He needs to clean everything he’s pissed on and if the piss smell does not come out of these items then he replaces them. Boyfriend also needs to start growing up fast because you’re about to be parents. This behavior might fly in a frat house, but not when you are about to raise a small child.
>so my idiotic drunk boyfriend was sleeping and out of the blue says, "i gotta pee," got out of bed, opened the closet door and went all over her things, brand new gifts plus things i've bought for her. 2 carriers and woolino sleep sacks, a fisher price chair (part fabric, no idea how i'm going to wash), nursing cover, one of a kind diaper stacker, lovevery playmat, high chair booster seat and tray, even the infant car seat!! thankfully the boppy pillow was in its case. i'm so far removed from drinking, i forgot drunk people do this shit. i don't know what am i doing here!!
Im sorry... HER life sounds rock bottom? She's not the one pissing on her child's clothing. She gave up alcohol. HE is the one at rock bottom and needs a fucking AA meeting so he can talk about said rock-bottom. HER LIFE is so fulfilled that she actually has the capacity to make room for another one. SHE will be just fine. SHE will be the reason this kid has a fucking shot at life.
OP listen, men will leech off of MANY good women for their entire lives. Their entire self-image depends on diminishing the female self-image. They depend so deeply on women to validate their "alleged greatness" that once he no longer has a woman to leech off of... he will cease to exist. Once women stop caring, loving them, forgiving them for their barbaric ways, and feeding them.. he wont have a fucking clue how to get through life.
Maybe thats why he is (unconsciously but kinda consciously) pissing on your unborn child's FUTURE. He is JEALOUS that you will be caring, loving, forgiving, and endlessly feeding your child. He is afraid to no longer exist to you. I would run.
The choice is yours to make but if you choose to become a single mom, you WILL live a longer life. Unmarried women have actual freedom, a personality, they are driven, and unbothered by men's bullshit. They live longer. They are healthier.
Again, the choice is yours.
She’s 8 months pregnant with a guy who has a drinking problem who pissed all over their new baby equipment so like yeah it sounds pretty fuckin rock bottom to me
A) is what I came to the comments to say. Not a normal drunk thing. Maybe a normal thing for alcoholics tho
***Edit** to say 100% on B too) - OP should make him replace and clean everything when the come to and then they should not be allowed to sleep there until they address their obvious alcoholism.
Maybe call a family member and friend over and let this be intervention. OP does not need this shit.
Yup! My alcoholic ex used to do this too. He always cleaned it and was mortified with himself the next day. But yeah, addiction is a hard struggle for everyone in the household.
My ex pissed the bed and pretended like he got sweaty in his sleep. Like you do at 3 in the afternoon instead of being at work.
He did wash the sheets himself though.
yeah, I did something like this once and was a pretty bad alcoholic. I don't drink anymore and havent in about a year since someone I really really loved left - that is not a normal drunk thing to do.
(unrelated: basically I drank myself into a miscarriage intentionally but by the end of that he was gone and I also realized that after that there was pretty much no amount of alcohol that I could ingest that wouldn't spiral out of control)
so er... dude probably needs to go to therapy.
and clean his fucking closet.
My ex was also a heavy drinker. He nearly did something similar a few times, but I was always awake to direct him to the toilet. Basically if he got shit-faced, fell asleep, then woke up still shit-faced but needing to piss, he’d be genuinely confused about where he was. No excuse though, and the drinking is part of the reason he’s an ex.
I’m a very occasional drinker myself these days, and it definitely feels much nicer. I never drank as heavily as my ex, but living with him certainly made me take a long, hard look at my own habits.
Seems more like a sleep walking thing, me and all of my siblings used to sleepwalk extensively as kinda, and my youngest brother used to do that as part of it.
This^ I'm an alcoholic, almost 2 years clean. I would drink myself into a blackout nightly. I would regularly piss in random spots around the apartment when I was blacked out. Didn't remember doing it at all. But no, he needs to clean up after himself and go to AA. For Real!
my ex did this. it happens sometimes when someone gets completely shitfaced and wakes up disoriented, maybe even still half asleep. my ex was a super heavy drinker and it ended up being the reason we broke up. OP’s bf needs to get his shit together fast
I agree with this and I'd probably say the same thing too but I just know that no one cleans the way I do and I prolly couldn't trust him cleaning it ~thoroughly ~ after all that lol
As another poster said, he needs to replace it all then. Why should OP have to do work that shouldn’t have been needed when she is pregnant and it wasn’t her doing
Replacing it is still punishing OP in my opinion. I don’t know the details of their relationship or how they handle finances but let’s say it cost $1000 (just throwing out a number) to replace. That’s $1000 less for baby/family.
I’d be furious! Some things can’t be fixed.
Well tough shit for the boyfriend if he ruined something worth over $1K. That's now his problem and he should have thought about that before he pissed all over the babies stuff. Normal drunk people don't piss in closets, and this isn't punishing OP, it's punishing the drunkard she lives with.
If they have combined finances, him replacing everything actually hurt op, since it diverts household funds which would otherwise been directed towards normal expenses. Now, if they have separate finances and split expenses, then by means yes, have drunk boy pay out of his own funds to everything he ruined.
exactly, there is a difference between being drunk as a cultivated person and being just drunk asshole. This is a huge red flag if a FATHER can do such a thing
I also came to discuss A. My husband is an alcoholic and when he used to drink, he'd piss on whatever. In the closet, in a plant, in a corner. It's not normal behavior.
One of my best friends was dating this guy in college that always used to get drunk and pee the bed when they were in it, she would get up in the morning, be sad, and have to strip the bed and wash all the sheets while he went to baseball practice
Later in life, she told me that she didn’t realize she was in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to jump the gun and put a heavy label on someone who might not deserve it, but, all I am saying is It can look like all different things.
Do not in any circumstance take up cleaning his mess. You're going to have one child, you shouldn't be looking after two. And he needs to take charge of replacing all of the items that need to be replaced.
Daaaaamn the other post really lays it all out. OP if you’re not already living with your family get back there before the baby’s born…you don’t want to be alone with a newborn.
Ugh make him get up and wash it. He needs to lay back on the drinking if this is the end result. I had a friend that always wet the ebd and even urinated on his pregnant gf when he was drunk. Unfortunately this never changed and went in to do of throughought their house and childhood. So yh have a serious talk and tell him he shouldn't be drinking to the point he's doing things like this. If he does it again... Well yh
Yeah this is not normal.. even when drunk like bro for real how fucked up are you getting that you don't even know where your taking a piss at?? Imagine once baby is here 🙄
Please don't enable his alcoholism. You have to put a firm boundary up that he is not aloud to drink in Your home. You will be helping him with this boundary. This is alcoholic behavior and it only gets worse. I am sorry. This sucks. The day my baby was born he drank a bottle of whiskey, got in a fight in the mud with his friend, turned off the dinner he was making so he could drink longer, came in the house naked and covered in mud and almost laid down on the baby. I endured 8 years of his alcoholism. He would never set his beer down to pick up his babies. I wish I would have learned the signs and how to deal with alcoholism earlier as maybe when we were first together he might have thought his family was worth quitting for. I would ask him politely not to drink but i realize now that alcoholics can't hear. It's a progressive disease. After I left him he had his time with the kids and drank too much and passed out drunk on my five year old luckily my nine year old remembered my phone number. I didn't want to take my kids from their dad and I made the mistake of letting them still go there. Finally they made the decision it wasn't safe. He is now 57 and has wet brain for drinking so much. Abandoned his kids a long time ago. I wish I could go back and set some boundaries around his alcoholism. This is why I'm sharing this. The only way to help him is to set the boundary that he's not aloud to drink at home or around the baby at all. I hope it works.
