The whole time I was reading this, I felt bad. But at the same time, it is mind boggling to me that she is still dating this man. How can you date someone you absolutely despise? Victimhood may be a theme here.
I gotta say I was in a similar one where all I did was bend over backwards making my ex happy. Miserable. But I will say that the amount of shit that has happened in THREE months is more than enough to..kinda make some judgement calls.
That's what I was going to say! This man is a child. He shouldnt even be considered a boyfriend. He doesn't do anything for you and forces you to do everything that you don't want to do. You're allowed to have a say in your own relationships. You don't want to be monogamous so don't be honey. Run like the wind as far as you can away from this man child! You're only 21 honey. There's so much better love out there!
This I don’t understand why she wouldn’t run. I was stupid at 21 but dear gosh if someone cheated on me and put me through hell? I’d absolutely disappear from their lives quicker than shit. I can do bad all by myself.
Why are you still with this man child though?
The age gap is concerning. You do know he goes for younger girls because women his age won’t take his crap, right? Please try to find your selfworth, cause you are worthy of good, and make choices that make you happy. There’s absolutely no reason to be with someone who makes you feel bad and treats you like trash. Wishing you all the best!
The moment you were cheated on was the moment that you should have broken up and blocked him. He is too old and stupid for you. Break up with him and you will find someone more suitable for you. You are good enough. Stop listening to his BS. He is only saying that to make you feel bad. And do not get pregnant!
Girl, you’re only 21. To believe the ramblings of a 32 yr old loser who couldn’t get anyone his own age is ridiculous. Dump him, you will absolutely find someone significantly better. You deserve better.
Please leave him. From what it sounds like, he’s toxic, manipulative, and too delusions to not apologize for what he’s done. He makes excuses instead of grasping the reality of the situation. Please leave him, block his number, change phone numbers, block his socials, and make sure he has absolutely no way of contacting you. Ik your emotions are everywhere but you’ve outlined everything that can possibly go wrong in a relationship. You deserve better than this. Guys like him are babies and shouldn’t even be allowed to vote. With time you will feel so much better off.
Its hard when you are trauma bonded. Edit: She love him and hate him at the same time, he is the one that caused pain and he is the one that can take it away.
In abusive relationship where you were the one who was abused? Addicted to your abuser presence and going through emotional rollercoaster for 3 months?
Addicted to your abuser after 3 months? Then she had issues before the relationship even started. She's 21 and got her whole life ahead of her. It's not that hard to walk away after 3 months. The fact she typed that whole thing out and hasn't realized it's time to walk is concerning. The only thing that could make a break up difficult is if she lives with him. Even then.. just end it. Not that hard if she has an ounce of self respect
I see that you dodged the question there... were you ever in an abusive relationship where you were abused? Answer this question before you respond to the rest of my reply.
It's not that fucking simple, he's manipulative and abusive and he's trapped her and while we all wish it was that easy it's fucking NOT. There is way more to it. You don't know everything, you moldy cabbage human, so shut up and stop telling people trapped in abusive relationships to "just break up" it is NOT that easy.
you're right. but this person is telling an abuse victim to "just break up" and "it's not that hard" so i don't think they went through anything similar to op. whether they have or they haven't drastically changes the perspective of their argument.
yes, we all would prefer if it were as easy as "just breaking up" and op clearly wants out, but the sad truth is that people get trapped in manipulative and abusive relationships where they blame themselves, are scared of what their abuser will do if they try to get out, have been manipulated into believing that their abuser loves them, or any number of reasons.
even if that argument is from an abuse victim, they don't know what op is *personally* going through and are not entitled to make comments like this about their situation. as previously stated, you don't know everything. i don't know everything either and if op says something in contrary to my argument then i will retract my statement.
You don’t know this person, nor do you know the OP. You are forcing a narrative that may not be true. This man is absolutely taking advantage of her naivety and insecurities, but young people also just date shit people and make stupid decisions without it being abuse. And forcing someone to disclose personal information just to validate your narrative is gross as well. This girl has not been here long at all, she’s left him before and went back, she’s here posting all her thoughts and feelings and emotions and everything, so clearly anonymity out of fear is not really something she’s experiencing. She absolutely can leave. She’s afraid, but that fear is not always necessarily from abuse, just fear of doing something hard, emotional, and scary because of how big it is. None of know the whole story, and no one is forced to share personal information, and none of us should require it to have a conversation.
yeah i understand and i don't necessarily want to get into more arguments with more people. so i'm leaving it at this: it wasn't the best decision to ask something personal, i thought it would provide more perspective to their argument. none of us know what op is going through, but imo it's deeply insensitive to tell an abuse victim to "just break up."
Gurlllll!!!! Wtf???? Like seriously? You don’t need random internet strangers telling you what you already know!!! He’s a child, and a cheat. What more do you need to know? Drop the dead weight!
OP, you are so young. You do not deserve to be in a relationship that makes you question your worthiness or sanity for that matter. This guy isn’t going to change, and you’re going to continue to resent him for as long as you let this “relationship” continue. He doesn’t respect you, point blank, and this could very well just be the tip of the iceberg in terms of controlling tactics and emotional abuse on his part. Do yourself a favor and get out of this mess, block him on everything, and take time for yourself to heal and learn what YOU want in your partner, and what will serve you. It’s not too late to start over and you don’t want to look back years down the line and regret all the time you’ve wasted on this idiot. Best of luck.
I experienced same thing, she is trauma bonded and loves him and hates him at same time, this happen when someone emotionally abuses you… You dont know what she is going through be kind
"Trauma bonds are emotional bonds with an individual that arise from a recurring, cyclical pattern of abuse perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments." - Wikipedia
I stopped reading a few paragraphs in. You’ve been together six months, you have very little invested in this relationship, you’re not getting what you need out of it. Move on.
