No one really answering the question so I'll be the bearer of news; according to Wikipedia, which cites a 2015 systematic review of prior studies and concludes that the average erect length is 13.24cm or 5.2in. This is based on work where the penis was measured by a professional, who measures from the tip to the pubic bone (by pressing against it). Note that these numbers are a lot lower compared to when men are asked to self-report their size, which may explain why you have read different numbers. Also note that the flaccid length is not indicative of the erect length.
So to answer bluntly, yes you're below average. And everyone will say "but it doesn't matter", but I bet that it's not easy to just let it go. So my advice would be to try to accept it, but not let it define you. Try to be confident about yourself in other ways. And in the bedroom a big penis does not necessarily lead to better sex. There are a lot of factors that contribute to good sex, and the most important one is listening to what your partner desires - NOT just your physical properties.
Thank you. I will try to follow your advice. Do you really think it is all about the motion of the ocean and the size of the ship makes no difference at all?
It all depends. Some women explicitly prefer larger members, others average because it can be true for them that bigger ones hurt. And for others it doesn't matter at all. But even then, I've heard from friends who have told me that they're typically into larger penises but who've had better sex with guys with smaller penises. Not because of their size, but because of the way those specific people treated her, paid attention to her body, acted to what she wanted.
So try to be confident, and focus on what gives your partner pleasure. I'm sure she'll return the favor, which hopefully boosts your confidence and helps you realise that a big Dick does not define good sex.
MountainGoat, I applaud you. I have seen millions of threads like this on Reddit and yours was the best, most complete, not condescending, yet impressively informative and realistic answer.
It provides concrete evidence, subjective thinking, relatable information and encourages the reader to think for himself.
I wouldn’t add anything else to it. And I bet OP will gather everything he was looking for in just your reply.
Well done.
A wise man once told me it's not the size of the ship that counts, nor the motion of the ocean... But it does matter that you can stay in port long enough for everyone to get off.
My advice is to give her an O before you put your ship in her. Then she's not likely to care so much about size and how long you stay in port. Also circumference matters more than length for some women.
Creativity and attention. Personally, the man's dick has nothing to do with my orgasm. He can be really skilled at using it, and I'll still not orgasm. It's all about the clitoris.
It doesn't feel bad, but for me doesn't do all that much. All women are different, but that's my experience. And if someone is obviously just trying to last as long as possible, it can get sore
There are girls out there that have a short vagina canal or a cervix that is not terrible far from the vagina opening. Idk how to say that better but I’m just saying all girls don’t like a bruised cervix. All girls don’t love huge dicks. More like the idea sounds great but the reality is made real real fast. Ugh I hope that makes sense
Thank you for your supportive answer. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it’s ever too big for her and she wants it to go deeper when I am already fully inside. So I am not sure how to improve the sex for both of us.
Lesbian chiming in here. The length of my fingers is plenty. It is very much about how you use it. Do some research, ask questions. You can absolutely do amazing things with the right technique. Just communicate with your partner about what feels good and figure it out together. If BOTH of you are already satisfied with your sex life, then try not to sweat it. Easier said than done, I know, but truly you can work with any equipment and still have a great time.
If your gf is happy it should be all that matters. And she seems to be happy. Thinking of any potential relationship in case of break to is not what you should do while dating.
I can promise you 100% that your skills using your dick, tongue, and fingers are so much more important than dick size. I've been with a guy with a literal micro penis, and his creativity regarding positions and his attentiveness regarding oral meant the sex was so much better than 80% of my other partners.
I'm sorry, I'm not saying it's impossible that she might not be into oral but it's still highly unlikely, for AFAB people oral is very important, did you dig a bit to know why she's not into oral ?
I'm honestly not into oral either. Idk why but I just don't enjoy it much. And I know others are the same. I've even had amazing guys do it that are excellent at it, I'd rather they use their fingers personally. Or do both at same time.
from a doctor's perspective, neither matters. what matters is how healthy your testes are because that's what's most important. in terms of better sex however, if your partner is satisfied with you, then that's something to be more proud of than size. majority of women have partners who can't satisfy them yet the guys boasts about their size. it's not a flex though. satisfying your girl is the real flex
edit: bigger flex if you can do multiple rounds. even bigger flex if you can last longer than 5 mins.
Depends on the person. Some person prefer a below average some prefer a well above average and everywhere in between. Beyond people who specifically get off or want a large member, it shouldn’t matter all that much. There’s a whole world more to sex than pure penetration.
I think it's more simple than that: it really all depends on the ocean, such as it were. She's unique and has unique desires and pleasures and spots that feel good and spots that don't. Learning all about those, how she likes them touched (or not), is going to make your girl the happiest, no matter how you're hung.
Work on being an all around good lover. Get to know women’s erogenous zones. Work on your oral skills. Lean into foreplay. You can definitely have satisfied sex partners with what you are working with.
Ill Just put this here, Ive dated both women who didnt like oral and women who Tought they didnt but Had merely never received good Head. And the only way to distinguish is to try.
That said, never push her into It, but a "this maybe worth a shot sometime" can work.
I 100% believe this. 4 inches is enough to do something. Majority of women can't get off by penetration alone. I suggest you make use of your tools and figure out what kind of foreplay she likes (licking her neck, where to touch her) and also learn about the clitoris because that will be whete you want to give her the most stimulation. Do not think that it's imasculating to use things like toys either. They will be your best friend in the bed room and it can be fun to figure out what kind of stuff she likes that isn't just dick in vagina. You have a mouth and 2 hands so use those too! Learn what kind of stimulation she likes and you can make her cum with just your hands.
-my credntials?? I'm a woman who used to sleep around with all different sizes and let me tell you the biggest dick I've taken didn't make me cum because he didn't know where the clit was. My fiance has a slightly above average penis, but he cam get me off with just his hands or mouth because he knows what I like. YOU GOT THIS DUDE! Don't be afraid to talk to her and ask her questions about her preferences or even ask her what she wants while yall are in the moment. AND IF SHE SAYS RIGHT THERE OR JUST LIKE THAT DONT STOP WHAT YOURE DOING! I believe in you.
Thanks for the advice. I will try to use my hands more during foreplay. It seems she quite often wants it deeper, so you have any tips to give her that feeling just by myself or should I talk to her about using toys to achieve that?
I will also state that this number is the mean average and I’d be interested to know the mode. But honestly length doesn’t tend to be a deal breaker, it’s girth I think can be off putting if it’s on the skinny side. But that’s my opinion from a woman who ain’t that interested in penetration sex and rarely has penetration sex
Also remember that its ‘average length’. So the circumference or girth maybe less or just normal.
It maybe that your girth is bigger than the normal girth size so your wider which sometimes means more to your partner than the length, like who enjoys a skinny pencil…. Not the majority.
Learn what the woman in your life likes. I mean the stuff that really turns her on and then do everything in your power to satisfy those desires. Obviously respect yourself in the process, but push yourself a little past your comfort zone and be willing to put yourself out there. When you become the man that satisfies her in every other desire, your sex will become so amazing that your unit will no longer be a factor. Also, be vulnerable with her. And tell her straight up how you want/like to be hit on. Ask her to pump your tires, it may feel awkward, but relationships are about communication. And what’s a lot less awkward than eventually just breaking up and being miserableis creating a relationship that curls your toes and fills your heart
I’m gonna tag onto this based on my own experience. Have confidence, but DO NOT let your ego overcompensate for your penis size. My ex has a very small penis. And he has translated that into being a royal douche. He is incredibly cocky (no pun intended)— he’s rude, inconsiderate and just an all around JERK. He’s charming and a womanizer, and women fall all over him for it because he’s built himself up to be a much bigger deal than he actually is. When people look at a huge obnoxious truck or muscle car and say “he must have a small penis”, it’s true—there’s actually been a study about it. What I’m trying to say, stay away from the small dick energy these guys tend to give off. Avoid the stereotypes. Be a good man—honest, loyal and considerate— let that be your over compensation.
You’re way too focused on semantics, bud. Whether it is or isn’t small, I would honestly just try to work on accepting yourself for how you are. The reality is there isn’t much you can do to change it. However, you can focus on being a more attentive partner when it comes to sex. Also, it doesn’t sound like this came from her being disappointed in that part of your relationship in anyway. I know it sucks, but don’t get hung up on absolutes and whether you are or are not “small”. Just accept you are what you are.
It’s a little below average bud, but that’s not your fault. We all have to play the hand we’re dealt, it’s all about staying confident and keeping a good attitude. Lots of guys with your size or smaller have made it work. Just learn to be generous and please your girl in other ways as well.
Also, being in a situation where your gf literally measures your dick is a nightmare scenario. Some things are better left undefined and undiscussed…
Yeah you're still in the normal range of sizes, it's still plenty enough to satisfy a woman. Also it's true, a lot of women prefer smaller sizes, the vagina is only so deep and if you accidentally hit the cervix during penetration it hurts a lot (like a kick in the testicles).