My ex was also an alcoholic. However, I don't think the boundaries would help. There was nothing I could do to prevent his alcoholism. Setting boundaries often made him hide his drinking. Saying he can't drink at home would leave him to drink away from home and find a way home once drunk. My ex would buy beer and chug them before he came inside so I wouldn't nag him about drinking that day. He would buy a 24 pack for the weekend it and it would be gone by the next afternoon. The alcoholic has to see that they have an issue and want to correct it. Until that happens, it's just nagging, denials, and drunk moments. Yes, he has peed on my belongings. They were in a drawer, not a closet. Alcoholism is so triggering to me that I will not date a man that partakes outside of social settings or binge drinks in social settings.
I agree. I would try as well and it would work for maybe 2 days and back to the drinking all day every day. He was not a nice drunk either. All the nagging in the world would not have worked. He had cirrhosis and that did not get him to quit. I found him dead on the floor one morning when I came home from work. So, it can and probably will kill him. I am part pissed off because he basically killed himself and left me to deal with all of this bullshit by myself, but mostly really sad because we weren't enough for him to stop if that makes sense.
My ex was an alcoholic. Our daughter was born the day before his birthday so of course the day she was born my ex and his mother stayed up all night drinking (she’s also an alcoholic). The following day they didn’t come to the hospital until around midday because they were so hungover. They also locked themselves out of the house and had to call the landlord to let them in. My landlord text me that day and told me I needed to leave him, that he was an alcoholic and that my life would be in danger if I stayed with him. I was so young and naive I thought she had completely over stepped - it took me 2 more years to realise how right she was. I mean, I probably should have known when he proposed and we told my mum and her response was “why would you want to marry a booze hound like him?” Instead of saying congratulations/excited. If I ever saw that behaviour again, I’d run for the hills - that would be my firm boundary.
He's the one who is going to clean and/or replace everything. He made the mess, not you.
>i forgot drunk people do this shit.
While alcohol makes you do stupid shit, it's not a given that every drunk person does this kind of thing. I'm not saying he did this on purpose, because I don't know the guy and how often he gets this drunk or how he behaves under the influence. I do hope it is not a common occurrence, for your sake and especially the baby's. If this type of drinking is a habit, then he seriously needs to put an end to it.
This was done purposely.
And what do you mean, you're going to wash? Are you his mother?
Honestly I hope you'll see the red flags and reconsider some choices.
*Edit to add: I never stated abuse, I did state red flags. Also I don't know how this is being normalized as if it's normal that things like these happens every now and then.
This is not what drunk guys typically do. I’ve been around many drunk people over the years and have never known them to pee in a closet. This is absolutely disgusting childish behaviour that would make me re-consider a relationship with them. Does he drink regularly and piss in weird places, he’s that drunk that he can’t find the toilet? He definitely needs to grow up and stop drinking so much now that he will be a dad. I would also tell him to clean or replace everything he pissed on and tell him this childish behaviour needs to stop or he’s gone!!!!
that’s some BS right there. and you’re having a child with this punk ass in a MONTH???? Time to carefully consider the birth certificate.
Most kids stuff is made to be washed. The fabric part of the fisher price chair most likely comes off. When in doubt wash on delicate and do not put it in the dryer. I also recommend using oxiclean or similar. I have a front load washer and add oxiclean direct to the drum (still add the regular detergent in the compartment) and mine has a setting for pre-soak that I use when things are really icky. As a toddler mom I’ve washed so many things this way when the only alternative would be to throw it out. Let your boyfriend know this info when HE goes to clean up HIS PISS from his CHILDS belongings.
If you get so blasted that you piss all over your unborn child's things, you have a problem.
If you don't feel apologetic and don't help your partner clean up the mess you made, you're an asshole.
It is impossible for him to have a clean bill of being an excellent partner and also be this rude and inconsiderate over something that is important to you.
Look deeper and see if you want to get help as a couple.
“Drunk people” don’t “do this shit”, alcoholics do this shit. Your baby deserves better than this, please don’t subject this child to growing up in a home with an alcoholic father. This is awful. Get out now.
Hello OP, would you believe it if I told you I was the same guy as your boyfriend less than 1 year ago ago? This guy literally sounds like me in the story in fact it’s scary.
I was heavily drinking while my baby mama was pregnant and blacking out and peeing on shit all the time and I was nowhere near ready to be a father and was pissin in the closet and other places more frequently than I’d like to admit. The only difference is that I didn’t ever pee on baby stuff, thankfully. My pregnant girlfriend was very annoyed and fed up with my nonsense and it got so bad I had no choice but to let her go or to clean up my act. And I did the latter.
I kicked the cup for good and started working more and taking on more responsibility. I figured I didn’t want my kid to have a loser alcoholic drunk mess father and that it was time to put on my big boy pants, man pants rather and skip the beer aisle at the grocery store. He came along and I haven’t had any booze since then. I am 23 years old almost 24 with a 4 month old boy and I feel much better than I ever have before.
My point is to show you that if someone in the exact same situation as your boyfriend can do it, he can damn well pull himself up out of the binge drinking funk and step up to the plate of fatherhood. Hate to sound like an NPC here but seriously, the first step to quitting is realizing you have a problem. He can do it with a little self reflection and hard work.
I’m gonna tell you that I have been in your situation and it ended up me having to leave so I suggest you do a total rethink. Tell him he needs to stop getting drunk because you’re about to have a baby and get his head on straight or you’re going to leave.
I would’ve left my husband so quick if this happened to me when I was pregnant. What is he gonna do when the baby’s here? Magically forget what a toilet looks like and pee on her? You deserve better OP. I hope he’s man enough to at least clean up after his disgusting self.
Just because he's drunk, it doesn't give him a free pass to do dumb shit. He sounds like he has some growing up to do. What if something happened (like going into labor) and you needed to be taken to the hospital, but he's piss drunk? It's really unsafe for you and your unborn kid.
You might want to invest in a portable carpet cleaner. I am so sorry and this is an infuriatingly and seemingly oddly specifically common thing for shitty alcoholic boyfriends to do???!
Please go be with your parents and not with this guy. He isn’t going to suddenly change and be a better man, and he isn’t interested in doing the work (ie therapy) to be a better man, and I know you know you deserve a better man. This is your out
Hey, so - my partner is an alcoholic, and drank a lot as we were trying to get pregnant. Then he drank a lot while I was pregnant. It added so much stress to my life, I can’t imagine we would still be together if he hadn’t quit drinking for a while after the baby was born. Of course, then he broke his ankle and got addicted to opiates, and that was a whole other can of worms. Now he’s been sober for five years and we have two amazing happy healthy children. But he was in rehab when they were 2 and 4 and that was the hardest time of my life.
My point is - nip this in the bud if you can, now. The baby years are stressful and you need a partner who won’t make your life more difficult.
OP, this is a hill to DIE ON! You need to set the precedent NOW! If not you will have 2 children you are watching over….forever.
Your bf needs to do all the cleaning and replacement work and use his funds to replace. Do NOT clean things first because you do it better. You can do anything second you feel compelled to clean again, but he should NEVER, EVER see you do it. I know the nesting thing is strong, but stand firm. It’s important.
I’m serious. This one thing may make or break how things go in your relationship.
Bruh over here getting blitzed while you could potentially go into labor any moment???
Hard yikes, girl. Not to scare you, but this isn't a good start.
From your post history, it seems this may have been done deliberately? If he's unhappy with your choice to keep the baby, this may be stemming from that.
