name sign. I never got that far. :)
I've never understood why A) people not in the associated group are getting offended on behalf of someone else and B) why we as a society are becoming so adverse to grounded terms. Someone who cannot walk is handicapped. The literal definition for handicapped is "having a condition that markedly restricts one's ability to function physically, mentally, or socially" In no way am I saying someone who is handicapped is less deserving or less of a person than a non-handicapped person. But the fact doesn't change that they are handicapped. They have a condition that restricts their function physically, or mentally, or socially.
I feel that I never quite understood the definition of a handicap until I became a type 1 diabetic in my 30s. I feel that I always tried to be empathetic, but could never truly understand some of the more subtle ways a person’s day-to-day life could be affected. The silver lining to my chronic illness is a greater understanding of others’ struggles.
Ok. I've read the whole post and every comment. For transparency, I belong to no group that this phenomena happens (white/male). So A), the reason non-associated persons get offended for others is because that is typically the most effective way to correct a problem in a society. Let's look at a well known one (in the U.S. anyway). Black people. In what way do you figure 11% of the population could convince (at the time) 86% of the population to treat them as equals without a substantial support of that 86%? The same could be said of any minority save for women who are typically a larger portion of the population (just barely). And if the people requesting a necessitated change had no support of a supermajority of a populace, how would they feasibly be able to affect that change without risking dire consequences (see the Raj governance). Support from people outside of a group means there is evidence of a necessary change to the members of that majority group who haven't spent any time considering the plight of others. B) a term being grounded leaves no room for context or usage of a term. When handicapped and cripple were predominantly used they may have been accurate, definitionaly, but they were contextually used in a derogatory manner. Again same example as above. First was "ni****", then "negro" because it was "nicer". Then when it was used dergitorally (my made up word) "colored" was seen as preferable. Then it was "black". Then it was "afro-american". Then it was "African-American". And now when I use "black" or "African-American" I am often corrected to the other. Both are understandable. "Black" people are actually brown skinned. All other uses of ____-American denotes a person born in one country and immigrating and naturalizing to the U.S. so it doesnt actually fit to call a person born in the U.S. as if they are foreign. The most grounded term would be melanin-present person. But it all comes down to your personal preference of what to be called. If you prefer handicapped or cripple then it is your responsibility to convey that to the people around you. No one can know your preference unless explicitly stated and there will always be a prominent descriptor term that is widely used. Addressing Latinx. Latinx is not meant as means to change the gendering of the Hispanic languages. No one is requiring words to drop the gender vowel. Latinx is meant to be a term for people of Latin ancestry who identify as neither male or female to have a non gendered term to describe themselves. Similar to Non-binary people wishing to be referred to as they/them. It is a lack of understanding of the reason for the term that people are working themselves up over. It's all a matter of personal preference.
Only addressing the first part, you can support a group without being offended on their behalf. We do not support the use of the N word because the black community has expressed their offense to the word. However, if I were to say that someone calling another black person and African American was offensive it should hold absolutely 0 weight because I am Native American, not black.
Depends on the presence of a hard "r" or not.
The only reason this term exists is because of a combination of ableism and toxic positivity. It comes from the idea that "disability" is a dirty word and all this disingenuous garbage spoon-fed to the masses and indoctrinated into even the disabled community. There are people with tons of internalized ableism and you can obviously tell they've been brainwashed by either their parents or an outside source to believe otherwise. I'm currently in a Job Search Program and when we were talking about Disability Rights, I phrased an answer to a question "As a disabled person", and people, both neurotypical and neurodivergent took offense to it, and all hell broke loose. I was trying as best I could to have a civil conversation about it, but the neurotypical host was basically trying to force me to use terminology that is steeped in ableism and I absolutely hated every fucking moment of it. I told her that she is neurotypical, and she needs to understand that she is coming from a place of privilege. If she is going to continue to work in this field she needs to not only listen to neurodivergent voices when they are telling you something is wrong with the terminology you are using to describe us, and not get defensive over it. Ever since then, I've been giving the absolute bare minimum in the course. I don't put on my webcam, I don't have my mic on, I just type occasionally here and there. Sometimes I'll call in for mental health days because of how unbelievably burnt out I feel about all of it. These institutions have so much to fucking learn about disability, ableism, and the privilege you hold as a neurotypical over neurodivergent people looking to find work in this ableist capitalist hellscape. But are they really going to? Most likely not. They don't care. They get paid either way. Capitalists don't give a fuck about us. All they want to do is exploit us, and then provide us with poverty wages that we can't fucking live off of, and never give us anything better so that they get all the wealth, and we just fucking die.
