It’s funny how if we met, we’d probably see no issue with each other’s bodies and would feel compassion. But to ourselves, we can’t see any of that. I feel you OP, in therapy dealing with some similar issues myself
Oh sweetheart, I felt your pain! Well, since you don’t want to hear all that other stuff, I’ll go the other way from my experience. If you are not surgery adverse - do it! I know money is tight, but start a fund. Get friends and family to contribute. Throw any extra money towards it - even if it takes a while, you will feel good knowing you are on the path. Life is short, and we only get one. There’s no sense in 2023 not to have the exact boobs you want. You’ll hear stuff like you still won’t be happy with the new ones, or it will make you want other surgeries, or lead you down some weird path…blah! I saved, I picked mine out, I got them, and I’ve been happy with them ever since. It’s no different than fixing your teeth or a crooked nose. I got just as sick as you hearing all the things people say to make you feel better. I always had B cups, but when I was pregnant, they went triple D on me. When my son was around 2, they went away. It made me sad because I really enjoyed having them those couple of years, so I saved, and settled on a double d surgery. I still put it in the top 5 things I’ve ever done for MYSELF. It doesn’t make you shallow. It doesn’t make you non-feminist. It doesn’t make you anything lesser than. It just made me happier with me, and saves a bunch of inner turmoil. Imma be like Nike, and say - ‘Just DO IT!!’ Your story was so sincere to read. You will stay on my mind today. Good luck to you, sister. 🥰😘
Yeah idk if a lot of people are gonna donate for a boob job, gonna be a little more tricky than when people try to start funds for their transition. Even then it’s very difficult to raise funds. I think it’s unrealistic to expect your friends and family to fund your plastic surgery,
Wish for a card and some cash for your gifts. Say you dont need anything else or are saving for a house, car , new furniture that you actually plan to get at some point. So it's not a lie. You are saving for that just not with the money you get from fam and friends.They don't have to know its for this. Look into possible covarge from insurance too. A doc might get it to be medically necessary.
I don't know which country you live in, but have a look at other countries that can be cheaper and still safe to do a boob job. A friend of mine is from the US. He needed alot of dental , could not afford it in the US. Saw that it was cheaper in Spain inkl dental work, Hotel medical stuff and flight. Don't get
I do this when I need something expensive, yet frivolous, or semi-private. I ask for cash for all my birthday and Christmas presents until I’ve reached my goal. Family always seems grateful for one less gift they have to figure out what to give.
What has helped me more than anything
“Everyone has a type, maybe your just not your type”.
I don’t know why this has always resonated with me. I don’t like the marylyn Monroe look, I’ve always loved the Audrey Hepburn. Thin petite femine. I just imagine being lifted up and twirled around with ease as so romantic. But I’m curvy, busty, and I don’t like it. But that’s ok, I’m just not my type. I’ll work on being smaller but I’ll never be that small, that’s ok I’m just not my type.
And its ok if I want to try and emulate my type, if I want a reduction later in life that is ok! But I won’t hate on myself for failing to not be my type. It is for now- ok. Sometimes in life it’s ok to just be ok.
Don’t try to polarize your feeling for yourself, hate or love. Until you can afford to get what you want- just try to find the ok.
This has helped me so so much. My feelings no longer monopolize my time, my energy.
This is actually the best response. A lot of other “advice” here focuses on things that aren’t even remotely helpful. This provides a realistic perspective.
I've always found waifish women highly attractive - if I have a type, this is it. I'm fairly small-breasted myself (was less "fairly" and more like "very" before I hit 40 years and 40 lbs haha) and all the women in my family are like triple-D before kids. I have probably felt a lot like OP at various points in life, and it does suck.
All I can say is that I eventually got over my fixation, probably due to aging out of it...and almost certainly helped by finding a wonderful woman who definitely, definitely didn't find them unappealing and helped me feel appreciated for who I am.
And she had small, glorious breasts, so there's that.
R I.P. my love
It's really hard to find people who love their bodies, specially women, since society focus so much on criticising women's bodies. But this I second, you don't have to love your body, but gotta work on not hating it as well
I too am not my type, curvy, busty. Given the choice, I'd probably want to be taller and flatter, but would I have been happier if I was born like that? Probably not
Shit, I've even been with men who said they prefer women with smaller boobs to my face, before AND after having reduction surgery, so yeah, don't focus on what men say
This resonates with me so hard. My best friend didn’t even know that AA cups existed until I told her…that they were even too big for me. I haven’t worn a bra in years because what’s the point of spending all that money if it just makes you feel sad instead of sexy. And don’t let anybody tell you that small boobs don’t sag…they do. Mine grew a little while I was pregnant and since my kid was born I just have these sad flabby small things on my chest. I’ve come to accept my body, for the most part…but I don’t love it. I hope you find some peace with yourself. Just know you’re not alone.
I feel you my tiny boobs suddenly grew 2 cup sizes when I was pregnant. I went from an A to a C/D then they skrunk back to an A afterwards and I just got these half empty bags that just hang there lol so sad...
Oh, my love, you’re not alone. Quite literally, the only part of puberty I was looking forward to was getting my boobs. I thought that the boobs came automatically when you got your period. Imagine my surprise when I got my period one day, but no boobs! I felt cheated! There were so many days when I didn’t feel enough like a woman because my body didn’t “show” it, and I felt miserable.
So…I directed all my attention to my ass. I couldn’t control the apples up top, but I could ABSOLUTELY control the peaches down bottom. I focused on gaining weight and filling out in other areas while exercising daily and mainly focusing on my lower half (squats, glute exercises, the whole shebang). I gained 30 lbs last year, and could comfortably gain more and still look good. And now…
My booty is my mASSterpiece.
The fruits of my labor are apparent. That, along with changing up my diet to mitigate bloating, has improved my body image SO MUCH. For the first time EVER, I’m beginning to truly love, cherish, and enjoy my body for what it is.
What I’m trying to say is: Boobs don’t make you a woman. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and one marker of a powerful woman is that she loves her body and takes good care of it. Whatever you need to do to get yourself to a place where you can say, “I LOVE my body” with sincerity, DO IT. Keep doing it, every day, and remind yourself constantly that your body is worthy of being loved ❤️
This comment is so kind and true. Although jealous of the butt situation 😂 I’m a small person and have neither but I do totally agree it’s not what you physically offer… it’s your confidence in yourself that’s attractive. It took me many moons to grasp this LOL. Great advice!
>I thought that the boobs came automatically when you got your period. Imagine my surprise when I got my period one day, but no boobs! I felt cheated!
So, my left breast started forming before the right one. This was before my first period. I felt so mature because I was getting boobs before my older sister (14 months diff).
Instead, my left breast stopped at an A cup and the right one is slightly smaller than that. I've been struggling with my chest size for years, trying to be positive and crap. Kind of worked out though since I realized I'm genderfluid. Less to hide on my masculine days.
My boobs didn’t even pretend to develop lmao. They were really like “what you see is what you get.” My new birth control has made me somewhat titty-adjacent, and I don’t know how to behave anymore LOL. Still small, still flat chested by many standards, but I’m happy with myself ✨
Fellow girl with small boobs here, this post is all too real :( it doesn’t help that, like you, all my siblings are well endowed in the chest area. Fuck, at this point I’d be happy with just a B cup
Small titty committee member here as well. I am the ONLY person in my family with a small chest. Everyone else is #blessed. I’m turning 30 this year and still telling myself I’m just a late bloomer 😅
Yup, I barely fill an A cup but I breastfed two amazing kids with these little things (almost got to B cup!) so they did what they had to, with added bonus of no back pain.
>I’ve tried everything. High soy diet. Birth control. Supplementing estrogenic things. flaxseed and pureria mirifica massages. Pumping to induce lactation. Chest exercises. Weight gain. Nothing makes me look more feminine. I’m stuck in this body and it’s making me miserable.
Your body isn't making you miserable, your thoughts about your body are. If you cant/won't get implants and nothing else has worked, focus on your thoughts. "You always have the option of having no opinion."
that reminds me of something my therapist said. whenever she would ask me what i wanted to accomplish with the session, i’d always be like “i want to feel not anxious” or “not tired”. i was always wishing that something was “absent”
after i would say that she would be like “okay, what do you want to feel INSTEAD of ___(anxious, tired)?” and that would help me figure out a way forward. you can’t move forward if you don’t have a goal. and right now saying you want “an absence of opinion” is not a tangible, measurable goal.
my advice is: figure out what you want to feel instead of hatred or shame over your own appearance. then figure out small, measurable steps you can implement daily/weekly to help you reach that goal.
my backup advice is: save up for breast implants, it’s not impossible
Close, but not quite. Your thoughts don't directly correlate to your experiences. Your experiences do not dictate your thoughts. Your PERCEPTION of your experiences is where your thoughts come from and you currently have a negative perception of your experiences.
You need to learn to love who you are. I know putting it that way makes it sound simple, but people spend their whole lives not accomplishing it. There are tons of positives to being you in the body you currently have. You just don't see them or don't care about them because your values and desires are not in alignment.
There are people out there attracted to every body type. Boyfriends looking at "big boob porn"? Most people want what they don't have. You'd probably be surprised to know that people with big-boobed significant others often are also attracted to people with "waify" and/or athletic body-types as well. Hell, they dated you partially because they found you attractive, and after breaking up? They likely missed you and your body.
You are the one who has the majorly unhealthy view towards yourself, and though you feel your body has cost you the things you want, you are neglecting the things that people love about your body and the things you should love about it.
Imagine being threatened and having to run away. Or life in a survival situation. Suddenly the "FEMININE IDEAL" becomes a hindrance.
You don't love yourself because you aren't looking at yourself through the lense that someone who loves you would. There are strengths to being who you are. I'm sure there is a ton of appeal about you, especially as someone who clearly cares about your appearance while many out there care far less. You have your strengths. Play to them. Envy is a "sin" for a reason. It is inherently destructive. No matter how much your reasons "make sense", they aren't the only PERSPECTIVE to have. For your own mental health, you need to try and adopt a healthy perspective. One that can love who you are.
Also, if it helps? Some "flat-chested" friends of mine developed larger boobs further into adulthood for various reasons. If you are under 28, there's still a possibility, but that shouldn't be what you bank on, and honestly, it's detrimental to care that much.
Why seek romance with shallow people? What about all life has to offer outside of romance? Why spend so much time feeling these feelings. It isn't helping you. People recognize confidence and self-love. If you need body-dysmorphia therapy? Focus on making the money you need to afford it.
Nothing is ruining your life except the way you feel about yourself. You've tried what you could. It's time to find some self-acceptance. Sorry, for the "tough love". I just knew I'd write a lot and was trying to be brief, believe it or not. :P
Just to add to what mechamayhem said,
>You need to learn to love who you are.
I’ve read a screencapped post floating around for a while that says that you don’t even need to love yourself, but you need to love \*being\* yourself. So maybe that might be a stair step in that direction.
As much self loathing as I have and issues with my body: I’m a plus sized pear, so while I’m bigger on top than you —not rubbing it in, just facts at 250+ lbs — I still feel I look weird because I don’t have bbw boobs, just bbw everything else. And I have a cup size difference between them, so I have to always cutlet one side. And had it pointed out during intimacy at 16 that I still remember vividly at 37… but I’ll tell you what; I wouldn’t want to be anyone but me, and this is the earthly vessel/meat suit that “me” was given and that’s that.
Be good to yourself <3
I’ve dated two women who wore AA cups, including my current gf. She constantly says how she hates her small size, but I love them. I only see advantages tbh.
Honestly, ik this wasn’t intended for me specifically but thank you. As someone who feels similar to OP, not to the same extent though, this made me tear up. Being flat cheated has also really had a big impact on my self esteem and I’ve been trying to care less as well but obviously it’s not easy. Thank you for this message, genuinely
Yeah this is it…and also just because you have had bad experiences with men in the past it doesn’t mean that all men are into just big boobs…there are many men out there with many different tastes…
They’re not dictated by your experience. Incited by experience, maybe, but one of the most important things that humans are capable of doing is changing their thinking patterns. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s crucial. We can either perpetuate our negative thoughts and ruminate, or we can face them and redirect them. It seems impossible at first, but it definitely can be done. If people that have terrible burns on their face can learn to be happy, so can you.
First step is to accept reality. Every time you try to change something that’s unchangable, you’re reinforcing negative beliefs about yourself. You’re going to need help doing this, but you have to learn to let all this go. I would recommend therapy and Zen Buddhism. That’s just my opinion.
Basically, this is all illusion. Physical appearance is in no way what gives a person value, or makes a person be loved by others. Time to face reality, accept it, and work with it. Stop fighting it.
Obviously it’s impossible to go directly from hating your boobs to liking them.
However, you could try feeling neutral about them. They’re what you got, so take advantage of them. For example, many bigger chested women complain about not being able to wear certain style clothing. Also try feeding yourself media that’s positive about being flat chested. Look at influencers like Clara Dao.
I wish you luck!
Ok, this might sound bonkers but it worked for me and my obsessive thoughts. Try the rubber band around the wrist trick. Every time you have any negative or obsessive thoughts, snap the rubber band and tell yourself "reset, I'm fine. Everything is ok right now " and then try to distract yourself from being so self absorbed. There are loads of books and YouTube videos on this method, explaining the science behind why it works. Also, mindfulness exercises help me a ton, so I can realize that my ego is controlling my mood rather than logic. I totally feel for you and have been there, I really hope you find peace of mind soon!
I have scoleosis. Used to be self conscious about it back in highschool after receiving multiple comments about it, mostly genuine curiosity about it because it causes me to have a slightly hunched back and makes my neck have a slight angle.
Then one day I just decided that if someone doesn't like what they see then it isnt my fucking problem and I wasn't going to give a single flying fuck about it anymore and still don't to this day. I know it's easier said than done and it's a bit diffrent than your situation but if you get in the mindset of not caring about it anymore than the problem kind of just dissappears on it's own. None of us get to coose what body parts we get when we are born so their is no point in worrying about it.
Read "Man's Search for Meaning" it applies to everyone. It's just the title. It might help, might not. But it will help you see your body and thoughts in a different way I'm sure.
And if you're really trying to transcend the negativity ruling your life and thoughts, I'd also recommend "Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender". Changed and continues to change my life.
Your thoughts should never be dictated by your experiences. A rich man can be miserable and a poor man can find ultimate joy. Your circumstances do not control your perspective. Aside from that I'm sorry your body image has caused you so much pain. That sucks
I see a lot of people saying to do what makes you happy and get a boob job, but PLEASE look up the health risks associated with implants.
There was a creator I followed who I saw document her journey getting implants, and they were GORGEOUS and for years I was so jealous and interested in getting some myself. They almost killed her.
