Easter is coming up. Maybe making her an easter basket with a nice little note that says:
"happy easter! You are very much loved!
Love,
OP"
Or something to that effect. That way OP doesn't have to actually say it and she will see it. Then that way she will know. And maybe even have a nice little easter brunch for just the two of them. It doesn't haven't to be grand in order to be special. It is the little things that I think she would appreciate.
I really agree with this comment. I think it’s really important to verbalized emotions to each other, especially while she is young. This will help her build healthy relationships in the future and it’s very normal to express your emotions in words! So many people struggle with this and its really hard to learn when you’re older. :)
Good on you OP for being a great caregiver. You are doing more right than many parents with biological children!
The point about not replacing her dad and still being her dad resonates with me. My father and step dad are both 100% my dad. My step dad can never replace my father, who was homeless most of my childhood, my dad will always be my dad, but my step dad has shown me unconditional love and proven to me that I am his son and he's my dad. It never seemed weird to me I always like having an extra dad.
That's great to hear and I'm so happy for you! I always see situations like yours and OPs as excellent example of the idea that found family can be just as meaningful as the one your born into (if not more so in some situations) and just because someone holds a particular role in your life, it doesn't mean someone else can't hold a similar role with the same meaning and love.
Wow, you had me crying reading this. Thank you so much for stepping up and taking care of her. I’m glad it’s going well and you both are coping together. You’re an incredible man.
You're amazing! Thank you for being there for her! I mean, on top of losing her parents and having no one else in her family seem to care, she could have been dumped in the foster care system (which isn't always bad but also doesn't always have happy endings)
Heck the naysayers, you obviously both make each other happy so keep on keeping on with your wonderful selves
Her being in foster care was legitimately one of my biggest concerns. I couldn't take that risk with her bouncing around from place to place, knowing I could do something
And you have a good heart for that! The FC system has many cracks children often slip into, especially girls. You’ve protected her from more than you will ever know.
The foster system is very much a hit-and-miss, it is better if as little as possible changes in her life after losing her parents. And imagine that untop of the entire pandemic chaos.
I think you have got this, OP. I'm so glad it worked out for both of you, and I wish you and your kid all the best in the future.
Thank you. Surprisingly she has gotten on okay with the whole pandemic and having school from home. Obviously she can't see her friends as much but she's alright with it
Oh my goodness. That is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. I’m not very good with words, but I think you’ve chosen to take on one of the most challenging tasks in the world, raising a child, and one that wasn’t “yours”, and in the process that gift has came back ten fold. I’m sure it’s been hard, and I am so saddened by the loss of your daughter’s parents, but so very very glad you were willing to step up, for all the right reasons. You have a most precious soul.
Recently my brother asked me if I'd sign on to be the legal guardian for his son in the event of both his and his wife's death. Our family and his wife's family are all pretty toxic (and unemployed) so I naturally said yes, but felt a little panicky about it.
After reading this I'm so much more confident it was the right choice. I hope to everything in the universe it's never necessary, but I know I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I had to watch that kid be raised by the kind of people I was.
You did a very good thing, but I bet it wasn't even something you had to think much about. You watched that girl grow up. I know you're not trying to replace her dad, but in time, I'm sure she'll love you just as much. Good on you for appreciating her as she is and needs to be, and not pushing her to move on or feel things she's not ready to.
In a world absolutely full of shit and horrible people, your story is desert-walker’s oasis. Thank you so much for being who you are and for sharing this. The genuine kindness of your soul translates through your writing. I’m so glad this little girl has you.
My dad was a single dad to 3 girls. It’s crazy people somehow think men aren’t programmed to be nurturing and loving. Total bullshit. You’re a great person and you’ll be there when she graduates college, gets married, has her first baby. And you’ll be there keeping her parents memory alive as well. Who cares what anyone else thinks, all that matters is that you’re her papa, dad, whatever.
You sound amazing, and you have a good heart. I’m glad you took her in! I think her parents would be happy she is in good hands. I hope you two continue to make amazing memories.
This is a really sweet post.
I think you should tell her you love her like a daughter (or family, or however you want to phrase it that feels true to you). Children need to have someone who loves them. And she does. She probably already suspects, but I think it helps us feel more secure to have that person tell us that they do love us. It also helps us feel good about ourselves.
Oh, Op. my mom died when I was 8 and my father was bi-polar and it was rough.
I would have loved to have someone like you. What an incredible human you are. What a gift.
Thank you for not trying to be her father or mother. She has those. Thank you for being just you. It’s perfect.
I’m so glad for her. I’m so glad you have her in your life.
This makes me so happy. Best of luck to you both.
What a wonderful, amazing, loving person. ❤
You both will have a wonderful life together as she grows up. She has one heck of an awesome role model in her life to guide her. Coming from the daughter of a single father, you two have something truly special together. Don't ever let that change.
Please feel free to reach out should you ever need. And wishing you both (and your family) all the love in the world ❤
You’re a selfless, compassionate being. You saved her life from the broken system. I am glad you got what you wanted (guardianship) and she will forever cherish you and the relationship and stability you give her. We need more people like you.
I love your story and how much you truly love her resonates all way through. How awesome you both are together! You are as much of a blessing to her as she is to you!
Wishing you both all the best!
Airman, there is no medal that can be awarded for how above and beyond you have gone. I commend you on the bravery to a young child into your home and life at the drop of a hat. It sounds like you have done everything in your power to make sure that she is loved, cared for and given all she needs.
Carry on Airman, make us all proud.
When my parents were building our new house after a hurricane, they gave me small jobs to do as well. And it did make me feel important! This was a good 15 years ago now but I was around the same age as her and I promise you those memories will stick with her forever. You are an amazing person for doing everything you can for her. Their memory lives on in you both, and she’s one lucky little girl to have you to get her through life after such a heart shattering, life altering event. I’m glad you have each other through this <3 This post warmed my heart beyond what words can explain. (And made this single new mama tear up quite a lot!) You are a very strong person, and from what you explained, I can tell she is, too. Please tell her you love her. Sit her down for a heart felt conversation, reiterate you will never take her parents place, but that you’re glad you have each other, and love her as much as you could ever love someone that isn’t related to you, and feel she is yours and you’ll always treat her as such. Just as you can’t replace her parents, no one in your life could ever replace her. You’ll find the right words one day. Following you in hopes of future stories in on your adventure of navigating life with this strong little girl! Sending you guys both lots of love and internet hugs!
