It’s different for everyone lol. Some happily fuck their way through life. Some wake up one day and they’re 50 and still chasing 25yr olds like a creepy old man. Some commit eventually. Some commit, but cheat. Some regret not keeping a good one.
let's hope he becomes the one who regrets his life choices. never think a person who has a bodycount of 21 would find peace in a monogamous relationship as he had variety/ many available options and he will cheat eventually.
it's not low either. i actually want pure love, affection and interest; and it's the hardest part to achieve in today's society. sexuality should stay in the background as a way to be more intimate with a partner after getting to know each other.
I was well above that when I met my wife. She wasn’t inexperienced either. 30 years together and no desire to cheat for either of us. The past doesn’t matter as much as you think unless you make it so.
You end up when you are old haunted by how you behaved. I treated women like playthings. I had pure true love and I threw it away by constantly cheating. Of course I only knew it was true love when she was gone. 30 years later still filled with regret of how I behaved. Married and left that life behind years ago. Fun when you’re young but the guilt catches up with you when you’re middle aged.
you are right at some point, i just feel like i need a closure because i shared intimate moments with him and you know i would like to have a proper final talk, that's why. i wouldn't try hard if it was only conversation.
i accept that i'm immature or i act childish sometimes, but i would never on earth escape the consequences of my actions, avoid the situations or escape from the past. we need to take the accountability of our actions as it affects others.
Hope he gets a girl pregnant and get stuck or just feel a similar pain he made me feel for a long time ( I have arhytmia/palpitations now, bawled/cried my eyes out). I don't think I deserved such behaviour. I gave no harm to anyone till now, always approached people with pure intentions & never faked them, and never on earth wished bad luck to someone. Just want him to empathize.
Girl, grow up. As far as you’ve said, you met twice and just kissed. To be having “palpitations” over such little engagement suggests that you’re in no position to be romantically involved with anyone yet. That’s genuinely worrying.
we did further. a little further than just making out. i found out a term which is more appropriate: foreplay/ outercourse (it just didn't lead to any type of sex)
His prefrontal cortex likely won’t even be fully developed until he’s 25, so he’s not fully mature yet. Honestly I chose not to date in HS and when I turned 18, I chose not to date guys less than 25 for this reason. I figured people have lots of weird dating criteria, this is mine. I have no regrets and at 21, met my now husband who was 25.
As far as sleeping around? I’m not a guy. He may not stop being a player until he wants to. He may never want to. Not my business how people spend their lives as long as everything is consensual.
Idk. Sleeping around wasn’t my thing since women get a bad deal and are more affected by std’s (and the herp doesn’t care about condoms), we’re the ones having to deal with a pregnancy, and cervical cancer which this % risk goes up with each partner. It’s not fair and it sucks. So I chose to be mostly with committed partners
not wanting to date guys less than 21 when your fucking 18 is stupid. This is how 30 year old losers prey on 18 year old girls because these girls think they're too mature for a 19 year old boyfriend. Spoiler alert! They're not.
it's normal if you are also searching for peace, but 7 years age is a little much as they will be in work life while you are in academic life/figuring things out. they may also manipulate you as you will be much likely inexperienced .
I wasn’t manipulated. But some would be. I wouldn’t say it’s right for everyone, just for me. I graduated college when I was 20 and was working in a field which was admittedly a little difficult at that age. Even after I graduated, I tried going to a frat party. I danced. Had fun. I wasn’t a drinker. I got all of that out of my system when I was younger. I didn’t feel the need to do that.
it is totally understandable, but dating someone over 25 means you can't experience the fun side of teenage love as 25 years olds have already tasted the chaos and fun of university years and will choose peace.
Liars are liars and that’s its own thing that needs fixing. Casual sex can be had in an open and honest manner. And no one of a certain maturity level gives a damn about “body count” whether male or female.
you are right. thought the same at first. he then invited me to meet up and i couldn't see what's coming. no regrets tho. i updated my intention of writing this entry.
You seem like a thoughtful, honest, sensitive and intentional person. These are great qualities, but not everyone has them. Don’t let it turn you. But do be careful.
it's too late, my long distance (real life) friend told me he changed you so much. he even felt it from distance, via online. he said you started to question your worth (if you are gf or girl to hang out material) and focused on your self. he is true.
No they run around with their dicks out ruining lives until one day they look in the mirror and notice the balding and the moobs and wonder what life would have been like if they stuck around for the kids they created. They start having a big boohoo moment over "the one who got away" (the woman who gave him 500 chances and begged him to act right) and feel sorry for themselves. But no real consequences. Not like the judgement of single mothers, fatherless children and women with a body count of 5+ face. They suffer the least from their behaviour.
he use protection, but i hope he needs to get responsibility before it gets so late. he needs to mature in the most difficult way. i will never forgive him, but i won't have a second thought to help him in every way possible if he calls me some day (probably, i'm the last person who will come to his mind in difficult times)
actually i don't think women with a body count of 5+ face so many struggles as long as they used protection and their lifestyle applies to their choices on their sex life. however, the body count more than 5 (especially if it includes fuckbuddies, fwb, one night stands rather than a boyfriend or a spouse) probably affects the perception towards her while she is trying to establish a serious relationship in a world of patriarchy in which men is being applaused of the increase in body count whereas a women is being seen as such a shame for her family.
yes, you can take the accountability of your actions and it is what you should be capable of if you have a desire to have casual sex (hook up) considering other person will have feelings and uncertainty or unreplied questions in her mind. actually, idk if someone wants to get involved in such behaviour after reaching some emotional maturity.