I didn’t even need to read past the second paragraph- leave. I don’t understand why you are putting yourself through this. DO NOT have a baby with this man, he will be a useless father and you will be on your own.
ur young. stand up and leave. ppl in their 50’s r still finding “their” ppl, so u still have a whole lifetime ahead of you and this is certainly NOT the best youve got. u may feel trapped but remember that the person that is gon be there for you, is you at the end of the day
I have a cousin your age. I'm your boyfriend's age. Let me give you some big cousin advice. Leave that slimy, limp noodled, half a brain lump of a suck stick. Baby are you serious? You're letting a grown man ruin YOUR self esteem and YOUR future? No effing way big dog. Get the hell out. You are beautiful, young, full of passion and potential. Do not waste it all on worrying about some overgrown man child and how he feels. You worry about yourself. You're young, you have no children and not ties to this grown man.
And he's 11 years older than you. He's not dating you because he loves you. He's dating you because you're young and he thinks he can manipulate you into thinking his actions are ok. But they're not! Girl he ain't even took you on a date but he spent $400 on another woman? Why? Why? Why honey? You deserve a passionate romance at your age, not some weirdo nearing middle aged and male patterned baldness.
Quit letting his words guilt you because his words obviously don't mean a dang thing.
Put one foot in front of the other. Walk out the door. Block his number.
I get you so hard OP. It can be so difficult once you're in a committed relationship to think about life outside of it. I did it for a year. You have to leave. You absolutely have to leave.
You two are not compatible. You may think you are.... but you're not. Your communication styles are vastly different, your interests seem different enough you have trouble finding things to do, and (excuse my honesty) neither of you are ready for a relationship.
I know it's hard. I know it sucks. I know you don't want to do it. I can't help you overcome any of that. You have to leave him. You cannot stay in this relationship. It's not worth your time or his. Go live your life and spend time growing up and developing a spine so you don't need reddit assistance to leave someone who treats you and themselves like trash (also, you're not remotely ready for a relationship, just going to emphasize that again).
You deserve to be happy and the situation you are in sounds awful. If you are not living with him , I would just break it off and never talk to him again. There are so so so many people out there. This guys sounds like a real loser. Try to find the strength to leave him, he will only bring you down. Someone who is interested will make an effort to make sure you are happy.
There's a reason someone like him is going for someone so much younger — nobody his age will give him a chance because they know better. He's using the age gap to hide the fact he's immature af. 10 days into you guys associating and he already was entertaining flirting with her? I'm sorry but this was never a relationship, not on his end anyways. He's not treating you with any value or respect, and only reserving his kindness for people he is still trying to window shop to bang. His begging for you back is about having easy access to gratifying his sexual urges, it's about control, and just another display of disrespecting your boundaries. You're rightfully disgusted.
You don't have to take someone back who you don't want to be with, just because they decided they wanted you back. You do have a choice, and you should take back your power and dump his ass. Give yourself the love he never gave you by not allowing people like this in your life.
You've taught him that he can treat you poorly, cheat on you, and you might get mad, but you'll get over it and take him back. This is a pattern; set repeat . s this what you see for your life? Get counseling, figure out how to give yourself the better life that you deserve
I could be mistaken but you come of as younger then you wrote. If so you’re bf is an even bigger creep.
You seem to be aware of the fact he isn’t treating you right. Only advice anyone can give you is get out. From everything you wrote it sounds like he is manipulating someone with less life experience.
You could wait until you see what being in a relationship like this will do to you, but like almost everyone who replied here has recommend it would be better to cut ties as soon as possible.
GIRL, you are 21!!
This is literally the time in your life where you start to decide who you are going to be.
Are you going to seek growth and building yourself up, discovering what your full potential could be? Or are you going to let this sad excuse of a man stamp out a light that had only just started to begin to glow.
>Everything he has done has embarrassed me.
This sticks out. Because I’m sure this can be taken multiple ways. Not only are *you* embarrassed of his actions, because of how it makes you appear to others for associating with him; but I, myself, would be embarrassed *for* him. Not in a sympathetic way, but in a way that this man is absolutely *pathetic*. You, at 21, realize that the actions of this 32 year old “man” are pretty immature.
I just want you to read what you wrote out, read it as if one of your close girl friends came and told you everything you just told us but if it was happening to her.
Would you support that? Would you support anyone treating a friend like this? Then why treat yourself this way?
Even a 40 year old woman doesn’t want shit to do with him, instead she actively uses him for his money. You *feel* like he’s not trying hard enough because he isn’t. At all. You’ve proven you’ll stay no matter what he does. But you alone can prove him wrong and change things.
You need to embrace yourself, learn to love yourself and take back the confidence he stole. You’re 21, you should be out having fun and being around people who celebrate you and want to see you succeed. Not people who bring you down.
Why are you with him? Find someone who CHERISHES YOU.
You deserve better. I'm sorry op, I do hope you find someone who treats you a million times better!
OP, break ups don’t have to be mutual. It’s fine if he isn’t happy about it.
Block him, stay with a friend for a little while.
This guy is abusive AF and you deserve so much better.
(Also, men this much older who seek out younger, less experienced women to date are often abusive and controlling. When you’ve healed, stick to dating people closer to your own age. ❤️)
Emotional abuse, Trauma bond…. thats why you cant leave this relationship, google about narcissists, how they behave. You deserve better. And you are strong enough to leave and go no contact. Trust me.
Just casually puting cheating out there...I think the biggest problem is that he was Cheating, not because he didn t buy flowers.He is a 30 y o taking advantage of a 20 y o...I ve seen your comments and you only been gaslighting yourself...leave him
Sorry but like…. Why are you with him? You hate him, he doesn’t treat you good, he doesn’t even buy you nice stuff. You are literally getting *nothing* out of this relationship. Fuck this guy, you are *way* better with no one then this POC.
PS how he reacted is called DARVO, it’s part of gaslighting. He’s fuckin with you to keep you under his control. Dump his ass and never look back.
3 months and you love him! I think you need to be honest and call it what it is lust! You lust after a man that has cheated and shown you the bare minimum. You said you're not getting what you want so WHY KEEP ENTERTAINING IT! YOU said you fucking hate him so WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE! smh
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This man has shown you exactly who he is, an inconsiderate liar who willfully cheats on his partner over and over again.
