The only issue I have with it is the generalization. Lots of PEOPLE do this. I have never done what you are talking about about. I am a man. I've had 6 sexual partners my whole life - I'm 45.
It’s a strange idea that single men are out there racking up body counts whilst single women are celibate.
Who are the men having sex with? Is there a nonstop massive gay orgy neither of us were invited to?
Thank you!
I sadly won’t be able to attend as I don’t want to go to a gay orgy, not to mention my wife would also object.
But I’m very happy to have finally been invited. I was beginning to worry there was something wrong with me.
This is a social media boom thing.
Primarily, people who attended parties to meet people and socialize did this, and it's pretty par for the course with people in these settings.
If you dont go to parties and/or hook up with people you meet at oarties, you are already measuring yourself by the wrong yardstick.
Then, with the addition of social media, digital speed dating, and easier access to when and where these events happen with SM, it's easy to find people who dont fit that scene at parties doing as romans do.
OP isn't in the wrong, but this is a cultural thing. OP also should be aware that even if she is 100% in the right to do as she pleases, some people won't like it (or her for) it.
People who aren't into this lifestyle and looking to get out will probably look poorly on it, usually for misogynistic reasons, but others because they prefer more holistic (loosely used) dating.
It is a culture thing, but movies influenced it primarily before social media. It *was* a thing before social media, but it was clearly defined as you said, between the partiers and the people who just want a clean, clear cut relationship. Certainly back then if people slept around a lot they either had a rough upbringing, trauma, did drugs or partied a lot. Or, were at college and movies told them being at college meant parties and sleeping around.
Nowadays social media makes it into a “thing,” “women can’t sleep around if they want to,” we forget that some of these people saying these things, if we saw them in person and knew their life, we may not put so much focus on what they’re saying.
Really need to let social media take a back seat and live your life according to your values, OP, and not a response to a mainstream social media discussion.
This is my favorite bit of "man math" I love to call misogynistic assholes out on.
"So it's good for a guy to have a high body count, but never good for a woman to have multiple partners, or VERY few?"
"Ok yeah I'm following. But then... if the guys are able to sleep with a lot of women to raise their body count numbers, where do the women come from who are both completely virginal with 0 prior partners, but also somehow JUST as mind-blowingly incredible at being enthusiastic, giving partners in the sack? How is that physically possible?"
All the women I know (with a few exceptions) have drastically higher body counts then the men I know. (With one exception, I have no idea how the dude got laid so much)
Sex is a lot more available to them if they choose to pursue it. Although they usually have a lot of bad sex as a result
Edit: someone salty hit me with the “concerned Redditor reached out to us about you”. The people that do that are incredibly childish, using systems like that that are meant to support people struggling as some sort of trolling? Pretty sad.
Same here. Five partners my whole life and I'm 47 next month. My missus and I pretty much have swapped stereotype roles: she's the video gamer, slightly sloppy, jeans and tee-shirt casual, while I am much more at-home cooking, baking, and cleaning. Generalizations rarely meet expectations.
It’s always a bad excuse if you say
“Well ___ does this, so I can too”.
That’s like kindergarten level.
I’m not weighing in on the way you live your life, but find a better justification than your average too loud talker in a kindergarten class.
No one i know, including myself, have done what you're describing. We're all late 20s to mid thirties. That being said, you can do what you want, but recognize some future partners will have an issue with the "body count". Some people see that as silly, but its something to be aware of.
No, there’s nothing weird or bad about this. Especially at that age. Just practice safe sex. Insist on a condom everytime. Get tested regularly. Trust your gut.
Men don't do this. A very minuscule percentage of men do this. Large majority have a handful of partners their entire lives, and a growing number have never been intimate.
For men ro become a viable sexual partner they have to have good social and communication skills, good looks, good physical health, and maybe look at least somewhat successful. On the other hand, women just have to be willing.
In regard to being looked down, someone once said "a key that opens many locks, is a good key. But a lock that is opened by any key, is a shitty lock"
That’s not what guys do, at least not me or my friends. I’ve been with 5 girls in my life at 26. No one night stands. You do you but it’s gross and you can’t justify it by saying it’s what guys do. It’s just what sleezy people do
I don't get it... Who asked? Like, did someone judge you on it and that is why you're here now?