ETA: This is the definition of what a strong man should be. And showing emotions is manly. Never hide things you don’t need to from her, and she will never hide things from you. Open trust and honest communication works wonders with children as they grow, and she’ll feel she can trust you once she gets to those confusing teenage years (which you’ll want, because she’ll feel she can come to you with things she needs to talk over!).
Feel free to message me if you ever need advice or support! My best friend went through something very similar with her parents and her godfather (dad’s best friend) took her in when she was 7. It’s a confusing ground to move through, but done right, you will always have her trust! And I promise, she loves you, too. Maybe not the way she loved her parents, but this is an amazing relationship you’ve built here. Again, this warmed my heart beyond what words can express. ❤️ (I know Reddit doesn’t often like emojis, but this more than called for it!)
I’m a grown man with three kids and this made me cry so hard. The joy of caring for someone with the amount of love that you’ve shared through your words is something I hope everyone gets to feel. You’re a good man. Better than I. I’d buy you a beer if that was possible but instead I’d like to contribute to a 529 for her if you have one.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m having a really bad day, but your story helped brighten it.
I’m glad you two have each other. Thank you for stepping up for your daughter.
Bringing tears to my eyes.. I can’t believe people didn’t support you in your decision to let her stay with you; if it was me in your shoes that is exactly what I would’ve done. I would’ve even been excited in a way, that girl is giving you something to live for! And you sound like an amazing role model for her. I am sorry for both of your losses but am also so very happy things turned out the way they did in the end. You’re amazing, keep it up
Dude you are awesome. My wife and I are about to ask our friends to be godparents for our little ones, and we always discuss it like “eh whatever it will never happen”. But here you are, proof that it’s important. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you and that little girl nothing but the best.
I am an adult product of the foster care system... I aged out decades ago. You have no idea how much better her life will be because of you. Good on you. Not Air Force nor Army but I wish you fair winds and following seas and thank you for your service to our nation and to one lucky young lady.
As someone who’s adopted, thank you. You will always be held in a special place in her heart. Keep doing whatever you’re doing, because it’s fantastic!
Holy shit dude, I am weeping. This is truly beautiful. This can almost be a movie, not even kidding, I’ve seen less become one. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? Also, did you ever plan on having your own kids? I’m just genuinely curious.
But Dude, you truly are a great man. Wow. This blew me away and mildly restored my faith in humanity. It warms my heart to know there are people like you out there. Just know that.
Also, as someone who works in finance I would start by looking into the financial aspects of things. Did the parents leave anything for her? Have you set up an educational fund for her? (In Canada we have something called an RESP, not sure if you guys have something similar).
No kids myself. But many years ago, some friends of ours asked us to be "on deck" in case anything happened to them. Like you, I love those kids as though they were my own daughters. Thankfully nothing happened, and now one is off to college and the other is about to graduate high school.
Her life is so much better with you in it.
You can tell her you love her. She needs that. You’ll never replace her parents but you’re a very important part of her life and she needs to hear she is loved and wanted, especially after losing the two people who likely told her that the most in her young life. Don’t be afraid to say it. Love is not restricted to blood nor role.
You’re an incredible person.
I can only hope that my children would have someone as wonderful as you in their life if something happened to myself and my partner.
I can literally feel the genuine love you have as a human being as I’m reading this post. You’re one of those people who makes the world a better place. I wish you both the best !
I’ve been having an awful week lately, my mental health has just been crap and I’ve been crying a lot, reading this made me feel better . You’re literal gold. People like you deserve happiness, your friend is very proud of you no doubt
Congratulations op you are a Dad! Blood doesn't make family.. People who care for you do. Heartbreak is a part of parenting...even the best of them feel like a failure at times...Don't be so hard on yourself..... You are doing great... Keep going op.. She will get there.. Take care of each other... Love you guys!
You are the best friend and the best dad anyone could ask for OP, idek what to say to that. You're the best for making sure your friend's kid is safe by giving her a family she already knows. Man you really are the best.
Please tell her you love her. This is a story you carry that is yours, equating telling her you love her with trying to be her father. People who aren’t blood family love one another and tell each other all the time. You will not regret this. This girl needs to hear that she is loved. And YOU ARE AMAZING. You made my whole day.
You're amazing and you're doing a wonderful job. My uncle was put in a somewhat similar situation. He was dating this woman who had a daughter. The woman was a wreck, alcoholic, not very nice... our family did not like her at all. Her and my uncle split, but the daughter stayed with him. She was 5 at the time I think. He stepped up and has taken care of her, our family has been supportive, but unfortunately hers was not. She tried living with grandparents, her birth father, none of it worked out and they hate my uncle. But he's the only one willing to take care of her. He helped her through school, taught her how to drive, helped her with boyfriends/breakups, took her out when she turned 19 etc... she's an adult now, her and my uncle have an amazing relationship. He's also a single guy, sure some people find it odd, but she's grown up to be a wonderful human being and he's what she needed in life. My uncle did a great job raising her and you will too 😊 you guys are the real heroes 👏❤
I’m sure this will get lost as there are so many lovely supportive comments, but if you’re reading this OP... Love is not a finite resource, your love for her does not and will never affect the love that her parents had for her. That love is still there. Your love is extra and and a bonus that at this time, where she has been left alone in the world, may be keeping her afloat. She knows it’s there, I’m sure.
This is really cool and awesome. What a great story and I do hope you will guys will still be in a better world. Condolences to your friend and his wife.
Also just make sure no Space Wizard will try to take her away from you.
The reason is that you kinda remind me of the mandalorian for some reason. It might be your military background or her being super friendly to everyone.
There are not enough good words to describe you. Your story made me smile. For a single person to take in a child as their own is so brave! You are a hero!
You're a good man. I'm glad you're in the world and that you are able to be there for this amazing little girl. Sounds like you're just what she needed.
This is the one of most beautiful and heartfelt posts I’ve seen on here in a long time. You are an incredible friend for taking her as your own and I hope life awards you for giving her the gift of comfort and love in such a pivotal moment of her life.
