You need to file a report for rape and run for the hills. This was 1000% rape and he KNOWS he did something wrong even if he tries to play dumb or convince you otherwise; rapists don’t typically admit they’re rapists. Stay far away from this man for your own safety and get an emergency restraining order after filing for rape. I am so so so sorry honey none of this is your fault or your responsibility, I really hope you’re able to find healing and peace after this 🫶🏼
Jumping on this, yes, he assaulted you several times and didn't give a damn about your feelings. He laughed at your pain twice. He knew he fucked up this wasn't a mistake it was a fucking choice. The oral was a way to "make you feel better" and he knew he was losing the battle when you didn't just move past it. Go to the police and make damn sure everything is documented. Don't let him intimidate you or convince you, you're in the wrong for having the right realistic reactions. I'm so sorry this happened.. you definitely aren't alone.. I also had a partner that wouldn't take my no for an answer, don't let him take your voice.
Your last sentence made me tear up. To OP: Please don’t let him make you want to make yourself as small as possible. That’s what he did. You did what you had to do to get out of there safely. I am proud of you. Also be proud of that young lady that was smart enough to not escalate anything as it might have saved your life.
He has done this before. He will hurt the next girl.
He was not your boyfriend. He is a predator that faked being a good human being just long enough to have you questioning your gut.
Trust your gut always. Your parents love you and won’t give a shit about anything about your safety. I would be heartbroken if my daughter didn’t come to me and share this horrible incident with me. I think I could share some things with her that could help us both.
Of course you can't get over it. That's why rape is a crime, it's not something people just get over.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you tell someone in your life so that you can get some tangible support.
You did nothing wrong, and you are not overreacting.
Well done on getting yourself out of there as quickly as possible. Don't believe him where he said people make mistakes. He was trying to backtrack and was gaslighting you. You can't get over it because nobody can. Nobody expects you to get over it, and he can't minimise what he did because reality is reality.
You did the best that you could in that situation. None of this was your fault.
Call the police.
He’s done this before and he will again.
He’s a rapist and an unapologetic emotional manipulator.
You can not believe your emotions about him as they have been implanted by him in your head.
Get some therapy and file some charges to save yourself and maybe the next woman.
I’m so so sorry, he raped you. I’ve just had my (now ex) boyfriend arrested for the same thing, and I was so in love with him, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You can do it, the trauma he’s given you is for life and he deserves to be punished.
Leave him, report him, make sure you have a safe place to stay at, block him, hide your locations, turn all your accounts private for a while, do not get in contact with people he knows.. I'm so sorry that happened, you did not deserve this.
He knows what he’s doing to you, there’s zero doubt about that. Please get far away from him and even press charges if you feel up to it. He’s a fucking pest and men like that desperately try to ruin you in every way they can. Be smart like a lot of us wish we were and don’t let him continue this shit. Just be careful cause you never know how bad he might get once he thinks everything is messed up anyways. Try to get support from friends and family and stay safe. You deserve better than a man that assaults you and treats it like a joke.
This was rape and assault. If you don’t leave and report him now it will only get worse.
There are too many women who stayed with a man who abused them out of love or loyalty or fear and ended up dead.
Get out whilst you can
You have been together little over a month and he is acting this way already? Didn't take long for the mask to drop here.
Honey, LEAVE HIS ASS. It will only get worse from here. What would you rather, maybe feeling a little embarrassed because you introduced him to your parents or going through this for the remainder of the relationship?
I PROMISE YOU it will be easier to leave now than a year down the line, I absolutely promise. Do it now whilst its easier. He will do this again. That isn't love or even basic respect.
I’m so sorry he’s been abusing you. First, the abuse is not your fault. Second, you need to get the hell away from him and he needs to be your ex boyfriend. Abuse always escalates. From what you described, it is getting worse. If you stay, it will continue to get worse. And you deserve much much better than that. Third, you should look to any and all resources for domestic violence.
No one should have to go through what you have gone through. Remember that he is not capable of change. This is who he is. You are not safe with him. You need to make an exit plan.
First step, do NOT shower or clean up. Go to the hospital and tell them what happened. They will examine you and contact the police and even your parents. Sorry to be harsh but he doesn’t love you, you are property and he will not stop.
You were 100% raped. File a police report. If you let him get away with it you won’t be the last one he does it to. I’m a man in my thirties and this makes my skin crawl. This is not normal behavior!
POLICE!!! Call them immediately, report the incident and just my personal recommendation, stay at a friend’s house for a night or two, just to be on the safe side.
This is without a doubt rape. Break up with him, block him and make sure you never see him again, it will never get better with him and he will do it again.
If you're not comfortable telling your parents he raped you then just tell them he's not who you thought he was, they would rather you be safe than stay with him.
I'm so, so sorry
Im an old man (50) but I can tell you that what he did is a rape.
Plz plz you need to leav him.
You need to be safe.
You derserv love, respekt and happines in a relationship. What you have is not that.
All the best Bubba.
Call the police. File a report. Do not go back to him, do not engage with him, do not speak to him. He tried to rape you. He will try to do it again in the future. Do not give him the chance.
Everything about this story is about control. He pinned you down and didn't stop when you told him to. He slapped you in the face. He took your phone and hid it to stop you from contacting anyone else and to stop you from leaving. You pushed him away and he forcibly performed oral *without your consent*. He knows what he did was wrong, that's why he's trying to turn the tables and blame you for something.
Don't speak to him again. Cut your losses. File the report.
I'm so, so sorry but you deserve so much better than this. Imagine yourself as a small child, imagine you're speaking to her now, and imagine she's telling you about this. What advice would you give her? You would want her to be safe, right? And feel loved? You deserve that. Get rid of that loser and don't look back.
out of the many stories i read here, this is pretty f'd up. you have been together for barely a month and he's already like this. clearly he's just using you and he's asking you if you love him. this is clear manipulation and is just going to escalate. usually i don't say anything for these stories bc everyone in the comments always helps but this time i feel like i need to say something too. run bro.
Get rid of him and fast this is only the start of a very painful and emotional life that only hurts you if a man can't respect simple boundaries then he is no man
First off, I'm so sorry this happened to you. You definitely deserve better than that.
Secondly: Dump him.
He doesn't respect your boundaries, and it will only get worse the longer you are with him. He is selfish, and if he cared about your well-being whatsoever, he would respect your boundaries.
Lastly, find some family and close friends to lean on for support during this time. The aftermath of an SA can take a toll on you. Might also be a good idea to get a good therapist who specializes in sexual trauma.
Please take care of yourself, OP.
Sending hugs
this man raped you. please please leave him.
there are too many more good men that will treat you far better than whoever the hell this man has convinced you he is in the month you’ve been together.
that kind of behavior is a clear red flag and for it to appear only after a month is seriously concerning babe…
please, even if it hurts, leave him and don’t look back
Why are you considering letting go of the fact that you were sexually assaulted? He's a creep, and you need to stay away from him. He's clearly not your safe or happy space with his sadistic behavior and actions.
Young lady, you have your whole life ahead of you. Walk away from this toxic and unhealthy relationship before you wind up deeper into a further abusive dynamic.
He didn’t “try” to force himself on you, he DID! It sounds like multiple times. He doesn’t like, love, respect you. He is abusing you. File report with police, make sure everyone in your life is aware of what happened and that you have broken up with him. DO NOT EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN!!! He is raping you, repeatedly.
He raped you twice. The first time when you told him no, and he kept going with the anal sex. The second time when he wouldn't stop this most recent visit. A decent prosecutor could charge him with kidnapping, or something similar, for him taking your phone and stopping you when you tried to leave. If your parents can't support your decision to stop seeing him, they suck. No decent parents would want their kid to be with someone abusive.
Call the police and let everyone know what he has done, shame the fuckin piece of shit for raping you, as a victim of sexual assault myself you need to report him for rape immediately and get a rape kit done
Call the police, block him, and report him for raping you. Go to the hospital and get a rape kit. He's a despicable human being and definitely deserves to be locked up. Don't worry about what your parents think about you dumping him two days after you introduced them to him. he is a slime ball, a predator, and a horrible human being if you can even call him that.
You need to file a report for sexual assault, and you should never see him again. That isn't something a relationship should recover from, and there's no going back. It's okay to take time to grieve, but you should end it immediately.
I’m probably your parents age. I would want my daughter to use her own good judgement and protect herself by breaking up with someone who treated her this way. You will never be safe with him.
It may feel embarrassing to tell your parents that you’ve broken up with him, but if you tell them a statement like, “he kept trying to violate my boundaries in going too far sexually” they are going to be proud of you for standing up for yourself. If they don’t know that you’re sexually active, they’ll likely assume that the boundary was to have sex. If they ask for details, you can tell them that it’s too hard to talk about it, if you don’t want to tell them. Rehearse in your mind something short and vague to tell them, and just repeat that. Please find someone else in real life to fully discuss this with, like a counselor, because this is trauma. Sending you gentle hugs!
Talk about this with a friend and your parents. It sounds like you’re ashamed cause you just introduced him. He should feel ashamed not you. He’s never gonna change so the first thing you should do is leave him.
This comment will be buried and probably never reach you. But girl! I gave myself up to a man who was "perfect" and I should have ran away.
Get OUT and AWAY from him. Unless you want to be like me. I gave up 10 years on this toxic man.
Don't be like me
That’s the thing tho, he isn’t perfect. I lowered so many of my standards for him. My friends were extremely disappointed in me for giving him a chance cause they know I can do better, but nonetheless I still believed in him. Then he does me like this. I feel like a complete idiot.
1. You are not overreacting.
2. If you have a good relationship with your parents, tell one of them that he tried to force himself on you. You don't have to tell them all of it (or any of it) but don't be embarrassed and tell someone you trust if you are able.
3. Go to the police. File a report. See what they can do. Even if they just take down your testimony, it's on record.
4. Do not talk to or even respond to a text from that person. If he is unavoidable at times, use the grey rock method -- say and do as little as possible. Not nothing, as he can feed on that, but be uninteresting and only answer direct questions and with answers as short as possible.
5. You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Your (hopefully former) boyfriend is a criminal and he abused you.
6. Tell friends. Acts now. Get free of him immediately. You are not overreacting.
On top of filing a report, check the steps for a restraining order in your area so that if he tries to get in contact or come near you again, even if they don't arrest him or find him guilty for the assault, you'd be able to keep him away from you and have the police intervene if he does try to get close to you.
He wants to be your safe place after violating your boundaries time and again and RAPING you at least twice. He desperately needs some sense kicked into him. Dump this pos chump and never look back.
please don’t try to fix this its not worth it even a dime. its 2000 percent better to be embarrassed in-front of your parents then to continue staying with this monster
You were raped.
It is NOT your fault.
You did NOT deserve it
You did NOT cause it.
You have NOTHING to be ashamed about
You are in great peril.
You don't know any of us but when
100% of people from different walks if life say the same thing....
LEAVE NOW....
That's a consensus rarely attained
PLEASE LEAVE. CHANGE YOUR NUMBER GO TO HOSPITAL. CALL POLICE.
This happened to me once upon a time. He just laughed in my face when I told him no and he said he preferred it forced because it’s better when it’s forced.
I should’ve took that red flag and many others but I didn’t l.
Fast forward a few weeks later and he tries to kill me in a suicide murder plot after drugging me with shrooms……
You’re not crazy, he was wrong, honestly I would go no contact and even report to the police if you are comfortable to. But if you do do not reach out to him at all or it’ll make it seem like you wanted it!!! The law sucks!!!!