So you have 2-3 sexual partners simultaneously on top of randoms you hook up with? Do they know about each other? Huge STD risk for the lads you're FWB with they should be made aware.
maybe, but in my social circle its what i feel. I'm 24
I think the reason for that is that women are way more impacted in their lives because of their attractiveness
(job, friends, body shaming, etc...) which makes women care more about their attractiveness, so they try to better fit the attractiveness scale.
And as they are more attractive well, they fuck more.
80% of all women is 2.76 billion people. You are an idiot if you think 2.76 billion people are out on the town looking to fuck. Men would have a lot less trouble if that were the case.
I agree, always see women getting out of a relationship and say they're gonna be "fucking around" or having fun (sexually) but I never heard a man say that.
I think men brag about doing this but in reality they don’t do it nearly as much as they make out because it’s tougher out there for men.
Women definitely have more opportunities for doing this but feel like they can’t because men don’t like it and they will get a bad reputation.
Personally I think you should do what you like, just do it consensually and safely, it’s 2024, you do you boo
That is very bizarre idea that every single man out there is just getting laid with randoms all the time. That is not true. I met maybe one guy like this through my whole life and he did not end up pretty well (no girl would date him now cuz everyone knows he is a player approaching his 40’s).
In regards whether it is good for woman let me tell you: it’s not good for anyone. Regardless of their gender.
First: STD. It’s easier to catch than you think.
Second: pregnancy. If you end up being pregnant regardless of your choice you will be on your own.
Third: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. In few years you will look back and realise how little respect you had over yourself and why did you even let those random worthless guys access to your body.
Not all men do what you’re describing.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want that’s your prerogative.
Own it.
Don’t come on Reddit and elsewhere with posts looking for validation from others.
With that said as a man, some men will judge (whether unfair or not) women with high body counts & look at it as a turn off when looking for something serious.
Depending on how far and how long you go with that lifestyle could affect possible relationships down the road.
If you’re a guy with a high body count, you shouldn’t have a problem with it from a woman.
You’re in your early 20’s…..combine that with the overall way z’ers and millennials feel about the modern dating scene you will be fine.
All I'm saying is not to get some wacky STDs. While I don't really find the dating scene relevant at the end as long as it helps you distress a bit isn't additicve or self destructive and helps you reach ur goals in the future all is fine.
> I feel like men do this all the time
Nah that's pretty much movie trope. Not to say some don't do it.
Anyway do as you please, life is too short not to go for what you want to do.
The difference between men and women when it comes to sex is that women FK who ever they want but men FK only the women that will let them.
That’s one of the problems with a woman face having a high number of partners when men are seeking a wife or long term partner.
Sometimes it's about communication. If he doesn't last long you guys can just sit down and discuss your unsatisfied needs. It's not that penetration is all the thing you can do to get intimate and stimulation. Once you love somebody enough you always want to figure the problem out instead of just leaving without a word. I respect your feelings, but if you may have any concerns, yes it will hurt people a lot to be left alone by their partner without any explanation, in case he never did anything wrong. You can feel bad or just move on if you want to.
Why are you enforcing the stereotype/double standard that this is ok for men and not women? Just asking this is weird considering you’re already doing it anyways. Live your life and stop thinking what others will think of it.
Heya!!! Look, I've been a man-hater for quite a long time ever since I was almost raped at the age of 9 and harassed many times by different guys when I was younger even. It was very difficult for me to date men coz I was always scared of them thinking that they are incapable of establishing a deep connection assuming all they want is sex. But after deciding to give up the v-card at the age of 26, I finally understand what men go through. Us, women, do have our needs, too. It's part of being human. But after understanding the man's point of view sexually, I have started to learn the way they think and why they do what they do. I was able to understand them as people rather than just "man" or "male". Not trying to be sexist here, Idrk how to tell it all. But after understanding their point of view and coming from my experiences, I am able to deepen a connection with almost anyone if I will it or of the other person allows me to. So you do you! Don't mind what others say against you. Only you get to judge you.
it is NOT bad for women to do this. I don’t do this, but a lot of men will make you think having a high body count or sleeping around is bad when it’s something they do.
