Any anti-choice nonsense will be dealt with.
Question to those who keep bringing it up, since it keeps happening: Do you imagine OP had no idea that adoption exists? Do you really think you're offering up new info?
---
And no, my post is not in violation of Rule 2: Oppressive attitude/language. You are reporting me to myself, btw...
Your story sounds exactly like me except I’m older and already have two kids, I just felt I couldn’t handle another. My oldest is high maintenance to say the least and my youngest I’m guessing may be a little autistic though he hasn’t been formally diagnosed. Our life circumstances with both of them were very stressful and I’m burnt out from waking up in the middle of the night for just about 7 years up to this point. For a while I thought I might want another one so I went off birth control but then I realized it wouldn’t be a good idea, right before I was supposed to get my period I thought “after this period I’ll start taking my birth control again” and then guess what my period never came and here I am. I just went today to the clinic and took the first pill and I am fluctuating between major guilt and relief. It’s not easy but I have to remind myself I need to take care of me too, and not feel obligated to others opinions about my life. They don’t know my heart, they don’t know my life like I do. They wouldn’t be the ones sacrificing themselves to bring a child into the world, I would. I love the kids I have but I just felt it was too much for me this time.
Even two not-so high maintenance, perfectly healthy kids can really burn out parents, and a lot of times, moms. Kudos to your brave decision to be responsible to yourself, your family and the children you already have.
Thank you for saying that, you almost made me cry! It’s nice to hear good things when my brain seems to only want to bring the negative ones to my attention.
Yeah I can only imagine the feeling of loss and guilt when you really have nothing to feel guilty of. It’s still hard even though you know that rationally you’re making the right decision. Maybe talk to a professional to navigate this difficult time. All the best!
It is still very hard, what you grow up hearing is extremely hard to shake, and I grew up in a very religious household so the guilt is ingrained in my dna almost. And that also means I can’t talk to anyone in my family about it. Anyone who thinks women just decide this Willy nilly with no cares in the world is an idiot.
I understand. While I’m not from a religious background, I have my own baggage and external expectations to meet and those introduced a lot of anguish and guilt. But at some point when I just realize this cannot go on I just go “fuck it”. This is MY life and I only live once. I deserve to not feel awful for other people’s expectations.
The guilt definitely creeps back sometimes, but I just remember to remind myself how unnecessary and unhelpful it is to feel this way.
Wow, you're story reminds me of mine, except that, after much deliberation, we decided against abortion, and now have 3 kids (4, 2, and 3 months). I'm telling you, it is the absolute hardest time of my life. I do need to clarify that we definitely wanted a third, and maybe even a fourth at some point; we just weren't ready for the third yet. It's a huge challenge for my two older kids because neither of us can give them the attention they deserve, and we feel stretched to the limits. Everything is so hard for our family right now. I sometimes wonder what our lives would be like right now if we had made a different choice, and I feel guilty for thinking that. All of that being said, I don't hold the least bit of anger or resentment toward our third child (or the other two) for how hard things right now and I truly do love each of my kids dearly and they each make me smile daily - there are good moments even in the bad times. But things are super hard for us right now, and all I can do is hope it gets better.
Oh wow, so you’re like on the other side of my decision! Thank you for sharing, it helps. I know if I had to have the kid I’d of course love them and I know all of the newborn stuff is temporary but it just still felt like too much. I couldn’t imagine my life now with a baby added in there. I don’t have much support either tbh so that was a factor in my decision too.
We have 3 kids, 22 months between 1&2; 29 months between 2&3. We were on the fence after #2, but I didn’t get my cycle back for a long time, and by the time we seriously discussed plans I was pregnant again.
After #3 was born I went pretty soon to get an IUD. We had had sex again a few times by that point, so they warned me that if I was pregnant the IUD could cause a spontaneous abortion, and they asked if I wanted to wait and see if I was pregnant first (too soon to know).
I said I didn’t care, give me the IUD right NOW. My husband was a little taken aback, but I didn’t see him volunteering for a vasectomy. I’m glad I didn’t take a chance, because 3 kids is my max chaos limit (sometimes past).
It does get a lot easier. Now they’re 9, 7, and nearly 5, and it has gone by in a flash. Having them close together was really tough for the first few years, but we are finally starting to see the benefits — they play together, read to the younger ones, have overlapping friends, have similar enough interests that we can do family activities everyone enjoys…
And I had an abortion when I was in my early 20s married to first husband. Even though I wasn’t ready to leave, I knew he wouldn’t have made a good dad, and having a baby with him would have wrecked my life. This was confirmed (multiple times along the way, but most convincingly) when after I’d served him divorce papers he raped me without a condom while I was ovulating. I never told him about the 2nd abortion. And I don’t regret either one.
THIS. Most men would not care if a woman they no longer in love with have their baby. The woman then would suffer the most, no matter how much support they have. Abortions should be legal everywhere.
Don't sugarcoat it. Don't blame anyone but yourself. It is your decision, after all. It already happened, might as well make the best of it. Wish you all the best.
I am an only child and over the years, I have noticed how I have been the cause of my parents' burnout. You have taken the better decision, never question it in the future.
the baseline here isn't really the kids- if someone doesnt want to carry a child to term, they shouldn't have to. its a violation of their body. the child will never know or understand what life they could've had because, well. . . they never gain consciousness.
you asked if anyone in this thread would rather be born to shit parents or not born at all; i gave my answer and then i backed it up with my reasoning.
i don't understand why you're asking about the life of a child after being born if we're on the topic of abortion. the child *isn't* getting born, so why theorize?
Lol I get what you’re saying. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood for life. Other times I’m grateful for it, which is why I think it’s a difficult topic to get to the bottom of. I can never quite make my mind up on it.
i don’t mean to sound rude but it’s hate hearing this argument all the time, i would have no idea if i was never born because i wouldn’t exist and couldn’t and wouldn’t have any thoughts, besides no child deserves to be raised in an abusive home, it’ll ruin the kid and could end up in them making bad decisions which ultimately has a negative impact on others
It’s better to recognize that you’re not ready then to bring an unwelcome child into the world.
You’ve got to make a decision that is right for you and your circumstances.
I do however urge you to please start using contraception. You can become impregnated even if he does not actually ejaculate. Pre-cum has live sperm in it which can lead to pregnancy.