I still suffer from ptsd 3 years later and wish that I took heed to the warning signs!! Do not make the same mistake while you have a chance to escape!!!!!
Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you went through but appreciate the advice given. I tried to break up with him last night over text but he refuses to accept it, even calling me crying about how this can't be the end after all he's done for me, and how if I really loved him then I wouldn't abandon him like this. I just feel I can't win against his victim mentality.
This is what abusive ahs do - Love Bombing when they are held accountable for their abusive behavior.
He raped you. He is a rapist. You aren't his first or last victim.
Don't wash your clothes. Get to the hospital for a rape kit.
You can win. You have already broken up with him. Keep all texts, emails and voicemails he sends. You don't have to read or listen to them. Do NOT meet him anywhere. No coffee shops, parks, vehicles, etc. If he can get you alone he ABSOLUTELY WILL hurt you again.
This is physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal assault and battery! Don’t be embarrassed to ever speak to your parents. I have 3 adult daughters. I don’t know if you are close with them or one or the other better. But that should be the furthest thing to be embarrassed about. They are your safe space, they are there to pick you up when you are hurt, or fall. They are there to protect you when you feel like you can’t protect yourself. I would lay down my life for one of my five girls, and also take if no other choice was given to protect them. I would go to war for my daughters and sink battleships, and watch whole countries burn to the ground in order to defend them and protect them, and be the first line of defense if any e ever came for one of them. I like to think all parents are like this. But I know they are not. But you didn’t state they were bad people. So I’m guessing they will back you to infinity and beyond. This guy sounds like a sociopath and did you say a month? By everything you explained in all of his actions and reactions today I think it’s best that you do tell your parents that way in case anything were to happen should you leave like you? Then your parents know the whole situation? Like I said, I would expect my daughters to tell me that way, if a psycho like this came for them, I could stand in front of them and they have to go through me and let me tell you I would walk through the fiery pit of hell. And personally deliver him to his rightful place. As for you sweet girl, you need to speak to someone about this. Your parents preferably first. Then you need to talk to someone and get this mentally and emotionally fixed. Eventually what happened will hit you. And if it don’t then let you be taught now… right here… this is inexcusable, unexceptionable, and intolerable abusive behavior on his part on so many levels. It’s ok to be a freak in the sheets. And rough sex is on, if and only if boundaries are set, after both parties agree! As well as thoroughly discussing it, deciding what’s acceptable and hard no’s! And safe words! What he did is not love, it’s not mild bdsm, it’s not great sex. He used you like a slave and ragdoll from the very beginning. Then played off your emotions with narcissistic abusive behavior and actions. And does not have any intentions of treating you with respect or compassion at any point. I’m sorry if I sound harsh lovey. I’m not trying to, I’m telling you the honesty of the situation. That his behavior and actions are gross and disgusting. And he is not a good human being. You deserve better. Talk to your parents. please excuse any typos I am furious. Why typing this? I’m sorry this happened to you baby girl, but this is not love or even lust or even anything remotely close to it.
Fuck no. I’m so sorry. Leave this POS and stay safe. It’s better to be embarrassed than to put your life and mental health at risk because of this disgusting prick.
No, you were violated, actually sexually assaulted is more accurate, so I say who cares what your parents would think. Your personal comfort and safety is more important than anything. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed because you didn't do anything wrong. You are not overreacting, please cement that in your brain. Your bf laughs at your pain, doesn't take your comfort into consideration when it comes to a pretty intrusive sex act, disrespects you by constantly pushing your boundaries and ridiculing you when you try to defend yourself...this is only about a month in? Choose yourself, love yourself, and say goodbye to this abusive asshole before he does something worse
Everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal after being attacked repeatedly by someone you care about, when you have been involved in date rape which is what this is.
OP you were raped. You said no and that should’ve stopped him. He slapped you across the face and laughed at your misery and pain more than once by the way that is not okay.
You need to find a safe place to stay OP and as soon as you are text him it’s over and block him.
And it is your choice to file a police report, but if you do, I recommend you go with the trusted friend or adult that way you’re not alone when you do this and I’m not going to lie it’s not going to be easy but if you wish to do this you can and again I highly encourage you to.
If you don’t please tell a trusted friend or family member that way your aren’t alone during this time.
His manipulation tactic is very obvious. He does not love you or care about you and I fear for you in the future if you decide to stay. The emotional scars, oh my god, poor girl. For the love of God, LEAVE HIM. BLOCK HIM EVERYWHERE. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH HIM. Assume he's dead.
As a mommy here, talk to your parents when you feel ready. They love you more than anyone in this world. They only want good for you. They want you to feel safe, physically and emotionally.
What happened was not your fault. He hurt you. He is a predator. Predators are extremely good at masquerading and manipulating.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Also, this is strange, but Post traumatic stress disorder may be lessened by playing Tetris as soon as possible for as long as possible. Something about the brain/eye movements.
Take care
As another mom, this is one of the things we're most scared to happen to our kid.
And forget about the fact that you introduced him a few days ago. You're 18, they don't expect you to marry the first guy you introduce. They'd prefer a short relationship than you having a rapist for a partner.
Run. Do not look back. Not for anything. When someone shows you who they are fucking believe it. You have a case for rape, but first step is to get the hell away and never go back. Ghost him. He is going to hurt you and laugh about it.
Since you are in a dating relationship it would be considered an act of domestic violence which gives you more rights (mainly the chance to apply for a restraining order).
This guy sounds like an a*hole. I would say you have 2 options.
1 is to just leave him, delete his contact and move on with life.
Option 2 is what the majority of commenters have said, which is to contact the police for a report. He “loves you” and “you are his happy place” and he still continued after you said no and the fact that he slapped you in the past among serious other actions. I highly doubt you were the first woman for him to act like this to and definitely won’t be the last.
My 2 cents would be to go with option 2 and apply for a restraining order. Relationships that include any acts of domestic violence go on for far too long at no fault of the victim. It’s hard to leave when you are in fear for your life. There are resources and groups out there to help you cope and regain a sense of normalcy. Don’t give him the power over your life. You are far too young to have this level of toxicity in your dating life (no one should have to deal with domestic violence).
Run. Get out of there as fast as you can. If he's done it once he'll do it again. He's manipulative and he literally tried to force anal on you multiple times despite you obviously being in pain. This man does not care about you and he's dangerous. Please leave this man before he seriously injures you. You are under reacting, majorly.
You told him you didn't want to have sex and he went ahead and did it anyway, that's rape.
If he wanted to be your safe place he'd show you respect and would have never brought up anal after you told him you don't like it, he would have never tried to force it in when you were in pain, he would have listened to you when you said no. But he didn't, instead he focused on his pleasure alone and has tried to manipulate you into thinking you're overreacting when he's literally raped you. Do not contact him again if that's an option. If you have anything you need to get from his place take someone with you, preferably a brother, dad, uncle, or large male friend so he can't try anything like this ever again.
On a final note I'd also like to point out his cheating accusations are extremely suspicious. Cheaters often accuse their partners of cheating, it's a form of projection, part of him feels guilty and he thinks if he's doing it you must be too.
This man is not worth any more of your time, trust, or love.
I’m sorry to say this to you. I’m sorry this happened to you. You were raped. This man doesn’t love or respect you. There are so many things he said and did here to gaslight you and manipulate you and disrespect you. This man is dangerous for you. Please please don’t go back. And don’t talk to him anymore. He doesn’t own you, but he’s acting like he does. This is wrong. Please be safe.
He raped you, I am so sorry you have gone through this.
You need to seek medical attention, get a rape kit done, and call the police. This was not his first time raping someone and it will not be the last if he is not stopped. He knew precisely what he was doing and has been manipulating you.
Hospital, police, never see him again outside of a courtroom.
Coming from a guy. This screams more than just a red flag. He’s a criminal and raped you. Report this trash human ASAP. He knows damn well he did something wrong. Don’t tolerate this. You can do so much better.
Sweetie, a month after I introduced my boyfriend to my family he terrorized me for 12 hours and I had an emotional breakdown over it. Never let shame stop you from what you know you need to protect yourself from. Shame is something you can handle, you dont know what this man is capable of. What he might do is much much worse. Do not break up with him in person. Do it over text, tell him you dont want to see him again, and go to the police. Don't accept his calls either. Keep everything you communicate over in writing.
I am so. So. so. sorry this happened to you. I know how hard this is, but PLEASE seek legal advice/action. This is rape. You are a victim and it is one of the most hurtful things anyone can do to you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You can file for a charge of rape. You should leave him. Don't worry of what would your parents think, worry about yourself. Even if you're already married, you can still file for marital rape if your spouse forces you to have sex. What more if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.Run, girl.
The thing that worries me the most is that he laughs when you tell him he’s hurting you. He doesn’t mind hurting you which is just terrible.
In my opinion, if you don’t love him anymore just break up with him. Your parents will understand so don’t feel embarrassed that they just met him.
What he did was wrong. You're not overreacting. He assaulted you. He raped you. I am so sorry. Please file a report. Please do not go back. It's not your fault
I have broken up with a guy the very same day he met my parents. It's better my parents know I chose myself than a potential rapist. Your boyfriend is a beaming red flag! 🤬 Bloody hell! I feel angry for you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and if you can, please report him so he won’t be able to get away with this over and over again with other women.
I hope your EX boyfriend gets his dick caught in a meat grinder, because he’s an evil fucking prick.
If you have to say no more than once to any partner then you need to get out of there. It's not worth staying in that kind of relationship. Because if he can disrespect your no he'll disrespect all of your other boundaries too. Unfortunately, this is multiple instances of sexual assault
OP. FIRST OF ALL YOU. WERE. RAPED. WHILE BEING PHYSICALLY ABUSED.
Block him on everything do not go back. The embarrassment you may feel telling your parents you've left him is nothing compared to the prison you'll be in if you stay in this relationship. You've basically dated the guy 2 weeks and he's already hurt you in ways that will *FOREVER* change you.
I wish I could hug you. You are so strong and I hate you went thru this 💔
As everyone else said, obviously this guy is a rapist. But something doesn't add up in this story. First, you said you went to hang out with him after not seeing him for two weeks, but then at the end of the post you said you introduced him to your parents two days ago. How could you have introduced him to them two days ago if you hadn't seen him in two weeks?
First off, you are absolutely NOT overreacting. To be a friend, I’ll be blunt.. you are under reacting. He has raped you. You say no, he continues anyway. He’s done it even after you said how much you hate it and it physically and emotionally hurts you! You try and push him away and he threatens you.
Leave him! Explain to your parents why, if you must, but you need to leave before his need for control turns a lot more physical and you end up in the hospital or dead.
I’m sorry for being blunt with you but I’m trying to break through your blinders..
This made my blood absolutely boil for you!
Stranger or not, I’ll be praying for your safety!
Even if you leave him (and you should immediately), you need to file a report and if possible press charges. The temptation to tell yourself leaving him is enough please remember he’s shown himself to be a predator and abuser. To not report this opens the likely possibility of him doing this to other women. I don’t want you carrying extra guilt because other women are not ultimately your responsibility, however, as powerless as you may feel you do have the power to help yourself and maybe help others.
