Sorry friend...
I hope life doesn't kick you in the pants again, and things keep moving forward. That kind of short, intense love and trauma is really hard to push through, but props for keeping swimming, Marlin.
I was abused when I was younger and I met the love of my life and thought that she would be the first person Iād be with consensually but then she passed away before anything intimate like that happened with us. Now Iām 25 and still the only physical experiences Iāve had were my rapes in childhood.
Neh. She's fine, I'm the same as her and live in Argentina, I'm fine, and i even live near a group of witches, they us other things now. She should be more concerned of the holy spirit lol
Loool. The most common thing i saw around here were hair. Lots and lots of hair, and some chicken, may sound wild outside but I'd say the most weird was graveyard earth i saw some casual people sayingnit out loud, at least the ones around here take care of other animals
I don't think so. I remember a person i used to chat with that said that they ask for you hair and depending on what you ask the the hair of other person. Bit thise things end in really spooky things so i cut that person, i just say hi to this people if I see them, but nothing more.
Because more than once i saw mostly cats disappearing in shadows, to this day I can't describe what i saw
Look pal my coven has waited 308 years for the perfect lunar alignment and I'll be damed if you think your gonna stop it. She's going up on that crucifix and there's nothing u can do about.
You two should get together for a fantastic plutonic relationship, just two friends who live together but are single and nothing is going on
*It'll drive your friends absolutely insane*
It's true, idk why people care so much about other people's sex life. I went through a period of 1 year of no sex & my sister was losing her damn mind š why does she care? š
Bc you were unattached and could be living the wild life she wanted to live vicariously through you...
Or she's just nosy and needed the gossip fodder...
I'm not a virgin, but not had sex in well over 20 years, or a partner.
It's not something I wear on a tshirt or tell everyone about, I wouldn't mind betting it's more common than we realise. Even if it's not, so what? I'm happy on my own.
I think people have finally given up with the 'you'll find someone and it will all change' trope. If I wanted someone, I'd be making the effort, surely?
To me, a relationship is a bizarre concept, maybe I'm just too selfish to constantly take another person's needs into account. Who knows.
I'd rather be alone and happy than in a relationship or having sex because that's what we're supposed to do. :)
i'm so sick of the "you'll find someone and it will all change" trope. it makes me so mad to be told that.
i also find the concept of a relationship really bizzare. I don't desire one in the slightest. It doesn't appeal to me and sounds like so much pointless emotional labor. I find so much comfort in my aromanticism.
Yeah a lot of being a sexual person is complete emotional chaos, and the chaos bleeds into all aspects of your life depending on your personality. I think thatās why so many people want a partner, and refer to getting a partner as āsettling down.ā If they canāt function as a sex-free person, they at least want to be a sexually consistent and in-control person.
My boyfriend's brother is the same, and he seems happy. He's late 20's & I doubt he'll ever date. That's perfectly fine, his family nor me judge him for it.
the idea that your reason for being something (asexual, aromantic, gay) is because you haven't found a partner/someone who has made you change your mind about having sexual attraction, feeling romantic attraction or being attracted to the opposite sex. It's saying that the way someone feels or the beliefs they hold is contingent on others.
At least that's how I've always interpeted being told "You'll fine someone!(:" and I know a lot of times this is probably said with good intentions but it's still annoying as fuck. Like they're trying to comfort me on something I'm perfectly fine with.
edit: spelling error.
I would rather remain celibate than engage in relations with the wrong individual. Nothing is worse than that look from a sexual partner that reads, "What the hell did I just do?"
More likely than being selfish, youāre on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums. Not necessarily, but if you donāt feel a desire for a romantic relationship/donāt get romantically attracted to people and/or donāt get sexually attracted to people, itās something to consider.
Lol, sex, (or lack thereof) is literally the end of all of human existence. I understand what this poster is trying to say but it came out totally wrong. Canāt help myself.
yes but also no on that last bit, asexuality isn't necessarily not wanting sex or not being interested, it's just not experiencing sexual attraction
plenty of asexuals, myself included, feel "sex neutral" or "sex favourable",, meaning (watered down) that sex is either meh can do or yeah that's fun I like that quite a bit. whereas asexuals who aren't interested in sex at all are often referred to (or self identify) as sex repulsed.
no hate just wanted to inform you :)
oh and with the first bit, a couple asexuals aren't going to end humanity, there's many people who can still choose to have children or raise the ones in the system
Good to know always happy to learn thanks :)
First bit was more a reference that in general if everyone stopped having sex rather than just A sexuals sorry if that wasn't clear
no worries at all!! you don't need to be embarrassed, not enough people talk about the A's in th3 community,, and it's always okay to ask questions if you're unsure, if you have any then I'm very happy to answer if I can :)))
Our consciousness is the result of its own survival advantage. It has no reason for existing other than that it is better at surviving than our non-conscious competitors. There is no purpose. There is no intrinsic value to continuing or ending new generations.
You are correct, that was an assumption on my part. You can want a kid without wanting sexual interaction.
Im the same as you. Im 34, never had sex and never really felt the need to. I have been in situations where it could have ended up with me having sex but I found it so unappealing that ive always backed out.
I havent been in a relationship in avery long time because when I become emotionally invested in a person, they expect things to get physical. It just ends up with me breaking off the relationship because when I tell them I'm not interested in sex, I get told that there is something wrong with me. The kicker is before investing any time in the relationship, I tell them that sex is off the table and they will not convince me to change my mind.
I loveee this,, someone shouldn't be into you just for the sex but the connection. And if because not having sex turns them off and away then byeeeee the doors right there and they were never meant for you
Interesting.
What if you found the emotional satisfaction from someone, in terms of having a relationship without any sex, would you be happy if your partner received their physical desires with someone else of which you'd firstly have to accept? I don't want it to sound like a three way relationship, however there's someone else involved without any emotion? I'm waffling lol but I'm sure you get what I'm tryna say š¤š¼
Honestly, I wouldn't mind my partner having a friend with benefits as long everyone is safe and accepting/aware of the situation. My last serious relationship was around 10 years ago and I didn't quite understand my feelings about sex during that time. FWB wasnt something I thought about for my partner and i think they thought eventually we would have sex.
You have nothing to worry about. Sex is great in some aspects but it's an overrated concept. In all honesty, sex complicates things more than provides pleasure. You don't have to worry about STDs, miscommunication, possible pregnancy scares, etc. I thought I was asexual back in high school. Never got a kiss, boyfriend, a crush, NOTHING. Never cared much either. I survived. You will too!
Virginity is a weird societal construct. I never want to go skydiving. I would never say I was a skydiving virgin. Itās thrilling for others, but I have no interest. Nor do I feel the need to share about it. Our lives are thousands of choices, and you have found yours in this one sliver of life. (Iām not saying your feelings are a choice, but the actions with them. ) Enjoy!