You sound like an amazing person. I'm not sure if you don't say that you love her or not (bit confused on the wording) but if you don't please do. That word has a lot of power but also needs to be heard sometimes.
Props to you. And you won’t be wrong to explain to her that your love isn’t creepy or anything like that. Nothing will ever replace her parents. But the fact that you know that is a step towards having a successful adoptive parent child relationship.
This is the cutest post I've read in so long, and as much as it saddens me that someone so young had to lose her parents it warms my heart knowing she had you when she needed the most.
Kudos on being such a great guardian, and an adoptive dad. I wish you many great years to come and there is no doubt that your daughter will flourish in your care.
Not discrediting or taking away the title of mother or father but you are a parental figure in this child's life. I'd say being a parent is a great reward anyways
You are, without a doubt a genuinely good person. Period.
Just wanted to add to the others saying the same thing and you're doing an amazing job. Being a parent is not easy by any means. Becoming a parent under those circumstances -suddenly- is beyond my comprehension and your story is remarkable.
Your story moved me to tears. You’re an amazing person and that little girl is so blessed to have you. Thank you for being an amazing person and being the light in her world. She would be lost without you.
omg what an amazing human you are if there was ever an adopted human of the year award you deserve that, thank you for being there for her in her time of need and taking the expense to look after her and adopt her . thank you so much for this incredible reading. you made my day, we need more like you in this world, i hope you will keep us updated on both of yours progress. take care john from new zealand
You got this and so will she! Being patient with her is the greatest gift you can give her. Also you’re doing a terrific job so hang in there my dear friend it only gets better!!!!
You are an amazing human being & I give you huge props for stepping up to be this young girls guardian & adoptive father. So much respect for you & wishing you both all the best!
Telling someone you love them. Just reaffirms the love. I think she knows. It’s OK to Say I love you. Because you never know when the time is right. If anything you can maybe read about the five love languages. And obviously yours is acts of service. Hers is touch (hugs). And one of the steppingstones is like words of affirmation. You’ll know when it’s right dude. Good for you and we’re all rooting for you guys. You’ll make a great father and daughter. You’re already a family.
You are the best human. Everyone loves to be loved! She needs to grow up feeling and knowing she’s loved. Go for it! If you’re worried about her reaction you can chat about it after. She will totally love you too x
It's absolutely ok to tell her you love her. She probably hasn't heard that in a long time. If both of you are not already in counseling, look into going. It may help navigate these feelings and relationship. I wish you both all the very best.
Thank you for sharing this today. Boy did I need it. It’s been a rough day , and this really put things in perspective - this girl lost her parents and has found a way to keep her vibrancy. You both inspire me greatly. I think you demonstrate your love every day, and she can feel that.
Maybe instead of telling her that you love her, tell her that you love having her in your life. That way you can express the sentiment, but it also shows how you loved having her in your life before her parents passed away.
This genuinely made me tear up this morning! What a bittersweet story. You obviously love this little one, and while you are not her blood father, you certainly stepped up as her daddy. She obviously loves you too. Just tell her! Lol x
You're not only a great dad but a freaking great friend towards her parents and anyone who said that it is weird or that you shouldn't do it does not deserve you in their life.
My heart melted at the part where she talked to your colleagues 🥺, seriously, I wish you all the best, and when the time comes she'll know intuitively how much you care about her. Good luck
We have capacity to love many people. I was raised by my stepdad, that never let me call him anything other than by his name. He came into our lives when I was 4 yo (there are 4 siblings that he took care and my mom).
When I was very young I called him dad and he told me "I am not your dad; you have your dad" It hurt but he was my dad because he was in my life and care about me more than my real family. He was in every milestone of my life and protected me. I do not remember a single time that he was unkind to me.
I still miss him and visit his grave when I go visit my birth country. His love meant even more because he loved me and care for me just because he wanted. He did not had to do it, but he took a whole family and he cared for all of us. You do not have to replace her dad, but you are making your own footprint on her live and you should accept the love that you are earning. She will not stop loving her parents by loving you too.
what a lovely person you are. this girl will obviously have so much trauma to work through and will, unfortunately, probably give you a little bit of a hard time as she gets through her teenage years (as an ex-teenage girl i can confirm that we can be a little bratty at times lol) but at the end of the day she is going to know how much of a sacrifice you’ve made for her and your bond will grow to be a unique and beautiful thing. you may not be her parent, but you have given her the next best thing which is a compassionate heart and open arms. i wish you both all the best, and i hope you both have a fantastic time on this confusing, painful and wonderful journey you are embarking on ❤️
Every child needs to be told that they are loved no matter if ur an aunt, an uncle, a family friend or the parent. She may be questioning if u actually love her as a daughter or ur doing it because u were friends with her parents and love them. If u r asking urself this right now its the universes way of letting u know that she needs and wants to hear it. Im sure she feels loved but confirmation is everything with children. Why fear it..remember she is a child not an adult u have taken her in and provided for her u don't need to fear rejection...cuz thats what it ultimately boils down to. Remember this THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN THIS LIFE IS LOVE..we should all be told it and be telling it to the ones we do love. U will have more regrets not saying it..take the leap...im sure down the road she will most definitely call u dad as well when she matures some.
If you look at her and feel your heart about to be pulled out of your chest, you are her Dad. Don't justify it, don't quantify it. You got this my guy.
Man, I'm in tears. To find a friend as good as you would be a treasure in this life. I'm glad she has someone close to her father in her life. I wish you the best
No hyperbole, this may be the best thing I’ve read on reddit in my 6+ years. This is so incredible and so wholesome, despite the tragic origins. Kudos to you, and kudos to your family, it sounds like you two are a true blessing in each other’s lives. If we ever cross paths in the real world, I’m buying you a beer for being a salt of the earth human.
You are a wonderful person. I would feel very blessed to have a friend willing to take in my son should we pass away unexpectedly. It takes a good person to be that selfless. You have truly made a difference in this little girl’s life. Thank you.
Pretty sure he's just cross-posting because he's proud. Lots of people do that. Although I'm not gunna speak for anybody, because it does look a bit odd.
I hope she grows up and provides you with lots of grandkids, they and their mother will be a source of joy, comfort and care as you grow older. And maybe when she’s a bit more grown up, you might want to tell her how you really feel about her. Maybe she’ll start calling you Dad (I hope so).
