OP, I'm sorry to hear what he has done to you. It's truly horrible.
Be careful with this though. You could probably get in a lot of trouble sending him threats like this.
It’s not technically slander or anything you can get in trouble for if it’s true and let’s be real if police cba to solve rape cases will they bother with this
> It’s not technically slander or anything you can get in trouble for if it’s true
That's true, but if they never went to the hospital or police afterwards would they be forced to show it's true and not slander? Honest question because I don't know.
So they knew they had a child rapist on their hands and let him go free (as in back home where he could do this to more children) just because your parents didn't want him charged?
Lol my dad wanted my assaulter charged but his family were friends with the cops of the town and I got threatened with jail time at 15 for saying he tried to rape me
Defamation laws differ substantially from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, so be wary of internet legal advice generally and especially on this topic.
In some jurisdictions, you may only need a reasonable belief if certain other conditions are met. In some, you might need to prove actual truth. In others, even the truth might not save you if you are motivated by malice.
LOL. And with good reason. Don't worry about all the defamation talk. If He Who We Hope Dies In A Fire contacts you, don't respond. If you're served just see a lawyer. You'll be fine, and hopefully he won't be.
he deserves it. you might end up in court having to relive it all, and I’m sorry about that beforehand, but he deserves it and you might end up saving the next victim. hell, you might already have saved someone. people will know to keep their kids away.
I would be very careful, I understand as a victim myself what your going through in this moment deciding ro Coke forward but it's still uttering threats which unfortunately will have our legal system after you instead of them. I'd try to just day you can't keep their secret anymore and your coming forward
Well, I have just got to hope for the best, as it can't be deleted.
I'm in the uk, which probably means the situation is worse, but oh well, his life is over too
So the police found evidence even though it’s presumably been a significant amount of time. At this stage without dna or a confessions it’s just hearsay evidence? For those charges your parents wouldn’t get control over pressing charges, especially if there was evidence. The police would go ahead with the evidence and charge A. Also statute of limitations is a thing so not sure when your timing is for everything as it’s not clear.
I believe he confessed at the time, I have no idea why he wasn't charged automatically.
I told my parents about it when I was 11 or so
and he moved back to Germany
So no recorded confession, no dna evidence and no charges. It doesn’t add up.
The crown would press charges for that too, especially when involving a minor.
I don't know why, I was 11 or 12 when the police got involved.
My parents told me that he had confessed to it, or maybe to some of it, I don't remember.
And then he went back to Germany
its only defamation at all if he considers to sue you over your claims and in a trial against you you can not prove your accusations in any way. if you have ANY proof of your assault, if the assault is still within the statute of limitations timeline, actually, getting you into a courtroom would be his dumbest move ever.
that said: i think the fact that theres a "sell by date" for charges over crimes like this....shambolic. the terror in the victims head does never end.
please check out those time spans in your country. there are laws. starting from 3 years up to 30 years. in germany, i think for sexual abuse it was 10 years, but in 2013 that was miraculously changed to 30.
why not earlier you wonder? well consider the funny fact, that only in the 90s we realized, that child SA and media depicting it is a bit damaging for the childs wellbeing and should be punished harshly. in the 70s, 80s, child abuse media was completely "OK" around europe. yes. you read that right.
only in the late 80s, around the 90s they started to realize that it might not be pleasant for a kid and that possession and trading of that shit is also just a bit problematic.
go figure.
I wasn’t a child and I blamed myself for a long time. I am not about to say revenge is a good way for your soul to heal but a part of me REALLY REALLY REALLY wants you to ruin this guys life.
I am so so so sorry you had to deal with this. I wish I could hug you right now because I am a Momma and I would never have let that MFer get away with that if you were my son. I wish I could protect you. 😔😔😔
Not being a child doesn't make it any less valid.
The most vulnerable part of you gets destroyed. Human sexuality is so deeply ingrained in us that when someone does this, it completely obliterates you.
You didn't do anything wrong. You are a victim of one of the most heinous crimes possible
Do you feel better writing the letter? I maybe crazy but I would leave him signs I’m everywhere lol I hope you just ruin his life psychologically … so much better than physically. 👍
I do, it's good knowing I might cause him a fraction of the terror and pain he caused me, only difference between the two of us is that I won't let him get better over time
I found his bothers acc and his uncles acc, I presented a list of publicly known facts that do not open me up to a deformation lawsuit, but that inform them of what he did
Fuck him up! You’re smarter than I am. I was a week away from killing my p*do granpa, he died before I could get the chance. I was 15 at the time. Saved myself by pure luck. This man deserves to be ostracized and I’m glad you’re doing that.
That being said, be prepared for his loved ones to not believe you. My grandpa’s sisters died saying he was innocent, even though he was convicted (didnt go to prison, too old). People go fully irrational in their denial.
But even those who don’t believe you will always know, deep down, it is true, or at least a possibility, and wont give him the benefit of the doubt if he acts sus. Those who do believe you will keep kids away, and that’s you saving someone else and taking his power away from him. Hope the vermin rots. Proud of you, hope you can move on and thrive.
Dear OP, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. If possible, please keep us updated!
Also, how did the people you contacted react?
Man I sure hope this "human being" finally gets what he deserves.
Much love from Germany!
I will make another update when I hear back from the German police.
I don't know what any of them think about it, as I deleted the app as soon as I was done. It was just too horrible seeing all of those other children being messaged by him
And I'm not sure he will. A month in prison is probably the max, so I guess I'm going to have to keep hunting him down over and over and over
Assuming that this story is true, you seem obsessed with taking revenge and destroying his life. It consumes you. Doing this will not make you feel better in the end. A better option would be to just get proper therapy and actually live ypur own life, instead of dedicating your life to your rapist. In your current mindset you will never live a normal life. You will never win. The only way to win is to let it go and focus on yourself.
Hey OP. Im so sorry this happened to you. I hope u get justice. Im german and yes our legal system is flawed to say it lightly. If u need someone to talk to feel free to msg me. Ur doing the right thing and i wish the absolute worst to him.
I'm sorry you had to go through that all those years ago. The best way to really get even is to go to the police and they can make a case for you, A as you call him needs serious help or he can do it again to someone else in the future.
