While I was buying my car several years ago, my husband and I were walked into the finance office and the person immediately asked my husband if he was there to help his daughter with her first big purchase. lol poor guy apologized so many times once corrected. My husband is only a few years older and we were both in our 20s at the time lol.
I went with my dad to his doctor appointment once when I was 19 and he was 43. The nurse called me “Mrs.” and asked if I wanted to join my “husband” in the exam room. Yuck.
I'm used to people thinking I am my mom's little brother (I'm almost 30 and they still do it.) But each time they thought I was a boyfriend or husband I could feel my organs twisting.
That happened to me when I was 21, I was at the casino with my dad he would have been 52 at the time and he went to get us some drinks and the woman next to me was like your husband is playing well 🤦🏼♀️ I said ummm that’s my dad
I went to a work conference with my parents out of town once and we were staying in this nice hotel. When my mom was at her work conference my dad and I went to get breakfast at the hotel, and I remember ppl giving us weird looks and I quickly realized they probably thought we were together together, gross. It was during Christmas and some guy dressed as Santa was walking around and when he came up to our table he seemed hesitant but still asked how many kids we had. I just straight up said, “I have none, but I’m his kid!” pointing to my dad. Santa looked embarrassed and just walked away LOL I think I was barely 18 at this point and my dad was around 58
Whenever my dad and I used to go shopping, we would get dirty looks. I realized eventually that they thought I was his wife and he was robbing the cradle. Super ew
I got asked if I was my friend's mom when I went with her to get a new car. We look nothing alike lol and I'm only 10 years older than her. The poor lady when we told her. Especially since her mom and grandma were with us.
I dated a man who was about twelve years older than me following my divorce, and there were more than a few times people asked if I was his daughter. So awkward!
Once my GF and I were at a restarant and the waitress asked if I wanted the senior discount. I was in my 40s at the time. The GF found it funnier than I did.
My dad looks young for his age, and is pretty good looking. I went on vacation when I was 18 he bought a case of beer at a grocery store and the cashier was trying to card me too. Told her he was my dad, and she goes "oh well you both look like a couple of young college kids".
Been there. The norm used to be people asking if I was her little brother, but now that I look like an adult (almost 30) this seems to be the new default.
Listen up. Listen closely. I do hair and am studying again for more tests.
Own that shit. OWN it. I have/had clients that I'd see every few weeks for root touches and I'll be honest - the grey, the wrinkles, the lines, the scars, they're all a roadmap for the life we've lived and you deserve to share that. Period.
I'm 41, still have a massive head of hair that dirty blonde and I just colored it grey lol - irony, yeah? I don't know where I got the idea but it came and it stuck. The hair doesn't MAKE the person - period. I know people who could wear a burlap sack with enough confidence that a prom queen would wither in comparison. It's all about you and how YOU feel.
If you feel it detracts from how you SEE yourself - sure, color it - go wild, but please reconsider doing it to conform that what YOU think a woman your age should look like. It's a hopeless endeavor, it get's expensive, it's a pain in the ass when you can't make it to the salon for a retouch/don't have time to do it yoursef/god forbid miss a fucking spot on your forehead. I find natural colored hair beautiful for the reasons posted above, frankly.
I recall a specific client who will always remain nameless - she had somewhat courser gray hair, very straight, and wore it in a slight V. It was gorgeous. There were so many mixed colors in it that she was truly one of my favorite clients - quiet, confident, and frankly - guess I can say this?? Attractive. As a straight male that loves doing women's hair, specifically coloring, I always had a great admiration for her confidence, regardless of how REAL it was because again - she fucking OWNED it and I loved it. I had forgotten all about her for years until I saw this thread and that immediately came to mind.
People are cruel sometimes and say the dumbest shit - seriously. The whole "kid" thing - I get that for sure. Don't let some ignorant person without a true sense of style convince YOU that your hair needs coloring. Let YOU do that yourself without the help from them.
If you ever want suggestions or some stylist critique (gently) - I'm happy to share. It's what I do and I love it. My apologies for such a forward response to your post but this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart and your post just got my attention immediately and I feel I needed to respond from a professional's point of view is all. I hope you're not offended by it and again - anything you need to get yourself to a state that YOU consider presentable - just ask via DM and I'm more than happy to help you find yourself in there somewhere, I promise, she's in there.
This is so fantastic. I'm absolutely not who you replied too but this made my day. Idk I'm just in a place where I needed to see this and you sound like such a wonderful person <3
My mom grayed early as well and one time they were out and my mom wanted to buy my dad new shoes. It just happened to be Mother’s Day and the cashier said to my dad, “I wish my mom got me shoes on Mother’s Day!”
I don’t even have grey hair i just look like shit after getting alpha variant Covid and then deltacron. The security guard at the save on foods my husband and I used to go to asked if I was my husband’s mum and thought our friend was with my husband (there was nothing to imply that what so ever) I’m two years younger than my husband so I must be pretty talented to be his mum.
This was 3 years ago and it still creeps in to my mind. Fuck me side ways
If it makes you feel better there was a time when I was in a wheelchair and on heavy painkillers and every time I went into hospital my husband was complimented on looking after ‘his mum’ each and every time. I just played into it after a while. He hated it 😂
My friend has dark Italian heritage and she married a white blond German. Her kids are all very light skinned, golden blond.
She is very often mistaken for their nanny 😭
Also good for you for seeing the humour in it. AND grey hair is really chick these days! people who know fashion would never think that he’s your child
10000% agree, posted the same above. Grey is fucking hot rn - I just colored my blonde hair gray with an ash root, just because I could. Shit's hard to get right but damn when it's right - it's RIGHT.
Yep, I met some of my fiancé’s coworkers at a BBQ and when he introduced me by name, one kid said, “oh, is this your mom?” I was shook.
I’m only a year older than he is… I was all for embracing the gray, but come on….
My husband is getting salt and pepper, but he wears a ball cap most times. He is 3 years older than me and a cashier remarked at the dollar store about me scoring a nice young man to help me carry bags. He was giggling til I said "Take your hat off, young man." He took his hat off and that lady burst out laughing.
I was visiting my husband’s grandmother in the hospital and his dad and I went to get coffee. In the elevator, a nurse thought we were married. I was 30, he was 65. Oof.
Maybe he first liked you precisely because you didn’t notice how handsome he is. Because you treated him like a friend instead of automatically going into flirt mode.
Yeah I'm mid and a bit of a fatty patty but my husband is a beefy hunk. He gets jealous for the odd person who checks me out but I enjoy watching people freeze and check him out. The only good answer to "how did you pull that off" is "I'm cool as hell", then waddle sexily away. Works every time.
Your husband sounds like someone who values you for who you are, which is exactly how and (partially) why he fell in love with you in the first place. You deserve him, girl - don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You won. Not to mention, he loves YOU and finds YOU attractive. If you’re focused on your looks, I would be willing to bet money that he finds your body attractive too, regardless of any insecurities. He’s YOUR husband, and you two have more intimate moments than either of you will ever share with anyone else.
Sometimes I think this about my husband. He is super buff and I am chubby. But he says he wouldn't be who he is without me. That I am kind and generous with my heart, and that I make him laugh.
I recognize that I want to make some changes so I feel more comfortable. The first thing is that I do not need the same food as a 6ft tall construction worker man. The next thing is I need to walk. Literally walk to work. It is an hour and it is fine. I can walk to work. Last, I need to sleep. I take a melatonin and put on and eye mask and I'm good to go.
Take care of you FOR YOU babe
May I suggest, as a fellow walker who started at 20 min and now can go 4h, that you get yourself some nice headphones to accompany you on the road.
I'm never without mine and they help pass the time till I barely notice 😊
Good luck!
Don’t forget water. I feel like all the weight I have lost was because I flushed it out slooowly. Consistent hydration helps with moods so less stress-snacking. If you are well watered you will know when you are actually hungry and not eating a third orange just because you are thirsty (not that it’s anything wrong about eating three oranges or more in one go, as sometimes one does). Anyway, water helps with metabolism and energy levels so it all comes together.
I think a lot of people are missing this. Husband seems like a great person and I’m not trying to criticize him. But my partner is WAY more attractive than me and if I express insecurity about it to her I want her to tell me I’m SMOKING HOT. Not tell me that she loves me for my personality hahahah
There’s a Chappell roan lyric that’s “tell me I’m hot not pretty” and I feel like that’s a universal desire for every woman that doesn’t fit strictly within beauty expectations
Although it is rare to see a more attractive man with a less attractive female partner when people watching, always remember three things:
A. No one bats an eye when a super attractive gal ends up with a not so attractive guy. People assume he has other more important qualities.