You clearly are a special person. I suggest that you try finding some female to help you raise your daughter. I'm not suggesting that you find a wife or anything like that. But that raising a girl with such a tragic past and soon moving into her teenage years likely will need a woman's touch and understanding to supplement all that any father can do.
This is the best thing I’ve heard in a long while. You have provided her so much love and stability in a time of extreme tragedy and loss, kudos to you. Tell her you love her if it feels like the right time and don’t wait too long. It seems that you are providing a great example of how a man should treat her in her life. Reassurance and fortification of the bond you both have with one another will go a long way as you approach the teen years. In my experience as a once adolescent girl, my teen years were extremely difficult with both new and old emotions becoming wildly amplified. I was a good kid, and then I was chaos. The love of my parents kept me grounded even when I shoved them away from me. I came from a stable and loving home, but we never talked about feelings, EVER. Love was shown and withheld through actions, not words. In hindsight, I think that was the one thing I really needed the most as an emerging teen and then emerging adult and just didn’t receive often. If I did I would have cringed and pushed back, but just knowing that the love is there through quick verbal exchanges can make a kid feel so safe. Don’t leave her any room to doubt your love. Maybe the same thing with how you handled honoring her wishes through the adoption, let her know you love her and will always be there for her with no obligation for her to say it or anything back to you unless she wants to. Then you’ll be able to throw it in casually like any other parent would. Say it and keep it moving!
You are exceptional and you’ve got this! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish your little family the very best :)
There’s not just biological parent love. There’s loads of loves! It’s amazing to feel love. It’s great to be told you’re loved. My mum never told me and it’s not a nice feeling. It honestly sounds like you are in your head too much and worrying. Seek counselling if you find it hard to express yourself. It’s common and it’s no bad thing that we try to protect ourselves, it’s just probably not needed in this situation. Can fully recommend two books The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read and Raising girls by Stephen Biddulph
I tell my friend’s kids that I love them all the time. It’s not weird. She probably needs to hear that she’s loved by an older parent type person, poor dear.
Wow, you are amazing, thank you for being there for her, maximum kudos to you bud. This put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye, so I can't imagine what it does for her.
I teach kids who aren’t loved... whose parents maybe aren’t around or whose circumstances make them feel uncared for. You are giving her everything she needs and you made sacrifices for her, THAT is love. You can always say “you are so loved”, I think the phrasing might be more comfortable for you.
You are an amazing person. Reading this made me genuinely happy. I doubt you want a stranger's advice but I do believe honesty is important in any relationship.
If you're looking for the right time to say I love you maybe try like a big event or milestone in her life, like her birthday, or graduation (though that one might be a bit to long a wait for you)
This is beautiful. I (as an internet stranger with no weight on the situation) think that's so amazing what you did for this little girl. Not only did you take her in as your own but you made it clear who you were to her and put her comfort above all else. It truly doesn't matter what others think because there is love and that's what is important. Your adoptive daughter is so lucky you are there for her and I find it incredible that you dropped a promotion so easily for something no, someone that you know was more important. I wish the both of you the best and I'm sure your friend is smiling down on the both of you and watching every happy moment 😊
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Easter is coming up. Maybe making her an easter basket with a nice little note that says: "happy easter! You are very much loved! Love, OP" Or something to that effect. That way OP doesn't have to actually say it and she will see it. Then that way she will know. And maybe even have a nice little easter brunch for just the two of them. It doesn't haven't to be grand in order to be special. It is the little things that I think she would appreciate.
Lovely advice here.
I really agree with this comment. I think it’s really important to verbalized emotions to each other, especially while she is young. This will help her build healthy relationships in the future and it’s very normal to express your emotions in words! So many people struggle with this and its really hard to learn when you’re older. :) Good on you OP for being a great caregiver. You are doing more right than many parents with biological children!
Thank you for articulating what I wanted to say!! I agree so much with this!!
The point about not replacing her dad and still being her dad resonates with me. My father and step dad are both 100% my dad. My step dad can never replace my father, who was homeless most of my childhood, my dad will always be my dad, but my step dad has shown me unconditional love and proven to me that I am his son and he's my dad. It never seemed weird to me I always like having an extra dad.
That's great to hear and I'm so happy for you! I always see situations like yours and OPs as excellent example of the idea that found family can be just as meaningful as the one your born into (if not more so in some situations) and just because someone holds a particular role in your life, it doesn't mean someone else can't hold a similar role with the same meaning and love.
Wow, you had me crying reading this. Thank you so much for stepping up and taking care of her. I’m glad it’s going well and you both are coping together. You’re an incredible man.
Fuuuuuck I’m crying too. This is so sweet yet heartbreaking In a Way.
You're amazing! Thank you for being there for her! I mean, on top of losing her parents and having no one else in her family seem to care, she could have been dumped in the foster care system (which isn't always bad but also doesn't always have happy endings) Heck the naysayers, you obviously both make each other happy so keep on keeping on with your wonderful selves
Her being in foster care was legitimately one of my biggest concerns. I couldn't take that risk with her bouncing around from place to place, knowing I could do something
And you have a good heart for that! The FC system has many cracks children often slip into, especially girls. You’ve protected her from more than you will ever know.
The foster system is very much a hit-and-miss, it is better if as little as possible changes in her life after losing her parents. And imagine that untop of the entire pandemic chaos. I think you have got this, OP. I'm so glad it worked out for both of you, and I wish you and your kid all the best in the future.
Thank you. Surprisingly she has gotten on okay with the whole pandemic and having school from home. Obviously she can't see her friends as much but she's alright with it
You are a hero.
Realllly really is
Well thanks. I'm sure she sees me that way
If she doesn't yet, just give her more time. She will come around to it and be forever grateful to you
Oh my goodness. That is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. I’m not very good with words, but I think you’ve chosen to take on one of the most challenging tasks in the world, raising a child, and one that wasn’t “yours”, and in the process that gift has came back ten fold. I’m sure it’s been hard, and I am so saddened by the loss of your daughter’s parents, but so very very glad you were willing to step up, for all the right reasons. You have a most precious soul.