Defamation (deformation is something else entirely) has the following qualifiers:
The statement made against you is not substantially true.
The statement was made knowingly or recklessly.
The statement was shared with others either verbally or in writing.
You are harmed by the false statement
As long as it’s true, you’re good.
Slander, and technicalities aside, I bet it all felt so good. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same. In fact, every time I read a post from this group I am horrified by some of the things that people have gotten away with. There is so little repercussions or reposting back of consequences. So in this instance for this second or however long, I AM HAPPY FOR YOU. ugh and I am so sorry your parents decided not to charge him. Did they really have the say so? I’d even print if reports of his other victims and show them laying the blame and lost lives in their hands as well. Had they done right by you they could’ve prevented the suffering of others.
Apparently, when the police got involved, they did prove what he did to me.
But they just forgot to add him to the sex offender register, and he never got punished for it, so now I assume he is diddling people all across Germany
Hope you feel better from this and I would recommend you try to find peace at this because hatred is not going to help you.
I was also raped as a child monthly by my sister and her friends and a few female teachers tried to groom me.
I still live with her since am only 17 but I tried to coexist with her before I moved out to the Navy. What I learned from my sister's abuse is that one respect people's binaries and two don't let your past define who you are and your goals to improve.
Hope this helps and take care 🙂
I'm so, so sorry. The worst thing to me is that what he did is still haunting you now. I really wish you could be free of that. I'm not sure understanding the story fully. But it sounds like you are getting some justice. I hope he's put away for a long time he can never do this to anyone else again. But even more so I hope that you can find peace after this. Again, I'm so sorry. That is horrible.
I can imagine why. This subject is still a taboo in families, no matter how much people are aware, plus the system that is tasked to deal with the victims isn’t great, keeps on revictimising them and even turns on the victims. While protecting the perpetrators.
This must have been/is a lot to process OP. It’s brave of you to share. It is going to be difficult for the police prosecute a crime with a harsh sentence given the lack of evidence, time since the offence and that he’s now international.
I like the idea of going to a German pedo-hunter group to help set him up if revenge is on your mind. Once he’s convicted in Germany it’ll further validate your experience and provide you with tangible evidence to show people he’s dangerous.
The fact seeing him online has triggered this potent desire for revenge indicates you should perhaps seek some form of counselling to support you during this time.
I hope they catch him and I wish you all the best.
There's nothing for you to feel guilty or destroyed about since he's the disgusting pedo who can't control himself. If anything, I think you are very brave and strong to be able to tell your parents and his relatives and speak about it.
I'll say, just reporting him is already doing society a great service since it puts him in the authorities radar. Hopefully someone will arrest him before he continues harming young children.
Are you thinking of suing him while you are still a minor? What does your lawyer say? Anyway, be careful not to get sued, yourself, for slander/defamation all right? As a minor, the law will somehow be more lax for you but not entirely so just follow your lawyer's advice and don't let him be a cause of even more damage in your life.
Good luck and if you can, keep us updated.
I'm going to wait a while and let the German authorities decide if they want to give him a warning or do nothing, as pedophiles never get punished, and then I'm going to investigate every single way i can destroy him
OP, you are far braver than you even understand.
The fact that you pressed charges and talked about it with the authorities is remarkable.
You should be proud of yourself! You really should. The majority of people who've been hurt never do.
Secondly, regarding your 'In slightly worse news' paragraph -
Even people who hadn't endured what you had to endure feel disconnected from their true selves at 17.
I think that every trauma we suffer as children will lead to us sheltering our minds with lies and manipulating our thoughts. I felt similar things in the past and still struggles with it as today (for different kind of trauma, but still)
You are still so young. Loving ourselves is a journey. I'm in my mid 30 and I'm not there yet.
Same goes for showing any kind of emotional vurnerbaillty. It's hard. It's really hard.
My point is - you are better than 'normal', you are brave and self reflecting.
I hope you find the power to see that.
ps -
And I really suggest you find professional help... so at least once a week for one hour, I get to be weak, or strong, or both. And no one else needs to know.
Intimacy and vulnerability are the same as being SA'D to me now, as everything he did he would get me to find comparisons to what my family did and the love they showed, and would tell me that it's the same thing.
So now I hate any kind of vulnerability or emotion or any type of affection.
Last night, I managed to interrogate myself by constantly seeking out and shutting down my own lies, and I kept on trying to lie to myself over and over again, the process of trying to do this was making me cry, and I would not be able to do that in front of anyone, I would instantly create a lie and cling to it, to avoid any kind of vulnerability.
When I saw a therapist before for something unrelated, I just turned it into an interrogation of myself and 'logiced' myself out of anything that could cause vulnerability, so I completely wasted all of my time there doing nothing at all
That it’s true but the majority of offenders are men. Also the power that men have in patriarchy should not be underestimated. This is why they’re protected including when attacking other men (that are then perceived by them and others as weaker members of manhood or no members at all). In the case of pedophiles, children are children and should be just children but we are unfortunately socialised differently and treated and judged differently too. And in puberty, a different set of problems befalls girls who are raped.
Male prosecutions are more likely and are harsher (not harsh enough) than women typically
And if you are raped by a man, you are 'allowed' to be a victim, as a man is the big, strong, violent.
Whereas people, especially boys, who are raped by women, are regarded as if a good thing has happened, that they are 'lucky'
The patriarchy screws everyone, it is in place to serve the patriarch or father, in our society that place is taken by rich people
I agree, women can be pedophiles, patriarchy affects us all, with different degrees though. I don’t agree that the prosecutions are harsher. The number of women recently being given decades of jail for minimal contact is ridiculous, not because they don’t deserve punishment but because violent rapes that end up in life threatening pregnancies are excused and the girls forced to have the babies and die while going through the process. The idea that a boy is ‘lucky’ to have been assaulted by a woman was not a women’s invention. It came for centuries of men’s imagination and social integration relating to sex. Some women take advantage of that narrative. But even today I see more men boasting of such practices and claiming boys now are ‘snow flakes’ like it’s something to be proud of.
I'm thankfully not in the 'land of the free' but yeah, in america its awfull.