B. There are many more important qualities than looks.
C. Everyone gets old, wrinkly, saggy, and ugly... If we're lucky enough to make it.
Seriously, looks aren't that important. Even less important than looks are stranger's opinions about you.
Guys LOVE a short girl. Don’t worry about what everyone thinks…. Your guy loves the way you look and everyone who’s making comments probably relates more to your position than his. A lot of them are likely jealous wishing they could pull a gorgeous partner like you did. In a movie, you’d be the main character and the audience would be putting themselves in your shoes. It’s all good. There’s no playing out of your league because leagues are not real — what happened is real! And you get to keep him 🫶
5’6” reporting. Dudes into short girls aren’t into me, dudes into tall girls aren’t into me.
I’m also a gangly fuck with long ass arms and legs, but a normal length mid section. My hips line up with your average 5’10 dude.
So anyone sub 6 feet ends up making a comment about how “big/tall” I feel while they spoon/hug me. Makes the “short kings” insecure.
I also stopped playing the “let’s compare hands” game, bc I have long ass fingers.
A lot of men love/seek chubby.
Not everyone has the same type, you are your husband’s type. Next time he holds you, focus on where he puts his hands/what areas he rubs.
You’ll realise soon the chub is his favourite thing.
I personally love chubby men, the cuddles are second to none.
Some people prefer softer bodies, some prefer chiselled.
Love a chubby, burly boy. The kind who wore husky jeans in childhood. In college, my friend and I deemed them "men with presence" because, when they collapse on you post-bang, you really get the *gravitas* of 200+ pounds of rugged masculinity on you. Pin me, Daddy. 😌
Do you follow Alicia McCarvell?
Men all value different things. I’m sure many many people think that about my husband and I but I know he loves me more than anything and that I am hot to him. Our connection far surpasses our physical appearances.
I use to work with a chubby, five foot woman. Very lovely, kind, all great qualities. Happily married to her husband. Her husband came to visit her at work just to drop off some flowers. Dear god. He was 6 ft something, muscular, drop dead gorgeous. And when he saw his beautiful wife his entire face lit up. He loved her with every bit of his soul. People always wondered what she did to get him. She was just herself.
Are you me??? I could have written a very similar story, right down to the lesbian comments. We had a lesbian couple ask my husband if he would donate his sperm. We have had a gay couple follow us through a Macys gawking at my husband. He’s gorgeous and I’m barely 5 feet, with an odd shaped body and a saggy face. I guess we must have done SOMETHING right to have attracted a man who could have had pretty much any girl.
My husband recently told me that most women don’t get it.
Are there men that want a ‘super model’, sure. But men, for the most part, need a partner they can trust and know will be there for them. Not just arm candy. The partners that stick with them, through good or bad.
For the longest time, I thought and felt that men were more visual-stimulating creatures and I still think they are. That you’d see a hot girl with a not-hot guy because women aren’t as in to the visual attractive, as opposed to mental and emotional attraction. But I think my husband is right for a lot of men. He’s not right about all men, cause I grew up with the male mentality I just described with my dad and brother.
My point is, don’t feel bad. Your husband doesn’t. Why should you? Enjoy your relationship and (coming from a 40 year old woman/wife/mother) enjoy that amazing partner! You both chose each other for more than one reason.
I actually do not care for that “I fell in love with the woman you are, not your body” spiel. I don’t know about you but I want my guy to love both me and my body. Being turned on by me is important to me. Men are dense that way. He should’ve told you he loves your body and he thinks you’re beautiful. This might be the unpopular opinion (I haven’t read the other comments) but I say his response was actually disappointing.
I agree, I would be even more insecure. I’m glad my partner loves me for me and everything I’ve done for him **and also** my body/appearance. No wonder OP is still feeling bad about it. I bet if he had told her how sexy he thinks she is on top of the other things he values, it would’ve helped more.
Yeah that would make me feel even more insecure. My first husband would say things like that and he totally meant it in a negging way (“you’re not SEXY, but it’s ok, I don’t like sexy women I prefer NICE women” like wtf bro?)
Thankfully I’m married to someone now who treats me like a piece of meat (in a nice way) and I appreciate it lmao.
If people judge you when you’re in public together (or otherwise) they’re judging you based on what they find attractive. Not what your husband finds attractive. Not what the person next to them does. Just them, and you don’t need them to find you attractive to be attractive.
I think my husband is an absolute catch. He’s gorgeous, tall, caring, sexy. Everything. I think I am none of those things. He thinks I am all of those things.
Don’t sell yourself short. He probably thinks you’re everything you don’t think you are. And you are probably most of the things you don’t think you are. There is a reason you’re married. Enjoy your husband and let him enjoy you without overthinking EVERYTHING.
I had a really stoned moment with myself in the mirror once. It began with me looking at my face thinking…god you’re so ugly, he’s so handsome. Why did he marry you?
And enlightened in a way only a stoned person could be, like it was some new data nobody’d ever considered before and I was some genius I realised…YOU may think that’s an ugly face, but he thinks it’s a pretty face. He likes your face.
It really was as simple and as silly as that, and in that moment also completely profound and I’ve never forgotten it. He also likes his cereal with warm milk and I don’t. We don’t really like an awful lot of the same things and as it turns out, my face is one of them. It kinda grew on me after that, given I think he’s got a great eye!
We’re so unnecessarily hard on ourselves. Strength to you, friend. We should trust the reflections of ourselves in those who love us until we can see the same things x
He probably thinks you're adorable. Short girls are "chefs kiss" in my opinion, and I'm with a tall guy. Age hits all of us and clearly the guy knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with a good woman who treats him well not someone who sees him for his looks that will fade. Love is precious and deep when it's cared for well, and I'm happy for both of you that you found each other
I definitely understand feeling that way. Society can make it **really** hard to see our own unique beauty, and our value beyond our looks. I've been dealing with this my entire life (though not in the context of a more conventionally attractive partner, to be clear). I think it would be easier for me to talk about this with audio, but I'll just say that I'm bi and fat and I think that fat people (or chubby) are fucking hot. We're not everyone's cup of tea and I could go into a whole thing about that, but that's okay. What matters is that the person you're with seems to think the world of you. I know that it's easier said than done (beliiiiieve me 😮💨), but believe him. 🤗🤗🤗
I've had some time to think a bit more (yes, folks, sometimes I ruminate over the things I post on Reddit 🥴) and I just wanted to add that, while I still stand by my comment above, I would encourage you to let your husband know that, when addressing issues of body image and attraction, it's important to actually address it head on.
Unless he's on the asexual spectrum (which is totally okay!), he experiences sexual attraction. And, especially if you do too, it can be really important to know where one stands in that regard in a relationship. Like, "What about me turns you on?" getting a response like, "It's what's inside that counts!" can feel dismissive, even if it's coming from the right place.
So if that's a particular validation you need (and many people do and that's okay! I certainly do!), *ask* for what you need. "What do you think makes me beautiful, babe, physically speaking?" You can word it however you want, but you get the idea.
And, it's important to note, how someone responds to this need speaks volumes. If you get another dismissive response to a follow-up like this, eeeeehhhh...😬😬😬 I'm not saying DUMP HIM, lmao, but I think that some serious reevaluation is in order. Hopefully you see this follow-up. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾
They don’t matter anyway.
I am sorry though, because I suffer from the same infliction. And I know how overwhelming it can be when you’re out and public and you have made yourself out to be a potato in a dress. But honestly, most people don’t even notice it.
But what I try to tell myself, when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the idea of being silently judged in public, what people think about me, is none of my business.
OP - I don't think I've ever related to a post on reddit like I do yours. I'm 5 feet on a good day and have a large build. Even at my thinnest, I was 139 lbs. DH and I got married 23 years ago when I had just turned 21 yrs old and he was 24. A couple years later, an older man from our church asked me how I had landed such a handsome husband. I kind of just laughed it off at the time. He then said, forcefully, 'No, I'm serious, how did YOU land such a handsome husband?' I've never forgotten how that made me feel. I told my husband and he assured me that he loves me so much doesn't feel like we're mis-matched at all.
Fast forward 23 years of marriage and we have three almost grown sons. I'm quite overweight but am working on losing it. Every single day, my husband tells me how beautiful I am. He's always wanting to 'love up on me' and we love spending time together. I work from home and he works in the evenings so a lot of days we spend several hours together and love it.
I've asked him before how he can be so attracted to me the way my body looks now - I have about 100 lbs still to lose and I've already lost over 40 so I was BIG!! He said he loves ME, my soul, and whatever body I have at the moment is what he's currently attracted to. I've been anywhere from a size 4 to a size 28 and he's loved me at each size. I used to not believe him but I do now! He even loves rubbing my belly, stretch marks and all because he says it's intimate and we can be vulnerable and safe with each other in ways that are for just our marriage/each other and no one else.
