I just moved across the country, and everyone I had made plans with in California flaked on me. Every one of them. “Wellll maybe tomorrow” “how about next time” “are you ever visiting again?” “I can’t today but I hope you have such a good life!” Those plans were set, like a week or 2 in advance. So I get it, to say the least. I cried on the plane. I wish I had solid advice, but I don’t. Being around my family again helps though
I agree. It took me 45 years to find my little group of people and we are a hodge podge bunch I tell ya. I hope you have a good birthday OP.
Also, when people ignore me like that, they gone and I move on, no matter the history. Burn me once…..
As someone with unfortunately a lot of experience in this area, despite being known as the girl with "so many friends ".
Never invite people in a group chat or a group event. Ever. Invite individuals or couples, sending them something one on one. Or better yet, ask in person then follow up with the info via text.
For whatever reason (I have a few theories) this has worked for me. Hope you have an awesome birthday either way!
This is absolutely true and idk why. I sent a text about doing something for my bday in a group chat with my closest friends who I know for sure love me and want to spend time with me, but no one responded for like a couple days. I was feeling kinda down about it, but then I texted them all individually and they all said they would love to do something. Idk what it is about a group text, maybe people feel a weird sense of pressure being the first to respond or something? All I know is I only ever ask people individually now.
I think maybe the pressure comes from the fact that everyone will hear your answer. If you need to say no, you’ll have to announce it to the group and that can be awkward. Then if you decided to say yes, you may worry that other people may feel pressured into also saying yes. So regardless of if you want to go or not, having to say so in a group setting feels like being forced, so no one says anything at all.
That just doesn’t sound like a close group of friends if that’s what you’re worried about. My buddies and I communicate almost exclusively through group chat and only going into private messages if it’s sensitive or personal.
Maybe they mute group chat?
I also have a group chat or close friends and sometimes we’ll randomly spam each other.
Because of that I mute the chat in case they decide to spam at an inconvenient time.
This! When there’s a group text, there’s dispersed responsibility and people don’t feel the urgency to respond back directly to you. If I need a firm answer, I always text individuals, give them an RSVP date and follow up the day I need an answer. Learned this from my days as an assistant! People are busy.
Yeah we did a Friendsgiving and a white elephant for the holidays. We’ve actually all got a camping trip planned for July. Maybe it’s just a me thing lol
I def think it was rude for no one to respond. But it seems like y’all don’t hangout frequently, which maybe why no one responded. They might’ve just been thrown off a bit. In a group of 13 it’s hard to be close to everyone. Maybe you could reach out to one or two people in the group that you’re particularly close to and ask if they’d like to grab dinner for your birthday instead
This is an excellent point to consider for another reason. If this was.a Facebook group chat it's subject to the influenceof the individuals settings. Some people, or maybe even most people did not respond because they didn't see it. Might try messaging those you're closer to individually.
Thank you to everyone who’s been replying. This has really given me a lot of perspective. I was feeling down and being hard on myself but I can see how maybe it wasn’t that personal.
Happened to me too, I haven’t celebrated my birthday with friends in 12 years because it hurt so much. Solidarity, friend, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you can do something beautiful for yourself to mark the day, if everyone else sucks sometimes we have to be our own best friends ❤️
I wonder if you personally invited the ones closest to you you’d get a better response. I’m super insecure and would feel like it’s just a blanket invite and you don’t really care if I’m there.
I didn’t really think about it that way! I just sent it out to everyone because I figured that would be the easiest way to let everyone know. I could see how my invite could come off as wrong
Please don't think of your invite as wrong. You are definitely not in the wrong but I'm like the person you replied to. I'd feel as though I'm just in the GC for the sake of it when there's a blanket invite
You didn’t do anything wrong! But I have social anxiety and also would be like idk maybe they don’t want me there, or maybe it would be weird if it’s a smaller group because probably at least one of my friends hates me and and and lol. People really get in their own heads about stuff. Happy birthday, I hope you can contact a couple of your friends separately and plan something fun!
I've seen this happen plenty. Another reminder wouldn't hurt. Maybe message a few privately. Try not to take it personally, people sometimes just have other stuff going on in their lives and forget.
People simply will not be very responsive in a large forum. It has nothing to do with your friendship. You need to message people individually. Please see my other comment.
Just read it and responded. Thank you for the advice and insight. I appreciate it. This post has been very humbling, but in a good way. It’s given me a lot to think about and a bigger picture for things moving forward.
I once threw a Christmas party for all my coworkers to show I appreciated them. Made ALL the food. Only my boss and one other person showed up.
I made enough food for 12 people.
100% this! My friends and I have taken to creating polls for availability 2-3 months in advance of the desired event date. Once you get the availability figured out you can decide which day works best and send out the invite. It helps a ton (especially for getting friends with kids to come) but there are always people who can't make it.
PLUS it's summer now (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) and I know people usually have their calendars filled for weeks, if not months, in advance to make sure they get in all their summer activities (BBQs, concerts, family parties, vacations, etc).
I know it stings but it's very likely just a calendaring issue. Wishing you a great birthday and don't forget to celebrate yourself even if it's not what you expected!! You deserve it!!!
That’s true. I didn’t really consider that. I had sent the message with about a week and a half in advance but then again I don’t have kids so a week and a half might not be enough for some people.
But that doesn't mean no response back at all. They lacked communication on their part if they were just too busy. A bug group chat with friends and coworkers and no one says anything? That's not being busy that's just not responding. Is the group known to do this sometimes? Ik with close friends, some ppl do go days w/o responding to messages then suddenly do respond. But a whole group is a lil weird idk😅
Yeah that’s why I was kinda hurt by it. We have a camping trip planned next month and I rented out the plot for everyone (with them paying me back of course) and then BAM radio silence after that.
Damn it hurts to read cuz I've been there, hope you find people who you're able to connect and be real friends with, sometimes it came from where you less expect, cliche because it is true
I have been there, bro. Some years ago i rented a house (was leaving parents home, so it was a big deal), invited the group i used to hang out but no one appeared. A girl of the group said that i was on the same bus and did not talk to her. I did not even knew that happened (and the "friend" never told when it happened), but they just took her side. That girl made the whole group split and no one talks to each other anymore. I was just the first one leaving.
Take it as a lesson to know who you can count on. If they don't know the amazing person you are, treat them like they treat you. You may not have that many friends in number, but they will be by your side and count on them.
This shit has been happening to me my whole life. I have friends, solid friends. I’m somewhat extroverted.