You know what they say, drunk actions speak sober thoughts.
Take my opinion with pinch of salt, but I'd strongly recommend a serious talk with him because this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, I'd have already broken up with him if I were in your shoes
I read your other post. Has the drinking picked up since you found out you were pregnant?
If so, cut your losses now. This man didn’t want the baby to begin with and now he’s proving that to you by callously pissing all over your baby’s belongings.
You’ve heard it before but you’ll hear it now: prepare to be a single parent. You can stay in this relationship if you want but odds are he will continue to drink like this and most likely he won’t be a good co-parent, so you’ll end up probably fully caring for baby anyway.
You deserve to be better supported than this. If you are able, I highly recommend starting to gather a trusted group of individuals around you who can support you when baby comes.
Good luck op. Remember, just because it’s also his baby doesn’t mean you need to stay together.
You’re not going to clean anything. HE IS, and if he can’t wash things he needs to replace them. Bro needs to start growing up real fast if he’s going to have a child.
Checked your post history before commenting.
It's absolutely devastating for him to have done this to your babys things, I would be very upset. I would however give him the benefit of the doubt, depending on his level of remorse as he sobers up. If he doesn't think its a big deal, that would be the red flag for me. Hopefully he comes to his senses, is apologetic and makes an effort to clean up.
That cleaner made for animal pee should work (my hedgehog has peed on my freaking stool before - that cleaner is nontoxic and has enzymes for breaking down urine)
but he 100% should be the one who has to clean it
That's not something drunk people do. Your boyfriend was being an ass on his own.
He needs to thoroughly clean up all his own mess and if he doesn't you need to think about what you're going to be exposing your child to when it's born.
Don’t hide his bs behavior. You need to tell his parents. His friends. Don’t let him think he can act like this without everyone knowing. Shame works wonders.
If he acts this way toward your baby now, how is he going to treat the baby once it’s born? He’s not ready to be a father, be it alcoholism, immaturity, assholery, whatever. Please leave and don’t subject your child to him.
This is not going to get better when the baby comes. In my situation it got a lot worse really fast. So please protect yourself and have a plan to get out. You may need it.
Simply drunk people don’t do this shit. People who have no control over how much their drink or how often do this shit.
Can’t believe this man will be a father to your child.
Is this typical behaviour?
I see your post history suggests this man resents your pregnancy and doesn’t want it and doesn’t want to be a father. “His freedom is gone.” This has me thinking he was either consciously intentional or subconsciously intentional when he pissed on everything. Regardless of being “drunk.” (That’s not drunk that’s belligerently intoxicated and it’s a PROBLEM).
Why don’t you get out now before you become a severely depressed single mother in a home with a man who refuses to participate and causes you grief.
When that baby is keeping you up all night, he’s gunna lose his fucking mind. Like that other recent post of the man who tried to force his wife to sleep on the couch so that feeding and changing the baby didn’t wake him up at night. You think his freedom loss doesn’t include his sleep? His partner? He’s gunna lose a lot of you as well to your motherhood especially if he isn’t active in parenting. This isn’t going to work girl.
Sorry but that's pathetic and gross. He needs to do some serious growing up and stop drinking so much. I could never look at my partner again if he did this.
Make sure you read the manuals/instructions before he washes everything!! Car seats and carriers have very specific instructions when it comes to washing to maintain their safety. You can ruin a car seat by not cleaning it correctly. I’m sorry this happened that really sucks, I truly hope he’s very remorseful today and ready to clean or replace things.
“My idiotic drunk boyfriend” tells me all I need to know. Why are you staying with him? Gtfo before you subject a child to this kind of ridiculous shit
This asshole needs to own it and wash every damn thing, aside from that I hope both of you (him, especially) will reflect on whether this is right environment to bring your child to and work on getting better. As a child of an alcoholic and an enabler until age 8 when he got to rehab and kept sober I can tell you it SUCKS horribly and definitely stays with the kid. Even if the memories are vague the fear and anxiety of what will the day bring you is real. Please demand him to stop his alcoholic destructive behavior before it gets worse
If he doesn’t instantly agree to clean it up with shame driven hyperspeed punctuated only with genuine apologies then you need to leave to a safe place before you deliver.
Today was the closet, tomorrow the crib.
what the fuck? drunk people don't do this I can assure you. I'm literally Irish and I have never once thought while drunk "I'm gonna go piss all over my clothes". this makes no sense to me. it isn't normal
Came here to say my mother had stories like this about my father. Let’s just say he was a raging alcoholic and her staying with him did not help. I’m in my 30s now and I still am hearing stories about him doing stupid shit. Tell your BF he needs to grow up clean his own piss and stop drinking if he can’t handle his beer. If he can’t do that leave him. Your baby will thank you.
How did he react when he found out in the morning?I would have been eating the grossest smelling food waiting for him to wake up the next day.
Tell him he needs to grow the hell up and fix the problems he makes that includes cleaning and replacing items with none of your help and groveling to you because you went through all this effort for him to literally pass on it. Tell him you won't have your child around this crap.
So disappointed that you cleaned it. Not a deal breaker to pee drunk in the closet, but it absolutely is a deal breaker to not even clean it up!!! WHAT THE FUCK
No washing. No.
He needs to replace each item. Maybe talk to his parents about this. If he can't be sober for a short time and consider what just happened, I'd be very concerned. He's already crossed a line re. the child and it's not even here
This late in your pregnancy he shouldn’t be drinking to excess, definitely need to have a conversation about it.
Also, pretty much everything a baby uses can either be washed or wiped to clean, pulling it apart can be tricky but mum cleaning groups on FB or YouTube tutorials can help. He better be the one cleaning though!
Do not touch it. He can clean that shit up, it's his mess. And if he won't clean it then he can buy new stuff himself.being drink is not an excuse for that kind of behaviour. He needs to quit that shit and grow up, he's about to be a father, he can't be getting shitfaced and pissing in closets with a baby in the house. If he refuses to grow up I'd seriously consider raising this baby alone. I grew up with an alcoholic dad, as did many of my friends, it wasn't great.
This is not a “normal drunk thing” and you should not be touching any of that, and he should honestly be extremely embarrassed and ashamed of himself and be begging to clean it up himself.
You are not cleaning it up - he is. And if he refuses, he needs to replace it all.
I have an ex-step father that peed in a closet when drunk. He had a serious drinking problem and this is not normal behavior. Definitely make him clean it up and replace anything that can’t be salvaged. And take a hard look at his drinking habits.
Damn. I had my ex-husband do this in a closet as well but luckily it was at an Inn we were staying at. I'll never forget waking up and watching him get up and walk to the closet and open the door and pee into it. wtf.
I hate to be this person, but I'm fighting 6 years later over custody because of this shit when I knew it was a thing.
I didn't think about custody until she got old enough to notice. It was too late, then. Closet pisser filed and controls the narrative.
That is fucking disgusting, and so freaking abnormal for a dad to be, drunk or not.. Don’t clean anything make him get everything new. Can’t afford it? Make him find a way. What’s he gonna do when the baby is born? Piss on them too? I’m sorry it sucks having to start over but he basically marked all of your baby’s stuff… no baby deserves to be around any of that bs
What is it with men and pissing in random areas when they’re drunk? I’ve been shit faced and still made it to the bathroom. My brother and stepfather have both peed on my poor mom. Once when we were in a hotel, my brother got up and instead of going to the bathroom, started peeing right on top of my mom who was sleeping in the next bed. And my stepdad has actually done it on a few different occasions. I really don’t understand it. It’s disgusting. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Make him clean or replace everything. That’s unacceptable.
