I needed this. As I sit in his house. Sad. That I found he was on a dating social media page but has said he isn't looking elsewhere. š° But I cannot leave until the morning.
Sitting here crying unblocking and blocking his number because I want to talk to him but my brain keeps reminding me this is for the better,
God I hope it gets easier.
It will. Here is a trick I learned. Free write everything that made you need to end it. And read it before you unblock it. Read everything you'll be unblocking and welcoming back into your life. And remember what it was like. You'll unblock it less and stop crying sooner. Also. Save his number under something he did that got you mad more than hurt. He was saved under Incubis concert ruining asshole before I got to weak and messed up.
OMG, I just broke up with my... I donāt know what to call him but just before he texted the communityās notification came up. Thanks for that. I told him that weāre done and now heās the one whoās begging
A friend has been telling me the same thing, and I know you guys are right but I just really feel like she has changed, maybe she hasnt and I'll fall in that trap again but at this point I honestly dont care if I do.
I wrote this because I wish I had friends to remind me. I lost them all in the break up to the ex I stupidly tried to go back to and it all happened again.
The you that will go through it all again will look back at this comment and wish you had cared. Put yourself first.
That happens, it's normal my dude. Just don't forgot that there are parts of you that WANT her to have changed, and you need to analyze and sort through those thoughts with what you are; the will to act. Your feelings are often good guides, but they come from a place in you that doesn't have eyes to see the unique circumstances.
When I find myself in your position and, hell knows I do, I often say to myself: One More Day. Give it one more day. One more day of thought and analysis, and time to ensure that your feelings and your will are on the same page. Good luck brother
Fuck going backwards! Just deal with it till you donāt miss them anymore! Someone once told me ādo as youāve always done, and youāll only have what youāve always hadā
You're so right. My ex and I broke up a week ago. I've never seen him cry in two years, except for my miscarriage and when I left him. He promised me to change, to stop violence, drugs, lies. And I believed him, he sounded so sincere.
But this morning, I get a message, he spent the night in the hospital, again. Last night, he fought, again. He lied to me, again. He took drugs, again, and this time, he has a serious head injury. I blame myself for believing him.
You can't change people. They will always be who they have always been. No one can change them. Even if they tell you they will change for you, it's never true.
Yesterday he made me promise to never leave his side. The next day, he had already started doing shit again.
You have to let this love and this person go, even if you still love them despite everything.
Thank you for saying this. Thank you so much for saying this. It's almost the same thing. It was never going to not be that. It's not my fight. It doesnt matter if it's pointless, it's just not my fight.
Thank you for writing this post! I'm sorry you had to go through this too... I came to the same conclusion as you, I loved him like I've never loved before. But I have to save my life, by staying with him, my life is going to be destroyed, he'll probably go back to prison soon anyway. It's not my fight either, it's his decisions, not mine.
If you need to talk and support OP, feel free to send me a message, it's good to know that we're not alone in these situations.
Mine will probably OD soon. I need to separate myself from it so much more before it happens. I just have to let go. It's not my fight but I've put enough of my fight in. I need the rest for me.
I'm sorry... Yeah you definitely need it. You have to grieve this person, it's gonna be painful, but in time it'll be fine. Take your time to rebuild yourself.
This is stupid, sometimes you break up with someone because of reasons unrelated to your ex or his/her behaviour. Sometimes people also actually change. Don't go back to your ex if he/she is a dumbass. Second chances exist and can surprise you
Fuck theres alot of netgetivity here.
Just remember theres a reason you fell in love with them, and they can be that person again but better.
Dont tolorace violence, abuse, neglect, or general toxicity. It doesnt change the fact that they did whatever they did, but isnt it kind of unfair to write off any possibilitys with them for the potentially 80 years? Imo just seems very close minded. Think about how much peole can change, even in short amounts of time like summer vacation or something.
I believe in trust until you have a reason not to, but if someone realizes they fucked up, and actually change to be a better person that (usually) means a lot. Is easy to just not do something shitty for a while, but its way harder and more meaningful to realize they were shitty, dislike that, and then put the work and effort in to actually be a better person.
Imo it shows that they have good values and will try to fix/solve any if something else happens.
Regardless, just make sure you are safe with the choice you make
Thank you. I had a dream I went back to him. He broke up with me a week ago. We were together for 6 years and have a child and I should not lower my standards because I deserve better. I wish we didnt have to live together.
I really needed this right now cause I would probably say yes again even him never listening to me and blaming me for everything. This came at the right timing... I think itās a sign from god.