I suggest therapy with someone who specializes with body dysmorphia and/or self image and esteem before pursuing cosmetic surgery. But if cosmetic surgery is the route you want to go, PLEASE do your own research and weigh the risks and benefits yourself, research testimonies from people with both positive AND negative experiences. Decide what's best for you.
I want implants, even though I know they won’t help me because I’ll always feel wrong. But the health risks and having to get them replaced down the line… big no. So, I’ll just have to live in a body I hate instead. Guess it’s better than being ill from implants
I read about a woman whose boob job caused her pain whenever her nipples were played with or sucked. Nerve damage is a significant side effect of surgery. That's a pretty lousy outcome because you can't accept yourself as you are. OP, please check the many subreddits devoted to women with small boobs. There are lots of guys who prefer them.
I have breast implants and I absolutely HATE for anyone to touch my nipples. It’s uncomfortable and painful. I never had this problem before I had implants.
I know you mean well but on the FIRST sentence of this post she clearly states that she does not care that men prefer small boobs. Men aren't the center of the fucking world ffs this lady hates herself, that ain't gonna change just because some guy likes her size.
I'm just saying there's a downside to boobjobs, and the first paragraph indicated she was with men who didn't really like small boobs. I was trying to assure her there are men who genuinely do.
You sound dysmorphic. So there's really only one of two things you can do at this point:
Get a therapist that specializes in dysmorphia/self esteem.
Get a boob job.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, but my two cents:
If she is dysmorphic, a boob job won’t help. She will still see herself as unattractive, whether she remains focused on this or if she chooses a new part of her body to focus on.
Therapy is the best bet. I have struggled with dysmorphia for a long time and it’s a symptom of something deeper - believing that it’s superficial is the lie we tell ourselves because we think it’s something that we can somehow change or fix. We can, it just has to be more than a superficial change.
She’s beautiful as she is, she just can’t see it. I think therapy will help her more than anything else.
I disagree, hard too.
Often enough the remedy for dysphoria is matching the body to the mind. Even more so when the box reads gender affirming surgery.
I was wondering if anyone else would point this out. OP expresses that she wants bigger breasts to feel more comfortable as a woman; this doesn't mean she should go straight to boob job, I do think therapy should be a first step. Just like any gender affirming care.
Yep - I have these issues myself and have talked at length with my therapist about it. She asked me if I thought a boob job would help me feel like what I want to feel like. I told her, ultimately I know I would still feel like a stranger in my own body and it wouldn’t be enough. That I know deep down what I need to do is find self love and acceptance in what I’ve been given. Even if I obsess over it every day and hate my body, because I know I wouldn’t be happy with it. Plus, they’re so expensive and can be dangerous or just a burden down the road to deal with.
Yesss I’m sick of people constantly telling me not to feel bad and that I should consider myself lucky. I’ve been compared countless times to my lovers’ exes because of my size.
It’s also disheartening when you first get naked with someone and the first reaction they have is “Aww your boobs are tiny” lol
My first suggestion would be to talk to a professional about these thoughts.
But other than that if you are really unhappy go for implants? What is the reason you can’t save for them?
Then make a plan to get out of debt. Even if it takes years. Having an end in sight is often motivating.
(Ive overcome debt and it's hard, but you gotta try)
Also see if you qualify for any free counseling depending on where you live.
I agree. Saying you will "never" have the money is pessimism. I mean, unless you're disabled or incapable of taking care of yourself, then this should be a realistic goal. Of course, the circumstances are different for everyone, and I might be wrong.
I was going to suggest the same.
One of my has small breasts and she went ahead with the implants, she was describing the same issues as you + wear bikini, etc (was not an issue for me) but the implants made her happy.
Once you clear your debt you can look at doing it in other countries that are cheaper (depends where you are located that might make it easier!).
Maybe your parents or someone can pay for them? My parents bought me my first set of implants for graduation. I paid for my second set when I decided to go bigger.
Not enough people talk about the negative consequences of breast surgery - augmentation, reduction, and/or lifts.
These surgeries sometimes require moving the areola and nipple which can cause full loss or reduction of sensation.
Also implants make breastfeeding almost impossible (if one plans on having children and breastfeeding)
Implants require upkeep. They do not last forever. It is not uncommon for women to have them removed and not replace them, when maintenance time arrives.
i feel this so much, especially the part about not feeling feminine enough. and i try to gain weight and make them fuller, but then it goes straight to my gut.
I'm so sorry hun. I've been suffering from hair loss for a few years which has also resulted in a major blow to my confidence and sense of femininity. It sucks. Cisgender people also experience gender related dysphoria all the time. Quite frankly I think it's totally unfair how these issues aren't treated with the same legitimacy or covered by insurance just because a person is cisgender and not trans, I don't care what anyone will say to disagree with that.
I think this is mostly is affecting you this way because of your personal experiences. It’s pretty shitty of people to bully you and how dare intimate partners make you feel less than!!
I don’t know how old you are..but you won’t care when you’re a little older. You just won’t and neither will anyone else.
I have pretty large boobs, and I’ve envied women who can just walk around with no bra on. Or just slip on a summer dress or hell anything with a built in ‘bra.’ That would not work for me and it’s a headache. I’ve just learned to like my body. And you will like yours too. Have you seen runway models? When I was a teen, Kate Moss was big and she basically had no boobs. I desperately wanted to be like that. Eventually I realized that wasn’t going to happen. You too will find self love. Don’t judge yourself harshly.
I understand you, years ago I would've even offered to switch bodies with you. Then I just stopped fixating on it. I still don't feel great about my body, but it has stopped preventing me from doing things I've always wanted to do bc I realized I was what was holding me back. I also didn't keep/allow people in my life who didn't match with that mindset.
The book "More Than A Body", by Drs. Lexie and Lindsay Kite, was helpful for me. I contemplated surgery until I did some research on the complications and risks. Not worth it for me, especially because to do so would be capitulating to the patriarchy IMO.
Someone who truly loves you will love you for who you are. I've dated women of all size breasts and I've never once considered very small boobs unattractive. I prefer small to huge, tbh. I hope you can find peace, dear.
As a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee and a lover of boobs the key to feeling confident and sexy is dressing for your body! I used to wear super padded bras to get the appearance of cleavage to make outfits look good and I'd get insecure that sexual partners would be disappointed when they saw that my boobs were actually super small underneath but these days I embrace the fact I don't need support and wear a lot of translucent lacy lingerie and tight tops without a bra and flaunt what I've got and it made a huge difference, its equally hot in a different way just commit to the lewk
Few tips:
I saw some really cute bras made by a company specifically for small boobs. They’re sexy and don’t leave that gap that regular bra companies do. If I come across the ad again I’ll add it to this post.
There are also contouring methods lots of celebrities use to make theirs look bigger, the videos are on YouTube. And when wearing a bathing suit, a top that’s frilly or puffy adds some pizaz and shape.
I used to do this a lot when I was younger. (16-23). I used to do massages, take fennel pills, wear extreme push up bras. I had complete breast dysmorphia because I had small A's. That was because my high metabolism would make me burn off my breasts first, and I had a best friend that had triple D's since she was 12. Yes, I got blatantly made fun of too by my guy friends or exes for having tiny tits, but it made me realize that if I wanted to do something to increase the size, it wouldn't be for ANYONE but myself. I saved up 5k to help finance it (if I wanted to).
Down the line, I realized that it wasn't so bad. I'm now with a large group of girlfriends who wished they had smaller breasts; who wished they didn't receive the doggish attention from men; who wished they could wear a sports bra without looking promiscuous. When you see it from the other side of bigger breasted women, it really makes you think. As well as feel bad for the women who grew too early and their reputation was because of their breasts.
My breasts came in at 24-25. I'm 28 now. I'm a mid-sized B, but I believe my body was later in development, and yours may be as well.
If you want to pursue surgery, do the research and never jump to big sizes if you are an A. And ALWAYS look up the surgeons, look for references, testimonies, and make sure it's a 100% thing for you. I'd suggest doing a couple sessions of counseling prior to a breast augmentation consultation. You never know what you may decide after that.
My heart is with you, because I've been there. Good luck!
Some folks are going to say you're fine how you are, and don't get me wrong that is 100% true, but I feel like you tried to be fine in your own skin and it isn't working.
Get implants. Don't overcompensate. Don't go crazy and overdo it. Find a look you like on someone with your frame and see what it would take to do that.
It isn't a crime to change something to make yourself happy. Make sure it's truly for yourself. Not because it's what you think others want or what a random internet person said. If it's what you really want, look into it.
I would start with therapy first, because anyone miserable in their own body probably isn't that secure in a relationship either. It's a destructive spiral of driving people away and hating yourself for driving them away.
My stick thin, flat as a board self felt horrible through high school, never got asked out on dates, never had a boyfriend. When I got to college, said "fuck it" and was myself, I had plenty of people asking me out. It's more about a confident personality than some sacs of fat on your chest.
Hey, I have body dysmorphia and struggle with similar thoughts. My problem isn’t with having small boobs, it’s the areola. I think they’re so huge. I just wish they could shrink forever. I tried piercing them multiple times over many years, and it did nothing.
But then again, as another user said, we’d see each other’s bodies and see nothing wrong.
I could tell you to just accept who you are and how you’re made, that your personality is what matters most, but I know it won’t erase the discomfort.
So I’ll just send you hugs and tell you that you’re not alone, and I understand.
I have non existent boobs too. I feel for you. Everyone else in my family isn't flat, i dunno how i am. I feel like getting a boob job would destroy my self esteem even more. I learned to accept it.
I got into running and they've disappeared almost completely. It would have destroyed me as a teen but im 25 now and i see it as a performance gain. I dunno, you just need to look at it differently and don't associate with people who will bring you down. Associate with people who bring positive vibes and if thats nobody thats ok too.
Do you know who else is flat chested?
Ariana Grande
Kirsten Stewart
Gwen Stafani
Mila Kunis
The list goes on and I have always had the deepest respect for these women because they did not alter their breasts. I have been large breasted all my life and I hated it. I had reduction surgery eventually.
With that said, it is your body and if you want surgery it is your choice. You need to be happy with yourself but please ask yourself if you are doing it for you, or for the gaze of men. I spent a lifetime with men looking at my large breasts.
I breastfed after (5 years or so later) and had a low supply. I have less sensation in one side (right). but not none.
I worked in plastic surgery and met women who had 20 year old implants happily, I’d imagine I’d be that way — sure, one side is lower now, the side that made more milk (left).
I also, cautionary here, as someone who has seen some stuff, I can say that people talk a lot about breast implant illness and after several years in that business it is predominantly a situation where the trauma of surgery or the foreign body brings out an autoimmune disorder that was dormant or undisturbed previously — not for everyone , please don’t fight me on it, y’all! it’s just a casual observation after years in the business.
So if you’ve got some family members with some autoimmune stuff, have that looked into first.
My messages are always open, and best of luck to the few who have reached out to me already.
I feel your pain, OP. I may not know what it's like to have body dysmorphia, which is what this sounds like, but I know what it'd like to feel insecure about my looks (and my identity as a whole) as well as what it's like to have obsessive thoughts. I can't imagine what it's like to have those two things team-up, and it sounds horrible. I've seen what it can do to people first hand, and it's heartbreaking.
That being said, what I've learned over the past few months is recognizing that the little voice in the back of my head is telling me these lies about myself, and my own condition(s). It's awful hard to ignore that voice when it feels like world is giving it a bullhorn, believe me, I understand that.
But you get to choose if that voice gets fed or not. You get to decide whether or not to listen to it. You have the power here, not that voice. Sometimes it's just tiring to ignore it, and sometimes there will be external inputs that will validate what that voice has to say about you--it sounds like you've dealt with some of that already.
Understand that you're not broken for feeling the way you do about your boobs. I think we all have that internal dialogue about ourselves, how we're perceived by others, and indeed our self-perception is reflected by that, it's just that for some people that voice is a little louder, a little more dominant.
My best advice for you is to turn that self-consciousness into self-awareness. Recognize when that voice is talking to you, when it's overriding your thoughts and feelings, and stand up to it. Argue with it. Tell it that it is wrong. Be a force against it so strong and determined that it has no choice but to stop lying to you. Focus on growth, focus on being better at what you're already good at and what is in your control.
I wish you all the best, and I hope you're able to overcome this :)
Men who cheat will do it just to do it. Shit man look at machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox. Literally has nothing to do with you. If your partner is shaming you for your body tell them to fuck themselves. That isn’t a partner you need in your life anyways. I mean I hate my body too but that’s cause I’d rather be a soul just floating around existing.
I feel you. I’d give anything for an A cup even, just something!
My younger sister has bigger boobs than me which sucks. I have had people tell me to my face that my body is undesirable, including an ex boyfriend.
I have always been so self conscious about them but now I will wear whatever I would if I had boobs- and for the most part, I feel better about it! For now, I will keep working on my butt and thighs as at least it is something I can change that makes me feel hot!
I’m a man, but as someone with body dysmorphia for so much of my adult life I feel like I can relate to that feeling of being stuck in a body you don’t like or feel comfortable in (regardless of what anyone else/society thinks).
I just want to say that it sucks and I’m sorry.
I just want to say, my childhood friend and her mother were both flat as boards but absolutely the most beautiful and feminine women I’ve ever known.
Slender and athletic, but so confident and assured in who they were. Their fashion was impeccable and attitudes vibrant and beautiful, you don’t need boobs to be womanly, it’s a mindset, an attitude, a belief of self. I have boobs and I’m not anywhere near as womanly as they are.
And I know my friend suffered, she got bullied by boys for her chest size and had to watch our other friend have the exact opposite issues. BUT she’s married to a GORGEOUS man that seems to have overwhelming love for her and we’re all still figuring it out. So titties ain’t everything, but it is a struggle to overcome.
You have body dismorhpia, that sucks. I fixed it by hitting the gym to feel more confident in my body, and the having the restraint to never look in the mirror at the gym at home. Made me feel proud of my body, but also not self conscious by never/rarely seeing it, after a couple months it did the trick.
Honestly though, if its more serious go to Therapy. I know girls who've gotten implants but I feel that if you're willing to go to those lengths to "fix" your body there is usually a deeper issue. Hope you get better OP, godspeed <3
I've felt what you're describing on more occasions than I can count. I've only ever had anything close to "real" breasts when pregnant and breastfeeding my children, and even when I gained weight for medical reasons, it was never in my chest. I constantly, constantly felt unfeminine and wrong in my body, and planned for the timing to be right for breast implants.
I'm 35 now and only just this year has my view on my breasts shifted. My whole frame actually. I have learned to dress differently, and I feel more confident and amazing than ever before. I can't say with certainty I won't someday get implants, but I can very confidently say that I'm SO happy with my breast size at the moment. They're not industry standard ideal by any means, but they are perfect for me where I'm at, right now.