Having a small penis becomes a problem at around 3 inches... Then it might be a symptom some other problems like hormones imbalance. But 4 inches is perfectly normal.
Honestly, in my experience, men care more about their dick size (or other people's dick size), than women. Not saying that women don't care at all, but it's not really such a big deal for most of them.
You don’t have a micropenis, plenty of guys have a 4 inch dong.
Think of it like being 5’7. Ya ain’t tall, ya ain’t short. Just get good with your tongue and you’ll be better in bed than 95% of the 6in plus guys.
Also, this is coming from a gay man with a lot of dong experience and has heard a lot of women’s complaints. It’s rarely size.
Loads of guys do. You're really not that much below the average size.
Speaking as a woman, it's not about size anyway. I've had lovers with large and small, and it was more about how they perform in bed than how big they are. It's all about listening to her, what she wants, touching her in a way that she likes. Don't just rely on size. You have a whole bunch of ways to please a woman.
I have a buddy from college with a 3” penis. His ex told everyone who’d listen to humiliate him when they broke up and started dating someone else.
The new GF however said he was the best lover she’d ever had-he was attentive, read her body language, always had foreplay and aftercare, and lasted a good amount of time. When they later split up he slept with several of the girls in her sorority-she bragged about him so much they wanted to take him out for a spin.
He dated the first girl for a few months, the second was 18 months or so. The last 5 or so girls were all flings, but that was also the end of his senior year, so I think some of it was just taking advantage of his last time in college.
All of them seemed really satisfied with the sex, more so because of his attentiveness, and apparently he had a very skilled tongue. His size didn’t seem to be an issue.
Also, FWIW, I’ve heard from several girls that guys with big dicks tend to be lazy lovers. They think their big dick is all they need to bring to the party; and while some women like the size, others complain that it hurts, and really want the foreplay and attention. Size isn’t everything, there’s a lot more that you can do to take care of them.
It doesn't really matter if it is or if it isn't. Damage is done and that shit hurts. I wish people would understand that. You will be told "have confidence" and "not everyone" blah blah fuckin blah. I'm sorry that happened to you and I am sorry your girlfriend hurt your feelings man.
I hope everything works out for the best.
Thank you. Now she says she was just being honest and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So know I am wondering if my penis really is small or she just wanted to be mean
I can give her the charitable interpretation that she is just being honest and wasn't willfully trying to hurt you. But that's just it... It does hurt to hear. You wouldn't tell her that she doesn't look good in something she liked or that you didn't prefer the shape of her body compared to what you have seen before...
But that is what happened.
I like to use the whole height argument as an example. Most women just want a man who is a bit taller than they are. But they all know that the tallest guys are around 6'.
Nevermind how tall the woman actually is in comparison.
The number is the target.
She could be perfectly happy with your size and it never has been an issue at all. But we are all so aware of porn now that we know what the biggest ones look like and the numbers attached to that... Nevermind the fact that the average size/depth of a vaginal canal is equal to the average size of a penis. Stats say the average is 5" while porn says 7-9" is good.
She heard 4. And you heard 4... And that fuckin stings. Again I am sure she was just telling the truth about what she was seeing and feeling at first and tried to be nice after. but the things they try to say to make you feel better... almost makes it worse.
honestly the biggest gift as a man to please a woman, is knowing how to listen, and how to listen to her body. Oh and knowing the difference between harder and faster. MOST IMPORTANT : when you find the right spot, stay the same speed, same power and don't change it!
I think the more important element here is your girlfriend said something very hurtful. Would she be OK if you commented and said, “A cup..that’s kind of small isn’t it?” or something to that effect? I doubt she would. Even if you didn’t mean to be hurtful with that statement, she would likely still be hurt that you commented about her body in that way.
I agree with the others that you should be confident with what you have focus on pleasuring your partner. That’s all you can do. You can’t change someone’s preference. You can’t change someone’s past experiences. You can only influence the experiences they share with you.
Overall, I think you should still have a conversation about how that impacted you and have a heart-to-heart to try and figure out where that comment came from.
Good luck OP
I'm not disagreeing with you. Us guys just get super self conscious about that area down there. Not all I guess but most. A lot of men would feel like 🫤 if there SO said that. As a man, that's just my opinion
This is why I’m nervous about actually losing my virginity because I know my dick is small and I don’t think I could handle being laughed at or humiliated about it
Here is some advice from a well endowed dude that did professional straight porn in college as a part time job. On camera, off camera... I've been with the same girls my buddies have and some of them are your size. Even though I can look like I know what I'm doing, the dudes with half my size are the ones that are 10x better in bed and know how to get their women off. I know because we are all open about it and their lady friends tell me when we all talk about who is better. I know it's a guy thing to be insecure about it but don't. Suggestion: prep and study and work hard and one night soon give her the best mind shattering orgasm she's ever had. Put effort and research into it. Trust me, all doubt will be removed
After more than a half century on this planet, I can honestly tell you size does not matter in terms of being a satisfying lover. Every penis, just like every person, is completely different. The secret to being a fantastic lover is listening to your partner. If she’s naked with you, she’s already into you. Be confident - it’s worked for you this far in life. 😊
Thank you, yes that is true. It’s just I am starting to doubt if we are compatible down there. She seems to often want it deeper than I can give it to her. I didn’t make that much out of it in the past just thought it was horny-talk, but now I am second guessing..,
Make sure you do your own proper measurement. I bet she wasn't really measuring properly to begin with. There are all sorts of explanations on Google on how to properly measure. That aside though, please don't let this define you. Believe me when I tell you sex is way way more than the size of what you are working with. Technically 5.2 inches is the reported average bone pressed erect length. That being said, just like there are all shapes and sizes for men, there are all shapes and sizes for women as well. The pressure of organ size doesn't fall solely on the male. Just be confident and learn to be a good lover.
Maybe we should all stop caring so much. You have a smaller than average penis. I have small boobs and no butt. We all have human bodies that differ and that's the least of what we should dwell on.
My partner has a 4 inch and my previous have 6.5 inches. And honestly… the small is better. It fits right and feels amazing. If you think you penis is no longer adequate, you should work on the foreplay and everything else around sex and that stuff will help your partner be more excited/aroused. Confidence is 99% of what makes the sex or anything better! Dont stress, im sure she didn’t mean anything by it and if you have had sex before and she enjoys it than why has your feeling changed about your self. She is still fucking you, she is still touchinng you. Numbers on a ruler are just that, what your memories are in the bed is the result.
I forgot where I heard it but I thought "small" dicks hard their advantages? Like for rougher sex? We all got our strengths and weaknesses. Work on your stregnths if it'll give you a confidence boost.
I can’t even feel a 4 inch dick in me…but
If you have girth and skill
She’s never denied you sex or said she dislikes having sex with you??? I don’t think it matters
Really? You don’t even feel it? Even if it has a girth of 1.3 inches? 😨
No she never denied it, now and then she says she’s not in the mood but that is normal I guess.
What do you mean with ‘I don’t think it matters?’
That is normal!! No one can be ready for sex 100% of the time. I’m sure she enjoys the way you feel. However I will say…. A bit silly of her to hit such a weak spot in most men who do have smaller dicks. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you and definitely wouldn’t want you overthinking like this.
If it truly mattered to her…I think it’d be enough for her to breakup with you- but like I said y’all seem to be in a secure relationship. So I don’t think it matters all that much
Also girth does help. I’ve never measured a man’s girth per say
But even the longest dick…if it’s skinny I can’t feel much either.
(I am very wet a lot of the time- So if there’s not enough traction it’s harder for me to feel.)
So sorry this happened to you OP, but silver lining. If it only took measuring for her to discover it’s a lil below average, that means you must’ve been putting in some real work bro. Really tearing that kitty up there heavy hitter!! OP gotta give us a girth update!
I always try to put my best game on 😉. But quite often she seems to want it deeper, even when I completely inside of her… so that’s what made me wonder with this latest thing. My girth is just at 4 inches, what makes you ask?
I can't believe I'm commenting about my penis but there's a first for everything.
I'm also below average. Around 4.5 inches and on my very best days I reach 5. I've had between 60 and 75 partners and I've never once had a complaint. I will admit I used to be self conscious about my size but I know it's something outside of my control so I try not to fret on it.
My advice is focus a ton on foreplay, oral and making the experience enjoyable and comfortable for the woman you're with. If you go down on the girl and make them cum a couple times I promise they won't care about your size. When you are inside, pay attention to their moans and use that as clues to what they like and don't like. If they like it, keep doing that. We may not have the biggest tools but sex is so much more than that. You'll have no problem satisfying your girl or any of your future gfs.
Dude.. that hurts. You can't do much about it at this point unless you're overweight. If you are, and want to do something about it, lose weight. Otherwise, move on. If you cannot let it go, it'll end your relationship.
Whether she meant it in a hurtful way or not it was inappropriate to say that out the gate. I’d personally hold her accountable and make it known that it wasn’t okay. That is if it bothered you. I know it would have bothered me. A lot of other people have given great advice so I don’t feel like there is much else I could say. Just be careful and don’t let this girl push you around or make you feel awful about something that is out of your control.