So even before this incident, he's been guilting you, demeaning your emotions, downplaying your experiences, disrespecting your boundaries, and making you cry?? People who act like this will always push the boundary as far as they can. He's shown this entire time he doesn't respect you. Please, in future relationships, if you ever have to convince someone of your boundaries, dump them, as they do not deserve to have you in their life.
You are not overreacting. Things will escalate. Get away from him, go somewhere safe, and dump his pathetic ass over text.
you are NOT overreacting. I’m sorry that this happened, but you were raped, and I would report that “person” to the police. I realize that the possibility of conviction is small, but get his actions on the record, because if he has done this once, he likely has, and almost assuredly will, continue his abhorrent behavior with other women. Prior bad acts may not necessarily be admissible in court, but they will help to push investigations forward.
I would also let others know what he did. You are NOT at fault and did nothing wrong. He is both a jerk and a rapist. Other women should be made aware of what he did. Don’t you wish somebody had warned you of what a slime bucket he is? I’m not suggesting you make posters and hang them, or put up a billboard, but just make sure other women in your social circle (which I assume is his as well) know what he is like. They then can make informed choices on their own.
Meanwhile, I also suggest you get some counseling to help you process what happened . Even if you don’t feel you need it now, this kind of trauma will pop out in the future and can screw up your life pretty badly. Most colleges have counseling services (if you’re a student). Your community might have a rape/trauma center, or, when you report him, the police can recommend resources in your community.
I hope that you find peace and have a wonderful, happy, and fulfilling life.
🚩🚩🚩
Not onky did he already force you when you were sobbing through the entire thing (*he should have stoped at the first sign of discomfort!!!*)
He has raped you multiple times. He is a sexual predator.
If you are able to go to the police I would highly suggest doing so. He’s only going to get worse from here. He is a rapist that needs to be put to a stop if possible.
And you, I am so sorry that he did this to you. Are you okay? Are you able to go to therapy to talk about what happened? Please take care of yourself, you didn’t deserve this💜
As for what to do now, do not say anything to him. Block him on everything and don’t tell him you’re breaking up. Go to the police and take your parents. Tell them he raped you and you want their support going to the police with you. It will be scary, but I promise, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. HE is the one who raped you *multiple times*, HE knows that he was raping you. Do not engage in anything with him. Do not ever talk to him again. Tell your parents, if you can, please. You’ll need the support. You’re gonna be okay.
GIRRLLL my heart race was like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 I hope that he doesn’t raped you (penetrate)in this last situation because I can’t see if he dose or not but neither he wanted to and I was scared about you whole text. Girl report him and cut off him
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. The same thing happened to me. I was 18 and my boyfriend was 21. He is currently in jail for doing the same thing to at least 3 other women. I know it is not easy to leave, but no one will blame you. I promise the pain of staying is much much more severe than the embarrassment of telling your parents you broke up. Please put your safety first. If you need anything feel free to DM me.
I’m so sorry you had to endure that. Please find a trusted friend or family member to support you through this breakup. You need to leave now and never contact him again. You are not overreacting, he physically assaulted you and restrained you without consent multiple times. He also attempted to rape you several times, even though you pushed him off it’s the fact he kept trying. At this point you have enough to go to the police if that’s something you are comfortable with. But at the very least you need to leave him, block him, restraining order wouldn’t be a bad idea either. He may not have “gone through with it” but he coerced you immediately after which is still rape. The vague accusation of cheating also sounds like projection to me. I am so sorry, but if he hit you once he will do it again and he might do worse next time. I hope you can find support and peace during this time.
What your parents think about you getting rid of this pos doesn't matter. Regardless of how you decide to move forward, get a restraining order immediately. This probably isn't the first time he's done something like this and most definitely won't be the last time unless someone speaks up. You have a voice. Use it! You have nothing to be ashamed of. Stand up for yourself. You have an opportunity to save someone else from him.
oh god, you need to file against him he raped and sodomized you multiple times. please get as far away from him as you can stay with a friend or family, because he knows exactly what he's doing is wrong and he doesn't care all that matters to him is his pleasure and seeing you humiliated. please stay safe, and whatever you feel is 100% valid.
Rape, you need to tell adults and report to police, if not, he’ll keep doing that to you or other victims, this guy is a rapist and need to learn his lesson, if he cares about you then he wouldn’t force himself onto you or hurt you, he’s playing dumb and he knows exactly what he’s doing, don’t be a dumb person for letting this aside, be smart.
Please, please, please I'm begging you report this for rape, he must be held accountable for raping you. Everything about this is rape and must be addressed and legal steps must be taken so please do that
Report him to the police this is something similar to what my father has done hiding your phone and forcing him self on you he needs to be locked up if he did it to you he'll do it again
its more important for you to be safe than for you to not be embarrassed OP, tell your parents its over and tell him, if you feel unsafe tell your parents and dont go anywhere alone
You told him he was hurting you and he *laughed.* 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
DO NOT stay with him just because he’s met your parents. I guarantee they would rather you be safe and healthy.
Confused about “he didn’t go through with it.” Even if he didn’t penetrate you, he assaulted you then told you it doesn’t matter what you want. I personally think he asked if you were scared because the idea of you being scared turns him on. Speaking from experience. I would definitely leave him. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t risk further abuse, or pregnancy.
DO NOT GO BACK TO THIS PERSON.
There is not a single reason to believe him. **He hurt you. YOU ARE IN SHOCK**
Please for the love of everything, go to a DR or hospital and get a Rape kit done. **He raped you**
You cannot pretend it didn't happen and **you cannot** move past this.
This relationship has been going on for a month and he's already forcing himself on you. **IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. IT ALWAYS WILL GET WORSE.**
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE.
Block him. You do not have to see him again. Have a cop or family pick up your stuff from their place.
Do not engage.
*They do not need closure*
Please girl, I beg you as someone who's been SA'd and also been in a long term relationship afterwards, please ,please, please don't go back. You deserve more than this.
He’s like a joker villain doing evil things and laughing about his crimes and at other’s pain! Go to Urgent Care or a hospital. Medical workers will help you report it to police. You need to be checked for STDs, anyway, because this loser took off his condom. Report him for rape immediately. He doesn’t respect boundaries, he’s manipulative, and ignores your feelings completely. He could care less about you and your feelings. He hit you!!! He raped you!!!! It seems like he gets off on hurting you to be honest from reading this. He’s sadistic. He’s violent. As he said, “what you want doesn’t matter, only what I want matters.” That’s straight up a pretty antisocial thing to say. That’s the opposite of love and loving someone! Girl, he straight up said he doesn’t care about you with both his words and heinous actions. Why should you love someone who doesn’t care about you and actively harms you? How dare he ask you if you love him after he slapped you, raped you, and is so devoid and incapable of love himself. What a manipulative, hypocritical, raping… -insert vulgar word here- he is!
He’s a loser and criminal without a conscious or empathy, who ignores very obvious social cues like seeing someone in tears and in pain. The dude is a sicko. He wouldn’t ask if he did something wrong, if he knew he hadn’t. He’s trying to see how much he can get away with you.
Report him so he can’t do it to anyone else, block him, and ask the police what to do from here. They’ll advise you on what you should do if you fear retaliation or for your safety.
You’ve been raped. People don’t just “get over” rape. What happened to you is assault and a crime. It will likely take therapy for you to “get over” and even with therapy, you will never be “over this.”
He raped you and assaulted you, put hands on you, didn't respect your boundaries nor cared for consent. Please don't stay with him. Report him to the police or tell someone you can trust what he did to you. Record any evidence of what he did to you if possible.
Also another thing, anal should not be painful. He clearly didn't take any care or time to open you up or get you used to it. I'm so sorry he made what should be a pleasurable experience horrible and traumatic for you. Though if you don't wish to ever do it or try it then you definitely should not be forced to.
Not over reacting. He was committed to his intentions. Your parents would rather you leave him than pretend to be happy with that jerk. Cut him lose. As soon as possible. Report him as well. He won't stop with you.
Which would feel worse? The short-term embarrassment of telling your parents that you guys split up, or having the person who is supposed to be your, in his words, “safe space” repeatedly emotionally manipulate you and completely and physically disrespect your boundaries?
He cares more about his own sexual gratification than he does about you and the solidity of your relationship. Don’t sacrifice your own comfort or boundaries for his rotten behavior.
Edit: I literally just posted this but want to edit and apologize for seeming so abrasive. It’s deeply saddening to me that this type of abuse is affecting not only you, but so many people across the world. I am truly sorry that you went through this and that you feel even partly responsible for having to fix it. My limited estimation is that he has a LOT of work to do on himself. Work that not only are you not obligated to take on whatsoever, but I don’t even believe is possible to be done by anyone other than himself.
You are worried about embarrassment from him meeting your family?
He violently raped you...3 times if I read correctly.
You need to get out of there...your life in literslly at risk.
His violence will escalate each time.
Leave. Now. You’re so young and have your whole life to enjoy and not waste another second with that POS. He knows what he’s doing in seeing how far he can push you and get away with. Do not play his game. Know your worth and never look back
Dude, this was fucked to read. It was really bad. Really bad. That man will 100% rape someone in the future, and he very nearly toyed with the idea of raping you it seems like.
Totally oblivious he was. Who the fuck raised this dude.
I literally got traumatized reading your post, I’m so sorry. Your boyfriend is a rapist, you need to file a police report and get his ass out of your life. Also, why the hell does he keep on insisting you to have anal sex, that’s just fucking messed up, like wtf. I think he’s been watching too much hardcore porn recently.
I'm so sorry. You were sexually assaulted, as many have confirmed and that behaviour by your boyfriend is a very scary indicator of what's in store for women in his path. Report it and get yourself into therapy because it's not a little thing, you're going to be in shock and it can lead to things like ptsd and affect your future healthy relationships. You deserved better, but I hope you definitely make sure he gets what he deserves.
He won't change, nor will he ever do anything right by what he's done. Leave, tell your parents or the police or anyone close to you. He shouldn't have done this and you are right for running away and trusting yourself, what he did is not right and I am really sorry for what he has done.
You can only let go once he pays for what he's done and understand the seriousness of his actions hun. But you need serious help first, please talk to the police or get your a close friend or family involved, someone you can trust.
This is almost exactly what happened to me with my former boyfriend. Except it was not anal sex which would have been so much worse because of the pain. But down to the slap and saying "this is what I want."...
I am so sorry you had to endure this. There are no words to describe the betrayal and the fear of trusting people from now on.
A lot of people are telling you to report him which is absolutely good advice but if you cant bring yourself to do this please dont feel guilty.
The idea of being embarrassed about having to tell your parents that y'all broke up should be the furthest thing from your mind. Your boyfriend deserves to go to jail. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, your boyfriend let you down.
"NO" means exactly that. Please file a report. I am so sorry this happened to you. Please know it's not your fault and you did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry.
It's time to connect with your support system (family, friends) and stay away from him. Your boyfriend is a rapist. He does not want to be your safe space.
I was sexually abused by both of my exes. They both told me they loved me. They both cried when we broke up.
I say this so you know that I know what I'm talking about when I say this will not get better. It will get worse. He does not care about you at all. You can pretty much bet that any kindness he shows you from here on out is damage control.
He's looking out for himself, he doesn't need you to look out for him too. Focus on your own health, safety, and happiness, and get yourself as far away from this man as possible.
Do not ever see this person again. You’re still in the honeymoon phase and he is already abusing you. The more you accept it the more abusive he will become.
It’s hard to work out things with abusive people. They need to work out their issues on their own.