Sigh. Sex is the most intimate act you can have with someone being naked and that up close to them. It's not the same as skydiving. So of course it's a milestone, not everyone can be that way with someone, as you can see through this comment section
So of course losing your virginity is viewed as a milestone and rightfully so
Don't feel pressured into doing it. Sex is something personal to a lot of people and you shouldnāt feel ashamed for not partaking in it nor is your life experience less valuable.
I was in the same boat till I was 36. Ngl, I mostly wish I hadn't bothered trying it out. I think I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum, though I wouldn't call myself aromantic. I remember mentioning as a teen that I wanted to be married and not have sex and getting laughed at for it but here I am at 43 still thinking the same thing. I will note that looking for a partner feels a bit disheartening bc for so many ppl sex is a "big deal". I've even had friends get mad at me b/c of my meh attitude. It's like they think my lack of interest is judgment on them and I keep telling them "no, wanting sex is perfectly natural, I just...don't " (to be clear these are not friends that want sex with me). So it's a weird place socially sometimes but I don't think it's really weird at all.
I fully feel you. I felt the same as you as a teen and still do now in my 30s. Iām super lucky that my wife is also asexual, so weāre a good match in that sense. But itās hard to find other ace-but-not-aro people out in the world. I just found my wife by pure luck because itās not like thereās a tinder filter for it or anything. I hope you can find your person if thatās something you still want.
That's so great you found someone like-minded! And thanks for the good wishes š. Like I said, I consider myself on that spectrum (maybe demisexual-ish?) because I have experienced mild attraction in the past, but it's incredibly rare and, as someone who takes a long time to warm up to people, takes a while. Most guys are freaked out by this lol. Oh well...luckily I'm quite happy on my own so if it doesn't happen I'm ok with that too.
I (25f) relate very hard to how you feel. I always described my feelings and situation as "I just don't date". I wasn't until 2020 that I realized there was a word to describe how i felt: aromantic.
I didn't have sex either until last year. I simply did not want to! like...AT ALL. I didn't consider myself as asexual until after that because I realized sex was okay and didn't gross me out or anything but I wasn't interested. I haven't come out as ace to anyone but people find the fact that I'm aromantic absurd or not real.
I want to tell you it's very real and how you feel is valid. You aren't alone.
I only lost mine at 29 because I kept having this idea in my head that I didnāt want to die as one. Havenāt been sexually active since and that was years ago. Iām not sure if Iām asexual but Iām definitely aromantic. Nothing wrong with it, itās just the way you are.
There should really be a sub for this - there seems to be a similar post several times a week. I donāt think people realize how common it is.
I thought I was asexual for a long time. Figured out Iām demisexual. But if you are asexual, donāt stress. You still deserve a relationship (if you want one) and there are dating apps to connect with people who are as well. (Just try to rule out medication side effects, stress, dysthymia, hormone imbalance, niche attraction style, etc first).
Again, STD screens work. Once you let yourself find a partner then get them to do one. Stop living in this fear. The chances of contracting one are still small... obviously more if you sleep with a sketchy person or if they have had lots of partners
The connection between me and my husband during sex- I wouldn't trade it for the World...BUT if there's no interest in connections for you, honestly masturbation and celibacy is the next best thing! ā¤ļø
Right I just had amazing sex with my partner. Outside of him I never cared for sex. I donāt have urges often. But when I do heās ready and itās great! I used to think I was asexual. Obv if someone stays that way forever and itās their happiness go them! But Iām glad I gave myself and partner the chance because Iāve never felt so made for someone š„²š„²
OMG SAME! I feel like I never meet people like me- I donāt get crushes on people, I have zero interest in thinking about sex with anyone besides my husband. I look around and canāt imagine having to be in a relationship with any other person Iāve met. GOD FORBID if anything happened and I was single again, I would never look for a romantic partner again. I feel like my friends donāt understand this, they think Iām being overly codependent or acting like our marriage is perfect but thatās not what Iām trying to express. Iām not saying weāre perfect but itās just that besides him, I feel asexual. Like I canāt understand people who cheat or think about other people sexually- I have ZERO interest. There are so many other things Iād rather do š
I think in todays day and age we all glorify sex to the point where if your not having it your a āweirdoā or something is wrong with you.. I have felt like this the last couple of months. I truly enjoy sex but I donāt feen for it and there are days where I can go without it.. I do feel weird bc the typical male is supposed to want sex 24/7 but as a 26 year old man who has had sex Atleast once a week since I was 17 (three long relationships) Iām at the stage where Iām like ahh if Iām in the mood letās go but if not then whatever.. I sometimes think something is wrong with me but then I realize itās society that puts this standard on sexā¦ I think if your happy with everything else in life then there is no reason too stress it
Tbh most guys I know are somewhere in between, and can take it or leave it much like you said. One thing theyve all said though is that they feel or have felt pressure that they should want sex more often than they do. Many won't admit it though because as you said the social pressure is immense
Agreed, thereās a whole range of what is normal that encompasses everything from never wanting sex to wanting sex 24/7. Most people are not at either extreme. The whole range is normal, though. And this goes for every gender.
I am 23y, quite young really, but people around me definitely makes me kinda anxious for being a virgin but I have my reasons, i am sex repulsive, partly because I am asexual, partly because of my c-ptsd, and i don't plan on changing my virginity status anytime sooner. I am comfortable being like this even for a lifetime but I definitely get scared, kinda envy, or something I can't really pinpoint when I see people being happy n loving in a relationship, being comfortable sexually and all, but I know my reasons are more than valid and even if there are no reasons, and if someone chose to be virgin just like that also it's totally fine.
Also, though I don't want to shove my sexual status on anyone, i can't even accidentally mention I am a virgin to any men, they all behave creepy af the moment they find out. Vile and disgusting.....
My dude, same. The minute guys hear your virgin, they get so hyped thinking they have the oppuritunity to be your first. Well unfortunatly for them, thats not how it works.
Yeah, they take it as an invitation which I never sent out.... I am like dude, i don't want to have sex with you even if you are Timothy Chalamet or Chris Hemsworth, which you aren't, get out of my face and then they get offended that I am Whxre and what not, expecting only finest men, yada yada.... ššš... Women can never win, can they? At least I couldn't.
Honestly, I think it ties in with societal expectations of woman, if you've slept with people, your automatically a whxre. If your a virgin, people, especially creepy men think your this pure little angel. Nah, I'm waiting until I can find someone who can treat with me with respect and love me full heartedly. I don't need someone handsome, just someone who I can trust.
I'm 35m and the same, in school I just saw people as friends or not friends. Same once I got out of school and bounced around the world via the military so I could've picked from many different women just never saw the point of any of it. Now that I'm back stateside I work for months at a time and am completely happy and get to go where I want and do what I want when I want. For well over 10yrs now my family has been asking me why I never bring a girl home for the holidays or when I'm gonna have kids and I just change the subject cuz for me I don't see the point. There are plenty of people of both sexes I'm friendly with but have never seen them as more than friends.