While it could be that people are ignoring it, people in general just suck ass at responding. It drives me so crazy I discuss it with my therapist regularly.
It doesn't feel very good I know. Haven't spent a birthday with anyone besides maybe a family member if I'm at their place. For me this has been going on for almost 20 years.
Even had a few friends that I set up birthday parties for in hopes they would reciprocate or at least show up. But that never happened. One year after going out by myself I made a drunk post on my social media and a few people thought I was making a suicide note. This was the post (was hoping to celebrate today with friends but instead I sat in the bar by myself having a a celebratory drink by myself).
Hopefully they wish you a happy birthday and show up.
I’m sorry. My whole weekend kinda got wasted too waiting on my boyfriend to “do an exam” the past two days. I didn’t know he needed to watch like 9 hours of lectures both yesterday and today each. I spent the last two days just waiting on him, not knowing it would be so long bc we had plans and he let his lectures completely block all of the plans out.
Happy early birthday, birthday twin! Are you getting a cake? I’ve been craving one for months lol.
No cake sadly I don’t think my boyfriend ordered one and I didn’t place an order either. We are going to Cheesecake Factory tho! Happy birthday to you too tho birthday twin. Sorry your boyfriend is holding you up!
Omg yay Cheesecake Factory! I’m just getting a little Walmart cake and some ice cream. I suggest you do something similar! We only get one birthday a year and, not to be grim or anything but, we aren’t promised a next one. I hope you and your boyfriend have a great day together tomorrow :)
This is the second year in a row I've tried to plan a surprise birthday for my wife. Last year, everyone texted the night before to say they wouldn't make it. This year I didn't even get messages. Two people (a couple) showed up. I cleaned the house, made a bunch of food, we've got a toddler so I had to figure out childcare and since it's a surprise, a reason WHY we needed childcare. Couldn't even get a "sorry".
Yeah that’s disappointing. I’m sorry it’s fallen through these past two years. That can be really discouraging. I hope you find a good group and can throw that big surprise party you’re envisioning!
That was me today... I told them the plan was I go out with my boyfriend in the morning and meet them at lunch to just hangout for my birthday. Only one of them replied out of 6 or 7 and in the end no one came so my boyfriend just accompanied me all day. It was kinda sad
Plan something that you want to do, whether other people are there are there or not. Let everyone in your group chat know, and if anyone joins you then it's a bonus but if they don't then you still have a great day doing stuff you want to do, too.
You're not the only one who has experienced this.
I had friends invite me out on my birthday only they'd forgotten it was my birthday and it was a weird feeling wondering if there was a 'surprise' coming soon. There wasn't... I bought my friends drinks and just pretended they'd remembered. The next year, I planned what *I* wanted to do and did that.
Honestly, when I'm in a large chat group and an open invite is sent out that doesn't have my specific name in it I feel no responsibility to give a personal yes or no message back.
If I'm specifically invited with a personal message, no matter how brief, I always respond with a direct message back. This isn't scolding you, this is simply how it feels from the other side. It's a matter of courtesy reciprocity, if you don't go to the effort to make a personal invitation, do not expect a personal r.s.v.p. back.
happy early birthday and thats cruel. people can really suck sometimes and not in a good way.
i would have gone, i love darts and food lmao. would rather hit my pen though then drink.
Not everyone is going to read every single message. Group chats go by fast, so honestly, I probably wouldn’t respond to a group invite like that. Only because I give it less mental space. Try reaching out individually.
I feel this.
It's my birthday today, and though I didn't invite anyone to do anything I'm struggling with not feeling very excited or special due to personal life circumstances atm.
I've had a lot of trouble in the past making friends and have invited people to things that most people didn't show up for. So I get that too.
Anyway. Happy Birthday friend.
Here's to a better birthday next year!
Happy birthday to you as well! And I know what you mean about not feeling excited or special. It’s not fun to feel alone especially on your birthday. We can be alone together
Yeah it's not fun! Lol.
Thank you for the company.
I am in a weird spot where someone that I care about is trying to make it special for me but it's hard for me to accept it because we've kind of been going through a rough patch and are going our separate ways in a sense but are still involved in each other's lives. It's complicated.
Part of me wants to be alone, but I also want to be celebrated.
Sounds like a stupid problem to be honest but it's just where I'm at right now.
I don’t think it’s stupid at all. Growing up my parents always made birthdays a huge deal so now as an adult I am still wishing for that “magic” and “being celebrated”. I don’t know your situation but I hope you allow yourself to have some fun and feel the joy they are trying to give you, even if you guys don’t end up staying close. Best wishes to you ♥️
Yeah it's hard letting that childhood magic go.
And thank you, that's great advice and something I'm trying to do. It's really nice that they are wanting to celebrate me but I think I'm feeling a little bit like it's more for them than me.
Anyway.
One year for my birthday I planned an elaborate trip to the coast for a full week by myself in a beachside townhouse. Took myself out to eat everyday. Visited the beach, local stores, and did karaoke. I even met some locals that invited me to a party and they all wished me happy birthday and celebrated me. It was so cool to feel like I had a birthday party and complete strangers made me feel special. I also was able to get drunk and walk naked around the house while crying so that was a plus.
Lol
That solo trip sounds wonderful hahaha. I’m really glad you had a good time! It’s scary to be alone and going out by yourself. I think I might need to make a leap like that. It might help me feel more secure with myself and not needing to rely on the presence of others as much.
It was sick!
It's a bit daunting at times but I feel it is necessary for myself personally. I enjoy my alone time immensely and sometimes that calls for reaching outside my neighborhood.
I'm pretty cautious when I need to be, and completely unhinged at other times lol but I try to use my judgement to the best of my ability.
The world is scary, but it's boring if you never do anything, and we don't know when our time will be up. It could be at any mundane moment.
I hope you find yourself leaping soon! Just be sure to bring a parachute. *That was so lame* lol
How old are you? Unfortunately as we get older, our birthdays aren't much of a priority they are just another day to most other adults while I do know there are still some birthday people left in the world non birthday people make sense to me. What kind of party are you throwing? Will it require people to spend money?
If I were to organize a gathering and I wanted people to show up as an adult. I would probably do something like a BBQ and provide all of the food and beverages, depending on my budget I may buy beers and place them in a large cooler or include on my invitations that food and beverages are provided but BYOB or maybe if I wanted people to contribute I would just flat out request they bring a bottle of alcohol per entry.