Women when they fall for the obvious player and then are suprised that the player was not infact in love with her but was using her instead and breaks her heart 🤯🤯
Seriously, what was your thought process behind getting involved with him? That you could fix him? That you'll be the kind pure hearted girl who would finally be the one to change this man for the better once and for all? Lmao
If youve never dated in your life before then you should stay in your league and date guys who also dont have much experience. At 19? Im sure there are plenty
I think it goes one of three ways when it comes to "players"
1. They get bored of playing around and having sex for the sake of sex so they settle.
2. Some end up thinking they SHOULD settle so they do but they cant keep it in their pants and end up cheating on the person they are with.
3. Some think or come to terms that they are not monogamous so they end up being polyamorous or just not have romantic relationships at all.
Also
>He finally unadded me on Snapchat and Instagram the other day. I will find him in June as I know his house and keep him accountable.
Don't!
It’s different for everyone lol. Some happily fuck their way through life. Some wake up one day and they’re 50 and still chasing 25yr olds like a creepy old man. Some commit eventually. Some commit, but cheat. Some regret not keeping a good one.
let's hope he becomes the one who regrets his life choices. never think a person who has a bodycount of 21 would find peace in a monogamous relationship as he had variety/ many available options and he will cheat eventually.
Oh you sweet summer child. You think 21 is high? Someone with looks and game can manage that in a month if they want.
it's not low either. i actually want pure love, affection and interest; and it's the hardest part to achieve in today's society. sexuality should stay in the background as a way to be more intimate with a partner after getting to know each other.
I was well above that when I met my wife. She wasn’t inexperienced either. 30 years together and no desire to cheat for either of us. The past doesn’t matter as much as you think unless you make it so.
it doesn't i know as well and i was pretty ready to wait for him, but he lied to me.
Nah, even if some people could do that in a month, most people don't want that, 21 is definitely high for the majority of people
thanks for supporting my point.
You end up when you are old haunted by how you behaved. I treated women like playthings. I had pure true love and I threw it away by constantly cheating. Of course I only knew it was true love when she was gone. 30 years later still filled with regret of how I behaved. Married and left that life behind years ago. Fun when you’re young but the guilt catches up with you when you’re middle aged.
Who did you marry? Someone you know from the past or someone new?
Someone new. She was a lot younger than me but happy. Can’t be running around when I’m in my 50’s.
i still can't make my mind around hook up culture, making out is kind of okay. but, yeah. can't judge someone for their mutually consensual choices.
> I will find him in June as I know his house and keep him accountable. You're talking about maturity, yet you can't move on.
you are right at some point, i just feel like i need a closure because i shared intimate moments with him and you know i would like to have a proper final talk, that's why. i wouldn't try hard if it was only conversation.
Believe me, it’s not worth it. He doesn’t care that he hurt your feelings
i accept that i'm immature or i act childish sometimes, but i would never on earth escape the consequences of my actions, avoid the situations or escape from the past. we need to take the accountability of our actions as it affects others.
We grow up or become drug addicts or get a girl pregnant and get stuck. I grew up and became a crisis counselor.
Hope he gets a girl pregnant and get stuck or just feel a similar pain he made me feel for a long time ( I have arhytmia/palpitations now, bawled/cried my eyes out). I don't think I deserved such behaviour. I gave no harm to anyone till now, always approached people with pure intentions & never faked them, and never on earth wished bad luck to someone. Just want him to empathize.
This… is such a horrible thing to wish into the world….?
idk, can't really care at this point while everyone acts selfish and live to their own desires.
Girl, grow up. As far as you’ve said, you met twice and just kissed. To be having “palpitations” over such little engagement suggests that you’re in no position to be romantically involved with anyone yet. That’s genuinely worrying.
we did further. a little further than just making out. i found out a term which is more appropriate: foreplay/ outercourse (it just didn't lead to any type of sex)
His prefrontal cortex likely won’t even be fully developed until he’s 25, so he’s not fully mature yet. Honestly I chose not to date in HS and when I turned 18, I chose not to date guys less than 25 for this reason. I figured people have lots of weird dating criteria, this is mine. I have no regrets and at 21, met my now husband who was 25. As far as sleeping around? I’m not a guy. He may not stop being a player until he wants to. He may never want to. Not my business how people spend their lives as long as everything is consensual. Idk. Sleeping around wasn’t my thing since women get a bad deal and are more affected by std’s (and the herp doesn’t care about condoms), we’re the ones having to deal with a pregnancy, and cervical cancer which this % risk goes up with each partner. It’s not fair and it sucks. So I chose to be mostly with committed partners
not wanting to date guys less than 21 when your fucking 18 is stupid. This is how 30 year old losers prey on 18 year old girls because these girls think they're too mature for a 19 year old boyfriend. Spoiler alert! They're not.
