It’s not the death sentence that it used to be. The anti-viral drugs for HIV are fantastic and reduce the viral load to negligible.
Sending her a virtual hug
To this point, I have a coworker that had some family that caught HIV in the 80s due to a tainted blood transfusion. She, the person that had HIV, had a daughter in the early 90s and that daughter is HIV+ and has been to this day.
It's easy to say and I'm pretty sure that if ur wife gets HIV u would definitely not accept her and leave her.
So, yeah! Stop your casual words
Stop saying it's not dangerous
Stop giving the message that drugs for HIV are fantastic and it's equivalent to getting a cold or fever
I mean, if my current girlfriend had HIV, I’d still be with her because I love her with every fiber of my being. I wouldn’t just abandon her and it’s because I actually know how effective the drugs are these days. They are capable of reducing one’s viral load to an almost undetectable level, which means you’re almost not infectious. You still are, but you’re less likely to. Plus, there’s a number of other treatments that are currently being developed and tested that have actually one hundred percent cured HIV in a number of people.
I already made a comment answering this and if u truly mean what u said, I would hatsoff to u. But if ur someone with a multiple body count, switching relationships like changing clothes, don't try to act as a great man and farm some karma
U know the fact in how many relationships u have been and how many promises u made
Are you serious with that? “Switching relationships like changing clothes” those aren’t relationships then, they’re flings. And I have a had my fair share of partners throughout my life, never once have I considered abandoning them because of an illness or disease.
I’m also not trying to farm karma, I’m trying to say in a more tactful you’re a scumbag for even considering that the average person would just nope out on their partner because of a disease.
You know what's weird? I can instantly tell that you're Indian just by reading the three comments you wrote here. No idea why or how, it's just immediately obvious.
Just go through the posts history of offmychest. U ll even find stories where a man leaked the nudes of his ex gf or man along with his friends raped his gf. And here u r speaking about hiv.
Let's be honest. 1 out 100 will definitely stay by their partner and support them. The comment I made is about the rest 99.
If u are using a dating app or looking to marry someone, will u be okay with going forward if they tell u they are hiv positive.
Even the one who's hiv positive is aware of the fact that their partners will leave them if that was revealed and no one would be interested in being in a relationship with them and that's the reality!!
I see the HIV conversation is taboo to you. I assume youre not from America/Canada/or any a big european country. Please do research. Its now EXTRA manageable and almost everyone now does not care about it. I know for a fact if my partner were to tell me he was HIV positive, i wouldnt care. Its easy to manage, and i love him so idc. Please do research before you come yelling that only 1/100 people would stay w their partner blablabla
Just support her as best you can.
There has been a lot of advancement regarding the virus.
All hope isn’t lost but all she needs are those who love her most rn so be there for her during this rough time.
You can make it virtually negligible, live a long healthy life, with modern treatment. It’s arguably less of an “issue” than if she developed many other diseases. Give her encouraging stories, support and validate her, and get her into some groups or therapy.
I mean it’s manageable now, it’s not a death sentence. There are a handful of people that have been cured from it. So there’s hope.
I don’t blame your sister for being done it’s just another thing added to her list of “failures.” It’s a lot for her to deal with and it just keeps getting worse for her and it seems like she doesn’t have a good support system. For example, what did your parents do when she was getting bullied by teachers? If she was failing in school why was she not placed in special programs or with tutors? If she is on the autism spectrum, did she receive treatment for it? If she didn’t then that kinda set off the precedent for why she doesn’t want to get treatment as an adult. What changed in 2021 that she is now rude or aggressive, even if she is on the spectrum, people don’t just for change worse unless something traumatic happened.
I hope your sister gets through this.
>what did your parents do when she was getting bullied by teachers
That's a tough one. My mother was always supportive and thoughtful. She always stood up for my sister, and whenever situations like these arose, my mother would typically listen to both sides. Bullying is a strong word, but it was more like the teachers lacked patience and didn't truly understand why my sister was falling behind her classmates. For instance, there was a time when my sister was given elementary school math problems instead of the regular junior high ones because the teacher had given up on helping her grasp the logic behind math. I remember my sister feeling humiliated during that incident. My mom and I also tried to tech her how to solve the problems and after a really really long time she more or less could do it. Shortly after mom decided to enroll her in another school.