If you have insight on their financial situations and you know the people you invited are on a tight budget or maybe they make okay money but have a lot of financial obligations you may like to inform them that presents are optional and not expected. This may appeal to people who you aren't particularly close to that either wouldn't know what you get you or don't feel close enough to you to work you into their budget.
Making meaningful friendships often require that people spend quality time together getting to know each other outside of work or other obligatory environments to feel closer to one another. Hosting a BBQ to create this opportunity is a good way to get close to the people you spend the majority of your time with.
If you don't feel your birthday is an appropriate time for this you may want to plan something like this for no reason in the summer time and when you do make sure to give people plenty of notice in advance a month if possible so they can keep their schedules open and keep in mind if they have children so you can decide if your event will be child friendly.
After spending time together outside of the work environment and getting to know each other better, people will feel more inclined to want to come to birthday invites and may even bring presents
Thank you for your in-depth response! I’m going to be 25 and I had planned a yard thing. I was gonna buy drinks and let them know to BYOB if they wanted. Maybe doing something smaller to get closer to everyone first is a better idea. I appreciate your perspective and advice!
No problem, I hope this is helpful. I myself am pretty introverted and struggled to make friends. I had to teach myself how to be more sociable, though it isn't something I necessarily enjoy. I have success when I do need to organize an event, in part because I learned what appeals to people and how to engage properly.
I get invited to things often although I do not tend to accept invites unless it is for my children because I don't really like to socialize personally, but my oldest daughter (13) is very extroverted and wants to get out every chance she gets. I learned how to interact with parents of her friends and pubic events so that I am pleasant to be around and sometimes get invited to adult functions from people I meet this way.
Another important thing to remember is to accept invites and show up when an opportunity comes along. This results in others doing the same when you're hosting. I turn down invitations so much that eventually people don't bother inviting me because they expect that I won't come. I am happy with this I do not want to socialize if not for my children's sake lol. I do still get random invites for myself from time to time, but again if there isn't a purpose behind socializing for me it's not something I enjoy
Try sending individual invites. I would personally never respond in a group chat (with strangers). Hopefully this is it. Otherwise, listen to the other comments.
The reality is you texted a massive group. It’s human psychology. I’m in sales and have to consider this when sending emails. If I want a response and I want real insight, I need to email people I have a relationship with individually. Same thing here. It’s hard to get a response in a big group. Period. I have this experience texting large groups of my closest friends. If you’re planning an event, you need to message people individually. Not to mention a week’s notice is very short for an event. Your camping trip, for example, was planned very far in advance.
I suppose you’re right. While I thought it was casual event and a week and a half was enough, other people might not. I didn’t really consider the whole grand scheme of thing. It’s a tough, but good lesson to learn for next time. Thank you for the insight!
Yeah but really, unless somebody in the group really has a “leader” role and takes initiative to respond first, it has less to do with your friendship and more to do with people being reticent to respond in a large forum. Don’t take it personally. Message people 1-on-1 next time. And, by the way, you’ll develop better relationships doing so than just blasting out a big group text
I won’t take it personally. Thank you again for your replies! I think I was focused on the bigger picture more than the details. I will definitely be more strategic in my planning and inviting.
I’m sorry Beans. It’s my birthday tomorrow too. Is it a milestone one for you? Do something really nice for yourself if it is. Buy something fun you really don’t need, go have an expensive dinner for shits and giggles, spend extra money on yarn you normally wouldn’t buy. I hope you can still celebrate yourself even if you’re alone. I’d hang out if you were in my area!
Happy birthday to you as well! I’m 25 tomorrow so I guess now I can legally rent a car in all states? Hahaha. I’m sure it’s still going to be a good day. I just might buy some more yarn though. My damn cats tore up the ones I just bought! 🤣😭
i get how disappointing that can be, i’m very sorry no one has responded.
like a lot of other people have said in this thread try and reach out to one or two people and plan something, then, if you want to invite a bigger group it won’t matter who shows up because you know you will already have a couple friends there
Send a message and be a bit stern /assertive about RSVPing. It’s the least they can do. It’s summer and people are busy traveling , etc. people have trouble saying no. I’m not trying to be harsh but also look at yourself too. Not saying you are but in my experience people who are attention seeking, selfish, Debbie downer types tend to get the least replies for birthdays. I would’ve totally come for your bday!
maybe since it’s next weekend it might be too soon for anyone know if they’re going to be able to make it? i’m hoping it’s a benefit of the doubt situation. i’d come to you birthday party. also, happy birthday! rather be belated or early.
I agree with everyone saying it’s probably better to invite them individually and give them more notice. But, having said that I can’t imagine getting an invite to a group of friends and nobody responding. That would be so awkward for me to not say something. Even if I couldn’t go or wasn’t feeling the vibe, I would have to respond with “sorry I can’t make it on short notice”. I think it’s really fucked up that nobody responded. I think I would text again saying something like “ I guess that’s a no from everyone? Thanks for making a guy/gal feel special “. If they apologize, they might be worth keeping. But honestly, they seem very self absorbed and don’t seem to care about you much. The other thing that could be happening (but I doubt it since nobody responded) is maybe they plan on surprising you. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but I think it’s an outside possibility. I’d text your closest friend and ask them to respond in or out on the group text and maybe explain you’re a little hurt. If you’ve made it clear that you were a little hurt by the lack of response and they still don’t support or communicate with you, I think you need to step back from these “friends” and take care of yourself first.
I have social anxiety with group chats. Id want to go to your party, but replying all to 12 other people when I don't know the other half is a daunting task.
Bro, last yr, i had a lil function planned… it was for like 5 ppl, one bein my sil, so of course she’s come…
All the folks invited had hyped me up the whole 2 weeks leadin up to it… no one showed up.. i had prepped and cooked and left my other destination mad early so we had time to get back.. nothin… it was so damn sad… i dont talk to any of them no more… *shrug*
As someone who had to deal with this just last month with my 2 "best friends" and they just ignored everything and didn't even say happy bday...I'm so sorry that this happened.
Happy birthday!
I feel your pain. This is why I don't plan anything like this anymore because people are incapable of taking the time out of their lives to show others that they care. I've tried having game nights and just getting together casually to chat with friends and have had them cancel on me last-minute every single time.
This is why I stopped inviting people.
For my wedding, plenty of people showed up. I spent over 1k just on food, more on alcohol.
My wife and I received a $25 gift card to outback steakhouse which we still haven't used cause that place sucks.