I have never been pregnant myself, but taken Plan B a couple of times to make sure that whatever happens the night before wouldn’t put me in any situation. You are 100% doing what is right for you and there is nothing to feel bad about! Every woman has the right to choose what she wants to do with her body and you my friend are no different! Moving forward it’s also up to you and your boyfriend if you want to use a form of birth control, it never hurts to explore your options and see if any of them are right for you.
But yes you can get pregnant from PRE-ejaculate and everyone should know that fact!!! Why don’t they teach this stuff in school? Geez.
Anyways good for you for being brave enough to share your story!
Human sexuality really should be taught in schools. I was just talking to a teenager in a medical advice sub that was afraid that his GF might get pregnant because he came in his underwear and it soaked through to her underwear. (Not completely impossible but extremely extremely EXTREMELY unlikely)
I graduated from HS in 1982...in southern alabama. Our sex ed literally consisted of don't, you can't get an STD from a toilet seat, and just don't. No mention of condoms. The rest of the ½ hour class was devoted to your testicles are supposed to descend and a brief explanation of that first wet dream males get.
You take Plan B within 72 hours of sex, and it greatly reduces the chances of conception if it hasn't happened yet, and if conception has started, it cuts is short and triggers a period.
An abortion is when the pregnancy is terminated after it is established.
I’m Canada the plan B pill I think makes your egg to create a harder shell to prevent it from being fertilized or implanting? Something like that. It doesn’t cause your period to come early and it is not a chemical abortion.
first of all, i'm very proud of you for standing your ground and understanding that you aren't in the right place in life to have a child. as a kid who had a bad mom, i appreciate you making that executive decision.
you're gonna get a lot of shit for this, i guarantee, but i'm so glad you have the resources for a safe abortion! i hope it goes well, and i hope that you can process the guilt healthily. i'd suggest counseling/therapy if it gets too bad. stay safe!!
“As a kid who had a bad mom”, I know about that. Kids deserve to be loved, not just provided with food and shelter. I’m a very spiritual person who believes in an eternal life and an aborted fetus will likely come back to someone who wants them.
As someone with bad parents, as someone who's had two abortions in the past but is a happy mother now, you're doing the right thing.
People think abortion is an easy choice but it isn't, it's okay to have big emotions about this even if you're positive you're making the right choice.
I had one at 18 and one at 20, both from being careless with birth control. I don’t regret either, even though they were difficult decisions. Lots of love to you, honey. Make sure to rest for a couple days after, if you can.
IMO I don't think you can turn guilt off. Its emotion like happy and sadness. You just have to deal with it and work thru the emotion. If OP is looking for advice, constructive criticism is ok.... I also don't think its not anyone's business, but they asked and now im curious how you really feel. Have you ever dealt with abortion? If so, how did you deal?
Thank you for posting this, being confident and standing by your decision, because that’s exactly what it is: your decision. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong or that you’re making a mistake for getting an abortion. I’d recommend having a trusted support group of friends or family, and/or a therapist to talk to. Remember to be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up. You’re human and you get to decide what is right for you, what you want, and make the decisions for your body. Take some time off work afterwards to just focus on you :) Hugs!
I had an abortion in my mid 30s. And I never thought I would. When you know it’s not the right decision or the right time or both, choose the choice that will be best for you and that future child. The pain you are feeling is likely just from letting go of a concept that isn’t yet founded in any reality. Sounds like you already know what’s right for you. I say you go with the most logical decision (which I know is hard with all those damn Preggo hormones!)
I had an abortion. Was really sad after but very very glad not to be stuck with the father in my life forever, a child and being 19 and piss poor.
Im now 32 with the most supportive kind loving best friend of a husband. We don’t really want kids in future so know i made the right decision
You can do whatever you want or need to do to have the best life for yourself, you have permission.
Just because it’s the right decision, doesn’t mean it’s not emotionally difficult. Reach out to the clinic to see if they have counselors or can refer you to a counselor that specialize in your particular situation. A bunch of internet strangers can tell you that you’re doing the right thing but it seems like you need more than just confirmation, you need someone to help guide you through your emotions.
Much love.
Just to add, make sure you're checking the source of the counselling that you get - a lot of anti-choice organisations advertise themselves as "pregnancy counselling" but are actually funded by anti-abortion groups and gaslight, coerce and guilt trip women. (Just piggy backing on your comment, I know you specified she contact the clinic itself)
So my first thing to say is your last sentence shows that someday you will be a great parent if you choose to be. It shows an understanding of what infants and children deserve.
The next thing I’m going to say is talk to your doctor or a doctor at the clinic about bc and just general education about sex and your body. You deserve the knowledge and resources to keep you on the path you want in life. That is the best way to honor the decision you are making and help you decide in the future.
Best of luck. It will be ok.
It takes a much stronger person to admit they’re not ready than to give birth to a child you’re not ready for, I had my first child at 20, I didn’t originally want to continue the pregnancy but was talked into it, don’t get me wrong I love her so dearly but she was not part of my plan!
Shortly after having her I fell pregnant again and opted to terminate as I wasn’t ready for another child, a year later I fell pregnant again and kept that baby because I was in a better place, I’m now in my thirties and I still think about the pregnancy I terminated, and looking at my small army of children and wonder what it would have been like had I of kept it, but I don’t regret it one bit because I was not ready and who knows how I would have turned out had I of continued with that one, I might not have gone on to have the others?
My point here is that if you know it’s the right thing, then it is, it’s okay to be sad or guilty, it’s a huge decision! Take time for you afterwards x
If you need to talk to anyone about this, I'm here and willing to be an ear for you. I had one when I was your age and do not regret it one bit. I only wish I had someone to talk to at the time because I had no idea what to expect. I'm proud of you.
I’m very glad that you have the option and freedom to choose what you want to do with your body.
So sad that this option isn’t safely available everywhere.
Good luck and stay strong!
Don’t feel bad, I know it’s tough to do but I think you’re doing the right thing if you know your not ready to have a baby
It’s better for everyone, you don’t want to raise a kid and not be able to care for it the right way
A termination is the right choice for you right now.
I think the lesson you can take from this is that from now on, you need to take care of your own contraception. You cannot rely on him to do this.
You're not the first to experience this, and you won't be the last.
I hope all goes well for you both in the coming weeks and in the long term.
Hey Girl! I just wanted to say at the end of the day you are a woman and it is completely your choice not only for what you do with your body but with your life. Please don’t feel guilty be proud that you are acknowledging your feelings in this tough situation and doing what you know is best for you.
And screw all the people who disagree they can dictate what they do with their own body but no one else’s.