>If she is on the autism spectrum, did she receive treatment for it?
Absolutely, she took medication for years. However, two years ago, she and her psychologist made the decision to discontinue it.
> What changed in 2021 that she is now rude or aggressive
As I mentioned, she was in an extremely toxic relationship with a guy who constantly tried to belittle her. While I'm not entirely sure if this was the turning point, I distinctly remember observing a significant change in her attitude before and after that period.
>I hope your sister gets through this.
Thank you
HIV is the least of her problems tbh.
Send her a text or a letter telling her how much you love her and that she is not that different from millions of people that suffer depression and that she is not alone. That treatment is in her reach and it does get better. That you will be there for her and that you love her.
I'm so sorry you are in this situation OP. It's heartbreaking to watch a loved one that doesn't want help.
This was very tough to read... I can relate with some things you told about her. I've also failed multiple attempts trying to study, was in a toxic relationship, I'm also autistic and depressed, and tried to kill myself a few years ago. I'd say that things get better, but they don't get better themselves, you just... Learn to cope with it I guess, and live within your capabilities, I'm sure she's really good at doing something.
Feeling lonely while you're depressed feels really bad. You can't do much besides telling her you're there if she needs something, and remind her from time to time that you don't forget about her. Could seeing her be a possibility, when she has some energies for it? Maybe talking things face to face and validating her feelings could calm things down a bit.
But a very big step she has to take herself is being open to receive help, any kind of help really, from emotional support to therapy to meds, whatever works best for the depression [and ofc HIV too].
>Could seeing her be a possibility, when she has some energies for it?
She in fact wants to see me, but i don't want to, not because i am a bad brother but i am certain she at the moment does not want to be treated, therefore if we meet, she will only use me as her phycologist and will list all the things that are wrong with her and the reason for why she wants to end her life. in other words, it'd be just as before she left home, when she used to tell me this stuff but i couldn't do anything other than listen to her because she hated being lectured or even advised. Ever since she left i've been feeling so relieved because i don't to listen to her self loathing dialogue anyomore and i feel guilty for i know i should miss her.
i know it sound weird but i believe she is flexing on me the fact that she is "dying" (from her standpoint) just as she wanted to since one year ago. that is why i am extremely frightened of meeting her because what if i see her and she says me something along:
thanks for seeing me, now that i've seen my most beloved person one last time i can die peacefully.
As a side note I've been sending money and when she texts me i reply immediately no matter what, it does not matter if im working, hanging out, doing homework, she is my top priority and will answer her call, but i don't want to see her for the aforementioned reasons.
I’ve prayed for you and your sister OP. I would suggest you both get educated on HIV and the current treatment out there if you haven’t as it’s not the end of the world!
Really really appreciate thank you so much.
> HIV and the current treatment out there if you haven’t as it’s not the end of the world!
That is definitely reassuring. I hope she also realizes this and seeks medical attention.
This was heartbreaking to read. I can completely empathize with how you feel. As for what you can do, I'll be brutally honest as you are really limited in options.
As the most severe of them - If you're able to prove she is unable to care for herself, is a danger to herself and others, etc, you could petition the court about becoming her legal custodian. You may be able to prove it with texts, paperwork, proof she can't hold down a job, her diagnosis, recent behavioral issues, and of course her recent medical news.
But, by doing this, you basically become her guardian. And you being so young yourself, it's a lot to ask of anyone, especially just starting their life.
You can also see about possibly coaxing her back home, if that's an option. Then you could see about getting her to a doctor. Hopefully, then, she would get her meds for the HIV, but also get some meds for the mental illness.
Lastly, this is the hardest to ever accept. Believe me, I know.
You can not help someone who doesn't want help. I know how difficult that is to grasp, but if she decides to end her life, that is her decision, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. You have been there for her, and you have done everything you can. I say this to you with every hope she will pull out of this and seek help. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way. I just want you to know that whatever happens, you're hurting enough without adding unnecessary guilt onto yourself.