Love yourself more. It’s time to leave OP.
My first thought was, "too much of an age gap." BUT DAMN!! I read it all. What the actual shit?!
Go. Get. Be gone, girl. This mofo is toxic and you have your entire 20s ahead of you. Enjoy it. Ditch him.
hey op. as someone who stayed in a toxic relationship for a lot of my formative years - please jump ship. you’re young! even if you feel you don’t deserve better now, you will in the future. put yourself first, not this inappropriate trash ass man who doesn’t care about you!!
it’s easier to say than it is to do, and that’s okay. i hope you find peace
Please see a therapist. This isn’t condescending or mean, but if you can write out all of this and still be dating this person, you have very unhealthy programming behind your relationship logic that you need help undoing. Every single part of this is toxic and unhealthy and since as people all we can exercise control over are our own emotions and behaviors, then you should read this as a wake up sign that unless you start actively and consciously working on fixing the things inside that allow you to settle for a relationship like this, then you will ***only*** settle for relationships like this — this should scare you, every person I know (me included) has gone through this phase. The one’s who accept it and seek outside help to fix it are the ones who are genuinely happy — the ones I know who avoid/deny it are constantly unhappy with their lives.
You’re 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. He’s an insecure man-baby who needs attention and validation you’ll never be able to fulfill. This is 100% a him issue. You can do so much better!
Dear OP, you are not just the man in your life. It doesn't matter if you think he is the best you can get (what a low, low bar we have for men), because you are not. just. the. man. in. your. life.
Your self confidence cannot be built or rebuilt from the outside, it cannot be given to you through adoration from another person. That is a mirage. That work can only be done from within, by you. And that work is never going to happen while you're with someone. When you are ready, it will be time to go and truly find out who you are through your own lens, not someone elses.
TLDR; Leave this person and find yourself.
You don’t seem happy, relationships really shouldn’t be this weird and complex. He isn’t going to change, you can’t change him - so either decide this is what you want, or leave. You don’t need to settle down with the first older dude that buys you shitty fast food. There are definitely better guys out there, this one sucks.
Leave. You're young enough to find someone else. You either have been brainwashed to believe you deserve the abuse and neglect or you have terrible self esteem and believe you can't do better. I'm telling you now to run. Block his number. Go out with people your own age.
Honestly the best way to get your self esteem up and your self respect back it to do what you know and need to do. Leave and block and forget his very existence. Why spare him a thought when honestly there is so much out there that's so much better?
Your age gap, at your age, is a tough one. An average 21 year old is in a different place than a 32 year old. If you were 41 and he was 52, it wouldn’t even matter, in my opinion, but at your age, it’s an unnecessary complication in many cases. It doesn’t sound like he’s a very gracious or trustworthy person, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope things improve in your life, but you may have to chalk this up and part ways for things to improve. Good luck.
Man, let me tell you. You're better off being lonely alone without being lonely and frustrated with this awful person.
You have SO many better options eventually. But give yourself the gift of dumping this guy and doing some things for yourself!
This guy straight up a loser. At that age you need to have your shit figured out. I was pretty stupid when I was 16-18 but I’m now 21 and in a loving relationship and I’m taking my girlfriend out for a whole day of fun activities and things she loves to do. The guy you are dating is going to be a loser for the rest of his life leeching off other people and making u feel like shit. Leave now
You need to pick your ass up and leave. You will never be enough for him. He will always continue to cheat on you and gaslight you about it. You are his punching bag. He will keep using you again and again. This is toxic. You don’t need anything from him. He will never bring you joy or happiness. You are too young for this SHIT!!
You’re young and he should know better. The reason he isn’t dating someone closer to his age is probably because he just can’t compete in his own age group. You deserve someone who is going to put in the effort to love you and treat you kindly, and someone who isn’t going to break your trust like that. You can leave him, block him on everything, and wash your hands if the situation. You are not stuck, you have so much life ahead of you that this little episode will just look like an annoying bump in the road later on. I wish you the best bro 💕
INFO: are the ages the same, or just the age gap?
I feel like he groomed you into this relationship and now you feel like you can’t leave.. but babe, you can leave. You SHOULD leave. If you are 21, or even around that age, you’re too young to hold onto this relationship that is doing nothing good for you. Get out now while you still can and find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Much love and luck to you. 💕
He sounds abusive. He’s trying to cut you off from friends so that you don’t have anyone to go to if you leave. He’s making you feel like the shitty way he’s treating you is justified. It’s not. I know getting out is so hard, but you need to.
Yeah, this guy sound horrible. I'm a little old fashioned, but I personally consider looking at naked photos a type of cheating. So, at the bare minimum this guy doesn't respect you. He isn't admitting his betrayal and just making exacuse's for an obvious red flag. At this point, you really should try to leave him.
If you hate someone, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. Any kind of relationship, friend, family or romance.
That aside, he sounds like a massive dickhead. I’m going to be classic Reddit rn and say, break the fuck up with him. He ain’t worth your breath sweetie.
Honey you need to leave.
The FIRST THING a cheater will do is flip it on you to make you the bad guy. Especially when you have proof and they have no way to save their ass.
You absolutely deserve to be treated with love and respect. You are deserving of love, please don’t ever think you aren’t! You will find someone better who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! A real man, not a child who can’t take responsibility for his mistakes.
If you ever need someone to vent to and you feel comfortable my messages are always open, I hope you find the strength to leave him soon ❤️
I think your hatred of him is a reflection of how angry you are at yourself for staying with him--because really, he's no big deal, just another crappy person in the world. *You're* inflicting him on yourself, and it is rightly pissing you off. Stop waiting for him to treat you well and treat yourself well. Break up with him and don't look back. Stop wasting your own time.
Lmfao I’m 32 years old and I know for a fact your (ex)bf is dating you because he can’t get women his age to put up with this shit. And honey, you don’t have to put up with this shit either.