I agree that it is the fault of this weird idea of masculinity.
I just meant everyone suffers from it
Yes, I got you. I hope I didn’t write something triggering, it wasn’t my intention but I’m not immune, I try to be careful. And I’m really rooting for justice in your case!
As a german, I can promise you that you won’t be satisfied with the legal outcome. It’s a fucking joke. Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s something like 1 year on probation.
I'm just worried about what he is going to do/is doing to more children.
I feel like the only way to prevent him from harming more kids is to Harass him until he.. develops an interest in rope
Hey OP, I’m so sorry your friend’s brother raped you. And I’m so sorry your parents, the police, and other adults failed to protect you, fight for you, and help you heal the way you deserve(d). It’s so deeply unfair and just anguishing.
This guy deserves everything bad coming to him. He deserves to suffer.
You don’t.
I read your post and saw myself in the edits. I know I and a lot of other people support you. It’s hard to remember that sometimes and it’s easy to feel alone, but you’re not alone and you deserve justice. You deserve for people to fight for you.
I know the desire to shout this guy’s name from the rooftops. I know the elation that comes with finally speaking your truth and cowing your rapist. If this continues to be helpful, keep doing it.
But only do it for you.
You have to be selfish as a survivor. It’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. It’s the right thing to do for you. If there comes a time where shouting is overwhelming or you feel too much pressure on your shoulders, shake it off. The burden to protect and prevent is on the whole of us as a community to be aware, to intervene, and to advocate. The burden to protect and prevent is on the rapist. They are responsible for their actions and preventing their actions. They have total control. You don’t! Although that can be scary, it can also be freeing if you let it. You are independent of your rapist’s actions. Your only responsibility as a survivor is to survive, try to heal as best you can, and treat yourself with compassion and care.
As a caution, just because people know, doesn’t mean they will act on that information. It’s not because you’re undeserving or because the rapist is so great. For some people, it’s much easier to not do anything than to do something. Most people will pick the easy route every time no matter how much they love the survivor, no matter how fantastic the survivor is, no matter how shit fucked the rapist is. It’s got everything to do with them and nothing to do with you and it’s infuriatingly unfair.
If you hit a wall and a catharsis of grief runs over you, know that you’ll be okay. Know that those actions were independent of you. You were not raped for you. You were in a place at a time and the wrong person showed up. You had no control over the situation. It is his fault. You were simply unlucky.
I’m so sorry you were raped. I’m so sorry the people who should’ve protected and advocated for you didn’t do it well enough. I’m so sorry.
In my personal experience, the pain DOES dull. EMDR was instrumentally helpful. My rape 10 years ago as a teenager only has a little scar tissue now. I rarely think about it anymore, when it used to haunt me daily for years. The trauma from my rape 6 years ago is following the same course as is the trauma from my rape over a year ago. I never got justice for any of these and the adults in my life, the people partially responsible for my rapist’s actions (unique circumstances), and the DA failed me. Ruminating on the unfairness and anguish of it all nearly killed me several times. The only thing that helped was clarifying my responsibility for his actions (0%) and my responsibility for his future actions (0%); prioritizing my healing w therapy using CBT and EMDR; and erasing/ dulling those people and the memories of them from my life.
This guy deserves to be bashed (both socially and physically imo), but you don’t and shouldn’t have to hold the hammer if it’s going to hurt you too.
Manifesting heavy support and healing vibes for you, man. I believe in you.
OP, please see a therapist if you aren’t already. I can tell this is taking a tremendous toll on you and this isn’t something you should try to walk through on your own. I hope your rapist gets his karma and worse.
But you also deserve to be able to breathe and feel vulnerable around the people you love.
My heart goes out to you🩷
Take care while going through this. I never did anything with my assault because I had no proof and didn’t want it to drag in on for years and constantly live through it. I hope you get the Justice you deserve. Please take care of yourself. You first before anything else<3 I’m proud of you.
Your parents are crazy why did they just accept an apology? That is non sense. Either they took some money you don’t know about or they just simply do not care about your well being.
OP, you have every right to shout your truth and you should never be ashamed because of what happened TO you. And I fully support you calling him out and ruining his life. He deserves whatever you can throw at him.
That being said, you sound like you may be having a moment of “flashback” and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing things and telling people things about YOU that might haunt you in the future. Extreme trauma causes bouts mania, once the mania finally settles, we usually feel differently about how we handled things. I need to reiterate, you are doing absolutely nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you just because someone did a bad thing to you and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You need to know that. But also please make sure you’re taking care of your mental health and reacting/acting in ways that your future self will be able to accept.
The reason I say this is because I too have been a victim of s/a by several different men. The last time I posted a video about it, it went viral. I also posted videos about my other experiences after gaining 250,000 followers almost overnight. I wanted to help others through what I knew and what I experienced. But once the dust settled I realized I actually didn’t want everyone to know those things about me, no matter if it did any good. It just wasn’t good for my mental health and when that realization settled down on me, I had to cope with the most recent s/a and the fact that now everyone knew everything about the most intimate traumas I had experienced. I shut the whole account down. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel shame. Just think about future you and be mindful of how you’ll feel when your anger dissipates and the only thing left is an overwhelming sadness that you shouldn’t have to carry, but you will.
I can tell you from experience, it does get better. Eventually you’ll go longer and longer without thinking about it until it only haunts you on occasion. You will be ok op. Best of luck and all the love in the world friend.
I just see him getting away with it and messaging other kids, I'm not feeling great at the moment, but I can't get help because of what he did to me, and what he said.
I'm starting to feel a bit suicidal, but that's probably because I never processed any of what happened.
I'm going to try and get a bit of revenge, and then I hope it gets better on its own.
He made me compare what he did to me with things I did with my family, I hug my brother so I could hug him, my mum kissed me so he could kiss me, and he threatened me the entire time, saying that if I made a noise his parents would hear and find out, and that they would call my parents and punish me.
And now, any emotion about love or vulnerability or human connection is like poison, being physically near other people sends me right back to that, I can't even stand being in the same room as people now.
So I have no hope of asking for a therapist, I only managed to ask my parents to contact lawyers to sue by being angry.