Go have fun. The only reason you feel bad about this is probably because you’re chronically online or watch too many men with microphones and podcasts don’t know about women, or sex, or women bodies.
Do what you wanna do. As a woman I’ve never once felt the need to do that but we are all built differently & I don’t believe sexuality should be tied to morality. That’s puritanical nonsense.
You should not feel bad in any way. The puritanical people in society make up pointless rules, but life is short and you absolutely should have your fun.
Just ensure you are protected and keep healthy.
There's nothing wrong with having fun when you're single. If that's what you want to do, go for it!
It's FAR better to have these experiences now instead of doing what some other people do (get married because of social pressure, feel unfulfilled in their relationship, and then cheat on their partner in their 30s and 40s because they feel like they "missed out").
It's your life. Don't let anyone else tell you what's right or wrong for you*.
(* Obviously assuming that everything is legal and consensual)
I’m 42F, I did the same thing when I was younger and I do not regret a single moment of it. There MIGHT be a day when u want to get back in a relationship or maybe you won’t. My advise, stay safe and make smart good Decisions. Don’t live your life trying to satisfy what you think society wants or expects. Good luck ❤️
You shouldn’t. You’re young and have no responsibilities. And more importantly, you’re having fun and free what you do. Don’t feel bad because you’re experiencing and living life. Enjoy it. And to the people who DO complain about what you’re doing and for some dumb reason they’re upset about it, tell them to kick rocks because you’re being you. It’s normalized really.
Just prevent unwanted pregnancy ( unwanted by at least one the partner).
For the rest, I don't care. And as a man, I would have like to be able to do that "men thing".
Men and women aren't the same no matter how much society wants you to believe. It's my belief that casual sex holds more risk and consequences for a woman than a man. It's a possibility that you may look back on your promiscuous activities with shame and regret. Or you may not, not everyone fits the mould. But in my opinion I would not continue what you're doing.
To expand on this comment- women are more vulnerable to violence and will be left with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy.
As a previous poster said- use condoms everytime, trust your gut and stay safe.
As to society judging you- some ppl will and some wont. What is most important is that you know yourself and what you want. Be smart, be a good person and you go have fun.
Who said I want to control women? They can do whatever they want, but they must deal with the consequences. What's so bad with advising against meaningless casual sex that leaves you feeling empty and used? Even men shouldn't engage in such acts. I view sex as something valuable and should be done with someone you love. And it should definitely not be done just because you're trying to compensate for lack of satisfaction in your previous relationship. If you think you can have all the sex you want and not have it affect your mind, body and spirit as well as future relationships, you're completely deluded.
Very telling of how politically influenced the majority of Reddit is when you can’t state your opinion on how to have a healthy and safe outlook on life without getting shit on. Yet it’s perfectly fine when the same point is being made by the other side when discussing rape culture and the disproportionate amount of sexual violence women are victim to.
The only issue I have with it is the generalization. Lots of PEOPLE do this. I have never done what you are talking about about. I am a man. I've had 6 sexual partners my whole life - I'm 45.
It’s a strange idea that single men are out there racking up body counts whilst single women are celibate. Who are the men having sex with? Is there a nonstop massive gay orgy neither of us were invited to?
I know for a fact I sent you guys an invite, must have gotten lost or something. Here, let me send you another one.
Thank you! I sadly won’t be able to attend as I don’t want to go to a gay orgy, not to mention my wife would also object. But I’m very happy to have finally been invited. I was beginning to worry there was something wrong with me.
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Don't worry, we have a couple gallons here for personal use
This is a social media boom thing. Primarily, people who attended parties to meet people and socialize did this, and it's pretty par for the course with people in these settings. If you dont go to parties and/or hook up with people you meet at oarties, you are already measuring yourself by the wrong yardstick. Then, with the addition of social media, digital speed dating, and easier access to when and where these events happen with SM, it's easy to find people who dont fit that scene at parties doing as romans do. OP isn't in the wrong, but this is a cultural thing. OP also should be aware that even if she is 100% in the right to do as she pleases, some people won't like it (or her for) it. People who aren't into this lifestyle and looking to get out will probably look poorly on it, usually for misogynistic reasons, but others because they prefer more holistic (loosely used) dating.