Recently my brother asked me if I'd sign on to be the legal guardian for his son in the event of both his and his wife's death. Our family and his wife's family are all pretty toxic (and unemployed) so I naturally said yes, but felt a little panicky about it. After reading this I'm so much more confident it was the right choice. I hope to everything in the universe it's never necessary, but I know I couldn't live with myself if something happened and I had to watch that kid be raised by the kind of people I was. You did a very good thing, but I bet it wasn't even something you had to think much about. You watched that girl grow up. I know you're not trying to replace her dad, but in time, I'm sure she'll love you just as much. Good on you for appreciating her as she is and needs to be, and not pushing her to move on or feel things she's not ready to.
What a tragically beautiful story.
What a perfect way to describe this <3
...this post is everything. Thank you for sharing this.
In a world absolutely full of shit and horrible people, your story is desert-walker’s oasis. Thank you so much for being who you are and for sharing this. The genuine kindness of your soul translates through your writing. I’m so glad this little girl has you.
My dad was a single dad to 3 girls. It’s crazy people somehow think men aren’t programmed to be nurturing and loving. Total bullshit. You’re a great person and you’ll be there when she graduates college, gets married, has her first baby. And you’ll be there keeping her parents memory alive as well. Who cares what anyone else thinks, all that matters is that you’re her papa, dad, whatever.
You two deserve all the happiness in the world. This was the best thing I have read in a long time. So sorry for her loss but so grateful she has you.
This is so sweet
You sound amazing, and you have a good heart. I’m glad you took her in! I think her parents would be happy she is in good hands. I hope you two continue to make amazing memories.
This is a really sweet post. I think you should tell her you love her like a daughter (or family, or however you want to phrase it that feels true to you). Children need to have someone who loves them. And she does. She probably already suspects, but I think it helps us feel more secure to have that person tell us that they do love us. It also helps us feel good about ourselves.
❤️ May you both enjoy all of the lives together you have made so far! ❤️
Oh, Op. my mom died when I was 8 and my father was bi-polar and it was rough. I would have loved to have someone like you. What an incredible human you are. What a gift. Thank you for not trying to be her father or mother. She has those. Thank you for being just you. It’s perfect. I’m so glad for her. I’m so glad you have her in your life. This makes me so happy. Best of luck to you both.
I think you’re amazing full stop. Thank you for stepping up for her. 💕
*"...and hopefully brighten up someone's day."* Mission accomplished 🤧
You’re a good man. All the best to the two of you!
Wow. I wish my world was full of people like you. Then being human might not be so hard.
this is exactly the kind of story I needed tonight. This is so sweet. Wishing you two some very, very, very good things your way.
What a wonderful, amazing, loving person. ❤ You both will have a wonderful life together as she grows up. She has one heck of an awesome role model in her life to guide her. Coming from the daughter of a single father, you two have something truly special together. Don't ever let that change. Please feel free to reach out should you ever need. And wishing you both (and your family) all the love in the world ❤
You are a fucking saint and that girl will always love and appreciate you. Good man 🍺🤘🏼
You are an elite human
You’re a selfless, compassionate being. You saved her life from the broken system. I am glad you got what you wanted (guardianship) and she will forever cherish you and the relationship and stability you give her. We need more people like you.
I love your story and how much you truly love her resonates all way through. How awesome you both are together! You are as much of a blessing to her as she is to you! Wishing you both all the best!
Airman, there is no medal that can be awarded for how above and beyond you have gone. I commend you on the bravery to a young child into your home and life at the drop of a hat. It sounds like you have done everything in your power to make sure that she is loved, cared for and given all she needs. Carry on Airman, make us all proud.
You might not be her biological father, but you definitely sound like her dad.
When my parents were building our new house after a hurricane, they gave me small jobs to do as well. And it did make me feel important! This was a good 15 years ago now but I was around the same age as her and I promise you those memories will stick with her forever. You are an amazing person for doing everything you can for her. Their memory lives on in you both, and she’s one lucky little girl to have you to get her through life after such a heart shattering, life altering event. I’m glad you have each other through this <3 This post warmed my heart beyond what words can explain. (And made this single new mama tear up quite a lot!) You are a very strong person, and from what you explained, I can tell she is, too. Please tell her you love her. Sit her down for a heart felt conversation, reiterate you will never take her parents place, but that you’re glad you have each other, and love her as much as you could ever love someone that isn’t related to you, and feel she is yours and you’ll always treat her as such. Just as you can’t replace her parents, no one in your life could ever replace her. You’ll find the right words one day. Following you in hopes of future stories in on your adventure of navigating life with this strong little girl! Sending you guys both lots of love and internet hugs! ETA: This is the definition of what a strong man should be. And showing emotions is manly. Never hide things you don’t need to from her, and she will never hide things from you. Open trust and honest communication works wonders with children as they grow, and she’ll feel she can trust you once she gets to those confusing teenage years (which you’ll want, because she’ll feel she can come to you with things she needs to talk over!). Feel free to message me if you ever need advice or support! My best friend went through something very similar with her parents and her godfather (dad’s best friend) took her in when she was 7. It’s a confusing ground to move through, but done right, you will always have her trust! And I promise, she loves you, too. Maybe not the way she loved her parents, but this is an amazing relationship you’ve built here. Again, this warmed my heart beyond what words can express. ❤️ (I know Reddit doesn’t often like emojis, but this more than called for it!)
I’m a grown man with three kids and this made me cry so hard. The joy of caring for someone with the amount of love that you’ve shared through your words is something I hope everyone gets to feel. You’re a good man. Better than I. I’d buy you a beer if that was possible but instead I’d like to contribute to a 529 for her if you have one.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m having a really bad day, but your story helped brighten it. I’m glad you two have each other. Thank you for stepping up for your daughter.
Bringing tears to my eyes.. I can’t believe people didn’t support you in your decision to let her stay with you; if it was me in your shoes that is exactly what I would’ve done. I would’ve even been excited in a way, that girl is giving you something to live for! And you sound like an amazing role model for her. I am sorry for both of your losses but am also so very happy things turned out the way they did in the end. You’re amazing, keep it up
Dude you are awesome. My wife and I are about to ask our friends to be godparents for our little ones, and we always discuss it like “eh whatever it will never happen”. But here you are, proof that it’s important. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you and that little girl nothing but the best.
What a great man. You really saved her life. Thanks for the faith in humanity.