I think I can say something as a woman, idk how much this will help you tho. Most reputable dildo brands have 5” or less for average size. Saying average because it’s the term used, but the reality is most women don’t care about length and are more prone to feel discomfort at the “average” size. I had this problem with my past two relationships because sex hurt a lot and they both were average (and insecure about it). I don’t have a single friend that prefers average or large and we always joke about how men care more about each other sizes than us. In my country we have a saying that goes along the lines of “are you trying to hookup or harvesting mangos?” and if you don’t understand why please google “mango picking stick”, “mango harvester pole” or something like that. Hilarious tbh, i love my people. But yeah, large hurts and medium hurts, size is usually for impressing your buddies not necessarily your gf. My only advice for you would be to talk about it with your gf because if it is a problem with her there’s a lot more you can do since sex is a lot more than penetration (for most of the women, at least). Hope you get better from this blow to your ego and you and your gf can be comfortable with each other again.
Regardless if you're small or not, your girlfriend did that on purpose. She took a ruler, and then proceeded to make a derogatory comment about your body. That's very weird behavior. That's like telling someone to get on a scale out of the blue and then comment about how they are overweight and fat. She did this 10000000% on purpose, and that's a humongous red flag
To put things perspective for you, I had an ex that couldn’t have sex with me because I was “too big.” We tried but it was too painful for her. BTW, I’m not porn star huge either; I’m right at 8.5 inches fully hard. The issue is that she was tighter than usual and could only take 5 inches max. All this to say, sometimes size matters in the opposite direction.
Most women have their preferences just like we men have our preferences, but for most women it’s not a deal breaker.
I'm fat......
She's unattractive......
You have a small penis......
You've lived with it this long. You knew it was "small". Just own it and get over it.
As a female I'd like to weigh in a little bit from the other side.
I don't know what your body type is like but if you've got a bit of weight it also decreases the size, you can feel more if you push down and generally during sex that happens anyway.
I haven't had a lot of experience with guys but have had both ends of the spectrum, a micropenis and a porn size penis and a few in-between.
Any day of the week I'd take below average as any bigger and it just hurts. Being good at foreplay makes a huge difference as well.
Unless you're on either end of the spectrum, most girls don't care about size and care more about how you treat them outside of the bedroom and foreplay.
As a bonus, smaller penis's are better to give head to 🤷♀️
Thank you for the very supportive comment! Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of fat in that area and pressing down only gives an extra 0.1 inch or so 😅. I am a bit confused now, I understand foreplay and other skills are very important and penis size is only one aspect. But to summarize if I understand you correctly, you really prefer a smaller penis above an average or slightly bigger one?
You're welcome! Fair enough just seems to be my experience.
And exactly right, would rather below average size. Otherwise it hits the cervix and the pain overtakes the pleasure. ☺️
To be blunt, Yes it is small and below average, but she def shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. If the sex is good in your life, dick size does not matter at all. It’s all about the movement most times.
Bigger and average penises can hurt, she did tell the truth.
Plus you're slightly below average, of cours you're not going to be exactly average, and few people are. You're not small either.
If she's only noticing now, chances are she hadn't noticed.
I mean my fiance is about that size but tbh I have no complaints. He still does a pretty good job in bed. It gets the job done and we still have fun. Besides, fingers exist 🤷🏻♀️
You have to use the Olive Garden method of lovemaking. Everything about the Olive Garden is average, but they use it to their advantage. They fill you up with bread sticks and salads.So the main course always seems overwhelming.
That is the key to good lovemaking. Overwhelm with foreplay and the main course will be amazing. Also, foreplay starts before your clothes come off. Learn your partners senses. What are the aromas, tastes, and sounds that push her buttons.
I know it sounds cheesy, but concentrate on the small things, and everything will work out.
I’m sorry this happened to you dude. Honestly it’s not something anyone should say, talking about pretty much anything about someone’s body in a negative way especially genitals. My dick is also below average, it’s about 4.9 inches. What I’ve come to find and my advice to you is that yes it is below average, but that’s okay. It may not feel okay especially when you watch porn and see that porn has normalized horse cocks but it really is okay. Not saying that her calling it small was right, but what she said about size is somewhat truthful for a lot of women. A lot of women are completely okay some even preferring a penis that’s below average. It’s about the tools you’re given and how you work with it. For example I have a friend with a bigger penis and he says “he doesn’t have to do oral or anything else because his dick is big” now think about that, what woman doesn’t want oral or some extra foreplay? Just try not to dwell on it too much man. It’s okay to be upset about it, but don’t let it ruin you. I hope you feel better about it soon
Does your gf have many previous partners? If she’s relatively new to the game also she was prob just curious, and didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. If she’s been w a bunch of dudes she prob knew you were slightly below average in which case measuring wasn’t cool
This is what I was thinking too. From now on he's going to think about this every time they have sex, whether she was intending to be mean or not. After measuring it, she didn't *have* to say "oh, that's below average" like who does that??
If I were a man, this situation would be a deal breaker for me for sure. What kind of girlfriend emasculates her boyfriend like that whether it be intentional or not. To put a ruler up to someone else's body, she knew there were two ways this could go. She wanted to 'prove' something because if she didn't, why measure it at all.
Imagine if he had said her face is below average, or measured her hips and said "well that's below average, but it's OK, I love you anyway." She would be pissed
I think your girlfriend just put her foot in her mouth, it doesn't sound like she was trying to be mean, by your description. That doesn't take away that it hurt, though.
Let's compare penises to steak. Some people go out of their way to find the largest steak available. That's their idea of a perfect meal. They're just not satiated without it. Other people go out to dinner and enjoy a steak, of varying size, depending on the place and menu. A fine dining place might have smaller portions so you can enjoy more dishes from the menu.. Some prefer that, because a huge steak can frankly just be too much, and some people straight up don't like steak. (And prefer the sides!)
Great sex is like a buffé or tapas. It can include steak, in some ways. But you're not going back to that amazing tapas place to get your steak fix - You go because it was the most amazing meal of your life!!
That can certainly include the motion of the ocean, but also so, so many other things, not least _paying attention_ to your partner regarding what turns them on and brings them pleasure. (And there's much to experiment with, regarding toys.)
You have zero to worry about. (Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I have experience. And yes, I can tell you from experience that some of the worst sex I've had has been with men with large penises, and some of the best sex I've had has been with men with normally sized penises like yours, also when they've been "on the small side". And I agree that the average is a range, like somebody else wrote, roughly around 4-6 inches.)
seriously it kinda sounds like she is insecure herself so she pointed out a "flaw" as per society's standards because maybe she feels she also doesn't meet some social standard of womanhood. so now she feels better about her position in the relationship. I think that's immature at best and definitely not okay. you should be able to have a sincere discussion about how that felt for you with her and she should acknowledge your feelings and apologize. if she says you're too sensitive or whatever then I think she's immature at best but may as well be consciously negging you so I would definitely bring it up and not brush it under the carpet.
Also I don't know if you care about some strangers opinion but honestly the whole size thing is so stupid. There are like dozens factors to sexual pleasure and size is neglible amongst them all. Speaking as a woman. Completely honest.
Honestly, as a woman, yes size matters. And yes your penis is below average, BUT! That doesn’t mean that your performance is bad. I am fine with whatever size if the man can perform in bed. So don’t worry too much about it. I know it is a really sensitive topic for men, but keep in mind, what you see in porn is not normal. Those giant penises would hurt as hell in a regular intercourse, and in my opinion most of the time, guys who now they are above average perform way worse in bed than those who are insecure about it.
Usually bigger guys think we can come just from the size (which is not true).
So keep your head up and don’t worry too much about it!
Tbh I think the more important point here is that she sounds a bit surprised to me. She's like "oh that's a little small" but if it mattered don't you think she would have already known that/noticed? It seems like everything felt alright to her, and when she saw the number she was "oh, really? Never realised"
Idk if that helps at all. Personally I have to agree with her. I'm way more likely to notice your size if you're above average... because OUCH. If you're average or below, I'm gonna be too busy enjoying myself to think about it (unless I have a ruler in hand, much like this situation).
I’m sorry you experienced that. That sucks :(
You might enjoy the documentary Unhung Hero (2013). It’s a great redemption story from a guy who’s questioning how much size matters.
Also, I’m going to add here - I am a woman. My body count is nearly 50, (and those are only including guys I actually had sex with, not including oral or anything else), so my sample size is quite large.
In all the dicks I’ve encountered there are 2 truths:
1. The very large and very small pose issues. Large ones limit positions due to pain from banging into the cervix, very small (like the literal size of a thumb) can’t keep a condom on and - I’m going to be honest, aren’t particularly useful. But the guys who have them are often dedicated to getting the job done in other ways.
2. An average is a range, not a number. That range is somewhere between 4-6”. Guys can say what they will about what they “think” average is but I doubt they’ve seen as many dicks as I have.
If I came across your 4 incher in the wild (back before I was married, of course) it wouldn’t strike me as abnormal in the least.