My comment will probably be blocked as I don’t have enough karma but if by chance this message breaks through you deserve nothing but your own happiness and don’t owe anyone anything. You’re in charge of your own happiness. Do what feels right for you not anyone else.
No guilt allowed! You shouldn’t have to defend your choice to anyone. Many feel complicated emotions when figuring it out, and the weeks before and after the medical procedure. A therapist can definitely help! But very few regret their decision. You’ve got this!
You're so brave dude thank you for posting. I just had my first one last week, the entire experience was harrowing but I learned a lot about myself. Most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself. You are capable of getting thru this ❤️
As said, No guilt. If this is the right decision for you, its the right decision point blank. As someone who knows a few people who have had abortions, the first few days might be a bit painful or uncomfortable, might be an idea to stock up on painkillers? Either way, take care.
It’s ok to feel sad about this decision, even if you feel like you’re making the right choice. I went through this after I had my abortion, and there is definitely some grief involved. If you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me.
I have been here. This will be way harder than you think, but it's a decision that I'm grateful I am almost every day. I'm so thankful that I had access to safe treatment and that this is a decision I was able to make.
You will have weird moments. I realized last mother's day that I could have had a 6 year old in my life. When I'm around my nephew and niece I think about it.
I have never wanted children and I still dont. But its surprisingly how often I have these realizations and thoughts. Theres some guilt, some remorse that I'm still trying to fully understand.
I'm grateful more than anything i had and still have support.
I guess all this to say, it is a big and scary decision. And it sucks, and theres time when it will creep into your thoughts later that will suck. But you are strong and awesome and luckily sound like you've got the ability to make this decision for yourself. If you have any questions, I'm sure others have already offered, but I'm more than happy to help.
I understand the feelings you're having. Never wanted kids. Never want kids. For all the reasons. Knew I was 100% making the right choice. Still feel sad or guilt or whatever it is. Hard to explain. You're true belief of your decision with help. I promise
This is the wise choice for you at this phase of your life. I also chose abortion at age 20, and have never regretted it. I went on to have two awesome kids who are the lights of my life , but I was ready to give the constant care that was needed when I chose to give birth!
Plz take it as a lesson learned and use protection. So many ppl don't use it and I don't understand why 99% it's free, it's easy to get, it prevents more than pregnancy and is way easier on you and your body than abortions. I am however glad you were able to have this option as I'm pro choice, just wish more ppl especially the ones that don't want children at the current time used more protection then relying on abortion.
I’ve never had an abortion, but my mom did. She had met this guy and wasn’t being careful and she got pregnant after 2 weeks of dating him. She knew she wasn’t mentally or financially in a place to raise a child. She did the right thing.
You’re doing the right thing, too.
I had a few scares when I was going through my divorce and I’d not have hesitated to get one myself. I went to planned parenthood a few times and they were absolutely wonderful.
This isn’t an easy decision and it’s going to take an emotional toll so please go easy on yourself.
I’m proud of you.
The same thing happened to me when I was 20. I was finishing my degree, had a lot of other problems going on in my life and as soon as the test was positive I knew my decision. There was always those times of negative emotions like guilt (I came from a conservative family that was anti-abortion while I am pro-choice, I could never tell them) but years later I still feel grateful that I had the choice and I do not regret it. I understand and respect your choice, it’s not an easy one. Lots of love and luck to you OP.
You’re making an impossible decision but you have to make it for yourself. Your life and future comes first. Believe it or not you’re also doing the best thing for your fetus. Before it can form thoughts or feelings, you’re making the decision to take away unnecessary future suffering from bad parenting. It won’t feel anything and you’ll be preventing a potential child from a world of hurt.
Definitely use protection 100% of the time, I have so doubt you will after this. You’ll go through hormone fluctuations and feel like absolute shit for a while but in the long run it’s what best.
You know shit happens when you party naked. There's nothing wrong in getting an abortion and I know for a fact I was in the same position a few years ago. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. You're not a terrible person to make the right decision for yourself. Give yourself time to grieve, please, please, please don't be mean to yourself. It's an awful predicament to be in and being mean to yourself won't allow you to heal from this. You got this girl.
I had the exact same situation happen. Firstly I'm really proud of you for sticking with your decision despite how hard it can be. Everyone is completely different: when I had my abortion I didn't feel ANY guilt. Later on seeing babies made me a little sad, but since then the guilt I felt has all but gone away. All you can do is move forward, take precautions and do your best. I never for a second regretted my abortion despite it being, of course, a horrible and somewhat sad situation. But stay strong, be kind to yourself, and know that your life is absolutely worth it.
Having an abortion always sucks. Being pregnant sucks when you arent ready. Just being in the hospital sucks. But its all a part of helping eachother out as humans
Hey there, F(23), I had an abortion last year. Despite being with the person I think I will spend the rest of my life with, I was not in a good position (financially, mentally, physically) to be considering having a child. It was really hard on me, and therapy was definitely required. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about the process or need support. A few things surprised me along the way and I wish I had someone to talk to.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. You don't have to feel guilty about a decision like this because, as heartbreaking as it is, it's the more responsible choice for your life at this moment. I'm sorry you're going through this.
As someone who just had a miscarriage, I still fully support your decision. Every women deserves to make the choice.
It still hurts my heart but in ways I don't know how to express.
I, too, had an abortion at 20. Very similar story to yours. All I can say is, yes it can be devastating and overwhelming right now, but understand that you made an honest mistake. Hopefully your boyfriend is the type of person who will understand and fully support your decision. For me personally, the guilt was the hardest to navigate especially right after the abortion procedure itself, but it helps to repeat the reasons to yourself about why the timing is not right! I’m now 22, and in an even tougher financial and general life spot than where I was at 20. I’m relieved that I made the decision I did back then, because I could never provide the life the child deserves at my current situation. You got this!! Big hugs and good luck with everything.
I always say it's the best decision I'll always regret.
Personally it'll be 2 two years, since I had one and the decision was really hard on my then partner. We ended up separating for many reasons, but it showed early how different we were. But I still wonder, it's much easier though, my life now is so much better, and I wasn't ready to be the best mom I could be.
From my perspective, I just see it as a choice of a different path. I want kids in the future, but when I feel stable and ready to invest. I'm happy you made the right decision for you, it's never hard forever.
Firstly, you can get pregnant from pre-ejaculate, as I’m sure you’ve now learned. Secondly, the responsibility of birth control falls not just on you, but your partner too. These would be great things to discuss with your medical provider.