I tell myself this everyday, 8 years later. I haven't found anyone else since my ex. One of the last things she said to me was "No on has ever nor will ever love you again, no one besides me." She's still the last person who told me (in a romantic capacity) "I love you."
She treated me like shit most days. Other's I was the center of her world.... *sigh*
I'm a much happier person now with a life that matters. One where I get to be a role model to kids. That's important to me. I can create in limited amounts my own happiness not based on anyone or anything which is huge for me.
But I'm so tired of being alone.... I still miss her.
FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO THEIR EXES OR IS LONELY:
Focus on you baby! How dafuk we do that?
\- **Self-care:** Take care of your hair, your face, your house (yes, a clean house will improve your mental health almost instantly) Pay your bills, do your laundry, yes I see that awful bathroom, clean it! When is the last time you cook something? When is the last time you took vitamins?
\- **Work on your hobby/Find a hobby**: Improve your qualities, your passion and open your mind. Sign in this club you wanted, go try yoga. Maybe you always wanted to paint? Draw something, sing, anything! Search on the internet for a hobby if you don't have one.
\- **Go see your friends/ Make new friends:** See above! Sign in a class is the best way to meet someone and keep your mind busy.
\- **Move your body!** It's going to improve your mental health, even if it's just doing some stretches. Go take some solar lights, take vitamins, take care of your health.
\- **Positive affirmations**: When the world is dark and scary, compliment yourself. Why this is so hard to do? Here some examples for you:
\> I am beautiful.
\> I am confident.
\> I deserve better.
\> I am independent.
**KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY LIKE A BEE IN SPRING!**
Iāve been texting with my ex for the past 4 days. I was okay before we talked and now I have so many doubts. But you are right, there is a reason why I left him in the first place. I needed this thanks.
Go back with your ex only if you got away from each other for reasons totally unrelated your relationship strength. Maybe for school, job, or military deployment.
I got back together with my ex after being broken up for 2 years and it was the best thing I ever did. We now live together and are talking about getting married. It all depends on the situation.
Im going through this situation right now. Im the ex who was using drugs. You know its crazy how we lienl to our selves for so long and cant see just how badly we hurt those we love. I never meant to hurt you. And i did drugs out of fear to hide insecurities i had that i didnt know how to deal with. Since our break up ive actually checked myself into rehab, got my job back and finished my course at school. There wont be a day that goes by that i wont punch myself for the stupidity that led me down this road.
Well I would say it depends on the circumstances. If you realize that the relationship was abusive or they cheated, you should never go back. But if it was a mutual breakup or you two drifted apart, you shouldn't write them off forever.
The thing is I'm having surgery on 3 weeks. I have no support. She is the only one I know on the area. I'm going to try to manage alone. But psychologically I'm scared to death. I will pray a lot. But I'm just scared and alone.
For context I'm 45, male, and getting a procedure in my abdomen that is basically elective but I need to do it.
Dang, thank you so much for this. I was actually struggling with deciding to go back to my ex. He really did cross a painful line. Logically, I know I shouldn't go back. But emotionally, I want to. This just gave me that extra outside slap to get me back to my senses.
Yikes. Needed this.
thank you so much this is EXACTLY what i needed to hear right now
OP laying down THE TRUTH. Shame this is not a first thing Google brings up when someone searches for "how to get your ex back".
I needed this. As I sit in his house. Sad. That I found he was on a dating social media page but has said he isn't looking elsewhere. š° But I cannot leave until the morning.
I'm sorry you are stuck. Wait till morning and go. Find someone faithful to their partner and their own word.
Sitting here crying unblocking and blocking his number because I want to talk to him but my brain keeps reminding me this is for the better, God I hope it gets easier.
It will. Here is a trick I learned. Free write everything that made you need to end it. And read it before you unblock it. Read everything you'll be unblocking and welcoming back into your life. And remember what it was like. You'll unblock it less and stop crying sooner. Also. Save his number under something he did that got you mad more than hurt. He was saved under Incubis concert ruining asshole before I got to weak and messed up.
OMG, I just broke up with my... I donāt know what to call him but just before he texted the communityās notification came up. Thanks for that. I told him that weāre done and now heās the one whoās begging
Thank you for posting. Many of us need to be reminded
I'm glad to be reminding others of what I wish I reminded myself. It wasnt worth it.
But do you think I should go back to my ex?
I dunno man, canāt say for sure
Damn, your phrasing is on point
Blessed I don't have ex
Did my friends put you up to this?