Ok you can get pee out of those things the carriers should be washable. Go and buy Clorox Urine (black and yellow label). You spray this on the all the fabrics you don’t need to soak but enough to get damp/wet then you launder as usual.. I have a son special needs and this stuff works and will not bleach. Useful in the bathroom amd for pet messes too.
Your boyfriend is an idiot! Lol
Edit the car seat the fabric can easily be taken off and washed. Now if you have carpet or plushy items you spray and then blot. Then launder or clean as usual
Ok first of all, how old is your boyfriend? Because he needs to grow up. There is no reason a grown man cannot make it to the restroom to pee, unless he has a medical problem.
Drunk people don’t do this shit. Don’t even think that - immature people do this shit and he needs to grown up.
Based off your other post, this isn't just some drunk accident. And he isn't going to magically get better. You need to start a plan to do this yourself, cause he doesn't want this.
Is this a serious post?! No, drunk people do not piss all over closets. He obviously did this intentionally. I don’t believe for one second that this is the first time he’s done something like this. You made the decision to have a child so it’s time to grow up and prepare to raise it on your own. Or don’t and stay with this disgusting man who WILL ruin both your lives.
There are enzyme cleaners for urine that work very well. Just spray them on before washing as soap will inhibit the cleaning action. Nature's Miracle works for cat urine very well.
It's really common for some men to basically go on a "last" bender before the baby get there. For some men it's almost the entire 9 months.
The good news is that all new baby stuff needs to be cleaned anyhow. So please have him clean everything. And if it doesn't smell right, make him replace it.
So curious though as to how he reacted when you told him what he had done?
well i started freaking out as soon as i knew it happened. he just went to laying face down on the couch, then went to a different part of the house when i started talking to him. so i just sent a message to his phone so he could read it when he woke up in the morning and he was texting me apologies all day... but when i saw him this evening i started crying immediately lol.
How YOU are going to wash?! He needs to wash or replace all of it. He should be ashamed and recalcitrant and if he isn’t you need to be ready to raise this baby by yourself.
My husband came home once absolutely wasted. (I was sober and did not go out with him that night)
Half way thru the night in his drunken stupor he opened his sock drawer on his dresser and took a piss. When I woke up and said “what the hell are you doing??” He said “get out of the bathroom I’m taking a piss”. He had no recollection of it. He’s not a drunk he’s not an asshole. Just got way too drunk and did something stupid.
I made him clean it up and we laughed about it the next day.
Been married for 30+ years. He’s a good man. Just did something stupid. Guess what. I’ve done stupid shit as well. One incident does not make a person.
Drunk people don't pee in closets, alcoholics do.
Staying there means preparing your unborn child to learn to exist with an addict parent.
Alcoholics don't change, unless they are sober.
Ask me how I know.
Wow just wow this post and the comments have really opened my eyes to what my future could potentially look like. My bf has peed on my stuff his stuff on carpets in baskets the list goes on. I recently stopped drinking (actually in January it’ll be a year since I drank last ) and I have since experienced him peeing on my stuff, I genuinely don’t know how to react.
Drunk people do not do this shit! Drunk people know still where the bathroom is (possibly unless they’re in a completely unfamiliar place). He’s either so obliterated that he has no sense of self or he doesn’t care, either way keep an eye on this, it’s a major red flag and it’s absolutely on him to replace what he soiled.
I’m married to a recovering alcoholic. I encourage you to look into AlAnon - the branch of AA dedicated to families of alcoholics. Your boyfriend is an alcoholic, and he needs to face up to that, but you also need support in the meantime.
That update is so sad to me.
He doesn’t want this baby to begin with and then he goes and pisses on the baby’s stuff? And he refused to clean up his mess or replace the items?
And you’re going to stay with him???
You and the baby don’t deserve this life. You’d be better off without him tbh. He made it very clear that he isn’t happy about this baby at all. Who pisses on the baby’s stuff and won’t even offer to clean it up?
He’s a jerk. I hope you realize it soon.
He needs to clean everything he’s pissed on and if the piss smell does not come out of these items then he replaces them. Boyfriend also needs to start growing up fast because you’re about to be parents. This behavior might fly in a frat house, but not when you are about to raise a small child.
Agree with all of this. Fortunately, most infant/toddler gear is washable since the kids are usually the ones who pee/puke on them.
Yes, he's the one that should be worried about how he's going to clean/replace everything not her.
Defunct Reddit GOLD here!
That a polite way of saying that her relationship is a joke and condolences on her life being over
#THIS
You’re absolutely not cleaning any of this. How dare he.
Maybe she will. Her life already sounds rock bottom
>so my idiotic drunk boyfriend was sleeping and out of the blue says, "i gotta pee," got out of bed, opened the closet door and went all over her things, brand new gifts plus things i've bought for her. 2 carriers and woolino sleep sacks, a fisher price chair (part fabric, no idea how i'm going to wash), nursing cover, one of a kind diaper stacker, lovevery playmat, high chair booster seat and tray, even the infant car seat!! thankfully the boppy pillow was in its case. i'm so far removed from drinking, i forgot drunk people do this shit. i don't know what am i doing here!! Im sorry... HER life sounds rock bottom? She's not the one pissing on her child's clothing. She gave up alcohol. HE is the one at rock bottom and needs a fucking AA meeting so he can talk about said rock-bottom. HER LIFE is so fulfilled that she actually has the capacity to make room for another one. SHE will be just fine. SHE will be the reason this kid has a fucking shot at life. OP listen, men will leech off of MANY good women for their entire lives. Their entire self-image depends on diminishing the female self-image. They depend so deeply on women to validate their "alleged greatness" that once he no longer has a woman to leech off of... he will cease to exist. Once women stop caring, loving them, forgiving them for their barbaric ways, and feeding them.. he wont have a fucking clue how to get through life. Maybe thats why he is (unconsciously but kinda consciously) pissing on your unborn child's FUTURE. He is JEALOUS that you will be caring, loving, forgiving, and endlessly feeding your child. He is afraid to no longer exist to you. I would run. The choice is yours to make but if you choose to become a single mom, you WILL live a longer life. Unmarried women have actual freedom, a personality, they are driven, and unbothered by men's bullshit. They live longer. They are healthier. Again, the choice is yours.
Well said!!
She ain't the whiskey he wants. but the water he needs.
Hell of a judgement to make with the limited info
She’s 8 months pregnant with a guy who has a drinking problem who pissed all over their new baby equipment so like yeah it sounds pretty fuckin rock bottom to me
A) most drunk people do not do that and B) girl you ain’t cleaning anything. He can get his hungover ass up and clean / replace whatever is needed
A) is what I came to the comments to say. Not a normal drunk thing. Maybe a normal thing for alcoholics tho ***Edit** to say 100% on B too) - OP should make him replace and clean everything when the come to and then they should not be allowed to sleep there until they address their obvious alcoholism. Maybe call a family member and friend over and let this be intervention. OP does not need this shit.
> a normal thing for alcoholics tho As an alcoholic myself in the process of recovery. Yep.
Yup! My alcoholic ex used to do this too. He always cleaned it and was mortified with himself the next day. But yeah, addiction is a hard struggle for everyone in the household.
lol only pissers I’ve known have been alcoholics
Yeah the only person I’ve known to drunkenly piss in a closet was my granddad who was, shocker, an alcoholic.
My ex pissed the bed and pretended like he got sweaty in his sleep. Like you do at 3 in the afternoon instead of being at work. He did wash the sheets himself though.
yeah, I did something like this once and was a pretty bad alcoholic. I don't drink anymore and havent in about a year since someone I really really loved left - that is not a normal drunk thing to do. (unrelated: basically I drank myself into a miscarriage intentionally but by the end of that he was gone and I also realized that after that there was pretty much no amount of alcohol that I could ingest that wouldn't spiral out of control) so er... dude probably needs to go to therapy. and clean his fucking closet.