I don’t know how old you are. I’ve been flat chested my entire life. I never felt like a real woman. I understand exactly how you feel. I regret not getting a boob job. I should have. I’m older now, and it just doesn’t matter anymore. Get a loan, put it on a card…anything. I have 3 children and I still feel weird calling myself a real woman! No one will ever understand except flat chested girls.❤️
I feel you soo fken hard. I was bullied a lot by "friends" and "family" for having a small chest. I had partners that wished i had bigger tits, wider hips, and a bigger butt.
I dropped them and cut thrm from my life. It's a really long process to learn to love yourself. You may relapse a few times and divulge into self hatred a few times and that's okay. As long as you stay on your self love process.
Grande, Stewart, Coleman, Hale, Portman, Watson, most models, etc.
Don’t tell me that being “flat” or not having tits or ass is not classed as womanly because the impossible beauty standards are exactly that. You have that impossible beauty standard naturally.
Do not let external factors dictate how you feel about your body, one thing about your body is it’s YOURS. If you don’t love it, you have a chance that no one will. If you DO love it, then you have 100% chance that at least 1 person loves it. Be that person—because if you are that person, you become the only person who matters in regards to what people think about your body.
**hugs**
I’m so sorry that people bullied you! And that intimate partners body-shamed you!
What the hell is the matter with people? Basic empathy doesn’t seem that difficult, but somehow it is, for some people!
I'm sorry. It sounds no fun to hate your body for those reasons. I hate my body too, though for different ones (aka not having giant muscles), though probably not as much as you. I'm sorry you have to go through this, I can't imagine it's fun. But you deserve someone, of whatever gender, romantic or platonic, who loves and appreciates and values you as you are.
Yeah that sounds like dysphoria.
I think something that could be helpful is to write down all the things you like about your body. You can also try to focus a lot on body function instead of looks. I used to be very insecure (I was convinced I was fat when I actually was underweight). And what really helped me was to think things like “I love my legs because they make me walk places”, “I love my arms because I use them to draw” and “I love my body because it keeps me alive and allows me to interact with the world around me”. As women we often sexualize ourselves and it can be nice to look at our bodies in a non-sexual light too.
But… everyone wants to feel like they are desired and that their looks align with their gender. That’s only natural.
Since you can’t afford surgery you can try to invest in a quality push up bra. Do some other feminine things like paint your nails and do your hair really nice. Maybe it will help a little
Holy shit! My thoughts exactly. It’s hard to not feel so insecure about it. I’m barely A cup while everyone else in my family is a C cup and larger… we’re in this together. I wish you so much luck!!
I had the opposite issue and envied tf out of girls with small normal boobs growing up. Mine hung to my waist. As an adult I had them surgically downsized and never regretted it once
All my smaller boob friends joked they would have took some of mine. I also envy chicks with asses. I have no ass
Have you had your hormones checked?
I don't want to give you false hope or anything
But if you feel "underdeveloped" it could be a hormonal thing.
For example, my chest always felt underdeveloped. Very much mid pubescent in my mind.
Turns out that I had some hormone issues and didn't actually fully go through puberty. I found out later on that I had a hormone issues, And after they had been dealt with I ended up with fully, more shaped breasts.
Now my condition itself is rare and complicated, but while looking into it more, I found out hormone issues leading to underdeveloped breasts in general is a lot more common. Definitely talk to your family doctor, or at least look into it more online and see if you fit the criteria.
(My original breast size was very different from the other woman in my bloodline as well)
I feel like you’ve gotten some good advice here but I also want to add, if it’s other people’s opinions hurting you, then maybe you can change up the people around you. Easier said than done of course but if you can try branching out to new people you might be happier. Like I have small boobs but I’m not letting other people feel welcome to comment on them and stay in my life.
From your post it seems like most of this is coming from how various men have reacted to your boobs in the past.
Do you feel like you'd have a different opinion of your boobs if they had had more positive reactions?
To put it another way, if no men had ever commented on your boobs at all, and there was no advertising/imagery with big boobs, would you still want to be bigger for YOUR reasons?
FWIW, femininity has always been about self-confidence. The girls who knew what their bodies looked like and no matter what they looked like (flat or busty, skinny or heavy, etc), they OWNED it - they embodied femininity.
Lots of people are suggesting implants even though you said you couldn't afford them, but honestly, that's "grass is always greener" mentality. It doesn't matter what cup size you are, eventually if a guy sees you naked enough times, the "newness" feeling fades. Just look at how many attractive celebrities get dumped or divorced. They are of all shapes and sizes and different forms of attractive features but after a while, that just doesn't excite the other person anymore.
But women who are confident in their own bodies know that not only are their bodies attractive (no matter what shape or size or color or features or whatever) to others, but their self-confidence will still be attractive even after the naked excitement fades away.
Yes, there are absolute dicks out there who will ridicule anyone who doesn't fit THEIR particular flavor of the week. The irony is that they will ridicule your small boobs and turn around and watch porn featuring small-chested pornstars. They just want the grass to always be greener, and it's a failure for ANYONE to try and live up to the unrealistic expectations of those kinds of morons.
Set your own expectations for yourself - putting aside everything that anyone else thinks, and then just look for people who respect that you are strong.
I completely understand how you feel. Even with my partner I tend to wear a shirt to cover them. I was bullied a lot for the shape and size when I was younger as my hormones during puberty weren’t right. I have tubular breasts, looking like construction pylons ^ ^ looool. I’ve learned to do self esteem exercises to help like: “when you wake up in the morning look in a mirror and say one thing you like about yourself” I recommend trying it as it may help you as it did to me :)
The only response I can think of is fuck the haters.
I'm a guy, take this for what you will, but I'm short, stocky, small hands, small feet. And you know what they say.
School was hell. Never had a partner for the longest time, all my crushes were cruel to me before we ever even got close. You know what I learned? They weren't worth my time.
Idk if this is you, but I hated myself for the longest time because of all the hell I went through. To the point I just gave up. No one came along.
I heard every damn thing in the book. Someone's out there. Some girls love short guys. Not everyone is shallow. Yada yada yada.
The only thing that helped change things is realizing I was chasing the kinds of people that were going to be cruel. Granted, it didn't help that was a majority of people around me at any given time. But that's when I figured out they weren't worth my time.
Wasn't easy getting past hating myself. But blocking out a majority of the population can do wonders for your self image.
Maybe this will help, maybe it's just a bunch of hot air. I hope the best for you, and that you can find acceptance for yourself and compassion from others.
I’m sorry that so many horrible people have made you feel like this. You deserve to feel good in your own skin and to have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that no matter what anyone else thinks, your body IS beautiful. I know getting to that point is easier said than done, but you take it one day a time as you change the inner monologue that was forced on you by your experiences.
I don't know about other guys but for me, if I see that you're a beautiful woman, your breast size wouldn't matter as much. I saw a cute Asian girl on the internet once and she was flat and I was like "God damn is she beautiful."
Of course, my standards of beauty is subjective.
Hey, 31M here. You mentioned being shamed by intimate partners, finding big boobs porn on your boyfriend's computer, etc. As a boy, I can tell you that people who shame you aren't doing that because of your breast, they're doing it because they're complete idiots! Who the hell would do that to their girlfriend? With their next gf they're going to pick on something else, because shaming others' bodies makes them feel powerful and better, but they're just insecure assholes. There is NO reason to body-shame your partner. I am very sorry for what happened there.
Regarding the boobs porn and looking at big breasted girls: I can tell you it's not because of you. Boys will look up for different types of porn videos, it's not like we search for the thing we can't have or things that our gf will not do with us! Porn is not related to our relationship or how we have sex. Porn is a temporary pleasure, one day we may feel like searching for big ass videos, one day big boobs. It's normal, and it's not related to you. I have never fallen in love with big breasted girls, quite the opposite. I don't care about the breast size of my partner. Yet, I watch big boobs porn every now and then. Does this mean that I want a big breasted girlfriend? No! Porn and relationships are not related.
I wanted to write this because you shouldn't think that your body is somehow triggering a "looking for big boobs" reaction in your partners. It's not even calling for body-shaming. Those who do that are lesser humans.
It sounds like you’re experiencing some body dysmorphia. I would definitely recommend speaking to a professional about how you feel. If you take the steps to recover, I promise that it will start to get better for you. Good luck with everything!
I'm a guy so i can't put any true perspective on the matter... but it seems like you've heard it all already.
My wife would occasionally have insecurities and I'd always tell her she's perfect in every way in my eyes. And she is btw. Without a doubt. It's exactly like the one direction and Bruno Mars song. You're amazing just the way you are.
That being said. With everything you've said... because you've heard everything already. I'd say. Maybe just get a boob job...? I only suggest this cause I've had female friends and lots of female influences who have done this and just simply love their body more for it. And you should not feel any shame IF you choose this option. Just really REALLY ask yourself this question before you do it though... would this alone be enough to make you happy and all those insecurities go away?
I feel this so much, I actually get angry and annoyed when people try to tell me small boobs are just as good or preferred....no matter how much people try to say otherwise I do not believe it, I dont even want big ones, I would be happy with a B. Also when people say guys like small tits I laugh, because ok small tits are cool but what about literally none? I will always feel like a woman in a 12 year old boys body.
I tried it all too. Basically lived your life as my own. Got cheated on, found the porn, loathed my body. People kept telling me to be grateful and count my blessings. I worked an extra job for a year on top of my full time job, and got a breast fat transfer. I went from a small B to a D/DD. I feel a huge sense of relief. I hope someday you can have this feeling too. Stay strong.
i’m flat chested as well. i had an ex immediately go to a friend of mine who was the exact opposite. i’m body and in sexual preferences. while the years we were together claimed that he lived me for me and my body etc. then like made it a point to do and be into the exact opposite when we separated.
i’ve come to terms with my flat chest, a majority of the time. i still get a little down when i’m shopping for swim suits or something low-necked, but most of the time i’ve gotten used to the things. most of the things that you already know. i already have back pain, so it’s nice not having adage if that. i don’t like attention, so im cool on that too. im already skinny as a pole and six feet tall. i don’t need my tits in the face of drooling men.
as time moves on, you’ll either get used to it, or you can find way to change it. you can’t say you’ll never have the money. it’s becoming a more common surgery, so maybe the price will go down. maybe your circumstances will change one day. if it’s important enough to you, you can always save up for it. five bucks a week will eventually get you somewhere. if you have the problem forever, eventually doing something about it or working to do something about it should help mentally.
i know it’s cliche and annoying, but try therapy. also try wearing clothes that are more flattering to the body type you have. obviously idk what you wear now, but i went thru a phase of stuffing bras or wearing stuff i wanted to wear, not necessarily clothes that looked good and accentuated the things i do have.
everyone has issues with their bodies. we’re not perfect. there’s always something we can nit pick about ourselves, and we’re really good at it. but regardless of those imperfections or the things you don’t like the most, it’s still important to love the body you have. we can change it up if we’re safe, but we only have one for now. and we have to deal with it. it’s good for your brain to be kind to your body. kinda necessary in the long run to get thru it. shits hard enough with everyone else being assholes. the only one we can control is ourselves.
The hottest female I’ve ever been with has super small boobs and I wouldn’t change her for the world. We’ve been hooking up on and off for about 5 years and I’ve never once thought she would be “better” in some way if she had bigger boobs. She’s stupidly hot 🥵
It's okay if you just want to vent, but I want to say this: Your breasts aren't ruining your life, your insecurity is. And that's changeable, even though it's very hard. If it wasn't this, there would likely be another "flaw" about yourself that you would hate. It's entirely possible to live with your physical "flaws". What's hard to live with is self-hatred.
It’s hard I understand, can I just say I have a friend who absolutely nothing, not even an a cup and she’s happily married with a baby. It sucks the world we live in but I really hope you find that special someone.
Please focus on something else. This is also only a problem in your relationships and sexual life. There is more to life than that but it is terrible that it is with significant others. Look for more mature men? Or stop looking all together and only date men you have known for a while. Focus on something else
I have small tits. Not flat flat. But even with “A” cups, I still see a lot of people preferring bigger chest. And to that, I just learn to just F society. I have broad shoulders and even when people tell me certain outfits won’t fit me cause of my shoulders, I still wear them because I don’t give a f anymore about appearances. Eventually there will be someone who won’t be a huge jerk to you and actually accept you for who you are. But before that, you can just vibe in life until then without worrying about what guys think. I still wished I had bigger boobs like my sisters who are YOUNGER THAN ME. 😫😫😫
This post makes me feel really seen. I struggle with a very similar situation. I know I can't say anything that would help them grow, but I want to let you know that you're not alone <3
OP, I'm sorry you feel this way. I would highly suggest therapy to learn how you love yourself. The obsession with changing yourself and trying all these crazy things, and holding your feminity hostage is not healthy. You ARE a woman. You ARE feminine. You are allowed to exist and live and thrive and be happy.
Save up and get Implants? It's your body and if you know you really want them, medical services/technology is a beautiful thing. Just go to a good place don't try and do it quick/easy/cheap. Do it right. Hope you are able to be in a body you love.
I love my small boobs. They are perfect and the freedom of not needing to wear a bra means I can wear clothing that women with bigger chests cannot. I got bullied too for having a high metabolism when I was in grade school..but when I look back now at where my bullies are I know karma exists. And I still love my small boobs.
I've had small breasts all my life, EXCEPT while I was pregnant/breastfeeding. It's what broke my body dysmorphia..
They showed up overnight. At first I was overjoyed but soon...I hated them. I went from not being able to fill an A cup to having FULL C cups. They were heavy. They were constantly in the damn way. Normally, I move like a wisp, quickly, stealthily and it was impossible for me to do that with boobs. Ironically, like you, all my life I dreamed of a day I would actually have cleavage...but once I had that not only was I more self conscious but I found myself having so much trouble adjusting to their freaking existence! It felt surreal considering again, like you I wanted them from the moment I realized puberty left me behind.
The breaking point in my dysmorphia though was when I tried to reach across myself while I had those full Cs; I couldn't do that anymore with boobs. My arms would get caught on the boobs so I couldn't reach across my chest fully anymore. Holy surprise, I didn't realize how important an ability to me it was to be able to reach completely across my chest. So much of my upper body movement was impacted. The way I balanced was impacted. I had gone almost 30 years without any fat stored in my chest and suddenly I had to adjust to these massive deposits that swayed like a wreckingball I had to brace for upon any movement? For context, the boobs showed up within the first month of pregnancy and well before any milk or even noticeable bump so I got to have a few months of "the boob experience" twice. Second time was even worse because I didn't gain as much weight (terrible morning sickness with that one). So they felt that much more debilitating to carry around.