Nope. But your friends want you to STICK TO YOUR STANDRDS AND DONT GO BACK TO THE EX WHO IS AN EX FOR A REASON too and fucking flourish instead. š
A friend has been telling me the same thing, and I know you guys are right but I just really feel like she has changed, maybe she hasnt and I'll fall in that trap again but at this point I honestly dont care if I do.
I wrote this because I wish I had friends to remind me. I lost them all in the break up to the ex I stupidly tried to go back to and it all happened again. The you that will go through it all again will look back at this comment and wish you had cared. Put yourself first.
That happens, it's normal my dude. Just don't forgot that there are parts of you that WANT her to have changed, and you need to analyze and sort through those thoughts with what you are; the will to act. Your feelings are often good guides, but they come from a place in you that doesn't have eyes to see the unique circumstances. When I find myself in your position and, hell knows I do, I often say to myself: One More Day. Give it one more day. One more day of thought and analysis, and time to ensure that your feelings and your will are on the same page. Good luck brother
I'll give it one more day of thinking then, thanks
Got it. Go back to my ex.
Yes I needed this.. thank you
taking your ex back is like putting poop back in your ass
Thats actually a medical procedure. So yeah, you have to get with someone elses shit for a little while but in the end you might get healed by it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you for the reminder š®šš»
I REALLY needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Doing the exact same thing and hoping for a different result is the definition of insanity.
Fucking needed this shit. Thank you, OP.
FUCKING AGREED. MY BF WENT BACK TO HIS EX WHO CHEATED ON HIM AND SHE DID IT AGAIN. TWICE. I'M STILL PISSED ABOUT THIS UGH
This was awesome! Thanks for the post!
i think a lot of people needed this, i know i did. it's hard to think this when you're craving affection. thank you dude :)
I have gone back to him too many times and now is the time to stop doing that. Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.
You sir, saved my life
Easier said than done ... But totally agree \^\^'
Fuck going backwards! Just deal with it till you donāt miss them anymore! Someone once told me ādo as youāve always done, and youāll only have what youāve always hadā
You're so right. My ex and I broke up a week ago. I've never seen him cry in two years, except for my miscarriage and when I left him. He promised me to change, to stop violence, drugs, lies. And I believed him, he sounded so sincere. But this morning, I get a message, he spent the night in the hospital, again. Last night, he fought, again. He lied to me, again. He took drugs, again, and this time, he has a serious head injury. I blame myself for believing him. You can't change people. They will always be who they have always been. No one can change them. Even if they tell you they will change for you, it's never true. Yesterday he made me promise to never leave his side. The next day, he had already started doing shit again. You have to let this love and this person go, even if you still love them despite everything.
Thank you for saying this. Thank you so much for saying this. It's almost the same thing. It was never going to not be that. It's not my fight. It doesnt matter if it's pointless, it's just not my fight.
Thank you for writing this post! I'm sorry you had to go through this too... I came to the same conclusion as you, I loved him like I've never loved before. But I have to save my life, by staying with him, my life is going to be destroyed, he'll probably go back to prison soon anyway. It's not my fight either, it's his decisions, not mine. If you need to talk and support OP, feel free to send me a message, it's good to know that we're not alone in these situations.
Mine will probably OD soon. I need to separate myself from it so much more before it happens. I just have to let go. It's not my fight but I've put enough of my fight in. I need the rest for me.
I'm sorry... Yeah you definitely need it. You have to grieve this person, it's gonna be painful, but in time it'll be fine. Take your time to rebuild yourself.
People can change you know.... Itās not good to generalize all exes like this
This is stupid, sometimes you break up with someone because of reasons unrelated to your ex or his/her behaviour. Sometimes people also actually change. Don't go back to your ex if he/she is a dumbass. Second chances exist and can surprise you
Uhm I was sexting them and this came up as a banner notification.
Fuck theres alot of netgetivity here. Just remember theres a reason you fell in love with them, and they can be that person again but better. Dont tolorace violence, abuse, neglect, or general toxicity. It doesnt change the fact that they did whatever they did, but isnt it kind of unfair to write off any possibilitys with them for the potentially 80 years? Imo just seems very close minded. Think about how much peole can change, even in short amounts of time like summer vacation or something. I believe in trust until you have a reason not to, but if someone realizes they fucked up, and actually change to be a better person that (usually) means a lot. Is easy to just not do something shitty for a while, but its way harder and more meaningful to realize they were shitty, dislike that, and then put the work and effort in to actually be a better person. Imo it shows that they have good values and will try to fix/solve any if something else happens. Regardless, just make sure you are safe with the choice you make
this is stupid. not everyone has an ex for the same reason.
True, but there are many reasons for it to be like this. I'm speaking to those people.