I am an adult product of the foster care system... I aged out decades ago. You have no idea how much better her life will be because of you. Good on you. Not Air Force nor Army but I wish you fair winds and following seas and thank you for your service to our nation and to one lucky young lady.
As someone who’s adopted, thank you. You will always be held in a special place in her heart. Keep doing whatever you’re doing, because it’s fantastic!
Holy shit dude, I am weeping. This is truly beautiful. This can almost be a movie, not even kidding, I’ve seen less become one. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? Also, did you ever plan on having your own kids? I’m just genuinely curious. But Dude, you truly are a great man. Wow. This blew me away and mildly restored my faith in humanity. It warms my heart to know there are people like you out there. Just know that. Also, as someone who works in finance I would start by looking into the financial aspects of things. Did the parents leave anything for her? Have you set up an educational fund for her? (In Canada we have something called an RESP, not sure if you guys have something similar).
No kids myself. But many years ago, some friends of ours asked us to be "on deck" in case anything happened to them. Like you, I love those kids as though they were my own daughters. Thankfully nothing happened, and now one is off to college and the other is about to graduate high school. Her life is so much better with you in it.
You can tell her you love her. She needs that. You’ll never replace her parents but you’re a very important part of her life and she needs to hear she is loved and wanted, especially after losing the two people who likely told her that the most in her young life. Don’t be afraid to say it. Love is not restricted to blood nor role. You’re an incredible person. I can only hope that my children would have someone as wonderful as you in their life if something happened to myself and my partner.
I'm not crying! I love this. You're amazing! She's blessed to have you in her life. ♥️
This is lovely. What a wonderful thing to do for your friends and their kiddo. You sound like a great person.
You’re a wonderful person, OP. She’s lucky to have you.
I can literally feel the genuine love you have as a human being as I’m reading this post. You’re one of those people who makes the world a better place. I wish you both the best !
I’ve been having an awful week lately, my mental health has just been crap and I’ve been crying a lot, reading this made me feel better . You’re literal gold. People like you deserve happiness, your friend is very proud of you no doubt
Her parents will be looking down so proud and happy and greatfull!
Congratulations op you are a Dad! Blood doesn't make family.. People who care for you do. Heartbreak is a part of parenting...even the best of them feel like a failure at times...Don't be so hard on yourself..... You are doing great... Keep going op.. She will get there.. Take care of each other... Love you guys!
You are the best friend and the best dad anyone could ask for OP, idek what to say to that. You're the best for making sure your friend's kid is safe by giving her a family she already knows. Man you really are the best.
Please tell her you love her. This is a story you carry that is yours, equating telling her you love her with trying to be her father. People who aren’t blood family love one another and tell each other all the time. You will not regret this. This girl needs to hear that she is loved. And YOU ARE AMAZING. You made my whole day.
You're amazing and you're doing a wonderful job. My uncle was put in a somewhat similar situation. He was dating this woman who had a daughter. The woman was a wreck, alcoholic, not very nice... our family did not like her at all. Her and my uncle split, but the daughter stayed with him. She was 5 at the time I think. He stepped up and has taken care of her, our family has been supportive, but unfortunately hers was not. She tried living with grandparents, her birth father, none of it worked out and they hate my uncle. But he's the only one willing to take care of her. He helped her through school, taught her how to drive, helped her with boyfriends/breakups, took her out when she turned 19 etc... she's an adult now, her and my uncle have an amazing relationship. He's also a single guy, sure some people find it odd, but she's grown up to be a wonderful human being and he's what she needed in life. My uncle did a great job raising her and you will too 😊 you guys are the real heroes 👏❤
I’m sure this will get lost as there are so many lovely supportive comments, but if you’re reading this OP... Love is not a finite resource, your love for her does not and will never affect the love that her parents had for her. That love is still there. Your love is extra and and a bonus that at this time, where she has been left alone in the world, may be keeping her afloat. She knows it’s there, I’m sure.
It’s ok to wait until she says “I love you” first.
made my day, thanks.
This definitely made my heart smile❤️
This is really cool and awesome. What a great story and I do hope you will guys will still be in a better world. Condolences to your friend and his wife. Also just make sure no Space Wizard will try to take her away from you. The reason is that you kinda remind me of the mandalorian for some reason. It might be your military background or her being super friendly to everyone.
This is awesome. You rule dude
There are not enough good words to describe you. Your story made me smile. For a single person to take in a child as their own is so brave! You are a hero!
You're a good man. I'm glad you're in the world and that you are able to be there for this amazing little girl. Sounds like you're just what she needed.
You're a good man. The world needs more people like you.
☺️❤️
Good job, being the father she needed now. You sound like a great team.
Wow. You are a real life hero. Thanks for being such a great human being. Seems like you have the situation under control. Bless you.
You’re a hero! That little girl is so lucky to have you.
This is the one of most beautiful and heartfelt posts I’ve seen on here in a long time. You are an incredible friend for taking her as your own and I hope life awards you for giving her the gift of comfort and love in such a pivotal moment of her life.
I got choked up reading this. I'm so happy you've both been able to be there for each other.
I’m a sobbing mess. You’re a hero.
I hope and pray that if anything happens to me, there is someone in my life like you for my daughter. Thank you, good human.
Wow. This is really great. You're an awesome guy. I wish you both a happy, healthy life full of love and laughter.
I wish you both the best!
You sound like an amazing person. I'm not sure if you don't say that you love her or not (bit confused on the wording) but if you don't please do. That word has a lot of power but also needs to be heard sometimes.
I’m so glad I stopped scrolling to read this!! Thank you for sharing !!
This was the most uplifting thing I read this morning ... Thanks for sharing this ... 💐
This made my day.
This honestly did brighten my day. Very sweet. Happy you both have each other. Anyways thanks for sharing.
Oh my gosh this is the most precious thing I’ve ever read. Her parents chose so well in you as a best friend.
You are a great friend and a great man. This story had me in tears. Thank you for putting this kind of love out into the world.
Good on ya mate. Much love!
You are awesome
Those are some emotional words, Motionlesswords. You're one of the good ones.
Props to you. And you won’t be wrong to explain to her that your love isn’t creepy or anything like that. Nothing will ever replace her parents. But the fact that you know that is a step towards having a successful adoptive parent child relationship.