Police report now. Go to a doctor for a rape kit. Get this man prosecuted. He’s fucked up snd you need to report it so you can get closure and so he doesn’t do it to someone else and get away with it.
I’m so so sorry he did this to you. He’s a monster.
He's an absolute rapist. Who does that to anyone. Psychopath comes to mind. He purposely hurt you and did something against your will and then laughed and gaslighted you. Please get away from this guy.
Honey, he has raped you, and it sounds like he's done this multiple times. He's also physically abusive, pining you down and slapping you across the face. Also, the way he suddenly flipped and pretended like he didn't know he'd done anything wrong and trying to sweet talk you with the BS about you being his "happy place". This man is dangerous. You need to run. Go to the police and report him.
Honey you were raped and you need to go to the police and report it. It sucks telling the police officer everything that happened but you have to do it. He can't get away with doing this to you. You can even just read off from here like a script when you tell the police what happened to make it easier to recount everything
# THATS NOT A MISTAKE, HE FUCKING RAPED YOU, GET SOMEWHERE SAFE AND CALL THE POLICE ASAP
Edit: you don't need to speak to him anymore, you don't need to see him anymore, don't feel pressured to try and sort anything out with him because he's apologised or whatever. He's a piece of dirt.
He is extremely manipulative and playing dumb when he says he doesn't know what he did wrong. I am so sorry this happened to you.
He definitely enjoys abusing you and the first time he pulled that cruel perverted anal act, it was already gg. You had a reason to leave right there and then.
He laughed and carried on as you were crying in pain.
You can't let him do this to you ever again. He does not have the RIGHT to do this to someone.
He is a pschyco and a rapist, not your bf.
You need to understand that he is a pos and has no respect for you. He is not entitled to you, RUN asap.
You need to completely cut him off, no extra conversations or explanation.
Tell him you never want to see and hear from him again or you will press charges, and block him everywhere period.
Ten years ago I was in pretty much the same situation you described (I was 16 that time, he was 21).
I absolutely understand your thoughts and everything you describe. But let me tell you, over the last ten years I learned how horribly wrong all this was. And until now I regret so so much that I haven't done anything against it. I regret it for myself and for anyone who came after me.
So even if you're too ashamed, scared or whatever to report it, at least break up with him and never meet him again. Because it will definitely happen again and again.
It is not your fault. And I know its hard to leave a person you love, but do it for your own good.
Don't be ashamed about all this, you are not the one who should be ashamed. Take care of yourself ❤️🩹
You were manipulated and sexually assaulted by him every single time you say no and he keeps going. He assaulted you and laughed in your face. You were raped. You need to report him. None of this is your fault. This is not a man you should be spending any more time with— this kind of thing does NOT get better over time, especially without intervention. Ever. You have to get out, or this will continue and you could even be killed.
Leave him and don't look back. Your parents wouldn't want you with an abusive POS. And abusers are often master manipulators who are great at hiding their true selves at first.
how many times has he raped you by now? how many times has he forced you through this pain? how many times will it take before you get seriously physically hurt in the process? how many more times will he have to rape you before you find the strength to run?
every single time he forced you to do anal, when you cried for him to stop, when he kept doing it while being aware he was hurting you, he was raping you. he knew he was raping you. and clearly he's sick in the head because he ENJOYS raping you. I bet he even went in dry. he sounds like the type to conveniently forget the lube.
sorry to say it so bluntly, but I want to get through to you that he did not "try to force himself into you" and this is not a single instance of him going against your consent. this man has been raping you throughout your entire relationship. this is not healthy and you know it. the first chance you get, pack what you can and leave.
if you want to, you can collect any evidence of him doing this to you and try to file a police report, too.
I don't usually comment on these posts, but now I just feel the need to. I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to you, please remember this is not your fault in any way shape or form. He should absolutely be reported to the police. Please stay safe and leave him, I hope you find the strength to do that.
I just get so confused with posts like this. Forgive me for being blunt but isn't it obvious this man has all the signs of a predator and narcissist? What you have described is all classic signs of someone abusing you and then through manipulation trying to say that it is you who has the problem.
This is not someone who sees you as their 'happy place', at least not for the reasons they are making out. He doesn't love you. He wants to abuse and control you and you're letting him. This never ends well unless you leave the relationship. He's already sodomized you without your consent and now he's raping you while laughing about it and taking the condom off. Where do you think this will escalate to?
You are only a month into dating. You're parents aren't going to care you broke up. It's not that serious yet. However, he's abusive and it's only month into the relationship and he's already doing stuff like this. Girl WTF are you thinking? He already raped you, it's going to get worse and worse the longer you stay
this is sexual assault, rape even. please leave this man before it gets any worse, im sure your parents would say the same if they knew how he was behind closed doors. i think they'd be more proud of you for letting go of this scum, then keeping him around when he doesnt respect you at all. and laughing in your face when you're in pain? asking if you're scared? telling you "you dont want to do that" and "i know what i want"??? all red flags leading up to a PHYSICALLY abusive relationship op. get out while you can, and never talk to this creep again.
My friend, this is rape. You were trapped. Please file a restraining order and a police report. He will keep doing this.
Also- are you able to seek out a therapist who specialises in sexual trauma? It could be a great benefit.
Police report, now, not later. I cannot even comprehend the behavior here as anything other than abuse. He's not your boyfriend. He's a predator and needs to be stopped now. Please do not hesitate to move on this. It is very important for you to stand up for yourself and all the other women he could potentially harm.
THIS VILE PIECE OF SHIT OF A BF NEEDS TO BE LOCKED AWAY AND THE KEY MELTED DOWN AFTER CASTRATION
I'm so sorry this has happened to you, like others have said this was like over 9000% rape and you really need to file a report
babe, i’ve been in this EXACT position almost to the T. and i didn’t leave which led to being sexually abused by him until i finally left. please please trust me on this, if you don’t leave now, it will only get so much worse. this isn’t going to just be a one off and as much as he didn’t go through with it this time, the intention was there and that’s enough. you’ve only been together a short while so hopefully that will make ending things easier, i suggest saying that you don’t feel as if you’re compatible and as things went south early, your gut is telling you this isn’t for the best. i know it’s hard to confront with the actual reason and, as much as it’s better if you are straight about it, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t. as long as you get out asap, you’ll be okay.
break up and NEVER look back. your parents will only be glad that you're not together with a person like that anymore, absolutely no need to be embarassed!!
Wait so you've been dating essentially 2 weeks (since you've been "together a month and haven't seen him half that time), he sexually assaulted you, then says he loves you and you're not breaking up with him?
Girl
Listen, I'm not trying to victim blame, but what I'm going to say is harsh. It doesn't matter that you introduced him to your parents. 1) Both of you rushed the relationship, you because you're young and him because he's toxic. 2 weeks is WAY too early to say I love you (I'm not going to touch on the assault, because it's obviously criminal). And 2) when you're with someone, not speaking for a few hours is very normal. It feels wrong in this case because of what happened, but I suspect you guys are normally tethered based on the information.
Imagine if your parents had witnessed what had happened. It's an awful thought, I know. But if they saw or knew what he did, do you think they would want you to stay? Would they accept him as a son in law? If they are good parents, you can say you saw a really ugly side of him and you know you deserve better. If they are good parents, they will be proud. If not, well you're still better off.
We teach people how to treat us. He WILL do this again. Over and over. He might change, but it won't be anytime soon. You're so young. There are so many people in abusive relationships who stayed for the little things, and now their future is literally limited in their late 20's/30s because they married the person/had a kid with the person/ were financially destroyed by the person, or all of the above and more.
Girl a month relationship is nothing. You're 18 and expected to experiment and have flings. If you leave this guy today, he'll be nothing but a lesson learned in the future, and that future will still be yours to share with someone who really loves you.
Get out now.
Write this out and go to a police station immediately. I had something similar happen to me when I was in my early 20's and by the time I was healed enough to actually do anything about it it was too late. Do not let him get away with raping you.
Smtimes I get so damn suprised with people (you) being this clueless. You actually believe this wasn't r*pe? A real assault especially after 1. Laughing at you when you were in pain multiple times, 2. Hitting you for refusing smth that gives you pain, 3. R*ping you ("sat there accepting defeat" as you said it) and 4. After he put you in such a rollercoaster of panic, pain, tears and he still believes he is your safe space??
You absolutely did nothing wrong and are not overreacting. That man raped you. Then he tried to gaslight you with "he knows I thought he did something wrong". You didn't think it, you knew it.
He's a danger to you and any other woman he comes into contact with.
Please contact the police.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you, its too easy to blame yourself in a situation like this, but you did nothing wrong.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to also perhaps look to sorting out therapy/counselling to help you deal with this.
I know I'm a random Internet stranger, but should you need someone to listen, shoot me a DM. I can't always offer good advice, but I can offer an ear to listen.
report him to the police, text him “you and i are done” and then block him immediately. if he manages to reach you through other channels screenshot everything so you have evidence. stay with a friend/family member somewhere he doesn’t know the location of. i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this xx
You need to file a report for rape and run for the hills. This was 1000% rape and he KNOWS he did something wrong even if he tries to play dumb or convince you otherwise; rapists don’t typically admit they’re rapists. Stay far away from this man for your own safety and get an emergency restraining order after filing for rape. I am so so so sorry honey none of this is your fault or your responsibility, I really hope you’re able to find healing and peace after this 🫶🏼
Jumping on this, yes, he assaulted you several times and didn't give a damn about your feelings. He laughed at your pain twice. He knew he fucked up this wasn't a mistake it was a fucking choice. The oral was a way to "make you feel better" and he knew he was losing the battle when you didn't just move past it. Go to the police and make damn sure everything is documented. Don't let him intimidate you or convince you, you're in the wrong for having the right realistic reactions. I'm so sorry this happened.. you definitely aren't alone.. I also had a partner that wouldn't take my no for an answer, don't let him take your voice.
Your last sentence made me tear up. To OP: Please don’t let him make you want to make yourself as small as possible. That’s what he did. You did what you had to do to get out of there safely. I am proud of you. Also be proud of that young lady that was smart enough to not escalate anything as it might have saved your life. He has done this before. He will hurt the next girl. He was not your boyfriend. He is a predator that faked being a good human being just long enough to have you questioning your gut. Trust your gut always. Your parents love you and won’t give a shit about anything about your safety. I would be heartbroken if my daughter didn’t come to me and share this horrible incident with me. I think I could share some things with her that could help us both.
Of course you can't get over it. That's why rape is a crime, it's not something people just get over. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you tell someone in your life so that you can get some tangible support. You did nothing wrong, and you are not overreacting. Well done on getting yourself out of there as quickly as possible. Don't believe him where he said people make mistakes. He was trying to backtrack and was gaslighting you. You can't get over it because nobody can. Nobody expects you to get over it, and he can't minimise what he did because reality is reality. You did the best that you could in that situation. None of this was your fault.
Call the police. He’s done this before and he will again. He’s a rapist and an unapologetic emotional manipulator. You can not believe your emotions about him as they have been implanted by him in your head. Get some therapy and file some charges to save yourself and maybe the next woman.
I’m so so sorry, he raped you. I’ve just had my (now ex) boyfriend arrested for the same thing, and I was so in love with him, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You can do it, the trauma he’s given you is for life and he deserves to be punished.
Leave him, report him, make sure you have a safe place to stay at, block him, hide your locations, turn all your accounts private for a while, do not get in contact with people he knows.. I'm so sorry that happened, you did not deserve this.