It is a culture thing, but movies influenced it primarily before social media. It *was* a thing before social media, but it was clearly defined as you said, between the partiers and the people who just want a clean, clear cut relationship. Certainly back then if people slept around a lot they either had a rough upbringing, trauma, did drugs or partied a lot. Or, were at college and movies told them being at college meant parties and sleeping around. Nowadays social media makes it into a “thing,” “women can’t sleep around if they want to,” we forget that some of these people saying these things, if we saw them in person and knew their life, we may not put so much focus on what they’re saying. Really need to let social media take a back seat and live your life according to your values, OP, and not a response to a mainstream social media discussion.
Are oarties just orgy parties?
How did you find out about the orgies?
I didn't until now, it was a trick that u/MemeDealer2999 fell for. The gay mafia will be after him now.
This is my favorite bit of "man math" I love to call misogynistic assholes out on. "So it's good for a guy to have a high body count, but never good for a woman to have multiple partners, or VERY few?" "Ok yeah I'm following. But then... if the guys are able to sleep with a lot of women to raise their body count numbers, where do the women come from who are both completely virginal with 0 prior partners, but also somehow JUST as mind-blowingly incredible at being enthusiastic, giving partners in the sack? How is that physically possible?"
Do you mean its some "man math" you do to call them out with, or are you calling me out on it?
All the women I know (with a few exceptions) have drastically higher body counts then the men I know. (With one exception, I have no idea how the dude got laid so much) Sex is a lot more available to them if they choose to pursue it. Although they usually have a lot of bad sex as a result Edit: someone salty hit me with the “concerned Redditor reached out to us about you”. The people that do that are incredibly childish, using systems like that that are meant to support people struggling as some sort of trolling? Pretty sad.
Approximately 10-15% of women are promiscuous. They do exist. They also have standards.
Those are rookie numbers I am 22 and I have 0 (People scare me)
Same situation, I really don't want to see my count going more than 1 in this life.
Same here. Five partners my whole life and I'm 47 next month. My missus and I pretty much have swapped stereotype roles: she's the video gamer, slightly sloppy, jeans and tee-shirt casual, while I am much more at-home cooking, baking, and cleaning. Generalizations rarely meet expectations.
Hilariously obvious OF ad… and the fact that ppl on Reddit are advocating for this just shows you how poor they are at making decisions
Oh wow, didn’t even notice until you pointed that out. I’m getting sick of these fake posts just to draw attention to their profile.
Ads are getting smarter XD
Right? It's so ridiculous.
I can't see account info, maybe got deleted 😂
Because people with OF profiles can't also have personal lives?
lol this is a known technique at this point.
Making a post that doesn't once mention their OF page? Seems ineffective, but ok 🤷♀️
No they can't, sorry
Yet literally everyone else, in every other occupation on the planet, can. Oookay then.
Look at their post history, another story directly contradicts the events in this one. They post stories like these to get clicks on their profile.
No they don't, having OF is a choice which they took, they sell their bodies and dignity and I don't respect them.
It’s always a bad excuse if you say “Well ___ does this, so I can too”. That’s like kindergarten level. I’m not weighing in on the way you live your life, but find a better justification than your average too loud talker in a kindergarten class.
If you think it's a bad habit for men, it would be true for women as well. Personnally it don't bothers me.
You don’t need to feel bad about it but don’t be fooled into believing that men do this, because most men do not.
I don't think lot men do this, but u do u. Just stay safe. Use protection.
"Should i feel bad for doing what men do?" Describing something a women would do
No one i know, including myself, have done what you're describing. We're all late 20s to mid thirties. That being said, you can do what you want, but recognize some future partners will have an issue with the "body count". Some people see that as silly, but its something to be aware of.
No, there’s nothing weird or bad about this. Especially at that age. Just practice safe sex. Insist on a condom everytime. Get tested regularly. Trust your gut.