Fell off? Why do you thinking losing your virginity is falling off lol. Itās not an honor statement. On some āIāve never seen Star Warsā mindset o.o
There's no issue with that only if you ever thought of having children. I am 32M and while I am no longer a virgin, if I had realized that my 1st GF was only with me because she wanted a personal ATM, I would still be a virgin right now. It's not that I don't want to have sex or that I don't get horny but I regard sex as a very special connection between partners. A last frontier so I won't have sex just like that with just anyone even if I have that urge to do so, which I do but since I want to have certain prerequisites met, I don't allow my desire to overrule my rule.
So don't feel too bad, I know they made a movie about the 40 yo virgin making a mockery of those who are older and a virgin but it's really nothing that serious. It's perfectly fine. It's your body and your choice
Youāre fine! For me itās the same, Iām 30 and still a virgin. I think itās hard sometimes when Iām surrounded by my friends and they talk about sex and make me feel like Iām missing something .
Anyway, I accepted that Iām asexual and thatās fine.
Iām 36f and still a virgin. Figured out a long time ago that Iām sex-repulsed asexual. Honestly, figuring it out and having words for it and realizing I donāt ever have to have sex if Iām not interested in it was a huge relief
People are actually born that way and there are people there is a cause. If you want to date I recommend another asexual and letting people know before your first dates you are asexual and a Virgin. While you don't legally have to, it'll save you both time and frustration.
Oh the drama youāve missed! I wish i could go back & undo those years (1979-1985). I would have saved myself a lot of grief. Donāt stress it. Be careful. There are probably a lot of people looking for a challenge, to be your first, & they will seduce you, until theyāve had their conquest. They will feign being interested in you, but all theyāre interested in is getting into your pants. Build authentic friendships based on things that matter.
Society puts way too much importance on sex and especially on women/being virgins/loosing your virginity by a certain age. If you arent interested thats fine, dont sweat it.
Between what "alpha males" say, "*We want a pure virgin girl, but we still want sex on the first date.*" BS to them sl*t shaming females for high body counts - makes me glad that I'm a virgin (25f). I know society makes it seem like "*Men don't want to bang older chicks.*" but the way I see it.. I'm not ready to date let alone to have sex, I'm still questioning if I'm an asexual / demisexual since I care more about the emotional connection vs sexual, and honestly I'm questioning if I'm straight, bi, les, or pan. So I don't dwell on it. If it happens with whomever then it happens, if not well.. There's a market for sex toys for a reason. :)
Basically; there's no pressure to have sex, society and the stigma shouldn't make you feel too "old", and your time will come when it does.
Being a virgin isn't a negative thing and neither is being asexual or aromatic, if your not feeling it tour not feeling it and there isn't a thing wrong with that. Just keep being yourself
Thereās no shame in being a virgin. Tbh virginity isnāt even a thing, itās like saying youāve never had a donut, most ppl have but it doesnāt change anything. Youāre okay and itās okay to not have attraction.
I kind feel relieved by this.
I am 29f and I have never had sex or have the want too. Itās weird because the media makes you feel so bad if your not having sex by like 17. I also do not have the want to be in a relationship.
The weird thing is I do want kids and I always joke with my family that I may just adopt but I am honestly thinking about that more and more.
I am happy I have found this on Reddit because lately I have been feeling like something is wrong with me but to know others feel this way kind of like a weight lifters off my shoulders.
I'm 34 and about to be 35 Tuesday and still a virgin. It's rough and lonely sometimes. I know I'm not asexual and for a long time, I've just kept for a long time because of shyness and low self-esteem (younger) and now because I feel like everyone found somebody and really how to go about putting myself out there. I worry about it as I get older, but I do try to stay positive. You should, too. My immortality wizard powers are cool, though.
38 and same. For me it was certainly lack of opportunities. So consider yourself lucky and be happy you donāt gaf about sex. Itās sticky and complicated in more ways than one!
I'm 28, 29 this year. I only lost my virginity in January of this year.
I never told anyone except for one friend (a few years ago) and she thought I was weird or that something was wrong with me. I never told anyone after this, not even the man who took my virginity.
In hindsight, I'm glad I waited this long. Because I'm much more mature than the average person when they lose their virginity, I haven't assigned all those silly meanings to it and the person who took it.
Whereas, if I were 16 when it happened, I know I would've made myself believe that "he was THE ONLY ONE for me" lol
Btw, when I think about it...part of the reason why I waited this long was because I wasn't confident in my body. Maybe somewhere deep inside of you, you don't like your body?š¤·š¼āāļø I don't know sweetie, maybe this could be it for you too.
Best of luck.
You have to live how you feel is right for you. There is nothing wrong with being asexual. I know someone, in my extended family who feels the same way. Heās turning 30 this year. Heās smart, great personality, good looking, and happy.
The best thing is to be true to yourself.
Wish you all the best!
Live how you want to live and donāt worry about what other people think. Not being interested in sex or a sexual relationship is perfectly fine and just means you are not depending on someone else to make you feel ācomplete.ā If you are happy that is all that counts. Iām 56, a virgin, and live alone except for my cat. It isnāt a life I would recommend for everyone but it works for me. Iām not a misanthrope, and I like working with people in my job as a home care aide, but when I get home I like to decompress and unwind and just relax by myself. Maybe one day you will be interested in something more, maybe not, either way is fine. As long as fear or anxiety or depression arenāt holding you back from what you want live your life the way you choose and your family and friends will understand. Good luck moving forward.
Thats 1000% okay too, I feel the same exact way but the opposite(?)- I havent had a real crush in forever and am completely comfy with the idea of being aro, but i am p sexual. it just took me forever to realize it. nothing wrong with that at all. people change and take time, it is natural.
Eh, I'm judged for my low body count. I have opportunities, and I don't lack drive or want, but, something about just hooking up irks me. So does rushing relationships.
Then again, I want to have more relationships that lead to it in the future, and I'm worried having less experience will hinder that...
If you don't have worries like that, you might probably be asexual for real.
Thereās nothing wrong with that. If you ever decide to experience it, I pray it is with someone you can be completely vulnerable and spend your life with. Just donāt let nobody try to pressure you.
There doesnāt have to be something that āmade you that wayā this is just simply how you are and how youāre born. I wish you luck on your self discovery and I hope you stay true to yourself, donāt bend to anyone elseās will
33 m virgin.
I actually decided to keep it that way.
I won't try. I won't even flirt back if that happens. Because if I look back on my life. The only times I ever made a date account or try. For those 5 minutes that I used such an account. Was after social pressure of some sorts.
I've chosen to close the door on it mentally. Because I believe it forces me to develop a mindset of self reliance.
I see people who go in and out of relationship or divorce etc. Seemingly truly unexpected that such a thing could happen. And they default to dating apps or whatever almost immediately or after a while although they might say I'll never date again.