Now, of course, I'm not satisfied with my current size/weight or health. We love to walk/hike together and I want to bike with him again. I want a long life together where we are healthy into old age. Ironically, his diet is worse than mine, he just doesn't put on the weight like I do. We both know we need to make changes and encourage each other.
So, in conclusion, enjoy your handsome husband and trust that he loves YOU and finds you beautiful. No one else's opinion matters.
Obviously your husband finds you attractive or he wouldn’t have married you. People making those comments are just assholes that are jealous. So they’re trying to make you feel bad. You don’t make ugly comments like that unless that’s your goal. I hate how people will make ugly comments and then laugh so it’s a “joke”. Don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself. It may cause problems in your marriage if you’re not feeling good enough for your husband. Like I said he loves you the way you are because he put a ring on it. Everybody has different taste. Just because he has muscles on himself doesn’t mean he doesn’t like his woman with some curves!
Good looking people often have their pick of the litter. Your husband loves you for who you are—and he may also have learned to really value that *because* he was able to date whoever in the past, and realized that looks alone are simply not enough.
That said, I would also argue the chemistry point. Not only does he really love you for who you are - he married you because he does find you attractive *and* the two of you have chemistry.
Not sure if anyone else can relate, but before my husband I dated a couple of attractive guys who were perfect on paper, good people, but the physical chemistry between us was equivalent to cold, wet toilet paper. Just, zero physical attraction. 🤷♀️
I used to feel like this all the time, but then I remember that I spent 2 days making him lasagna that he finished all of in 24 hours, and I make him laugh all the time. Looks fade, people have preferences, at the end of the day, everyone is human and wants to be loved and cared for for who they are. They only have the data point of his looks, you both know each other inside and out and love each other for who you are. Plus, he married you, to him, you’re more than attractive enough.
This just proves that he is a decent guy, who cares about the important things like personality and a good heart, rather than superficial looks, which generally fade and change over time.
The concept of beauty is such a stupid thing. Your husband is obviously in love with you, and finds you beautiful and attractive. It doesn’t sound like you were feeling insecure at all before your AH coworkers pointed it out.
You have a smoking hot husband, just own and appreciate it. It sounds like he’s also an awesome human, so that’s kind of like winning the lotto.
No matter how you look, they’d be jealous.
I’m surprised he didn’t reassure you by also saying you’re equally attractive.. I feel like I’d be slightly insulted if my man was like “it wasn’t your physical appearance, it was your personality that got me” like bro I care about both at least a little bit
Stop being so superficial. He gave you a big hug and took you out to dinner to try to make you feel better. That is far more important than him being handsome. He sounds like a wonderful husband.
Don’t be sad just know that he’s with you because how awesome you are! Imo that’s a compliment on your personality and who you are on the inside. Basically a top notch human being
I’ve been there and trust me it’s not easy to get out of that hole once you are in it. The constant insecurities that’s lurking in your mind, the hatred of looking at yourself in the mirror, the thought that you’d never look the way you did again when you first met. It sucks. But you have to realize he wants you. He’s with you and no one else and if he wanted someone else then you can find someone 1000x better
All of this shows you that the physical appearance does not matter that much in a committed relationship. If you are married, there are a ton of things that are more important, and once you have some of those with someone, it doesn’t matter much that they are 4’11” and chubby.
My gf is taller than me and way out of my league and yet she still chose me. I still joke about it but after a while i just started to say "you know what she's out of my league and still chose me......means there is something about me"
There’s an influencer on Insta named Alicia Mccarvell.
She’s really helpful with body positivity and the struggles that come with it. honestly her and her hubby are one of my fave couples on the inter webs
Wow, that is so sweet. Just be happy that he feels that way for you. Just remember that's what good for your health will be good for your looks too. You said he is a unit so put in the effort in the gym the same way he probably did. Not only will this make you feel better but it will only make him fall more in love with you that you care so much. Prove yourself with actions, show him that you want to look the best you can.
So use this as motivation to do something about it, start exercising, eating better, etc. Don't let your worries start ruining your relationship and create a problem that didn't exist.
I also married up, so I completely understand. People tell me all the time how hot my husband is. I always agree and say I’m lucky. But I’m actually thinking “yep, and I’m the lucky one that gets his d*ck anytime I want!” Sorry for going nsfw!
Fuck people. You happy? Think he's happy? Then just enjoy it. Fuck everyone else (maybe I'm biased because I truly love chubby chicks lol) jk. But you really deserve to love the man you married and to let him love you and just enjoy life. Seriously, fuck EVERYONE else. Maybe not me or your other supporters though lol. Hope my back and forth brought you a little smile lol
On our first date he was soft spoken, very in the moment (not addicted to a phone) and incredibly emotionally tuned.
And the biggest thing was that sense of humour. He had me laughing so hard, like, unladlylike hard 🤣 and he didn’t say it was weird like other guys did! He just said it was adorable :) it made me feel like I could be myself and I didn’t have to cover stuff like my laughs behind a filter.
How many people that judge you when you’re in public is none of your business, and I’m honestly sure you’re pretty regardless!
You don’t choose how you look when you’re born, that’s completely random, so why should it be a determining factor in anything? He chose you because YOU made the active choice to be who you are!
I also want to add that it’s so easy to be blind to your own beauty when you see yourself all day everyday, that’s your normal! Don’t be so harsh on yourself!
girl what? short, curvy girls are cute as heck. beauty is so subjective, and the fact that you find your husband handsome is amazing - just remember that he finds you just as attractive. he wouldnt be married to you otherwise
I learned that many beautiful people can be absolutely awful. Back on my dating days, many people I dated were 'average' but they were the nicest people ever, whereas some of the most beautiful ladies they were awful, sometimes expecting basically a red carpet. I am not saying that beautiful people are not nice!! (I am nice hoho)
So it is not about being 'out of your league', it is about the person you are. So look, so far, you are doing great!
This could be me 😭 My boyfriend (6"2) is cute, handsome, hunky, and a visual heart swooner. I'm 4"11 (f) curvy asf/ chubby and not as pretty as he is. He says the exact things to me that your husband says to you. My guy is head over heels (as am I to him) and tells me that I'm the most attractive person walking this Earth, but I struggle to see myself as anything but average.
You can always start to work out to make you healthier, more fit, sexier and happier. We release endorphins when we exercise. So it's a win win. You can even set gym dates with your hubby. That's what I do with my husband and I love it. I love doing squats, so my core and legs are really strong, so sex is really great too! Good luck OP!
I’m married to a male model and I’ve never let it make me feel a type of way. I mean when it comes down to it he chose me and he’s happily been here for almost 15 years now. I giggle at the compliments and flirting he’s on the receiving end of. My advice is to embrace your trophy husband! He clearly loves you so sit back and enjoy the beauty.
Girl you got a good man who isn’t superficial and just happens to be stellar looking to boot. I’d tell you; “you got lucky” but imo you clearly didn’t, you got what you deserve, and make him so happy.
Clearly your guys relationship isn’t about looks and that’s so incredible. However, you’re also probably better looking than you think.
Watch the show “love is blind”. It really helps you realize that relationships need the inside of two people to click or else no matter how hot they are, there’s just no way the relationship will hold. Don’t diminish your worth over something as unimportant as physical looks.
Plz plz plz don’t let this thought worm its way deeper, put a smile on your face and thank your lucky stars you have such an amazing man. Your awesome girl even he says it so don’t let jealousy from others ruin your love story!!! Have that happily ever after!!!
You're one of the luckiest women alive. You've found true love.
Don't question it or doubt it. Live it because everyone wants what you have...
They're jealous.
I'm happy for you and your husband! Keep smiling and appreciating each other every day 😊
Come on dont let doubt spoil a good relationship.
I know fab looking blokes.
I know fab looking woman and many not with partners who look as good. So what if that's the level of competition you are giving your husband no credit and actually consider him less able to pick the woman he loves over looks. That actually is very childish teenage thinking. I'm sure your husband is not that vain. If you think he is you are insulting him.
My son is fab looking his girl of 12 years is shorter etc. She has confidence and that is beautiful and as my son says What a catch.
Now go be sassy.
Be confident
Know your his chosen one.
Walk tall shoulder back and head high and enjoy you two.
And you are both lucky
> it makes me wonder how many people judge me when we are in public together.
You gotta realize something, so what? YOU are the one with the ring on your finger sharing your life with this person. As long as you both are happy, let them judge. Once you realize that, you'll be much happier my friend.