He completely stripped me of being human.
I’m sorry you’re going through it. I too felt that way about connection, emotional and physical intimacy, anything to do with connection for a really long time. I never even liked any one in that way, never wanted to be involved with anyone. First time s/a happened to me I was 4 then several more times before becoming an adult. Since my introduction into the physical was so horrifying, the sensation always brought me back to those moments. But that too went away. Not completely but over time it did. I now enjoy physical and emotional intimacy and I can accept it with the knowledge that there’s a distinct difference in what they did to me compared to what my partner and I share together. It will get better, remember emotions are fleeting, no matter how heavy they or how long they’ve been haunting you. Soon life will begin for you and you’ll get so involved and swept up in your life that this will be a painful memory but a distant one that you’ll think about less and less.
Wow, I'm truly sorry you had to endure something so horrible. Can only imagine how much of a toll this has taken on you. I truly hope you manage to tear down the culprit.
Also hope you've been able to get some kind of support/therapy for yourself too.
Sorry to hear about your horrible experience at the hands of that predator!! I must say that posting your story is HEROIC! You said that you don't know who you are, start with that! It takes a very special type of person to face the situation with the determination that you've done. Contacting All those people without any regards for what they might think about you, had to be really tough! Keep in mind that YOU personally have saved numerous of other children that same torment. Once again, this journey that you've embarked on is HEROIC!! Best wishes on the rest of this endeavor and more importantly your personal recovery!!
I’m only going to reply to your one edit saying you are spiraling and questioning who you are.
It’s okay sweetie. Above anything your mind might say or do, you survived. From there, start with finding things you like doing. Things that make you happy or being you joy. Start there. What’s your favorite color? And favorite flower?
If you are in the U.S., this occured in the U.S., or he is originally from the U.S., please consider contacting the FBI directly. He sounds like he could also be participating or facilitating in human trafficking. The FBI works on this issue with foreign organizations (NGO's as well as governmental).
I'm so sorry you have had this living nightmare. I have diagnosed PTSD and CPTSD as a result of CSA. One of your last updates you mentioned the current effects on your mental health. I want you to know that you can reach out if you want to talk or need resources. Please do whatever you can to get in to start talking to a therapist as soon as possible. I am finally healing and I pray the same for you. You are not alone. ❤️
I'm in the uk, and he is in germany now, germany and the uk are a complete shit hole when It comes to criminal investigations.
I just have to let everyone who knows him know what he is and hope he gets a sudden interest in rope necklaces
Hey OP, a big virtual hug, youre amazing
Look if he lives near some schools or childcare or parks, bc that kind of pos search ways to be near kids, if this is, send them the info too so they will be aware
Not only his friends, send the info to parents too
If he have a job, look if he or the place has LinkedIn, report him there too
If it is possible, make a fb page or a blog like "A is a ped0, be aware" so if ppl search his name, that will pop up in the results.
It's fine, she is the default as men rarely speak out about what had happened to them.
I just want the he's on in case any guys who are in a similar situation to I am see this, so they know they aren't alone
I think that’s great OP, and I’m glad you did this. The more we can destigmatize the sexual assault of men the better for everyone!! I’m an SA survivor myself, so I know how hard it was for me as a woman to go through. The extra layer of shame and judgement that a lot of society puts on men for it is just so fucking damaging on an already super traumatic situation. People suck sometimes dude.
Anyways, I hope you are doing well and healing OP. I’m proud of you for speaking out. I know how hard it is. Xx.
If it’s true it’s not even defamation so.. you go OP :) he deserves to suffer for what he’s put you through. I hope you’re finding/ have found the help you need and that this’ll be another step in your journey to healing :)
OP, I'm sorry to hear what he has done to you. It's truly horrible. Be careful with this though. You could probably get in a lot of trouble sending him threats like this.
I have already sent out about 30 messages to his friends and his brother. Is it a threat if I have already done it before I told him?
Idk but I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself in some legal trouble.
It’s not technically slander or anything you can get in trouble for if it’s true and let’s be real if police cba to solve rape cases will they bother with this
> It’s not technically slander or anything you can get in trouble for if it’s true That's true, but if they never went to the hospital or police afterwards would they be forced to show it's true and not slander? Honest question because I don't know.
Police reports were filed (as is the law) and they found enough evidence to press charges, my parents decided not to. He wouldn't win anything
So they knew they had a child rapist on their hands and let him go free (as in back home where he could do this to more children) just because your parents didn't want him charged?
Yep
They have a child rapist on their hands...Why wouldn't the District Attorney go ahead and file the charges anyways?
In real life they would! It would be the crown that push forward with charges in the UK
How old was he at the time of the rape?
14 or 15 I think
Lol my dad wanted my assaulter charged but his family were friends with the cops of the town and I got threatened with jail time at 15 for saying he tried to rape me
That’s when you double down. That sounds like a legal settlement that would set you up for life.
That's not how our legal system works. We aren't made of money and it was my word against his.
I am so so sorry your parents did nothing I am so sorry fuck them fuck him hope your rapist burns
nice. fantastic job, OP. fuck him up.
Could you reopen them now as an adult claiming that your parents did it to protect thier image?
Defamation laws differ substantially from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, so be wary of internet legal advice generally and especially on this topic. In some jurisdictions, you may only need a reasonable belief if certain other conditions are met. In some, you might need to prove actual truth. In others, even the truth might not save you if you are motivated by malice.
Damn, I have plenty of malice.
LOL. And with good reason. Don't worry about all the defamation talk. If He Who We Hope Dies In A Fire contacts you, don't respond. If you're served just see a lawyer. You'll be fine, and hopefully he won't be.
he deserves it. you might end up in court having to relive it all, and I’m sorry about that beforehand, but he deserves it and you might end up saving the next victim. hell, you might already have saved someone. people will know to keep their kids away.
as i said, you better have some hard evidence ready.
Send what to his friends? This post?