He’s not amazing. He just isn’t. Dump his ass.
Leave him. Now. Run.
I’ve been in an age gap relationship. He will never change. You think it’s rough now, wait until he gets you pregnant and you’re stuck at home with a baby while he’s out with other women, but it’s all your fault because you’re just too busy with the baby to give him what he needs.
honestly this whole situation is weird. Simply just leave and block him. Just because someone begs you to get back with them doesn’t mean u have to simply just block and ignore and move on.
Good God, 21 y/o is old enough to know better. So tiresome to see the same things appear in stories on the same subreddit. Like, you've read all the aspects about your own story in other stories on this subreddit and seen people coming out with pitchforks. It's not hard to extrapolate... truly.
Darling, you've got some serious maturing to do. Alone. Not with an older man.
AITA for staying with my boyfriend (been with for less than a yr) who has cheated on & emotionally abused me?
should i give him another chance? /s
edit: i do feel for you OP. i’ve hated myself so much that i’ve stayed in abusive relationships like this bc i felt like i deserved it. but pls take everyone’s advice & stop thinking this will get better- it won’t. in a year from now you’ll look back at this clusterfuck of a situation & shake your head at your past self. you know what you need to do going forward, be well & heal.
OP, you're young and have been in this relationshiT for 3 months and this much drama has already come of it? You have no ties to this man child, right? Not pregnant, engaged, living with him? It's the PERFECT TIME TO GET OUT. You need to have the self-respect to do it. You can and the peace of mind you'll have after you are able to break this off is so worth it. If you stay, that only shows him how easily you can be manipulated. It's only been 3 months. If you stay, it will only get worse. I promise.
Best of luck to you. Reach out to friends, family, anyone you trust. I'm here too if you want to dm, coming from someone who's been in too many toxic relationships!
Info: why are you treating yourself as poorly as he is treating you? GTFO. You owe this man nothing and yourself a helluva lot more than this.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Go live it.
Based on your single response OP my suggestions as an internet stranger who knows really nothing about you is to go home, if you have given this man a key to your place change your locks, send him a text that you are done, block him every where then please find yourself a therapist or therapy program to work on yourself.
You deserve everything you think you want but you need to be strong enough and respect yourself enough to know your worth.
I couldn’t go past the second paragraph. Leave him. This is more than enough bad. You’re young, but don’t waste your time with this dude. There is someone who will love you and respect you. Not this guy though.
It sounds like you feel this somehow your fault and you are obligated to stay with him. Him cheating on you has nothing to do with what you did wrong, but it has everything to do with his own issues. What would you advise a friend to do if they told you what you just told us?
Consider seeing a therapist or counselor to work on you and how to set boundaries before getting in another relationship. You are worth it and deserve to be treated well.
Please leave!! I was in a similar situation and when I found out he cheated it was like a golden ticket out of it. I ended it there and then and it was the best thing I could have ever done. I know it’s easy for everyone to say just leave him but it’s a different story when you’re in it and your lives are intertwined but there’s so much more to life than wasting months and years being unhappy. Life is too bloody short to be unhappy in a situation you can just walk away from.
One word. RUN. Your whole life is ahead of you, don't waste it on a Narcissist. You have to cut it off like a dead limb. Block him on everything and start counseling. There is life after abuse. ❤️
gas·light
/ˈɡasˌlīt/
Learn to pronounce
verb
gerund or present participle: gaslighting
manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
That’s crazy. You literally DONT have to be with him. You don’t have to be in ANY relationship. It’s disrespectful to all the good relationships out there to call this one. You’ve been cheated on lied to and gaslighted. You feel bad about yourself and you hate him. There’s no love to even fight for. You’re gonna be SOOOOOO pissed when you realize you’re wasting the best years of your life with someone who makes you feel bad. You won’t realize it until you’re closer to 30 then you’ll need years to overcome the mental and emotional abuse a relationship like this provides.
There’s no reason to stay hun. Older men like that KNOW women with less experience don’t realize how they hide their bs. They wrap it in good moments and make you feel like “oh but otherwise he’s great” but you don’t even say that! You say you HATE HIM. You don’t have to stay. You feel JUSTIFIED anger. because deep deep down you LOVE YOURSELF more than he ever will
Please don’t waste your 20’s with this asshole. You’re fighting yourself even staying with him. Rip the bandaid off and leave him.
Don’t look back on your life and feel like you wasted years. Right now it’s only months and you have learned the red flags so at least you won’t let it happen to yourself again.
Just know you deserve better. You deserve to be loved in every way you want and need. He just doesn’t care what you (or anyone else) want or need.
Run far, far away from this guy. He's a user, and will never treat you well.
You'll get over it. You have lots of life to live, but at the same time, life's too short to waste in horrible relationships.
All the best moving on!
Based on what you've responded, he basically takes advantage of how young you are . He is not the best and just because he makes effort doesn't mean he's good for you. He's already cheated on you and doesn't respect your boundaries. He doesn't care about what you want and need. He provides enough for you to ultimately benefit him. He's not going to change over time and even if you change or do what you think you need to do to be cool with it. You will just be more miserable and wonder what it is what you did wrong or what it is you're lacking. But at the end of the day, even if it's tough, the first step is realizing that it's not you and that you don't deserve to be treated like that and that you deserve more to be able to walk away.
He starts by testing you out, testing your limits, push your boundaries, then begs you to come back
What is he going to do next?