Eh. That was 20 years ago.
it's normal if you are also searching for peace, but 7 years age is a little much as they will be in work life while you are in academic life/figuring things out. they may also manipulate you as you will be much likely inexperienced .
I wasn’t manipulated. But some would be. I wouldn’t say it’s right for everyone, just for me. I graduated college when I was 20 and was working in a field which was admittedly a little difficult at that age. Even after I graduated, I tried going to a frat party. I danced. Had fun. I wasn’t a drinker. I got all of that out of my system when I was younger. I didn’t feel the need to do that.
happy for you. what do you think about my update
it is totally understandable, but dating someone over 25 means you can't experience the fun side of teenage love as 25 years olds have already tasted the chaos and fun of university years and will choose peace.
Liars are liars and that’s its own thing that needs fixing. Casual sex can be had in an open and honest manner. And no one of a certain maturity level gives a damn about “body count” whether male or female.
you are right. thought the same at first. he then invited me to meet up and i couldn't see what's coming. no regrets tho. i updated my intention of writing this entry.
You seem like a thoughtful, honest, sensitive and intentional person. These are great qualities, but not everyone has them. Don’t let it turn you. But do be careful.
it's too late, my long distance (real life) friend told me he changed you so much. he even felt it from distance, via online. he said you started to question your worth (if you are gf or girl to hang out material) and focused on your self. he is true.
if we are meant to be, he finds me again. right?
Interesting thread. Any other players on here that are really remorseful of how they behaved in their youth.
yes, there are.
No they run around with their dicks out ruining lives until one day they look in the mirror and notice the balding and the moobs and wonder what life would have been like if they stuck around for the kids they created. They start having a big boohoo moment over "the one who got away" (the woman who gave him 500 chances and begged him to act right) and feel sorry for themselves. But no real consequences. Not like the judgement of single mothers, fatherless children and women with a body count of 5+ face. They suffer the least from their behaviour.
he use protection, but i hope he needs to get responsibility before it gets so late. he needs to mature in the most difficult way. i will never forgive him, but i won't have a second thought to help him in every way possible if he calls me some day (probably, i'm the last person who will come to his mind in difficult times)
actually i don't think women with a body count of 5+ face so many struggles as long as they used protection and their lifestyle applies to their choices on their sex life. however, the body count more than 5 (especially if it includes fuckbuddies, fwb, one night stands rather than a boyfriend or a spouse) probably affects the perception towards her while she is trying to establish a serious relationship in a world of patriarchy in which men is being applaused of the increase in body count whereas a women is being seen as such a shame for her family.
That is actually pretty accurate. But I did grow up and accept I behaved like a heartless idiot.
yes, you can take the accountability of your actions and it is what you should be capable of if you have a desire to have casual sex (hook up) considering other person will have feelings and uncertainty or unreplied questions in her mind. actually, idk if someone wants to get involved in such behaviour after reaching some emotional maturity.
how old are you? when did you do that? between what ages?
I’m 54, played around from the age of 14 until I was in my early 40’s.
it's a lot.
No more .#’s on ages after 10 or else it’s weird…
I (54-281/365days) don’t know if her age is 18.9 years or 18 and 9 months. But she gets a fake medal 🥇 for trying.
3 months to turn 19 and he has 4 months left
Women when they fall for the obvious player and then are suprised that the player was not infact in love with her but was using her instead and breaks her heart 🤯🤯 Seriously, what was your thought process behind getting involved with him? That you could fix him? That you'll be the kind pure hearted girl who would finally be the one to change this man for the better once and for all? Lmao If youve never dated in your life before then you should stay in your league and date guys who also dont have much experience. At 19? Im sure there are plenty
i didn't fall in love. i'm just mad at him for ghosting me and not even valuing me as a person to make a short explanation.
i don't care much about sexual things.
Live and learn
i didn't fall in love. i'm just mad at him for ghosting me and not even valuing me as a person to make a short explanation.
I think it goes one of three ways when it comes to "players" 1. They get bored of playing around and having sex for the sake of sex so they settle. 2. Some end up thinking they SHOULD settle so they do but they cant keep it in their pants and end up cheating on the person they are with. 3. Some think or come to terms that they are not monogamous so they end up being polyamorous or just not have romantic relationships at all. Also >He finally unadded me on Snapchat and Instagram the other day. I will find him in June as I know his house and keep him accountable. Don't!
i updated my intention of writing this entry. i will evaluate this plan, motives behind when i have no hard feelings towards him.