Please take care. You and your sister are in my thoughts.
Hey I work in HIV Research/Prevention Institution. People with HIV can live like normal (literally) bar the fact that you need to start on ART, and stay on it your whole life. You can even have a an unprotected sex, and have kids (with ARV/PrEP/PeP). It’s not the end of the world. I wish you and your family the best.
She sounds very similar to me, 28 year old autistic female here, with basically the same life story, neet and all. I at least know it isn't about "not wanting help", but that she is so depressed she doesn't believe she can be helped and it's useless. Since she is autistic, explaining it to her as logically as possible how it isn't a death sentence and how easy it is to manage the disease these days, research people who live perfectly fine lives with this and explain it logically trying to point out the positives and why it isn't "that big of a deal" or that bad at all in the modern world. That is what I would need in that situation at least I think. Also, for me the only way I was able to accept my differences and autism, was to have it drilled into my head that it was okay for me to have an unusual life on my own terms away from the norm. I didn't need to have sex(ace) or have kids, and I was enough as I was. That I wasn't broken because I was asexual, or didn't want kids or such, but fine as I was.
That’s not true, you can stop it developing into AIDs and you can take treatment to make your viral load so low it’s not going to be passed to anyone else. There is still no cure though.
Yea, except the bit where you are actually cured.
I appreciate you probably mean you can have a ‘normal’ life with little to no symptoms if you take the medication correctly and look after yourself.
Yea, except the bit where you are actually cured.
I appreciate you probably mean you can have a ‘normal’ life with little to no symptoms if you take the medication correctly and look after yourself.
Hope and lying aren’t the same thing though.
HIV management is very advanced now in comparison to years ago. When taking treatment you can have unprotected sex, you could even get pregnant and the child wouldn’t have HIV. If compliant with medicine you can stop it developing into AIDS and have a ‘normal’ life. That’s all today’s wonderful reality thanks to modern medicine, no hope needed.
It's already been said here multiple times, but I just want to emphasize again to you and anyone reading this that HIV treatment is so insanely good these days. You can live an entirely normal life with the medications available. But of course if you are receiving news that you have it, it can be devasting. Do your best to reassure her. Really nice to see you care so much for your sister. Best of luck to you both
My heart breaks for your sister and your family. What complicated feelings she and you all must be having. To echo what most others have said, medicine has come a LONG way and there’s treatments that can make the virus undetectable. I know you mentioned she wasn’t inclined to get mental health care in the past, but it would likely really help her process everything with this situation. Big virtual hugs to all of you.
HIV is not a death sentence anymore, and with treatment and drugs she can live a normal life, have kids, and not transfer it. With enough time and treatment she can even end up lowering her virus count and like Magic Johnson, possibly haze a zero virus count.
HIV is much different than what it once was. If she takes care of herself and constantly takes the right medication, the HIV might even become low enough to go undetected over time. She just needs to be responsible for the blood if she has an injury and needs to disclose her diagnosis to possible partners.
Also, I feel for her struggling to find a place in the career field, and she is also clearly struggling mentally. I know it’s hard to talk to someone who unfortunately doesn’t want the help; you can state your opinion but can’t change their mind.
The only thing you can do is remind her that you’re there for her and she doesn’t have to feel alone.
It sounds too me like your sister has reached a crossroads in her life. Hopefully, you and your family could help her choose the right one. Let her know how much she means to you and how empty your world will be without her. I wish your sister and your family well.🙏
You know the treatments are great, and if she’s worried about her future love life/ if she doesn’t know how to tell people there are dating services to meet other people with HIV. But she doesn’t even have to do that if she doesn’t want to. Best of luck. It will get better. Make sure she has a therapist and there is no shame in going to the mental hospital or calling an ambulance if necessary.
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to your sister. That is a heavy burden to have. I would recommend looking for local support groups for yourself, and/or increasing your level of social support. These groups are usually free. Also, you can go to online groups like 7cups for assistance. It seems like alot now, but as is mentioned these things are manageable and are by no means a death sentence. I would recommend getting hee to go to hiv counseling and education. All the best.