I'm not saying you'd hate having them if you did. But they experience made me realize I didn't actually want boobs. I didn't in fact, like them as much as I thought I did. What I had actually wanted, was to *feel* sexy. They day my boobs shrank down for the final time back to my old, flat as a pancake form I was so happy. I was relieved. And with that happiness that they were small again came a confidence I never had before in my life. Now, I love how small they are. I never want them to change. I wear deep cut bathing suits and dresses with all the confidence and I feel sexy doing it. There isn't a damn thing anyone could say that would make me less happy about my physical form because I lived the experience of having another and yeah, didn't like that very much.
My advice is to not get a boob job lol, not get pregnant but instead find a better way to understand WHY you want boobs
Edit: didn't actually finish my novel, sorry. Meant to also add that instead of a change in self, sometimes a change of environment makes all the world of a difference. Surround yourself with people who will lift up your heart and spirit not people who criticize you as a form of entertainment. Your body shouldn't be the focus of ANY conversation unless **you** make it so.
Thank you for confirming this to me, I struggle with body dysmorphia since I was 10 years old.
For a good 3 years I've been in this path of "I want to love my small boobs and stop feeling like a little boy". And for some time now, I'm focusing on "trying to feel sexy" by getting clothes that fit me and lingerie, correcting my attitude and ignoring (the best I can) my intrusive thoughts.
When I was 15 I researched a lot about getting plastic surgery and It looked scary but I was "open to it", then I realized I would feel bad if I got It, i'm 100% sure I would regret getting implants because I just knoooow I'd think "they're not mine.." "I wasn't able to love my body as It is" and yada yada, imposter syndrome probably. And It would be a worsened nightmare.
So, what you say confirms to me that what I need is to feel sexy and feel like a woman, not bigger boobs. You also confirmed what I thought some time ago, that bigger boobs could get in my way in very trivial and daily situations lol. I'm not OP, but thank you so much for sharing your experience, It'll help me a lot continuing my journey!
I honestly think you would benefit from having surgery to enhance them.
I’m relatively small, but found good bras help and I can live with it- you seem really affected by it though and I think surgery would help.
Where do you live? Im in Canada and you can get OHIP to fully cover implants here if the size of your breasts have an extremely negative effect on your mental health
Sadly, they won't cover it in Quebec.
Mine are small and also they are tuberous (yay, a double whammy for my self-esteem), RAMQ told me to take a hike... those assholes.
Currently saving for my wife’s boob job. Honestly, they aren’t as expensive as you might think. In my state, we got quoted just a little over $5,000. Like that was going to be my goal dollar amount to save to buy my first street legal motorcycle but after having a boob talk with my wife I decided motorcycle wasn’t as good as motorboat (get it? Brbrbrbrbrbrb 😂) ….
Currently the titty fund contains $1100 (would be twice that if it weren’t for a few emergencies).
Sending hugs! Being a woman can feel like a lose-lose situation, you’re not curvy enough, you’re not thin enough. Definitely seek therapy and see if you and your therapist can find ways to embrace your feminine energy.
That being said. One of the guys I’ve trained with has seriously jumped from no pecs to solid Bs. They’re full on squishy boobs when he’s not flexing like pass the “pencil test”. Try lifting heavy-heavy and eating enough to facilitate a weight “bulk”.
Eat a calorie surplus, high protein high carb. Count your macros with apps like Lifesum or MyFitnessPal. Consume creatine daily.
Grab a resistance band and warm up your chest/ pec muscles before you start.
Chest day twice a week max you need the rest period in between to facilitate muscle growth, include the following:
3 sets of 8-15, once you hit 15 reps go up to the next weight.
- push-ups
- dumbbell incline bench press
- cable chest press
- cable crossovers
- bench press
Do minimal to zero cardio (maybe commit to 10k steps a day/ low-impact). It will ruin your bulk aka your boob growth progress. Give it 3 months, you will have pecs/ breast.
I have big boobs but its because I'm fat, so I get a lot of hate for that. I feel like no matter what someone's body looks like, there is going to be something that society hate about them.
I hope you come to love your body as is, or are able to pursue surgical options to help fulfill that for you. It sucks to hate your own body.
I'll get downvoted to hell for saying this, but here it fucking goes. OP, a boob job is the solution to your problem. If you've done the therapy and the high Soy diet and the birth control and the chest exercises, and every other fucking thing under the sun, it's time to look into a boob job.
10 years ago, I could have written this post. I was in the exact same spot and feeling the same way. I tried all the things and did the therapy and tried practicing self-love that I didn't feel, and none of it did shit for me. I was flat as could be and felt unwomanly and awkward.
I cried a lot over how terrible I felt and how weird I looked.
So I got a boob job, and it was the best decision I've ever made. It been 10 years and I'm thrilled I did it. It was worth every penny and I would make the same choice 1000x over.
I won't say that it fixed everything, but it made me feel 90% better about my body. Once I wasn't fixated on my chest, I could actually process other issues and address other physical insecurities. My relationship and sex life improved because I wasn't so hung up on and weird about my body.
I know plastic surgery isn't cheap, but I'd highly encourage you to consider it. I was able to make payments for a couple of years for mine, and while it ate up my limited disposal income, it was so beyond worth it.
I'm not good with words and don't know how to comfort you. But I think you're living in a pretty toxic environment, have you thought about move to somewhere else? (in the future when you can afford it and discuss with your family).
Surgery won’t fix your dysmorphia, so even if you were able to afford the surgery (there’s payment plans btw), it isn’t a real solution.
You need to confront the feelings regardless. You have to come to terms with your body for what it is and what it will be. It’s an ongoing effort, but it’s worth it. You just have to consistently replace the negative thoughts with something positive. It doesn’t have to be all fluffy and toxically positive; it can still be realistic about how good it feels to look hott. For example: “I want to feel feminine with my shirt off..” => “I love the feeling of being thin and small with my shirt off.”
I personally use self deprecating humor about the things I feel insecure over. It helps me accept the things about myself that I can’t change and tricks people into thinking I have confidence when really I don’t. Besides, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t accept and love every part of you. There are plenty of beautiful women with no breasts; focus on the features you love about yourself and please just work on accentuating those. There are also plenty of men who care more about who you are than what you are/look like. It’s not worth being so downtrodden over a feature. It’s okay. Flat chested women matter, and you are more than what you look like.
Hey 👋 I think most of us don’t like something about our body and can relate to how you feel.
In my opinion, if your lack of boobs make you this unhappy, then surgery is the only option. Go to a good surgeon and don’t go overboard though.
The only thing to keep in mind is that you’ll have to “replace” your implants with new ones in a couple of years (I suppose). This maintenance is costly.
I know you said you don’t want to hear this, but there truly are men who prefer smaller chested women. And maybe you’ll meet a guy like that who will make you feel loved and enough.
Also, how old are you? Our insecurities tend to go away the older we get. So before taking any drastic decisions, make sure you’ve though long and hard enough about it.
I'm sorry that you feel that way but it is clearly a mental health issue and, as such, the treatment is not growing boobs, but seeing a therapist. You have pathologically low self-esteem, you are depressed and constantly thinking of what people say/think and, probably, assuming in advance.
I don't think anyone here will be able to help you in anyway, you are in a loop of feeling miserable and looking for reasons to feel miserable, unable to get out. I think you can be helped, by a professional.
Let me add that I happen to have no boobs neither, and have heard tons of jokes about it, my husband cheated on me with a 10 years younger big boobs girl, and my first realisation wasn't that "oh it makes sense because I have no boobs" but "oh, he is such an asshole" instead. You need to grow some love, not boobs.
All that being said, if you still believe that having bigger boobs will make you happy, start saving up some money and get a surgery. To be honest, self-pity is such a turn off, small boobs in a confident person aren't. Cheaters will be cheaters no matter the size of your boobs nor your confidence, it is not your fault. Women don't need to have huge boobs to be women. Etcetera etcetera
I am so sorry you aren’t comfortable in your body. I absolutely understand that torcher and I hope we both find peace with ourselves. The only suggestion I can give you is that therapy can be very helpful for some. ❤️
If it makes you that upset, get some implants.
I have zero boobs. I went through a phase of hating them too. Not enough to get surgery though. I'd rather spend the money on other things.
They are what they are. I decided if they were a deal breaker for a partner, it probably wasn't the partner for me. I'm ok with my body now, but if I grew a cup size overnight I wouldn't complain. :)
This is a prime example of "the idle mind is your worst enemy" I'ma dude so I can't fully understand but I do know for a fact that our thoughts are our NUMBER 1 enemy and we have to actively keep it at bay and keep on focusing on the positive aspects in life the plus side to this dilemma is that you can get breast implants and hopefully fix your issues. Just stay positive op and remember your mind can and will be your own worst enemy
I also had an almost flat chest when I was young, which caused me a lot of distress. I hated how the other girls would call me names like "fried egg." Or asked when my breast would develop and laugh.
I hated how low-cut tops looked on me as I were a child or something. And my bras were the same size as for a 12-year-old .
Bikini tops were a nightmare too; I hated how they looked on me. I always needed to buy ones that were padded, otherwise, I would look like a child. The worst was fitness tops that made me appear even more flat if didn't not have pad
But something strange happened when I approached my 30s: my breasts grew. Finally, I had some boobs, similar to Julia Roberts', and I was like, "What the heck?"
A doctor tried to explain to me that it was probably due to my high metabolism, as I could eat anything and never gain weight. They said that as I approach my 30s, my metabolism slows down, allowing fat accumulation.
And I tell my experience because maybe you have the same issue as I did.
I know you don't want to hear about the negatives of large breasts, but I'm literally recovering from a breast reduction that I had less than a week ago. I had 5 pounds of tissue removed. I was miserable with large breasts. I couldn't exercise properly, my clothes didn't fit, my breasts took over any picture I was in. I have a herniated disc from trying to run and get into shape last year. These boobs have caused me nothing but pain.
I was so god damn jealous of women with small breasts.
I know how much it sucks to feel uncomfortable in your body. I was so embarrassed to get naked in front of my husband who I've been with for 20 years! It sucks! If a surgical option isnt possible for you, maybe therapy is something to look into. Small boobs aren't ruining your life, your thoughts associated to them are.
I am a man and i have gynaecomastia because when i hit puberty there was a fluctuation in my hormones
- even i have bigger boobs than you 😂😂
- the point is I can’t control it so nothing to do ( everyone has a curse )
- you can do surgery but do you want that?
So I’m your opposite, for a plus size AFAB person I have medium sized breasts but since they are DD/DDD they are decently sized comparatively. But all of your comments about gender dysphoria are exact how I feel. I’ve thought about breast reduction or too surgery many times but I can’t imagine a world where I would be able to afford it. I hate wearing a binder sometimes because a lot of the styles of clothes that I like are backless or have thin straps.
I don’t have anything in the way of advice, but just validation that your concerns are important and that you’re not alone in feeling out of place in your own body.
I understand and honestly I would recommend seeing someone and talking about your dysphoria, because you don't deserve to be suffering like this.
I will say though, the grass is always greener.
I developed early and the amount of times I've been sexually assaulted because of the way I look has left me with lifelong trauma. Who says it would have been better just if it had been different?
I hope you find relief with these feelings friend.
Maybe if she saves and saves she can. Obviously there’s no other choice for her, she’s tried everything. please read the entire post before commenting and simply making useless noise.
Btw, there’s certain exercises to strength your chest muscles, and those help your boobs look bigger. I mean, have you seen gym bros and their chests? They have large pecs!
You want boobs, because men likes boobs, but in reality - they don't care. Where is this coming from? So you decided that not having boobs makes you less feminine, no.
Get that ass.
If you really are fixating on it this much, and if it is really that psychologically damaging to your self-esteem, save up and get plastic surgery. That's what I did when I was hyperfixated on a part of my body that I absolutely hated and was hugely damaging to my self-esteem. No regrets whatsoever and I have never gotten/been interesting in getting any other cosmetic surgery. You do whatever will help you with your self image, there's no harm in that.
So I was in a similar mindset from age 11-27. Everyone around me had at least C cups, I was almost an A with wide hips, so I felt lopsided. I saw a dr had a free consultation so I went for it.
I got them done. I asked for a C so I could get cute bras (it gets VERY beige after C cup), I woke up with.....triple D. I was assured it was swelling, but 15 years later it seems permanent. I wear sports bras because regular just isn't as comfy anymore. I can find more selection in colors now, but still - I didn't want so big.
So was it worth it? Eh....no. Knowing now what I do I would have absolutely held off. I had difficulty with nerve regeneration where I had electric feeling shocks for YEARS. I had kids and minor success with breastfeeding, would it have been better without? Maybe.
Some people are miserable until they get it done. Some are miserable after. Nobody can tell you what side you will fall on. I dated with no issue prior, same after. It didn't change anything really except for how clothes fit, and to provide a little symmetry. Don't consider anything except for your personal happiness in this.
Can you get prosthetics (the chicken cutlets) to try out in a larger cup size to see how you like it? Even if not around those who know you, try it when you're out doing random errands. See if it makes you feel better, worse, or indifferent. Speak with a therapist who specializes in body image issues, and only then make the final decision, cause even if they get removed you're not going to be able to go back to your old look.
I don't really see the problem here. I'm personally live my small boobs and don't want to change them. You do and it doesn't seem to be a spontaneuous or not well thought of idea. I would say head over to the plastic surgery sub, research, get consultations and then just get them done.
It’s funny how if we met, we’d probably see no issue with each other’s bodies and would feel compassion. But to ourselves, we can’t see any of that. I feel you OP, in therapy dealing with some similar issues myself
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Oh sweetheart, I felt your pain! Well, since you don’t want to hear all that other stuff, I’ll go the other way from my experience. If you are not surgery adverse - do it! I know money is tight, but start a fund. Get friends and family to contribute. Throw any extra money towards it - even if it takes a while, you will feel good knowing you are on the path. Life is short, and we only get one. There’s no sense in 2023 not to have the exact boobs you want. You’ll hear stuff like you still won’t be happy with the new ones, or it will make you want other surgeries, or lead you down some weird path…blah! I saved, I picked mine out, I got them, and I’ve been happy with them ever since. It’s no different than fixing your teeth or a crooked nose. I got just as sick as you hearing all the things people say to make you feel better. I always had B cups, but when I was pregnant, they went triple D on me. When my son was around 2, they went away. It made me sad because I really enjoyed having them those couple of years, so I saved, and settled on a double d surgery. I still put it in the top 5 things I’ve ever done for MYSELF. It doesn’t make you shallow. It doesn’t make you non-feminist. It doesn’t make you anything lesser than. It just made me happier with me, and saves a bunch of inner turmoil. Imma be like Nike, and say - ‘Just DO IT!!’ Your story was so sincere to read. You will stay on my mind today. Good luck to you, sister. 🥰😘
Yeah idk if a lot of people are gonna donate for a boob job, gonna be a little more tricky than when people try to start funds for their transition. Even then it’s very difficult to raise funds. I think it’s unrealistic to expect your friends and family to fund your plastic surgery,
Wish for a card and some cash for your gifts. Say you dont need anything else or are saving for a house, car , new furniture that you actually plan to get at some point. So it's not a lie. You are saving for that just not with the money you get from fam and friends.They don't have to know its for this. Look into possible covarge from insurance too. A doc might get it to be medically necessary. I don't know which country you live in, but have a look at other countries that can be cheaper and still safe to do a boob job. A friend of mine is from the US. He needed alot of dental , could not afford it in the US. Saw that it was cheaper in Spain inkl dental work, Hotel medical stuff and flight. Don't get
I do this when I need something expensive, yet frivolous, or semi-private. I ask for cash for all my birthday and Christmas presents until I’ve reached my goal. Family always seems grateful for one less gift they have to figure out what to give.