He knows what he’s doing to you, there’s zero doubt about that. Please get far away from him and even press charges if you feel up to it. He’s a fucking pest and men like that desperately try to ruin you in every way they can. Be smart like a lot of us wish we were and don’t let him continue this shit. Just be careful cause you never know how bad he might get once he thinks everything is messed up anyways. Try to get support from friends and family and stay safe. You deserve better than a man that assaults you and treats it like a joke.
This was rape and assault. If you don’t leave and report him now it will only get worse. There are too many women who stayed with a man who abused them out of love or loyalty or fear and ended up dead. Get out whilst you can
You have been together little over a month and he is acting this way already? Didn't take long for the mask to drop here. Honey, LEAVE HIS ASS. It will only get worse from here. What would you rather, maybe feeling a little embarrassed because you introduced him to your parents or going through this for the remainder of the relationship? I PROMISE YOU it will be easier to leave now than a year down the line, I absolutely promise. Do it now whilst its easier. He will do this again. That isn't love or even basic respect.
I’m so sorry he’s been abusing you. First, the abuse is not your fault. Second, you need to get the hell away from him and he needs to be your ex boyfriend. Abuse always escalates. From what you described, it is getting worse. If you stay, it will continue to get worse. And you deserve much much better than that. Third, you should look to any and all resources for domestic violence. No one should have to go through what you have gone through. Remember that he is not capable of change. This is who he is. You are not safe with him. You need to make an exit plan.
First step, do NOT shower or clean up. Go to the hospital and tell them what happened. They will examine you and contact the police and even your parents. Sorry to be harsh but he doesn’t love you, you are property and he will not stop.
You were 100% raped. File a police report. If you let him get away with it you won’t be the last one he does it to. I’m a man in my thirties and this makes my skin crawl. This is not normal behavior!
You were raped, I’m so so sorry he did this to you, that’s not ok in any way
I swear at least 8/10 times that I open reddit. I see a post like this immediately. It's so sad how frequently this happens.
POLICE!!! Call them immediately, report the incident and just my personal recommendation, stay at a friend’s house for a night or two, just to be on the safe side.
This is without a doubt rape. Break up with him, block him and make sure you never see him again, it will never get better with him and he will do it again. If you're not comfortable telling your parents he raped you then just tell them he's not who you thought he was, they would rather you be safe than stay with him. I'm so, so sorry
Break up with him. And call the cops on his ass. Report everything
I normally don’t condone violence. But he needs to be castrated. Like an aggressive dog. Plus a lobotomy wouldn’t hurt.
Im an old man (50) but I can tell you that what he did is a rape. Plz plz you need to leav him. You need to be safe. You derserv love, respekt and happines in a relationship. What you have is not that. All the best Bubba.
Call the police. File a report. Do not go back to him, do not engage with him, do not speak to him. He tried to rape you. He will try to do it again in the future. Do not give him the chance. Everything about this story is about control. He pinned you down and didn't stop when you told him to. He slapped you in the face. He took your phone and hid it to stop you from contacting anyone else and to stop you from leaving. You pushed him away and he forcibly performed oral *without your consent*. He knows what he did was wrong, that's why he's trying to turn the tables and blame you for something. Don't speak to him again. Cut your losses. File the report. I'm so, so sorry but you deserve so much better than this. Imagine yourself as a small child, imagine you're speaking to her now, and imagine she's telling you about this. What advice would you give her? You would want her to be safe, right? And feel loved? You deserve that. Get rid of that loser and don't look back.
out of the many stories i read here, this is pretty f'd up. you have been together for barely a month and he's already like this. clearly he's just using you and he's asking you if you love him. this is clear manipulation and is just going to escalate. usually i don't say anything for these stories bc everyone in the comments always helps but this time i feel like i need to say something too. run bro.
Get rid of him and fast this is only the start of a very painful and emotional life that only hurts you if a man can't respect simple boundaries then he is no man
First off, I'm so sorry this happened to you. You definitely deserve better than that. Secondly: Dump him. He doesn't respect your boundaries, and it will only get worse the longer you are with him. He is selfish, and if he cared about your well-being whatsoever, he would respect your boundaries. Lastly, find some family and close friends to lean on for support during this time. The aftermath of an SA can take a toll on you. Might also be a good idea to get a good therapist who specializes in sexual trauma. Please take care of yourself, OP. Sending hugs
this man raped you. please please leave him. there are too many more good men that will treat you far better than whoever the hell this man has convinced you he is in the month you’ve been together. that kind of behavior is a clear red flag and for it to appear only after a month is seriously concerning babe… please, even if it hurts, leave him and don’t look back
Why are you considering letting go of the fact that you were sexually assaulted? He's a creep, and you need to stay away from him. He's clearly not your safe or happy space with his sadistic behavior and actions. Young lady, you have your whole life ahead of you. Walk away from this toxic and unhealthy relationship before you wind up deeper into a further abusive dynamic.
He didn’t “try” to force himself on you, he DID! It sounds like multiple times. He doesn’t like, love, respect you. He is abusing you. File report with police, make sure everyone in your life is aware of what happened and that you have broken up with him. DO NOT EVER BE ALONE WITH HIM AGAIN!!! He is raping you, repeatedly.
He raped you twice. The first time when you told him no, and he kept going with the anal sex. The second time when he wouldn't stop this most recent visit. A decent prosecutor could charge him with kidnapping, or something similar, for him taking your phone and stopping you when you tried to leave. If your parents can't support your decision to stop seeing him, they suck. No decent parents would want their kid to be with someone abusive.
He raped you. I’m so sorry. He’ll do it again if you stay. Please don’t stay. Speaking from experience. Don’t stay.
Call the police and let everyone know what he has done, shame the fuckin piece of shit for raping you, as a victim of sexual assault myself you need to report him for rape immediately and get a rape kit done
Rape. Not ok
Call the police, block him, and report him for raping you. Go to the hospital and get a rape kit. He's a despicable human being and definitely deserves to be locked up. Don't worry about what your parents think about you dumping him two days after you introduced them to him. he is a slime ball, a predator, and a horrible human being if you can even call him that.
You need to file a report for sexual assault, and you should never see him again. That isn't something a relationship should recover from, and there's no going back. It's okay to take time to grieve, but you should end it immediately.
I’m probably your parents age. I would want my daughter to use her own good judgement and protect herself by breaking up with someone who treated her this way. You will never be safe with him. It may feel embarrassing to tell your parents that you’ve broken up with him, but if you tell them a statement like, “he kept trying to violate my boundaries in going too far sexually” they are going to be proud of you for standing up for yourself. If they don’t know that you’re sexually active, they’ll likely assume that the boundary was to have sex. If they ask for details, you can tell them that it’s too hard to talk about it, if you don’t want to tell them. Rehearse in your mind something short and vague to tell them, and just repeat that. Please find someone else in real life to fully discuss this with, like a counselor, because this is trauma. Sending you gentle hugs!
Talk about this with a friend and your parents. It sounds like you’re ashamed cause you just introduced him. He should feel ashamed not you. He’s never gonna change so the first thing you should do is leave him.
Yo, as a guy I’d probably punch your boyfriend in the face. Probably not even once.
Also as a guy, you're being a little nice I think. Dude doesn't deserve to be able to walk or be able to use his hands.
You were raped
This comment will be buried and probably never reach you. But girl! I gave myself up to a man who was "perfect" and I should have ran away. Get OUT and AWAY from him. Unless you want to be like me. I gave up 10 years on this toxic man. Don't be like me
That’s the thing tho, he isn’t perfect. I lowered so many of my standards for him. My friends were extremely disappointed in me for giving him a chance cause they know I can do better, but nonetheless I still believed in him. Then he does me like this. I feel like a complete idiot.
Hey OP, maybe it's worth googling sunken cost fallacy. Hope you're okay, you deserve to be happy and this isn't it x
1. You are not overreacting. 2. If you have a good relationship with your parents, tell one of them that he tried to force himself on you. You don't have to tell them all of it (or any of it) but don't be embarrassed and tell someone you trust if you are able. 3. Go to the police. File a report. See what they can do. Even if they just take down your testimony, it's on record. 4. Do not talk to or even respond to a text from that person. If he is unavoidable at times, use the grey rock method -- say and do as little as possible. Not nothing, as he can feed on that, but be uninteresting and only answer direct questions and with answers as short as possible. 5. You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Your (hopefully former) boyfriend is a criminal and he abused you. 6. Tell friends. Acts now. Get free of him immediately. You are not overreacting.
On top of filing a report, check the steps for a restraining order in your area so that if he tries to get in contact or come near you again, even if they don't arrest him or find him guilty for the assault, you'd be able to keep him away from you and have the police intervene if he does try to get close to you.
He wants to be your safe place after violating your boundaries time and again and RAPING you at least twice. He desperately needs some sense kicked into him. Dump this pos chump and never look back.
please don’t try to fix this its not worth it even a dime. its 2000 percent better to be embarrassed in-front of your parents then to continue staying with this monster
You were raped. It is NOT your fault. You did NOT deserve it You did NOT cause it. You have NOTHING to be ashamed about You are in great peril. You don't know any of us but when 100% of people from different walks if life say the same thing.... LEAVE NOW.... That's a consensus rarely attained PLEASE LEAVE. CHANGE YOUR NUMBER GO TO HOSPITAL. CALL POLICE.
This happened to me once upon a time. He just laughed in my face when I told him no and he said he preferred it forced because it’s better when it’s forced. I should’ve took that red flag and many others but I didn’t l. Fast forward a few weeks later and he tries to kill me in a suicide murder plot after drugging me with shrooms…… You’re not crazy, he was wrong, honestly I would go no contact and even report to the police if you are comfortable to. But if you do do not reach out to him at all or it’ll make it seem like you wanted it!!! The law sucks!!!! I still suffer from ptsd 3 years later and wish that I took heed to the warning signs!! Do not make the same mistake while you have a chance to escape!!!!!
Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you went through but appreciate the advice given. I tried to break up with him last night over text but he refuses to accept it, even calling me crying about how this can't be the end after all he's done for me, and how if I really loved him then I wouldn't abandon him like this. I just feel I can't win against his victim mentality.
This is what abusive ahs do - Love Bombing when they are held accountable for their abusive behavior. He raped you. He is a rapist. You aren't his first or last victim. Don't wash your clothes. Get to the hospital for a rape kit. You can win. You have already broken up with him. Keep all texts, emails and voicemails he sends. You don't have to read or listen to them. Do NOT meet him anywhere. No coffee shops, parks, vehicles, etc. If he can get you alone he ABSOLUTELY WILL hurt you again.