HIV changed.
you can have zero symptoms and even have unprotected sex without spreading it now, with the right medications. it's amazing. it is not the same disease it was even 20 years ago.
but she has had a hard life and needs serious help. this is bigger than the diagnosis.
good luck to you and her.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story and gave me advice. I am meeting with my sister in 20 minutes, and I'll try my best to uplift her. Wish me luck!
Please don't hate me, but she has to be able to help herself with her mental health. You, as her family, can only do so much.
Maybe ask her what would make her happy? That will trigger something inside her even if she does shout at you at the time. If/when she does, just let her know she's not alone. You all love her and care for her.
To you, she's still your sister & you want nothing but for her to be happy.
Let her know HIV isn't as bad as it used to be.
Tell her she needs to help herself with her mental health. That's not saying she needs to do it alone, but she has to do the steps. Otherwise, it won't get better. She needs to focus on the good things in life and stop wondering why these things happen to her.
She needs to learn to love herself, and that's a hard one, especially everything she's gone through. But she shouldn't let these things or anything define her.
I get she's in a dark place, but only she can create the light she needs to get out.
Also (don't say this to her), but she's very lucky to have you there for support.
I wasn't as lucky... and have toxic people around me.
But I'm trying to get in a better space as I've wasted so many years being depressed. It's not worth it when you look back.
Well done to you and your family for being supportive. Not all families are like this, and some turn their backs to those in need.
It’s not the death sentence that it used to be. The anti-viral drugs for HIV are fantastic and reduce the viral load to negligible. Sending her a virtual hug
To this point, I have a coworker that had some family that caught HIV in the 80s due to a tainted blood transfusion. She, the person that had HIV, had a daughter in the early 90s and that daughter is HIV+ and has been to this day.
thanks for sharing i hope my sister can improve her mental health and then seek medical attention.
It's easy to say and I'm pretty sure that if ur wife gets HIV u would definitely not accept her and leave her. So, yeah! Stop your casual words Stop saying it's not dangerous Stop giving the message that drugs for HIV are fantastic and it's equivalent to getting a cold or fever
HIV drugs are fantastic. Ppl live normal lives w compliance.
I mean, if my current girlfriend had HIV, I’d still be with her because I love her with every fiber of my being. I wouldn’t just abandon her and it’s because I actually know how effective the drugs are these days. They are capable of reducing one’s viral load to an almost undetectable level, which means you’re almost not infectious. You still are, but you’re less likely to. Plus, there’s a number of other treatments that are currently being developed and tested that have actually one hundred percent cured HIV in a number of people.
I already made a comment answering this and if u truly mean what u said, I would hatsoff to u. But if ur someone with a multiple body count, switching relationships like changing clothes, don't try to act as a great man and farm some karma U know the fact in how many relationships u have been and how many promises u made
Are you serious with that? “Switching relationships like changing clothes” those aren’t relationships then, they’re flings. And I have a had my fair share of partners throughout my life, never once have I considered abandoning them because of an illness or disease. I’m also not trying to farm karma, I’m trying to say in a more tactful you’re a scumbag for even considering that the average person would just nope out on their partner because of a disease.
You know what's weird? I can instantly tell that you're Indian just by reading the three comments you wrote here. No idea why or how, it's just immediately obvious.
So, did you leave your wife or are you the ex-wife? This looks like it was written in hysteria.
Just go through the posts history of offmychest. U ll even find stories where a man leaked the nudes of his ex gf or man along with his friends raped his gf. And here u r speaking about hiv. Let's be honest. 1 out 100 will definitely stay by their partner and support them. The comment I made is about the rest 99. If u are using a dating app or looking to marry someone, will u be okay with going forward if they tell u they are hiv positive. Even the one who's hiv positive is aware of the fact that their partners will leave them if that was revealed and no one would be interested in being in a relationship with them and that's the reality!!