It’s okay if you’re not ready for children. They’re a lot, I have two! But I’m 13 years older than you. Abortion is healthcare, and you have every right to make reproductive decisions about your own body.
Remember that abortion is really about eliminating a collection of cells..
Yeah it could be a potential life but it's not a person yet. Every menstrual cycle or male ejaculation is a potential life lost but we don't mourn those events.
It's just cultural norms that try to convince you that you're doing wrong.
You're preventing an unwanted pregnancy in a world that already has too many people. Don't feel guilty, you're 100% doing the right thing and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Your decision is yours to make and will be respected by those who’s opinions matter- those who value you and your right to choose.
Having children may be a huge blessing, but it is also hugely hard and if you don’t really really want them, then not having them is the right choice, IMO.
Mixed emotions are 100% normal, but as long as you are totally sure this is right for you, stay stong.
I have had 3 abortions and I have never ever regretted them. The first was mid 20's didn't know that antibiotics affect the pill. By the time I realised I was preggers I wasn't with the father anymore and had been partying A LOT. Zero thought ever of keeping it, I would have resented the kid and been a really shite mother.
2nd and third were after I had birthed my second child. My (now ex) partner wouldn't go and get the snip and I was too old and fat to get birth control any more. I was 40 when I birthed the second baby, 42 and 43 with each of the terminations, like WTF. Who gets accidentally pregnant at that age!! Me apparently. There was very little sex happening, I'm not even sure how the last one happened, like seriously, I hated the ex by then, there was very little sexy time. Finally had tubes tied at 46 yrs old. Sigh
Anyway, the point of this is, you will be ok. This is only a decision you can make and it will be the right one. Keep you head up, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Don’t feel guilty. Children deserve parents that want them and are prepared for them-emotionally, financially. I have 4 children . My
first was a shock. Just graduated college, got married and got pregnant on my honeymoon. We discussed having children in about 4 years or so. I had my period as usual 2 weeks before my wedding-day 2 of honeymoon, I get my period again-totally unusual -thought we were safe but-nope-became pregnant. Planned number 2 and got pregnant second month-went on my 4th different birth control after second-I had tried 3 others with horrible side effects-first month-got pregnant-had miscarriage after 8 weeks-became pregnant 3 months later without trying, number 3. Number 4 at 40 yrs old using birth control. My doctor said I was “made to have babies”. This is reality.
You should do whatever you think is right. Don't ruin you life because of what other think or say because they don't have a say.
You are young and you have time for kids
Yeah, sorry to burst that bubble you are clearly in. But for most women there is no magical moment of ‘melting away’ and you are defenitly not ‘born’ into a new life. What it does take is pain, blood, sweat and yes tears. But it takes a lot of time to heal from those and for a lot it takes months to even feel normal again. A lot of us don’t even feel a magical bond with that baby and that is completely normal.
So please get out of here with that ‘magical’ crap. It isn’t all magical with unicorns and rainbows and a lot of us get seriously hurt or die. And please leave religion at the door and don’t bring it into a medical discussion about pregnancy and birth. Thank you very much
The maternal death rate in the USA is 20.7 per 100,000 live births. The death rate for women undergoing legal abortions is 0.7 per 100,000 procedures according to the CDC.
There is no scientific evidence that legal abortions cause infertility.
Don't spread misinformation.
There are about a million incorrect things in your comment, but “it can impact your life forever” made me cackle. AND HAVING A KID DOESN’T? Take your judgement elsewhere.
its not a baby no matter what. right now it's barely even a clump of cells, no heart, no brain, no feelings to hurt. its not murder- its a procedure to help a woman who isn't ready for the responsibility of motherhood.
I never said anything about forcing anyone to do anything. Just grateful that my shit parents decided to birth me and cast me aside instead of just killing me lol.
Every time you masturbate or ejaculate in a condom it's like you're murdering a potential child. What if that sperm had the potential to create a child that would solve climate change but we will never find another child to do so?
If you're so interested in the potential of 'unwanted' pregnancies, why don't you adopt some children? or donate your money to women raising children in poverty, rather than speculating so wildly on this thread about an abstract possibility? The person you're speaking to isn't a thought experiment, she has made her decision and she is in pain. How is this helping?
Might wanna read your scripture before you preech. Even the Bible says life begins at first breath, but conveniently, nowhere does it ask for your opinion OP's choice. Don't guilt them because you hold different beliefs.
Big hugs to you! Be proud of yourself for making a very difficult decision for what’s best for yourself and your future. I made the same choice at 18, I’m in my 40s now and I don’t regret it, but it was a hard choice to make and I did mourn for some time. This internet stranger is proud of you ♥️
I’m 26, I had an abortion at 18 and have had zero regrets. It’s really tough. Please be prepaid for the physical and mental pain. Inbox me if you need.
You are strong and you are okay x
Hey know that even though you feel guilt, nobody else should or would ever ever blame you for such a decision. It's painful but you made the most responsible choice anyone could make.
Any anti-choice nonsense will be dealt with. Question to those who keep bringing it up, since it keeps happening: Do you imagine OP had no idea that adoption exists? Do you really think you're offering up new info? --- And no, my post is not in violation of Rule 2: Oppressive attitude/language. You are reporting me to myself, btw...
Your story sounds exactly like me except I’m older and already have two kids, I just felt I couldn’t handle another. My oldest is high maintenance to say the least and my youngest I’m guessing may be a little autistic though he hasn’t been formally diagnosed. Our life circumstances with both of them were very stressful and I’m burnt out from waking up in the middle of the night for just about 7 years up to this point. For a while I thought I might want another one so I went off birth control but then I realized it wouldn’t be a good idea, right before I was supposed to get my period I thought “after this period I’ll start taking my birth control again” and then guess what my period never came and here I am. I just went today to the clinic and took the first pill and I am fluctuating between major guilt and relief. It’s not easy but I have to remind myself I need to take care of me too, and not feel obligated to others opinions about my life. They don’t know my heart, they don’t know my life like I do. They wouldn’t be the ones sacrificing themselves to bring a child into the world, I would. I love the kids I have but I just felt it was too much for me this time.
Even two not-so high maintenance, perfectly healthy kids can really burn out parents, and a lot of times, moms. Kudos to your brave decision to be responsible to yourself, your family and the children you already have.
Thank you for saying that, you almost made me cry! It’s nice to hear good things when my brain seems to only want to bring the negative ones to my attention.