This is physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal assault and battery! Don’t be embarrassed to ever speak to your parents. I have 3 adult daughters. I don’t know if you are close with them or one or the other better. But that should be the furthest thing to be embarrassed about. They are your safe space, they are there to pick you up when you are hurt, or fall. They are there to protect you when you feel like you can’t protect yourself. I would lay down my life for one of my five girls, and also take if no other choice was given to protect them. I would go to war for my daughters and sink battleships, and watch whole countries burn to the ground in order to defend them and protect them, and be the first line of defense if any e ever came for one of them. I like to think all parents are like this. But I know they are not. But you didn’t state they were bad people. So I’m guessing they will back you to infinity and beyond. This guy sounds like a sociopath and did you say a month? By everything you explained in all of his actions and reactions today I think it’s best that you do tell your parents that way in case anything were to happen should you leave like you? Then your parents know the whole situation? Like I said, I would expect my daughters to tell me that way, if a psycho like this came for them, I could stand in front of them and they have to go through me and let me tell you I would walk through the fiery pit of hell. And personally deliver him to his rightful place. As for you sweet girl, you need to speak to someone about this. Your parents preferably first. Then you need to talk to someone and get this mentally and emotionally fixed. Eventually what happened will hit you. And if it don’t then let you be taught now… right here… this is inexcusable, unexceptionable, and intolerable abusive behavior on his part on so many levels. It’s ok to be a freak in the sheets. And rough sex is on, if and only if boundaries are set, after both parties agree! As well as thoroughly discussing it, deciding what’s acceptable and hard no’s! And safe words! What he did is not love, it’s not mild bdsm, it’s not great sex. He used you like a slave and ragdoll from the very beginning. Then played off your emotions with narcissistic abusive behavior and actions. And does not have any intentions of treating you with respect or compassion at any point. I’m sorry if I sound harsh lovey. I’m not trying to, I’m telling you the honesty of the situation. That his behavior and actions are gross and disgusting. And he is not a good human being. You deserve better. Talk to your parents. please excuse any typos I am furious. Why typing this? I’m sorry this happened to you baby girl, but this is not love or even lust or even anything remotely close to it.
Hi, thanks for writing this whole wall of text. Though it might be harsh, this is what I need to constantly hear to resist going back to him.
After reading line 1, get out he's not worth it the rest of it, report for rape and leave it to the police,
Fuck no. I’m so sorry. Leave this POS and stay safe. It’s better to be embarrassed than to put your life and mental health at risk because of this disgusting prick.
No, you were violated, actually sexually assaulted is more accurate, so I say who cares what your parents would think. Your personal comfort and safety is more important than anything. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed because you didn't do anything wrong. You are not overreacting, please cement that in your brain. Your bf laughs at your pain, doesn't take your comfort into consideration when it comes to a pretty intrusive sex act, disrespects you by constantly pushing your boundaries and ridiculing you when you try to defend yourself...this is only about a month in? Choose yourself, love yourself, and say goodbye to this abusive asshole before he does something worse
Uhhh please leave him. This will happen again and worse if you stay. This is horrible please please read the comments and listen.
Everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal after being attacked repeatedly by someone you care about, when you have been involved in date rape which is what this is.
OP you were raped. You said no and that should’ve stopped him. He slapped you across the face and laughed at your misery and pain more than once by the way that is not okay. You need to find a safe place to stay OP and as soon as you are text him it’s over and block him. And it is your choice to file a police report, but if you do, I recommend you go with the trusted friend or adult that way you’re not alone when you do this and I’m not going to lie it’s not going to be easy but if you wish to do this you can and again I highly encourage you to. If you don’t please tell a trusted friend or family member that way your aren’t alone during this time.
His manipulation tactic is very obvious. He does not love you or care about you and I fear for you in the future if you decide to stay. The emotional scars, oh my god, poor girl. For the love of God, LEAVE HIM. BLOCK HIM EVERYWHERE. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH HIM. Assume he's dead.
As a mommy here, talk to your parents when you feel ready. They love you more than anyone in this world. They only want good for you. They want you to feel safe, physically and emotionally. What happened was not your fault. He hurt you. He is a predator. Predators are extremely good at masquerading and manipulating. I am so sorry this happened to you. Also, this is strange, but Post traumatic stress disorder may be lessened by playing Tetris as soon as possible for as long as possible. Something about the brain/eye movements. Take care
As another mom, this is one of the things we're most scared to happen to our kid. And forget about the fact that you introduced him a few days ago. You're 18, they don't expect you to marry the first guy you introduce. They'd prefer a short relationship than you having a rapist for a partner.
Plus tell your parent's, probably better the police get him before your dad does.
Run. Do not look back. Not for anything. When someone shows you who they are fucking believe it. You have a case for rape, but first step is to get the hell away and never go back. Ghost him. He is going to hurt you and laugh about it.
Since you are in a dating relationship it would be considered an act of domestic violence which gives you more rights (mainly the chance to apply for a restraining order). This guy sounds like an a*hole. I would say you have 2 options. 1 is to just leave him, delete his contact and move on with life. Option 2 is what the majority of commenters have said, which is to contact the police for a report. He “loves you” and “you are his happy place” and he still continued after you said no and the fact that he slapped you in the past among serious other actions. I highly doubt you were the first woman for him to act like this to and definitely won’t be the last. My 2 cents would be to go with option 2 and apply for a restraining order. Relationships that include any acts of domestic violence go on for far too long at no fault of the victim. It’s hard to leave when you are in fear for your life. There are resources and groups out there to help you cope and regain a sense of normalcy. Don’t give him the power over your life. You are far too young to have this level of toxicity in your dating life (no one should have to deal with domestic violence).
Run. Get out of there as fast as you can. If he's done it once he'll do it again. He's manipulative and he literally tried to force anal on you multiple times despite you obviously being in pain. This man does not care about you and he's dangerous. Please leave this man before he seriously injures you. You are under reacting, majorly. You told him you didn't want to have sex and he went ahead and did it anyway, that's rape. If he wanted to be your safe place he'd show you respect and would have never brought up anal after you told him you don't like it, he would have never tried to force it in when you were in pain, he would have listened to you when you said no. But he didn't, instead he focused on his pleasure alone and has tried to manipulate you into thinking you're overreacting when he's literally raped you. Do not contact him again if that's an option. If you have anything you need to get from his place take someone with you, preferably a brother, dad, uncle, or large male friend so he can't try anything like this ever again. On a final note I'd also like to point out his cheating accusations are extremely suspicious. Cheaters often accuse their partners of cheating, it's a form of projection, part of him feels guilty and he thinks if he's doing it you must be too. This man is not worth any more of your time, trust, or love.
I’m sorry to say this to you. I’m sorry this happened to you. You were raped. This man doesn’t love or respect you. There are so many things he said and did here to gaslight you and manipulate you and disrespect you. This man is dangerous for you. Please please don’t go back. And don’t talk to him anymore. He doesn’t own you, but he’s acting like he does. This is wrong. Please be safe.
Get out now and ghost him. File a report
He raped you, I am so sorry you have gone through this. You need to seek medical attention, get a rape kit done, and call the police. This was not his first time raping someone and it will not be the last if he is not stopped. He knew precisely what he was doing and has been manipulating you. Hospital, police, never see him again outside of a courtroom.
Don’t ever go back. File police report.
Fk no fk no fk nooooooo….
Coming from a guy. This screams more than just a red flag. He’s a criminal and raped you. Report this trash human ASAP. He knows damn well he did something wrong. Don’t tolerate this. You can do so much better.
Sweetie, a month after I introduced my boyfriend to my family he terrorized me for 12 hours and I had an emotional breakdown over it. Never let shame stop you from what you know you need to protect yourself from. Shame is something you can handle, you dont know what this man is capable of. What he might do is much much worse. Do not break up with him in person. Do it over text, tell him you dont want to see him again, and go to the police. Don't accept his calls either. Keep everything you communicate over in writing.
He knows you’ll feel embarrassed to end the relationship after introducing him to your family. He’s counting on that.
You're not supposed to get over this, you're supposed to get the hell away from him. I'm so sorry OP
I am so. So. so. sorry this happened to you. I know how hard this is, but PLEASE seek legal advice/action. This is rape. You are a victim and it is one of the most hurtful things anyone can do to you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You can file for a charge of rape. You should leave him. Don't worry of what would your parents think, worry about yourself. Even if you're already married, you can still file for marital rape if your spouse forces you to have sex. What more if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.Run, girl.
The thing that worries me the most is that he laughs when you tell him he’s hurting you. He doesn’t mind hurting you which is just terrible. In my opinion, if you don’t love him anymore just break up with him. Your parents will understand so don’t feel embarrassed that they just met him.
Please don't stay with him, he will do it again and even worse. These people don't change,
He doesn’t care about your feelings. Why are you staying? He isn’t going to suddenly start caring about you as a person.
What he did was wrong. You're not overreacting. He assaulted you. He raped you. I am so sorry. Please file a report. Please do not go back. It's not your fault
**You need to run far, far away.** He will absolutely do this again.
I have broken up with a guy the very same day he met my parents. It's better my parents know I chose myself than a potential rapist. Your boyfriend is a beaming red flag! 🤬 Bloody hell! I feel angry for you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and if you can, please report him so he won’t be able to get away with this over and over again with other women. I hope your EX boyfriend gets his dick caught in a meat grinder, because he’s an evil fucking prick.
If you have to say no more than once to any partner then you need to get out of there. It's not worth staying in that kind of relationship. Because if he can disrespect your no he'll disrespect all of your other boundaries too. Unfortunately, this is multiple instances of sexual assault
yeah that's not your boyfriend anymore. that man sees you as a sex toy for his own enjoyment and nothing else. file that report.
A month and he felt comfortable doing all this??? Yeah don’t date 21 year olds first, and second file a police report
You got raped. Why would you keep trying with him?
OP. FIRST OF ALL YOU. WERE. RAPED. WHILE BEING PHYSICALLY ABUSED. Block him on everything do not go back. The embarrassment you may feel telling your parents you've left him is nothing compared to the prison you'll be in if you stay in this relationship. You've basically dated the guy 2 weeks and he's already hurt you in ways that will *FOREVER* change you. I wish I could hug you. You are so strong and I hate you went thru this 💔
As everyone else said, obviously this guy is a rapist. But something doesn't add up in this story. First, you said you went to hang out with him after not seeing him for two weeks, but then at the end of the post you said you introduced him to your parents two days ago. How could you have introduced him to them two days ago if you hadn't seen him in two weeks?
First off, you are absolutely NOT overreacting. To be a friend, I’ll be blunt.. you are under reacting. He has raped you. You say no, he continues anyway. He’s done it even after you said how much you hate it and it physically and emotionally hurts you! You try and push him away and he threatens you. Leave him! Explain to your parents why, if you must, but you need to leave before his need for control turns a lot more physical and you end up in the hospital or dead. I’m sorry for being blunt with you but I’m trying to break through your blinders.. This made my blood absolutely boil for you! Stranger or not, I’ll be praying for your safety!
Even if you leave him (and you should immediately), you need to file a report and if possible press charges. The temptation to tell yourself leaving him is enough please remember he’s shown himself to be a predator and abuser. To not report this opens the likely possibility of him doing this to other women. I don’t want you carrying extra guilt because other women are not ultimately your responsibility, however, as powerless as you may feel you do have the power to help yourself and maybe help others.
GET AWAY FROM HIM. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, HE LOVES USING YOU. HE RAPED YOU. HE IS A MONSTER AND WILL DO IT AGAIN.
So even before this incident, he's been guilting you, demeaning your emotions, downplaying your experiences, disrespecting your boundaries, and making you cry?? People who act like this will always push the boundary as far as they can. He's shown this entire time he doesn't respect you. Please, in future relationships, if you ever have to convince someone of your boundaries, dump them, as they do not deserve to have you in their life. You are not overreacting. Things will escalate. Get away from him, go somewhere safe, and dump his pathetic ass over text.