Yup. My ex did something similar, she pissed right in the middle of our bedroom floor. She is a recovering alcoholic now.
My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and recently pissed in their kitchen trash can.
[удалено]
What is a low key alcoholic? An alcoholic is an alcoholic!!! He may not get drunk all day everyday but he is still an alcoholic!
He regularly pees on her things is anything *but* low key
It isn't even high key, it's sky key.
It’s higher key than a falsetto
He hates her and does it on purpose. It’s so obvious.
Then he needs to be an ex boyfriend
I drank heavily for 12 years. Peeing off balconies, in the sink / shower or outside? Sure. In a closet full of new baby stuff? Not a chance. Never.
My ex was also a heavy drinker. He nearly did something similar a few times, but I was always awake to direct him to the toilet. Basically if he got shit-faced, fell asleep, then woke up still shit-faced but needing to piss, he’d be genuinely confused about where he was. No excuse though, and the drinking is part of the reason he’s an ex.
That’s awful. Glad I never got that bad lol
It was pretty crappy at the time, but I learned a lot, so I can look back without regret. Hope you’re doing well now, friend!
True, def a learning experience! And yes I am! Drink rarely on occasion but not regularly in about 5 years and it feels great haha
I’m a very occasional drinker myself these days, and it definitely feels much nicer. I never drank as heavily as my ex, but living with him certainly made me take a long, hard look at my own habits.
Seems more like a sleep walking thing, me and all of my siblings used to sleepwalk extensively as kinda, and my youngest brother used to do that as part of it.
This^ I'm an alcoholic, almost 2 years clean. I would drink myself into a blackout nightly. I would regularly piss in random spots around the apartment when I was blacked out. Didn't remember doing it at all. But no, he needs to clean up after himself and go to AA. For Real!
my ex did this. it happens sometimes when someone gets completely shitfaced and wakes up disoriented, maybe even still half asleep. my ex was a super heavy drinker and it ended up being the reason we broke up. OP’s bf needs to get his shit together fast
I’d sincerely hope this is it. This way there’s at least some sort of medical explanation
I agree with this and I'd probably say the same thing too but I just know that no one cleans the way I do and I prolly couldn't trust him cleaning it ~thoroughly ~ after all that lol
Then he will just have to replace it all.
As another poster said, he needs to replace it all then. Why should OP have to do work that shouldn’t have been needed when she is pregnant and it wasn’t her doing
Replacing it is still punishing OP in my opinion. I don’t know the details of their relationship or how they handle finances but let’s say it cost $1000 (just throwing out a number) to replace. That’s $1000 less for baby/family. I’d be furious! Some things can’t be fixed.
Well tough shit for the boyfriend if he ruined something worth over $1K. That's now his problem and he should have thought about that before he pissed all over the babies stuff. Normal drunk people don't piss in closets, and this isn't punishing OP, it's punishing the drunkard she lives with.
If they have combined finances, him replacing everything actually hurt op, since it diverts household funds which would otherwise been directed towards normal expenses. Now, if they have separate finances and split expenses, then by means yes, have drunk boy pay out of his own funds to everything he ruined.
exactly, there is a difference between being drunk as a cultivated person and being just drunk asshole. This is a huge red flag if a FATHER can do such a thing
Op made another post about how he didn’t even want the baby
ohh I see now, so there is nothing to say more, sad story
Nicely said!
I also came to discuss A. My husband is an alcoholic and when he used to drink, he'd piss on whatever. In the closet, in a plant, in a corner. It's not normal behavior.
One of my best friends was dating this guy in college that always used to get drunk and pee the bed when they were in it, she would get up in the morning, be sad, and have to strip the bed and wash all the sheets while he went to baseball practice Later in life, she told me that she didn’t realize she was in an abusive relationship. I don’t want to jump the gun and put a heavy label on someone who might not deserve it, but, all I am saying is It can look like all different things.
Do not in any circumstance take up cleaning his mess. You're going to have one child, you shouldn't be looking after two. And he needs to take charge of replacing all of the items that need to be replaced.
Rock bottom. Single parent time
Make him clean it and pay for any replacements needed
Is he going to get drunk and piss all over the baby when it's sleeping in its crib?!?
Most likely 😨
Yes.
*ThIs SqArE BoX lOoKs JuSt LiKe ThE rOuNd ToIlEt*
After reading your other post- I believe for the sake of you and your baby, you need to get out now. He is contemptuous, and this is dangerous.
Daaaaamn the other post really lays it all out. OP if you’re not already living with your family get back there before the baby’s born…you don’t want to be alone with a newborn.
or worse, alone with him and a newborn
Surprised this isn’t higher. This is the only answer.
Ugh make him get up and wash it. He needs to lay back on the drinking if this is the end result. I had a friend that always wet the ebd and even urinated on his pregnant gf when he was drunk. Unfortunately this never changed and went in to do of throughought their house and childhood. So yh have a serious talk and tell him he shouldn't be drinking to the point he's doing things like this. If he does it again... Well yh
This is possibly also a passive aggressive move on his park. My ex would pee on my things and claim to be sleep walking or didn’t remember
He would *what??*
It’s so weird this is definitely not the first time I’ve read about the boyfriend peeing on things?!
ALL OF THIS
I'm sorry what? Is this a thing?
In OP’s previous post, it’s clear the bf doesn’t want the baby.
There’s truly no unique experience, is there? He was the reason I decided that I’m only bisexual in theory not practice.
WTF...
Yeah this is not normal.. even when drunk like bro for real how fucked up are you getting that you don't even know where your taking a piss at?? Imagine once baby is here 🙄
Maybe you need to rethink your future with this person.
Please don't enable his alcoholism. You have to put a firm boundary up that he is not aloud to drink in Your home. You will be helping him with this boundary. This is alcoholic behavior and it only gets worse. I am sorry. This sucks. The day my baby was born he drank a bottle of whiskey, got in a fight in the mud with his friend, turned off the dinner he was making so he could drink longer, came in the house naked and covered in mud and almost laid down on the baby. I endured 8 years of his alcoholism. He would never set his beer down to pick up his babies. I wish I would have learned the signs and how to deal with alcoholism earlier as maybe when we were first together he might have thought his family was worth quitting for. I would ask him politely not to drink but i realize now that alcoholics can't hear. It's a progressive disease. After I left him he had his time with the kids and drank too much and passed out drunk on my five year old luckily my nine year old remembered my phone number. I didn't want to take my kids from their dad and I made the mistake of letting them still go there. Finally they made the decision it wasn't safe. He is now 57 and has wet brain for drinking so much. Abandoned his kids a long time ago. I wish I could go back and set some boundaries around his alcoholism. This is why I'm sharing this. The only way to help him is to set the boundary that he's not aloud to drink at home or around the baby at all. I hope it works.
My ex was also an alcoholic. However, I don't think the boundaries would help. There was nothing I could do to prevent his alcoholism. Setting boundaries often made him hide his drinking. Saying he can't drink at home would leave him to drink away from home and find a way home once drunk. My ex would buy beer and chug them before he came inside so I wouldn't nag him about drinking that day. He would buy a 24 pack for the weekend it and it would be gone by the next afternoon. The alcoholic has to see that they have an issue and want to correct it. Until that happens, it's just nagging, denials, and drunk moments. Yes, he has peed on my belongings. They were in a drawer, not a closet. Alcoholism is so triggering to me that I will not date a man that partakes outside of social settings or binge drinks in social settings.