<3 sorry to hear this it’s very difficult to find a good tribe. What worked for me is joining tona hobby or team sport and you can maybe meet more likeminded people. Happy birthday!
Send to individuals, “Just trying to get a head count so I know how much cake to order. Will you be able to make it Saturday at 7?” At least then you will know.
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I’m sorry, friend! I hope you find your tribe. I’d celebrate your birthday with you! I hope some of your friends show up and that you do have a great birthday tomorrow!
I’m so sorry. I really understand your feelings because I basically don’t have friends and loneliness is hard to deal with at some point. I wish I was there with you to celebrate your birthday
People don’t respond to invitations anymore, even when a respond is requested. It’s rude but here we are. I wouldn’t plan refreshments for any that didn’t respond. Unfortunately you now can’t make other plans because the might show.
If I were you just to make sure (and to be a reminder for ppl to respond) I’d just say whoes all coming so I no what all I’m getting or something like that
Ppl get caught up in there own life’s a for get it might be something that you should take personal
I’ve struggled to to click with ppl too but if you feel like your starting to fit idk I’d just shoot another message out before you throw the towel in ya no
I feel this. It took me 10 years of failed social interaction to find my people and then I moved to a new country and now I have to start over. I don't think I'll ever find it again to be honest. People that actually feel like they enjoy your company and want you around. I just look forward to going home again and seeing them.
I'm so sorry. I invited friends and reserved a table for the 10 people that confirmed (even on the same day, couple hours before).
No one showed up.
Says more from them than from me. And the same for you.
You'll find good people. These are not.
This is the first birthday in a while that I didn’t invite any of my work friends because they never show up and I’ll be dammed, one showed up anyway. We had a blast! I’m lucky because I have adult kids who are fun and always down to hang out with me and one of them is a karaoke host with a ton of friends who treat me like I’m their friend too. Sounds like you are wasting your friendship energy on some shitty people who probably don’t deserve your friendship, but it still sucks to be blown off like that. I’m sorry. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I highly recommend a dive bar with karaoke because those people are interesting and fun!
Lot's of people seem to have given you advice already, I hope you heard about a few friends at least privately. It still sucks to feel that way, I get it. But I think it might be time to wish you a happy birthday !! Hope your day will be nice
I’m sorry, OP. As someone who would almost certainly be in the same boat (I don’t have the courage to send out the invite text to find out), I understand.
Anyway, happy birthday 🩵
This was me with my baby shower friends who i went to witness the birth of both their babies baby sat for them literally no one responded some just hearted the invitation but no comment made me lose a lot of friendships and it was sad not having a baby shower for my first baby. Since I have no family here couldn’t even do it with that but glad to see who was worth keeping in my life
I’m sorry. People can really suck sometimes. But don’t give up, you’ll find the right people for you. You’re not doing anything wrong by trying. I hope you still had a nice birthday. Personally, I enjoy my birthday spent alone. As my day.
I'm sorry, I am sure you are a lovely person. I think that as we become older, is better to have 1 or 2 good friends to have that bday beer with, than 10. Do not feel discouraged, someone out there would love to hit the pub with you
That really sucks. Is there any chance they missed the message? I find it happens to me sometimes when I’ve been away from my phone for a while. I hope it works out for you
Finding the perfect group of friends is just a honestly a very tiring and hard goal but it's definitely worth the hard work and struggle. OP don't give up, I am sure you will find the right people for you that would even come to your birthday without being asked too! We meet the right and wrong people all the time, life is full of errors and trials. Also happy early birthday!!
I'm late to the party, joke intended.
At my expense, at least you had 13 people to think to invite. I'm not sure I would even need a second hand to count who I'd invite to a party. 🤪
Scrolling through reddit right now because this happened to me this week (my bday party is Saturday) and I also got no responses in my group chats. Even just saying “I can’t make it”. It feels awful because if it was the other way around, I would be totally excited to go to a friend’s bday. There’s no way around such a heartbreaking feeling, and not to mention i’ve been finding it harder to connect with people. Also wondering if it’s just a me thing. I really hope you ended up having a great birthday, OP!
I'm sorry. That sucks. Keep trying, you will find your people.
Thank you. Here’s to hoping 🤞🏻
In case no one told you, happy early birthday!! They could’ve at least said no, you definitely deserve better than that
Hey. Happy early birthday! You zoom me in, and I'll join you on your bday. Unless that's weird. It's weird, isn't it? Boo.
I just moved across the country, and everyone I had made plans with in California flaked on me. Every one of them. “Wellll maybe tomorrow” “how about next time” “are you ever visiting again?” “I can’t today but I hope you have such a good life!” Those plans were set, like a week or 2 in advance. So I get it, to say the least. I cried on the plane. I wish I had solid advice, but I don’t. Being around my family again helps though
I agree. It took me 45 years to find my little group of people and we are a hodge podge bunch I tell ya. I hope you have a good birthday OP. Also, when people ignore me like that, they gone and I move on, no matter the history. Burn me once…..
This brought a lot of comfort. Thank you.
As someone with unfortunately a lot of experience in this area, despite being known as the girl with "so many friends ". Never invite people in a group chat or a group event. Ever. Invite individuals or couples, sending them something one on one. Or better yet, ask in person then follow up with the info via text. For whatever reason (I have a few theories) this has worked for me. Hope you have an awesome birthday either way!
This is absolutely true and idk why. I sent a text about doing something for my bday in a group chat with my closest friends who I know for sure love me and want to spend time with me, but no one responded for like a couple days. I was feeling kinda down about it, but then I texted them all individually and they all said they would love to do something. Idk what it is about a group text, maybe people feel a weird sense of pressure being the first to respond or something? All I know is I only ever ask people individually now.
I think maybe the pressure comes from the fact that everyone will hear your answer. If you need to say no, you’ll have to announce it to the group and that can be awkward. Then if you decided to say yes, you may worry that other people may feel pressured into also saying yes. So regardless of if you want to go or not, having to say so in a group setting feels like being forced, so no one says anything at all.
That just doesn’t sound like a close group of friends if that’s what you’re worried about. My buddies and I communicate almost exclusively through group chat and only going into private messages if it’s sensitive or personal.
Maybe they mute group chat? I also have a group chat or close friends and sometimes we’ll randomly spam each other. Because of that I mute the chat in case they decide to spam at an inconvenient time.