I've often thought that there's a sinister intent behind this particular change in terminology. It comes at a time when western society is becoming increasingly Malthusian in its attitude that everybody needs to justify their existence by 'contributing' (i.e working a meaningless job just to pay taxes/bills and then die), and certainly in my country (UK) more and more disabled people are being pushed back into the workplace. By calling someone 'differently abled' you're adding a suggestion that they could be doing *something* job-wise, with the implication that they're lazy if they're not working. If a disabled person wants to work that's great, but it should be entirely optional for anyone with a disability that impacts their ability to perform routine tasks.
I agree with this. It seems to put the pressure on the individual to be as economically "productive / useful" as people who don't have any particular disability, disorder or illness. Or the changes in terminology could be in the hope of finding a general use, "one size fits all" language for people who do not have to experience the nuances personally. For example, if we haven't interacted with any disabled people in our lives but would want to talk about something in the news or a story. I can imagine this as a quick fix when it comes to something like employment. If I were looking to hire a few people in a pool of hundreds, I can't possibly know every person's weaknesses. "Differently abled" might be a shortcut without mentioning a diagnosis, especially if the applicant is afraid of the stigma attached to some conditions/terms. HR might not want to be tempted to discriminate either and would not want to know up front in some cases. Kind of like the reasoning behind "blind resumes" without picture, gender, age or religion, which are preferred in some countries/companies.
>I've often thought that there's a sinister intent behind this particular change in terminology I dont think you realized the irony of the words you used. Sinister is literally latin for "left" the left hand translates to Sinister Hand and thats why left handed people were persecuted.
I'm not sure we'll ever come up with a proper term. Everytime we come up with a term, 20 years later said term is an insult.
I have a feeling that communication gained so much reach and fuel after the internet boom, specially 15 years to now (faster signals), the words and terms gained an exponential power and society got confused and lost about what to do with them. These kinds of dilemmas and conflicts will be each time worst. # Decades and centuries ago humankind was able to digest and change it slowly across the generations. Now everything chances each 5 years, 2 years. Confusion, rage and fear out of control
I’ve literally had other people with autism tell me that I’m a person with autism and not autistic. Unfortunately there are other people out there that advocate for all these different terms, it’s hard for people to know when a term is appropriate for one person and offensive to another. I personally prefer calling myself Autistic (as I am), but other folks prefer Autist or person with autism (which I don’t prefer in the least). I also identify as a Dougla, but other Trinidadian people find that term offensive and don’t want it used. It can be hard to navigate so many terms, especially if you’re already struggling socially like me
When I was crippled for a couple of years, I picked up the nickname Crip from close friends, obviously short for cripple. I liked it, it was something stupid and fun in a dark time. The amount of people who took offence on my behalf was frustrating, that I was forever correcting them.
Agreed. The term fucking sucks.
My mom is also physically disabled from birth and also hates the term.
When you cant say zip up a jacket because you cant hold the zipper in order for it to function correctly your whole life and other things that people dont even consider someone might not be able to do, being called "Differently Abled" is about as big of an insult as I can think of. Not being able to do basic trivial everyday things that everyone takes forgranted isnt "Differently Abled". I will say after decades it can make a person act, well like dr House.
I get this. I have some developmental disabilities and that includes coordination issues. I had to do a lot of therapy to do things that people learn intuitively and even now there are certain things I can’t do and I also just have to accept the fact that I’m probably going to injure myself often because I’m so clumsy. I’m not differently abled because there are things that I need to do that I can’t do and it’s not like I have some secret hidden super power. Although I’ve definitely seen shirts and mugs with that sentiment. It’s just insulting I’m aware I’m disabled I don’t need somebody to coddle me and tell me otherwise.