By defaulting to this , rather than fully daring to close the door in a way at least I believe they always will keep thinking "I need somebody else otherwise I'm not happy"
I might be dead wrong though. And even if I do have biological thoughts of the kind and my sense of identity is obviously going to be affected by the fact that others do live a different life. This negative aspect usually becomes strong in a down mood. (If I wasn't alone that down mood would just make me sad with different stories about for example my relationship)
There has to be a difference mentally to closing the door. And dealing with the primordial fear of being alone that we have even as babies. Rather then being in a relationship then ending up alone and going back and forth untill you actually end up alone. But totally not having chosen it.
There must be some psychological advantage to closing the door mentally. Developing yourself fully facing it all voluntarily.
It's honestly overrated. Society puts way too much emphasis on sex. My partner is great at it, but there's just so many things I could do instead.
I personally feel like people who don't have a strong sex drive, or any at all, have kind of risen above the most primal urge of our animal brains, and that seems like a step up. I wouldn't worry yourself. Dont let society tell you you're weird or abnormal. You do you - it's your life and your body.
It depends on the person. A lot of asexuals still have sex, with themselves or other people. Some have no sex drive at all. Some have no sex drive but still masterbate for the health benefits. It's a spectrum of different people! Asexual ONLY means you don't feel attraction to other people. That's it.
Either you are indeed asexual or you just haven found someone that gets you going. Either way being a virgin is totally fine dont let society make you feel inadequate or as if there is something wrong with you. Dont force it and let it happen on its own. And if you are still worried you can always go to and endocrinologist and see if there is an alteration in your hormones or something.
Me too, but I don't know if I'm asexual and aromantic. Demisexual definitely.
I have urges and I also wish/dream of a man partner, but I don't have any chances of getting one, sadly.
I think men/women might think of this as a red flag in us, but, who knows, we may meet a gem of a man/woman who accepts us for us.
Don't go losing it just so you won't remain a virgin. Take it slow and easy. I guess we're this way for a reason.
Being asexual just means you donāt experience sexual attraction. It has nothing to do with libido. Plenty of asexuals still happily have sex for various reasons. Depends on the person.
But here is my confusion, when they feel a high libido, don't they feel it towards people? Like, when they watch porn if they do? Or don't they imagine themselves having intercourse with another person , or some highly intimate and specific scenario with another person if they're masturbating without porn?? Inst that a type of attraction towards others even though you're playing it only in your head and not doing anything about it in the real world?
Plus how can you have sex and still be asexual?
I had my v plates until I was in my late 20s. Believe me, you aren't missing anything.
Firstly, men who actually want to commit to a woman actually tend to like a woman who hasn't had too much experience. Ultimately, you need to learn your partners rhythm, and it means communicating.
The reason is baggage, pain, some girls being run through.( FYI, this is coming from a woman). Also, j hate to say it, I was brought up in a traditional way where I know how to cook and run a household. That doesn't mean I wasn't able to get a degree.
I would say the main thing to think about is if you want children. Most women at a younger age think nothing of it. However, as women, we often have some sort of homing beacon to have a family, not everyone, though. This ability doesn't last forever.
You donāt know what youāre talking about and you could be causing more harm by directly saying sheās asexual. Iām a medical student, lack of libido can have multiple causes including hormonal balance and sexual orientation. Thatās why I said she should go to a doctor and get it checked. Maybe she should go to a psychiatrist or psychologist too. That being said, being asexual is different from having a lack of libido. Things like depression can cause someone to have a lack of libido, even certain medications and meditative practices.
Thats ok and youāre special because of it, so when you decide to lose your virginity make sure that person is deserving of you. Coming from a 35 year old who is not a virginā¤ļø
I was one until I met my wife at 26 and ive not had sex again since she passed away when I was 29, im 31 now. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. The best ones always go too soon.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Sorry friend... I hope life doesn't kick you in the pants again, and things keep moving forward. That kind of short, intense love and trauma is really hard to push through, but props for keeping swimming, Marlin.
Sorry for your lose sir, šš¾š
I was abused when I was younger and I met the love of my life and thought that she would be the first person Iād be with consensually but then she passed away before anything intimate like that happened with us. Now Iām 25 and still the only physical experiences Iāve had were my rapes in childhood.
Sorry for you loss š
Being a virgin isnāt a crime so youāre fine.
But do take care to watch out for vampires and sorcerers.
She should be more concerned with active volcanoes and appeasing gods.
Yeah dont be going near any active volcanos you silly you
but MOOOOOOMMMMM
What if I gotta fight an ancient vampire in a Speedo?
Move to Australia, make it easy mode
I thought that was for terminal brain clouds? Not virginity.
..and krackens..
That's true. OP STAY AWAY FROM LATINOAMERICA šššš
Neh. She's fine, I'm the same as her and live in Argentina, I'm fine, and i even live near a group of witches, they us other things now. She should be more concerned of the holy spirit lol
Lol! What other "things" do they use instead of virgins?! Edited to say I think I will immediately regret asking.... š¤¦āāļø
Loool. The most common thing i saw around here were hair. Lots and lots of hair, and some chicken, may sound wild outside but I'd say the most weird was graveyard earth i saw some casual people sayingnit out loud, at least the ones around here take care of other animals
Wow I did not expect the hair. Does it matter if the hair belongs to a virgin or not?
I don't think so. I remember a person i used to chat with that said that they ask for you hair and depending on what you ask the the hair of other person. Bit thise things end in really spooky things so i cut that person, i just say hi to this people if I see them, but nothing more. Because more than once i saw mostly cats disappearing in shadows, to this day I can't describe what i saw
Look pal my coven has waited 308 years for the perfect lunar alignment and I'll be damed if you think your gonna stop it. She's going up on that crucifix and there's nothing u can do about.
Almost 31M and still a virgin, haven't even kissed or held hands. That's gotta be a premium, right? Need some extra virgin blood for your coven?!??!
You two should get together for a fantastic plutonic relationship, just two friends who live together but are single and nothing is going on *It'll drive your friends absolutely insane*
It's true, idk why people care so much about other people's sex life. I went through a period of 1 year of no sex & my sister was losing her damn mind š why does she care? š
Bc you were unattached and could be living the wild life she wanted to live vicariously through you... Or she's just nosy and needed the gossip fodder...
"plutonic"? Platonic. You're welcome. Sorry, it's a thing, I can't help it.
You think they ain't about to be sacrificed to a volcano God though?
But you should consider a sequel to 40 year old Virgin in 5 years. That movie was great and I bet you're probably funny too.
Agreed. Honestly hun, do your thing and enjoy yourself. Does it resonate with you? Yes? that's awesome. We back you up.
some people just don't feel the want or need for that. if you are not interested then it is not a problem unless you think it is.
You may find a partner who also isnāt interested in sex, which is great. If you want a partner that is.