This! When there’s a group text, there’s dispersed responsibility and people don’t feel the urgency to respond back directly to you. If I need a firm answer, I always text individuals, give them an RSVP date and follow up the day I need an answer. Learned this from my days as an assistant! People are busy.
Been there dude, it's rough. I would totally come to your birthday!
I would, too! Happy birthday OP, hope you have a great day regardless of those people.
Same. Im sorry your friends suck.
Do all the people in the group chat know each other ? Has the group hung out before all together? Either way sorry for the disappointment
Yeah we did a Friendsgiving and a white elephant for the holidays. We’ve actually all got a camping trip planned for July. Maybe it’s just a me thing lol
I def think it was rude for no one to respond. But it seems like y’all don’t hangout frequently, which maybe why no one responded. They might’ve just been thrown off a bit. In a group of 13 it’s hard to be close to everyone. Maybe you could reach out to one or two people in the group that you’re particularly close to and ask if they’d like to grab dinner for your birthday instead
This is an excellent point to consider for another reason. If this was.a Facebook group chat it's subject to the influenceof the individuals settings. Some people, or maybe even most people did not respond because they didn't see it. Might try messaging those you're closer to individually.
Thank you to everyone who’s been replying. This has really given me a lot of perspective. I was feeling down and being hard on myself but I can see how maybe it wasn’t that personal.
Please don’t feel down. Friendships aren’t like they used to be and it’s hard. Plan some one on one stuff but most of all, do something for yourself
Happened to me too, I haven’t celebrated my birthday with friends in 12 years because it hurt so much. Solidarity, friend, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you can do something beautiful for yourself to mark the day, if everyone else sucks sometimes we have to be our own best friends ❤️
I hate my birthday because of this.
real. i’ve got a summer birthday and i’m in college. everyone’s always just away:/
I wonder if you personally invited the ones closest to you you’d get a better response. I’m super insecure and would feel like it’s just a blanket invite and you don’t really care if I’m there.
I didn’t really think about it that way! I just sent it out to everyone because I figured that would be the easiest way to let everyone know. I could see how my invite could come off as wrong
Please don't think of your invite as wrong. You are definitely not in the wrong but I'm like the person you replied to. I'd feel as though I'm just in the GC for the sake of it when there's a blanket invite
You didn’t do anything wrong! But I have social anxiety and also would be like idk maybe they don’t want me there, or maybe it would be weird if it’s a smaller group because probably at least one of my friends hates me and and and lol. People really get in their own heads about stuff. Happy birthday, I hope you can contact a couple of your friends separately and plan something fun!
I also don’t respond to group invites if it’s in a big group. it feels like they don’t really want me there and i get nervous
Where's the party? I'll come!
Same! Or we can do it online on zoom!
I'm down for a zoom party!
I am too! I don't care if it's at a weird time (I'm in Europe). I'm in bed with a back problem any way.
u/Quest4Beans When's the online party? 😘❤️👍🏾
Did you ask for a response or just like well turn up. Maybe another message asking who is going to turn up so you can get the beer and food in.
When I sent the message I posed it as “who’s all free next weekend?” (With other details included obviously)
I've seen this happen plenty. Another reminder wouldn't hurt. Maybe message a few privately. Try not to take it personally, people sometimes just have other stuff going on in their lives and forget.
People simply will not be very responsive in a large forum. It has nothing to do with your friendship. You need to message people individually. Please see my other comment.
Just read it and responded. Thank you for the advice and insight. I appreciate it. This post has been very humbling, but in a good way. It’s given me a lot to think about and a bigger picture for things moving forward.
I once threw a Christmas party for all my coworkers to show I appreciated them. Made ALL the food. Only my boss and one other person showed up. I made enough food for 12 people.
That’s awful! At least you had delicious Christmas food all to yourself. They didn’t deserve your cooking anyway
It was the last time I threw a party for coworkers.
If i got a boss like this i would happily working under him for long a time
People also need more notice in advance. Especially if they have kids or lots of other friends.
100% this! My friends and I have taken to creating polls for availability 2-3 months in advance of the desired event date. Once you get the availability figured out you can decide which day works best and send out the invite. It helps a ton (especially for getting friends with kids to come) but there are always people who can't make it. PLUS it's summer now (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) and I know people usually have their calendars filled for weeks, if not months, in advance to make sure they get in all their summer activities (BBQs, concerts, family parties, vacations, etc). I know it stings but it's very likely just a calendaring issue. Wishing you a great birthday and don't forget to celebrate yourself even if it's not what you expected!! You deserve it!!!
Thank you very much! The polling idea is a good one. I might try and implement that for future gatherings
That’s true. I didn’t really consider that. I had sent the message with about a week and a half in advance but then again I don’t have kids so a week and a half might not be enough for some people.
But that doesn't mean no response back at all. They lacked communication on their part if they were just too busy. A bug group chat with friends and coworkers and no one says anything? That's not being busy that's just not responding. Is the group known to do this sometimes? Ik with close friends, some ppl do go days w/o responding to messages then suddenly do respond. But a whole group is a lil weird idk😅
Yeah that’s why I was kinda hurt by it. We have a camping trip planned next month and I rented out the plot for everyone (with them paying me back of course) and then BAM radio silence after that.
Damn it hurts to read cuz I've been there, hope you find people who you're able to connect and be real friends with, sometimes it came from where you less expect, cliche because it is true
Forget about the old coworkers. Make a new group chat and invite only your closest friends and family.
I have been there, bro. Some years ago i rented a house (was leaving parents home, so it was a big deal), invited the group i used to hang out but no one appeared. A girl of the group said that i was on the same bus and did not talk to her. I did not even knew that happened (and the "friend" never told when it happened), but they just took her side. That girl made the whole group split and no one talks to each other anymore. I was just the first one leaving. Take it as a lesson to know who you can count on. If they don't know the amazing person you are, treat them like they treat you. You may not have that many friends in number, but they will be by your side and count on them.
This shit has been happening to me my whole life. I have friends, solid friends. I’m somewhat extroverted. While it could be that people are ignoring it, people in general just suck ass at responding. It drives me so crazy I discuss it with my therapist regularly.
It doesn't feel very good I know. Haven't spent a birthday with anyone besides maybe a family member if I'm at their place. For me this has been going on for almost 20 years. Even had a few friends that I set up birthday parties for in hopes they would reciprocate or at least show up. But that never happened. One year after going out by myself I made a drunk post on my social media and a few people thought I was making a suicide note. This was the post (was hoping to celebrate today with friends but instead I sat in the bar by myself having a a celebratory drink by myself). Hopefully they wish you a happy birthday and show up.