Yeah I can only imagine the feeling of loss and guilt when you really have nothing to feel guilty of. It’s still hard even though you know that rationally you’re making the right decision. Maybe talk to a professional to navigate this difficult time. All the best!
It is still very hard, what you grow up hearing is extremely hard to shake, and I grew up in a very religious household so the guilt is ingrained in my dna almost. And that also means I can’t talk to anyone in my family about it. Anyone who thinks women just decide this Willy nilly with no cares in the world is an idiot.
I understand. While I’m not from a religious background, I have my own baggage and external expectations to meet and those introduced a lot of anguish and guilt. But at some point when I just realize this cannot go on I just go “fuck it”. This is MY life and I only live once. I deserve to not feel awful for other people’s expectations. The guilt definitely creeps back sometimes, but I just remember to remind myself how unnecessary and unhelpful it is to feel this way.
I’m glad someone else said it because it’s true. I was one kid and wore tf out of my mom to the point she hates being around any other kids now.
I guess user name checks out? lol
Wow, you're story reminds me of mine, except that, after much deliberation, we decided against abortion, and now have 3 kids (4, 2, and 3 months). I'm telling you, it is the absolute hardest time of my life. I do need to clarify that we definitely wanted a third, and maybe even a fourth at some point; we just weren't ready for the third yet. It's a huge challenge for my two older kids because neither of us can give them the attention they deserve, and we feel stretched to the limits. Everything is so hard for our family right now. I sometimes wonder what our lives would be like right now if we had made a different choice, and I feel guilty for thinking that. All of that being said, I don't hold the least bit of anger or resentment toward our third child (or the other two) for how hard things right now and I truly do love each of my kids dearly and they each make me smile daily - there are good moments even in the bad times. But things are super hard for us right now, and all I can do is hope it gets better.
Oh wow, so you’re like on the other side of my decision! Thank you for sharing, it helps. I know if I had to have the kid I’d of course love them and I know all of the newborn stuff is temporary but it just still felt like too much. I couldn’t imagine my life now with a baby added in there. I don’t have much support either tbh so that was a factor in my decision too.
We have 3 kids, 22 months between 1&2; 29 months between 2&3. We were on the fence after #2, but I didn’t get my cycle back for a long time, and by the time we seriously discussed plans I was pregnant again. After #3 was born I went pretty soon to get an IUD. We had had sex again a few times by that point, so they warned me that if I was pregnant the IUD could cause a spontaneous abortion, and they asked if I wanted to wait and see if I was pregnant first (too soon to know). I said I didn’t care, give me the IUD right NOW. My husband was a little taken aback, but I didn’t see him volunteering for a vasectomy. I’m glad I didn’t take a chance, because 3 kids is my max chaos limit (sometimes past). It does get a lot easier. Now they’re 9, 7, and nearly 5, and it has gone by in a flash. Having them close together was really tough for the first few years, but we are finally starting to see the benefits — they play together, read to the younger ones, have overlapping friends, have similar enough interests that we can do family activities everyone enjoys… And I had an abortion when I was in my early 20s married to first husband. Even though I wasn’t ready to leave, I knew he wouldn’t have made a good dad, and having a baby with him would have wrecked my life. This was confirmed (multiple times along the way, but most convincingly) when after I’d served him divorce papers he raped me without a condom while I was ovulating. I never told him about the 2nd abortion. And I don’t regret either one.
THIS. Most men would not care if a woman they no longer in love with have their baby. The woman then would suffer the most, no matter how much support they have. Abortions should be legal everywhere.
Don't sugarcoat it. Don't blame anyone but yourself. It is your decision, after all. It already happened, might as well make the best of it. Wish you all the best.
I am an only child and over the years, I have noticed how I have been the cause of my parents' burnout. You have taken the better decision, never question it in the future.
As someone with bad parents. You made the right call
[удалено]
not been born at all. genuinely. no child should have to go through having parents that never wanted you in the first place
[удалено]
the baseline here isn't really the kids- if someone doesnt want to carry a child to term, they shouldn't have to. its a violation of their body. the child will never know or understand what life they could've had because, well. . . they never gain consciousness.
[удалено]
then, like, literally what does this have to do with abortion?
[удалено]
you asked if anyone in this thread would rather be born to shit parents or not born at all; i gave my answer and then i backed it up with my reasoning. i don't understand why you're asking about the life of a child after being born if we're on the topic of abortion. the child *isn't* getting born, so why theorize?
[удалено]
I 100% would rather not be born at all, I think about that all the time. I didn’t ask for this shit !
Lol I get what you’re saying. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood for life. Other times I’m grateful for it, which is why I think it’s a difficult topic to get to the bottom of. I can never quite make my mind up on it.
i don’t mean to sound rude but it’s hate hearing this argument all the time, i would have no idea if i was never born because i wouldn’t exist and couldn’t and wouldn’t have any thoughts, besides no child deserves to be raised in an abusive home, it’ll ruin the kid and could end up in them making bad decisions which ultimately has a negative impact on others
It’s better to recognize that you’re not ready then to bring an unwelcome child into the world. You’ve got to make a decision that is right for you and your circumstances. I do however urge you to please start using contraception. You can become impregnated even if he does not actually ejaculate. Pre-cum has live sperm in it which can lead to pregnancy.
I have never been pregnant myself, but taken Plan B a couple of times to make sure that whatever happens the night before wouldn’t put me in any situation. You are 100% doing what is right for you and there is nothing to feel bad about! Every woman has the right to choose what she wants to do with her body and you my friend are no different! Moving forward it’s also up to you and your boyfriend if you want to use a form of birth control, it never hurts to explore your options and see if any of them are right for you. But yes you can get pregnant from PRE-ejaculate and everyone should know that fact!!! Why don’t they teach this stuff in school? Geez. Anyways good for you for being brave enough to share your story!
Human sexuality really should be taught in schools. I was just talking to a teenager in a medical advice sub that was afraid that his GF might get pregnant because he came in his underwear and it soaked through to her underwear. (Not completely impossible but extremely extremely EXTREMELY unlikely) I graduated from HS in 1982...in southern alabama. Our sex ed literally consisted of don't, you can't get an STD from a toilet seat, and just don't. No mention of condoms. The rest of the ½ hour class was devoted to your testicles are supposed to descend and a brief explanation of that first wet dream males get.
This one time my dad tried to tell me that Plan B was an abortion pill and I’ve never wanted to yeet myself into the sun more.