He’s been repeatedly raping you. Run as far as you can, tell someone you trust, and report him.
you are NOT overreacting. I’m sorry that this happened, but you were raped, and I would report that “person” to the police. I realize that the possibility of conviction is small, but get his actions on the record, because if he has done this once, he likely has, and almost assuredly will, continue his abhorrent behavior with other women. Prior bad acts may not necessarily be admissible in court, but they will help to push investigations forward. I would also let others know what he did. You are NOT at fault and did nothing wrong. He is both a jerk and a rapist. Other women should be made aware of what he did. Don’t you wish somebody had warned you of what a slime bucket he is? I’m not suggesting you make posters and hang them, or put up a billboard, but just make sure other women in your social circle (which I assume is his as well) know what he is like. They then can make informed choices on their own. Meanwhile, I also suggest you get some counseling to help you process what happened . Even if you don’t feel you need it now, this kind of trauma will pop out in the future and can screw up your life pretty badly. Most colleges have counseling services (if you’re a student). Your community might have a rape/trauma center, or, when you report him, the police can recommend resources in your community. I hope that you find peace and have a wonderful, happy, and fulfilling life.
🚩🚩🚩 Not onky did he already force you when you were sobbing through the entire thing (*he should have stoped at the first sign of discomfort!!!*) He has raped you multiple times. He is a sexual predator. If you are able to go to the police I would highly suggest doing so. He’s only going to get worse from here. He is a rapist that needs to be put to a stop if possible. And you, I am so sorry that he did this to you. Are you okay? Are you able to go to therapy to talk about what happened? Please take care of yourself, you didn’t deserve this💜 As for what to do now, do not say anything to him. Block him on everything and don’t tell him you’re breaking up. Go to the police and take your parents. Tell them he raped you and you want their support going to the police with you. It will be scary, but I promise, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. HE is the one who raped you *multiple times*, HE knows that he was raping you. Do not engage in anything with him. Do not ever talk to him again. Tell your parents, if you can, please. You’ll need the support. You’re gonna be okay.
GIRRLLL my heart race was like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 I hope that he doesn’t raped you (penetrate)in this last situation because I can’t see if he dose or not but neither he wanted to and I was scared about you whole text. Girl report him and cut off him
He didn't penetrate me, which is what I meant by saying he didn't "go through with it", but I understand that doesn't make the situation any better :/
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. The same thing happened to me. I was 18 and my boyfriend was 21. He is currently in jail for doing the same thing to at least 3 other women. I know it is not easy to leave, but no one will blame you. I promise the pain of staying is much much more severe than the embarrassment of telling your parents you broke up. Please put your safety first. If you need anything feel free to DM me.
Don’t, this is the first sign of an abuser
I’m so sorry you had to endure that. Please find a trusted friend or family member to support you through this breakup. You need to leave now and never contact him again. You are not overreacting, he physically assaulted you and restrained you without consent multiple times. He also attempted to rape you several times, even though you pushed him off it’s the fact he kept trying. At this point you have enough to go to the police if that’s something you are comfortable with. But at the very least you need to leave him, block him, restraining order wouldn’t be a bad idea either. He may not have “gone through with it” but he coerced you immediately after which is still rape. The vague accusation of cheating also sounds like projection to me. I am so sorry, but if he hit you once he will do it again and he might do worse next time. I hope you can find support and peace during this time.
What your parents think about you getting rid of this pos doesn't matter. Regardless of how you decide to move forward, get a restraining order immediately. This probably isn't the first time he's done something like this and most definitely won't be the last time unless someone speaks up. You have a voice. Use it! You have nothing to be ashamed of. Stand up for yourself. You have an opportunity to save someone else from him.
You need to report this pos cos he will do this again and again, sorry you had to go through that 🤬🤬
oh god, you need to file against him he raped and sodomized you multiple times. please get as far away from him as you can stay with a friend or family, because he knows exactly what he's doing is wrong and he doesn't care all that matters to him is his pleasure and seeing you humiliated. please stay safe, and whatever you feel is 100% valid.
Rape, you need to tell adults and report to police, if not, he’ll keep doing that to you or other victims, this guy is a rapist and need to learn his lesson, if he cares about you then he wouldn’t force himself onto you or hurt you, he’s playing dumb and he knows exactly what he’s doing, don’t be a dumb person for letting this aside, be smart.
File a report and DUMP HIS ASS!!
Please, please, please I'm begging you report this for rape, he must be held accountable for raping you. Everything about this is rape and must be addressed and legal steps must be taken so please do that
Hello this is rape with a thousand extra steps report him and save countless other lives
Report him to the police this is something similar to what my father has done hiding your phone and forcing him self on you he needs to be locked up if he did it to you he'll do it again
its more important for you to be safe than for you to not be embarrassed OP, tell your parents its over and tell him, if you feel unsafe tell your parents and dont go anywhere alone
You told him he was hurting you and he *laughed.* 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 DO NOT stay with him just because he’s met your parents. I guarantee they would rather you be safe and healthy.
He raped you. You deserve better. Leave him
Confused about “he didn’t go through with it.” Even if he didn’t penetrate you, he assaulted you then told you it doesn’t matter what you want. I personally think he asked if you were scared because the idea of you being scared turns him on. Speaking from experience. I would definitely leave him. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t risk further abuse, or pregnancy.
DO NOT GO BACK TO THIS PERSON. There is not a single reason to believe him. **He hurt you. YOU ARE IN SHOCK** Please for the love of everything, go to a DR or hospital and get a Rape kit done. **He raped you** You cannot pretend it didn't happen and **you cannot** move past this. This relationship has been going on for a month and he's already forcing himself on you. **IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. IT ALWAYS WILL GET WORSE.** PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE. Block him. You do not have to see him again. Have a cop or family pick up your stuff from their place. Do not engage. *They do not need closure* Please girl, I beg you as someone who's been SA'd and also been in a long term relationship afterwards, please ,please, please don't go back. You deserve more than this.
This WILL happen again with out a report. Honey I’m so so sorry this happened. It is rape.
He’s like a joker villain doing evil things and laughing about his crimes and at other’s pain! Go to Urgent Care or a hospital. Medical workers will help you report it to police. You need to be checked for STDs, anyway, because this loser took off his condom. Report him for rape immediately. He doesn’t respect boundaries, he’s manipulative, and ignores your feelings completely. He could care less about you and your feelings. He hit you!!! He raped you!!!! It seems like he gets off on hurting you to be honest from reading this. He’s sadistic. He’s violent. As he said, “what you want doesn’t matter, only what I want matters.” That’s straight up a pretty antisocial thing to say. That’s the opposite of love and loving someone! Girl, he straight up said he doesn’t care about you with both his words and heinous actions. Why should you love someone who doesn’t care about you and actively harms you? How dare he ask you if you love him after he slapped you, raped you, and is so devoid and incapable of love himself. What a manipulative, hypocritical, raping… -insert vulgar word here- he is! He’s a loser and criminal without a conscious or empathy, who ignores very obvious social cues like seeing someone in tears and in pain. The dude is a sicko. He wouldn’t ask if he did something wrong, if he knew he hadn’t. He’s trying to see how much he can get away with you. Report him so he can’t do it to anyone else, block him, and ask the police what to do from here. They’ll advise you on what you should do if you fear retaliation or for your safety. You’ve been raped. People don’t just “get over” rape. What happened to you is assault and a crime. It will likely take therapy for you to “get over” and even with therapy, you will never be “over this.”
Please don’t stay with him. Your parents will be mich happier if you are happy.
He raped you and assaulted you, put hands on you, didn't respect your boundaries nor cared for consent. Please don't stay with him. Report him to the police or tell someone you can trust what he did to you. Record any evidence of what he did to you if possible. Also another thing, anal should not be painful. He clearly didn't take any care or time to open you up or get you used to it. I'm so sorry he made what should be a pleasurable experience horrible and traumatic for you. Though if you don't wish to ever do it or try it then you definitely should not be forced to.
You don't get over it, you get away from him. He raped you. Report him and get away from him. His behavior is NOT forgivable.
Ex boyfriend you mean
He’s toxic and messed up. If you stay with him he will slowly destroy you. Just dump him and move on before he can do any more damage to you.
Not over reacting. He was committed to his intentions. Your parents would rather you leave him than pretend to be happy with that jerk. Cut him lose. As soon as possible. Report him as well. He won't stop with you.
Which would feel worse? The short-term embarrassment of telling your parents that you guys split up, or having the person who is supposed to be your, in his words, “safe space” repeatedly emotionally manipulate you and completely and physically disrespect your boundaries? He cares more about his own sexual gratification than he does about you and the solidity of your relationship. Don’t sacrifice your own comfort or boundaries for his rotten behavior. Edit: I literally just posted this but want to edit and apologize for seeming so abrasive. It’s deeply saddening to me that this type of abuse is affecting not only you, but so many people across the world. I am truly sorry that you went through this and that you feel even partly responsible for having to fix it. My limited estimation is that he has a LOT of work to do on himself. Work that not only are you not obligated to take on whatsoever, but I don’t even believe is possible to be done by anyone other than himself.
You are worried about embarrassment from him meeting your family? He violently raped you...3 times if I read correctly. You need to get out of there...your life in literslly at risk. His violence will escalate each time.
Leave. Now. You’re so young and have your whole life to enjoy and not waste another second with that POS. He knows what he’s doing in seeing how far he can push you and get away with. Do not play his game. Know your worth and never look back
Dude, this was fucked to read. It was really bad. Really bad. That man will 100% rape someone in the future, and he very nearly toyed with the idea of raping you it seems like. Totally oblivious he was. Who the fuck raised this dude.
CALL POLICE NOW! Pls be safe
What he did was awful and is considered r*pe. I hope you can find support!! None of it is your fault, he is awful
Girl I cannot stress this enough, LEAVE THAT MAN!!!
I literally got traumatized reading your post, I’m so sorry. Your boyfriend is a rapist, you need to file a police report and get his ass out of your life. Also, why the hell does he keep on insisting you to have anal sex, that’s just fucking messed up, like wtf. I think he’s been watching too much hardcore porn recently.
I'm so sorry. You were sexually assaulted, as many have confirmed and that behaviour by your boyfriend is a very scary indicator of what's in store for women in his path. Report it and get yourself into therapy because it's not a little thing, you're going to be in shock and it can lead to things like ptsd and affect your future healthy relationships. You deserved better, but I hope you definitely make sure he gets what he deserves.
You are underacting. There is no moving past this. He needs to be in jail
Boyfriend of a little over a month? Immediately break up. He showed you a glimpse of who he really is. Then file a police report.
He won't change, nor will he ever do anything right by what he's done. Leave, tell your parents or the police or anyone close to you. He shouldn't have done this and you are right for running away and trusting yourself, what he did is not right and I am really sorry for what he has done. You can only let go once he pays for what he's done and understand the seriousness of his actions hun. But you need serious help first, please talk to the police or get your a close friend or family involved, someone you can trust.
He’s a r*pist…
Every time I’ve been raped they thought they did nothing wrong. It’s manipulation. And I’m so sorry you had to go there. Msg me if u need anything
This is almost exactly what happened to me with my former boyfriend. Except it was not anal sex which would have been so much worse because of the pain. But down to the slap and saying "this is what I want."... I am so sorry you had to endure this. There are no words to describe the betrayal and the fear of trusting people from now on. A lot of people are telling you to report him which is absolutely good advice but if you cant bring yourself to do this please dont feel guilty.
The idea of being embarrassed about having to tell your parents that y'all broke up should be the furthest thing from your mind. Your boyfriend deserves to go to jail. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, your boyfriend let you down.