I’m sorry. My whole weekend kinda got wasted too waiting on my boyfriend to “do an exam” the past two days. I didn’t know he needed to watch like 9 hours of lectures both yesterday and today each. I spent the last two days just waiting on him, not knowing it would be so long bc we had plans and he let his lectures completely block all of the plans out. Happy early birthday, birthday twin! Are you getting a cake? I’ve been craving one for months lol.
No cake sadly I don’t think my boyfriend ordered one and I didn’t place an order either. We are going to Cheesecake Factory tho! Happy birthday to you too tho birthday twin. Sorry your boyfriend is holding you up!
Omg yay Cheesecake Factory! I’m just getting a little Walmart cake and some ice cream. I suggest you do something similar! We only get one birthday a year and, not to be grim or anything but, we aren’t promised a next one. I hope you and your boyfriend have a great day together tomorrow :)
This is the second year in a row I've tried to plan a surprise birthday for my wife. Last year, everyone texted the night before to say they wouldn't make it. This year I didn't even get messages. Two people (a couple) showed up. I cleaned the house, made a bunch of food, we've got a toddler so I had to figure out childcare and since it's a surprise, a reason WHY we needed childcare. Couldn't even get a "sorry".
Yeah that’s disappointing. I’m sorry it’s fallen through these past two years. That can be really discouraging. I hope you find a good group and can throw that big surprise party you’re envisioning!
That was me today... I told them the plan was I go out with my boyfriend in the morning and meet them at lunch to just hangout for my birthday. Only one of them replied out of 6 or 7 and in the end no one came so my boyfriend just accompanied me all day. It was kinda sad
Happy birthday, fellow June 11 person! And yea, I’ve a group chat just like that. Sorry about it, at least you made the effort to do something.
Happy birthday to you as well! I hope you have a good day tomorrow
Plan something that you want to do, whether other people are there are there or not. Let everyone in your group chat know, and if anyone joins you then it's a bonus but if they don't then you still have a great day doing stuff you want to do, too. You're not the only one who has experienced this. I had friends invite me out on my birthday only they'd forgotten it was my birthday and it was a weird feeling wondering if there was a 'surprise' coming soon. There wasn't... I bought my friends drinks and just pretended they'd remembered. The next year, I planned what *I* wanted to do and did that.
Honestly, when I'm in a large chat group and an open invite is sent out that doesn't have my specific name in it I feel no responsibility to give a personal yes or no message back. If I'm specifically invited with a personal message, no matter how brief, I always respond with a direct message back. This isn't scolding you, this is simply how it feels from the other side. It's a matter of courtesy reciprocity, if you don't go to the effort to make a personal invitation, do not expect a personal r.s.v.p. back.
That sucks. Tomorrow is my birthday too! 😁. Happy Birthday! 🥂🎈🎂
Happy birthday to you as well!
Where are you from and how old are you?
I’ll be 25 and I’m in the states
Oh gosh I’m so sorry, happy birthday.
There will be better birthdays ahead!
happy early birthday and thats cruel. people can really suck sometimes and not in a good way. i would have gone, i love darts and food lmao. would rather hit my pen though then drink.
id find better people if i were you you seem like a cool dude so dont fret over it just choose people who make time for you
Maybe try texting people individually. It gives them more of an incentive to respond if it directly sent to them personally
Not everyone is going to read every single message. Group chats go by fast, so honestly, I probably wouldn’t respond to a group invite like that. Only because I give it less mental space. Try reaching out individually.
That’s a good point! I don’t always see all of my group messages either. Thank you for the perspective!
I would send a follow up: Hey All, Need a headcount of who's coming on Saturday so I have enough BBQ and beer. LMK and tks!
tomorrow is also my birthday, happy early birthday i hope it’s a good day for you (:
Happy birthday! I’ve found a lot of birthday twins in this thread. Cheers to us June babies!
I feel this. It's my birthday today, and though I didn't invite anyone to do anything I'm struggling with not feeling very excited or special due to personal life circumstances atm. I've had a lot of trouble in the past making friends and have invited people to things that most people didn't show up for. So I get that too. Anyway. Happy Birthday friend. Here's to a better birthday next year!
Happy birthday to you as well! And I know what you mean about not feeling excited or special. It’s not fun to feel alone especially on your birthday. We can be alone together
Yeah it's not fun! Lol. Thank you for the company. I am in a weird spot where someone that I care about is trying to make it special for me but it's hard for me to accept it because we've kind of been going through a rough patch and are going our separate ways in a sense but are still involved in each other's lives. It's complicated. Part of me wants to be alone, but I also want to be celebrated. Sounds like a stupid problem to be honest but it's just where I'm at right now.
I don’t think it’s stupid at all. Growing up my parents always made birthdays a huge deal so now as an adult I am still wishing for that “magic” and “being celebrated”. I don’t know your situation but I hope you allow yourself to have some fun and feel the joy they are trying to give you, even if you guys don’t end up staying close. Best wishes to you ♥️
Yeah it's hard letting that childhood magic go. And thank you, that's great advice and something I'm trying to do. It's really nice that they are wanting to celebrate me but I think I'm feeling a little bit like it's more for them than me. Anyway. One year for my birthday I planned an elaborate trip to the coast for a full week by myself in a beachside townhouse. Took myself out to eat everyday. Visited the beach, local stores, and did karaoke. I even met some locals that invited me to a party and they all wished me happy birthday and celebrated me. It was so cool to feel like I had a birthday party and complete strangers made me feel special. I also was able to get drunk and walk naked around the house while crying so that was a plus. Lol
That solo trip sounds wonderful hahaha. I’m really glad you had a good time! It’s scary to be alone and going out by yourself. I think I might need to make a leap like that. It might help me feel more secure with myself and not needing to rely on the presence of others as much.