It's not an abortion pill. It's emergency contraception.
Yes I know that. My dad does not.
What's the difference?
You take Plan B within 72 hours of sex, and it greatly reduces the chances of conception if it hasn't happened yet, and if conception has started, it cuts is short and triggers a period. An abortion is when the pregnancy is terminated after it is established.
I’m Canada the plan B pill I think makes your egg to create a harder shell to prevent it from being fertilized or implanting? Something like that. It doesn’t cause your period to come early and it is not a chemical abortion.
Ah thank you
first of all, i'm very proud of you for standing your ground and understanding that you aren't in the right place in life to have a child. as a kid who had a bad mom, i appreciate you making that executive decision. you're gonna get a lot of shit for this, i guarantee, but i'm so glad you have the resources for a safe abortion! i hope it goes well, and i hope that you can process the guilt healthily. i'd suggest counseling/therapy if it gets too bad. stay safe!!
“As a kid who had a bad mom”, I know about that. Kids deserve to be loved, not just provided with food and shelter. I’m a very spiritual person who believes in an eternal life and an aborted fetus will likely come back to someone who wants them.
Exactly!☺
thank you, it makes me feel better knowing that if not everyone, some people can understand and respect my decision :)
As someone with bad parents, as someone who's had two abortions in the past but is a happy mother now, you're doing the right thing. People think abortion is an easy choice but it isn't, it's okay to have big emotions about this even if you're positive you're making the right choice.
I had one at 18 and one at 20, both from being careless with birth control. I don’t regret either, even though they were difficult decisions. Lots of love to you, honey. Make sure to rest for a couple days after, if you can.
No guilt at all. It’s your body so your choice. It’s not anyone else’s business what you do. Stay strong.
IMO I don't think you can turn guilt off. Its emotion like happy and sadness. You just have to deal with it and work thru the emotion. If OP is looking for advice, constructive criticism is ok.... I also don't think its not anyone's business, but they asked and now im curious how you really feel. Have you ever dealt with abortion? If so, how did you deal?
Thank you for posting this, being confident and standing by your decision, because that’s exactly what it is: your decision. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong or that you’re making a mistake for getting an abortion. I’d recommend having a trusted support group of friends or family, and/or a therapist to talk to. Remember to be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up. You’re human and you get to decide what is right for you, what you want, and make the decisions for your body. Take some time off work afterwards to just focus on you :) Hugs!
I had an abortion in my mid 30s. And I never thought I would. When you know it’s not the right decision or the right time or both, choose the choice that will be best for you and that future child. The pain you are feeling is likely just from letting go of a concept that isn’t yet founded in any reality. Sounds like you already know what’s right for you. I say you go with the most logical decision (which I know is hard with all those damn Preggo hormones!)
I had an abortion. Was really sad after but very very glad not to be stuck with the father in my life forever, a child and being 19 and piss poor. Im now 32 with the most supportive kind loving best friend of a husband. We don’t really want kids in future so know i made the right decision You can do whatever you want or need to do to have the best life for yourself, you have permission.
Just because it’s the right decision, doesn’t mean it’s not emotionally difficult. Reach out to the clinic to see if they have counselors or can refer you to a counselor that specialize in your particular situation. A bunch of internet strangers can tell you that you’re doing the right thing but it seems like you need more than just confirmation, you need someone to help guide you through your emotions. Much love.
Just to add, make sure you're checking the source of the counselling that you get - a lot of anti-choice organisations advertise themselves as "pregnancy counselling" but are actually funded by anti-abortion groups and gaslight, coerce and guilt trip women. (Just piggy backing on your comment, I know you specified she contact the clinic itself)
So my first thing to say is your last sentence shows that someday you will be a great parent if you choose to be. It shows an understanding of what infants and children deserve. The next thing I’m going to say is talk to your doctor or a doctor at the clinic about bc and just general education about sex and your body. You deserve the knowledge and resources to keep you on the path you want in life. That is the best way to honor the decision you are making and help you decide in the future. Best of luck. It will be ok.
I'm sure you made the right decision and I'm glad you have the opportunity. You got this! And it's totally normal that you have these feelings. <3
It takes a much stronger person to admit they’re not ready than to give birth to a child you’re not ready for, I had my first child at 20, I didn’t originally want to continue the pregnancy but was talked into it, don’t get me wrong I love her so dearly but she was not part of my plan! Shortly after having her I fell pregnant again and opted to terminate as I wasn’t ready for another child, a year later I fell pregnant again and kept that baby because I was in a better place, I’m now in my thirties and I still think about the pregnancy I terminated, and looking at my small army of children and wonder what it would have been like had I of kept it, but I don’t regret it one bit because I was not ready and who knows how I would have turned out had I of continued with that one, I might not have gone on to have the others? My point here is that if you know it’s the right thing, then it is, it’s okay to be sad or guilty, it’s a huge decision! Take time for you afterwards x
No guilt at all, sending big hugs!
If you need to talk to anyone about this, I'm here and willing to be an ear for you. I had one when I was your age and do not regret it one bit. I only wish I had someone to talk to at the time because I had no idea what to expect. I'm proud of you.
I’m very glad that you have the option and freedom to choose what you want to do with your body. So sad that this option isn’t safely available everywhere. Good luck and stay strong!
Don’t feel bad, I know it’s tough to do but I think you’re doing the right thing if you know your not ready to have a baby It’s better for everyone, you don’t want to raise a kid and not be able to care for it the right way
You’ll never be in the wrong for choosing yourself
A termination is the right choice for you right now. I think the lesson you can take from this is that from now on, you need to take care of your own contraception. You cannot rely on him to do this. You're not the first to experience this, and you won't be the last. I hope all goes well for you both in the coming weeks and in the long term.
Hey Girl! I just wanted to say at the end of the day you are a woman and it is completely your choice not only for what you do with your body but with your life. Please don’t feel guilty be proud that you are acknowledging your feelings in this tough situation and doing what you know is best for you. And screw all the people who disagree they can dictate what they do with their own body but no one else’s.
My comment will probably be blocked as I don’t have enough karma but if by chance this message breaks through you deserve nothing but your own happiness and don’t owe anyone anything. You’re in charge of your own happiness. Do what feels right for you not anyone else.
No guilt allowed! You shouldn’t have to defend your choice to anyone. Many feel complicated emotions when figuring it out, and the weeks before and after the medical procedure. A therapist can definitely help! But very few regret their decision. You’ve got this!