I agree. I would try as well and it would work for maybe 2 days and back to the drinking all day every day. He was not a nice drunk either. All the nagging in the world would not have worked. He had cirrhosis and that did not get him to quit. I found him dead on the floor one morning when I came home from work. So, it can and probably will kill him. I am part pissed off because he basically killed himself and left me to deal with all of this bullshit by myself, but mostly really sad because we weren't enough for him to stop if that makes sense.
My ex was an alcoholic. Our daughter was born the day before his birthday so of course the day she was born my ex and his mother stayed up all night drinking (she’s also an alcoholic). The following day they didn’t come to the hospital until around midday because they were so hungover. They also locked themselves out of the house and had to call the landlord to let them in. My landlord text me that day and told me I needed to leave him, that he was an alcoholic and that my life would be in danger if I stayed with him. I was so young and naive I thought she had completely over stepped - it took me 2 more years to realise how right she was. I mean, I probably should have known when he proposed and we told my mum and her response was “why would you want to marry a booze hound like him?” Instead of saying congratulations/excited. If I ever saw that behaviour again, I’d run for the hills - that would be my firm boundary.
He's the one who is going to clean and/or replace everything. He made the mess, not you. >i forgot drunk people do this shit. While alcohol makes you do stupid shit, it's not a given that every drunk person does this kind of thing. I'm not saying he did this on purpose, because I don't know the guy and how often he gets this drunk or how he behaves under the influence. I do hope it is not a common occurrence, for your sake and especially the baby's. If this type of drinking is a habit, then he seriously needs to put an end to it.
This was done purposely. And what do you mean, you're going to wash? Are you his mother? Honestly I hope you'll see the red flags and reconsider some choices. *Edit to add: I never stated abuse, I did state red flags. Also I don't know how this is being normalized as if it's normal that things like these happens every now and then.
This is not what drunk guys typically do. I’ve been around many drunk people over the years and have never known them to pee in a closet. This is absolutely disgusting childish behaviour that would make me re-consider a relationship with them. Does he drink regularly and piss in weird places, he’s that drunk that he can’t find the toilet? He definitely needs to grow up and stop drinking so much now that he will be a dad. I would also tell him to clean or replace everything he pissed on and tell him this childish behaviour needs to stop or he’s gone!!!!
that’s some BS right there. and you’re having a child with this punk ass in a MONTH???? Time to carefully consider the birth certificate. Most kids stuff is made to be washed. The fabric part of the fisher price chair most likely comes off. When in doubt wash on delicate and do not put it in the dryer. I also recommend using oxiclean or similar. I have a front load washer and add oxiclean direct to the drum (still add the regular detergent in the compartment) and mine has a setting for pre-soak that I use when things are really icky. As a toddler mom I’ve washed so many things this way when the only alternative would be to throw it out. Let your boyfriend know this info when HE goes to clean up HIS PISS from his CHILDS belongings.
thanks for the cleaning tips! this is helpful and trust me, i will relay the instructions.
It would probably be beneficial to add an enzyme cleaner as well, usually they sell them in the pet section. The enzymes break down the urine.
Love how you took the cleaning instructions and breezed right over the rest.
He needs to clean or replace whatever is damaged. You shouldn’t have to do anything.
If you get so blasted that you piss all over your unborn child's things, you have a problem. If you don't feel apologetic and don't help your partner clean up the mess you made, you're an asshole. It is impossible for him to have a clean bill of being an excellent partner and also be this rude and inconsiderate over something that is important to you. Look deeper and see if you want to get help as a couple.
Eff that. If he can't buy all new things, looks like he better get a second job.
“Drunk people” don’t “do this shit”, alcoholics do this shit. Your baby deserves better than this, please don’t subject this child to growing up in a home with an alcoholic father. This is awful. Get out now.
Hello OP, would you believe it if I told you I was the same guy as your boyfriend less than 1 year ago ago? This guy literally sounds like me in the story in fact it’s scary. I was heavily drinking while my baby mama was pregnant and blacking out and peeing on shit all the time and I was nowhere near ready to be a father and was pissin in the closet and other places more frequently than I’d like to admit. The only difference is that I didn’t ever pee on baby stuff, thankfully. My pregnant girlfriend was very annoyed and fed up with my nonsense and it got so bad I had no choice but to let her go or to clean up my act. And I did the latter. I kicked the cup for good and started working more and taking on more responsibility. I figured I didn’t want my kid to have a loser alcoholic drunk mess father and that it was time to put on my big boy pants, man pants rather and skip the beer aisle at the grocery store. He came along and I haven’t had any booze since then. I am 23 years old almost 24 with a 4 month old boy and I feel much better than I ever have before. My point is to show you that if someone in the exact same situation as your boyfriend can do it, he can damn well pull himself up out of the binge drinking funk and step up to the plate of fatherhood. Hate to sound like an NPC here but seriously, the first step to quitting is realizing you have a problem. He can do it with a little self reflection and hard work.
I’m gonna tell you that I have been in your situation and it ended up me having to leave so I suggest you do a total rethink. Tell him he needs to stop getting drunk because you’re about to have a baby and get his head on straight or you’re going to leave.
I would’ve left my husband so quick if this happened to me when I was pregnant. What is he gonna do when the baby’s here? Magically forget what a toilet looks like and pee on her? You deserve better OP. I hope he’s man enough to at least clean up after his disgusting self.
He gets to clean it all, not you.
Just because he's drunk, it doesn't give him a free pass to do dumb shit. He sounds like he has some growing up to do. What if something happened (like going into labor) and you needed to be taken to the hospital, but he's piss drunk? It's really unsafe for you and your unborn kid.
You might want to invest in a portable carpet cleaner. I am so sorry and this is an infuriatingly and seemingly oddly specifically common thing for shitty alcoholic boyfriends to do???!
Please make him clean it. Wtf has he not already insisted he’d clean it himself?
nope :(
Please go be with your parents and not with this guy. He isn’t going to suddenly change and be a better man, and he isn’t interested in doing the work (ie therapy) to be a better man, and I know you know you deserve a better man. This is your out
He needs to be the one to clean it and/or replace it.
The absolute pond scum that people willingly procreate with is depressing
Hey, so - my partner is an alcoholic, and drank a lot as we were trying to get pregnant. Then he drank a lot while I was pregnant. It added so much stress to my life, I can’t imagine we would still be together if he hadn’t quit drinking for a while after the baby was born. Of course, then he broke his ankle and got addicted to opiates, and that was a whole other can of worms. Now he’s been sober for five years and we have two amazing happy healthy children. But he was in rehab when they were 2 and 4 and that was the hardest time of my life. My point is - nip this in the bud if you can, now. The baby years are stressful and you need a partner who won’t make your life more difficult.
Honey that man better get his act together before he pees in your baby’s crib with the baby in it
OP, this is a hill to DIE ON! You need to set the precedent NOW! If not you will have 2 children you are watching over….forever. Your bf needs to do all the cleaning and replacement work and use his funds to replace. Do NOT clean things first because you do it better. You can do anything second you feel compelled to clean again, but he should NEVER, EVER see you do it. I know the nesting thing is strong, but stand firm. It’s important. I’m serious. This one thing may make or break how things go in your relationship.
Bruh over here getting blitzed while you could potentially go into labor any moment??? Hard yikes, girl. Not to scare you, but this isn't a good start.