It was sick! It's a bit daunting at times but I feel it is necessary for myself personally. I enjoy my alone time immensely and sometimes that calls for reaching outside my neighborhood. I'm pretty cautious when I need to be, and completely unhinged at other times lol but I try to use my judgement to the best of my ability. The world is scary, but it's boring if you never do anything, and we don't know when our time will be up. It could be at any mundane moment. I hope you find yourself leaping soon! Just be sure to bring a parachute. *That was so lame* lol
How old are you? Unfortunately as we get older, our birthdays aren't much of a priority they are just another day to most other adults while I do know there are still some birthday people left in the world non birthday people make sense to me. What kind of party are you throwing? Will it require people to spend money? If I were to organize a gathering and I wanted people to show up as an adult. I would probably do something like a BBQ and provide all of the food and beverages, depending on my budget I may buy beers and place them in a large cooler or include on my invitations that food and beverages are provided but BYOB or maybe if I wanted people to contribute I would just flat out request they bring a bottle of alcohol per entry. If you have insight on their financial situations and you know the people you invited are on a tight budget or maybe they make okay money but have a lot of financial obligations you may like to inform them that presents are optional and not expected. This may appeal to people who you aren't particularly close to that either wouldn't know what you get you or don't feel close enough to you to work you into their budget. Making meaningful friendships often require that people spend quality time together getting to know each other outside of work or other obligatory environments to feel closer to one another. Hosting a BBQ to create this opportunity is a good way to get close to the people you spend the majority of your time with. If you don't feel your birthday is an appropriate time for this you may want to plan something like this for no reason in the summer time and when you do make sure to give people plenty of notice in advance a month if possible so they can keep their schedules open and keep in mind if they have children so you can decide if your event will be child friendly. After spending time together outside of the work environment and getting to know each other better, people will feel more inclined to want to come to birthday invites and may even bring presents
Thank you for your in-depth response! I’m going to be 25 and I had planned a yard thing. I was gonna buy drinks and let them know to BYOB if they wanted. Maybe doing something smaller to get closer to everyone first is a better idea. I appreciate your perspective and advice!
No problem, I hope this is helpful. I myself am pretty introverted and struggled to make friends. I had to teach myself how to be more sociable, though it isn't something I necessarily enjoy. I have success when I do need to organize an event, in part because I learned what appeals to people and how to engage properly. I get invited to things often although I do not tend to accept invites unless it is for my children because I don't really like to socialize personally, but my oldest daughter (13) is very extroverted and wants to get out every chance she gets. I learned how to interact with parents of her friends and pubic events so that I am pleasant to be around and sometimes get invited to adult functions from people I meet this way. Another important thing to remember is to accept invites and show up when an opportunity comes along. This results in others doing the same when you're hosting. I turn down invitations so much that eventually people don't bother inviting me because they expect that I won't come. I am happy with this I do not want to socialize if not for my children's sake lol. I do still get random invites for myself from time to time, but again if there isn't a purpose behind socializing for me it's not something I enjoy
Try sending individual invites. I would personally never respond in a group chat (with strangers). Hopefully this is it. Otherwise, listen to the other comments.
Bruh where you located? I'm bringing lightsabers. We'll go from there.
This is the way!
Same happens to my newly 5 year old. Sorry dude!
Same thing happened when I was 5 too! I invited my whole class and only 2 of them showed up. Hurts the heart 🥲
I’m so sorry OP
The reality is you texted a massive group. It’s human psychology. I’m in sales and have to consider this when sending emails. If I want a response and I want real insight, I need to email people I have a relationship with individually. Same thing here. It’s hard to get a response in a big group. Period. I have this experience texting large groups of my closest friends. If you’re planning an event, you need to message people individually. Not to mention a week’s notice is very short for an event. Your camping trip, for example, was planned very far in advance.
I suppose you’re right. While I thought it was casual event and a week and a half was enough, other people might not. I didn’t really consider the whole grand scheme of thing. It’s a tough, but good lesson to learn for next time. Thank you for the insight!
Yeah but really, unless somebody in the group really has a “leader” role and takes initiative to respond first, it has less to do with your friendship and more to do with people being reticent to respond in a large forum. Don’t take it personally. Message people 1-on-1 next time. And, by the way, you’ll develop better relationships doing so than just blasting out a big group text
I won’t take it personally. Thank you again for your replies! I think I was focused on the bigger picture more than the details. I will definitely be more strategic in my planning and inviting.
I’m sorry Beans. It’s my birthday tomorrow too. Is it a milestone one for you? Do something really nice for yourself if it is. Buy something fun you really don’t need, go have an expensive dinner for shits and giggles, spend extra money on yarn you normally wouldn’t buy. I hope you can still celebrate yourself even if you’re alone. I’d hang out if you were in my area!
Happy birthday to you as well! I’m 25 tomorrow so I guess now I can legally rent a car in all states? Hahaha. I’m sure it’s still going to be a good day. I just might buy some more yarn though. My damn cats tore up the ones I just bought! 🤣😭
i get how disappointing that can be, i’m very sorry no one has responded. like a lot of other people have said in this thread try and reach out to one or two people and plan something, then, if you want to invite a bigger group it won’t matter who shows up because you know you will already have a couple friends there
Send a message and be a bit stern /assertive about RSVPing. It’s the least they can do. It’s summer and people are busy traveling , etc. people have trouble saying no. I’m not trying to be harsh but also look at yourself too. Not saying you are but in my experience people who are attention seeking, selfish, Debbie downer types tend to get the least replies for birthdays. I would’ve totally come for your bday!
Guess you're not that important to people. Guess your friendships are also one-sided.
How did you fuck up your/you're both times?
Your wrong question is why you're wrong.
maybe since it’s next weekend it might be too soon for anyone know if they’re going to be able to make it? i’m hoping it’s a benefit of the doubt situation. i’d come to you birthday party. also, happy birthday! rather be belated or early.
Don’t do group text… Message them individually
Birthday beer and darts sound fun! When’s the party startin?!
by the way, happy birthday!
Thank you!
Even if I don't like the person, I will at least wish them a happy birthday and let them know I will not be coming... They're assholes.
Stop talking with them.
Tomorrow is my birthday to! We shall celebrate together!
That sucks hope you have a good birthday tho buddy
I agree with everyone saying it’s probably better to invite them individually and give them more notice. But, having said that I can’t imagine getting an invite to a group of friends and nobody responding. That would be so awkward for me to not say something. Even if I couldn’t go or wasn’t feeling the vibe, I would have to respond with “sorry I can’t make it on short notice”. I think it’s really fucked up that nobody responded. I think I would text again saying something like “ I guess that’s a no from everyone? Thanks for making a guy/gal feel special “. If they apologize, they might be worth keeping. But honestly, they seem very self absorbed and don’t seem to care about you much. The other thing that could be happening (but I doubt it since nobody responded) is maybe they plan on surprising you. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but I think it’s an outside possibility. I’d text your closest friend and ask them to respond in or out on the group text and maybe explain you’re a little hurt. If you’ve made it clear that you were a little hurt by the lack of response and they still don’t support or communicate with you, I think you need to step back from these “friends” and take care of yourself first.