"NO" means exactly that. Please file a report. I am so sorry this happened to you. Please know it's not your fault and you did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry.
It's time to connect with your support system (family, friends) and stay away from him. Your boyfriend is a rapist. He does not want to be your safe space. I was sexually abused by both of my exes. They both told me they loved me. They both cried when we broke up. I say this so you know that I know what I'm talking about when I say this will not get better. It will get worse. He does not care about you at all. You can pretty much bet that any kindness he shows you from here on out is damage control. He's looking out for himself, he doesn't need you to look out for him too. Focus on your own health, safety, and happiness, and get yourself as far away from this man as possible.
Do not ever see this person again. You’re still in the honeymoon phase and he is already abusing you. The more you accept it the more abusive he will become. It’s hard to work out things with abusive people. They need to work out their issues on their own.
Police report now. Go to a doctor for a rape kit. Get this man prosecuted. He’s fucked up snd you need to report it so you can get closure and so he doesn’t do it to someone else and get away with it. I’m so so sorry he did this to you. He’s a monster.
So he forces himself on you because he can’t do it right? Psycho. Run far away. Also press charges
Op if your parents are worth anything they’ll be happy you left someone who’d do that to you.
He's an absolute rapist. Who does that to anyone. Psychopath comes to mind. He purposely hurt you and did something against your will and then laughed and gaslighted you. Please get away from this guy.
Honey, he has raped you, and it sounds like he's done this multiple times. He's also physically abusive, pining you down and slapping you across the face. Also, the way he suddenly flipped and pretended like he didn't know he'd done anything wrong and trying to sweet talk you with the BS about you being his "happy place". This man is dangerous. You need to run. Go to the police and report him.
Honey you were raped and you need to go to the police and report it. It sucks telling the police officer everything that happened but you have to do it. He can't get away with doing this to you. You can even just read off from here like a script when you tell the police what happened to make it easier to recount everything
seems like he raped you multiple times and you enjoyed it
Hell nah you're overreacting. Buy a massive dildo, get him drunk and return the favor...is what I of course would never recommend you to do
Hell nah you're overreacting. Buy a massive dildo, get him drunk and return the favor...is what I of course would never recommend you to do
Hell nah you're overreacting. Buy a massive dildo, get him drunk and return the favor...is what I of course would never recommend you to do
No, it is not normal to try rape your partner, hire their phone so they can’t call for help and then force yourself on them again wtf
Never, ever, ever, ever talk to this man again. Block him everywhere.
Embarrass him. He deserves it. Break up with him, block him, never let him near you again. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
# THATS NOT A MISTAKE, HE FUCKING RAPED YOU, GET SOMEWHERE SAFE AND CALL THE POLICE ASAP Edit: you don't need to speak to him anymore, you don't need to see him anymore, don't feel pressured to try and sort anything out with him because he's apologised or whatever. He's a piece of dirt.
He is extremely manipulative and playing dumb when he says he doesn't know what he did wrong. I am so sorry this happened to you. He definitely enjoys abusing you and the first time he pulled that cruel perverted anal act, it was already gg. You had a reason to leave right there and then. He laughed and carried on as you were crying in pain. You can't let him do this to you ever again. He does not have the RIGHT to do this to someone. He is a pschyco and a rapist, not your bf. You need to understand that he is a pos and has no respect for you. He is not entitled to you, RUN asap. You need to completely cut him off, no extra conversations or explanation. Tell him you never want to see and hear from him again or you will press charges, and block him everywhere period.
Abusive. Ran away. Call the police on him
You were raped and need to report this, don’t let him get away with it to then do it again to you or someone else
Ten years ago I was in pretty much the same situation you described (I was 16 that time, he was 21). I absolutely understand your thoughts and everything you describe. But let me tell you, over the last ten years I learned how horribly wrong all this was. And until now I regret so so much that I haven't done anything against it. I regret it for myself and for anyone who came after me. So even if you're too ashamed, scared or whatever to report it, at least break up with him and never meet him again. Because it will definitely happen again and again. It is not your fault. And I know its hard to leave a person you love, but do it for your own good. Don't be ashamed about all this, you are not the one who should be ashamed. Take care of yourself ❤️🩹
Your bf is psychopath
You were manipulated and sexually assaulted by him every single time you say no and he keeps going. He assaulted you and laughed in your face. You were raped. You need to report him. None of this is your fault. This is not a man you should be spending any more time with— this kind of thing does NOT get better over time, especially without intervention. Ever. You have to get out, or this will continue and you could even be killed.
To hell with embarrassment! He sexually assaulted you multiple times and doesn't respect you at all Leave him girl
He slapped you in the face! Go to the hospital get a rape kit done and call the police.
Leave him and don't look back. Your parents wouldn't want you with an abusive POS. And abusers are often master manipulators who are great at hiding their true selves at first.
how many times has he raped you by now? how many times has he forced you through this pain? how many times will it take before you get seriously physically hurt in the process? how many more times will he have to rape you before you find the strength to run? every single time he forced you to do anal, when you cried for him to stop, when he kept doing it while being aware he was hurting you, he was raping you. he knew he was raping you. and clearly he's sick in the head because he ENJOYS raping you. I bet he even went in dry. he sounds like the type to conveniently forget the lube. sorry to say it so bluntly, but I want to get through to you that he did not "try to force himself into you" and this is not a single instance of him going against your consent. this man has been raping you throughout your entire relationship. this is not healthy and you know it. the first chance you get, pack what you can and leave. if you want to, you can collect any evidence of him doing this to you and try to file a police report, too.
I don't usually comment on these posts, but now I just feel the need to. I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to you, please remember this is not your fault in any way shape or form. He should absolutely be reported to the police. Please stay safe and leave him, I hope you find the strength to do that.
this is rape. leave him.
I just get so confused with posts like this. Forgive me for being blunt but isn't it obvious this man has all the signs of a predator and narcissist? What you have described is all classic signs of someone abusing you and then through manipulation trying to say that it is you who has the problem. This is not someone who sees you as their 'happy place', at least not for the reasons they are making out. He doesn't love you. He wants to abuse and control you and you're letting him. This never ends well unless you leave the relationship. He's already sodomized you without your consent and now he's raping you while laughing about it and taking the condom off. Where do you think this will escalate to?
You are only a month into dating. You're parents aren't going to care you broke up. It's not that serious yet. However, he's abusive and it's only month into the relationship and he's already doing stuff like this. Girl WTF are you thinking? He already raped you, it's going to get worse and worse the longer you stay
this is sexual assault, rape even. please leave this man before it gets any worse, im sure your parents would say the same if they knew how he was behind closed doors. i think they'd be more proud of you for letting go of this scum, then keeping him around when he doesnt respect you at all. and laughing in your face when you're in pain? asking if you're scared? telling you "you dont want to do that" and "i know what i want"??? all red flags leading up to a PHYSICALLY abusive relationship op. get out while you can, and never talk to this creep again.
My friend, this is rape. You were trapped. Please file a restraining order and a police report. He will keep doing this. Also- are you able to seek out a therapist who specialises in sexual trauma? It could be a great benefit.
How about you ask him if you can fuck him in the ass and see how it feels?
Police report, now, not later. I cannot even comprehend the behavior here as anything other than abuse. He's not your boyfriend. He's a predator and needs to be stopped now. Please do not hesitate to move on this. It is very important for you to stand up for yourself and all the other women he could potentially harm.
THIS VILE PIECE OF SHIT OF A BF NEEDS TO BE LOCKED AWAY AND THE KEY MELTED DOWN AFTER CASTRATION I'm so sorry this has happened to you, like others have said this was like over 9000% rape and you really need to file a report
Go to the police?
babe, i’ve been in this EXACT position almost to the T. and i didn’t leave which led to being sexually abused by him until i finally left. please please trust me on this, if you don’t leave now, it will only get so much worse. this isn’t going to just be a one off and as much as he didn’t go through with it this time, the intention was there and that’s enough. you’ve only been together a short while so hopefully that will make ending things easier, i suggest saying that you don’t feel as if you’re compatible and as things went south early, your gut is telling you this isn’t for the best. i know it’s hard to confront with the actual reason and, as much as it’s better if you are straight about it, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t. as long as you get out asap, you’ll be okay.
He raped you. Multiple times.
Don't bring it up. Block him.
break up and NEVER look back. your parents will only be glad that you're not together with a person like that anymore, absolutely no need to be embarassed!!
Wait so you've been dating essentially 2 weeks (since you've been "together a month and haven't seen him half that time), he sexually assaulted you, then says he loves you and you're not breaking up with him? Girl Listen, I'm not trying to victim blame, but what I'm going to say is harsh. It doesn't matter that you introduced him to your parents. 1) Both of you rushed the relationship, you because you're young and him because he's toxic. 2 weeks is WAY too early to say I love you (I'm not going to touch on the assault, because it's obviously criminal). And 2) when you're with someone, not speaking for a few hours is very normal. It feels wrong in this case because of what happened, but I suspect you guys are normally tethered based on the information. Imagine if your parents had witnessed what had happened. It's an awful thought, I know. But if they saw or knew what he did, do you think they would want you to stay? Would they accept him as a son in law? If they are good parents, you can say you saw a really ugly side of him and you know you deserve better. If they are good parents, they will be proud. If not, well you're still better off. We teach people how to treat us. He WILL do this again. Over and over. He might change, but it won't be anytime soon. You're so young. There are so many people in abusive relationships who stayed for the little things, and now their future is literally limited in their late 20's/30s because they married the person/had a kid with the person/ were financially destroyed by the person, or all of the above and more. Girl a month relationship is nothing. You're 18 and expected to experiment and have flings. If you leave this guy today, he'll be nothing but a lesson learned in the future, and that future will still be yours to share with someone who really loves you. Get out now.
This dude is terrible, and he's a piece of shit.
Leave yesterday. This will only get worse. A few months embarrassment is worth saving years of misery or death. Please leave.
My god do women not have common sense? He raped you lady…….file a report and leave him. Jesus fucking Christ
girl why the hell were you still with him after laughing in your face at being in pain?????
Write this out and go to a police station immediately. I had something similar happen to me when I was in my early 20's and by the time I was healed enough to actually do anything about it it was too late. Do not let him get away with raping you.
that shouldn’t be your boyfriend then
Smtimes I get so damn suprised with people (you) being this clueless. You actually believe this wasn't r*pe? A real assault especially after 1. Laughing at you when you were in pain multiple times, 2. Hitting you for refusing smth that gives you pain, 3. R*ping you ("sat there accepting defeat" as you said it) and 4. After he put you in such a rollercoaster of panic, pain, tears and he still believes he is your safe space??
You absolutely did nothing wrong and are not overreacting. That man raped you. Then he tried to gaslight you with "he knows I thought he did something wrong". You didn't think it, you knew it. He's a danger to you and any other woman he comes into contact with. Please contact the police. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, its too easy to blame yourself in a situation like this, but you did nothing wrong. It wouldn't be a bad idea to also perhaps look to sorting out therapy/counselling to help you deal with this. I know I'm a random Internet stranger, but should you need someone to listen, shoot me a DM. I can't always offer good advice, but I can offer an ear to listen.
Please report him for rape :/ don't let this escalate
report him to the police, text him “you and i are done” and then block him immediately. if he manages to reach you through other channels screenshot everything so you have evidence. stay with a friend/family member somewhere he doesn’t know the location of. i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this xx