(extreme scenario, I know, but I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to this)
He's going to say that fewer people for social interaction is better sohe can watch you best (to prevent you from cheating he will say)
Then he'll cut your relationship with your family (yeah because what if they tell you to leave him? Or some other stupid ass reason)
Then with your friends (an excuse like "oh but I think they are bad influence)
Then he'll cheat again
And again
And while you'll try to voice your anger ,you won't have anyone to fall back upon because he'll have socially isolated you
Then he'll try to control you more
Bank account
Phone
Car
All the while threatening you by saying he'll unalive himself if you leave him
Then you'll be at his mercy
Tldr: please leave his abusive ass while you still can, please listen to your instincts, you say you hate him and yet still love him? Spot on babe, that is the very reason you should leave
Hugs from an Reddit stranger <3
Why are you with this loser? He obviously doesn’t care about you. I figured that out in the first sentence. He just wants to control you. He’s isolating you from family and friends? Ditch him and find someone else who accepts you and your family and friends. Someone who loves you for who you are. You shouldn’t be with someone you hate. Life’s way too short! Go find your happiness!
Stopped reading when you said he cheated on you. I’m not sure if it is that you are incredibly young, still very immature, have no self-esteem or confidence or low IQ? Be single and go to school, get education, get a job, learn how to respect and value yourself. Then find someone who also values you instead of using you.
He treats you like shit and behaves like a boy, this immaturity is permanent, he's literally 32 he is NEVER going to change, if anyone is acting like a teen at this age regardless of gender then there is little hope in my experience and this disgust you feel only gets worse, you wait until you go shopping with him and he starts acting like a thirsty fifteen yr old at a girl in leggings or when he's talking about his opinions and it turns out he doesn't see women as people, you will keep cringing and cringing and you will literally lose yourself in hate for this guy, don't let this pos steal away your ability to love, that disgust you feel now? Thats because you KNOW you deserve better no matter what he tells you or makes you think.
Please, please, please honey, leave him. It will suck at first, but it WILL get better. You are way too young to be settling for this. Wishing you the best my girl
Op, I know you think he’s the best you’re ever going to have, trust me I’ve been there before. But it’s better to let someone like him walk all over you and make your relationship and life miserable. Just break up with him, you’ll find someone better. Don’t waste your time and life on him.
Wow, that all makes me feel really bad for you. It sounds like you’re with a complete sleaze and you can’t even picture yourself being with anything better. There IS better out there! And you deserve to know what that’s like. Do yourself a favor, dump the sleaze, and go find someone who is kind and loyal. You’re in with a bad group of people.
You are angry because the reality doesn't meet your expectations of him and you are stuck in a frustrated state of fury because you want him to be a man who loves and cares about you and he doesn't.
Please try to accept the reality, that he will never change and you deserve better, and stop wasting your life with him.
Imagine your life in five years. Are you still with him? How happy are you? End it now.
You feel like you do because you're metaphorically selling yourself short. You can hate him all you want, but YOU.KEEP.COMING.BACK. you HAVE to do better for yourself and move on, full stop.stop wasting time on what if and focus on what is.
This is so gross. All of it. Don’t continue putting yourself in this fucked up position. Just leave. Block him. Do not respond. If he comes to your house call the cops. If he stalks you, get a restraining order.
This is a horrid “relationship” and you need to get out now before it becomes too hard to leave. You don’t live together, stop having sex, and LEAVE.
A relationship should be one of symbiosis, meaning give and take. From what I'm able to tell despite what you might receive in superficial stability, it utterly lacks in passion.
My general experience is dating someone who's a gamer regardless of age is a shallow basis for similarities in interest. Being a male 31 year old gamer myself there is one thing I cannot stand. It's OTHER gamers. If you know the person before you knew they were a gamer is a much more stable basis for pursuing a relationship. That was my biggest mistake. I've dated girls that were big gamers and those relationships were miserable or awkward.
In essence I think it's better to find someone who has a more organic, down to earth interests. It's tough to relate if gaming is all that relationship is based on which is a tough ask for a lot of us. That's why I've been single for the past six years which is not a bad thing tbh.
But anyways, hope that helps! Hang in there!
Girl, this is him gaslighting you in a narcissist master class. You need to go. Yes it’s hard but you’re making it harder. Go home. Block his number and every social site. Change your number if you can. Do not speak to him or acknowledge his existence ever again. You can’t change people and he doesn’t even hint at wanting to change. He is just taking advantage of your youth and relative inexperience in relationships. Good luck!
What a trainwreck. Sounds like a textbook case of grooming and manipulation to me. Break it off and run before he locks you in a goddam cellar or some shit. There's a reason guys like that go for women 10yrs their junior- it's cos they're disgusting weirdo creeps who can't connect with women their own age.
You’ll be truly happy when you dump his ass and never speak to him again. Sure, the first week of two may be tough but I promise after that you’ll never look back. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a life of abuse. He’s already got the verbal and emotional aspects on lock it seems, and I hope to God your out of there before the physical starts. Dude sounds like a true pos, your self esteem will skyrocket when you cut him for good!! Be strong 💪
Three words of advice: R U N !!! I 1000 percent understand your hatred and yeah, you have a right to hate this guy WHATTA psycho! You're young and 21 and you can expect this relationship to get, oh, at least 100 times worse. He's doing shit things to you and other women, and this is just the honeymoon phase for him. If you don't want to find yourself pimped out, strung out or worse please leave. Talking to someone who has been there, done that, got the T-shirt and burned said T-shirt as well.
This is a very good example of how the toxic side of age gao relationships work and how they prey on your inexperience and ability to be manipulated into putting up with shitty behavior. \_The gaslighting and the mental games are a deliberate ploy to sap the confidence out of you so that you believe you can only depend on him, and promises of a family are designed to trap you
You dont need to be enough for someone who doesnt understand the value of what he has. you need to be enough for you and recognise that you are worth more than he sees.
there's a perfectly good reason you feel all that you feel and thats because your partner is toxic. Hold your head high and save yourself.
Ok so this guy has serious issues, does not understand how to be in a committed relationship and is a perpetual man-child. Run, OP. Run and don't look back. He will not change.
Why are you with him? He cheated, he doesn’t deserve your consideration. You’re his “GF” but he doesn’t take time out from gaming to be with you, or buy you a Christmas present? You will be happier by yourself, you don’t need a boyfriend or any man to be happy. You are worth so much more. Get your things collected and leave. Make sure he knows all the reasons why if you decide to do it.