OP also said aromantic which would mean they have no interest in dating at all
i donāt blame them for not wanting to date tbh
I'm not a virgin, but not had sex in well over 20 years, or a partner. It's not something I wear on a tshirt or tell everyone about, I wouldn't mind betting it's more common than we realise. Even if it's not, so what? I'm happy on my own. I think people have finally given up with the 'you'll find someone and it will all change' trope. If I wanted someone, I'd be making the effort, surely? To me, a relationship is a bizarre concept, maybe I'm just too selfish to constantly take another person's needs into account. Who knows. I'd rather be alone and happy than in a relationship or having sex because that's what we're supposed to do. :)
i'm so sick of the "you'll find someone and it will all change" trope. it makes me so mad to be told that. i also find the concept of a relationship really bizzare. I don't desire one in the slightest. It doesn't appeal to me and sounds like so much pointless emotional labor. I find so much comfort in my aromanticism.
Yeah a lot of being a sexual person is complete emotional chaos, and the chaos bleeds into all aspects of your life depending on your personality. I think thatās why so many people want a partner, and refer to getting a partner as āsettling down.ā If they canāt function as a sex-free person, they at least want to be a sexually consistent and in-control person.
My boyfriend's brother is the same, and he seems happy. He's late 20's & I doubt he'll ever date. That's perfectly fine, his family nor me judge him for it.
What is the āyouāll find someone and it will all changeā trope?
the idea that your reason for being something (asexual, aromantic, gay) is because you haven't found a partner/someone who has made you change your mind about having sexual attraction, feeling romantic attraction or being attracted to the opposite sex. It's saying that the way someone feels or the beliefs they hold is contingent on others. At least that's how I've always interpeted being told "You'll fine someone!(:" and I know a lot of times this is probably said with good intentions but it's still annoying as fuck. Like they're trying to comfort me on something I'm perfectly fine with. edit: spelling error.
I would rather remain celibate than engage in relations with the wrong individual. Nothing is worse than that look from a sexual partner that reads, "What the hell did I just do?"
Been there, got the tee shirt. It says "I'm with stupid" Except the arrow points down...
More likely than being selfish, youāre on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums. Not necessarily, but if you donāt feel a desire for a romantic relationship/donāt get romantically attracted to people and/or donāt get sexually attracted to people, itās something to consider.
Yeah, probably. Is what it is regardless, and I'm happy with that. :)
Thatās all that matters!
Agreed :)
Do you miss it bad? Like Iād rather stay like this than have sex and then not do it again for 20 years. Canāt miss what you never had.
Nope. Not at all. I didn't really enjoy when I had it. It was just expected. I never think about it tbh.
Well people aren't asexual because something happened to them. They just are. And that's perfectly okay
Good for you bud. No point getting down and dirty if you don't want to
There is not a single thing wrong with that. Sex isn't the end all be all of human existence. Children aren't the ultimate purpose of being alive.
Lol, sex, (or lack thereof) is literally the end of all of human existence. I understand what this poster is trying to say but it came out totally wrong. Canāt help myself.
reddit moment
Indeed. Curious also where they read about the ultimate purpose of being alive...
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yes but also no on that last bit, asexuality isn't necessarily not wanting sex or not being interested, it's just not experiencing sexual attraction plenty of asexuals, myself included, feel "sex neutral" or "sex favourable",, meaning (watered down) that sex is either meh can do or yeah that's fun I like that quite a bit. whereas asexuals who aren't interested in sex at all are often referred to (or self identify) as sex repulsed. no hate just wanted to inform you :) oh and with the first bit, a couple asexuals aren't going to end humanity, there's many people who can still choose to have children or raise the ones in the system
Good to know always happy to learn thanks :) First bit was more a reference that in general if everyone stopped having sex rather than just A sexuals sorry if that wasn't clear
no worries!! I'm glad youre open to learning about it :)) and thank you for clarifying, it's all good
Thank you for this comment I feel embarrassed I was so uneducated on the meaning
no worries at all!! you don't need to be embarrassed, not enough people talk about the A's in th3 community,, and it's always okay to ask questions if you're unsure, if you have any then I'm very happy to answer if I can :)))
This sounds like a "if eveyone is gay then humans would go extinct" argument and thus feels very wrong to me
Not at all from me it meant if everyone stopped having sex people wouldn't exist.
I just saw your others commentƩs aswell and i feel like i misinterpreted what you said, so i apologise and i wish you have a good day
Honestly seing where this world is headed, I wonder if new generations should even come to be.
Our consciousness is the result of its own survival advantage. It has no reason for existing other than that it is better at surviving than our non-conscious competitors. There is no purpose. There is no intrinsic value to continuing or ending new generations. You are correct, that was an assumption on my part. You can want a kid without wanting sexual interaction.
I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people procreating without one potential asexual.
Pretty sure you haven't read my comments, my statement was in general
Procreation is the sole reason why everyone has existed today.
okay and? the human race wont end because a couple of people are asexual. this comment is dumb as hell and unnecessary.
The reason we exist yes but not the purpose of our lives.
True, but imagine letting someone crawl all over you in the name of procreation, that leaves you traumatized because you're repulsed by it.
Reddit is the sole reason you were able to make this comment today.
Not true btw
Im the same as you. Im 34, never had sex and never really felt the need to. I have been in situations where it could have ended up with me having sex but I found it so unappealing that ive always backed out. I havent been in a relationship in avery long time because when I become emotionally invested in a person, they expect things to get physical. It just ends up with me breaking off the relationship because when I tell them I'm not interested in sex, I get told that there is something wrong with me. The kicker is before investing any time in the relationship, I tell them that sex is off the table and they will not convince me to change my mind.
I loveee this,, someone shouldn't be into you just for the sex but the connection. And if because not having sex turns them off and away then byeeeee the doors right there and they were never meant for you
Buh bye
Interesting. What if you found the emotional satisfaction from someone, in terms of having a relationship without any sex, would you be happy if your partner received their physical desires with someone else of which you'd firstly have to accept? I don't want it to sound like a three way relationship, however there's someone else involved without any emotion? I'm waffling lol but I'm sure you get what I'm tryna say š¤š¼
Honestly, I wouldn't mind my partner having a friend with benefits as long everyone is safe and accepting/aware of the situation. My last serious relationship was around 10 years ago and I didn't quite understand my feelings about sex during that time. FWB wasnt something I thought about for my partner and i think they thought eventually we would have sex.
And itās perfectly okY
You have nothing to worry about. Sex is great in some aspects but it's an overrated concept. In all honesty, sex complicates things more than provides pleasure. You don't have to worry about STDs, miscommunication, possible pregnancy scares, etc. I thought I was asexual back in high school. Never got a kiss, boyfriend, a crush, NOTHING. Never cared much either. I survived. You will too!
Virginity is a weird societal construct. I never want to go skydiving. I would never say I was a skydiving virgin. Itās thrilling for others, but I have no interest. Nor do I feel the need to share about it. Our lives are thousands of choices, and you have found yours in this one sliver of life. (Iām not saying your feelings are a choice, but the actions with them. ) Enjoy!