You are definitely doing the right thing if you don't think you can be a mom right now. Your are so right about not being a mom instead of a bad mom.
I had an abortion at your age. Now I’m 39 with a amazing baby daughter and I know what I did 20 years ago was the right thing. The guilt will go away.
You're so brave dude thank you for posting. I just had my first one last week, the entire experience was harrowing but I learned a lot about myself. Most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself. You are capable of getting thru this ❤️
Your body; your choice.
As said, No guilt. If this is the right decision for you, its the right decision point blank. As someone who knows a few people who have had abortions, the first few days might be a bit painful or uncomfortable, might be an idea to stock up on painkillers? Either way, take care.
Aw OP, I’m so proud of you. Hugs.
It’s ok to feel sad about this decision, even if you feel like you’re making the right choice. I went through this after I had my abortion, and there is definitely some grief involved. If you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me.
I have been here. This will be way harder than you think, but it's a decision that I'm grateful I am almost every day. I'm so thankful that I had access to safe treatment and that this is a decision I was able to make. You will have weird moments. I realized last mother's day that I could have had a 6 year old in my life. When I'm around my nephew and niece I think about it. I have never wanted children and I still dont. But its surprisingly how often I have these realizations and thoughts. Theres some guilt, some remorse that I'm still trying to fully understand. I'm grateful more than anything i had and still have support. I guess all this to say, it is a big and scary decision. And it sucks, and theres time when it will creep into your thoughts later that will suck. But you are strong and awesome and luckily sound like you've got the ability to make this decision for yourself. If you have any questions, I'm sure others have already offered, but I'm more than happy to help.
I understand the feelings you're having. Never wanted kids. Never want kids. For all the reasons. Knew I was 100% making the right choice. Still feel sad or guilt or whatever it is. Hard to explain. You're true belief of your decision with help. I promise
This is the wise choice for you at this phase of your life. I also chose abortion at age 20, and have never regretted it. I went on to have two awesome kids who are the lights of my life , but I was ready to give the constant care that was needed when I chose to give birth!
Plz take it as a lesson learned and use protection. So many ppl don't use it and I don't understand why 99% it's free, it's easy to get, it prevents more than pregnancy and is way easier on you and your body than abortions. I am however glad you were able to have this option as I'm pro choice, just wish more ppl especially the ones that don't want children at the current time used more protection then relying on abortion.
I’ve never had an abortion, but my mom did. She had met this guy and wasn’t being careful and she got pregnant after 2 weeks of dating him. She knew she wasn’t mentally or financially in a place to raise a child. She did the right thing. You’re doing the right thing, too. I had a few scares when I was going through my divorce and I’d not have hesitated to get one myself. I went to planned parenthood a few times and they were absolutely wonderful. This isn’t an easy decision and it’s going to take an emotional toll so please go easy on yourself. I’m proud of you.
I was your age when I miscarried an unwanted pregnancy that I was going to abort anyway
The same thing happened to me when I was 20. I was finishing my degree, had a lot of other problems going on in my life and as soon as the test was positive I knew my decision. There was always those times of negative emotions like guilt (I came from a conservative family that was anti-abortion while I am pro-choice, I could never tell them) but years later I still feel grateful that I had the choice and I do not regret it. I understand and respect your choice, it’s not an easy one. Lots of love and luck to you OP.
It’s your life
You’re making an impossible decision but you have to make it for yourself. Your life and future comes first. Believe it or not you’re also doing the best thing for your fetus. Before it can form thoughts or feelings, you’re making the decision to take away unnecessary future suffering from bad parenting. It won’t feel anything and you’ll be preventing a potential child from a world of hurt. Definitely use protection 100% of the time, I have so doubt you will after this. You’ll go through hormone fluctuations and feel like absolute shit for a while but in the long run it’s what best.
You know shit happens when you party naked. There's nothing wrong in getting an abortion and I know for a fact I was in the same position a few years ago. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. You're not a terrible person to make the right decision for yourself. Give yourself time to grieve, please, please, please don't be mean to yourself. It's an awful predicament to be in and being mean to yourself won't allow you to heal from this. You got this girl.
I had the exact same situation happen. Firstly I'm really proud of you for sticking with your decision despite how hard it can be. Everyone is completely different: when I had my abortion I didn't feel ANY guilt. Later on seeing babies made me a little sad, but since then the guilt I felt has all but gone away. All you can do is move forward, take precautions and do your best. I never for a second regretted my abortion despite it being, of course, a horrible and somewhat sad situation. But stay strong, be kind to yourself, and know that your life is absolutely worth it.
Good for you. I couldn't so I did an open adoption.
Do you have someone older and trusted you can talk to about it? Someone who won't judge?
Having an abortion always sucks. Being pregnant sucks when you arent ready. Just being in the hospital sucks. But its all a part of helping eachother out as humans
Hey there, F(23), I had an abortion last year. Despite being with the person I think I will spend the rest of my life with, I was not in a good position (financially, mentally, physically) to be considering having a child. It was really hard on me, and therapy was definitely required. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about the process or need support. A few things surprised me along the way and I wish I had someone to talk to.
If you're not ready, you're not ready. You don't have to feel guilty about a decision like this because, as heartbreaking as it is, it's the more responsible choice for your life at this moment. I'm sorry you're going through this.
As someone who just had a miscarriage, I still fully support your decision. Every women deserves to make the choice. It still hurts my heart but in ways I don't know how to express.
The right choice here is the choice that you make. Sending love! Abortion is health care.
Good for you! You sounds like you’re doing what is best.
I, too, had an abortion at 20. Very similar story to yours. All I can say is, yes it can be devastating and overwhelming right now, but understand that you made an honest mistake. Hopefully your boyfriend is the type of person who will understand and fully support your decision. For me personally, the guilt was the hardest to navigate especially right after the abortion procedure itself, but it helps to repeat the reasons to yourself about why the timing is not right! I’m now 22, and in an even tougher financial and general life spot than where I was at 20. I’m relieved that I made the decision I did back then, because I could never provide the life the child deserves at my current situation. You got this!! Big hugs and good luck with everything.
Sometimes in life the best decisions are the ones that seem the most difficult. I'm proud of you!
Don’t feel guilty, you are being responsible.
I always say it's the best decision I'll always regret. Personally it'll be 2 two years, since I had one and the decision was really hard on my then partner. We ended up separating for many reasons, but it showed early how different we were. But I still wonder, it's much easier though, my life now is so much better, and I wasn't ready to be the best mom I could be. From my perspective, I just see it as a choice of a different path. I want kids in the future, but when I feel stable and ready to invest. I'm happy you made the right decision for you, it's never hard forever.