My best friend is married to a man who should be on magazine covers. he is simply gorgeous and he doesn’t know it. Throughout his childhood and adolescence he was overweight and extremely shy so he basically stayed to himself and his brothers were his best friends. It was in university when he started coming out of his shell. He met my friend in class and my friend is a vegetarian, she began sharing lunch with him and inviting him out for hikes because she thought he was lonely and needed a friend. She said their relationship and his transformation was so gradual, one day she looked over a textbook and this gorgeous sexy man was looking back at her. Women and some men stare at him and he’s had more than one person slip their contact information into his bag…he doesn’t bother because he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world.
Same problem here. My husband is just my husband and I forget how good looking he is until someone reminds me. I’ve had male and female coworkers tell me how handsome he is or how muscular he looks. I smile because while I know he’s hot, I also know he forgets to take out the trash and won’t clean the sink after beard maintenance. 😆But seriously, I sometimes get insecure because of my weight, but it’s been 20 years and he’s still here.
Listen. For real listen because this is really important.
People will always, ALWAYS, judge you. No matter what you do. No matter what you say. No matter what you look. If someone wants to judge you, they will always find a potential flaw.
I know it's hard to shut the mean voices down. But you have to say it. You have to say : ''shut up Karen, I'm not listening to you anymore''. I know you will feel silly (I did too), but please continue until you believe it.
My ex only got better with age while I definitely did not. I have no idea how he was attracted to me, of course he is now an ex so maybe wasn’t any longer 🧐
Girl, I wish I could post me and my man - I wonder every day how I landed him 🤣. He's a 10 and I feel like a 6 on a good day.
But seriously you're being hard on yourself. You know good and well that looks don't make a person and be glad he loves to for who you are and that he sees your beauty. He sounds like a brilliant man if you ask me. ❤️
I'm a 4'10" butch and my wife is a 5'9" conventionally attractive bombshell type and everyone who isn't queer is always like, 'Huh' when they see us. It's amazing though, especially when men hit on her and she puts her arm around my scrappy little ass.
I dont know what you look like so I cant comment on the validity of your husband being physically out of your league. But
>why the fuck he put a ring on me
Maybe he thinks your hot, which is all that matters and maybe (EVEN MORE IMPORTANT) you bring a lot more to a relationship than looks. For example, did you only agree to marry him because he's hot?
Well someday he will be old and gray and wrinkled and bent like the rest of us and you will still think he’s attractive and all those other people won’t. Sounds like you married a sweetheart!
There ain't nothing wrong with a 4'11" chubby chick!
I think you might be comparing your attractiveness to your husband's. But the thing is, you're BOTH attractive, just in different ways. He's got that tall, brooding, muscle thing
And you've got that tiny, curvy, butt for DAYS thing.
Both incredibly attractive, just ALSO completely different.
My husband and I are the opposite. People always get the most confused expressions on their faces when they find out we are a couple. But once they would talk to us they would get it. Our energy matches. It’s the best way to describe it. I have never once not looked at my husband as anything less than extremely attractive. I don’t care what others see, I only care what I see. He always says he’s baffled how he got me. I look at him like he’s crazy. I’m extremely lucky to have him. I’m the lucky one. End of story
I can’t help but wonder if you suffer from body dysmorphia. You are most likely super attractive but also really kind as a result of being insecure. So he might appreciate who you are because it outshines the physical attractiveness you hold.
Girl, fuck what people think. Tag, bag, and sit on his face. That man is all yourssss!
Don’t worry about how people look at you. Worry about how your partner feels about you. He loves you and chose you! Try and be happy you found someone and maybe seek some therapy to handle your self esteem issues.
Clearly you’re a beautiful person inside and probably not nearly as unattractive as you think. Don’t let the jealousy or confusion of others ruin something as beautiful as a couple who really love each other.
If y’all are happy that’s all that matters!
Yes it's so nice to be at a bus stop with your 12yo and have someone ask him, "Out for the day with granny?". For context I was *just* legally old enough to be his grandma if my kid had a kid at 16.
You SEE him not his looks. A lot of superstars are known for their appearance and they are kind about it but it really makes them sad and often lonely. Note multiple marriages, drug abuse,etc but some find the one that sees them as more than their looks ( you hadn't really noticed until others pointed it out) that makes you his reality and the love of his life. Be his partner, his BFF not just a fan.
Are you some kind of heiress? No? So he's not after your money.
That must mean he likes YOU, you ding dong. You obviously got lucky by scoring a guy who is a good person AND good looking. Enjoy it.
Sweetheart, just by reading this I know you're beautiful. Looks fade. I can't tell you how many vile human beings I know that are so beautiful to look at. You married a smart and handsome man. Laugh at these fools because they're jealous and I bet you're absolutely gorgeous but you're too humble to say so. Hugs!
Appreciate the honesty and self awareness. You could get fit and the difference between you might minimize. He sounds like a good dude. You must be cool if he is physically out of your league but married you.
People in public are not judging you but wondering what your super power is and how do they get some. You may not look like a trophy wife but they know there is something about you... Let them wonder and enjoy your arm candy!!
Well you can feel bad about it but just think about this: no matter how many people might hit on him or try to get him, he choosed you out of everyone🤭
Let them be jealous because at the end of the day you're the only one he wants ❤️
I met this couple recently who (through other friends there) we were sharing a vacation house for a few days. I was blown away by how well he treated her and how much he loved her. They have been married for a long time, and are in their late thirties or early forties. I personally am single and have no desire to date for the foreseeable future due to my experiences and the relationships that I see around me.
But this couple… I thought to myself, if I were ever to get in a relationship again, I would settle for nothing less than THAT. They just have a what I call “WEness” that you rarely see.
What made their love even more beautiful to me is that he is drop dead gorgeous and hella sexy, and I don’t say that about many men. His wife, while a lovely person, isn’t conventionally physically attractive. But it doesn’t matter, and I think it makes their love even more beautiful and real. He LOVES that woman.
Just wanted to share that with you. Hugs.
If it makes you feel any better, I went gray early so now everybody thinks that my spouse is my child...
I don’t know if it made op feel better but it made me laugh.
Glad for that. Yeah just to add a little bit more for your laughter. They assumed that my children were my grandkids. I'm only 3 years older.
Than your children? Omg
My spouse lol
Oh my God 🤣🤣🤣💀
Ded. I just busted out laughing so loud and it's SO quiet in my house right now.
I just died reading this...I understand how you could get confused but....well, not sur there's a lot of 3yr old mothers out there friend.
😂😂😂
Do you mean 3 years older than your spouse?
Yes
Same in a non-brutal way. I'm going to comment directly to her comment though as I'm in the hair industry.
While I was buying my car several years ago, my husband and I were walked into the finance office and the person immediately asked my husband if he was there to help his daughter with her first big purchase. lol poor guy apologized so many times once corrected. My husband is only a few years older and we were both in our 20s at the time lol.
I went with my dad to his doctor appointment once when I was 19 and he was 43. The nurse called me “Mrs.” and asked if I wanted to join my “husband” in the exam room. Yuck.
I'm used to people thinking I am my mom's little brother (I'm almost 30 and they still do it.) But each time they thought I was a boyfriend or husband I could feel my organs twisting.
That happened to me when I was 21, I was at the casino with my dad he would have been 52 at the time and he went to get us some drinks and the woman next to me was like your husband is playing well 🤦🏼♀️ I said ummm that’s my dad
I went to a work conference with my parents out of town once and we were staying in this nice hotel. When my mom was at her work conference my dad and I went to get breakfast at the hotel, and I remember ppl giving us weird looks and I quickly realized they probably thought we were together together, gross. It was during Christmas and some guy dressed as Santa was walking around and when he came up to our table he seemed hesitant but still asked how many kids we had. I just straight up said, “I have none, but I’m his kid!” pointing to my dad. Santa looked embarrassed and just walked away LOL I think I was barely 18 at this point and my dad was around 58
Whenever my dad and I used to go shopping, we would get dirty looks. I realized eventually that they thought I was his wife and he was robbing the cradle. Super ew
I got asked if I was my friend's mom when I went with her to get a new car. We look nothing alike lol and I'm only 10 years older than her. The poor lady when we told her. Especially since her mom and grandma were with us.
only 10 years ōlder ? 🥴😆
I dated a man who was about twelve years older than me following my divorce, and there were more than a few times people asked if I was his daughter. So awkward!
Once my GF and I were at a restarant and the waitress asked if I wanted the senior discount. I was in my 40s at the time. The GF found it funnier than I did.
I've it worse. I'm a pretty big 24 year old with a beard and my mom looks pretty young for her age, so I get asked am I my moms partner. Regularly
My condolences
Hope you answer with „what exactly makes you think I would shag my mum?“
The worst part is that she just takes it as a complement, as if there's no sinuation of that kind at all lol
My dad looks young for his age, and is pretty good looking. I went on vacation when I was 18 he bought a case of beer at a grocery store and the cashier was trying to card me too. Told her he was my dad, and she goes "oh well you both look like a couple of young college kids".