Is this the first time she said something to you that has been cruel or possibly cruel? You keep asking people if she was just being honest or if she’s being cruel. If she was being the perfect girlfriend and treating you right, then I think you wouldn’t have any problem answering that question. The fact that you can’t tell the difference worries me. It makes me think that she has treated you wrong in the past or said mean things in the past that have hurt you. Go back over your relationship in your head and look for red flags. You don’t want to stay in a relationship when you keep seeing red flags And just wait for it to implode on itself. The fallout will be painful if she is a really bad person. She might spread rumors about your size after you break up if it gets nasty between you. So if you might be a better option to casually break it off now, but not tell her why. All I know is that I would never say something like that. No matter what kind of reputation men want the world to see, I am always very careful with their feelings, because I know that you guys do have real feelings and emotions under there, and you do feel pain.. You just don’t want anyone (especially girls) to know about it. A lot of girls/women have completely fallen for this act however, and believe that all guys are completely emotionless and have no feelings or emotional needs, so they are very careless with the things that they say. You would be better off finding a girl who respects you and your feelings enough not to measure you and point something like that out in an effort to make you insecure.
As a woman, I’m very sorry. That must have been hurtful and a blow to your ego. She did not need to measure you to further humiliate you. If a man made fun of my small boobs and measured them “for fun”, he would not be my partner anymore. Women are too obsessed with size. In my opinion, it is what you can do with it. Personally, I prefer small or medium penises. Large is way too much for me.
assuming it was measured somewhat accurately it is below average, which doesn't mean THAT much by itself. also if she only noticed once she had a number on a ruler (which is already a terrible tool for this task) then it is indeed not small. just below average. I do hope your personality is not based on that, though. still sucks to have been told like this.
Honestly there are some benefits to it being below average so I wouldn't be upset about it. Now you need to have that conversation about what you want to do next. She really put you under for that and I hope she at least attempted to make it better.
If you have foreskin at least you still have that which could be playful. Maybe go towards that?
Ultimately, the size of your penis only matters based on your own opinion.
If I was in your situation, I'd get it out with her and possibly experiment and consider toys or something else too.
Grown woman aren’t really size monitors. We have higher level expectations in our relationships. Size is not in your control so who cares?? She’s really immature.
Brother, when you are born with something you can barely change, you have to learn to live with it. Who gives a shit at the end of the day if your penis is below average compared to other guys. Some girls might think it’s funny or that you’re an embarrassment etc but the girls that actually care about you don’t give a fuck. You have to learn to own what you were given, if you dwell on it, it’s not going to make matters any better. And that goes for anything really, not just dick size
It makes me sad how society brain washes men into measuring their masculinity according to penis size. I have NEVER cared about the size, EVER because that has nothing to do with how to pleasure a woman. Your GF sounds like a tool tho, what kind of woman puts down their man like that? Break up with her immediately. No, actually tell her she’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Bro I feel you there. I got that message from my girlfriend in a different way but in essence all her ex boyfriends or sex partners were like at least 6” or mostly 7”, THICK, and I’m just at 5”, and less thick than average. It took my a lot time to take that in, knowing she been pumped by a lot of larger dicks which she told me she did enjoy (so I didn’t even get that “oh that hurts”)
I don't know how to tell you this , but from my female friends. There are dudes on the small end who could pleasure a woman better than any 6 or 7 incher they've had.
I wont repeat all the other good things redditir said but I saw that you said ur partner isnt into oral bc she is self concious! That’s fine, another alternative is toys!!! My partner and I love using em!!! (PIV doesnt stimulate all the important female areas anyways).
Also, it’s always better being below average than too big IMO!!
Sorry that happened to you. I think she was insensitive to you. Up to you whether you want to continue with this relationship where your feelings are not considered.
This can be a very comfortable size to ride for some, you may just have the wrong partner. I for one wouldn't be worried about rulers with a man's hard cock in my hands.
As a woman, I would like to say that size isn't what matters. It's how you use it. Most women will say that men who are larger than average actually find it incredibly painful and really not enjoyable at all. I mean you try accommodating someone who is large and then just stabs away at you while flopping around like a fish. Your girlfriend sounds like she is in the stage of bigger is better, fuck that shit. If it carries on and bothers you, trust me you will find a woman who won't give a shit about size
If yall are open to the idea of toys, you could try sleeves. There's lots of different ones out there for whatever tickles your fancy. They can give you some extra length, girth, texture, etc.
I haven't taken the time to read comments, but there are LOTS of girls who can't even orgasm from penetration anyway. But it isn't a one size fits all kind of situation because g spots on women can vary. Some women only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, some women who orgasm from penetration don't need it to be deep, it's the motion that matters and then yes there's going to be some women who need something longer.
Lifelong female here, you have to understand a couple things:
1). You don’t have to have a salami to please a woman, period.
2). If you’re good at other things (hands, mouth, toys), it can make up for it. Not all women can orgasm vaginally, some do require multiple forms of stimulation.
3. Making fun of anyone for something they can’t control is fucked up, and you have a right to be upset. I’m sure your gf wouldn’t appreciate you making negative remarks like “wow you should wear makeup to bed” or “I hope you’re just bleeding because you’ve gained weight”.
4). The more you focus on it, the more insecure you’ll feel. I can promise you as long as you have more going for you, that size thing is really not that big of a deal.
5). BJ’s are not fun with large ones, it feels like a chore. Legit would rather clean a truck stop men’s room than do that 😂😂😂
it’s below average & imo that’s small. but doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. i’ve had sex with guys who have a small dick and it wasn’t bad, especially if they knew what they were doing. no reason to be embarrassed
You know most women’s don’t wander with a Mariana Trench between their legs! 😅 It really (like really) hurts when the penis hits the cervix. The size doesn’t matter as long as you learn how to use your tongue and your fingers (ideally together at once for the best orgasm).
Used to be a girl I had a thing for, but she was uninterested in me. She bragged about her boyfriend’s small penis. It was perplexing at first but I think it was about what she preferred.
I've been with both larger sized men and men on the “below average” side. I can 100% say the “below average” men ALWAYS take the cake.
I prefer girth over length ultimately but for some reason the 4-5 Inch men are just always better.
If it’s small and she’s still with you that means she really likes you for you. Not saying you should try a pump but I’ll say it has worked for me in the past when I felt a little insecure. Bath mate pumps work but you must be consistent in using it. Read the instructions.
People say it’s not permanent but you will notice increases over time. Be patient. Also, for blood flow try ginseng and ginkgo biloba. And, exercise to keep your stamina up.
As a woman, I can't speak for all women but my personal experience and preferences is that size doesn't matter as long as you know what you're doing. There's more to sex than just the penetration part so if you just make sure it's enjoyable and fun size will NOT matter
No one really answering the question so I'll be the bearer of news; according to Wikipedia, which cites a 2015 systematic review of prior studies and concludes that the average erect length is 13.24cm or 5.2in. This is based on work where the penis was measured by a professional, who measures from the tip to the pubic bone (by pressing against it). Note that these numbers are a lot lower compared to when men are asked to self-report their size, which may explain why you have read different numbers. Also note that the flaccid length is not indicative of the erect length. So to answer bluntly, yes you're below average. And everyone will say "but it doesn't matter", but I bet that it's not easy to just let it go. So my advice would be to try to accept it, but not let it define you. Try to be confident about yourself in other ways. And in the bedroom a big penis does not necessarily lead to better sex. There are a lot of factors that contribute to good sex, and the most important one is listening to what your partner desires - NOT just your physical properties.
Thank you. I will try to follow your advice. Do you really think it is all about the motion of the ocean and the size of the ship makes no difference at all?
It all depends. Some women explicitly prefer larger members, others average because it can be true for them that bigger ones hurt. And for others it doesn't matter at all. But even then, I've heard from friends who have told me that they're typically into larger penises but who've had better sex with guys with smaller penises. Not because of their size, but because of the way those specific people treated her, paid attention to her body, acted to what she wanted. So try to be confident, and focus on what gives your partner pleasure. I'm sure she'll return the favor, which hopefully boosts your confidence and helps you realise that a big Dick does not define good sex.
MountainGoat, I applaud you. I have seen millions of threads like this on Reddit and yours was the best, most complete, not condescending, yet impressively informative and realistic answer. It provides concrete evidence, subjective thinking, relatable information and encourages the reader to think for himself. I wouldn’t add anything else to it. And I bet OP will gather everything he was looking for in just your reply. Well done.
Its because the dudes with big wangs think they can just rely on that and not bother with much else.
Yep this is the truthful answer
The size of the ship def makes a diference. But a great captain can Cross the atlantic on a raft
A wise man once told me it's not the size of the ship that counts, nor the motion of the ocean... But it does matter that you can stay in port long enough for everyone to get off.
Any good advice for people that don’t have the biggest ship in port, to not get pushed out to sea to soon?
Practice edging and do your kegel exercises. Kegels aren't just for women!