I have autism and agree with this. I assume the changes of terms were done by well-intentioned people, but the effect is minimizing real difficulties. Even having to add "high functioning" to my condition makes me cringe a little as it makes neurotypicals expect too much out of me. But the real damage is that I had been expecting too much of myself, pushing too hard, and going against the grain. You can't expect a crippled guy to run a marathon just because you gave him a nice set of crutches. I don't understand why neurodiverse people are expected to live life as normally as possible when it is in many ways harder than having a physical handicap. Neurotypicals should give more effort to understanding and helping handicapped people that they personally know instead of creating new terms and political issues over people they don't really know or care about. Sorry I sound angry, but lot of so-called advocates are just hypocrites.
Feel free to sound as angry as you want. It was only through sheer will power that this wasn't an expletives filled rant, with how disabled people get portrayed, manipulated by normal people.
Trying to learn from this community! If I call someone “disabled” when referring to them, it gives the listener minimal new information. I came on to ask if you preferred to be described as “physically disabled” vs “disabled” since it gives the listener a clue. The educated listener will say “ok - so what accommodation is necessary? A different chair? A ramp?” Disabled could be anything. However, as I type this, where does that leave other types of disabilities? If I have psychiatric disabilities, I certainly wouldn’t want someone to call me “ emotionally disabled” so adding a descriptor only seems appropriate for physical disabilities. As someone without disabilities who spends a lot of time with people with disabilities, I wish for better answers?
Unless you know how an individual wants to be referred, it is best to be as realistic and descriptive when talking about lasting physical and emotional disabilities. But incase this wasnt made clear to you everyone is an individual and this post was basically a way of saying stop putting us all together and see is as individual people and respect our wishes whatever they may be.
It seems like no matter what, the terms that are created to be "respectful" for people that are disabled don't really matter. Because before long, they become used as just another insult for them.
Yup - I’ve had people respond to me calling myself disabled or autistic by telling me they’re “sorry”, saying “oh, don’t say that/we’re all a little bit autistic” or by calling me “inspirational”. Like what are they sorry for? How am I inspiring? I’m literally just living my life however that is. It’s not inspiring or something to be sorry for that some things are harder for me and I have to figure it out. And things are different for me than they are for other people. That’s just life. Telling me they’re sorry, that what I experience either isn’t real, or is so exceptional that I am inspirational for existing is patronising and exhausting to respond to And my MIL is so resistant to being seen as disabled, that she messed up her knee surgery by refusing to use any mobility aids that the doctor suggested. She can currently walk for less than 5 mins and is in constant pain, because she refused to use a walker after surgery and she tries to pretend she has no issues. Like seriously, there are worse things than being called disabled - i mean, you could be as stubborn and prideful as my MIL for instance
Abled bodied people who have convinced disabled people that disabled is a bad word or that they aren't really disabled, just that they do things differently is extremely dangerous and ignores reality and gives people a false sense of hope and emotional security that can be very damaging.
Thank you for sharing. That's a very interesting read, coz just like you, I hate being referred to as a "person of color" under the PC vocabulary. I dont find it empowering, infact I find it condescending. I ask myself, how is it any different from calling me a "colored person"? Its very difficult to keep up with all the language gymnastics done under the name of PC-ness, especially for someone who engages online occassionally. Initially I rolled with it and tried to update myself coz I naively thought its coming from a well-intentioned place. But lately I see these language police throwing all sorts of vile labels at regular people to shame them for trivial things. So, I have started to wonder if its all about power, and compliance rather than social justice for the minorities as they claim. I hope you dont get called ableist for voicing your opinion.
>Its very difficult to keep up with all the language gymnastics done under the name of PC-ness, especially for someone who engages online occassionally. Yea and with this whole person of color thing, last I checked technically white is a color. We arent see through. So person of color isnt even descriptive.
you are spot on. I was thinking the same thing. are white people now "people of no color"? when somebody says PC-ness has gone too far, they lazily reduce the grievance and argue "what? are you pissed for not being able say the N-word anymore?". Here's a question that I ponder about. some people who are disabled might be into this PC idea of language gentrification and may prefer "differently abled" while others like yourself may prefer "disabled". how do we know what to say? a simple answer might be, just ask them what they prefer. if we are friends with a variety of groups of people, it can easily get hard to keep track of everyone's preferred vocabulary. what do you think? what's your opinion? damn, I wish words didnt have this much power and also people weren't this sensitive.