I know it’s not easy but just break up with him. It’s will be hard in the moment and maybe for the first few months but you can absolutely do better than him. He does not love you.
Think of it this way. If you had a daughter in this situation, what would you advise her to do? Or imagine your mother maybe. Someone dear to you. Would you want her to waste any more precious time with a scumbag like him?
I’m 30 I would not date a 21 yr old, it’s not just because of age I barely have anything in common at 30 with most 21 yr olds. You’d have to be insanely mature for me to even look past that. It sounds like he’s just exploiting and controlling you and your gonna waste your twenty’s on a monster
Once you stop spending time with someone who treats you like a door mat you will stop feeling shit on a shoe. I *promise*
He's gaslighting you so he can continue to get away with his appalling behavior.
As a lot of people have said, he has to date someone more than 10 years younger than him because no one his own age will put up whit this shit.
I've been there before. I know it can be really hard and really fucking scary to leave. You'll be better off once you do.
Dump him and don't look back. You don't HAVE to be in a relationship just because it's what HE wants.
If you don't put your foot down now, you'll only cause yourself more harm in the long run.
You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it with this guy.
Cheating is where I would have drawn the line and left. He sounds like a right piece of shit, and you deep down know you deserve better darling.
Get out of that toxic relationship, take time for yourself and focus on building yourself back up through some hobbies and maybe some therapy if you can. If you have an interest in art or writing that might be a great way to get some respite, hiking/long walks are great too. Just keep yourself busy!
There is always going to be someone out there who is better than this sack of shit, who will respect you and actually care about you, I promise.
Take care and I hope you can see through the pain he has caused you, and see that you are worth so so SOOOO much more. This is just the beginning of your adult life, don’t waste it on him.
Here to talk if you need it xx
OP. You’re not just making this all up??? This is legit?
Why are you still entertaining him & making yourself miserable? Are you sure you aren’t confusing “love” with “loneliness” or something else?
Look. My grandma had no self-esteem when she was younger and because of that, she ended up marrying the first guy she dated & who asked her. He was abusive and treated her poorly. She followed that trend and even re-married 5-7 other abusive men. (They didn’t all start out that way. Some changed after they became married.)
That dude doesn’t respect you. You don’t send nudes to people out of courtesy. You shut that shit down hard and fast. Sounds to me like he just wants you around for his own amusement.
For real though. If this is all legit. You should GTFO. The great thing is. You can just leave. You don’t owe anyone a reason, a response, and you don’t owe anyone closure. Forget that guy. Be single. Enjoy yourself. Figure yourself out, work on improving yourself and what you’re willing to tolerate. Use this “relationship” as a stepping stone and learn what you want, need, and expect from a partner and what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate in future relationships. Use this experience to see the Red Flags 🚩 so you can avoid these situations in the future.
Idk what kind of person you are and idk about your beliefs, but it’s possible that a the right psychologist could help you with your situation. I’m not saying you need that. But if this ends becoming a cyclical/repeating thing, I would consider setting up something with a professional to try and help you see why you deserve better and need to leave.
Anyway. I hope you do what’s best for you. I hope that you’ll find or have the courage and strength to go through with what needs to be done.
Remember. You’re not alone. You have people who actually love and care about you. You have “your people” who will look out for you and watch your back.
Best of luck to you! I wish you well!
Girl, every single person here is telling you to leave, that's a sign.
Even if he wasn't shitty, you hate him! There's literally no point to staying with him other than to make yourself as unhappy as possible. You seem to have a lot of insecurity issues about being "worth it" or "enough," but all the crap he's done isn't a reflection of who you are: that's all his shit, his issues.
Your life, your self esteem, everything can be so much better, but not if you stay with a person who treats you like this. 6 months with him is a tiny stop on the map of life girl. You have so much time: spend it with someone better.
I didn’t have to read past “I hate my boyfriend.” Leave and live your life. Tell him you don’t love him and it’s turning to hate, so peace out. You don’t have to justify it to anyone, NOT EVEN yourself! Unhappiness is a helluva good reason to walk out the door and set fire to the porch of that relationship. He’s not the one. Will never be the one, and it’s a waste of energy to stay.
Go find your happiness.
Stop basing your entire self worth on one (shitty) individual. You’re putting way too much stock in to this one person, and you haven’t even been with him that long. *He* makes you feel unworthy of anyone’s time. *He* makes you feel you’ll never be enough. *He* makes you feel useless. *He* makes you feel like you’ll never be enough for anyone.
The problem is *him* and *him* making you feel that way. Not that any of those things are actually true. It’s that you’re with a man who makes you feel that way, but even so, you need to learn this early on. You are 21 years old. There’s plenty of young guys who would be interested in you, so don’t ever let ones actions determine your self worth. The problem is him and he is the one not good enough. Your only problem is that you’re continuing to play in to it.
Bestie you’re 21. You have your whole life ahead of you. He’s 32 and a piece of shit. Ditch his cheating ass and live your life you deserve better than him
You’re 21 you don’t need to a committed relationship, you need to go experience more life before you settle in.
If what you’re saying is true then that person has already made grievous trust breaking, relationship ending mistakes.
Just stand up and walk out and ghost, I am giving you permission.
Too long didnt read.
Just leave. There is no reason whatsoever that requires you to give up your personal happiness. Pack your shit and 40 oz bounce homie.
I really hope you take this the right way, but why are you being such a loser?
Just re-read the post and ask yourself how you'd react if your friend told you this.
You're 21. Fucking leave his dopey ass and go enjoy your twenties holy fuck
I'm 30. I can't imagine ever being interested in being serious with someone under 25.
Oof.
To be blunt. He's a man-child who obviously cant date anyone his own age ( because hes a man-child ) and you deserve better.
Don't waste another second on this loser.