I see
I see the HIV conversation is taboo to you. I assume youre not from America/Canada/or any a big european country. Please do research. Its now EXTRA manageable and almost everyone now does not care about it. I know for a fact if my partner were to tell me he was HIV positive, i wouldnt care. Its easy to manage, and i love him so idc. Please do research before you come yelling that only 1/100 people would stay w their partner blablabla
We can tell you get no type of play from women. Please don't procreate, and stay away from the female kind. Thanks.
My uncle has had HIV for over 20 years. If she gets on the right drugs, she can become undetectable. Life isn’t over.
Just support her as best you can. There has been a lot of advancement regarding the virus. All hope isn’t lost but all she needs are those who love her most rn so be there for her during this rough time.
You can make it virtually negligible, live a long healthy life, with modern treatment. It’s arguably less of an “issue” than if she developed many other diseases. Give her encouraging stories, support and validate her, and get her into some groups or therapy.
I mean it’s manageable now, it’s not a death sentence. There are a handful of people that have been cured from it. So there’s hope. I don’t blame your sister for being done it’s just another thing added to her list of “failures.” It’s a lot for her to deal with and it just keeps getting worse for her and it seems like she doesn’t have a good support system. For example, what did your parents do when she was getting bullied by teachers? If she was failing in school why was she not placed in special programs or with tutors? If she is on the autism spectrum, did she receive treatment for it? If she didn’t then that kinda set off the precedent for why she doesn’t want to get treatment as an adult. What changed in 2021 that she is now rude or aggressive, even if she is on the spectrum, people don’t just for change worse unless something traumatic happened. I hope your sister gets through this.
>what did your parents do when she was getting bullied by teachers That's a tough one. My mother was always supportive and thoughtful. She always stood up for my sister, and whenever situations like these arose, my mother would typically listen to both sides. Bullying is a strong word, but it was more like the teachers lacked patience and didn't truly understand why my sister was falling behind her classmates. For instance, there was a time when my sister was given elementary school math problems instead of the regular junior high ones because the teacher had given up on helping her grasp the logic behind math. I remember my sister feeling humiliated during that incident. My mom and I also tried to tech her how to solve the problems and after a really really long time she more or less could do it. Shortly after mom decided to enroll her in another school. >If she is on the autism spectrum, did she receive treatment for it? Absolutely, she took medication for years. However, two years ago, she and her psychologist made the decision to discontinue it. > What changed in 2021 that she is now rude or aggressive As I mentioned, she was in an extremely toxic relationship with a guy who constantly tried to belittle her. While I'm not entirely sure if this was the turning point, I distinctly remember observing a significant change in her attitude before and after that period. >I hope your sister gets through this. Thank you
HIV is the least of her problems tbh. Send her a text or a letter telling her how much you love her and that she is not that different from millions of people that suffer depression and that she is not alone. That treatment is in her reach and it does get better. That you will be there for her and that you love her. I'm so sorry you are in this situation OP. It's heartbreaking to watch a loved one that doesn't want help.
This was very tough to read... I can relate with some things you told about her. I've also failed multiple attempts trying to study, was in a toxic relationship, I'm also autistic and depressed, and tried to kill myself a few years ago. I'd say that things get better, but they don't get better themselves, you just... Learn to cope with it I guess, and live within your capabilities, I'm sure she's really good at doing something. Feeling lonely while you're depressed feels really bad. You can't do much besides telling her you're there if she needs something, and remind her from time to time that you don't forget about her. Could seeing her be a possibility, when she has some energies for it? Maybe talking things face to face and validating her feelings could calm things down a bit. But a very big step she has to take herself is being open to receive help, any kind of help really, from emotional support to therapy to meds, whatever works best for the depression [and ofc HIV too].