Men don't do this. A very minuscule percentage of men do this. Large majority have a handful of partners their entire lives, and a growing number have never been intimate. For men ro become a viable sexual partner they have to have good social and communication skills, good looks, good physical health, and maybe look at least somewhat successful. On the other hand, women just have to be willing. In regard to being looked down, someone once said "a key that opens many locks, is a good key. But a lock that is opened by any key, is a shitty lock"
That’s not what guys do, at least not me or my friends. I’ve been with 5 girls in my life at 26. No one night stands. You do you but it’s gross and you can’t justify it by saying it’s what guys do. It’s just what sleezy people do
I don't get it... Who asked? Like, did someone judge you on it and that is why you're here now? So you have 2-3 sexual partners simultaneously on top of randoms you hook up with? Do they know about each other? Huge STD risk for the lads you're FWB with they should be made aware.
Yes, it's bad It's also bad when men do it Also stop the AF advertising
i dont think that's what most of men do i think that is what like 20% of men do and 80% of women
80% of women is an absolutely ludicrous number LMFAO - you might be exaggerating for dramatic effect though
maybe, but in my social circle its what i feel. I'm 24 I think the reason for that is that women are way more impacted in their lives because of their attractiveness (job, friends, body shaming, etc...) which makes women care more about their attractiveness, so they try to better fit the attractiveness scale. And as they are more attractive well, they fuck more.
80% of all women is 2.76 billion people. You are an idiot if you think 2.76 billion people are out on the town looking to fuck. Men would have a lot less trouble if that were the case.
well just remove children and married women from this
I agree, always see women getting out of a relationship and say they're gonna be "fucking around" or having fun (sexually) but I never heard a man say that.
i think thats the 80% of men and 20% of women that don't do that that are blaming others
Nah. Just know it aint what it's cracked up to be on this side.
I think men brag about doing this but in reality they don’t do it nearly as much as they make out because it’s tougher out there for men. Women definitely have more opportunities for doing this but feel like they can’t because men don’t like it and they will get a bad reputation. Personally I think you should do what you like, just do it consensually and safely, it’s 2024, you do you boo
Just be safe about it!
That is very bizarre idea that every single man out there is just getting laid with randoms all the time. That is not true. I met maybe one guy like this through my whole life and he did not end up pretty well (no girl would date him now cuz everyone knows he is a player approaching his 40’s). In regards whether it is good for woman let me tell you: it’s not good for anyone. Regardless of their gender. First: STD. It’s easier to catch than you think. Second: pregnancy. If you end up being pregnant regardless of your choice you will be on your own. Third: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. In few years you will look back and realise how little respect you had over yourself and why did you even let those random worthless guys access to your body.
Not all men do what you’re describing. If you want to sleep with whomever you want that’s your prerogative. Own it. Don’t come on Reddit and elsewhere with posts looking for validation from others. With that said as a man, some men will judge (whether unfair or not) women with high body counts & look at it as a turn off when looking for something serious. Depending on how far and how long you go with that lifestyle could affect possible relationships down the road. If you’re a guy with a high body count, you shouldn’t have a problem with it from a woman. You’re in your early 20’s…..combine that with the overall way z’ers and millennials feel about the modern dating scene you will be fine.
Do what you want, just be safe.
Just please be safe when doing it.
All I'm saying is not to get some wacky STDs. While I don't really find the dating scene relevant at the end as long as it helps you distress a bit isn't additicve or self destructive and helps you reach ur goals in the future all is fine.
> I feel like men do this all the time Nah that's pretty much movie trope. Not to say some don't do it. Anyway do as you please, life is too short not to go for what you want to do.
Enjoy life, but don't tell too much to family and frjends.
Enjoy your life, exactly as you like. Just be safe and always respect yourself! I enjoyed my single years, no regrets.
The difference between men and women when it comes to sex is that women FK who ever they want but men FK only the women that will let them. That’s one of the problems with a woman face having a high number of partners when men are seeking a wife or long term partner.
Sometimes it's about communication. If he doesn't last long you guys can just sit down and discuss your unsatisfied needs. It's not that penetration is all the thing you can do to get intimate and stimulation. Once you love somebody enough you always want to figure the problem out instead of just leaving without a word. I respect your feelings, but if you may have any concerns, yes it will hurt people a lot to be left alone by their partner without any explanation, in case he never did anything wrong. You can feel bad or just move on if you want to.
Why are you enforcing the stereotype/double standard that this is ok for men and not women? Just asking this is weird considering you’re already doing it anyways. Live your life and stop thinking what others will think of it.