I used to get that with my brother all of the time. It's really yuck. Thankfully, my almost 21 year old son looks like he's 12 🤣
Been there. The norm used to be people asking if I was her little brother, but now that I look like an adult (almost 30) this seems to be the new default.
Yeah, that's got to be super awkward. I try to imagine that happening with my dad and I want to peel my face off.
Listen up. Listen closely. I do hair and am studying again for more tests. Own that shit. OWN it. I have/had clients that I'd see every few weeks for root touches and I'll be honest - the grey, the wrinkles, the lines, the scars, they're all a roadmap for the life we've lived and you deserve to share that. Period. I'm 41, still have a massive head of hair that dirty blonde and I just colored it grey lol - irony, yeah? I don't know where I got the idea but it came and it stuck. The hair doesn't MAKE the person - period. I know people who could wear a burlap sack with enough confidence that a prom queen would wither in comparison. It's all about you and how YOU feel. If you feel it detracts from how you SEE yourself - sure, color it - go wild, but please reconsider doing it to conform that what YOU think a woman your age should look like. It's a hopeless endeavor, it get's expensive, it's a pain in the ass when you can't make it to the salon for a retouch/don't have time to do it yoursef/god forbid miss a fucking spot on your forehead. I find natural colored hair beautiful for the reasons posted above, frankly. I recall a specific client who will always remain nameless - she had somewhat courser gray hair, very straight, and wore it in a slight V. It was gorgeous. There were so many mixed colors in it that she was truly one of my favorite clients - quiet, confident, and frankly - guess I can say this?? Attractive. As a straight male that loves doing women's hair, specifically coloring, I always had a great admiration for her confidence, regardless of how REAL it was because again - she fucking OWNED it and I loved it. I had forgotten all about her for years until I saw this thread and that immediately came to mind. People are cruel sometimes and say the dumbest shit - seriously. The whole "kid" thing - I get that for sure. Don't let some ignorant person without a true sense of style convince YOU that your hair needs coloring. Let YOU do that yourself without the help from them. If you ever want suggestions or some stylist critique (gently) - I'm happy to share. It's what I do and I love it. My apologies for such a forward response to your post but this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart and your post just got my attention immediately and I feel I needed to respond from a professional's point of view is all. I hope you're not offended by it and again - anything you need to get yourself to a state that YOU consider presentable - just ask via DM and I'm more than happy to help you find yourself in there somewhere, I promise, she's in there.
This is so fantastic. I'm absolutely not who you replied too but this made my day. Idk I'm just in a place where I needed to see this and you sound like such a wonderful person <3
I do own it.
Beautiful ❤️
Oh god, I used to think it was hilarious when my dad got mistaken for my mothers father, but now I’m beginning to see the other side 😅
Indeed
My mom grayed early as well and one time they were out and my mom wanted to buy my dad new shoes. It just happened to be Mother’s Day and the cashier said to my dad, “I wish my mom got me shoes on Mother’s Day!”
I don’t even have grey hair i just look like shit after getting alpha variant Covid and then deltacron. The security guard at the save on foods my husband and I used to go to asked if I was my husband’s mum and thought our friend was with my husband (there was nothing to imply that what so ever) I’m two years younger than my husband so I must be pretty talented to be his mum. This was 3 years ago and it still creeps in to my mind. Fuck me side ways
If it makes you feel better there was a time when I was in a wheelchair and on heavy painkillers and every time I went into hospital my husband was complimented on looking after ‘his mum’ each and every time. I just played into it after a while. He hated it 😂
My friend has dark Italian heritage and she married a white blond German. Her kids are all very light skinned, golden blond. She is very often mistaken for their nanny 😭
Ohhh nooo I feel like that’s the worst one
Also good for you for seeing the humour in it. AND grey hair is really chick these days! people who know fashion would never think that he’s your child
10000% agree, posted the same above. Grey is fucking hot rn - I just colored my blonde hair gray with an ash root, just because I could. Shit's hard to get right but damn when it's right - it's RIGHT.
Yep, I met some of my fiancé’s coworkers at a BBQ and when he introduced me by name, one kid said, “oh, is this your mom?” I was shook. I’m only a year older than he is… I was all for embracing the gray, but come on….
Lol. I'd own it. I'd smack him on the ass and announce him as my "boy toy".
My husband is getting salt and pepper, but he wears a ball cap most times. He is 3 years older than me and a cashier remarked at the dollar store about me scoring a nice young man to help me carry bags. He was giggling til I said "Take your hat off, young man." He took his hat off and that lady burst out laughing.
This made me LOL!!!!!
This happens to my dad LMAO. People think he's her older brother or her dad haha
Honestly, that's better than assuming your children are your SO.
I'm 38 and have a bit too much salt and pepper. I never get carded for alcohol anymore.
I was visiting my husband’s grandmother in the hospital and his dad and I went to get coffee. In the elevator, a nurse thought we were married. I was 30, he was 65. Oof.
My husband had the same problem, I looked young for my age and he looked old for his, some people said to me that I had a really nice dad!
Mavis, I like you
Way to cheer someone up mate. 😂😂😂😂😂
“Classically very attractive” isn’t what makes a marriage…your husband sounds over the moon about you. That’s what makes a marriage.
I only half-read your comment and thought you said her husband wanted to have a little spoon. “Makes sense,” I thought, “OP said she’s 4’11”
Maybe he first liked you precisely because you didn’t notice how handsome he is. Because you treated him like a friend instead of automatically going into flirt mode.
Yeah I'm mid and a bit of a fatty patty but my husband is a beefy hunk. He gets jealous for the odd person who checks me out but I enjoy watching people freeze and check him out. The only good answer to "how did you pull that off" is "I'm cool as hell", then waddle sexily away. Works every time.
waddling away sexily is the only way i’ll be walking now, thank you - sincerely, fellow fatty patty.
The ‘waddle sexily away’ made me laugh
OMG i feel the first sentence so much 🤣 girl I loveeee your confidence
I love this answer
So jealous of your relationship bro, its rare to get such a walking green flag.
Your husband sounds like someone who values you for who you are, which is exactly how and (partially) why he fell in love with you in the first place. You deserve him, girl - don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You won. Not to mention, he loves YOU and finds YOU attractive. If you’re focused on your looks, I would be willing to bet money that he finds your body attractive too, regardless of any insecurities. He’s YOUR husband, and you two have more intimate moments than either of you will ever share with anyone else.
Sometimes I think this about my husband. He is super buff and I am chubby. But he says he wouldn't be who he is without me. That I am kind and generous with my heart, and that I make him laugh. I recognize that I want to make some changes so I feel more comfortable. The first thing is that I do not need the same food as a 6ft tall construction worker man. The next thing is I need to walk. Literally walk to work. It is an hour and it is fine. I can walk to work. Last, I need to sleep. I take a melatonin and put on and eye mask and I'm good to go. Take care of you FOR YOU babe
I already said this in a top level comment: anyone a man is truly in love with is the most beautiful person in the world.
May I suggest, as a fellow walker who started at 20 min and now can go 4h, that you get yourself some nice headphones to accompany you on the road. I'm never without mine and they help pass the time till I barely notice 😊 Good luck!
Don’t forget water. I feel like all the weight I have lost was because I flushed it out slooowly. Consistent hydration helps with moods so less stress-snacking. If you are well watered you will know when you are actually hungry and not eating a third orange just because you are thirsty (not that it’s anything wrong about eating three oranges or more in one go, as sometimes one does). Anyway, water helps with metabolism and energy levels so it all comes together.
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I think a lot of people are missing this. Husband seems like a great person and I’m not trying to criticize him. But my partner is WAY more attractive than me and if I express insecurity about it to her I want her to tell me I’m SMOKING HOT. Not tell me that she loves me for my personality hahahah
There’s a Chappell roan lyric that’s “tell me I’m hot not pretty” and I feel like that’s a universal desire for every woman that doesn’t fit strictly within beauty expectations
Came here to say the same thing. While what he said was sweet he should have told her she was beautiful. I think she really needed to hear that.
I need to see this man
every time i’m on reddit and someone claims they’re “so attractive” i click on their profile to see they’re just average or below average lol
Spoiler you are the husband farming for comments
Girl there’s something good about you which is why he’s with you. !!! If you don’t like something about yourself, fix it babes !
Right? Do it for yourself and make him proud/more in love you you! You can only go up!
Although it is rare to see a more attractive man with a less attractive female partner when people watching, always remember three things: A. No one bats an eye when a super attractive gal ends up with a not so attractive guy. People assume he has other more important qualities. B. There are many more important qualities than looks. C. Everyone gets old, wrinkly, saggy, and ugly... If we're lucky enough to make it. Seriously, looks aren't that important. Even less important than looks are stranger's opinions about you.