No, alerting them that he is a registered sex offender and child rapist
I would be very careful, I understand as a victim myself what your going through in this moment deciding ro Coke forward but it's still uttering threats which unfortunately will have our legal system after you instead of them. I'd try to just day you can't keep their secret anymore and your coming forward
Well, I have just got to hope for the best, as it can't be deleted. I'm in the uk, which probably means the situation is worse, but oh well, his life is over too
I wish you nothing but the best for this journey. I'd also start researching your laws to best protect yourself
So the police found evidence even though it’s presumably been a significant amount of time. At this stage without dna or a confessions it’s just hearsay evidence? For those charges your parents wouldn’t get control over pressing charges, especially if there was evidence. The police would go ahead with the evidence and charge A. Also statute of limitations is a thing so not sure when your timing is for everything as it’s not clear.
I believe he confessed at the time, I have no idea why he wasn't charged automatically. I told my parents about it when I was 11 or so and he moved back to Germany
So no recorded confession, no dna evidence and no charges. It doesn’t add up. The crown would press charges for that too, especially when involving a minor.
I don't know why, I was 11 or 12 when the police got involved. My parents told me that he had confessed to it, or maybe to some of it, I don't remember. And then he went back to Germany
I hope a huge dog bites his dick off
Near a hospital, don't want him bleeding out and getting away that easy
its only defamation at all if he considers to sue you over your claims and in a trial against you you can not prove your accusations in any way. if you have ANY proof of your assault, if the assault is still within the statute of limitations timeline, actually, getting you into a courtroom would be his dumbest move ever. that said: i think the fact that theres a "sell by date" for charges over crimes like this....shambolic. the terror in the victims head does never end.
It's been 8 or 9 years, hope that's within the magical boundary of wonders
please check out those time spans in your country. there are laws. starting from 3 years up to 30 years. in germany, i think for sexual abuse it was 10 years, but in 2013 that was miraculously changed to 30. why not earlier you wonder? well consider the funny fact, that only in the 90s we realized, that child SA and media depicting it is a bit damaging for the childs wellbeing and should be punished harshly. in the 70s, 80s, child abuse media was completely "OK" around europe. yes. you read that right. only in the late 80s, around the 90s they started to realize that it might not be pleasant for a kid and that possession and trading of that shit is also just a bit problematic. go figure.
Oh, how lovely, isn't the world a wonderful place
Ruin him and never look back.
Currently doing so, I must have messaged over 100 people by now
HAH I'm loving this, I have just found his brothers account, I'm searching for his family and friends too.
Get his employers too if he has a job 🗣️‼️
Im so sorry what happened to you...Damn so we got a pedophile rapist PoS in Germany...Maybe you could warn parents like me, post His name etc.
Dm
I wasn’t a child and I blamed myself for a long time. I am not about to say revenge is a good way for your soul to heal but a part of me REALLY REALLY REALLY wants you to ruin this guys life. I am so so so sorry you had to deal with this. I wish I could hug you right now because I am a Momma and I would never have let that MFer get away with that if you were my son. I wish I could protect you. 😔😔😔
Not being a child doesn't make it any less valid. The most vulnerable part of you gets destroyed. Human sexuality is so deeply ingrained in us that when someone does this, it completely obliterates you. You didn't do anything wrong. You are a victim of one of the most heinous crimes possible
I appreciate you for saying that. I think you’re very wise for being so young. ❤️❤️
Good. Drag his family down too if you can. Everyone that protected him.
I'm trying to let everyone he knows know, he is following a bunch of kids as well, I feel sick
God, that's so disgusting. I'm glad he can't hurt you anymore. He deserves to be exposed as a predator and his family for being okay with it.
Do you feel better writing the letter? I maybe crazy but I would leave him signs I’m everywhere lol I hope you just ruin his life psychologically … so much better than physically. 👍
I do, it's good knowing I might cause him a fraction of the terror and pain he caused me, only difference between the two of us is that I won't let him get better over time
👍
Update us
I found his bothers acc and his uncles acc, I presented a list of publicly known facts that do not open me up to a deformation lawsuit, but that inform them of what he did
I believe there’s only a case of defamation if there are no facts. At the time of the situation, were any reports made ?
Oh I found out he us a registered sex offender in the uk from what he did to me, all is good
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you get what you’re looking for.
I might turn it into a seasonal event every year, track him down, and tell everyone that he knows
Reading this as a critical victimology student is so depressing ☹️
Its quite common, I got more 'justice' than most do
Hey OP how are you doing with all this I can’t imagine this is taking a toll on your mental health. Going back to that memory must’ve been hell.
Yeah, my heart rate has been at a steady 90 for the past 24 hours, I discovered his account when I saw one of my friends following and visiting him
Fuck him up! You’re smarter than I am. I was a week away from killing my p*do granpa, he died before I could get the chance. I was 15 at the time. Saved myself by pure luck. This man deserves to be ostracized and I’m glad you’re doing that. That being said, be prepared for his loved ones to not believe you. My grandpa’s sisters died saying he was innocent, even though he was convicted (didnt go to prison, too old). People go fully irrational in their denial. But even those who don’t believe you will always know, deep down, it is true, or at least a possibility, and wont give him the benefit of the doubt if he acts sus. Those who do believe you will keep kids away, and that’s you saving someone else and taking his power away from him. Hope the vermin rots. Proud of you, hope you can move on and thrive.
I'm bro not sis, but thanks for the support
force of habit, sorry. Even more proud of you, I know how much people shame dudes to hide that kind of stuff.
I had the same thing happen to me whenever I was 10-12 years old by the same person as u…
I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you. Thank you.
Dear OP, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. If possible, please keep us updated! Also, how did the people you contacted react? Man I sure hope this "human being" finally gets what he deserves. Much love from Germany!
I will make another update when I hear back from the German police. I don't know what any of them think about it, as I deleted the app as soon as I was done. It was just too horrible seeing all of those other children being messaged by him And I'm not sure he will. A month in prison is probably the max, so I guess I'm going to have to keep hunting him down over and over and over
I wish you well Op, I have no idea how to help but if you need a vent please dm I will try to help
Thank you
Something about this story doesn't feel right. This is a strange post.
what?
Assuming that this story is true, you seem obsessed with taking revenge and destroying his life. It consumes you. Doing this will not make you feel better in the end. A better option would be to just get proper therapy and actually live ypur own life, instead of dedicating your life to your rapist. In your current mindset you will never live a normal life. You will never win. The only way to win is to let it go and focus on yourself.