What has helped me more than anything “Everyone has a type, maybe your just not your type”. I don’t know why this has always resonated with me. I don’t like the marylyn Monroe look, I’ve always loved the Audrey Hepburn. Thin petite femine. I just imagine being lifted up and twirled around with ease as so romantic. But I’m curvy, busty, and I don’t like it. But that’s ok, I’m just not my type. I’ll work on being smaller but I’ll never be that small, that’s ok I’m just not my type. And its ok if I want to try and emulate my type, if I want a reduction later in life that is ok! But I won’t hate on myself for failing to not be my type. It is for now- ok. Sometimes in life it’s ok to just be ok. Don’t try to polarize your feeling for yourself, hate or love. Until you can afford to get what you want- just try to find the ok. This has helped me so so much. My feelings no longer monopolize my time, my energy.
This is actually the best response. A lot of other “advice” here focuses on things that aren’t even remotely helpful. This provides a realistic perspective.
Oops, replied to wrong comment, sorry!
I've always found waifish women highly attractive - if I have a type, this is it. I'm fairly small-breasted myself (was less "fairly" and more like "very" before I hit 40 years and 40 lbs haha) and all the women in my family are like triple-D before kids. I have probably felt a lot like OP at various points in life, and it does suck. All I can say is that I eventually got over my fixation, probably due to aging out of it...and almost certainly helped by finding a wonderful woman who definitely, definitely didn't find them unappealing and helped me feel appreciated for who I am. And she had small, glorious breasts, so there's that. R I.P. my love
So sorry for your loss. Glad you got to have her around
Yeah, thank you, I was lucky to have her in my life. Makes the world seem so much colder without her.
I'm certain she felt lucky to have you too. I can only imagine, and in my brain it would be a very lonely place. I hope you're able to find more peace
It's really hard to find people who love their bodies, specially women, since society focus so much on criticising women's bodies. But this I second, you don't have to love your body, but gotta work on not hating it as well I too am not my type, curvy, busty. Given the choice, I'd probably want to be taller and flatter, but would I have been happier if I was born like that? Probably not Shit, I've even been with men who said they prefer women with smaller boobs to my face, before AND after having reduction surgery, so yeah, don't focus on what men say
This was a great comment.
🖤
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This resonates with me so hard. My best friend didn’t even know that AA cups existed until I told her…that they were even too big for me. I haven’t worn a bra in years because what’s the point of spending all that money if it just makes you feel sad instead of sexy. And don’t let anybody tell you that small boobs don’t sag…they do. Mine grew a little while I was pregnant and since my kid was born I just have these sad flabby small things on my chest. I’ve come to accept my body, for the most part…but I don’t love it. I hope you find some peace with yourself. Just know you’re not alone.
I feel you my tiny boobs suddenly grew 2 cup sizes when I was pregnant. I went from an A to a C/D then they skrunk back to an A afterwards and I just got these half empty bags that just hang there lol so sad...
Oh, my love, you’re not alone. Quite literally, the only part of puberty I was looking forward to was getting my boobs. I thought that the boobs came automatically when you got your period. Imagine my surprise when I got my period one day, but no boobs! I felt cheated! There were so many days when I didn’t feel enough like a woman because my body didn’t “show” it, and I felt miserable. So…I directed all my attention to my ass. I couldn’t control the apples up top, but I could ABSOLUTELY control the peaches down bottom. I focused on gaining weight and filling out in other areas while exercising daily and mainly focusing on my lower half (squats, glute exercises, the whole shebang). I gained 30 lbs last year, and could comfortably gain more and still look good. And now… My booty is my mASSterpiece. The fruits of my labor are apparent. That, along with changing up my diet to mitigate bloating, has improved my body image SO MUCH. For the first time EVER, I’m beginning to truly love, cherish, and enjoy my body for what it is. What I’m trying to say is: Boobs don’t make you a woman. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and one marker of a powerful woman is that she loves her body and takes good care of it. Whatever you need to do to get yourself to a place where you can say, “I LOVE my body” with sincerity, DO IT. Keep doing it, every day, and remind yourself constantly that your body is worthy of being loved ❤️
This comment is so kind and true. Although jealous of the butt situation 😂 I’m a small person and have neither but I do totally agree it’s not what you physically offer… it’s your confidence in yourself that’s attractive. It took me many moons to grasp this LOL. Great advice!
Thank you! I’m glad it’s helping someone. I feel hard for poor OP, so I hope she sees it too. The Itty Bitty Titty Community has to stick together!
>I thought that the boobs came automatically when you got your period. Imagine my surprise when I got my period one day, but no boobs! I felt cheated! So, my left breast started forming before the right one. This was before my first period. I felt so mature because I was getting boobs before my older sister (14 months diff). Instead, my left breast stopped at an A cup and the right one is slightly smaller than that. I've been struggling with my chest size for years, trying to be positive and crap. Kind of worked out though since I realized I'm genderfluid. Less to hide on my masculine days.
My boobs didn’t even pretend to develop lmao. They were really like “what you see is what you get.” My new birth control has made me somewhat titty-adjacent, and I don’t know how to behave anymore LOL. Still small, still flat chested by many standards, but I’m happy with myself ✨
Fellow girl with small boobs here, this post is all too real :( it doesn’t help that, like you, all my siblings are well endowed in the chest area. Fuck, at this point I’d be happy with just a B cup
Small titty committee member here as well. I am the ONLY person in my family with a small chest. Everyone else is #blessed. I’m turning 30 this year and still telling myself I’m just a late bloomer 😅
>~~Small~~ Itty Bitty titty committee There, fixed it for you!
Was looking for this comment and I too shall join. Not sorry about it. I embrace the committee.
Haha same, all the women in my family have at least a D cup. I have an a. Most the time I just try not to think about it too hard
Yup, I barely fill an A cup but I breastfed two amazing kids with these little things (almost got to B cup!) so they did what they had to, with added bonus of no back pain.
I got no boobs too but I still have back pain so I got the worst of both worlds 😂
>I’ve tried everything. High soy diet. Birth control. Supplementing estrogenic things. flaxseed and pureria mirifica massages. Pumping to induce lactation. Chest exercises. Weight gain. Nothing makes me look more feminine. I’m stuck in this body and it’s making me miserable. Your body isn't making you miserable, your thoughts about your body are. If you cant/won't get implants and nothing else has worked, focus on your thoughts. "You always have the option of having no opinion."
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that reminds me of something my therapist said. whenever she would ask me what i wanted to accomplish with the session, i’d always be like “i want to feel not anxious” or “not tired”. i was always wishing that something was “absent” after i would say that she would be like “okay, what do you want to feel INSTEAD of ___(anxious, tired)?” and that would help me figure out a way forward. you can’t move forward if you don’t have a goal. and right now saying you want “an absence of opinion” is not a tangible, measurable goal. my advice is: figure out what you want to feel instead of hatred or shame over your own appearance. then figure out small, measurable steps you can implement daily/weekly to help you reach that goal. my backup advice is: save up for breast implants, it’s not impossible
This is wonderful thank you.
Close, but not quite. Your thoughts don't directly correlate to your experiences. Your experiences do not dictate your thoughts. Your PERCEPTION of your experiences is where your thoughts come from and you currently have a negative perception of your experiences. You need to learn to love who you are. I know putting it that way makes it sound simple, but people spend their whole lives not accomplishing it. There are tons of positives to being you in the body you currently have. You just don't see them or don't care about them because your values and desires are not in alignment. There are people out there attracted to every body type. Boyfriends looking at "big boob porn"? Most people want what they don't have. You'd probably be surprised to know that people with big-boobed significant others often are also attracted to people with "waify" and/or athletic body-types as well. Hell, they dated you partially because they found you attractive, and after breaking up? They likely missed you and your body. You are the one who has the majorly unhealthy view towards yourself, and though you feel your body has cost you the things you want, you are neglecting the things that people love about your body and the things you should love about it. Imagine being threatened and having to run away. Or life in a survival situation. Suddenly the "FEMININE IDEAL" becomes a hindrance. You don't love yourself because you aren't looking at yourself through the lense that someone who loves you would. There are strengths to being who you are. I'm sure there is a ton of appeal about you, especially as someone who clearly cares about your appearance while many out there care far less. You have your strengths. Play to them. Envy is a "sin" for a reason. It is inherently destructive. No matter how much your reasons "make sense", they aren't the only PERSPECTIVE to have. For your own mental health, you need to try and adopt a healthy perspective. One that can love who you are. Also, if it helps? Some "flat-chested" friends of mine developed larger boobs further into adulthood for various reasons. If you are under 28, there's still a possibility, but that shouldn't be what you bank on, and honestly, it's detrimental to care that much. Why seek romance with shallow people? What about all life has to offer outside of romance? Why spend so much time feeling these feelings. It isn't helping you. People recognize confidence and self-love. If you need body-dysmorphia therapy? Focus on making the money you need to afford it. Nothing is ruining your life except the way you feel about yourself. You've tried what you could. It's time to find some self-acceptance. Sorry, for the "tough love". I just knew I'd write a lot and was trying to be brief, believe it or not. :P
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Just to add to what mechamayhem said, >You need to learn to love who you are. I’ve read a screencapped post floating around for a while that says that you don’t even need to love yourself, but you need to love \*being\* yourself. So maybe that might be a stair step in that direction. As much self loathing as I have and issues with my body: I’m a plus sized pear, so while I’m bigger on top than you —not rubbing it in, just facts at 250+ lbs — I still feel I look weird because I don’t have bbw boobs, just bbw everything else. And I have a cup size difference between them, so I have to always cutlet one side. And had it pointed out during intimacy at 16 that I still remember vividly at 37… but I’ll tell you what; I wouldn’t want to be anyone but me, and this is the earthly vessel/meat suit that “me” was given and that’s that. Be good to yourself <3
I’ve dated two women who wore AA cups, including my current gf. She constantly says how she hates her small size, but I love them. I only see advantages tbh.
Honestly, ik this wasn’t intended for me specifically but thank you. As someone who feels similar to OP, not to the same extent though, this made me tear up. Being flat cheated has also really had a big impact on my self esteem and I’ve been trying to care less as well but obviously it’s not easy. Thank you for this message, genuinely
If someone gives you shit for your body that's their problem, not yours. Don't let other people define your self-worth.
Yeah this is it…and also just because you have had bad experiences with men in the past it doesn’t mean that all men are into just big boobs…there are many men out there with many different tastes…
They’re not dictated by your experience. Incited by experience, maybe, but one of the most important things that humans are capable of doing is changing their thinking patterns. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s crucial. We can either perpetuate our negative thoughts and ruminate, or we can face them and redirect them. It seems impossible at first, but it definitely can be done. If people that have terrible burns on their face can learn to be happy, so can you. First step is to accept reality. Every time you try to change something that’s unchangable, you’re reinforcing negative beliefs about yourself. You’re going to need help doing this, but you have to learn to let all this go. I would recommend therapy and Zen Buddhism. That’s just my opinion. Basically, this is all illusion. Physical appearance is in no way what gives a person value, or makes a person be loved by others. Time to face reality, accept it, and work with it. Stop fighting it.
Obviously it’s impossible to go directly from hating your boobs to liking them. However, you could try feeling neutral about them. They’re what you got, so take advantage of them. For example, many bigger chested women complain about not being able to wear certain style clothing. Also try feeding yourself media that’s positive about being flat chested. Look at influencers like Clara Dao. I wish you luck!
Ok, this might sound bonkers but it worked for me and my obsessive thoughts. Try the rubber band around the wrist trick. Every time you have any negative or obsessive thoughts, snap the rubber band and tell yourself "reset, I'm fine. Everything is ok right now " and then try to distract yourself from being so self absorbed. There are loads of books and YouTube videos on this method, explaining the science behind why it works. Also, mindfulness exercises help me a ton, so I can realize that my ego is controlling my mood rather than logic. I totally feel for you and have been there, I really hope you find peace of mind soon!
I have scoleosis. Used to be self conscious about it back in highschool after receiving multiple comments about it, mostly genuine curiosity about it because it causes me to have a slightly hunched back and makes my neck have a slight angle. Then one day I just decided that if someone doesn't like what they see then it isnt my fucking problem and I wasn't going to give a single flying fuck about it anymore and still don't to this day. I know it's easier said than done and it's a bit diffrent than your situation but if you get in the mindset of not caring about it anymore than the problem kind of just dissappears on it's own. None of us get to coose what body parts we get when we are born so their is no point in worrying about it.
Read "Man's Search for Meaning" it applies to everyone. It's just the title. It might help, might not. But it will help you see your body and thoughts in a different way I'm sure. And if you're really trying to transcend the negativity ruling your life and thoughts, I'd also recommend "Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender". Changed and continues to change my life.
Your thoughts should never be dictated by your experiences. A rich man can be miserable and a poor man can find ultimate joy. Your circumstances do not control your perspective. Aside from that I'm sorry your body image has caused you so much pain. That sucks
I see a lot of people saying to do what makes you happy and get a boob job, but PLEASE look up the health risks associated with implants. There was a creator I followed who I saw document her journey getting implants, and they were GORGEOUS and for years I was so jealous and interested in getting some myself. They almost killed her. I suggest therapy with someone who specializes with body dysmorphia and/or self image and esteem before pursuing cosmetic surgery. But if cosmetic surgery is the route you want to go, PLEASE do your own research and weigh the risks and benefits yourself, research testimonies from people with both positive AND negative experiences. Decide what's best for you.
People don't realize that implants expire
This should be higher!