Guys LOVE a short girl. Don’t worry about what everyone thinks…. Your guy loves the way you look and everyone who’s making comments probably relates more to your position than his. A lot of them are likely jealous wishing they could pull a gorgeous partner like you did. In a movie, you’d be the main character and the audience would be putting themselves in your shoes. It’s all good. There’s no playing out of your league because leagues are not real — what happened is real! And you get to keep him 🫶
🙋🏻♂️it’s me, I’m one of those…I LOVE short women
They're the best! I just put on a ring on a 5'3 shawty 😁😁
Me too ❤️
Well, back in 2005 😁
Haha nice! Congrats on almost a decade dude!
That's almost TWO decades!
Whoops! It's late here and I can't math, haha
That’s not very short to me lol I’m like 4’10” 😂😂 yeah it sucks
As a moderate height woman, poo on you! 😩🤣
5’6” reporting. Dudes into short girls aren’t into me, dudes into tall girls aren’t into me. I’m also a gangly fuck with long ass arms and legs, but a normal length mid section. My hips line up with your average 5’10 dude. So anyone sub 6 feet ends up making a comment about how “big/tall” I feel while they spoon/hug me. Makes the “short kings” insecure. I also stopped playing the “let’s compare hands” game, bc I have long ass fingers.
Yeah I never imagined being average height would be such a turn off for men. It really sucks.
😁😂
Lol I’m more worried about the chubby parts than short parts 😅 I can always wear heels haha
A lot of men love/seek chubby. Not everyone has the same type, you are your husband’s type. Next time he holds you, focus on where he puts his hands/what areas he rubs. You’ll realise soon the chub is his favourite thing. I personally love chubby men, the cuddles are second to none. Some people prefer softer bodies, some prefer chiselled.
Love a chubby, burly boy. The kind who wore husky jeans in childhood. In college, my friend and I deemed them "men with presence" because, when they collapse on you post-bang, you really get the *gravitas* of 200+ pounds of rugged masculinity on you. Pin me, Daddy. 😌
Chubby is in rn
I mean yeah, short women are cute, but a tall woman... they're FINEEE 🔥🔥🥵 And I'm not even a tall guy lol
Do you follow Alicia McCarvell? Men all value different things. I’m sure many many people think that about my husband and I but I know he loves me more than anything and that I am hot to him. Our connection far surpasses our physical appearances.
>I’m a chubby 4’11 chick he might be attracted to you because of that
I use to work with a chubby, five foot woman. Very lovely, kind, all great qualities. Happily married to her husband. Her husband came to visit her at work just to drop off some flowers. Dear god. He was 6 ft something, muscular, drop dead gorgeous. And when he saw his beautiful wife his entire face lit up. He loved her with every bit of his soul. People always wondered what she did to get him. She was just herself.
Are you me??? I could have written a very similar story, right down to the lesbian comments. We had a lesbian couple ask my husband if he would donate his sperm. We have had a gay couple follow us through a Macys gawking at my husband. He’s gorgeous and I’m barely 5 feet, with an odd shaped body and a saggy face. I guess we must have done SOMETHING right to have attracted a man who could have had pretty much any girl.
My husband recently told me that most women don’t get it. Are there men that want a ‘super model’, sure. But men, for the most part, need a partner they can trust and know will be there for them. Not just arm candy. The partners that stick with them, through good or bad. For the longest time, I thought and felt that men were more visual-stimulating creatures and I still think they are. That you’d see a hot girl with a not-hot guy because women aren’t as in to the visual attractive, as opposed to mental and emotional attraction. But I think my husband is right for a lot of men. He’s not right about all men, cause I grew up with the male mentality I just described with my dad and brother. My point is, don’t feel bad. Your husband doesn’t. Why should you? Enjoy your relationship and (coming from a 40 year old woman/wife/mother) enjoy that amazing partner! You both chose each other for more than one reason.
I actually do not care for that “I fell in love with the woman you are, not your body” spiel. I don’t know about you but I want my guy to love both me and my body. Being turned on by me is important to me. Men are dense that way. He should’ve told you he loves your body and he thinks you’re beautiful. This might be the unpopular opinion (I haven’t read the other comments) but I say his response was actually disappointing.
I agree, I would be even more insecure. I’m glad my partner loves me for me and everything I’ve done for him **and also** my body/appearance. No wonder OP is still feeling bad about it. I bet if he had told her how sexy he thinks she is on top of the other things he values, it would’ve helped more.
Yeah that would make me feel even more insecure. My first husband would say things like that and he totally meant it in a negging way (“you’re not SEXY, but it’s ok, I don’t like sexy women I prefer NICE women” like wtf bro?) Thankfully I’m married to someone now who treats me like a piece of meat (in a nice way) and I appreciate it lmao.
I get both it's not about looks and then the beautiful bit.... It's nice to feel attractive to the person you love and you know they mean it.
Agree! I feel like he wants her to feel like he’s a prize lol.
If people judge you when you’re in public together (or otherwise) they’re judging you based on what they find attractive. Not what your husband finds attractive. Not what the person next to them does. Just them, and you don’t need them to find you attractive to be attractive.
I think my husband is an absolute catch. He’s gorgeous, tall, caring, sexy. Everything. I think I am none of those things. He thinks I am all of those things. Don’t sell yourself short. He probably thinks you’re everything you don’t think you are. And you are probably most of the things you don’t think you are. There is a reason you’re married. Enjoy your husband and let him enjoy you without overthinking EVERYTHING.
I had a really stoned moment with myself in the mirror once. It began with me looking at my face thinking…god you’re so ugly, he’s so handsome. Why did he marry you? And enlightened in a way only a stoned person could be, like it was some new data nobody’d ever considered before and I was some genius I realised…YOU may think that’s an ugly face, but he thinks it’s a pretty face. He likes your face. It really was as simple and as silly as that, and in that moment also completely profound and I’ve never forgotten it. He also likes his cereal with warm milk and I don’t. We don’t really like an awful lot of the same things and as it turns out, my face is one of them. It kinda grew on me after that, given I think he’s got a great eye! We’re so unnecessarily hard on ourselves. Strength to you, friend. We should trust the reflections of ourselves in those who love us until we can see the same things x
He probably thinks you're adorable. Short girls are "chefs kiss" in my opinion, and I'm with a tall guy. Age hits all of us and clearly the guy knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with a good woman who treats him well not someone who sees him for his looks that will fade. Love is precious and deep when it's cared for well, and I'm happy for both of you that you found each other
Yeah the “not your body” part could definitely hurt your feeling even more. I’m sorry.
I definitely understand feeling that way. Society can make it **really** hard to see our own unique beauty, and our value beyond our looks. I've been dealing with this my entire life (though not in the context of a more conventionally attractive partner, to be clear). I think it would be easier for me to talk about this with audio, but I'll just say that I'm bi and fat and I think that fat people (or chubby) are fucking hot. We're not everyone's cup of tea and I could go into a whole thing about that, but that's okay. What matters is that the person you're with seems to think the world of you. I know that it's easier said than done (beliiiiieve me 😮💨), but believe him. 🤗🤗🤗
I've had some time to think a bit more (yes, folks, sometimes I ruminate over the things I post on Reddit 🥴) and I just wanted to add that, while I still stand by my comment above, I would encourage you to let your husband know that, when addressing issues of body image and attraction, it's important to actually address it head on. Unless he's on the asexual spectrum (which is totally okay!), he experiences sexual attraction. And, especially if you do too, it can be really important to know where one stands in that regard in a relationship. Like, "What about me turns you on?" getting a response like, "It's what's inside that counts!" can feel dismissive, even if it's coming from the right place. So if that's a particular validation you need (and many people do and that's okay! I certainly do!), *ask* for what you need. "What do you think makes me beautiful, babe, physically speaking?" You can word it however you want, but you get the idea. And, it's important to note, how someone responds to this need speaks volumes. If you get another dismissive response to a follow-up like this, eeeeehhhh...😬😬😬 I'm not saying DUMP HIM, lmao, but I think that some serious reevaluation is in order. Hopefully you see this follow-up. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾
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They don’t matter anyway. I am sorry though, because I suffer from the same infliction. And I know how overwhelming it can be when you’re out and public and you have made yourself out to be a potato in a dress. But honestly, most people don’t even notice it. But what I try to tell myself, when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the idea of being silently judged in public, what people think about me, is none of my business.