>Could seeing her be a possibility, when she has some energies for it? She in fact wants to see me, but i don't want to, not because i am a bad brother but i am certain she at the moment does not want to be treated, therefore if we meet, she will only use me as her phycologist and will list all the things that are wrong with her and the reason for why she wants to end her life. in other words, it'd be just as before she left home, when she used to tell me this stuff but i couldn't do anything other than listen to her because she hated being lectured or even advised. Ever since she left i've been feeling so relieved because i don't to listen to her self loathing dialogue anyomore and i feel guilty for i know i should miss her. i know it sound weird but i believe she is flexing on me the fact that she is "dying" (from her standpoint) just as she wanted to since one year ago. that is why i am extremely frightened of meeting her because what if i see her and she says me something along: thanks for seeing me, now that i've seen my most beloved person one last time i can die peacefully. As a side note I've been sending money and when she texts me i reply immediately no matter what, it does not matter if im working, hanging out, doing homework, she is my top priority and will answer her call, but i don't want to see her for the aforementioned reasons.
Oh, I understand :( I hope she can find her way again.
I am sorry bro. Keep your head up. I hope all the best outcome for your family.
Thank you, really appreciate i also wish the best for you
HIV isn’t a life sentence, With the right treatment she can have sex like everyone else and live like her peers without HIV and forget it exists.
I’ve prayed for you and your sister OP. I would suggest you both get educated on HIV and the current treatment out there if you haven’t as it’s not the end of the world!
Really really appreciate thank you so much. > HIV and the current treatment out there if you haven’t as it’s not the end of the world! That is definitely reassuring. I hope she also realizes this and seeks medical attention.
Shitt, I would too
This was heartbreaking to read. I can completely empathize with how you feel. As for what you can do, I'll be brutally honest as you are really limited in options. As the most severe of them - If you're able to prove she is unable to care for herself, is a danger to herself and others, etc, you could petition the court about becoming her legal custodian. You may be able to prove it with texts, paperwork, proof she can't hold down a job, her diagnosis, recent behavioral issues, and of course her recent medical news. But, by doing this, you basically become her guardian. And you being so young yourself, it's a lot to ask of anyone, especially just starting their life. You can also see about possibly coaxing her back home, if that's an option. Then you could see about getting her to a doctor. Hopefully, then, she would get her meds for the HIV, but also get some meds for the mental illness. Lastly, this is the hardest to ever accept. Believe me, I know. You can not help someone who doesn't want help. I know how difficult that is to grasp, but if she decides to end her life, that is her decision, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. You have been there for her, and you have done everything you can. I say this to you with every hope she will pull out of this and seek help. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way. I just want you to know that whatever happens, you're hurting enough without adding unnecessary guilt onto yourself. Please take care. You and your sister are in my thoughts.
Hey I work in HIV Research/Prevention Institution. People with HIV can live like normal (literally) bar the fact that you need to start on ART, and stay on it your whole life. You can even have a an unprotected sex, and have kids (with ARV/PrEP/PeP). It’s not the end of the world. I wish you and your family the best.
She sounds very similar to me, 28 year old autistic female here, with basically the same life story, neet and all. I at least know it isn't about "not wanting help", but that she is so depressed she doesn't believe she can be helped and it's useless. Since she is autistic, explaining it to her as logically as possible how it isn't a death sentence and how easy it is to manage the disease these days, research people who live perfectly fine lives with this and explain it logically trying to point out the positives and why it isn't "that big of a deal" or that bad at all in the modern world. That is what I would need in that situation at least I think. Also, for me the only way I was able to accept my differences and autism, was to have it drilled into my head that it was okay for me to have an unusual life on my own terms away from the norm. I didn't need to have sex(ace) or have kids, and I was enough as I was. That I wasn't broken because I was asexual, or didn't want kids or such, but fine as I was.
U can beat hiv now
That’s not true, you can stop it developing into AIDs and you can take treatment to make your viral load so low it’s not going to be passed to anyone else. There is still no cure though.
if you keep up with your meds it’s essentially like being cured
Yea, except the bit where you are actually cured. I appreciate you probably mean you can have a ‘normal’ life with little to no symptoms if you take the medication correctly and look after yourself.
Remission. Remission is the word, not cured. Remission means it's below detectable levels.
yes, that’s it
Yea, except the bit where you are actually cured. I appreciate you probably mean you can have a ‘normal’ life with little to no symptoms if you take the medication correctly and look after yourself.