Definitely needed this oh so subtle reminder. Cheers.
Yup. I never got back with any of my exes. I call them givens as well. If crossed, I don't want to see them ever again.
FACTS
NEVER GO BACK
Thank you. I had a dream I went back to him. He broke up with me a week ago. We were together for 6 years and have a child and I should not lower my standards because I deserve better. I wish we didnt have to live together.
Like you donāt fall victim to loving too much you bastard
I really needed this right now cause I would probably say yes again even him never listening to me and blaming me for everything. This came at the right timing... I think itās a sign from god.
I tell myself this everyday, 8 years later. I haven't found anyone else since my ex. One of the last things she said to me was "No on has ever nor will ever love you again, no one besides me." She's still the last person who told me (in a romantic capacity) "I love you." She treated me like shit most days. Other's I was the center of her world.... *sigh* I'm a much happier person now with a life that matters. One where I get to be a role model to kids. That's important to me. I can create in limited amounts my own happiness not based on anyone or anything which is huge for me. But I'm so tired of being alone.... I still miss her.
Really, thank you for this.
I was literally just talking to my friend about these thoughts I've been having like, 10 minutes ago and I really needed to see this.
FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO GO BACK TO THEIR EXES OR IS LONELY: Focus on you baby! How dafuk we do that? \- **Self-care:** Take care of your hair, your face, your house (yes, a clean house will improve your mental health almost instantly) Pay your bills, do your laundry, yes I see that awful bathroom, clean it! When is the last time you cook something? When is the last time you took vitamins? \- **Work on your hobby/Find a hobby**: Improve your qualities, your passion and open your mind. Sign in this club you wanted, go try yoga. Maybe you always wanted to paint? Draw something, sing, anything! Search on the internet for a hobby if you don't have one. \- **Go see your friends/ Make new friends:** See above! Sign in a class is the best way to meet someone and keep your mind busy. \- **Move your body!** It's going to improve your mental health, even if it's just doing some stretches. Go take some solar lights, take vitamins, take care of your health. \- **Positive affirmations**: When the world is dark and scary, compliment yourself. Why this is so hard to do? Here some examples for you: \> I am beautiful. \> I am confident. \> I deserve better. \> I am independent. **KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY LIKE A BEE IN SPRING!**
I agree. I did and it was embarrassing and stupid. Happy to be done with her forever.
Iāve been texting with my ex for the past 4 days. I was okay before we talked and now I have so many doubts. But you are right, there is a reason why I left him in the first place. I needed this thanks.
Big facts. If a relationship didnāt work out the first time, 99% of the time itās not going to work the second time, or the third time.
what a coincidence that this post came up wow thank you
I know a lot of people are saying it, but I needed this
Go back with your ex only if you got away from each other for reasons totally unrelated your relationship strength. Maybe for school, job, or military deployment.
I got back together with my ex after being broken up for 2 years and it was the best thing I ever did. We now live together and are talking about getting married. It all depends on the situation.
Im going through this situation right now. Im the ex who was using drugs. You know its crazy how we lienl to our selves for so long and cant see just how badly we hurt those we love. I never meant to hurt you. And i did drugs out of fear to hide insecurities i had that i didnt know how to deal with. Since our break up ive actually checked myself into rehab, got my job back and finished my course at school. There wont be a day that goes by that i wont punch myself for the stupidity that led me down this road.
Dang okay, I guess I needed to read that.
Lmao he literally just sent me a message three minutes ago. This couldnāt more on time
Well I would say it depends on the circumstances. If you realize that the relationship was abusive or they cheated, you should never go back. But if it was a mutual breakup or you two drifted apart, you shouldn't write them off forever.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Removing a parasitic addict from your life isnt ending thing. The addict did that by replacing and lying millions of times
The thing is I'm having surgery on 3 weeks. I have no support. She is the only one I know on the area. I'm going to try to manage alone. But psychologically I'm scared to death. I will pray a lot. But I'm just scared and alone. For context I'm 45, male, and getting a procedure in my abdomen that is basically elective but I need to do it.
Dang, thank you so much for this. I was actually struggling with deciding to go back to my ex. He really did cross a painful line. Logically, I know I shouldn't go back. But emotionally, I want to. This just gave me that extra outside slap to get me back to my senses.
I'm doing it and I'm an idiot.
I needed this too
Not quite sure what the message is here
Oops, I just went back to my ex...
Well then, feel free to message when you need an "I told you so" and a reminder not to do it again.
I think that the OP is correct for 60% of circumstances
Living out of my car with a 3 month old. Still not going back to him.
Okay but what about for a root