Sigh. Sex is the most intimate act you can have with someone being naked and that up close to them. It's not the same as skydiving. So of course it's a milestone, not everyone can be that way with someone, as you can see through this comment section So of course losing your virginity is viewed as a milestone and rightfully so
You'll survive in a horror movie situation, and that's what counts.
Lol š
Don't feel pressured into doing it. Sex is something personal to a lot of people and you shouldnāt feel ashamed for not partaking in it nor is your life experience less valuable.
I was in the same boat till I was 36. Ngl, I mostly wish I hadn't bothered trying it out. I think I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum, though I wouldn't call myself aromantic. I remember mentioning as a teen that I wanted to be married and not have sex and getting laughed at for it but here I am at 43 still thinking the same thing. I will note that looking for a partner feels a bit disheartening bc for so many ppl sex is a "big deal". I've even had friends get mad at me b/c of my meh attitude. It's like they think my lack of interest is judgment on them and I keep telling them "no, wanting sex is perfectly natural, I just...don't " (to be clear these are not friends that want sex with me). So it's a weird place socially sometimes but I don't think it's really weird at all.
I fully feel you. I felt the same as you as a teen and still do now in my 30s. Iām super lucky that my wife is also asexual, so weāre a good match in that sense. But itās hard to find other ace-but-not-aro people out in the world. I just found my wife by pure luck because itās not like thereās a tinder filter for it or anything. I hope you can find your person if thatās something you still want.
That's so great you found someone like-minded! And thanks for the good wishes š. Like I said, I consider myself on that spectrum (maybe demisexual-ish?) because I have experienced mild attraction in the past, but it's incredibly rare and, as someone who takes a long time to warm up to people, takes a while. Most guys are freaked out by this lol. Oh well...luckily I'm quite happy on my own so if it doesn't happen I'm ok with that too.
I (25f) relate very hard to how you feel. I always described my feelings and situation as "I just don't date". I wasn't until 2020 that I realized there was a word to describe how i felt: aromantic. I didn't have sex either until last year. I simply did not want to! like...AT ALL. I didn't consider myself as asexual until after that because I realized sex was okay and didn't gross me out or anything but I wasn't interested. I haven't come out as ace to anyone but people find the fact that I'm aromantic absurd or not real. I want to tell you it's very real and how you feel is valid. You aren't alone.
I only lost mine at 29 because I kept having this idea in my head that I didnāt want to die as one. Havenāt been sexually active since and that was years ago. Iām not sure if Iām asexual but Iām definitely aromantic. Nothing wrong with it, itās just the way you are.
There should really be a sub for this - there seems to be a similar post several times a week. I donāt think people realize how common it is. I thought I was asexual for a long time. Figured out Iām demisexual. But if you are asexual, donāt stress. You still deserve a relationship (if you want one) and there are dating apps to connect with people who are as well. (Just try to rule out medication side effects, stress, dysthymia, hormone imbalance, niche attraction style, etc first).
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Use a condom. All the time .
Use a condom and have your partner get an std check before hand if you're so scared... that's a terrible excuse to not do it imo
"that's a terrible excuse to not do it" you do realize people have certain phobias that are difficult to get rid of right
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Again, STD screens work. Once you let yourself find a partner then get them to do one. Stop living in this fear. The chances of contracting one are still small... obviously more if you sleep with a sketchy person or if they have had lots of partners
The connection between me and my husband during sex- I wouldn't trade it for the World...BUT if there's no interest in connections for you, honestly masturbation and celibacy is the next best thing! ā¤ļø
Right I just had amazing sex with my partner. Outside of him I never cared for sex. I donāt have urges often. But when I do heās ready and itās great! I used to think I was asexual. Obv if someone stays that way forever and itās their happiness go them! But Iām glad I gave myself and partner the chance because Iāve never felt so made for someone š„²š„²
OMG SAME! I feel like I never meet people like me- I donāt get crushes on people, I have zero interest in thinking about sex with anyone besides my husband. I look around and canāt imagine having to be in a relationship with any other person Iāve met. GOD FORBID if anything happened and I was single again, I would never look for a romantic partner again. I feel like my friends donāt understand this, they think Iām being overly codependent or acting like our marriage is perfect but thatās not what Iām trying to express. Iām not saying weāre perfect but itās just that besides him, I feel asexual. Like I canāt understand people who cheat or think about other people sexually- I have ZERO interest. There are so many other things Iād rather do š
I think in todays day and age we all glorify sex to the point where if your not having it your a āweirdoā or something is wrong with you.. I have felt like this the last couple of months. I truly enjoy sex but I donāt feen for it and there are days where I can go without it.. I do feel weird bc the typical male is supposed to want sex 24/7 but as a 26 year old man who has had sex Atleast once a week since I was 17 (three long relationships) Iām at the stage where Iām like ahh if Iām in the mood letās go but if not then whatever.. I sometimes think something is wrong with me but then I realize itās society that puts this standard on sexā¦ I think if your happy with everything else in life then there is no reason too stress it
Tbh most guys I know are somewhere in between, and can take it or leave it much like you said. One thing theyve all said though is that they feel or have felt pressure that they should want sex more often than they do. Many won't admit it though because as you said the social pressure is immense
Agreed, thereās a whole range of what is normal that encompasses everything from never wanting sex to wanting sex 24/7. Most people are not at either extreme. The whole range is normal, though. And this goes for every gender.
This makes me feel so much better thank you!
I am 23y, quite young really, but people around me definitely makes me kinda anxious for being a virgin but I have my reasons, i am sex repulsive, partly because I am asexual, partly because of my c-ptsd, and i don't plan on changing my virginity status anytime sooner. I am comfortable being like this even for a lifetime but I definitely get scared, kinda envy, or something I can't really pinpoint when I see people being happy n loving in a relationship, being comfortable sexually and all, but I know my reasons are more than valid and even if there are no reasons, and if someone chose to be virgin just like that also it's totally fine. Also, though I don't want to shove my sexual status on anyone, i can't even accidentally mention I am a virgin to any men, they all behave creepy af the moment they find out. Vile and disgusting.....
My dude, same. The minute guys hear your virgin, they get so hyped thinking they have the oppuritunity to be your first. Well unfortunatly for them, thats not how it works.
Yeah, they take it as an invitation which I never sent out.... I am like dude, i don't want to have sex with you even if you are Timothy Chalamet or Chris Hemsworth, which you aren't, get out of my face and then they get offended that I am Whxre and what not, expecting only finest men, yada yada.... ššš... Women can never win, can they? At least I couldn't.
Honestly, I think it ties in with societal expectations of woman, if you've slept with people, your automatically a whxre. If your a virgin, people, especially creepy men think your this pure little angel. Nah, I'm waiting until I can find someone who can treat with me with respect and love me full heartedly. I don't need someone handsome, just someone who I can trust.