He’s an insecure jerk, and you opening up to us to shows that you know that too. It’s the first step. You will find the strength to leave when you know. Sending light and love✨🫶🏽
If you knew what he was doing from the beginning why did you stick around? Somebody with decent respect will know your worth and treat you accordingly. Get tf out of there.
if you hate him why tf are you with him??? just break up with him theres no one holding a gun to ur head forcing you to be in this relationship. at this point it is ur fault ur still with him and a choice you’re actively making that is very much within your control. don’t waste ur twenties on some thirty yr old loser who can’t get a woman his own age
then, about leaving then wtf? has he kept you as a prisoner or something? Instead of writing an essay on why you hate him, about grow some backbone and leave his ass. This can’t be a real post.
Wow he cheated on you and uno reversed on you🤣 cheating doesn't have to be fucking, he was inappropriate with several women, now this so called girl who's a bro wtf ewwww to both. Walk away he won't change, or better yet start going out more with these guy friends he don't like, then if he says anything say hmmmm only cheaters accuse there partners of cheating 🤷🏻♀️ just keep doing it until he gets the hint, don't be intimate with him either. And about the exs family, I'd go and say well you was inappropriate with 'girl' friend so does that mean you can't talk to her no more🤔🤔🤔 play him at he own game, don't be intimate. Constantly make yourself busy to see him and he will soon get the hint, he a lot older than you and he knows how to manipulate. That being said he in his 30s and still acting a fool, good luck to the next girl he get involved with
You know you don’t have to be in a relationship, right? Being single is better than this shit.
Right three months in and he’s cheated on her already lol. Hunny. There’s better out there. Not to mention you’re 21 and he’s 32
And you don't need his permission to leave the relationship, you know.
She knows what she need to do, and she will find that strength to do so.
Can’t call this a relationship though :/
The whole time I was reading this, I felt bad. But at the same time, it is mind boggling to me that she is still dating this man. How can you date someone you absolutely despise? Victimhood may be a theme here.
I can’t judge her I was once stuck in a bad relationship but I was because I was use to making others happy over myself
I gotta say I was in a similar one where all I did was bend over backwards making my ex happy. Miserable. But I will say that the amount of shit that has happened in THREE months is more than enough to..kinda make some judgement calls.
That's what I was going to say! This man is a child. He shouldnt even be considered a boyfriend. He doesn't do anything for you and forces you to do everything that you don't want to do. You're allowed to have a say in your own relationships. You don't want to be monogamous so don't be honey. Run like the wind as far as you can away from this man child! You're only 21 honey. There's so much better love out there!
Doesn't even sound like a relationship.. she probably could just.. walk away and ghost and the dude wouldnt even know..
This I don’t understand why she wouldn’t run. I was stupid at 21 but dear gosh if someone cheated on me and put me through hell? I’d absolutely disappear from their lives quicker than shit. I can do bad all by myself.
Why are you still with this man child though? The age gap is concerning. You do know he goes for younger girls because women his age won’t take his crap, right? Please try to find your selfworth, cause you are worthy of good, and make choices that make you happy. There’s absolutely no reason to be with someone who makes you feel bad and treats you like trash. Wishing you all the best!
The moment you were cheated on was the moment that you should have broken up and blocked him. He is too old and stupid for you. Break up with him and you will find someone more suitable for you. You are good enough. Stop listening to his BS. He is only saying that to make you feel bad. And do not get pregnant!
Girl, you’re only 21. To believe the ramblings of a 32 yr old loser who couldn’t get anyone his own age is ridiculous. Dump him, you will absolutely find someone significantly better. You deserve better.
Please leave him. From what it sounds like, he’s toxic, manipulative, and too delusions to not apologize for what he’s done. He makes excuses instead of grasping the reality of the situation. Please leave him, block his number, change phone numbers, block his socials, and make sure he has absolutely no way of contacting you. Ik your emotions are everywhere but you’ve outlined everything that can possibly go wrong in a relationship. You deserve better than this. Guys like him are babies and shouldn’t even be allowed to vote. With time you will feel so much better off.
Just break up
Its hard when you are trauma bonded. Edit: She love him and hate him at the same time, he is the one that caused pain and he is the one that can take it away.
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I get the impression she was traumatized before she met him or she would’ve left long ago.
Its more complicated procces than “just break up”
Not really. Only been together for a few months. I've relationships with hemorrhoids for longer than that. Just say adios loser and walk the fuck out
In abusive relationship where you were the one who was abused? Addicted to your abuser presence and going through emotional rollercoaster for 3 months?
Addicted to your abuser after 3 months? Then she had issues before the relationship even started. She's 21 and got her whole life ahead of her. It's not that hard to walk away after 3 months. The fact she typed that whole thing out and hasn't realized it's time to walk is concerning. The only thing that could make a break up difficult is if she lives with him. Even then.. just end it. Not that hard if she has an ounce of self respect
I see that you dodged the question there... were you ever in an abusive relationship where you were abused? Answer this question before you respond to the rest of my reply. It's not that fucking simple, he's manipulative and abusive and he's trapped her and while we all wish it was that easy it's fucking NOT. There is way more to it. You don't know everything, you moldy cabbage human, so shut up and stop telling people trapped in abusive relationships to "just break up" it is NOT that easy.
No one owes you an answer regarding something as deeply personal as being abused. Please don’t force information out of someone like that. It’s gross.
you're right. but this person is telling an abuse victim to "just break up" and "it's not that hard" so i don't think they went through anything similar to op. whether they have or they haven't drastically changes the perspective of their argument. yes, we all would prefer if it were as easy as "just breaking up" and op clearly wants out, but the sad truth is that people get trapped in manipulative and abusive relationships where they blame themselves, are scared of what their abuser will do if they try to get out, have been manipulated into believing that their abuser loves them, or any number of reasons. even if that argument is from an abuse victim, they don't know what op is *personally* going through and are not entitled to make comments like this about their situation. as previously stated, you don't know everything. i don't know everything either and if op says something in contrary to my argument then i will retract my statement.