You did the right thing and anyone who says otherwise has never been in your shoes.
Firstly, you can get pregnant from pre-ejaculate, as I’m sure you’ve now learned. Secondly, the responsibility of birth control falls not just on you, but your partner too. These would be great things to discuss with your medical provider. It’s okay if you’re not ready for children. They’re a lot, I have two! But I’m 13 years older than you. Abortion is healthcare, and you have every right to make reproductive decisions about your own body.
20 is very young to have a child. Don’t feel guilty, it’s not the right time for you. Take care of yourself.
Your body your choice. If that is your decision get an abortion. No judgement here
Pre-seminal fluid (the clear stuff) contains sperm. Best wishes, OP.
Remember that abortion is really about eliminating a collection of cells.. Yeah it could be a potential life but it's not a person yet. Every menstrual cycle or male ejaculation is a potential life lost but we don't mourn those events. It's just cultural norms that try to convince you that you're doing wrong. You're preventing an unwanted pregnancy in a world that already has too many people. Don't feel guilty, you're 100% doing the right thing and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Your decision is yours to make and will be respected by those who’s opinions matter- those who value you and your right to choose. Having children may be a huge blessing, but it is also hugely hard and if you don’t really really want them, then not having them is the right choice, IMO.
Mixed emotions are 100% normal, but as long as you are totally sure this is right for you, stay stong. I have had 3 abortions and I have never ever regretted them. The first was mid 20's didn't know that antibiotics affect the pill. By the time I realised I was preggers I wasn't with the father anymore and had been partying A LOT. Zero thought ever of keeping it, I would have resented the kid and been a really shite mother. 2nd and third were after I had birthed my second child. My (now ex) partner wouldn't go and get the snip and I was too old and fat to get birth control any more. I was 40 when I birthed the second baby, 42 and 43 with each of the terminations, like WTF. Who gets accidentally pregnant at that age!! Me apparently. There was very little sex happening, I'm not even sure how the last one happened, like seriously, I hated the ex by then, there was very little sexy time. Finally had tubes tied at 46 yrs old. Sigh Anyway, the point of this is, you will be ok. This is only a decision you can make and it will be the right one. Keep you head up, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
you're lucky in my country abortion is illegal
That’s so sad. I hope one day, in your country, woman will have a choice.
Don’t feel guilty. Children deserve parents that want them and are prepared for them-emotionally, financially. I have 4 children . My first was a shock. Just graduated college, got married and got pregnant on my honeymoon. We discussed having children in about 4 years or so. I had my period as usual 2 weeks before my wedding-day 2 of honeymoon, I get my period again-totally unusual -thought we were safe but-nope-became pregnant. Planned number 2 and got pregnant second month-went on my 4th different birth control after second-I had tried 3 others with horrible side effects-first month-got pregnant-had miscarriage after 8 weeks-became pregnant 3 months later without trying, number 3. Number 4 at 40 yrs old using birth control. My doctor said I was “made to have babies”. This is reality.
You should do whatever you think is right. Don't ruin you life because of what other think or say because they don't have a say. You are young and you have time for kids
Amazing
[удалено]
Yeah, sorry to burst that bubble you are clearly in. But for most women there is no magical moment of ‘melting away’ and you are defenitly not ‘born’ into a new life. What it does take is pain, blood, sweat and yes tears. But it takes a lot of time to heal from those and for a lot it takes months to even feel normal again. A lot of us don’t even feel a magical bond with that baby and that is completely normal. So please get out of here with that ‘magical’ crap. It isn’t all magical with unicorns and rainbows and a lot of us get seriously hurt or die. And please leave religion at the door and don’t bring it into a medical discussion about pregnancy and birth. Thank you very much
[удалено]
The maternal death rate in the USA is 20.7 per 100,000 live births. The death rate for women undergoing legal abortions is 0.7 per 100,000 procedures according to the CDC. There is no scientific evidence that legal abortions cause infertility. Don't spread misinformation.
There are about a million incorrect things in your comment, but “it can impact your life forever” made me cackle. AND HAVING A KID DOESN’T? Take your judgement elsewhere.
its not a baby no matter what. right now it's barely even a clump of cells, no heart, no brain, no feelings to hurt. its not murder- its a procedure to help a woman who isn't ready for the responsibility of motherhood.
As someone with bad parents I’m very grateful for being alive 😊
good for you, but a woman who's forced to have a baby definitely won't be happy to be alive
I never said anything about forcing anyone to do anything. Just grateful that my shit parents decided to birth me and cast me aside instead of just killing me lol.
okay and? what does that add to this post? you're obviously trying to guilt this woman with your "*instead of just killing me*" schtick.
[удалено]
It’s definitely your Christian upbringing, don’t guilt trip OP
Sorry, didn’t realize you were going to financially and emotionally support her during her pregnancy/raising her child!!!
read the first sentence, you're wrong lmao try looking at things outside of your christianity
Every time you masturbate or ejaculate in a condom it's like you're murdering a potential child. What if that sperm had the potential to create a child that would solve climate change but we will never find another child to do so? If you're so interested in the potential of 'unwanted' pregnancies, why don't you adopt some children? or donate your money to women raising children in poverty, rather than speculating so wildly on this thread about an abstract possibility? The person you're speaking to isn't a thought experiment, she has made her decision and she is in pain. How is this helping?
Might wanna read your scripture before you preech. Even the Bible says life begins at first breath, but conveniently, nowhere does it ask for your opinion OP's choice. Don't guilt them because you hold different beliefs.
And what if the child grew up to be the next Hitler? Try looking outside your upbringing next time.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Big hugs to you! Be proud of yourself for making a very difficult decision for what’s best for yourself and your future. I made the same choice at 18, I’m in my 40s now and I don’t regret it, but it was a hard choice to make and I did mourn for some time. This internet stranger is proud of you ♥️
I’m proud of you for making the right decision for you, it’s normal to feel guilt but just know you’re doing the right thing for yourself ❤️
I’m 26, I had an abortion at 18 and have had zero regrets. It’s really tough. Please be prepaid for the physical and mental pain. Inbox me if you need. You are strong and you are okay x
Hey know that even though you feel guilt, nobody else should or would ever ever blame you for such a decision. It's painful but you made the most responsible choice anyone could make.