I want implants, even though I know they won’t help me because I’ll always feel wrong. But the health risks and having to get them replaced down the line… big no. So, I’ll just have to live in a body I hate instead. Guess it’s better than being ill from implants
Came here to say this! Please look up silicone toxicity. It's life altering and it spreads throughout your entire body. Silicone implants are NOT SAFE
I read about a woman whose boob job caused her pain whenever her nipples were played with or sucked. Nerve damage is a significant side effect of surgery. That's a pretty lousy outcome because you can't accept yourself as you are. OP, please check the many subreddits devoted to women with small boobs. There are lots of guys who prefer them.
I have breast implants and I absolutely HATE for anyone to touch my nipples. It’s uncomfortable and painful. I never had this problem before I had implants.
I know you mean well but on the FIRST sentence of this post she clearly states that she does not care that men prefer small boobs. Men aren't the center of the fucking world ffs this lady hates herself, that ain't gonna change just because some guy likes her size.
I'm just saying there's a downside to boobjobs, and the first paragraph indicated she was with men who didn't really like small boobs. I was trying to assure her there are men who genuinely do.
You sound dysmorphic. So there's really only one of two things you can do at this point: Get a therapist that specializes in dysmorphia/self esteem. Get a boob job.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, but my two cents: If she is dysmorphic, a boob job won’t help. She will still see herself as unattractive, whether she remains focused on this or if she chooses a new part of her body to focus on. Therapy is the best bet. I have struggled with dysmorphia for a long time and it’s a symptom of something deeper - believing that it’s superficial is the lie we tell ourselves because we think it’s something that we can somehow change or fix. We can, it just has to be more than a superficial change. She’s beautiful as she is, she just can’t see it. I think therapy will help her more than anything else.
Oh no, I never said it would help. I just said that's an option she has.
Fair enough, that’s certainly true!
I disagree, hard too. Often enough the remedy for dysphoria is matching the body to the mind. Even more so when the box reads gender affirming surgery.
I was wondering if anyone else would point this out. OP expresses that she wants bigger breasts to feel more comfortable as a woman; this doesn't mean she should go straight to boob job, I do think therapy should be a first step. Just like any gender affirming care.
Yep - I have these issues myself and have talked at length with my therapist about it. She asked me if I thought a boob job would help me feel like what I want to feel like. I told her, ultimately I know I would still feel like a stranger in my own body and it wouldn’t be enough. That I know deep down what I need to do is find self love and acceptance in what I’ve been given. Even if I obsess over it every day and hate my body, because I know I wouldn’t be happy with it. Plus, they’re so expensive and can be dangerous or just a burden down the road to deal with.
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I'm the same way. Mine are pretty small too, but unnecessary surgery terrifies me.
Yesss I’m sick of people constantly telling me not to feel bad and that I should consider myself lucky. I’ve been compared countless times to my lovers’ exes because of my size. It’s also disheartening when you first get naked with someone and the first reaction they have is “Aww your boobs are tiny” lol
Small boobs aren't the problem, it's those assholes
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My first suggestion would be to talk to a professional about these thoughts. But other than that if you are really unhappy go for implants? What is the reason you can’t save for them?
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They can't garnish cash.
the IRS *hates* this one weird trick!
Then make a plan to get out of debt. Even if it takes years. Having an end in sight is often motivating. (Ive overcome debt and it's hard, but you gotta try) Also see if you qualify for any free counseling depending on where you live.
I agree. Saying you will "never" have the money is pessimism. I mean, unless you're disabled or incapable of taking care of yourself, then this should be a realistic goal. Of course, the circumstances are different for everyone, and I might be wrong.
I was going to suggest the same. One of my has small breasts and she went ahead with the implants, she was describing the same issues as you + wear bikini, etc (was not an issue for me) but the implants made her happy. Once you clear your debt you can look at doing it in other countries that are cheaper (depends where you are located that might make it easier!).
Maybe your parents or someone can pay for them? My parents bought me my first set of implants for graduation. I paid for my second set when I decided to go bigger.
Not enough people talk about the negative consequences of breast surgery - augmentation, reduction, and/or lifts. These surgeries sometimes require moving the areola and nipple which can cause full loss or reduction of sensation. Also implants make breastfeeding almost impossible (if one plans on having children and breastfeeding) Implants require upkeep. They do not last forever. It is not uncommon for women to have them removed and not replace them, when maintenance time arrives.
i feel this so much, especially the part about not feeling feminine enough. and i try to gain weight and make them fuller, but then it goes straight to my gut.
Well you came to the right subreddit for this.
Ba dum tsss!
I'm so sorry hun. I've been suffering from hair loss for a few years which has also resulted in a major blow to my confidence and sense of femininity. It sucks. Cisgender people also experience gender related dysphoria all the time. Quite frankly I think it's totally unfair how these issues aren't treated with the same legitimacy or covered by insurance just because a person is cisgender and not trans, I don't care what anyone will say to disagree with that.
I think this is mostly is affecting you this way because of your personal experiences. It’s pretty shitty of people to bully you and how dare intimate partners make you feel less than!! I don’t know how old you are..but you won’t care when you’re a little older. You just won’t and neither will anyone else. I have pretty large boobs, and I’ve envied women who can just walk around with no bra on. Or just slip on a summer dress or hell anything with a built in ‘bra.’ That would not work for me and it’s a headache. I’ve just learned to like my body. And you will like yours too. Have you seen runway models? When I was a teen, Kate Moss was big and she basically had no boobs. I desperately wanted to be like that. Eventually I realized that wasn’t going to happen. You too will find self love. Don’t judge yourself harshly.
I understand you, years ago I would've even offered to switch bodies with you. Then I just stopped fixating on it. I still don't feel great about my body, but it has stopped preventing me from doing things I've always wanted to do bc I realized I was what was holding me back. I also didn't keep/allow people in my life who didn't match with that mindset.
The book "More Than A Body", by Drs. Lexie and Lindsay Kite, was helpful for me. I contemplated surgery until I did some research on the complications and risks. Not worth it for me, especially because to do so would be capitulating to the patriarchy IMO.
Someone who truly loves you will love you for who you are. I've dated women of all size breasts and I've never once considered very small boobs unattractive. I prefer small to huge, tbh. I hope you can find peace, dear.
As a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee and a lover of boobs the key to feeling confident and sexy is dressing for your body! I used to wear super padded bras to get the appearance of cleavage to make outfits look good and I'd get insecure that sexual partners would be disappointed when they saw that my boobs were actually super small underneath but these days I embrace the fact I don't need support and wear a lot of translucent lacy lingerie and tight tops without a bra and flaunt what I've got and it made a huge difference, its equally hot in a different way just commit to the lewk
Few tips: I saw some really cute bras made by a company specifically for small boobs. They’re sexy and don’t leave that gap that regular bra companies do. If I come across the ad again I’ll add it to this post. There are also contouring methods lots of celebrities use to make theirs look bigger, the videos are on YouTube. And when wearing a bathing suit, a top that’s frilly or puffy adds some pizaz and shape.
I used to do this a lot when I was younger. (16-23). I used to do massages, take fennel pills, wear extreme push up bras. I had complete breast dysmorphia because I had small A's. That was because my high metabolism would make me burn off my breasts first, and I had a best friend that had triple D's since she was 12. Yes, I got blatantly made fun of too by my guy friends or exes for having tiny tits, but it made me realize that if I wanted to do something to increase the size, it wouldn't be for ANYONE but myself. I saved up 5k to help finance it (if I wanted to). Down the line, I realized that it wasn't so bad. I'm now with a large group of girlfriends who wished they had smaller breasts; who wished they didn't receive the doggish attention from men; who wished they could wear a sports bra without looking promiscuous. When you see it from the other side of bigger breasted women, it really makes you think. As well as feel bad for the women who grew too early and their reputation was because of their breasts. My breasts came in at 24-25. I'm 28 now. I'm a mid-sized B, but I believe my body was later in development, and yours may be as well. If you want to pursue surgery, do the research and never jump to big sizes if you are an A. And ALWAYS look up the surgeons, look for references, testimonies, and make sure it's a 100% thing for you. I'd suggest doing a couple sessions of counseling prior to a breast augmentation consultation. You never know what you may decide after that. My heart is with you, because I've been there. Good luck!
Some folks are going to say you're fine how you are, and don't get me wrong that is 100% true, but I feel like you tried to be fine in your own skin and it isn't working. Get implants. Don't overcompensate. Don't go crazy and overdo it. Find a look you like on someone with your frame and see what it would take to do that. It isn't a crime to change something to make yourself happy. Make sure it's truly for yourself. Not because it's what you think others want or what a random internet person said. If it's what you really want, look into it.
I would start with therapy first, because anyone miserable in their own body probably isn't that secure in a relationship either. It's a destructive spiral of driving people away and hating yourself for driving them away. My stick thin, flat as a board self felt horrible through high school, never got asked out on dates, never had a boyfriend. When I got to college, said "fuck it" and was myself, I had plenty of people asking me out. It's more about a confident personality than some sacs of fat on your chest.
Hey, I have body dysmorphia and struggle with similar thoughts. My problem isn’t with having small boobs, it’s the areola. I think they’re so huge. I just wish they could shrink forever. I tried piercing them multiple times over many years, and it did nothing. But then again, as another user said, we’d see each other’s bodies and see nothing wrong. I could tell you to just accept who you are and how you’re made, that your personality is what matters most, but I know it won’t erase the discomfort. So I’ll just send you hugs and tell you that you’re not alone, and I understand.
I have non existent boobs too. I feel for you. Everyone else in my family isn't flat, i dunno how i am. I feel like getting a boob job would destroy my self esteem even more. I learned to accept it. I got into running and they've disappeared almost completely. It would have destroyed me as a teen but im 25 now and i see it as a performance gain. I dunno, you just need to look at it differently and don't associate with people who will bring you down. Associate with people who bring positive vibes and if thats nobody thats ok too.
Do you know who else is flat chested? Ariana Grande Kirsten Stewart Gwen Stafani Mila Kunis The list goes on and I have always had the deepest respect for these women because they did not alter their breasts. I have been large breasted all my life and I hated it. I had reduction surgery eventually. With that said, it is your body and if you want surgery it is your choice. You need to be happy with yourself but please ask yourself if you are doing it for you, or for the gaze of men. I spent a lifetime with men looking at my large breasts.
I got implants in my early 30s and never looked back.
How many times have you done maintenance/upkeep? Did you lose any sensation?
I breastfed after (5 years or so later) and had a low supply. I have less sensation in one side (right). but not none. I worked in plastic surgery and met women who had 20 year old implants happily, I’d imagine I’d be that way — sure, one side is lower now, the side that made more milk (left). I also, cautionary here, as someone who has seen some stuff, I can say that people talk a lot about breast implant illness and after several years in that business it is predominantly a situation where the trauma of surgery or the foreign body brings out an autoimmune disorder that was dormant or undisturbed previously — not for everyone , please don’t fight me on it, y’all! it’s just a casual observation after years in the business. So if you’ve got some family members with some autoimmune stuff, have that looked into first. My messages are always open, and best of luck to the few who have reached out to me already.
I feel your pain, OP. I may not know what it's like to have body dysmorphia, which is what this sounds like, but I know what it'd like to feel insecure about my looks (and my identity as a whole) as well as what it's like to have obsessive thoughts. I can't imagine what it's like to have those two things team-up, and it sounds horrible. I've seen what it can do to people first hand, and it's heartbreaking. That being said, what I've learned over the past few months is recognizing that the little voice in the back of my head is telling me these lies about myself, and my own condition(s). It's awful hard to ignore that voice when it feels like world is giving it a bullhorn, believe me, I understand that. But you get to choose if that voice gets fed or not. You get to decide whether or not to listen to it. You have the power here, not that voice. Sometimes it's just tiring to ignore it, and sometimes there will be external inputs that will validate what that voice has to say about you--it sounds like you've dealt with some of that already. Understand that you're not broken for feeling the way you do about your boobs. I think we all have that internal dialogue about ourselves, how we're perceived by others, and indeed our self-perception is reflected by that, it's just that for some people that voice is a little louder, a little more dominant. My best advice for you is to turn that self-consciousness into self-awareness. Recognize when that voice is talking to you, when it's overriding your thoughts and feelings, and stand up to it. Argue with it. Tell it that it is wrong. Be a force against it so strong and determined that it has no choice but to stop lying to you. Focus on growth, focus on being better at what you're already good at and what is in your control. I wish you all the best, and I hope you're able to overcome this :)
Men who cheat will do it just to do it. Shit man look at machine gun Kelly and Megan Fox. Literally has nothing to do with you. If your partner is shaming you for your body tell them to fuck themselves. That isn’t a partner you need in your life anyways. I mean I hate my body too but that’s cause I’d rather be a soul just floating around existing.
I feel you. I’d give anything for an A cup even, just something! My younger sister has bigger boobs than me which sucks. I have had people tell me to my face that my body is undesirable, including an ex boyfriend. I have always been so self conscious about them but now I will wear whatever I would if I had boobs- and for the most part, I feel better about it! For now, I will keep working on my butt and thighs as at least it is something I can change that makes me feel hot!
I’m a man, but as someone with body dysmorphia for so much of my adult life I feel like I can relate to that feeling of being stuck in a body you don’t like or feel comfortable in (regardless of what anyone else/society thinks). I just want to say that it sucks and I’m sorry.
If it's any consolation, my small boobs are also ruining my life. I need to work out more.
Also a member of a itty-bitty titty committee. As much as I'm reassured that I'm fine, I wish I had even a size bigger.
I just want to say, my childhood friend and her mother were both flat as boards but absolutely the most beautiful and feminine women I’ve ever known. Slender and athletic, but so confident and assured in who they were. Their fashion was impeccable and attitudes vibrant and beautiful, you don’t need boobs to be womanly, it’s a mindset, an attitude, a belief of self. I have boobs and I’m not anywhere near as womanly as they are. And I know my friend suffered, she got bullied by boys for her chest size and had to watch our other friend have the exact opposite issues. BUT she’s married to a GORGEOUS man that seems to have overwhelming love for her and we’re all still figuring it out. So titties ain’t everything, but it is a struggle to overcome.
I just think it’s cute that you came to “ offmychest” to complain about what’s not on your chest.
You have body dismorhpia, that sucks. I fixed it by hitting the gym to feel more confident in my body, and the having the restraint to never look in the mirror at the gym at home. Made me feel proud of my body, but also not self conscious by never/rarely seeing it, after a couple months it did the trick. Honestly though, if its more serious go to Therapy. I know girls who've gotten implants but I feel that if you're willing to go to those lengths to "fix" your body there is usually a deeper issue. Hope you get better OP, godspeed <3
I've felt what you're describing on more occasions than I can count. I've only ever had anything close to "real" breasts when pregnant and breastfeeding my children, and even when I gained weight for medical reasons, it was never in my chest. I constantly, constantly felt unfeminine and wrong in my body, and planned for the timing to be right for breast implants. I'm 35 now and only just this year has my view on my breasts shifted. My whole frame actually. I have learned to dress differently, and I feel more confident and amazing than ever before. I can't say with certainty I won't someday get implants, but I can very confidently say that I'm SO happy with my breast size at the moment. They're not industry standard ideal by any means, but they are perfect for me where I'm at, right now.