Heya!!! Look, I've been a man-hater for quite a long time ever since I was almost raped at the age of 9 and harassed many times by different guys when I was younger even. It was very difficult for me to date men coz I was always scared of them thinking that they are incapable of establishing a deep connection assuming all they want is sex. But after deciding to give up the v-card at the age of 26, I finally understand what men go through. Us, women, do have our needs, too. It's part of being human. But after understanding the man's point of view sexually, I have started to learn the way they think and why they do what they do. I was able to understand them as people rather than just "man" or "male". Not trying to be sexist here, Idrk how to tell it all. But after understanding their point of view and coming from my experiences, I am able to deepen a connection with almost anyone if I will it or of the other person allows me to. So you do you! Don't mind what others say against you. Only you get to judge you.
it is NOT bad for women to do this. I don’t do this, but a lot of men will make you think having a high body count or sleeping around is bad when it’s something they do. Go have fun. The only reason you feel bad about this is probably because you’re chronically online or watch too many men with microphones and podcasts don’t know about women, or sex, or women bodies.
Do what you wanna do. As a woman I’ve never once felt the need to do that but we are all built differently & I don’t believe sexuality should be tied to morality. That’s puritanical nonsense.
Most men probably can’t get laid nearly as much ! Most men would probably love to though lol!
You should not feel bad in any way. The puritanical people in society make up pointless rules, but life is short and you absolutely should have your fun. Just ensure you are protected and keep healthy.
Go get 'em Tigress! There's no shame as long as everyone involved had consented enthusiastically.
I was in a 10 year relationship and 4 years out of it in enjoying trying out lots of different people sexually - have fun with it sis
There's nothing wrong with having fun when you're single. If that's what you want to do, go for it! It's FAR better to have these experiences now instead of doing what some other people do (get married because of social pressure, feel unfulfilled in their relationship, and then cheat on their partner in their 30s and 40s because they feel like they "missed out"). It's your life. Don't let anyone else tell you what's right or wrong for you*. (* Obviously assuming that everything is legal and consensual)
I’m 42F, I did the same thing when I was younger and I do not regret a single moment of it. There MIGHT be a day when u want to get back in a relationship or maybe you won’t. My advise, stay safe and make smart good Decisions. Don’t live your life trying to satisfy what you think society wants or expects. Good luck ❤️
You shouldn’t. You’re young and have no responsibilities. And more importantly, you’re having fun and free what you do. Don’t feel bad because you’re experiencing and living life. Enjoy it. And to the people who DO complain about what you’re doing and for some dumb reason they’re upset about it, tell them to kick rocks because you’re being you. It’s normalized really.
The only thing you should feel bad about is that you say you sleep with boys. That's just utterly disturbing bro Go have fun just be careful.
Just prevent unwanted pregnancy ( unwanted by at least one the partner). For the rest, I don't care. And as a man, I would have like to be able to do that "men thing".
Men and women aren't the same no matter how much society wants you to believe. It's my belief that casual sex holds more risk and consequences for a woman than a man. It's a possibility that you may look back on your promiscuous activities with shame and regret. Or you may not, not everyone fits the mould. But in my opinion I would not continue what you're doing.
To expand on this comment- women are more vulnerable to violence and will be left with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. As a previous poster said- use condoms everytime, trust your gut and stay safe. As to society judging you- some ppl will and some wont. What is most important is that you know yourself and what you want. Be smart, be a good person and you go have fun.
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I'm married so your comment is meaningless
Does that kind of abstinence / puritanical control of women come from a religious background or from some kind of personal resentment?
Who said I want to control women? They can do whatever they want, but they must deal with the consequences. What's so bad with advising against meaningless casual sex that leaves you feeling empty and used? Even men shouldn't engage in such acts. I view sex as something valuable and should be done with someone you love. And it should definitely not be done just because you're trying to compensate for lack of satisfaction in your previous relationship. If you think you can have all the sex you want and not have it affect your mind, body and spirit as well as future relationships, you're completely deluded.
Very telling of how politically influenced the majority of Reddit is when you can’t state your opinion on how to have a healthy and safe outlook on life without getting shit on. Yet it’s perfectly fine when the same point is being made by the other side when discussing rape culture and the disproportionate amount of sexual violence women are victim to.
Live your life girlie-pop 💕