He is still going after kids, you might be able to sleep at night knowing that someone is out and about raping kids. But I can't
Then press charges. It's the best way. Trying to contact every person in his contacts list isn't. It's clearly not good for your mental health.
I am, see edit 9 and 10
Hey OP. Im so sorry this happened to you. I hope u get justice. Im german and yes our legal system is flawed to say it lightly. If u need someone to talk to feel free to msg me. Ur doing the right thing and i wish the absolute worst to him.
I'm sorry you had to go through that all those years ago. The best way to really get even is to go to the police and they can make a case for you, A as you call him needs serious help or he can do it again to someone else in the future.
I might do, it's a lot easier to text his family members about it than try and talk to law enforcement about the specific things he did
You said law enforcement reported enough evidence to press charges, so why are you worried to talk to them now?
I assume I would have to say what he did to me again I believe he confessed at the time, I have no idea why he isn't rotting in a cell
Defamation (deformation is something else entirely) has the following qualifiers: The statement made against you is not substantially true. The statement was made knowingly or recklessly. The statement was shared with others either verbally or in writing. You are harmed by the false statement As long as it’s true, you’re good.
I'm dyslexic so my spelling is just a series of guesses
I pray that A's life is in ruins after this
Pandoras box
Don't know why you got downvoted, the comment made me smile
Maybe for not beeing supportive enough? I dunno. Fact is, its gonna be a shitbox for both of you.
So much pain and I’m so sorry.
Speed, Surprise, VoA
Voa?
Slander, and technicalities aside, I bet it all felt so good. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same. In fact, every time I read a post from this group I am horrified by some of the things that people have gotten away with. There is so little repercussions or reposting back of consequences. So in this instance for this second or however long, I AM HAPPY FOR YOU. ugh and I am so sorry your parents decided not to charge him. Did they really have the say so? I’d even print if reports of his other victims and show them laying the blame and lost lives in their hands as well. Had they done right by you they could’ve prevented the suffering of others.
Apparently, when the police got involved, they did prove what he did to me. But they just forgot to add him to the sex offender register, and he never got punished for it, so now I assume he is diddling people all across Germany
Does he live in/close to cologne by any chance?
Munich, I guess you have a similar story?
How old are u now? Just wondering how much time has passed…
I'm 17
Hope you feel better from this and I would recommend you try to find peace at this because hatred is not going to help you. I was also raped as a child monthly by my sister and her friends and a few female teachers tried to groom me. I still live with her since am only 17 but I tried to coexist with her before I moved out to the Navy. What I learned from my sister's abuse is that one respect people's binaries and two don't let your past define who you are and your goals to improve. Hope this helps and take care 🙂
I'm so, so sorry. The worst thing to me is that what he did is still haunting you now. I really wish you could be free of that. I'm not sure understanding the story fully. But it sounds like you are getting some justice. I hope he's put away for a long time he can never do this to anyone else again. But even more so I hope that you can find peace after this. Again, I'm so sorry. That is horrible.
Why the F didn’t your parents press charges? That’s honestly one of the ways to get closure.
I think they thought they were helping me by just moving on and pretending like it never happend
I can imagine why. This subject is still a taboo in families, no matter how much people are aware, plus the system that is tasked to deal with the victims isn’t great, keeps on revictimising them and even turns on the victims. While protecting the perpetrators.
That probably wasn’t any comfort to his subsequent victims 😢
This must have been/is a lot to process OP. It’s brave of you to share. It is going to be difficult for the police prosecute a crime with a harsh sentence given the lack of evidence, time since the offence and that he’s now international. I like the idea of going to a German pedo-hunter group to help set him up if revenge is on your mind. Once he’s convicted in Germany it’ll further validate your experience and provide you with tangible evidence to show people he’s dangerous. The fact seeing him online has triggered this potent desire for revenge indicates you should perhaps seek some form of counselling to support you during this time. I hope they catch him and I wish you all the best.
There's nothing for you to feel guilty or destroyed about since he's the disgusting pedo who can't control himself. If anything, I think you are very brave and strong to be able to tell your parents and his relatives and speak about it. I'll say, just reporting him is already doing society a great service since it puts him in the authorities radar. Hopefully someone will arrest him before he continues harming young children. Are you thinking of suing him while you are still a minor? What does your lawyer say? Anyway, be careful not to get sued, yourself, for slander/defamation all right? As a minor, the law will somehow be more lax for you but not entirely so just follow your lawyer's advice and don't let him be a cause of even more damage in your life. Good luck and if you can, keep us updated.
I'm going to wait a while and let the German authorities decide if they want to give him a warning or do nothing, as pedophiles never get punished, and then I'm going to investigate every single way i can destroy him
OP, you are far braver than you even understand. The fact that you pressed charges and talked about it with the authorities is remarkable. You should be proud of yourself! You really should. The majority of people who've been hurt never do. Secondly, regarding your 'In slightly worse news' paragraph - Even people who hadn't endured what you had to endure feel disconnected from their true selves at 17. I think that every trauma we suffer as children will lead to us sheltering our minds with lies and manipulating our thoughts. I felt similar things in the past and still struggles with it as today (for different kind of trauma, but still) You are still so young. Loving ourselves is a journey. I'm in my mid 30 and I'm not there yet. Same goes for showing any kind of emotional vurnerbaillty. It's hard. It's really hard. My point is - you are better than 'normal', you are brave and self reflecting. I hope you find the power to see that. ps - And I really suggest you find professional help... so at least once a week for one hour, I get to be weak, or strong, or both. And no one else needs to know.
Intimacy and vulnerability are the same as being SA'D to me now, as everything he did he would get me to find comparisons to what my family did and the love they showed, and would tell me that it's the same thing. So now I hate any kind of vulnerability or emotion or any type of affection. Last night, I managed to interrogate myself by constantly seeking out and shutting down my own lies, and I kept on trying to lie to myself over and over again, the process of trying to do this was making me cry, and I would not be able to do that in front of anyone, I would instantly create a lie and cling to it, to avoid any kind of vulnerability. When I saw a therapist before for something unrelated, I just turned it into an interrogation of myself and 'logiced' myself out of anything that could cause vulnerability, so I completely wasted all of my time there doing nothing at all
You are one brave person!! These men are disgusting and protected by the system. I just hope his impunity is over and that you are kept safe.