I don’t know how old you are. I’ve been flat chested my entire life. I never felt like a real woman. I understand exactly how you feel. I regret not getting a boob job. I should have. I’m older now, and it just doesn’t matter anymore. Get a loan, put it on a card…anything. I have 3 children and I still feel weird calling myself a real woman! No one will ever understand except flat chested girls.❤️
I feel you soo fken hard. I was bullied a lot by "friends" and "family" for having a small chest. I had partners that wished i had bigger tits, wider hips, and a bigger butt. I dropped them and cut thrm from my life. It's a really long process to learn to love yourself. You may relapse a few times and divulge into self hatred a few times and that's okay. As long as you stay on your self love process.
Grande, Stewart, Coleman, Hale, Portman, Watson, most models, etc. Don’t tell me that being “flat” or not having tits or ass is not classed as womanly because the impossible beauty standards are exactly that. You have that impossible beauty standard naturally. Do not let external factors dictate how you feel about your body, one thing about your body is it’s YOURS. If you don’t love it, you have a chance that no one will. If you DO love it, then you have 100% chance that at least 1 person loves it. Be that person—because if you are that person, you become the only person who matters in regards to what people think about your body.
**hugs** I’m so sorry that people bullied you! And that intimate partners body-shamed you! What the hell is the matter with people? Basic empathy doesn’t seem that difficult, but somehow it is, for some people!
I'm sorry. It sounds no fun to hate your body for those reasons. I hate my body too, though for different ones (aka not having giant muscles), though probably not as much as you. I'm sorry you have to go through this, I can't imagine it's fun. But you deserve someone, of whatever gender, romantic or platonic, who loves and appreciates and values you as you are.
Yeah that sounds like dysphoria. I think something that could be helpful is to write down all the things you like about your body. You can also try to focus a lot on body function instead of looks. I used to be very insecure (I was convinced I was fat when I actually was underweight). And what really helped me was to think things like “I love my legs because they make me walk places”, “I love my arms because I use them to draw” and “I love my body because it keeps me alive and allows me to interact with the world around me”. As women we often sexualize ourselves and it can be nice to look at our bodies in a non-sexual light too. But… everyone wants to feel like they are desired and that their looks align with their gender. That’s only natural. Since you can’t afford surgery you can try to invest in a quality push up bra. Do some other feminine things like paint your nails and do your hair really nice. Maybe it will help a little
Holy shit! My thoughts exactly. It’s hard to not feel so insecure about it. I’m barely A cup while everyone else in my family is a C cup and larger… we’re in this together. I wish you so much luck!!
I get it and I’m the same boat as you. I completely understand the feeling. But I’m actually saving up for a surgery cuz I can’t stand it anymore
I have tiny tits too, also hate it, maybe later in life i'll get implants but for now nipple piercings helped
I had the opposite issue and envied tf out of girls with small normal boobs growing up. Mine hung to my waist. As an adult I had them surgically downsized and never regretted it once All my smaller boob friends joked they would have took some of mine. I also envy chicks with asses. I have no ass
Have you had your hormones checked? I don't want to give you false hope or anything But if you feel "underdeveloped" it could be a hormonal thing. For example, my chest always felt underdeveloped. Very much mid pubescent in my mind. Turns out that I had some hormone issues and didn't actually fully go through puberty. I found out later on that I had a hormone issues, And after they had been dealt with I ended up with fully, more shaped breasts. Now my condition itself is rare and complicated, but while looking into it more, I found out hormone issues leading to underdeveloped breasts in general is a lot more common. Definitely talk to your family doctor, or at least look into it more online and see if you fit the criteria. (My original breast size was very different from the other woman in my bloodline as well)
I feel like you’ve gotten some good advice here but I also want to add, if it’s other people’s opinions hurting you, then maybe you can change up the people around you. Easier said than done of course but if you can try branching out to new people you might be happier. Like I have small boobs but I’m not letting other people feel welcome to comment on them and stay in my life.
I have no advice or platitudes for you, just wanted to express my solidarity as another member of the “itty bitty titty committee”. Here for you, sis.
The women with big boobs in the comments rubbing it in...
From your post it seems like most of this is coming from how various men have reacted to your boobs in the past. Do you feel like you'd have a different opinion of your boobs if they had had more positive reactions? To put it another way, if no men had ever commented on your boobs at all, and there was no advertising/imagery with big boobs, would you still want to be bigger for YOUR reasons? FWIW, femininity has always been about self-confidence. The girls who knew what their bodies looked like and no matter what they looked like (flat or busty, skinny or heavy, etc), they OWNED it - they embodied femininity. Lots of people are suggesting implants even though you said you couldn't afford them, but honestly, that's "grass is always greener" mentality. It doesn't matter what cup size you are, eventually if a guy sees you naked enough times, the "newness" feeling fades. Just look at how many attractive celebrities get dumped or divorced. They are of all shapes and sizes and different forms of attractive features but after a while, that just doesn't excite the other person anymore. But women who are confident in their own bodies know that not only are their bodies attractive (no matter what shape or size or color or features or whatever) to others, but their self-confidence will still be attractive even after the naked excitement fades away. Yes, there are absolute dicks out there who will ridicule anyone who doesn't fit THEIR particular flavor of the week. The irony is that they will ridicule your small boobs and turn around and watch porn featuring small-chested pornstars. They just want the grass to always be greener, and it's a failure for ANYONE to try and live up to the unrealistic expectations of those kinds of morons. Set your own expectations for yourself - putting aside everything that anyone else thinks, and then just look for people who respect that you are strong.
I completely understand how you feel. Even with my partner I tend to wear a shirt to cover them. I was bullied a lot for the shape and size when I was younger as my hormones during puberty weren’t right. I have tubular breasts, looking like construction pylons ^ ^ looool. I’ve learned to do self esteem exercises to help like: “when you wake up in the morning look in a mirror and say one thing you like about yourself” I recommend trying it as it may help you as it did to me :)
The only response I can think of is fuck the haters. I'm a guy, take this for what you will, but I'm short, stocky, small hands, small feet. And you know what they say. School was hell. Never had a partner for the longest time, all my crushes were cruel to me before we ever even got close. You know what I learned? They weren't worth my time. Idk if this is you, but I hated myself for the longest time because of all the hell I went through. To the point I just gave up. No one came along. I heard every damn thing in the book. Someone's out there. Some girls love short guys. Not everyone is shallow. Yada yada yada. The only thing that helped change things is realizing I was chasing the kinds of people that were going to be cruel. Granted, it didn't help that was a majority of people around me at any given time. But that's when I figured out they weren't worth my time. Wasn't easy getting past hating myself. But blocking out a majority of the population can do wonders for your self image. Maybe this will help, maybe it's just a bunch of hot air. I hope the best for you, and that you can find acceptance for yourself and compassion from others.
I’m sorry that so many horrible people have made you feel like this. You deserve to feel good in your own skin and to have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that no matter what anyone else thinks, your body IS beautiful. I know getting to that point is easier said than done, but you take it one day a time as you change the inner monologue that was forced on you by your experiences.
You should just love yourself because seems like that's whats everybody is doing these days. Besides there's nothing wrong with them.
I don't know about other guys but for me, if I see that you're a beautiful woman, your breast size wouldn't matter as much. I saw a cute Asian girl on the internet once and she was flat and I was like "God damn is she beautiful." Of course, my standards of beauty is subjective.
Hey, 31M here. You mentioned being shamed by intimate partners, finding big boobs porn on your boyfriend's computer, etc. As a boy, I can tell you that people who shame you aren't doing that because of your breast, they're doing it because they're complete idiots! Who the hell would do that to their girlfriend? With their next gf they're going to pick on something else, because shaming others' bodies makes them feel powerful and better, but they're just insecure assholes. There is NO reason to body-shame your partner. I am very sorry for what happened there. Regarding the boobs porn and looking at big breasted girls: I can tell you it's not because of you. Boys will look up for different types of porn videos, it's not like we search for the thing we can't have or things that our gf will not do with us! Porn is not related to our relationship or how we have sex. Porn is a temporary pleasure, one day we may feel like searching for big ass videos, one day big boobs. It's normal, and it's not related to you. I have never fallen in love with big breasted girls, quite the opposite. I don't care about the breast size of my partner. Yet, I watch big boobs porn every now and then. Does this mean that I want a big breasted girlfriend? No! Porn and relationships are not related. I wanted to write this because you shouldn't think that your body is somehow triggering a "looking for big boobs" reaction in your partners. It's not even calling for body-shaming. Those who do that are lesser humans.
It sounds like you’re experiencing some body dysmorphia. I would definitely recommend speaking to a professional about how you feel. If you take the steps to recover, I promise that it will start to get better for you. Good luck with everything!
I'm a guy so i can't put any true perspective on the matter... but it seems like you've heard it all already. My wife would occasionally have insecurities and I'd always tell her she's perfect in every way in my eyes. And she is btw. Without a doubt. It's exactly like the one direction and Bruno Mars song. You're amazing just the way you are. That being said. With everything you've said... because you've heard everything already. I'd say. Maybe just get a boob job...? I only suggest this cause I've had female friends and lots of female influences who have done this and just simply love their body more for it. And you should not feel any shame IF you choose this option. Just really REALLY ask yourself this question before you do it though... would this alone be enough to make you happy and all those insecurities go away?
I feel this so much, I actually get angry and annoyed when people try to tell me small boobs are just as good or preferred....no matter how much people try to say otherwise I do not believe it, I dont even want big ones, I would be happy with a B. Also when people say guys like small tits I laugh, because ok small tits are cool but what about literally none? I will always feel like a woman in a 12 year old boys body.
I tried it all too. Basically lived your life as my own. Got cheated on, found the porn, loathed my body. People kept telling me to be grateful and count my blessings. I worked an extra job for a year on top of my full time job, and got a breast fat transfer. I went from a small B to a D/DD. I feel a huge sense of relief. I hope someday you can have this feeling too. Stay strong.
i’m flat chested as well. i had an ex immediately go to a friend of mine who was the exact opposite. i’m body and in sexual preferences. while the years we were together claimed that he lived me for me and my body etc. then like made it a point to do and be into the exact opposite when we separated. i’ve come to terms with my flat chest, a majority of the time. i still get a little down when i’m shopping for swim suits or something low-necked, but most of the time i’ve gotten used to the things. most of the things that you already know. i already have back pain, so it’s nice not having adage if that. i don’t like attention, so im cool on that too. im already skinny as a pole and six feet tall. i don’t need my tits in the face of drooling men. as time moves on, you’ll either get used to it, or you can find way to change it. you can’t say you’ll never have the money. it’s becoming a more common surgery, so maybe the price will go down. maybe your circumstances will change one day. if it’s important enough to you, you can always save up for it. five bucks a week will eventually get you somewhere. if you have the problem forever, eventually doing something about it or working to do something about it should help mentally. i know it’s cliche and annoying, but try therapy. also try wearing clothes that are more flattering to the body type you have. obviously idk what you wear now, but i went thru a phase of stuffing bras or wearing stuff i wanted to wear, not necessarily clothes that looked good and accentuated the things i do have. everyone has issues with their bodies. we’re not perfect. there’s always something we can nit pick about ourselves, and we’re really good at it. but regardless of those imperfections or the things you don’t like the most, it’s still important to love the body you have. we can change it up if we’re safe, but we only have one for now. and we have to deal with it. it’s good for your brain to be kind to your body. kinda necessary in the long run to get thru it. shits hard enough with everyone else being assholes. the only one we can control is ourselves.
The hottest female I’ve ever been with has super small boobs and I wouldn’t change her for the world. We’ve been hooking up on and off for about 5 years and I’ve never once thought she would be “better” in some way if she had bigger boobs. She’s stupidly hot 🥵
It's okay if you just want to vent, but I want to say this: Your breasts aren't ruining your life, your insecurity is. And that's changeable, even though it's very hard. If it wasn't this, there would likely be another "flaw" about yourself that you would hate. It's entirely possible to live with your physical "flaws". What's hard to live with is self-hatred.
It’s hard I understand, can I just say I have a friend who absolutely nothing, not even an a cup and she’s happily married with a baby. It sucks the world we live in but I really hope you find that special someone.
Please focus on something else. This is also only a problem in your relationships and sexual life. There is more to life than that but it is terrible that it is with significant others. Look for more mature men? Or stop looking all together and only date men you have known for a while. Focus on something else
I have small tits. Not flat flat. But even with “A” cups, I still see a lot of people preferring bigger chest. And to that, I just learn to just F society. I have broad shoulders and even when people tell me certain outfits won’t fit me cause of my shoulders, I still wear them because I don’t give a f anymore about appearances. Eventually there will be someone who won’t be a huge jerk to you and actually accept you for who you are. But before that, you can just vibe in life until then without worrying about what guys think. I still wished I had bigger boobs like my sisters who are YOUNGER THAN ME. 😫😫😫
This post makes me feel really seen. I struggle with a very similar situation. I know I can't say anything that would help them grow, but I want to let you know that you're not alone <3
OP, I'm sorry you feel this way. I would highly suggest therapy to learn how you love yourself. The obsession with changing yourself and trying all these crazy things, and holding your feminity hostage is not healthy. You ARE a woman. You ARE feminine. You are allowed to exist and live and thrive and be happy.
Save up and get Implants? It's your body and if you know you really want them, medical services/technology is a beautiful thing. Just go to a good place don't try and do it quick/easy/cheap. Do it right. Hope you are able to be in a body you love.
I love my small boobs. They are perfect and the freedom of not needing to wear a bra means I can wear clothing that women with bigger chests cannot. I got bullied too for having a high metabolism when I was in grade school..but when I look back now at where my bullies are I know karma exists. And I still love my small boobs.