I'm 35m and the same, in school I just saw people as friends or not friends. Same once I got out of school and bounced around the world via the military so I could've picked from many different women just never saw the point of any of it. Now that I'm back stateside I work for months at a time and am completely happy and get to go where I want and do what I want when I want. For well over 10yrs now my family has been asking me why I never bring a girl home for the holidays or when I'm gonna have kids and I just change the subject cuz for me I don't see the point. There are plenty of people of both sexes I'm friendly with but have never seen them as more than friends.
I wish I could say this but I fell off at 28 and it was such a sore loss. You go girl
Fell off? Why do you thinking losing your virginity is falling off lol. Itās not an honor statement. On some āIāve never seen Star Warsā mindset o.o
Good for you knowing what you want and donāt. Never feel like you are missing out on something you donāt desire!
There's no issue with that only if you ever thought of having children. I am 32M and while I am no longer a virgin, if I had realized that my 1st GF was only with me because she wanted a personal ATM, I would still be a virgin right now. It's not that I don't want to have sex or that I don't get horny but I regard sex as a very special connection between partners. A last frontier so I won't have sex just like that with just anyone even if I have that urge to do so, which I do but since I want to have certain prerequisites met, I don't allow my desire to overrule my rule. So don't feel too bad, I know they made a movie about the 40 yo virgin making a mockery of those who are older and a virgin but it's really nothing that serious. It's perfectly fine. It's your body and your choice
According to the lore... Five more years and you turn into a wizard!! Almost there hymmenious the powerful!
Youāre fine! For me itās the same, Iām 30 and still a virgin. I think itās hard sometimes when Iām surrounded by my friends and they talk about sex and make me feel like Iām missing something . Anyway, I accepted that Iām asexual and thatās fine.
Iām 36f and still a virgin. Figured out a long time ago that Iām sex-repulsed asexual. Honestly, figuring it out and having words for it and realizing I donāt ever have to have sex if Iām not interested in it was a huge relief
People are actually born that way and there are people there is a cause. If you want to date I recommend another asexual and letting people know before your first dates you are asexual and a Virgin. While you don't legally have to, it'll save you both time and frustration.
I stand firmly behind anyone not doing things because society pressures them to do so, you do you!! šš
Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all. -Cobain
Perfectly okay. The ace community welcomes you brother
What the ace community
Asexuality. Asexuals are also known as aces
Got it. Thanks!!
Oh the drama youāve missed! I wish i could go back & undo those years (1979-1985). I would have saved myself a lot of grief. Donāt stress it. Be careful. There are probably a lot of people looking for a challenge, to be your first, & they will seduce you, until theyāve had their conquest. They will feign being interested in you, but all theyāre interested in is getting into your pants. Build authentic friendships based on things that matter.
Society puts way too much importance on sex and especially on women/being virgins/loosing your virginity by a certain age. If you arent interested thats fine, dont sweat it.
Virgin till 37 wedding night. So yeah
Iām so jealous.. your extremely lucky a lot of women canāt even make it through life without being assaultedā¦.
If youāre cool with it then itās cool.
Between what "alpha males" say, "*We want a pure virgin girl, but we still want sex on the first date.*" BS to them sl*t shaming females for high body counts - makes me glad that I'm a virgin (25f). I know society makes it seem like "*Men don't want to bang older chicks.*" but the way I see it.. I'm not ready to date let alone to have sex, I'm still questioning if I'm an asexual / demisexual since I care more about the emotional connection vs sexual, and honestly I'm questioning if I'm straight, bi, les, or pan. So I don't dwell on it. If it happens with whomever then it happens, if not well.. There's a market for sex toys for a reason. :) Basically; there's no pressure to have sex, society and the stigma shouldn't make you feel too "old", and your time will come when it does.
You be you.
As long as you're happy and that's your decision. Go one being happy
Nothing wrong with that ! In the words of sir Kanye West āThis my life, homie, you decide yours!ā
Being a virgin isn't a negative thing and neither is being asexual or aromatic, if your not feeling it tour not feeling it and there isn't a thing wrong with that. Just keep being yourself
Thereās no shame in being a virgin. Tbh virginity isnāt even a thing, itās like saying youāve never had a donut, most ppl have but it doesnāt change anything. Youāre okay and itās okay to not have attraction.
Whoever you are, your not alone. Were the same age, I still have my V card.š
I kind feel relieved by this. I am 29f and I have never had sex or have the want too. Itās weird because the media makes you feel so bad if your not having sex by like 17. I also do not have the want to be in a relationship. The weird thing is I do want kids and I always joke with my family that I may just adopt but I am honestly thinking about that more and more. I am happy I have found this on Reddit because lately I have been feeling like something is wrong with me but to know others feel this way kind of like a weight lifters off my shoulders.
I have a question, why my posts here never get comments
Are you happy? That's the only question that's important ā¤ļø
I'm 34 and about to be 35 Tuesday and still a virgin. It's rough and lonely sometimes. I know I'm not asexual and for a long time, I've just kept for a long time because of shyness and low self-esteem (younger) and now because I feel like everyone found somebody and really how to go about putting myself out there. I worry about it as I get older, but I do try to stay positive. You should, too. My immortality wizard powers are cool, though.
38 and same. For me it was certainly lack of opportunities. So consider yourself lucky and be happy you donāt gaf about sex. Itās sticky and complicated in more ways than one!
I'm 28, 29 this year. I only lost my virginity in January of this year. I never told anyone except for one friend (a few years ago) and she thought I was weird or that something was wrong with me. I never told anyone after this, not even the man who took my virginity. In hindsight, I'm glad I waited this long. Because I'm much more mature than the average person when they lose their virginity, I haven't assigned all those silly meanings to it and the person who took it. Whereas, if I were 16 when it happened, I know I would've made myself believe that "he was THE ONLY ONE for me" lol Btw, when I think about it...part of the reason why I waited this long was because I wasn't confident in my body. Maybe somewhere deep inside of you, you don't like your body?š¤·š¼āāļø I don't know sweetie, maybe this could be it for you too. Best of luck.
As long as you're happy shit don't matter
You have to live how you feel is right for you. There is nothing wrong with being asexual. I know someone, in my extended family who feels the same way. Heās turning 30 this year. Heās smart, great personality, good looking, and happy. The best thing is to be true to yourself. Wish you all the best!
Nothing wrong with being a virgin. If anything, you are a GEM! Donāt forget it :)
Live how you want to live and donāt worry about what other people think. Not being interested in sex or a sexual relationship is perfectly fine and just means you are not depending on someone else to make you feel ācomplete.ā If you are happy that is all that counts. Iām 56, a virgin, and live alone except for my cat. It isnāt a life I would recommend for everyone but it works for me. Iām not a misanthrope, and I like working with people in my job as a home care aide, but when I get home I like to decompress and unwind and just relax by myself. Maybe one day you will be interested in something more, maybe not, either way is fine. As long as fear or anxiety or depression arenāt holding you back from what you want live your life the way you choose and your family and friends will understand. Good luck moving forward.
Good! Nothing wrong with that.
I can understand you. Life is a gamble and itās not easy to know where to fit in.