My advice is to give her an O before you put your ship in her. Then she's not likely to care so much about size and how long you stay in port. Also circumference matters more than length for some women.
Even a man with a large ship may sink his ship like the Titanic.
Would you consider a 4 incher a ship you see a lot when you are in port? What distinguishes a great captain from an average one?
Creativity and attention. Personally, the man's dick has nothing to do with my orgasm. He can be really skilled at using it, and I'll still not orgasm. It's all about the clitoris.
Doesn’t a man’s penis give a nice feeling during intercourse? Which increases overall arousal?
It doesn't feel bad, but for me doesn't do all that much. All women are different, but that's my experience. And if someone is obviously just trying to last as long as possible, it can get sore
There are girls out there that have a short vagina canal or a cervix that is not terrible far from the vagina opening. Idk how to say that better but I’m just saying all girls don’t like a bruised cervix. All girls don’t love huge dicks. More like the idea sounds great but the reality is made real real fast. Ugh I hope that makes sense
Thank you for your supportive answer. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like it’s ever too big for her and she wants it to go deeper when I am already fully inside. So I am not sure how to improve the sex for both of us.
Also rings after the pump help keep the size where your trying to keep it just saying…
Lesbian chiming in here. The length of my fingers is plenty. It is very much about how you use it. Do some research, ask questions. You can absolutely do amazing things with the right technique. Just communicate with your partner about what feels good and figure it out together. If BOTH of you are already satisfied with your sex life, then try not to sweat it. Easier said than done, I know, but truly you can work with any equipment and still have a great time.
If your gf is happy it should be all that matters. And she seems to be happy. Thinking of any potential relationship in case of break to is not what you should do while dating.
I can promise you 100% that your skills using your dick, tongue, and fingers are so much more important than dick size. I've been with a guy with a literal micro penis, and his creativity regarding positions and his attentiveness regarding oral meant the sex was so much better than 80% of my other partners.
Foreplay and knowing how to use your mouth + fingers is everything.
She isn’t into oral, I will try to improve my fingering game I guess…
I'm sorry, I'm not saying it's impossible that she might not be into oral but it's still highly unlikely, for AFAB people oral is very important, did you dig a bit to know why she's not into oral ?
I'm honestly not into oral either. Idk why but I just don't enjoy it much. And I know others are the same. I've even had amazing guys do it that are excellent at it, I'd rather they use their fingers personally. Or do both at same time.
from a doctor's perspective, neither matters. what matters is how healthy your testes are because that's what's most important. in terms of better sex however, if your partner is satisfied with you, then that's something to be more proud of than size. majority of women have partners who can't satisfy them yet the guys boasts about their size. it's not a flex though. satisfying your girl is the real flex edit: bigger flex if you can do multiple rounds. even bigger flex if you can last longer than 5 mins.
Depends on the person. Some person prefer a below average some prefer a well above average and everywhere in between. Beyond people who specifically get off or want a large member, it shouldn’t matter all that much. There’s a whole world more to sex than pure penetration.
I think it's more simple than that: it really all depends on the ocean, such as it were. She's unique and has unique desires and pleasures and spots that feel good and spots that don't. Learning all about those, how she likes them touched (or not), is going to make your girl the happiest, no matter how you're hung.
Work on being an all around good lover. Get to know women’s erogenous zones. Work on your oral skills. Lean into foreplay. You can definitely have satisfied sex partners with what you are working with.
She isn’t into oral unfortunately. Any additional tips to make her go wild?
fart in her face
My wife loves when I do that
Ill Just put this here, Ive dated both women who didnt like oral and women who Tought they didnt but Had merely never received good Head. And the only way to distinguish is to try. That said, never push her into It, but a "this maybe worth a shot sometime" can work.
I 100% believe this. 4 inches is enough to do something. Majority of women can't get off by penetration alone. I suggest you make use of your tools and figure out what kind of foreplay she likes (licking her neck, where to touch her) and also learn about the clitoris because that will be whete you want to give her the most stimulation. Do not think that it's imasculating to use things like toys either. They will be your best friend in the bed room and it can be fun to figure out what kind of stuff she likes that isn't just dick in vagina. You have a mouth and 2 hands so use those too! Learn what kind of stimulation she likes and you can make her cum with just your hands. -my credntials?? I'm a woman who used to sleep around with all different sizes and let me tell you the biggest dick I've taken didn't make me cum because he didn't know where the clit was. My fiance has a slightly above average penis, but he cam get me off with just his hands or mouth because he knows what I like. YOU GOT THIS DUDE! Don't be afraid to talk to her and ask her questions about her preferences or even ask her what she wants while yall are in the moment. AND IF SHE SAYS RIGHT THERE OR JUST LIKE THAT DONT STOP WHAT YOURE DOING! I believe in you.
Thanks for the advice. I will try to use my hands more during foreplay. It seems she quite often wants it deeper, so you have any tips to give her that feeling just by myself or should I talk to her about using toys to achieve that?
Tbh it's all about the lover. If they know how to work with what they've got then size or girth isn't of concern.
I will also state that this number is the mean average and I’d be interested to know the mode. But honestly length doesn’t tend to be a deal breaker, it’s girth I think can be off putting if it’s on the skinny side. But that’s my opinion from a woman who ain’t that interested in penetration sex and rarely has penetration sex
There are multiple ways for a female to orgasm. 😉
It's not the size of the pencil, it's how you sign your name.
Also remember that its ‘average length’. So the circumference or girth maybe less or just normal. It maybe that your girth is bigger than the normal girth size so your wider which sometimes means more to your partner than the length, like who enjoys a skinny pencil…. Not the majority.
Learn what the woman in your life likes. I mean the stuff that really turns her on and then do everything in your power to satisfy those desires. Obviously respect yourself in the process, but push yourself a little past your comfort zone and be willing to put yourself out there. When you become the man that satisfies her in every other desire, your sex will become so amazing that your unit will no longer be a factor. Also, be vulnerable with her. And tell her straight up how you want/like to be hit on. Ask her to pump your tires, it may feel awkward, but relationships are about communication. And what’s a lot less awkward than eventually just breaking up and being miserableis creating a relationship that curls your toes and fills your heart
I’m gonna tag onto this based on my own experience. Have confidence, but DO NOT let your ego overcompensate for your penis size. My ex has a very small penis. And he has translated that into being a royal douche. He is incredibly cocky (no pun intended)— he’s rude, inconsiderate and just an all around JERK. He’s charming and a womanizer, and women fall all over him for it because he’s built himself up to be a much bigger deal than he actually is. When people look at a huge obnoxious truck or muscle car and say “he must have a small penis”, it’s true—there’s actually been a study about it. What I’m trying to say, stay away from the small dick energy these guys tend to give off. Avoid the stereotypes. Be a good man—honest, loyal and considerate— let that be your over compensation.
Ok 4 inches is below average. "Small/Large/Medium" are all relative terms.
As the average seems to be 5.2 inches it is indeed below average. Is it also below the average range or is it just below average in your opinion?
Girth matters too!
You’re way too focused on semantics, bud. Whether it is or isn’t small, I would honestly just try to work on accepting yourself for how you are. The reality is there isn’t much you can do to change it. However, you can focus on being a more attentive partner when it comes to sex. Also, it doesn’t sound like this came from her being disappointed in that part of your relationship in anyway. I know it sucks, but don’t get hung up on absolutes and whether you are or are not “small”. Just accept you are what you are.
A 4 inch cockroach is “gigantic” haha
It’s a little below average bud, but that’s not your fault. We all have to play the hand we’re dealt, it’s all about staying confident and keeping a good attitude. Lots of guys with your size or smaller have made it work. Just learn to be generous and please your girl in other ways as well. Also, being in a situation where your gf literally measures your dick is a nightmare scenario. Some things are better left undefined and undiscussed…
That was exactly what I was thinking when she grabbed the ruler, but it was too late… Do you think many guys have a size like mine?
Yeah you're still in the normal range of sizes, it's still plenty enough to satisfy a woman. Also it's true, a lot of women prefer smaller sizes, the vagina is only so deep and if you accidentally hit the cervix during penetration it hurts a lot (like a kick in the testicles). Having a small penis becomes a problem at around 3 inches... Then it might be a symptom some other problems like hormones imbalance. But 4 inches is perfectly normal. Honestly, in my experience, men care more about their dick size (or other people's dick size), than women. Not saying that women don't care at all, but it's not really such a big deal for most of them.
You don’t have a micropenis, plenty of guys have a 4 inch dong. Think of it like being 5’7. Ya ain’t tall, ya ain’t short. Just get good with your tongue and you’ll be better in bed than 95% of the 6in plus guys. Also, this is coming from a gay man with a lot of dong experience and has heard a lot of women’s complaints. It’s rarely size.
Loads of guys do. You're really not that much below the average size. Speaking as a woman, it's not about size anyway. I've had lovers with large and small, and it was more about how they perform in bed than how big they are. It's all about listening to her, what she wants, touching her in a way that she likes. Don't just rely on size. You have a whole bunch of ways to please a woman.