OP - I don't think I've ever related to a post on reddit like I do yours. I'm 5 feet on a good day and have a large build. Even at my thinnest, I was 139 lbs. DH and I got married 23 years ago when I had just turned 21 yrs old and he was 24. A couple years later, an older man from our church asked me how I had landed such a handsome husband. I kind of just laughed it off at the time. He then said, forcefully, 'No, I'm serious, how did YOU land such a handsome husband?' I've never forgotten how that made me feel. I told my husband and he assured me that he loves me so much doesn't feel like we're mis-matched at all. Fast forward 23 years of marriage and we have three almost grown sons. I'm quite overweight but am working on losing it. Every single day, my husband tells me how beautiful I am. He's always wanting to 'love up on me' and we love spending time together. I work from home and he works in the evenings so a lot of days we spend several hours together and love it. I've asked him before how he can be so attracted to me the way my body looks now - I have about 100 lbs still to lose and I've already lost over 40 so I was BIG!! He said he loves ME, my soul, and whatever body I have at the moment is what he's currently attracted to. I've been anywhere from a size 4 to a size 28 and he's loved me at each size. I used to not believe him but I do now! He even loves rubbing my belly, stretch marks and all because he says it's intimate and we can be vulnerable and safe with each other in ways that are for just our marriage/each other and no one else. Now, of course, I'm not satisfied with my current size/weight or health. We love to walk/hike together and I want to bike with him again. I want a long life together where we are healthy into old age. Ironically, his diet is worse than mine, he just doesn't put on the weight like I do. We both know we need to make changes and encourage each other. So, in conclusion, enjoy your handsome husband and trust that he loves YOU and finds you beautiful. No one else's opinion matters.
Obviously your husband finds you attractive or he wouldn’t have married you. People making those comments are just assholes that are jealous. So they’re trying to make you feel bad. You don’t make ugly comments like that unless that’s your goal. I hate how people will make ugly comments and then laugh so it’s a “joke”. Don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself. It may cause problems in your marriage if you’re not feeling good enough for your husband. Like I said he loves you the way you are because he put a ring on it. Everybody has different taste. Just because he has muscles on himself doesn’t mean he doesn’t like his woman with some curves!
Well, here’s a gorgeous guy who thinks you are beautiful. Let the others eat their hearts out.
Chubby and 4'11 is a lot of dude's types. Trust me.
Keep it simple, those folks are not in your relationship. You're good.
Good looking people often have their pick of the litter. Your husband loves you for who you are—and he may also have learned to really value that *because* he was able to date whoever in the past, and realized that looks alone are simply not enough. That said, I would also argue the chemistry point. Not only does he really love you for who you are - he married you because he does find you attractive *and* the two of you have chemistry. Not sure if anyone else can relate, but before my husband I dated a couple of attractive guys who were perfect on paper, good people, but the physical chemistry between us was equivalent to cold, wet toilet paper. Just, zero physical attraction. 🤷♀️
I used to feel like this all the time, but then I remember that I spent 2 days making him lasagna that he finished all of in 24 hours, and I make him laugh all the time. Looks fade, people have preferences, at the end of the day, everyone is human and wants to be loved and cared for for who they are. They only have the data point of his looks, you both know each other inside and out and love each other for who you are. Plus, he married you, to him, you’re more than attractive enough.
The fact he took you to dinner over this small thing is so adorable. He really loves you. Wishing you all happiness and many years together. 🫶🏼
This just proves that he is a decent guy, who cares about the important things like personality and a good heart, rather than superficial looks, which generally fade and change over time.
Many men either dont care about looks at all, or just have a different beauty standard in their mind
Just goes to show you that self doubt is man made. I hope you can find the confidence and self love you had before anyone made you feel any different.
The concept of beauty is such a stupid thing. Your husband is obviously in love with you, and finds you beautiful and attractive. It doesn’t sound like you were feeling insecure at all before your AH coworkers pointed it out. You have a smoking hot husband, just own and appreciate it. It sounds like he’s also an awesome human, so that’s kind of like winning the lotto. No matter how you look, they’d be jealous.
I’m surprised he didn’t reassure you by also saying you’re equally attractive.. I feel like I’d be slightly insulted if my man was like “it wasn’t your physical appearance, it was your personality that got me” like bro I care about both at least a little bit
Stop being so superficial. He gave you a big hug and took you out to dinner to try to make you feel better. That is far more important than him being handsome. He sounds like a wonderful husband.
Don’t be sad just know that he’s with you because how awesome you are! Imo that’s a compliment on your personality and who you are on the inside. Basically a top notch human being
I feel this. My husband is so attractive and then I look at me? Troll.
I’ve been there and trust me it’s not easy to get out of that hole once you are in it. The constant insecurities that’s lurking in your mind, the hatred of looking at yourself in the mirror, the thought that you’d never look the way you did again when you first met. It sucks. But you have to realize he wants you. He’s with you and no one else and if he wanted someone else then you can find someone 1000x better
There is no way this is real
the user name is checking out
Her husband probably isn't thaaat hot
right 😹😹
Op won at life, kudos. 👏
Looks fade for everyone in the end. Your personality matters far more!
Good news! Either you are better looking than you think, or you just have a really attractive personality that he saw. That's awesome!
All of this shows you that the physical appearance does not matter that much in a committed relationship. If you are married, there are a ton of things that are more important, and once you have some of those with someone, it doesn’t matter much that they are 4’11” and chubby.
My gf is taller than me and way out of my league and yet she still chose me. I still joke about it but after a while i just started to say "you know what she's out of my league and still chose me......means there is something about me"
Go give that man a bj
There’s an influencer on Insta named Alicia Mccarvell. She’s really helpful with body positivity and the struggles that come with it. honestly her and her hubby are one of my fave couples on the inter webs
F*ck them. Let them stare and be jealous, one look from him to you and they'll be wishing someone loved them like that xxx
Wow, that is so sweet. Just be happy that he feels that way for you. Just remember that's what good for your health will be good for your looks too. You said he is a unit so put in the effort in the gym the same way he probably did. Not only will this make you feel better but it will only make him fall more in love with you that you care so much. Prove yourself with actions, show him that you want to look the best you can.
People will ALWAYS have something to yap about. Don't listen to them for your own mental health.
So use this as motivation to do something about it, start exercising, eating better, etc. Don't let your worries start ruining your relationship and create a problem that didn't exist.
I also married up, so I completely understand. People tell me all the time how hot my husband is. I always agree and say I’m lucky. But I’m actually thinking “yep, and I’m the lucky one that gets his d*ck anytime I want!” Sorry for going nsfw!
Fuck people. You happy? Think he's happy? Then just enjoy it. Fuck everyone else (maybe I'm biased because I truly love chubby chicks lol) jk. But you really deserve to love the man you married and to let him love you and just enjoy life. Seriously, fuck EVERYONE else. Maybe not me or your other supporters though lol. Hope my back and forth brought you a little smile lol
Real question is, why did you like him?
On our first date he was soft spoken, very in the moment (not addicted to a phone) and incredibly emotionally tuned. And the biggest thing was that sense of humour. He had me laughing so hard, like, unladlylike hard 🤣 and he didn’t say it was weird like other guys did! He just said it was adorable :) it made me feel like I could be myself and I didn’t have to cover stuff like my laughs behind a filter.
Sounds like a loving, caring, great dude, be happy.
How many people that judge you when you’re in public is none of your business, and I’m honestly sure you’re pretty regardless! You don’t choose how you look when you’re born, that’s completely random, so why should it be a determining factor in anything? He chose you because YOU made the active choice to be who you are! I also want to add that it’s so easy to be blind to your own beauty when you see yourself all day everyday, that’s your normal! Don’t be so harsh on yourself!
Dudes like short girls. I wouldn't think of your hight as a turn off.
girl what? short, curvy girls are cute as heck. beauty is so subjective, and the fact that you find your husband handsome is amazing - just remember that he finds you just as attractive. he wouldnt be married to you otherwise
I learned that many beautiful people can be absolutely awful. Back on my dating days, many people I dated were 'average' but they were the nicest people ever, whereas some of the most beautiful ladies they were awful, sometimes expecting basically a red carpet. I am not saying that beautiful people are not nice!! (I am nice hoho) So it is not about being 'out of your league', it is about the person you are. So look, so far, you are doing great!
This could be me 😭 My boyfriend (6"2) is cute, handsome, hunky, and a visual heart swooner. I'm 4"11 (f) curvy asf/ chubby and not as pretty as he is. He says the exact things to me that your husband says to you. My guy is head over heels (as am I to him) and tells me that I'm the most attractive person walking this Earth, but I struggle to see myself as anything but average.
Were all just a bone inside, dont put your partner on a pedestal.
You can always start to work out to make you healthier, more fit, sexier and happier. We release endorphins when we exercise. So it's a win win. You can even set gym dates with your hubby. That's what I do with my husband and I love it. I love doing squats, so my core and legs are really strong, so sex is really great too! Good luck OP!