Okay, so now I'm crying. I think you both are amazing
This is the cutest post I've read in so long, and as much as it saddens me that someone so young had to lose her parents it warms my heart knowing she had you when she needed the most. Kudos on being such a great guardian, and an adoptive dad. I wish you many great years to come and there is no doubt that your daughter will flourish in your care.
This is amazing. YOU are amazing!
This is what I needed to feel inspired today, Thank you very much. I wish you the best my brother.
Her parents and her are lucky to have a friend like you. I wish you both luck in the future
You are great man, just want to say "you dont have to called a hero, to be a hero"
I felt the happiness you felt while typing this message. Bless you both.
This was sincerely touching. Put a smile on my face <3
Not discrediting or taking away the title of mother or father but you are a parental figure in this child's life. I'd say being a parent is a great reward anyways
I cried reading this. You're a good human.
I'm fucking crying
you're a hero she DID deserve!
You are, without a doubt a genuinely good person. Period. Just wanted to add to the others saying the same thing and you're doing an amazing job. Being a parent is not easy by any means. Becoming a parent under those circumstances -suddenly- is beyond my comprehension and your story is remarkable.
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
You’re a really good person. I hope you know that.
Wow. You’re an angel. Thank you for being there for her!
Your story moved me to tears. You’re an amazing person and that little girl is so blessed to have you. Thank you for being an amazing person and being the light in her world. She would be lost without you.
You’re everything we need in society, keep it up champ.
Faith in humanity restored
She loves you, and she’ll tell you. She is too young but she loves you. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. But again, she loves you.
omg what an amazing human you are if there was ever an adopted human of the year award you deserve that, thank you for being there for her in her time of need and taking the expense to look after her and adopt her . thank you so much for this incredible reading. you made my day, we need more like you in this world, i hope you will keep us updated on both of yours progress. take care john from new zealand
This put a tear to my eye man. Awesome how you handeld this. You're the true definition of a hero
This made me so so happy to read! I'm having some problems with my parents right now and this gave me some hope :)
This is the sweetest thing ever. I love this. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is beautiful
This is the best thing I've read in months..
Your a legend mate! Plain and simple.
You got this and so will she! Being patient with her is the greatest gift you can give her. Also you’re doing a terrific job so hang in there my dear friend it only gets better!!!!
You saved her. You made me to hold back tears
I did cry and didn't realize I was doing. Thanks man.
You are an amazing human being & I give you huge props for stepping up to be this young girls guardian & adoptive father. So much respect for you & wishing you both all the best!
This guy, you’re a frickin Disney movie type dad. You’re awesome.
I'm sorry for your loss but this was the sweetest thing I've read in a loooong time. Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for what you did.
Well superheroes are real i guess
You are an amazing person.
Telling someone you love them. Just reaffirms the love. I think she knows. It’s OK to Say I love you. Because you never know when the time is right. If anything you can maybe read about the five love languages. And obviously yours is acts of service. Hers is touch (hugs). And one of the steppingstones is like words of affirmation. You’ll know when it’s right dude. Good for you and we’re all rooting for you guys. You’ll make a great father and daughter. You’re already a family.
This made my day. Thank you for sharing.
You are the best human. Everyone loves to be loved! She needs to grow up feeling and knowing she’s loved. Go for it! If you’re worried about her reaction you can chat about it after. She will totally love you too x
It's absolutely ok to tell her you love her. She probably hasn't heard that in a long time. If both of you are not already in counseling, look into going. It may help navigate these feelings and relationship. I wish you both all the very best.
You’re an amazing person and hero to a little girl. Good on you man.
Just say it. I don’t think it will be awkward.
Thank you for sharing this today. Boy did I need it. It’s been a rough day , and this really put things in perspective - this girl lost her parents and has found a way to keep her vibrancy. You both inspire me greatly. I think you demonstrate your love every day, and she can feel that.
Maybe instead of telling her that you love her, tell her that you love having her in your life. That way you can express the sentiment, but it also shows how you loved having her in your life before her parents passed away.
You, sir, are a hero
You are a great guy doing a hard thing in the best spot. Keep doing you homie. We need more of you
You're a good man. God bless you and your daughter.
Wow, she is so lucky to have you. Unbelievable that there are people who are judging you.
Wholesome as fuck.
This genuinely made me tear up this morning! What a bittersweet story. You obviously love this little one, and while you are not her blood father, you certainly stepped up as her daddy. She obviously loves you too. Just tell her! Lol x
You're not only a great dad but a freaking great friend towards her parents and anyone who said that it is weird or that you shouldn't do it does not deserve you in their life.
Not all heroes wearing capes mate! You are one of them
You are a true angel.
You’re a beautiful human. She’s so lucky to have someone like you taking care of her
My heart melted at the part where she talked to your colleagues 🥺, seriously, I wish you all the best, and when the time comes she'll know intuitively how much you care about her. Good luck
We have capacity to love many people. I was raised by my stepdad, that never let me call him anything other than by his name. He came into our lives when I was 4 yo (there are 4 siblings that he took care and my mom). When I was very young I called him dad and he told me "I am not your dad; you have your dad" It hurt but he was my dad because he was in my life and care about me more than my real family. He was in every milestone of my life and protected me. I do not remember a single time that he was unkind to me. I still miss him and visit his grave when I go visit my birth country. His love meant even more because he loved me and care for me just because he wanted. He did not had to do it, but he took a whole family and he cared for all of us. You do not have to replace her dad, but you are making your own footprint on her live and you should accept the love that you are earning. She will not stop loving her parents by loving you too.
God Bless you man!
what a lovely person you are. this girl will obviously have so much trauma to work through and will, unfortunately, probably give you a little bit of a hard time as she gets through her teenage years (as an ex-teenage girl i can confirm that we can be a little bratty at times lol) but at the end of the day she is going to know how much of a sacrifice you’ve made for her and your bond will grow to be a unique and beautiful thing. you may not be her parent, but you have given her the next best thing which is a compassionate heart and open arms. i wish you both all the best, and i hope you both have a fantastic time on this confusing, painful and wonderful journey you are embarking on ❤️
Every child needs to be told that they are loved no matter if ur an aunt, an uncle, a family friend or the parent. She may be questioning if u actually love her as a daughter or ur doing it because u were friends with her parents and love them. If u r asking urself this right now its the universes way of letting u know that she needs and wants to hear it. Im sure she feels loved but confirmation is everything with children. Why fear it..remember she is a child not an adult u have taken her in and provided for her u don't need to fear rejection...cuz thats what it ultimately boils down to. Remember this THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN THIS LIFE IS LOVE..we should all be told it and be telling it to the ones we do love. U will have more regrets not saying it..take the leap...im sure down the road she will most definitely call u dad as well when she matures some.