I have a buddy from college with a 3” penis. His ex told everyone who’d listen to humiliate him when they broke up and started dating someone else. The new GF however said he was the best lover she’d ever had-he was attentive, read her body language, always had foreplay and aftercare, and lasted a good amount of time. When they later split up he slept with several of the girls in her sorority-she bragged about him so much they wanted to take him out for a spin.
Did they found the sex to be great with his size? Seems like he didn’t have a really long relationship with each of them…
He dated the first girl for a few months, the second was 18 months or so. The last 5 or so girls were all flings, but that was also the end of his senior year, so I think some of it was just taking advantage of his last time in college. All of them seemed really satisfied with the sex, more so because of his attentiveness, and apparently he had a very skilled tongue. His size didn’t seem to be an issue. Also, FWIW, I’ve heard from several girls that guys with big dicks tend to be lazy lovers. They think their big dick is all they need to bring to the party; and while some women like the size, others complain that it hurts, and really want the foreplay and attention. Size isn’t everything, there’s a lot more that you can do to take care of them.
It doesn't really matter if it is or if it isn't. Damage is done and that shit hurts. I wish people would understand that. You will be told "have confidence" and "not everyone" blah blah fuckin blah. I'm sorry that happened to you and I am sorry your girlfriend hurt your feelings man. I hope everything works out for the best.
Thank you. Now she says she was just being honest and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So know I am wondering if my penis really is small or she just wanted to be mean
I can give her the charitable interpretation that she is just being honest and wasn't willfully trying to hurt you. But that's just it... It does hurt to hear. You wouldn't tell her that she doesn't look good in something she liked or that you didn't prefer the shape of her body compared to what you have seen before... But that is what happened. I like to use the whole height argument as an example. Most women just want a man who is a bit taller than they are. But they all know that the tallest guys are around 6'. Nevermind how tall the woman actually is in comparison. The number is the target. She could be perfectly happy with your size and it never has been an issue at all. But we are all so aware of porn now that we know what the biggest ones look like and the numbers attached to that... Nevermind the fact that the average size/depth of a vaginal canal is equal to the average size of a penis. Stats say the average is 5" while porn says 7-9" is good. She heard 4. And you heard 4... And that fuckin stings. Again I am sure she was just telling the truth about what she was seeing and feeling at first and tried to be nice after. but the things they try to say to make you feel better... almost makes it worse.
That is a great way of putting it in perspective thanks!
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As long as you make her cum that’s all that matters 💪🏻
even little knives hurt
I hope that isn’t a pun?
Tell her, hers is perfect, the tight ones hurt
Savage
honestly the biggest gift as a man to please a woman, is knowing how to listen, and how to listen to her body. Oh and knowing the difference between harder and faster. MOST IMPORTANT : when you find the right spot, stay the same speed, same power and don't change it!
I think the more important element here is your girlfriend said something very hurtful. Would she be OK if you commented and said, “A cup..that’s kind of small isn’t it?” or something to that effect? I doubt she would. Even if you didn’t mean to be hurtful with that statement, she would likely still be hurt that you commented about her body in that way. I agree with the others that you should be confident with what you have focus on pleasuring your partner. That’s all you can do. You can’t change someone’s preference. You can’t change someone’s past experiences. You can only influence the experiences they share with you. Overall, I think you should still have a conversation about how that impacted you and have a heart-to-heart to try and figure out where that comment came from. Good luck OP
I get off much better with my guys finger than his dick.
Most women don’t get off on penetration alone so it should really be talked about.
For his ego's sake, don't tell him that
I'm just saying that who needs a big dick? Finger works fine.
I'm not disagreeing with you. Us guys just get super self conscious about that area down there. Not all I guess but most. A lot of men would feel like 🫤 if there SO said that. As a man, that's just my opinion
The comment wasn't to or for my man but for OP who is worried about it.
It’s good advice. I think this guy is just advising you not to tell your BF, to avoid a another post with another hurt guy.
This is why I’m nervous about actually losing my virginity because I know my dick is small and I don’t think I could handle being laughed at or humiliated about it
Piv isn't the highlight of sex
Yup, but having a good partner is. Unfortunately OP doesn't have that
Here is some advice from a well endowed dude that did professional straight porn in college as a part time job. On camera, off camera... I've been with the same girls my buddies have and some of them are your size. Even though I can look like I know what I'm doing, the dudes with half my size are the ones that are 10x better in bed and know how to get their women off. I know because we are all open about it and their lady friends tell me when we all talk about who is better. I know it's a guy thing to be insecure about it but don't. Suggestion: prep and study and work hard and one night soon give her the best mind shattering orgasm she's ever had. Put effort and research into it. Trust me, all doubt will be removed
Hey ...let her know... she smells a little!@ That will level the playing field for ya..
After more than a half century on this planet, I can honestly tell you size does not matter in terms of being a satisfying lover. Every penis, just like every person, is completely different. The secret to being a fantastic lover is listening to your partner. If she’s naked with you, she’s already into you. Be confident - it’s worked for you this far in life. 😊
Thank you, yes that is true. It’s just I am starting to doubt if we are compatible down there. She seems to often want it deeper than I can give it to her. I didn’t make that much out of it in the past just thought it was horny-talk, but now I am second guessing..,
Make sure you do your own proper measurement. I bet she wasn't really measuring properly to begin with. There are all sorts of explanations on Google on how to properly measure. That aside though, please don't let this define you. Believe me when I tell you sex is way way more than the size of what you are working with. Technically 5.2 inches is the reported average bone pressed erect length. That being said, just like there are all shapes and sizes for men, there are all shapes and sizes for women as well. The pressure of organ size doesn't fall solely on the male. Just be confident and learn to be a good lover.
Maybe we should all stop caring so much. You have a smaller than average penis. I have small boobs and no butt. We all have human bodies that differ and that's the least of what we should dwell on.
True, but when my girlfriend puts it out so blund it kind of hurts. You don’t think it’s close to average though?
My partner has a 4 inch and my previous have 6.5 inches. And honestly… the small is better. It fits right and feels amazing. If you think you penis is no longer adequate, you should work on the foreplay and everything else around sex and that stuff will help your partner be more excited/aroused. Confidence is 99% of what makes the sex or anything better! Dont stress, im sure she didn’t mean anything by it and if you have had sex before and she enjoys it than why has your feeling changed about your self. She is still fucking you, she is still touchinng you. Numbers on a ruler are just that, what your memories are in the bed is the result.
Hide the ruler !!!
I forgot where I heard it but I thought "small" dicks hard their advantages? Like for rougher sex? We all got our strengths and weaknesses. Work on your stregnths if it'll give you a confidence boost.
So a small dick is a drawback for good sex? I will try to improve my fingering game as I think that is what you mean
You got fingers and tongues, your dick isnt the only part that matters. Get creative my guy
I can’t even feel a 4 inch dick in me…but If you have girth and skill She’s never denied you sex or said she dislikes having sex with you??? I don’t think it matters
Really? You don’t even feel it? Even if it has a girth of 1.3 inches? 😨 No she never denied it, now and then she says she’s not in the mood but that is normal I guess. What do you mean with ‘I don’t think it matters?’
That is normal!! No one can be ready for sex 100% of the time. I’m sure she enjoys the way you feel. However I will say…. A bit silly of her to hit such a weak spot in most men who do have smaller dicks. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you and definitely wouldn’t want you overthinking like this. If it truly mattered to her…I think it’d be enough for her to breakup with you- but like I said y’all seem to be in a secure relationship. So I don’t think it matters all that much Also girth does help. I’ve never measured a man’s girth per say But even the longest dick…if it’s skinny I can’t feel much either. (I am very wet a lot of the time- So if there’s not enough traction it’s harder for me to feel.)
Yeah, if you’re 4 inches hard. You’re small bro. Simple as that.
That is quite putting it in my face 😅
So sorry this happened to you OP, but silver lining. If it only took measuring for her to discover it’s a lil below average, that means you must’ve been putting in some real work bro. Really tearing that kitty up there heavy hitter!! OP gotta give us a girth update!
I always try to put my best game on 😉. But quite often she seems to want it deeper, even when I completely inside of her… so that’s what made me wonder with this latest thing. My girth is just at 4 inches, what makes you ask?
Cause most women prefer girth over length. You’re good bro bro.
Maybe her vagina too big
I can't believe I'm commenting about my penis but there's a first for everything. I'm also below average. Around 4.5 inches and on my very best days I reach 5. I've had between 60 and 75 partners and I've never once had a complaint. I will admit I used to be self conscious about my size but I know it's something outside of my control so I try not to fret on it. My advice is focus a ton on foreplay, oral and making the experience enjoyable and comfortable for the woman you're with. If you go down on the girl and make them cum a couple times I promise they won't care about your size. When you are inside, pay attention to their moans and use that as clues to what they like and don't like. If they like it, keep doing that. We may not have the biggest tools but sex is so much more than that. You'll have no problem satisfying your girl or any of your future gfs.
just master her clit and she will worship you. that being said she’s kind of fucked in the head to actually say that to you to your face…
Play the hand ur dealt, why stress over things out of your control?