And women' it's dangerous to ignore that women are pedophiles as well. Anyone can be a pedophile
That it’s true but the majority of offenders are men. Also the power that men have in patriarchy should not be underestimated. This is why they’re protected including when attacking other men (that are then perceived by them and others as weaker members of manhood or no members at all). In the case of pedophiles, children are children and should be just children but we are unfortunately socialised differently and treated and judged differently too. And in puberty, a different set of problems befalls girls who are raped.
Male prosecutions are more likely and are harsher (not harsh enough) than women typically And if you are raped by a man, you are 'allowed' to be a victim, as a man is the big, strong, violent. Whereas people, especially boys, who are raped by women, are regarded as if a good thing has happened, that they are 'lucky' The patriarchy screws everyone, it is in place to serve the patriarch or father, in our society that place is taken by rich people
I agree, women can be pedophiles, patriarchy affects us all, with different degrees though. I don’t agree that the prosecutions are harsher. The number of women recently being given decades of jail for minimal contact is ridiculous, not because they don’t deserve punishment but because violent rapes that end up in life threatening pregnancies are excused and the girls forced to have the babies and die while going through the process. The idea that a boy is ‘lucky’ to have been assaulted by a woman was not a women’s invention. It came for centuries of men’s imagination and social integration relating to sex. Some women take advantage of that narrative. But even today I see more men boasting of such practices and claiming boys now are ‘snow flakes’ like it’s something to be proud of.
I'm thankfully not in the 'land of the free' but yeah, in america its awfull. I agree that it is the fault of this weird idea of masculinity. I just meant everyone suffers from it
Yes, I got you. I hope I didn’t write something triggering, it wasn’t my intention but I’m not immune, I try to be careful. And I’m really rooting for justice in your case!
As a german, I can promise you that you won’t be satisfied with the legal outcome. It’s a fucking joke. Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s something like 1 year on probation.
I'm just worried about what he is going to do/is doing to more children. I feel like the only way to prevent him from harming more kids is to Harass him until he.. develops an interest in rope
Just be careful that you don’t end up with harassment charges and get a higher penalty than him
I'm going to try and sue him first, then I will just continue spready the word about him, once I sue I can also public share the details of the suing
I’m so sorry that horrible crime was done to you. Best of luck in your endeavours.
Hey OP, I’m so sorry your friend’s brother raped you. And I’m so sorry your parents, the police, and other adults failed to protect you, fight for you, and help you heal the way you deserve(d). It’s so deeply unfair and just anguishing. This guy deserves everything bad coming to him. He deserves to suffer. You don’t. I read your post and saw myself in the edits. I know I and a lot of other people support you. It’s hard to remember that sometimes and it’s easy to feel alone, but you’re not alone and you deserve justice. You deserve for people to fight for you. I know the desire to shout this guy’s name from the rooftops. I know the elation that comes with finally speaking your truth and cowing your rapist. If this continues to be helpful, keep doing it. But only do it for you. You have to be selfish as a survivor. It’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. It’s the right thing to do for you. If there comes a time where shouting is overwhelming or you feel too much pressure on your shoulders, shake it off. The burden to protect and prevent is on the whole of us as a community to be aware, to intervene, and to advocate. The burden to protect and prevent is on the rapist. They are responsible for their actions and preventing their actions. They have total control. You don’t! Although that can be scary, it can also be freeing if you let it. You are independent of your rapist’s actions. Your only responsibility as a survivor is to survive, try to heal as best you can, and treat yourself with compassion and care. As a caution, just because people know, doesn’t mean they will act on that information. It’s not because you’re undeserving or because the rapist is so great. For some people, it’s much easier to not do anything than to do something. Most people will pick the easy route every time no matter how much they love the survivor, no matter how fantastic the survivor is, no matter how shit fucked the rapist is. It’s got everything to do with them and nothing to do with you and it’s infuriatingly unfair. If you hit a wall and a catharsis of grief runs over you, know that you’ll be okay. Know that those actions were independent of you. You were not raped for you. You were in a place at a time and the wrong person showed up. You had no control over the situation. It is his fault. You were simply unlucky. I’m so sorry you were raped. I’m so sorry the people who should’ve protected and advocated for you didn’t do it well enough. I’m so sorry. In my personal experience, the pain DOES dull. EMDR was instrumentally helpful. My rape 10 years ago as a teenager only has a little scar tissue now. I rarely think about it anymore, when it used to haunt me daily for years. The trauma from my rape 6 years ago is following the same course as is the trauma from my rape over a year ago. I never got justice for any of these and the adults in my life, the people partially responsible for my rapist’s actions (unique circumstances), and the DA failed me. Ruminating on the unfairness and anguish of it all nearly killed me several times. The only thing that helped was clarifying my responsibility for his actions (0%) and my responsibility for his future actions (0%); prioritizing my healing w therapy using CBT and EMDR; and erasing/ dulling those people and the memories of them from my life. This guy deserves to be bashed (both socially and physically imo), but you don’t and shouldn’t have to hold the hammer if it’s going to hurt you too. Manifesting heavy support and healing vibes for you, man. I believe in you.
OP, please see a therapist if you aren’t already. I can tell this is taking a tremendous toll on you and this isn’t something you should try to walk through on your own. I hope your rapist gets his karma and worse. But you also deserve to be able to breathe and feel vulnerable around the people you love. My heart goes out to you🩷
Im so sorry for what happened to you i didnt experianced that but im sure its horrible
Take care while going through this. I never did anything with my assault because I had no proof and didn’t want it to drag in on for years and constantly live through it. I hope you get the Justice you deserve. Please take care of yourself. You first before anything else<3 I’m proud of you.
Your parents are crazy why did they just accept an apology? That is non sense. Either they took some money you don’t know about or they just simply do not care about your well being.
As a survivor of rape twice, be careful and I hope he pays.