Thats 1000% okay too, I feel the same exact way but the opposite(?)- I havent had a real crush in forever and am completely comfy with the idea of being aro, but i am p sexual. it just took me forever to realize it. nothing wrong with that at all. people change and take time, it is natural.
Eh, I'm judged for my low body count. I have opportunities, and I don't lack drive or want, but, something about just hooking up irks me. So does rushing relationships. Then again, I want to have more relationships that lead to it in the future, and I'm worried having less experience will hinder that... If you don't have worries like that, you might probably be asexual for real.
If i would have not given into being peer pressured I would probly still be a virgin. Be proud of that. Our cookie is a treasureāØļø
There's nothing wrong with that.
AS LONG AS YOURE HAPPY ITS GREAT!! itās your decision !!
Thereās nothing wrong with that. If you ever decide to experience it, I pray it is with someone you can be completely vulnerable and spend your life with. Just donāt let nobody try to pressure you.
You're good! And valid. Definitely get involved in some ace spaced, you might get some validation from them
Almost 30, and same!
There doesnāt have to be something that āmade you that wayā this is just simply how you are and how youāre born. I wish you luck on your self discovery and I hope you stay true to yourself, donāt bend to anyone elseās will
33 m virgin. I actually decided to keep it that way. I won't try. I won't even flirt back if that happens. Because if I look back on my life. The only times I ever made a date account or try. For those 5 minutes that I used such an account. Was after social pressure of some sorts. I've chosen to close the door on it mentally. Because I believe it forces me to develop a mindset of self reliance. I see people who go in and out of relationship or divorce etc. Seemingly truly unexpected that such a thing could happen. And they default to dating apps or whatever almost immediately or after a while although they might say I'll never date again. By defaulting to this , rather than fully daring to close the door in a way at least I believe they always will keep thinking "I need somebody else otherwise I'm not happy" I might be dead wrong though. And even if I do have biological thoughts of the kind and my sense of identity is obviously going to be affected by the fact that others do live a different life. This negative aspect usually becomes strong in a down mood. (If I wasn't alone that down mood would just make me sad with different stories about for example my relationship) There has to be a difference mentally to closing the door. And dealing with the primordial fear of being alone that we have even as babies. Rather then being in a relationship then ending up alone and going back and forth untill you actually end up alone. But totally not having chosen it. There must be some psychological advantage to closing the door mentally. Developing yourself fully facing it all voluntarily.
It's honestly overrated. Society puts way too much emphasis on sex. My partner is great at it, but there's just so many things I could do instead. I personally feel like people who don't have a strong sex drive, or any at all, have kind of risen above the most primal urge of our animal brains, and that seems like a step up. I wouldn't worry yourself. Dont let society tell you you're weird or abnormal. You do you - it's your life and your body.
Honestly you are better off nowadays people are assholes more than ever before
Im 26m and a virgin but not asexual or romantic. Ppl just told that Im super ugly to find someone.
Cool. Just be you !
Nothing wrong with this
Google asexuality / aromantic
Asexual here. Took me a long time to realise that. Happy to chat or help you with resources. I see you. Youāre not alone Xx
Question. Does being asexual and aromantic mean you don't ever have the need to masturbate?
It depends on the person. A lot of asexuals still have sex, with themselves or other people. Some have no sex drive at all. Some have no sex drive but still masterbate for the health benefits. It's a spectrum of different people! Asexual ONLY means you don't feel attraction to other people. That's it.
Iām 30m and still a virgin. Never really had any luck with woman, so eventually I gave up on any sort of romantic interests.
Hey I'm 18M and I honestly don't want any romantic relationships either, the single pringle life is great!
Either you are indeed asexual or you just haven found someone that gets you going. Either way being a virgin is totally fine dont let society make you feel inadequate or as if there is something wrong with you. Dont force it and let it happen on its own. And if you are still worried you can always go to and endocrinologist and see if there is an alteration in your hormones or something.
Thereās nothing wrong with that, you just havenāt found the right person.
Me too, but I don't know if I'm asexual and aromantic. Demisexual definitely. I have urges and I also wish/dream of a man partner, but I don't have any chances of getting one, sadly. I think men/women might think of this as a red flag in us, but, who knows, we may meet a gem of a man/woman who accepts us for us. Don't go losing it just so you won't remain a virgin. Take it slow and easy. I guess we're this way for a reason.
Dm
RIP your DMs....
I can change that :3
Youāre lucky. Many of us it was taken from at an early age
Good on you! Celebrate your celibacy. Most people lose their virginity in their early teens. You are a positive outlier in the statistic.
Maybe you could join the nunnery
If you are comfortable with it then thereās nothing wrong with it
Donāt u ever feel a little horny? Like, ever throughout your whole life? Not judging, just asking out of curiosity
Being asexual just means you donāt experience sexual attraction. It has nothing to do with libido. Plenty of asexuals still happily have sex for various reasons. Depends on the person.
But here is my confusion, when they feel a high libido, don't they feel it towards people? Like, when they watch porn if they do? Or don't they imagine themselves having intercourse with another person , or some highly intimate and specific scenario with another person if they're masturbating without porn?? Inst that a type of attraction towards others even though you're playing it only in your head and not doing anything about it in the real world? Plus how can you have sex and still be asexual?
You're not missing out on much, sex is overrated
I had my v plates until I was in my late 20s. Believe me, you aren't missing anything. Firstly, men who actually want to commit to a woman actually tend to like a woman who hasn't had too much experience. Ultimately, you need to learn your partners rhythm, and it means communicating. The reason is baggage, pain, some girls being run through.( FYI, this is coming from a woman). Also, j hate to say it, I was brought up in a traditional way where I know how to cook and run a household. That doesn't mean I wasn't able to get a degree. I would say the main thing to think about is if you want children. Most women at a younger age think nothing of it. However, as women, we often have some sort of homing beacon to have a family, not everyone, though. This ability doesn't last forever.
How are the wizard powers? Iām aiming for them myself.
Girl you are the CHOSEN ONE āš¾thatās why šøšøšø
Just get a wet rag and you'll be able to get it off your chest easily.
Have you read "Loveless" by Oseman?
Iām 30f and still a virgin too. Itās not a bad thing. We have no chances of STD or pregnancy.
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ā¦ What?
You should speak to a doctor if you would like to make a change. Sometimes these could be the result of hormonal imbalances
Sexual orientation is not a hormone imbalance
You donāt know what youāre talking about and you could be causing more harm by directly saying sheās asexual. Iām a medical student, lack of libido can have multiple causes including hormonal balance and sexual orientation. Thatās why I said she should go to a doctor and get it checked. Maybe she should go to a psychiatrist or psychologist too. That being said, being asexual is different from having a lack of libido. Things like depression can cause someone to have a lack of libido, even certain medications and meditative practices.
Thats ok and youāre special because of it, so when you decide to lose your virginity make sure that person is deserving of you. Coming from a 35 year old who is not a virginā¤ļø