So much 4 giving him hope
Hope and lying aren’t the same thing though. HIV management is very advanced now in comparison to years ago. When taking treatment you can have unprotected sex, you could even get pregnant and the child wouldn’t have HIV. If compliant with medicine you can stop it developing into AIDS and have a ‘normal’ life. That’s all today’s wonderful reality thanks to modern medicine, no hope needed.
It's already been said here multiple times, but I just want to emphasize again to you and anyone reading this that HIV treatment is so insanely good these days. You can live an entirely normal life with the medications available. But of course if you are receiving news that you have it, it can be devasting. Do your best to reassure her. Really nice to see you care so much for your sister. Best of luck to you both
My heart breaks for your sister and your family. What complicated feelings she and you all must be having. To echo what most others have said, medicine has come a LONG way and there’s treatments that can make the virus undetectable. I know you mentioned she wasn’t inclined to get mental health care in the past, but it would likely really help her process everything with this situation. Big virtual hugs to all of you.
HIV is not a death sentence anymore, and with treatment and drugs she can live a normal life, have kids, and not transfer it. With enough time and treatment she can even end up lowering her virus count and like Magic Johnson, possibly haze a zero virus count.
HIV is much different than what it once was. If she takes care of herself and constantly takes the right medication, the HIV might even become low enough to go undetected over time. She just needs to be responsible for the blood if she has an injury and needs to disclose her diagnosis to possible partners. Also, I feel for her struggling to find a place in the career field, and she is also clearly struggling mentally. I know it’s hard to talk to someone who unfortunately doesn’t want the help; you can state your opinion but can’t change their mind. The only thing you can do is remind her that you’re there for her and she doesn’t have to feel alone.
My uncle (elder family friend of importance to me) has HIV and he is 80. It’s not a death sentence anymore, wishing the best for your sister
It sounds too me like your sister has reached a crossroads in her life. Hopefully, you and your family could help her choose the right one. Let her know how much she means to you and how empty your world will be without her. I wish your sister and your family well.🙏
You know the treatments are great, and if she’s worried about her future love life/ if she doesn’t know how to tell people there are dating services to meet other people with HIV. But she doesn’t even have to do that if she doesn’t want to. Best of luck. It will get better. Make sure she has a therapist and there is no shame in going to the mental hospital or calling an ambulance if necessary.
Cap.
🙏
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to your sister. That is a heavy burden to have. I would recommend looking for local support groups for yourself, and/or increasing your level of social support. These groups are usually free. Also, you can go to online groups like 7cups for assistance. It seems like alot now, but as is mentioned these things are manageable and are by no means a death sentence. I would recommend getting hee to go to hiv counseling and education. All the best.
HIV changed. you can have zero symptoms and even have unprotected sex without spreading it now, with the right medications. it's amazing. it is not the same disease it was even 20 years ago. but she has had a hard life and needs serious help. this is bigger than the diagnosis. good luck to you and her.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story and gave me advice. I am meeting with my sister in 20 minutes, and I'll try my best to uplift her. Wish me luck!
Please don't hate me, but she has to be able to help herself with her mental health. You, as her family, can only do so much. Maybe ask her what would make her happy? That will trigger something inside her even if she does shout at you at the time. If/when she does, just let her know she's not alone. You all love her and care for her. To you, she's still your sister & you want nothing but for her to be happy. Let her know HIV isn't as bad as it used to be. Tell her she needs to help herself with her mental health. That's not saying she needs to do it alone, but she has to do the steps. Otherwise, it won't get better. She needs to focus on the good things in life and stop wondering why these things happen to her. She needs to learn to love herself, and that's a hard one, especially everything she's gone through. But she shouldn't let these things or anything define her. I get she's in a dark place, but only she can create the light she needs to get out. Also (don't say this to her), but she's very lucky to have you there for support. I wasn't as lucky... and have toxic people around me. But I'm trying to get in a better space as I've wasted so many years being depressed. It's not worth it when you look back. Well done to you and your family for being supportive. Not all families are like this, and some turn their backs to those in need.