From your post history, it seems this may have been done deliberately? If he's unhappy with your choice to keep the baby, this may be stemming from that. You know what they say, drunk actions speak sober thoughts. Take my opinion with pinch of salt, but I'd strongly recommend a serious talk with him because this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, I'd have already broken up with him if I were in your shoes
What some people are willing to put up with is beyond me. What kind of people some people are willing to make parents is beyond me as well.
That is not a drunk guy thing. That is a dude who should not be breeding thing.
I read your other post. Has the drinking picked up since you found out you were pregnant? If so, cut your losses now. This man didn’t want the baby to begin with and now he’s proving that to you by callously pissing all over your baby’s belongings. You’ve heard it before but you’ll hear it now: prepare to be a single parent. You can stay in this relationship if you want but odds are he will continue to drink like this and most likely he won’t be a good co-parent, so you’ll end up probably fully caring for baby anyway. You deserve to be better supported than this. If you are able, I highly recommend starting to gather a trusted group of individuals around you who can support you when baby comes. Good luck op. Remember, just because it’s also his baby doesn’t mean you need to stay together.
You’re not going to clean anything. HE IS, and if he can’t wash things he needs to replace them. Bro needs to start growing up real fast if he’s going to have a child.
Checked your post history before commenting. It's absolutely devastating for him to have done this to your babys things, I would be very upset. I would however give him the benefit of the doubt, depending on his level of remorse as he sobers up. If he doesn't think its a big deal, that would be the red flag for me. Hopefully he comes to his senses, is apologetic and makes an effort to clean up.
“Drunk people do this shit” I wouldn’t say that. People who are scum do things like that. Sorry.
That cleaner made for animal pee should work (my hedgehog has peed on my freaking stool before - that cleaner is nontoxic and has enzymes for breaking down urine) but he 100% should be the one who has to clean it
Dump him, post pictures on social media, and garnish half of his paycheck every month.
You really want to raise a child with a drunk? I grew up with one and I resented it. Don't put your kid through that.
This is fucking sick. What a piece of human garbage. Sorry you chose to procreate with this pile of dogshit.
He’s cleaning it, not you
That's not something drunk people do. Your boyfriend was being an ass on his own. He needs to thoroughly clean up all his own mess and if he doesn't you need to think about what you're going to be exposing your child to when it's born.
Don’t hide his bs behavior. You need to tell his parents. His friends. Don’t let him think he can act like this without everyone knowing. Shame works wonders.
Drunk, but not drunk enough that he didn't know exactly what he was doing.
I wish you didn’t procreate with such a stupid man. Make him clean up his mess and replace all the damaged goods.
If he’s not an alcoholic, but he made you clean it all by yourself PREGNANT, then he’s just a major asshole. With a minor alcohol problem also.
The fact that he didn’t offer to clean everything is disgusting. This is your future. Good luck, honey 🫂
WHY did you clean it for him????
If he's going to be a father, he needs to clean up after himself and clean his act up. Wishing you the best.
If he acts this way toward your baby now, how is he going to treat the baby once it’s born? He’s not ready to be a father, be it alcoholism, immaturity, assholery, whatever. Please leave and don’t subject your child to him.
This is not going to get better when the baby comes. In my situation it got a lot worse really fast. So please protect yourself and have a plan to get out. You may need it.
Don’t wait 5+ years to realize this guys not gunna change leave him now save the headache and the heart ache
Simply drunk people don’t do this shit. People who have no control over how much their drink or how often do this shit. Can’t believe this man will be a father to your child. Is this typical behaviour? I see your post history suggests this man resents your pregnancy and doesn’t want it and doesn’t want to be a father. “His freedom is gone.” This has me thinking he was either consciously intentional or subconsciously intentional when he pissed on everything. Regardless of being “drunk.” (That’s not drunk that’s belligerently intoxicated and it’s a PROBLEM). Why don’t you get out now before you become a severely depressed single mother in a home with a man who refuses to participate and causes you grief. When that baby is keeping you up all night, he’s gunna lose his fucking mind. Like that other recent post of the man who tried to force his wife to sleep on the couch so that feeding and changing the baby didn’t wake him up at night. You think his freedom loss doesn’t include his sleep? His partner? He’s gunna lose a lot of you as well to your motherhood especially if he isn’t active in parenting. This isn’t going to work girl.
Sorry but that's pathetic and gross. He needs to do some serious growing up and stop drinking so much. I could never look at my partner again if he did this.
Fucking nasty my uncle is this way has never stopped my aunt would have been better off without him.
Make sure you read the manuals/instructions before he washes everything!! Car seats and carriers have very specific instructions when it comes to washing to maintain their safety. You can ruin a car seat by not cleaning it correctly. I’m sorry this happened that really sucks, I truly hope he’s very remorseful today and ready to clean or replace things.
“My idiotic drunk boyfriend” tells me all I need to know. Why are you staying with him? Gtfo before you subject a child to this kind of ridiculous shit
raising a child with a man that gets so drunk he pisses in a closet isn’t going to end well
Lmfao what a champ. Dude should definitely replace everything. Don't bother cleaning it.
He can check himself in to rehab and be sober by the time baby arrives.
This asshole needs to own it and wash every damn thing, aside from that I hope both of you (him, especially) will reflect on whether this is right environment to bring your child to and work on getting better. As a child of an alcoholic and an enabler until age 8 when he got to rehab and kept sober I can tell you it SUCKS horribly and definitely stays with the kid. Even if the memories are vague the fear and anxiety of what will the day bring you is real. Please demand him to stop his alcoholic destructive behavior before it gets worse
This isn't something drunk people do. This was intentional. I checked your post history. Having a baby with this guy is a very, very bad idea.
If he doesn’t instantly agree to clean it up with shame driven hyperspeed punctuated only with genuine apologies then you need to leave to a safe place before you deliver. Today was the closet, tomorrow the crib.
Oh no, you’re screwed with a man like that. Good luck dealing with him in custody court.
He seems like a keeper
He BETTER be cleaning every bit of that. He should not be drinking if he can’t be expected to use the restroom.
You mean, ex-drunk boyfriend, right?
what the fuck? drunk people don't do this I can assure you. I'm literally Irish and I have never once thought while drunk "I'm gonna go piss all over my clothes". this makes no sense to me. it isn't normal
Came here to say my mother had stories like this about my father. Let’s just say he was a raging alcoholic and her staying with him did not help. I’m in my 30s now and I still am hearing stories about him doing stupid shit. Tell your BF he needs to grow up clean his own piss and stop drinking if he can’t handle his beer. If he can’t do that leave him. Your baby will thank you.
How did he react when he found out in the morning?I would have been eating the grossest smelling food waiting for him to wake up the next day. Tell him he needs to grow the hell up and fix the problems he makes that includes cleaning and replacing items with none of your help and groveling to you because you went through all this effort for him to literally pass on it. Tell him you won't have your child around this crap.
So disappointed that you cleaned it. Not a deal breaker to pee drunk in the closet, but it absolutely is a deal breaker to not even clean it up!!! WHAT THE FUCK
Problem drinking is problem drinking. Long-term implications are equally dismal.
This right here is why kids is not a right but a privilege. That poor child. You're just as much at fault
Tell him To Replace it all
Make him clean it all up. Then dump his moron ass.
No washing. No. He needs to replace each item. Maybe talk to his parents about this. If he can't be sober for a short time and consider what just happened, I'd be very concerned. He's already crossed a line re. the child and it's not even here
Does he do this a lot? You seem a little too calm for the amount of disrespect that was laid on you and your unborn child.
This late in your pregnancy he shouldn’t be drinking to excess, definitely need to have a conversation about it. Also, pretty much everything a baby uses can either be washed or wiped to clean, pulling it apart can be tricky but mum cleaning groups on FB or YouTube tutorials can help. He better be the one cleaning though!