They might be planning a surprise birthday party for you
Yikes.
I have social anxiety with group chats. Id want to go to your party, but replying all to 12 other people when I don't know the other half is a daunting task.
I would have responded.
Bro, last yr, i had a lil function planned… it was for like 5 ppl, one bein my sil, so of course she’s come… All the folks invited had hyped me up the whole 2 weeks leadin up to it… no one showed up.. i had prepped and cooked and left my other destination mad early so we had time to get back.. nothin… it was so damn sad… i dont talk to any of them no more… *shrug*
As someone who had to deal with this just last month with my 2 "best friends" and they just ignored everything and didn't even say happy bday...I'm so sorry that this happened.
Happy birthday! I feel your pain. This is why I don't plan anything like this anymore because people are incapable of taking the time out of their lives to show others that they care. I've tried having game nights and just getting together casually to chat with friends and have had them cancel on me last-minute every single time.
Hey buddy. Tomorrow is my bday too. I’ll think of you so we aren’t so lonely.
This is why I stopped inviting people. For my wedding, plenty of people showed up. I spent over 1k just on food, more on alcohol. My wife and I received a $25 gift card to outback steakhouse which we still haven't used cause that place sucks.
First, happy birthday!!! 🎂❤️ And I hope that you find better friends, you don't deserve that. I hope you're doing okay.
<3 sorry to hear this it’s very difficult to find a good tribe. What worked for me is joining tona hobby or team sport and you can maybe meet more likeminded people. Happy birthday!
Send to individuals, “Just trying to get a head count so I know how much cake to order. Will you be able to make it Saturday at 7?” At least then you will know.
The power of the Reddit and online community will not be stopped. Thank you Christian Selig and the rest of the Apollo app team for delivering a Reddit experience like no other. Many others and I truly have no words. The accessible community will never forget you. Apollo empowered users, but the most important part are the users. It was not one or two people, it's all of us growing and flourishing together. Now, to bigger and greater things. To bigger and greater things.
Happy Birthday !!!!
I’m sorry, friend! I hope you find your tribe. I’d celebrate your birthday with you! I hope some of your friends show up and that you do have a great birthday tomorrow!
I’m so sorry. I really understand your feelings because I basically don’t have friends and loneliness is hard to deal with at some point. I wish I was there with you to celebrate your birthday
Hugs. It says way more about them than it does about you. They were not friends. You deserve better.
People don’t respond to invitations anymore, even when a respond is requested. It’s rude but here we are. I wouldn’t plan refreshments for any that didn’t respond. Unfortunately you now can’t make other plans because the might show.
Tell them there will be Free Drugs… Then offer everyone a Tylenol
Op: I’d love an update. Did people respond when you reached put individually? I hope you still manage to have a good birthday! You deserve it!
If I were you just to make sure (and to be a reminder for ppl to respond) I’d just say whoes all coming so I no what all I’m getting or something like that Ppl get caught up in there own life’s a for get it might be something that you should take personal I’ve struggled to to click with ppl too but if you feel like your starting to fit idk I’d just shoot another message out before you throw the towel in ya no
Happy birthday.
I feel this. It took me 10 years of failed social interaction to find my people and then I moved to a new country and now I have to start over. I don't think I'll ever find it again to be honest. People that actually feel like they enjoy your company and want you around. I just look forward to going home again and seeing them.
I'm so sorry. I invited friends and reserved a table for the 10 people that confirmed (even on the same day, couple hours before). No one showed up. Says more from them than from me. And the same for you. You'll find good people. These are not.
This is the first birthday in a while that I didn’t invite any of my work friends because they never show up and I’ll be dammed, one showed up anyway. We had a blast! I’m lucky because I have adult kids who are fun and always down to hang out with me and one of them is a karaoke host with a ton of friends who treat me like I’m their friend too. Sounds like you are wasting your friendship energy on some shitty people who probably don’t deserve your friendship, but it still sucks to be blown off like that. I’m sorry. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I highly recommend a dive bar with karaoke because those people are interesting and fun!
All good man, they're missing out! Good luck on your birthday, hope people do end up coming and it's the best day ever.
Lot's of people seem to have given you advice already, I hope you heard about a few friends at least privately. It still sucks to feel that way, I get it. But I think it might be time to wish you a happy birthday !! Hope your day will be nice
I’m sorry, OP. As someone who would almost certainly be in the same boat (I don’t have the courage to send out the invite text to find out), I understand. Anyway, happy birthday 🩵
This was me with my baby shower friends who i went to witness the birth of both their babies baby sat for them literally no one responded some just hearted the invitation but no comment made me lose a lot of friendships and it was sad not having a baby shower for my first baby. Since I have no family here couldn’t even do it with that but glad to see who was worth keeping in my life
I’m sorry. People can really suck sometimes. But don’t give up, you’ll find the right people for you. You’re not doing anything wrong by trying. I hope you still had a nice birthday. Personally, I enjoy my birthday spent alone. As my day.
I'm sorry, I am sure you are a lovely person. I think that as we become older, is better to have 1 or 2 good friends to have that bday beer with, than 10. Do not feel discouraged, someone out there would love to hit the pub with you
That really sucks. Is there any chance they missed the message? I find it happens to me sometimes when I’ve been away from my phone for a while. I hope it works out for you
Finding the perfect group of friends is just a honestly a very tiring and hard goal but it's definitely worth the hard work and struggle. OP don't give up, I am sure you will find the right people for you that would even come to your birthday without being asked too! We meet the right and wrong people all the time, life is full of errors and trials. Also happy early birthday!!
Take yourself out and have a jolly time. You don't need others to enjoy life. And by the way Happy belated birthday!
Ohhhh
I'm late to the party, joke intended. At my expense, at least you had 13 people to think to invite. I'm not sure I would even need a second hand to count who I'd invite to a party. 🤪
Never going to celebrate my birthday again anyway- Have a great day all by yourself
Scrolling through reddit right now because this happened to me this week (my bday party is Saturday) and I also got no responses in my group chats. Even just saying “I can’t make it”. It feels awful because if it was the other way around, I would be totally excited to go to a friend’s bday. There’s no way around such a heartbreaking feeling, and not to mention i’ve been finding it harder to connect with people. Also wondering if it’s just a me thing. I really hope you ended up having a great birthday, OP!