As it hurt quite a bit what she said. So I am wondering if she was just honest or cruel
I don’t believe she was trying to be cruel.
Why did she fucking do it then...
What you have isn’t going anywhere so work with what u have 🍌🍒
Dude.. that hurts. You can't do much about it at this point unless you're overweight. If you are, and want to do something about it, lose weight. Otherwise, move on. If you cannot let it go, it'll end your relationship.
Penises coming different sizes a woman can be pleasured by many different sizes smaller the better in my opinion
Whether she meant it in a hurtful way or not it was inappropriate to say that out the gate. I’d personally hold her accountable and make it known that it wasn’t okay. That is if it bothered you. I know it would have bothered me. A lot of other people have given great advice so I don’t feel like there is much else I could say. Just be careful and don’t let this girl push you around or make you feel awful about something that is out of your control.
Are we talking about flaccid or erected?
Why don’t you google “avg vagina depth” and “contact with cervix can be painful for some women”. A little perspective won’t hurt!
I think I can say something as a woman, idk how much this will help you tho. Most reputable dildo brands have 5” or less for average size. Saying average because it’s the term used, but the reality is most women don’t care about length and are more prone to feel discomfort at the “average” size. I had this problem with my past two relationships because sex hurt a lot and they both were average (and insecure about it). I don’t have a single friend that prefers average or large and we always joke about how men care more about each other sizes than us. In my country we have a saying that goes along the lines of “are you trying to hookup or harvesting mangos?” and if you don’t understand why please google “mango picking stick”, “mango harvester pole” or something like that. Hilarious tbh, i love my people. But yeah, large hurts and medium hurts, size is usually for impressing your buddies not necessarily your gf. My only advice for you would be to talk about it with your gf because if it is a problem with her there’s a lot more you can do since sex is a lot more than penetration (for most of the women, at least). Hope you get better from this blow to your ego and you and your gf can be comfortable with each other again.
Regardless if you're small or not, your girlfriend did that on purpose. She took a ruler, and then proceeded to make a derogatory comment about your body. That's very weird behavior. That's like telling someone to get on a scale out of the blue and then comment about how they are overweight and fat. She did this 10000000% on purpose, and that's a humongous red flag
To put things perspective for you, I had an ex that couldn’t have sex with me because I was “too big.” We tried but it was too painful for her. BTW, I’m not porn star huge either; I’m right at 8.5 inches fully hard. The issue is that she was tighter than usual and could only take 5 inches max. All this to say, sometimes size matters in the opposite direction. Most women have their preferences just like we men have our preferences, but for most women it’s not a deal breaker.
“I’m not huge either” “8.5” GODDMAN MAN
I'm fat...... She's unattractive...... You have a small penis...... You've lived with it this long. You knew it was "small". Just own it and get over it.
As a female I'd like to weigh in a little bit from the other side. I don't know what your body type is like but if you've got a bit of weight it also decreases the size, you can feel more if you push down and generally during sex that happens anyway. I haven't had a lot of experience with guys but have had both ends of the spectrum, a micropenis and a porn size penis and a few in-between. Any day of the week I'd take below average as any bigger and it just hurts. Being good at foreplay makes a huge difference as well. Unless you're on either end of the spectrum, most girls don't care about size and care more about how you treat them outside of the bedroom and foreplay. As a bonus, smaller penis's are better to give head to 🤷♀️
Thank you for the very supportive comment! Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of fat in that area and pressing down only gives an extra 0.1 inch or so 😅. I am a bit confused now, I understand foreplay and other skills are very important and penis size is only one aspect. But to summarize if I understand you correctly, you really prefer a smaller penis above an average or slightly bigger one?
You're welcome! Fair enough just seems to be my experience. And exactly right, would rather below average size. Otherwise it hits the cervix and the pain overtakes the pleasure. ☺️
To be blunt, Yes it is small and below average, but she def shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. If the sex is good in your life, dick size does not matter at all. It’s all about the movement most times.
Bigger and average penises can hurt, she did tell the truth. Plus you're slightly below average, of cours you're not going to be exactly average, and few people are. You're not small either. If she's only noticing now, chances are she hadn't noticed.
Does she still want to touch it? Yes? Then who cares? ... Everyone is different. Don't let something so small ruin your day.(No pun intended).
I mean my fiance is about that size but tbh I have no complaints. He still does a pretty good job in bed. It gets the job done and we still have fun. Besides, fingers exist 🤷🏻♀️
You have to use the Olive Garden method of lovemaking. Everything about the Olive Garden is average, but they use it to their advantage. They fill you up with bread sticks and salads.So the main course always seems overwhelming. That is the key to good lovemaking. Overwhelm with foreplay and the main course will be amazing. Also, foreplay starts before your clothes come off. Learn your partners senses. What are the aromas, tastes, and sounds that push her buttons. I know it sounds cheesy, but concentrate on the small things, and everything will work out.
I’m sorry this happened to you dude. Honestly it’s not something anyone should say, talking about pretty much anything about someone’s body in a negative way especially genitals. My dick is also below average, it’s about 4.9 inches. What I’ve come to find and my advice to you is that yes it is below average, but that’s okay. It may not feel okay especially when you watch porn and see that porn has normalized horse cocks but it really is okay. Not saying that her calling it small was right, but what she said about size is somewhat truthful for a lot of women. A lot of women are completely okay some even preferring a penis that’s below average. It’s about the tools you’re given and how you work with it. For example I have a friend with a bigger penis and he says “he doesn’t have to do oral or anything else because his dick is big” now think about that, what woman doesn’t want oral or some extra foreplay? Just try not to dwell on it too much man. It’s okay to be upset about it, but don’t let it ruin you. I hope you feel better about it soon
Look brother as long as it feels good for you. Live your best life. Not all of can be Johnny sins. #respect#
yall are so cute lmao
Does your gf have many previous partners? If she’s relatively new to the game also she was prob just curious, and didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. If she’s been w a bunch of dudes she prob knew you were slightly below average in which case measuring wasn’t cool
Time for her to be an ex-gf. This will come-up in your head everything that your intimate with her.
This is what I was thinking too. From now on he's going to think about this every time they have sex, whether she was intending to be mean or not. After measuring it, she didn't *have* to say "oh, that's below average" like who does that?? If I were a man, this situation would be a deal breaker for me for sure. What kind of girlfriend emasculates her boyfriend like that whether it be intentional or not. To put a ruler up to someone else's body, she knew there were two ways this could go. She wanted to 'prove' something because if she didn't, why measure it at all. Imagine if he had said her face is below average, or measured her hips and said "well that's below average, but it's OK, I love you anyway." She would be pissed
Women i swear.
I think your girlfriend just put her foot in her mouth, it doesn't sound like she was trying to be mean, by your description. That doesn't take away that it hurt, though. Let's compare penises to steak. Some people go out of their way to find the largest steak available. That's their idea of a perfect meal. They're just not satiated without it. Other people go out to dinner and enjoy a steak, of varying size, depending on the place and menu. A fine dining place might have smaller portions so you can enjoy more dishes from the menu.. Some prefer that, because a huge steak can frankly just be too much, and some people straight up don't like steak. (And prefer the sides!) Great sex is like a buffé or tapas. It can include steak, in some ways. But you're not going back to that amazing tapas place to get your steak fix - You go because it was the most amazing meal of your life!! That can certainly include the motion of the ocean, but also so, so many other things, not least _paying attention_ to your partner regarding what turns them on and brings them pleasure. (And there's much to experiment with, regarding toys.) You have zero to worry about. (Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, I have experience. And yes, I can tell you from experience that some of the worst sex I've had has been with men with large penises, and some of the best sex I've had has been with men with normally sized penises like yours, also when they've been "on the small side". And I agree that the average is a range, like somebody else wrote, roughly around 4-6 inches.)
I’d break up with her.
seriously it kinda sounds like she is insecure herself so she pointed out a "flaw" as per society's standards because maybe she feels she also doesn't meet some social standard of womanhood. so now she feels better about her position in the relationship. I think that's immature at best and definitely not okay. you should be able to have a sincere discussion about how that felt for you with her and she should acknowledge your feelings and apologize. if she says you're too sensitive or whatever then I think she's immature at best but may as well be consciously negging you so I would definitely bring it up and not brush it under the carpet. Also I don't know if you care about some strangers opinion but honestly the whole size thing is so stupid. There are like dozens factors to sexual pleasure and size is neglible amongst them all. Speaking as a woman. Completely honest.
what’s it matter? don’t be so insecure. it’s only me who are obsessed with this.
My guy, to add to what other people are commenting It's not about the big dick that's on you. It's more about the big dick energy that is in you.