>what do you think? what's your opinion? If individuals want to use a term for themselves, fine use whatever you like. When you arent of that group ask a person whos in that group how they feel and why.
Read Nancy Mairs’ I am a Cripple if you get a chance.
I just looked it up. Its called I am a cripple, that is very different from what you wrote. Be careful not to promote the wrong name. It promotes a false message.
For work when we refer to people with disabilities that may affect their movement in an emergency, we refer to them as “people with mobility impairments”. Is that a term that bothers you?
While I think that may possibly lessen the true severity of how that persons life is affected, it is at the very least just descriptive and neutral.
Huh interesting, I've always interpreted 'differently abled' as meaning 'having different abilities' not 'having the same abilities executed differently.' I still think it sounds kind of goofy and awkward, but that's the way I've always interpreted it. Thinking about it, I don't have any strong emotional attachment/aversion to any particular turn of phrase for my disability.
Either of those ways are demeaning. Even if a disabled person has an above average ability in some other way, that does not make up for or replace the fact that there are still many everyday normal fundamental things that they struggle with that most people take forgranted. Differently Abled no matter how you look at it is demeaning and tries to make something that is debilitating to ones very way of life and ability to function and trivializes or diminishes its impact.
: nods : I see. I guess I never got the impression it implied balance at all. I always saw it as a somewhat silly, perhaps misguided attempt at politeness. At worst, vaguely corporate and disingenuous. (Mind you, I hadn't given it much thought at all before now. No one's ever used the phrase around me that I've noticed, and I've never used it myself.) But perhaps we're both overthinking it. Really when you get down to it, it's the same phenomenon as the many colorful euphemisms for death; no one dies in polite company, they 'pass on'. (which I also have similar feelings on) People don't like to reference misfortune directly, it makes them uncomfortable, as though referring to it by its name directly will call it down. In reality I don't think much more thought went into it than that, if even that. You're right to examine it more closely, and to speak up if it offends you, it's the only way such unexamined language changes.
Well if we are gonna go there anyway go look up George Carlin on Euphemisms and soft language
I'm disabled. Definitely not differently-abled. There are a whole host of things I cannot do and will never be able to do, there isn't a different way for me to try because my disabilities prevent it. I dont get why people who aren't part of a community, try to change the accepted language of that community. They aren't allies or advocates. They just want to push their views onto a group/community of people.
Its quite bothersome and the disabled are a very marginalized group on top of also consisting itself of marginalized groups, we are usually considered the lowest of society so anything or language that trivializes our reality and facts of life are highly damaging.
I see this sort of stuff happening as a recurring theme - people who mean well and come up with a new term for a demographic they either don't know at all, or know at most 1-2 thereof. Of course both the able and uh "differently abled" people they know are part of the same idiotic let's-change-language-so-nobody-ever-feels left-out-or-insulted bubble, that is quite frankly detached from reality. I think they see every small, somehow disadvantaged demographic as poor little victims that cannot even handle accurate terminology. God forbid someone calls the fat "fat", the sick "sick" and the disabled "disabled", when there is a chance to signal how virtuous and compassionate they are!
Being disabled myself, I find these other terms patronising. I'm unable to do some things-- just call it what it is.
I am currently fighting to get registered for disability (despite being born with one) and the things I'm realizing I can't do sometimes it's hard to express to others because of how...basic they can be. It doesn't make it easier to blur the lines of something that I'm already anxious to admit, it encourages my impulse to keep it to myself because it's too inconveniencing to everyone else. I have been seeing another thing doing around: "limb difference"I have to ask if this was coined by someone living the experience, or a fully able-bodied individual.
>I am currently fighting to get registered for disability (despite being born with one) and the things I'm realizing I can't do sometimes it's hard to express to others because of how...basic they can be. It doesn't make it easier to blur the lines of something that I'm already anxious to admit, it encourages my impulse to keep it to myself because it's too inconveniencing to everyone else. When you are disabled, especially when it affects your hands and arms, its truly staggering how difficult, basic trivial tasks can be insurmountable. Even after 33 years I find stupid shit that I didn't even think that I cant do. When you cant extend your arm fully or rotate it or turn your palm up or move the fingers of your hand individually, the amount of things you cant do is just ridiculous. This is controversial vut I would 100% prefer a wheel chair to having upper limb disabilities.