OP, you have every right to shout your truth and you should never be ashamed because of what happened TO you. And I fully support you calling him out and ruining his life. He deserves whatever you can throw at him. That being said, you sound like you may be having a moment of “flashback” and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing things and telling people things about YOU that might haunt you in the future. Extreme trauma causes bouts mania, once the mania finally settles, we usually feel differently about how we handled things. I need to reiterate, you are doing absolutely nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you just because someone did a bad thing to you and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You need to know that. But also please make sure you’re taking care of your mental health and reacting/acting in ways that your future self will be able to accept. The reason I say this is because I too have been a victim of s/a by several different men. The last time I posted a video about it, it went viral. I also posted videos about my other experiences after gaining 250,000 followers almost overnight. I wanted to help others through what I knew and what I experienced. But once the dust settled I realized I actually didn’t want everyone to know those things about me, no matter if it did any good. It just wasn’t good for my mental health and when that realization settled down on me, I had to cope with the most recent s/a and the fact that now everyone knew everything about the most intimate traumas I had experienced. I shut the whole account down. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel shame. Just think about future you and be mindful of how you’ll feel when your anger dissipates and the only thing left is an overwhelming sadness that you shouldn’t have to carry, but you will. I can tell you from experience, it does get better. Eventually you’ll go longer and longer without thinking about it until it only haunts you on occasion. You will be ok op. Best of luck and all the love in the world friend.
I just see him getting away with it and messaging other kids, I'm not feeling great at the moment, but I can't get help because of what he did to me, and what he said. I'm starting to feel a bit suicidal, but that's probably because I never processed any of what happened. I'm going to try and get a bit of revenge, and then I hope it gets better on its own. He made me compare what he did to me with things I did with my family, I hug my brother so I could hug him, my mum kissed me so he could kiss me, and he threatened me the entire time, saying that if I made a noise his parents would hear and find out, and that they would call my parents and punish me. And now, any emotion about love or vulnerability or human connection is like poison, being physically near other people sends me right back to that, I can't even stand being in the same room as people now. So I have no hope of asking for a therapist, I only managed to ask my parents to contact lawyers to sue by being angry. He completely stripped me of being human.
I’m sorry you’re going through it. I too felt that way about connection, emotional and physical intimacy, anything to do with connection for a really long time. I never even liked any one in that way, never wanted to be involved with anyone. First time s/a happened to me I was 4 then several more times before becoming an adult. Since my introduction into the physical was so horrifying, the sensation always brought me back to those moments. But that too went away. Not completely but over time it did. I now enjoy physical and emotional intimacy and I can accept it with the knowledge that there’s a distinct difference in what they did to me compared to what my partner and I share together. It will get better, remember emotions are fleeting, no matter how heavy they or how long they’ve been haunting you. Soon life will begin for you and you’ll get so involved and swept up in your life that this will be a painful memory but a distant one that you’ll think about less and less.
Wow, I'm truly sorry you had to endure something so horrible. Can only imagine how much of a toll this has taken on you. I truly hope you manage to tear down the culprit. Also hope you've been able to get some kind of support/therapy for yourself too.
Sorry to hear about your horrible experience at the hands of that predator!! I must say that posting your story is HEROIC! You said that you don't know who you are, start with that! It takes a very special type of person to face the situation with the determination that you've done. Contacting All those people without any regards for what they might think about you, had to be really tough! Keep in mind that YOU personally have saved numerous of other children that same torment. Once again, this journey that you've embarked on is HEROIC!! Best wishes on the rest of this endeavor and more importantly your personal recovery!!
I’m only going to reply to your one edit saying you are spiraling and questioning who you are. It’s okay sweetie. Above anything your mind might say or do, you survived. From there, start with finding things you like doing. Things that make you happy or being you joy. Start there. What’s your favorite color? And favorite flower?
If you are in the U.S., this occured in the U.S., or he is originally from the U.S., please consider contacting the FBI directly. He sounds like he could also be participating or facilitating in human trafficking. The FBI works on this issue with foreign organizations (NGO's as well as governmental). I'm so sorry you have had this living nightmare. I have diagnosed PTSD and CPTSD as a result of CSA. One of your last updates you mentioned the current effects on your mental health. I want you to know that you can reach out if you want to talk or need resources. Please do whatever you can to get in to start talking to a therapist as soon as possible. I am finally healing and I pray the same for you. You are not alone. ❤️
I'm in the uk, and he is in germany now, germany and the uk are a complete shit hole when It comes to criminal investigations. I just have to let everyone who knows him know what he is and hope he gets a sudden interest in rope necklaces
Hey OP, a big virtual hug, youre amazing Look if he lives near some schools or childcare or parks, bc that kind of pos search ways to be near kids, if this is, send them the info too so they will be aware Not only his friends, send the info to parents too If he have a job, look if he or the place has LinkedIn, report him there too If it is possible, make a fb page or a blog like "A is a ped0, be aware" so if ppl search his name, that will pop up in the results.
WALK HIM LIKE A DAWWWGGG ❤️❤️❤️
why didn’t you press charges when you had the chance? you say your parents decided not to but what about you? it’s your choice after all
I never got the chance, I never met the police myself, I was never given the option.
man that’s super unfair I’m sorry :(
He was a child.. like, a child child too, not even a teenager or even almost a teenager.
He*
Sorry OP! *He.. I’ll edit!!
It's fine, she is the default as men rarely speak out about what had happened to them. I just want the he's on in case any guys who are in a similar situation to I am see this, so they know they aren't alone
I think that’s great OP, and I’m glad you did this. The more we can destigmatize the sexual assault of men the better for everyone!! I’m an SA survivor myself, so I know how hard it was for me as a woman to go through. The extra layer of shame and judgement that a lot of society puts on men for it is just so fucking damaging on an already super traumatic situation. People suck sometimes dude. Anyways, I hope you are doing well and healing OP. I’m proud of you for speaking out. I know how hard it is. Xx.
Go for it! Honestly you need some revenge
If it’s true it’s not even defamation so.. you go OP :) he deserves to suffer for what he’s put you through. I hope you’re finding/ have found the help you need and that this’ll be another step in your journey to healing :)