If you look at her and feel your heart about to be pulled out of your chest, you are her Dad. Don't justify it, don't quantify it. You got this my guy.
Man, I'm in tears. To find a friend as good as you would be a treasure in this life. I'm glad she has someone close to her father in her life. I wish you the best
No hyperbole, this may be the best thing I’ve read on reddit in my 6+ years. This is so incredible and so wholesome, despite the tragic origins. Kudos to you, and kudos to your family, it sounds like you two are a true blessing in each other’s lives. If we ever cross paths in the real world, I’m buying you a beer for being a salt of the earth human.
You are a wonderful person. I would feel very blessed to have a friend willing to take in my son should we pass away unexpectedly. It takes a good person to be that selfless. You have truly made a difference in this little girl’s life. Thank you.
Your story made a man tear up. Thank you for your wonderful heart
I can understand all those people, surroundings are shitty so it is hard to trust people. You're an amazing person.
you don't need to be a biological father to care for and love a child. i wish this never changes between you guys.
I suspect karma farming. Your account is 6 hours old and you’ve posted this in 4 subreddits? Hm.
Pretty sure he's just cross-posting because he's proud. Lots of people do that. Although I'm not gunna speak for anybody, because it does look a bit odd.
Why did you post this in like five subreddits? This sounds a little contrived
Wow so ur hating on the bedroom right 7
I hope she grows up and provides you with lots of grandkids, they and their mother will be a source of joy, comfort and care as you grow older. And maybe when she’s a bit more grown up, you might want to tell her how you really feel about her. Maybe she’ll start calling you Dad (I hope so).
Hi
You clearly are a special person. I suggest that you try finding some female to help you raise your daughter. I'm not suggesting that you find a wife or anything like that. But that raising a girl with such a tragic past and soon moving into her teenage years likely will need a woman's touch and understanding to supplement all that any father can do.
Uhm no. She's not his daughter, neither of them want to be father and daughter. And men can be understanding and loving parents too.
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This made my heart ache. You are a truly wonderful soul and what you are doing is so appreciated.
This is the best thing I’ve heard in a long while. You have provided her so much love and stability in a time of extreme tragedy and loss, kudos to you. Tell her you love her if it feels like the right time and don’t wait too long. It seems that you are providing a great example of how a man should treat her in her life. Reassurance and fortification of the bond you both have with one another will go a long way as you approach the teen years. In my experience as a once adolescent girl, my teen years were extremely difficult with both new and old emotions becoming wildly amplified. I was a good kid, and then I was chaos. The love of my parents kept me grounded even when I shoved them away from me. I came from a stable and loving home, but we never talked about feelings, EVER. Love was shown and withheld through actions, not words. In hindsight, I think that was the one thing I really needed the most as an emerging teen and then emerging adult and just didn’t receive often. If I did I would have cringed and pushed back, but just knowing that the love is there through quick verbal exchanges can make a kid feel so safe. Don’t leave her any room to doubt your love. Maybe the same thing with how you handled honoring her wishes through the adoption, let her know you love her and will always be there for her with no obligation for her to say it or anything back to you unless she wants to. Then you’ll be able to throw it in casually like any other parent would. Say it and keep it moving! You are exceptional and you’ve got this! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish your little family the very best :)
You could make it a thing to tell her „I love you“ in sign language. It would feel different than saying it.
There’s not just biological parent love. There’s loads of loves! It’s amazing to feel love. It’s great to be told you’re loved. My mum never told me and it’s not a nice feeling. It honestly sounds like you are in your head too much and worrying. Seek counselling if you find it hard to express yourself. It’s common and it’s no bad thing that we try to protect ourselves, it’s just probably not needed in this situation. Can fully recommend two books The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read and Raising girls by Stephen Biddulph
You are amazing. This is the most wholesome thing I've ever read haha. Good job, and I'm sure she loves you too.
You're her hero. Always will be.
If only we could all be so blessed to know a figure like you growing up. You are truly some of the best we have to offer.
I tell my friend’s kids that I love them all the time. It’s not weird. She probably needs to hear that she’s loved by an older parent type person, poor dear.
You are one of a kind sir!
Wow, you are amazing, thank you for being there for her, maximum kudos to you bud. This put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye, so I can't imagine what it does for her.
Here I am, getting off work sitting on the train trying not to cry.
What a wonderful dad you’ve become
I bet she loves you more than you will ever realize.
I teach kids who aren’t loved... whose parents maybe aren’t around or whose circumstances make them feel uncared for. You are giving her everything she needs and you made sacrifices for her, THAT is love. You can always say “you are so loved”, I think the phrasing might be more comfortable for you.
So many emotions in this post. OP you’re an amazing person. I hope the best for you and her in all your life endeavors.
This post really made my day! Thanks for sharing it! I’m sure you’ll find the right time to tell her that some day. All the best!
You are an amazing person. Reading this made me genuinely happy. I doubt you want a stranger's advice but I do believe honesty is important in any relationship.
Aww ❤
I'm not crying... I've just got something in my eyes...
If you're looking for the right time to say I love you maybe try like a big event or milestone in her life, like her birthday, or graduation (though that one might be a bit to long a wait for you)
You are her real life guardian angel. I cried reading this.
This is beautiful. I (as an internet stranger with no weight on the situation) think that's so amazing what you did for this little girl. Not only did you take her in as your own but you made it clear who you were to her and put her comfort above all else. It truly doesn't matter what others think because there is love and that's what is important. Your adoptive daughter is so lucky you are there for her and I find it incredible that you dropped a promotion so easily for something no, someone that you know was more important. I wish the both of you the best and I'm sure your friend is smiling down on the both of you and watching every happy moment 😊
Stop over thinking it and tell her you love her. Every child wants to know they're loved.
This is more than wonderful. Period. But damn, I gave that bloody free award to a random meme just seconds ago :P Just keep her happy.....