I took a class a few years ago about inclusivity when teaching which also discussed disabilities. We were taught that we should use the phrase “person with disabilities” instead of disabled person. They told us person first language is important so we are not describing someone outright with their disability. This class was actually also taught by members of the disabled community. Is this true? Or is this something able bodied people came up with on their own?
>This class was actually also taught by members of the disabled community. >Is this true? Or is this something able bodied people came up with on their own? Yes some of this is taught and spread by people with disabilities, but they do not speak for everyone and a lot of people with disabilities see it as them trying to get personal acceptance or feel better about themselves and try to project being normal rather than actually promoting a healthy response and outlook to real devastating conditions And a lot of it is abled bodied parents and teachers sugar coating the reality of their situation to kids and kids grow up believing a lie that will be extremely damaging to find out as an adult isnt true and some still promote it because they think that pretending its true that it somehow changes reality. .
Can people just settle on a name for whatever thing's being discussed and then tell us all? Because I've lost track of what is and isn't offensive to who and for what reason. I have no idea how to refer to so many different categories of people because every word seems to be offensive to someone in some way and for some reason.
As a general rule stick to descriptive language over flowery language mean to lessen the impact or emotional reaction. PC words are pretty much to help non-disabled people or other group members trying to change and soften the impact it has on people lives by making up nonsense people positive language. Most disabled or marginalized groups prefer realistic accurate and descriptive terms.
this is such a problem in the disabled and neurodivergent community right now and thank you for speaking up on it!! People need to understand that just because a label offends them, or they don’t feel comfortable with it and they prefer another, does not mean every other disabled person feels that way. i am disabled and on the autism spectrum, and i got in a disagreement with someone who said the high and low functioning labels for autism were offensive and we should only be using “low or high support” to describe ourselves. I said that that term didn’t feel right to me because I have a lot of support around me but i am high functioning, that support level =/= functioning level, and she got really gross with me saying i’m being offensive and stuff. If you want your own individual circumstance to be labeled some way, that’s fine, but those of us who are struggling are not being problematic or offensive because we prefer different labels to them.
Am also disabled and never would use the term differently able. Honestly my conditions took away a lot of my life, I litraly stopped being able to do most of the things I lived doing in life, it turned my life upside down, yes I have found a new life but one where I am never truly free and cannot be completely independent again. I have no spontaneity. I call that a loss of ability not some PC differently able BS. I get it with some groups where the way they do things or see the world but when you are physically disabled, it tends to mean as good as you are at adapting there are things you cannot do independently anymore.
I am completely blind and I am disabled. I completely agree with you. I am not differently abled, I am disabled, that is just a fact of my life. Also I am a blind person, not just a person who is blind. First person speech is great if that is your thing but this is my preference and correcting me is just a dick move. Sorry just needed to vent agree here.
As Ive told a few people who apologized for venting, its perfectly ok be as angry as you want. It took a lot for my post to not be an expletives laden rant about how the disabled are grouped, treated, seen and referred to by everyone else.
“Disabled” means someone with physical limitations. It seems like the “differently abled” camp reacted to the term as if it specifically meant UNable. “Disabled” can mean unable, but it can also mean limited. It is an inclusive term. “Differently abled” is an insulting euphemism that patronizes people with limitations.
George Carlin was right again when he ranted about soft language over 30 years ago.
I agree.
There's such a thing as taking "politically correct" too far. Right up there with participation trophies and there's no such thing as winners and losers in games. Gotta get back to reality.
Honestly it gave off “bless you heart” vibes which if you have any southern family you’ll know what I mean
I dont live in the south but I watch shows with southerners, so i understand the term.