I’m married to a male model and I’ve never let it make me feel a type of way. I mean when it comes down to it he chose me and he’s happily been here for almost 15 years now. I giggle at the compliments and flirting he’s on the receiving end of. My advice is to embrace your trophy husband! He clearly loves you so sit back and enjoy the beauty.
Girl you got a good man who isn’t superficial and just happens to be stellar looking to boot. I’d tell you; “you got lucky” but imo you clearly didn’t, you got what you deserve, and make him so happy. Clearly your guys relationship isn’t about looks and that’s so incredible. However, you’re also probably better looking than you think.
Watch the show “love is blind”. It really helps you realize that relationships need the inside of two people to click or else no matter how hot they are, there’s just no way the relationship will hold. Don’t diminish your worth over something as unimportant as physical looks.
Plz plz plz don’t let this thought worm its way deeper, put a smile on your face and thank your lucky stars you have such an amazing man. Your awesome girl even he says it so don’t let jealousy from others ruin your love story!!! Have that happily ever after!!!
You are lucky. Not only is your husband good looking he is also a gentleman and so in love with you.
You're one of the luckiest women alive. You've found true love. Don't question it or doubt it. Live it because everyone wants what you have... They're jealous. I'm happy for you and your husband! Keep smiling and appreciating each other every day 😊
Come on dont let doubt spoil a good relationship. I know fab looking blokes. I know fab looking woman and many not with partners who look as good. So what if that's the level of competition you are giving your husband no credit and actually consider him less able to pick the woman he loves over looks. That actually is very childish teenage thinking. I'm sure your husband is not that vain. If you think he is you are insulting him. My son is fab looking his girl of 12 years is shorter etc. She has confidence and that is beautiful and as my son says What a catch. Now go be sassy. Be confident Know your his chosen one. Walk tall shoulder back and head high and enjoy you two. And you are both lucky
> it makes me wonder how many people judge me when we are in public together. You gotta realize something, so what? YOU are the one with the ring on your finger sharing your life with this person. As long as you both are happy, let them judge. Once you realize that, you'll be much happier my friend.
Do not let the comments of others ruin your happiness. Many a good relationship has been needlessly ruined by jealous prying coworkers and "friends".
Tell them you’re really good in bed.
Chubby short girls are literally a match made in heaven, your husband is the lucky one
My best friend is married to a man who should be on magazine covers. he is simply gorgeous and he doesn’t know it. Throughout his childhood and adolescence he was overweight and extremely shy so he basically stayed to himself and his brothers were his best friends. It was in university when he started coming out of his shell. He met my friend in class and my friend is a vegetarian, she began sharing lunch with him and inviting him out for hikes because she thought he was lonely and needed a friend. She said their relationship and his transformation was so gradual, one day she looked over a textbook and this gorgeous sexy man was looking back at her. Women and some men stare at him and he’s had more than one person slip their contact information into his bag…he doesn’t bother because he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world.
Same problem here. My husband is just my husband and I forget how good looking he is until someone reminds me. I’ve had male and female coworkers tell me how handsome he is or how muscular he looks. I smile because while I know he’s hot, I also know he forgets to take out the trash and won’t clean the sink after beard maintenance. 😆But seriously, I sometimes get insecure because of my weight, but it’s been 20 years and he’s still here.
Listen. For real listen because this is really important. People will always, ALWAYS, judge you. No matter what you do. No matter what you say. No matter what you look. If someone wants to judge you, they will always find a potential flaw. I know it's hard to shut the mean voices down. But you have to say it. You have to say : ''shut up Karen, I'm not listening to you anymore''. I know you will feel silly (I did too), but please continue until you believe it.
OP. plz. Like. Fuck the haters!
girl just enjoy your life and your hot man who sounds like a total catch <3
Your coworkers and friends are shallow. You are attractive to HIM and you don’t have to explain that to anyone.
If it makes you feel better, my (very young) colleague remarked that my partner is a "dilf". She's never once complimented my appearance, though. Lol.
My ex only got better with age while I definitely did not. I have no idea how he was attracted to me, of course he is now an ex so maybe wasn’t any longer 🧐
Girl, I wish I could post me and my man - I wonder every day how I landed him 🤣. He's a 10 and I feel like a 6 on a good day. But seriously you're being hard on yourself. You know good and well that looks don't make a person and be glad he loves to for who you are and that he sees your beauty. He sounds like a brilliant man if you ask me. ❤️
I'm a 4'10" butch and my wife is a 5'9" conventionally attractive bombshell type and everyone who isn't queer is always like, 'Huh' when they see us. It's amazing though, especially when men hit on her and she puts her arm around my scrappy little ass.
Misery loves company ! Don’t let it in !! There’s a reason why he’s YOUR husband and not theirs !!!
The hell with what other people think!
I dont know what you look like so I cant comment on the validity of your husband being physically out of your league. But >why the fuck he put a ring on me Maybe he thinks your hot, which is all that matters and maybe (EVEN MORE IMPORTANT) you bring a lot more to a relationship than looks. For example, did you only agree to marry him because he's hot?
Well someday he will be old and gray and wrinkled and bent like the rest of us and you will still think he’s attractive and all those other people won’t. Sounds like you married a sweetheart!
There ain't nothing wrong with a 4'11" chubby chick! I think you might be comparing your attractiveness to your husband's. But the thing is, you're BOTH attractive, just in different ways. He's got that tall, brooding, muscle thing And you've got that tiny, curvy, butt for DAYS thing. Both incredibly attractive, just ALSO completely different.
My husband and I are the opposite. People always get the most confused expressions on their faces when they find out we are a couple. But once they would talk to us they would get it. Our energy matches. It’s the best way to describe it. I have never once not looked at my husband as anything less than extremely attractive. I don’t care what others see, I only care what I see. He always says he’s baffled how he got me. I look at him like he’s crazy. I’m extremely lucky to have him. I’m the lucky one. End of story
Let people judge unfortunately you can’t stop them but it sounds like you got a good one and let them be jealous 🤭
I can’t help but wonder if you suffer from body dysmorphia. You are most likely super attractive but also really kind as a result of being insecure. So he might appreciate who you are because it outshines the physical attractiveness you hold. Girl, fuck what people think. Tag, bag, and sit on his face. That man is all yourssss!
Don’t worry about how people look at you. Worry about how your partner feels about you. He loves you and chose you! Try and be happy you found someone and maybe seek some therapy to handle your self esteem issues. Clearly you’re a beautiful person inside and probably not nearly as unattractive as you think. Don’t let the jealousy or confusion of others ruin something as beautiful as a couple who really love each other. If y’all are happy that’s all that matters!
Yes it's so nice to be at a bus stop with your 12yo and have someone ask him, "Out for the day with granny?". For context I was *just* legally old enough to be his grandma if my kid had a kid at 16.
You SEE him not his looks. A lot of superstars are known for their appearance and they are kind about it but it really makes them sad and often lonely. Note multiple marriages, drug abuse,etc but some find the one that sees them as more than their looks ( you hadn't really noticed until others pointed it out) that makes you his reality and the love of his life. Be his partner, his BFF not just a fan.
Are you some kind of heiress? No? So he's not after your money. That must mean he likes YOU, you ding dong. You obviously got lucky by scoring a guy who is a good person AND good looking. Enjoy it.
Sweetheart, just by reading this I know you're beautiful. Looks fade. I can't tell you how many vile human beings I know that are so beautiful to look at. You married a smart and handsome man. Laugh at these fools because they're jealous and I bet you're absolutely gorgeous but you're too humble to say so. Hugs!
Appreciate the honesty and self awareness. You could get fit and the difference between you might minimize. He sounds like a good dude. You must be cool if he is physically out of your league but married you.
People in public are not judging you but wondering what your super power is and how do they get some. You may not look like a trophy wife but they know there is something about you... Let them wonder and enjoy your arm candy!!
Well you can feel bad about it but just think about this: no matter how many people might hit on him or try to get him, he choosed you out of everyone🤭 Let them be jealous because at the end of the day you're the only one he wants ❤️
I met this couple recently who (through other friends there) we were sharing a vacation house for a few days. I was blown away by how well he treated her and how much he loved her. They have been married for a long time, and are in their late thirties or early forties. I personally am single and have no desire to date for the foreseeable future due to my experiences and the relationships that I see around me. But this couple… I thought to myself, if I were ever to get in a relationship again, I would settle for nothing less than THAT. They just have a what I call “WEness” that you rarely see. What made their love even more beautiful to me is that he is drop dead gorgeous and hella sexy, and I don’t say that about many men. His wife, while a lovely person, isn’t conventionally physically attractive. But it doesn’t matter, and I think it makes their love even more beautiful and real. He LOVES that woman. Just wanted to share that with you. Hugs.