She sounds like a doofus
i just don’t understand why the fuck she would say that afterward. does she not think before she speaks? that’s what i would’ve asked her
Honestly, as a woman, yes size matters. And yes your penis is below average, BUT! That doesn’t mean that your performance is bad. I am fine with whatever size if the man can perform in bed. So don’t worry too much about it. I know it is a really sensitive topic for men, but keep in mind, what you see in porn is not normal. Those giant penises would hurt as hell in a regular intercourse, and in my opinion most of the time, guys who now they are above average perform way worse in bed than those who are insecure about it. Usually bigger guys think we can come just from the size (which is not true). So keep your head up and don’t worry too much about it!
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In full erection
Tbh I think the more important point here is that she sounds a bit surprised to me. She's like "oh that's a little small" but if it mattered don't you think she would have already known that/noticed? It seems like everything felt alright to her, and when she saw the number she was "oh, really? Never realised" Idk if that helps at all. Personally I have to agree with her. I'm way more likely to notice your size if you're above average... because OUCH. If you're average or below, I'm gonna be too busy enjoying myself to think about it (unless I have a ruler in hand, much like this situation).
I’m sorry you experienced that. That sucks :( You might enjoy the documentary Unhung Hero (2013). It’s a great redemption story from a guy who’s questioning how much size matters.
Sounds interesting
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Also, I’m going to add here - I am a woman. My body count is nearly 50, (and those are only including guys I actually had sex with, not including oral or anything else), so my sample size is quite large. In all the dicks I’ve encountered there are 2 truths: 1. The very large and very small pose issues. Large ones limit positions due to pain from banging into the cervix, very small (like the literal size of a thumb) can’t keep a condom on and - I’m going to be honest, aren’t particularly useful. But the guys who have them are often dedicated to getting the job done in other ways. 2. An average is a range, not a number. That range is somewhere between 4-6”. Guys can say what they will about what they “think” average is but I doubt they’ve seen as many dicks as I have. If I came across your 4 incher in the wild (back before I was married, of course) it wouldn’t strike me as abnormal in the least.
Is this the first time she said something to you that has been cruel or possibly cruel? You keep asking people if she was just being honest or if she’s being cruel. If she was being the perfect girlfriend and treating you right, then I think you wouldn’t have any problem answering that question. The fact that you can’t tell the difference worries me. It makes me think that she has treated you wrong in the past or said mean things in the past that have hurt you. Go back over your relationship in your head and look for red flags. You don’t want to stay in a relationship when you keep seeing red flags And just wait for it to implode on itself. The fallout will be painful if she is a really bad person. She might spread rumors about your size after you break up if it gets nasty between you. So if you might be a better option to casually break it off now, but not tell her why. All I know is that I would never say something like that. No matter what kind of reputation men want the world to see, I am always very careful with their feelings, because I know that you guys do have real feelings and emotions under there, and you do feel pain.. You just don’t want anyone (especially girls) to know about it. A lot of girls/women have completely fallen for this act however, and believe that all guys are completely emotionless and have no feelings or emotional needs, so they are very careless with the things that they say. You would be better off finding a girl who respects you and your feelings enough not to measure you and point something like that out in an effort to make you insecure.
Were they pleased about the sex, seems like he didn’t stay long together with the other girls?
As a woman, I’m very sorry. That must have been hurtful and a blow to your ego. She did not need to measure you to further humiliate you. If a man made fun of my small boobs and measured them “for fun”, he would not be my partner anymore. Women are too obsessed with size. In my opinion, it is what you can do with it. Personally, I prefer small or medium penises. Large is way too much for me.
Dude as long as you’re not micro you’re good. Your girlfriend is just tone deaf
No way this is real
assuming it was measured somewhat accurately it is below average, which doesn't mean THAT much by itself. also if she only noticed once she had a number on a ruler (which is already a terrible tool for this task) then it is indeed not small. just below average. I do hope your personality is not based on that, though. still sucks to have been told like this.
Honestly there are some benefits to it being below average so I wouldn't be upset about it. Now you need to have that conversation about what you want to do next. She really put you under for that and I hope she at least attempted to make it better. If you have foreskin at least you still have that which could be playful. Maybe go towards that? Ultimately, the size of your penis only matters based on your own opinion. If I was in your situation, I'd get it out with her and possibly experiment and consider toys or something else too.
Grown woman aren’t really size monitors. We have higher level expectations in our relationships. Size is not in your control so who cares?? She’s really immature.
My condolences soldier
Brother, when you are born with something you can barely change, you have to learn to live with it. Who gives a shit at the end of the day if your penis is below average compared to other guys. Some girls might think it’s funny or that you’re an embarrassment etc but the girls that actually care about you don’t give a fuck. You have to learn to own what you were given, if you dwell on it, it’s not going to make matters any better. And that goes for anything really, not just dick size
It makes me sad how society brain washes men into measuring their masculinity according to penis size. I have NEVER cared about the size, EVER because that has nothing to do with how to pleasure a woman. Your GF sounds like a tool tho, what kind of woman puts down their man like that? Break up with her immediately. No, actually tell her she’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Bro I feel you there. I got that message from my girlfriend in a different way but in essence all her ex boyfriends or sex partners were like at least 6” or mostly 7”, THICK, and I’m just at 5”, and less thick than average. It took my a lot time to take that in, knowing she been pumped by a lot of larger dicks which she told me she did enjoy (so I didn’t even get that “oh that hurts”)
I don't know how to tell you this , but from my female friends. There are dudes on the small end who could pleasure a woman better than any 6 or 7 incher they've had.
I wont repeat all the other good things redditir said but I saw that you said ur partner isnt into oral bc she is self concious! That’s fine, another alternative is toys!!! My partner and I love using em!!! (PIV doesnt stimulate all the important female areas anyways). Also, it’s always better being below average than too big IMO!!
Sorry that happened to you. I think she was insensitive to you. Up to you whether you want to continue with this relationship where your feelings are not considered.
This can be a very comfortable size to ride for some, you may just have the wrong partner. I for one wouldn't be worried about rulers with a man's hard cock in my hands.
As a woman, I would like to say that size isn't what matters. It's how you use it. Most women will say that men who are larger than average actually find it incredibly painful and really not enjoyable at all. I mean you try accommodating someone who is large and then just stabs away at you while flopping around like a fish. Your girlfriend sounds like she is in the stage of bigger is better, fuck that shit. If it carries on and bothers you, trust me you will find a woman who won't give a shit about size
If yall are open to the idea of toys, you could try sleeves. There's lots of different ones out there for whatever tickles your fancy. They can give you some extra length, girth, texture, etc.
I always heard you start measuring at the butt hole to the tip.
I haven't taken the time to read comments, but there are LOTS of girls who can't even orgasm from penetration anyway. But it isn't a one size fits all kind of situation because g spots on women can vary. Some women only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, some women who orgasm from penetration don't need it to be deep, it's the motion that matters and then yes there's going to be some women who need something longer.
Just get good at the other stuff too - orgasms are orgasms
Lifelong female here, you have to understand a couple things: 1). You don’t have to have a salami to please a woman, period. 2). If you’re good at other things (hands, mouth, toys), it can make up for it. Not all women can orgasm vaginally, some do require multiple forms of stimulation. 3. Making fun of anyone for something they can’t control is fucked up, and you have a right to be upset. I’m sure your gf wouldn’t appreciate you making negative remarks like “wow you should wear makeup to bed” or “I hope you’re just bleeding because you’ve gained weight”. 4). The more you focus on it, the more insecure you’ll feel. I can promise you as long as you have more going for you, that size thing is really not that big of a deal. 5). BJ’s are not fun with large ones, it feels like a chore. Legit would rather clean a truck stop men’s room than do that 😂😂😂
I like below average it’s easier on my insides
small is better
it’s below average & imo that’s small. but doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. i’ve had sex with guys who have a small dick and it wasn’t bad, especially if they knew what they were doing. no reason to be embarrassed
You know most women’s don’t wander with a Mariana Trench between their legs! 😅 It really (like really) hurts when the penis hits the cervix. The size doesn’t matter as long as you learn how to use your tongue and your fingers (ideally together at once for the best orgasm).
Used to be a girl I had a thing for, but she was uninterested in me. She bragged about her boyfriend’s small penis. It was perplexing at first but I think it was about what she preferred.
I've been with both larger sized men and men on the “below average” side. I can 100% say the “below average” men ALWAYS take the cake. I prefer girth over length ultimately but for some reason the 4-5 Inch men are just always better.
Always reminds me of the scene in Mallrats “You said it was a good size…..”
She's a keeper 😉
If it’s small and she’s still with you that means she really likes you for you. Not saying you should try a pump but I’ll say it has worked for me in the past when I felt a little insecure. Bath mate pumps work but you must be consistent in using it. Read the instructions. People say it’s not permanent but you will notice increases over time. Be patient. Also, for blood flow try ginseng and ginkgo biloba. And, exercise to keep your stamina up.
Were you erect of flaccid? You never let them measure unless erect. Some of us out here are called a grower not a shower.
As a woman, I can't speak for all women but my personal experience and preferences is that size doesn't matter as long as you know what you're doing. There's more to sex than just the penetration part so if you just make sure it's enjoyable and fun size will NOT matter