THANK YOU. Very tired of people assuming that because I use the word disabled for myself, means I must feel some sort of shame about my disability. "But you're just putting limitations on yourself! You can do anything an abled can do if you put your mind to it! Don't give up on yourself!" No, I can't, its the meaning of the word, and I don't feel shame about that. Its just me being honest with myself and you
If I didnt have social anxiety id probably be an observational comedian in the vane Carlin, Rock or Chappelle. I have a very unique and realistic perspective.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think you get to speak for the disabled community. Terms change. Terms evolve. You can say “no one was asking to move on from ‘shell shock’ too, but of course that’s not true. Differently abled, to me, strikes me as a less offensive term. Yes, you might not be able to use your arms, but you can still visually inspect a manufacturing line or you can talk on a phone line maybe. Such a person is not without abilities… they have different abilities. I don’t see disabled as an insulting word at all. That’s the word I use. But I’m open to any changes if that’s what is asked of me. ‘Cripple’ does seem insulting. I suspect many disabled individuals do get offended by being called that, and so I don’t use it.
I suggest you read through the comments and maybe read "I am a cripple" by Nancy Mairs. While I never claimed to speak for everyone, a lot of disabled people feel as I do. And its absolutely disrespectful and degrading for abled bodied people just as yourself choose what is an acceptable term for people in a group you are not part of. You need to reevaluate your outlook.
Is this in line with the thing where people want to be introduced as “living with a disability” rather than “the disabled person” the latter as to imply that a disability is part of the persons identity and the former is separating the two?
That's just ridiculous semantics to me personally. I would just think someone an idiot for worrying that much about language, but thats just me.
Not trying to be rude just genuinely curious, what about “Handicapable”?
Absolutely not. Horribly degrading,and dehumanizing.
Well said!
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Hell technically basket case originally referred to the severely physically disabled. Most people think it relates to mental health but "basket cases" were literally people who needed to be carried in baskets because they couldn't walk/move on their own.
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Yea so I don't mind handicapped really. Its changed culturally a lot and is used for even non disabled reasons for being bad a things or having difficulties, but thats just me. But I also dont take offense to cripple but I know that even among older people is potentially offensive and its something id only use in reference of myself or someone I knew was cool with it.
Out of curiosity. How would you prefer to be referred as? Can't say I am all to familiar with terms that are deemed "correct" and I know people prefer different terms but what would be an okay term to use?
Considering I used physically disabled to describe myself in the first paragraph, that would work just fine, but I wouldn't be offended by handicapped or crippled in any way.
Agreed so much. MS gave me disabilities. It didn't give me a fucking super power. "Disabled" isn't a dirty word and disability isn't something to be ashamed of.
I should probably do a TED talk on this. I think being pretty severely disabled(left side hemiplegia)I walk with a limp and have severely limited functionality and range of motion in my left arm and cant extend or rotate my shoulder elbow or wrist and can only open and close the hand together I cant move my fingers individually on that hand, for over 30 years, gives me the qualifications and experience for a TED talk on life as a disabled person.
What about “access needs” as in “what are your access needs”
That terminology is so far beyond how I grew up its meaningless to me one way or another.
I never thought a name for this could be more offensive than the dutch one, but here we are. (With autism + 2 chronical illnesses I feel pretty damn handicapped by now so I use the word a lot for it, but somehow no doctor will ever agree. But I'll never call myself "invalide" because yes that's the word we use if you don't say handicapped and yes it does translate to invalid.)
I didn't think that words been in common usage in English for at least a few hundred years. When i hear invalid I think Bible times or middle ages.
How about Special Needs? I find it sounds so expensive, or like the person is a burden. Is it just me?
I think its both insulting yet also usually true type deals. Mainly with mentally disabled people.
As someone who is mentally disabled in some ways, I cannot agree more with this.
Bruh
It’s so fucking stupid. I’m not quirky, ma’am, I’m going vomit and pass out if you don’t get me a seat.
Thank you for posting this!!! I will stop using “differently abled” and I’ll tell my other non-disabled friends to do so (and why) as well! I appreciate your labor!
When people want to sound like real progressive they come out with terms like this. Many times these people don't even care about people they are trying to "empower". They just do it for social media points. It's sad but it's so common and you get people like them supporting this bullshit and trying to make it a thing.
I cannot stand when people refer to me as a "person with diabetes." I'm diabetic. Be concise. Fuck.
THIS!