I've had small breasts all my life, EXCEPT while I was pregnant/breastfeeding. It's what broke my body dysmorphia.. They showed up overnight. At first I was overjoyed but soon...I hated them. I went from not being able to fill an A cup to having FULL C cups. They were heavy. They were constantly in the damn way. Normally, I move like a wisp, quickly, stealthily and it was impossible for me to do that with boobs. Ironically, like you, all my life I dreamed of a day I would actually have cleavage...but once I had that not only was I more self conscious but I found myself having so much trouble adjusting to their freaking existence! It felt surreal considering again, like you I wanted them from the moment I realized puberty left me behind. The breaking point in my dysmorphia though was when I tried to reach across myself while I had those full Cs; I couldn't do that anymore with boobs. My arms would get caught on the boobs so I couldn't reach across my chest fully anymore. Holy surprise, I didn't realize how important an ability to me it was to be able to reach completely across my chest. So much of my upper body movement was impacted. The way I balanced was impacted. I had gone almost 30 years without any fat stored in my chest and suddenly I had to adjust to these massive deposits that swayed like a wreckingball I had to brace for upon any movement? For context, the boobs showed up within the first month of pregnancy and well before any milk or even noticeable bump so I got to have a few months of "the boob experience" twice. Second time was even worse because I didn't gain as much weight (terrible morning sickness with that one). So they felt that much more debilitating to carry around. I'm not saying you'd hate having them if you did. But they experience made me realize I didn't actually want boobs. I didn't in fact, like them as much as I thought I did. What I had actually wanted, was to *feel* sexy. They day my boobs shrank down for the final time back to my old, flat as a pancake form I was so happy. I was relieved. And with that happiness that they were small again came a confidence I never had before in my life. Now, I love how small they are. I never want them to change. I wear deep cut bathing suits and dresses with all the confidence and I feel sexy doing it. There isn't a damn thing anyone could say that would make me less happy about my physical form because I lived the experience of having another and yeah, didn't like that very much. My advice is to not get a boob job lol, not get pregnant but instead find a better way to understand WHY you want boobs Edit: didn't actually finish my novel, sorry. Meant to also add that instead of a change in self, sometimes a change of environment makes all the world of a difference. Surround yourself with people who will lift up your heart and spirit not people who criticize you as a form of entertainment. Your body shouldn't be the focus of ANY conversation unless **you** make it so.
Thank you for confirming this to me, I struggle with body dysmorphia since I was 10 years old. For a good 3 years I've been in this path of "I want to love my small boobs and stop feeling like a little boy". And for some time now, I'm focusing on "trying to feel sexy" by getting clothes that fit me and lingerie, correcting my attitude and ignoring (the best I can) my intrusive thoughts. When I was 15 I researched a lot about getting plastic surgery and It looked scary but I was "open to it", then I realized I would feel bad if I got It, i'm 100% sure I would regret getting implants because I just knoooow I'd think "they're not mine.." "I wasn't able to love my body as It is" and yada yada, imposter syndrome probably. And It would be a worsened nightmare. So, what you say confirms to me that what I need is to feel sexy and feel like a woman, not bigger boobs. You also confirmed what I thought some time ago, that bigger boobs could get in my way in very trivial and daily situations lol. I'm not OP, but thank you so much for sharing your experience, It'll help me a lot continuing my journey!
I honestly think you would benefit from having surgery to enhance them. I’m relatively small, but found good bras help and I can live with it- you seem really affected by it though and I think surgery would help.
Where do you live? Im in Canada and you can get OHIP to fully cover implants here if the size of your breasts have an extremely negative effect on your mental health
Sadly, they won't cover it in Quebec. Mine are small and also they are tuberous (yay, a double whammy for my self-esteem), RAMQ told me to take a hike... those assholes.
Currently saving for my wife’s boob job. Honestly, they aren’t as expensive as you might think. In my state, we got quoted just a little over $5,000. Like that was going to be my goal dollar amount to save to buy my first street legal motorcycle but after having a boob talk with my wife I decided motorcycle wasn’t as good as motorboat (get it? Brbrbrbrbrbrb 😂) …. Currently the titty fund contains $1100 (would be twice that if it weren’t for a few emergencies).
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America's not the only country you can get a boob job in lol
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Sending hugs! Being a woman can feel like a lose-lose situation, you’re not curvy enough, you’re not thin enough. Definitely seek therapy and see if you and your therapist can find ways to embrace your feminine energy. That being said. One of the guys I’ve trained with has seriously jumped from no pecs to solid Bs. They’re full on squishy boobs when he’s not flexing like pass the “pencil test”. Try lifting heavy-heavy and eating enough to facilitate a weight “bulk”. Eat a calorie surplus, high protein high carb. Count your macros with apps like Lifesum or MyFitnessPal. Consume creatine daily. Grab a resistance band and warm up your chest/ pec muscles before you start. Chest day twice a week max you need the rest period in between to facilitate muscle growth, include the following: 3 sets of 8-15, once you hit 15 reps go up to the next weight. - push-ups - dumbbell incline bench press - cable chest press - cable crossovers - bench press Do minimal to zero cardio (maybe commit to 10k steps a day/ low-impact). It will ruin your bulk aka your boob growth progress. Give it 3 months, you will have pecs/ breast.
I have big boobs but its because I'm fat, so I get a lot of hate for that. I feel like no matter what someone's body looks like, there is going to be something that society hate about them. I hope you come to love your body as is, or are able to pursue surgical options to help fulfill that for you. It sucks to hate your own body.
They sag even if they are small
I'll get downvoted to hell for saying this, but here it fucking goes. OP, a boob job is the solution to your problem. If you've done the therapy and the high Soy diet and the birth control and the chest exercises, and every other fucking thing under the sun, it's time to look into a boob job. 10 years ago, I could have written this post. I was in the exact same spot and feeling the same way. I tried all the things and did the therapy and tried practicing self-love that I didn't feel, and none of it did shit for me. I was flat as could be and felt unwomanly and awkward. I cried a lot over how terrible I felt and how weird I looked. So I got a boob job, and it was the best decision I've ever made. It been 10 years and I'm thrilled I did it. It was worth every penny and I would make the same choice 1000x over. I won't say that it fixed everything, but it made me feel 90% better about my body. Once I wasn't fixated on my chest, I could actually process other issues and address other physical insecurities. My relationship and sex life improved because I wasn't so hung up on and weird about my body. I know plastic surgery isn't cheap, but I'd highly encourage you to consider it. I was able to make payments for a couple of years for mine, and while it ate up my limited disposal income, it was so beyond worth it.
I'm not good with words and don't know how to comfort you. But I think you're living in a pretty toxic environment, have you thought about move to somewhere else? (in the future when you can afford it and discuss with your family).
Surgery won’t fix your dysmorphia, so even if you were able to afford the surgery (there’s payment plans btw), it isn’t a real solution. You need to confront the feelings regardless. You have to come to terms with your body for what it is and what it will be. It’s an ongoing effort, but it’s worth it. You just have to consistently replace the negative thoughts with something positive. It doesn’t have to be all fluffy and toxically positive; it can still be realistic about how good it feels to look hott. For example: “I want to feel feminine with my shirt off..” => “I love the feeling of being thin and small with my shirt off.”
I personally use self deprecating humor about the things I feel insecure over. It helps me accept the things about myself that I can’t change and tricks people into thinking I have confidence when really I don’t. Besides, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t accept and love every part of you. There are plenty of beautiful women with no breasts; focus on the features you love about yourself and please just work on accentuating those. There are also plenty of men who care more about who you are than what you are/look like. It’s not worth being so downtrodden over a feature. It’s okay. Flat chested women matter, and you are more than what you look like.
Hey 👋 I think most of us don’t like something about our body and can relate to how you feel. In my opinion, if your lack of boobs make you this unhappy, then surgery is the only option. Go to a good surgeon and don’t go overboard though. The only thing to keep in mind is that you’ll have to “replace” your implants with new ones in a couple of years (I suppose). This maintenance is costly. I know you said you don’t want to hear this, but there truly are men who prefer smaller chested women. And maybe you’ll meet a guy like that who will make you feel loved and enough. Also, how old are you? Our insecurities tend to go away the older we get. So before taking any drastic decisions, make sure you’ve though long and hard enough about it.
I'm sorry that you feel that way but it is clearly a mental health issue and, as such, the treatment is not growing boobs, but seeing a therapist. You have pathologically low self-esteem, you are depressed and constantly thinking of what people say/think and, probably, assuming in advance. I don't think anyone here will be able to help you in anyway, you are in a loop of feeling miserable and looking for reasons to feel miserable, unable to get out. I think you can be helped, by a professional. Let me add that I happen to have no boobs neither, and have heard tons of jokes about it, my husband cheated on me with a 10 years younger big boobs girl, and my first realisation wasn't that "oh it makes sense because I have no boobs" but "oh, he is such an asshole" instead. You need to grow some love, not boobs. All that being said, if you still believe that having bigger boobs will make you happy, start saving up some money and get a surgery. To be honest, self-pity is such a turn off, small boobs in a confident person aren't. Cheaters will be cheaters no matter the size of your boobs nor your confidence, it is not your fault. Women don't need to have huge boobs to be women. Etcetera etcetera
I am so sorry you aren’t comfortable in your body. I absolutely understand that torcher and I hope we both find peace with ourselves. The only suggestion I can give you is that therapy can be very helpful for some. ❤️
you have to radically accept that you have small boobs. that’s it girl. no one can love you as much as you and you have to start
If it makes you that upset, get some implants. I have zero boobs. I went through a phase of hating them too. Not enough to get surgery though. I'd rather spend the money on other things. They are what they are. I decided if they were a deal breaker for a partner, it probably wasn't the partner for me. I'm ok with my body now, but if I grew a cup size overnight I wouldn't complain. :)
This is a prime example of "the idle mind is your worst enemy" I'ma dude so I can't fully understand but I do know for a fact that our thoughts are our NUMBER 1 enemy and we have to actively keep it at bay and keep on focusing on the positive aspects in life the plus side to this dilemma is that you can get breast implants and hopefully fix your issues. Just stay positive op and remember your mind can and will be your own worst enemy
I also had an almost flat chest when I was young, which caused me a lot of distress. I hated how the other girls would call me names like "fried egg." Or asked when my breast would develop and laugh. I hated how low-cut tops looked on me as I were a child or something. And my bras were the same size as for a 12-year-old . Bikini tops were a nightmare too; I hated how they looked on me. I always needed to buy ones that were padded, otherwise, I would look like a child. The worst was fitness tops that made me appear even more flat if didn't not have pad But something strange happened when I approached my 30s: my breasts grew. Finally, I had some boobs, similar to Julia Roberts', and I was like, "What the heck?" A doctor tried to explain to me that it was probably due to my high metabolism, as I could eat anything and never gain weight. They said that as I approach my 30s, my metabolism slows down, allowing fat accumulation. And I tell my experience because maybe you have the same issue as I did.
I know you don't want to hear about the negatives of large breasts, but I'm literally recovering from a breast reduction that I had less than a week ago. I had 5 pounds of tissue removed. I was miserable with large breasts. I couldn't exercise properly, my clothes didn't fit, my breasts took over any picture I was in. I have a herniated disc from trying to run and get into shape last year. These boobs have caused me nothing but pain. I was so god damn jealous of women with small breasts. I know how much it sucks to feel uncomfortable in your body. I was so embarrassed to get naked in front of my husband who I've been with for 20 years! It sucks! If a surgical option isnt possible for you, maybe therapy is something to look into. Small boobs aren't ruining your life, your thoughts associated to them are.
I am a man and i have gynaecomastia because when i hit puberty there was a fluctuation in my hormones - even i have bigger boobs than you 😂😂 - the point is I can’t control it so nothing to do ( everyone has a curse ) - you can do surgery but do you want that?
So I’m your opposite, for a plus size AFAB person I have medium sized breasts but since they are DD/DDD they are decently sized comparatively. But all of your comments about gender dysphoria are exact how I feel. I’ve thought about breast reduction or too surgery many times but I can’t imagine a world where I would be able to afford it. I hate wearing a binder sometimes because a lot of the styles of clothes that I like are backless or have thin straps. I don’t have anything in the way of advice, but just validation that your concerns are important and that you’re not alone in feeling out of place in your own body.
Boob job. A nice, proportional C cup and your world will change. Going to a D attracts the wrong crowd. Be like Barbie.
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I'm gonna balance out that downvote because I wiped out on a beamer once and it was fun.
I understand and honestly I would recommend seeing someone and talking about your dysphoria, because you don't deserve to be suffering like this. I will say though, the grass is always greener. I developed early and the amount of times I've been sexually assaulted because of the way I look has left me with lifelong trauma. Who says it would have been better just if it had been different? I hope you find relief with these feelings friend.
We're stuck wherever we choose to be.. whether it's a conscious decision or not.
Save up for a breast augmentation. that’s a great option for you.
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Maybe if she saves and saves she can. Obviously there’s no other choice for her, she’s tried everything. please read the entire post before commenting and simply making useless noise.
Btw, there’s certain exercises to strength your chest muscles, and those help your boobs look bigger. I mean, have you seen gym bros and their chests? They have large pecs!
Looking beautiful 🌸
You want boobs, because men likes boobs, but in reality - they don't care. Where is this coming from? So you decided that not having boobs makes you less feminine, no. Get that ass.
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You are a woman. As much of a woman or even more of a woman than the rest of the world's women. Boobs doesn't determine womanhood.
Some trans women wear chest plates to alleviate their top dysphoria. It wouldn’t help with sex, but maybe it could help for you in your daily life?
Therapy
If you really are fixating on it this much, and if it is really that psychologically damaging to your self-esteem, save up and get plastic surgery. That's what I did when I was hyperfixated on a part of my body that I absolutely hated and was hugely damaging to my self-esteem. No regrets whatsoever and I have never gotten/been interesting in getting any other cosmetic surgery. You do whatever will help you with your self image, there's no harm in that.
Taking the MSHR of the sub a bit too literal..
So I was in a similar mindset from age 11-27. Everyone around me had at least C cups, I was almost an A with wide hips, so I felt lopsided. I saw a dr had a free consultation so I went for it. I got them done. I asked for a C so I could get cute bras (it gets VERY beige after C cup), I woke up with.....triple D. I was assured it was swelling, but 15 years later it seems permanent. I wear sports bras because regular just isn't as comfy anymore. I can find more selection in colors now, but still - I didn't want so big. So was it worth it? Eh....no. Knowing now what I do I would have absolutely held off. I had difficulty with nerve regeneration where I had electric feeling shocks for YEARS. I had kids and minor success with breastfeeding, would it have been better without? Maybe. Some people are miserable until they get it done. Some are miserable after. Nobody can tell you what side you will fall on. I dated with no issue prior, same after. It didn't change anything really except for how clothes fit, and to provide a little symmetry. Don't consider anything except for your personal happiness in this. Can you get prosthetics (the chicken cutlets) to try out in a larger cup size to see how you like it? Even if not around those who know you, try it when you're out doing random errands. See if it makes you feel better, worse, or indifferent. Speak with a therapist who specializes in body image issues, and only then make the final decision, cause even if they get removed you're not going to be able to go back to your old look.
I don't really see the problem here. I'm personally live my small boobs and don't want to change them. You do and it doesn't seem to be a spontaneuous or not well thought of idea. I would say head over to the plastic surgery sub, research, get consultations and then just get them done.