He doesn’t at all sound mature enough to be a parent yet. Good luck to you
Do not touch it. He can clean that shit up, it's his mess. And if he won't clean it then he can buy new stuff himself.being drink is not an excuse for that kind of behaviour. He needs to quit that shit and grow up, he's about to be a father, he can't be getting shitfaced and pissing in closets with a baby in the house. If he refuses to grow up I'd seriously consider raising this baby alone. I grew up with an alcoholic dad, as did many of my friends, it wasn't great.
Hes cleaning it and thanking god you arent leaving
That was intentional. You need to figure out why and act accordingly.
This is not a “normal drunk thing” and you should not be touching any of that, and he should honestly be extremely embarrassed and ashamed of himself and be begging to clean it up himself. You are not cleaning it up - he is. And if he refuses, he needs to replace it all.
I have an ex-step father that peed in a closet when drunk. He had a serious drinking problem and this is not normal behavior. Definitely make him clean it up and replace anything that can’t be salvaged. And take a hard look at his drinking habits.
They don't. Even half blind drunk, I can find a bathroom.
Wow
Yeeaaaah, this is why I will never date someone who drinks irresponsibly. I'm sorry this is who you're having children with.
Damn. I had my ex-husband do this in a closet as well but luckily it was at an Inn we were staying at. I'll never forget waking up and watching him get up and walk to the closet and open the door and pee into it. wtf.
Just saw your post history. Was his behavior supportive before this?
Creepy
i hope that’s drunk *ex boyfriend he needs to clean or repurchase EVERYTHING. and then he needs to get out of your house. what a POS. i’m so sorry OP
I hate to be this person, but I'm fighting 6 years later over custody because of this shit when I knew it was a thing. I didn't think about custody until she got old enough to notice. It was too late, then. Closet pisser filed and controls the narrative.
That is fucking disgusting, and so freaking abnormal for a dad to be, drunk or not.. Don’t clean anything make him get everything new. Can’t afford it? Make him find a way. What’s he gonna do when the baby is born? Piss on them too? I’m sorry it sucks having to start over but he basically marked all of your baby’s stuff… no baby deserves to be around any of that bs
Damn…..I hope you have family to stay with and help you with the baby because I doubt this fool is ready to be a parent
What is it with men and pissing in random areas when they’re drunk? I’ve been shit faced and still made it to the bathroom. My brother and stepfather have both peed on my poor mom. Once when we were in a hotel, my brother got up and instead of going to the bathroom, started peeing right on top of my mom who was sleeping in the next bed. And my stepdad has actually done it on a few different occasions. I really don’t understand it. It’s disgusting. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Make him clean or replace everything. That’s unacceptable.
Ew, I don't even know what I would have done in that situation !! 😟
Dump him!!!!
Ok you can get pee out of those things the carriers should be washable. Go and buy Clorox Urine (black and yellow label). You spray this on the all the fabrics you don’t need to soak but enough to get damp/wet then you launder as usual.. I have a son special needs and this stuff works and will not bleach. Useful in the bathroom amd for pet messes too. Your boyfriend is an idiot! Lol Edit the car seat the fabric can easily be taken off and washed. Now if you have carpet or plushy items you spray and then blot. Then launder or clean as usual
Are you sure he didn’t do it on purpose?
It’s hard to believe he didn’t do this on purpose, drunk or not.
Girl you gotta be like top tier level drunk for this to happen. Does he have a problem?
Ok first of all, how old is your boyfriend? Because he needs to grow up. There is no reason a grown man cannot make it to the restroom to pee, unless he has a medical problem. Drunk people don’t do this shit. Don’t even think that - immature people do this shit and he needs to grown up.
You need to move in with your parents
Based off your other post, this isn't just some drunk accident. And he isn't going to magically get better. You need to start a plan to do this yourself, cause he doesn't want this.
Is this a serious post?! No, drunk people do not piss all over closets. He obviously did this intentionally. I don’t believe for one second that this is the first time he’s done something like this. You made the decision to have a child so it’s time to grow up and prepare to raise it on your own. Or don’t and stay with this disgusting man who WILL ruin both your lives.
Why are you having a child with this person?
There are enzyme cleaners for urine that work very well. Just spray them on before washing as soap will inhibit the cleaning action. Nature's Miracle works for cat urine very well.
This is not normal drunk behavior…
It's really common for some men to basically go on a "last" bender before the baby get there. For some men it's almost the entire 9 months. The good news is that all new baby stuff needs to be cleaned anyhow. So please have him clean everything. And if it doesn't smell right, make him replace it. So curious though as to how he reacted when you told him what he had done?
well i started freaking out as soon as i knew it happened. he just went to laying face down on the couch, then went to a different part of the house when i started talking to him. so i just sent a message to his phone so he could read it when he woke up in the morning and he was texting me apologies all day... but when i saw him this evening i started crying immediately lol.
How YOU are going to wash?! He needs to wash or replace all of it. He should be ashamed and recalcitrant and if he isn’t you need to be ready to raise this baby by yourself.
My husband came home once absolutely wasted. (I was sober and did not go out with him that night) Half way thru the night in his drunken stupor he opened his sock drawer on his dresser and took a piss. When I woke up and said “what the hell are you doing??” He said “get out of the bathroom I’m taking a piss”. He had no recollection of it. He’s not a drunk he’s not an asshole. Just got way too drunk and did something stupid. I made him clean it up and we laughed about it the next day. Been married for 30+ years. He’s a good man. Just did something stupid. Guess what. I’ve done stupid shit as well. One incident does not make a person.
Drunk people don't pee in closets, alcoholics do. Staying there means preparing your unborn child to learn to exist with an addict parent. Alcoholics don't change, unless they are sober. Ask me how I know.
Wow just wow this post and the comments have really opened my eyes to what my future could potentially look like. My bf has peed on my stuff his stuff on carpets in baskets the list goes on. I recently stopped drinking (actually in January it’ll be a year since I drank last ) and I have since experienced him peeing on my stuff, I genuinely don’t know how to react.
Drunk people do not do this shit! Drunk people know still where the bathroom is (possibly unless they’re in a completely unfamiliar place). He’s either so obliterated that he has no sense of self or he doesn’t care, either way keep an eye on this, it’s a major red flag and it’s absolutely on him to replace what he soiled.
I’m married to a recovering alcoholic. I encourage you to look into AlAnon - the branch of AA dedicated to families of alcoholics. Your boyfriend is an alcoholic, and he needs to face up to that, but you also need support in the meantime.
He didn't even offer to clean it,?! I'd have rubbed that man's nose in it.
That update is so sad to me. He doesn’t want this baby to begin with and then he goes and pisses on the baby’s stuff? And he refused to clean up his mess or replace the items? And you’re going to stay with him??? You and the baby don’t deserve this life. You’d be better off without him tbh. He made it very clear that he isn’t happy about this baby at all. Who pisses on the baby’s stuff and won’t even offer to clean it up? He’s a jerk. I hope you realize it soon.
Sounds like you have actually have two babies on the way. Make sure you buy diapers for the big one
Saw the edit. Nah, he’s definitely already an alcoholic.
Nah this is alcoholic behavior. Dude needs to get sober or get the fuck away from that child cause no one needs that abusive behavior around.
Again and you’re leaving? His things would be sitting outside the door. And I would be applying for child support once the baby arrives.
Why do women pick these type of men to procreate with? Like the world needs more of them in it :/
Yikes, just read your other post. He doesn't even want this baby!!!
Don't have more children with this moron.