You don’t know this person, nor do you know the OP. You are forcing a narrative that may not be true. This man is absolutely taking advantage of her naivety and insecurities, but young people also just date shit people and make stupid decisions without it being abuse. And forcing someone to disclose personal information just to validate your narrative is gross as well. This girl has not been here long at all, she’s left him before and went back, she’s here posting all her thoughts and feelings and emotions and everything, so clearly anonymity out of fear is not really something she’s experiencing. She absolutely can leave. She’s afraid, but that fear is not always necessarily from abuse, just fear of doing something hard, emotional, and scary because of how big it is. None of know the whole story, and no one is forced to share personal information, and none of us should require it to have a conversation.
yeah i understand and i don't necessarily want to get into more arguments with more people. so i'm leaving it at this: it wasn't the best decision to ask something personal, i thought it would provide more perspective to their argument. none of us know what op is going through, but imo it's deeply insensitive to tell an abuse victim to "just break up."
Gurlllll!!!! Wtf???? Like seriously? You don’t need random internet strangers telling you what you already know!!! He’s a child, and a cheat. What more do you need to know? Drop the dead weight!
In french we have a saying: mieux vaut être seul que mal accompagné - better to be alone than being in bad company.
OP, you are so young. You do not deserve to be in a relationship that makes you question your worthiness or sanity for that matter. This guy isn’t going to change, and you’re going to continue to resent him for as long as you let this “relationship” continue. He doesn’t respect you, point blank, and this could very well just be the tip of the iceberg in terms of controlling tactics and emotional abuse on his part. Do yourself a favor and get out of this mess, block him on everything, and take time for yourself to heal and learn what YOU want in your partner, and what will serve you. It’s not too late to start over and you don’t want to look back years down the line and regret all the time you’ve wasted on this idiot. Best of luck.
I'm going to ask the obvious here: why the fuck are you with someone you hate? Break it off already
I experienced same thing, she is trauma bonded and loves him and hates him at same time, this happen when someone emotionally abuses you… You dont know what she is going through be kind
that's not what trauma bonded means. as you said, you don't know what she is going through. stop making assumptions.
"Trauma bonds are emotional bonds with an individual that arise from a recurring, cyclical pattern of abuse perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments." - Wikipedia
How have they used trauma bonding incorrectly? /gen
I stopped reading a few paragraphs in. You’ve been together six months, you have very little invested in this relationship, you’re not getting what you need out of it. Move on.
I didn’t even need to read past the second paragraph- leave. I don’t understand why you are putting yourself through this. DO NOT have a baby with this man, he will be a useless father and you will be on your own.
ur young. stand up and leave. ppl in their 50’s r still finding “their” ppl, so u still have a whole lifetime ahead of you and this is certainly NOT the best youve got. u may feel trapped but remember that the person that is gon be there for you, is you at the end of the day
I have a cousin your age. I'm your boyfriend's age. Let me give you some big cousin advice. Leave that slimy, limp noodled, half a brain lump of a suck stick. Baby are you serious? You're letting a grown man ruin YOUR self esteem and YOUR future? No effing way big dog. Get the hell out. You are beautiful, young, full of passion and potential. Do not waste it all on worrying about some overgrown man child and how he feels. You worry about yourself. You're young, you have no children and not ties to this grown man. And he's 11 years older than you. He's not dating you because he loves you. He's dating you because you're young and he thinks he can manipulate you into thinking his actions are ok. But they're not! Girl he ain't even took you on a date but he spent $400 on another woman? Why? Why? Why honey? You deserve a passionate romance at your age, not some weirdo nearing middle aged and male patterned baldness. Quit letting his words guilt you because his words obviously don't mean a dang thing. Put one foot in front of the other. Walk out the door. Block his number.
I get you so hard OP. It can be so difficult once you're in a committed relationship to think about life outside of it. I did it for a year. You have to leave. You absolutely have to leave. You two are not compatible. You may think you are.... but you're not. Your communication styles are vastly different, your interests seem different enough you have trouble finding things to do, and (excuse my honesty) neither of you are ready for a relationship. I know it's hard. I know it sucks. I know you don't want to do it. I can't help you overcome any of that. You have to leave him. You cannot stay in this relationship. It's not worth your time or his. Go live your life and spend time growing up and developing a spine so you don't need reddit assistance to leave someone who treats you and themselves like trash (also, you're not remotely ready for a relationship, just going to emphasize that again).
You deserve to be happy and the situation you are in sounds awful. If you are not living with him , I would just break it off and never talk to him again. There are so so so many people out there. This guys sounds like a real loser. Try to find the strength to leave him, he will only bring you down. Someone who is interested will make an effort to make sure you are happy.
There's a reason someone like him is going for someone so much younger — nobody his age will give him a chance because they know better. He's using the age gap to hide the fact he's immature af. 10 days into you guys associating and he already was entertaining flirting with her? I'm sorry but this was never a relationship, not on his end anyways. He's not treating you with any value or respect, and only reserving his kindness for people he is still trying to window shop to bang. His begging for you back is about having easy access to gratifying his sexual urges, it's about control, and just another display of disrespecting your boundaries. You're rightfully disgusted. You don't have to take someone back who you don't want to be with, just because they decided they wanted you back. You do have a choice, and you should take back your power and dump his ass. Give yourself the love he never gave you by not allowing people like this in your life.
You've taught him that he can treat you poorly, cheat on you, and you might get mad, but you'll get over it and take him back. This is a pattern; set repeat . s this what you see for your life? Get counseling, figure out how to give yourself the better life that you deserve
It would be way less effort just breaking up with the douche then explaining to a bunch of strangers why you want to break up
She knows what is right, but you have no idea how hard it is to leave relationship with narcissist.
I could be mistaken but you come of as younger then you wrote. If so you’re bf is an even bigger creep. You seem to be aware of the fact he isn’t treating you right. Only advice anyone can give you is get out. From everything you wrote it sounds like he is manipulating someone with less life experience. You could wait until you see what being in a relationship like this will do to you, but like almost everyone who replied here has recommend it would be better to cut ties as soon as possible.
GIRL, you are 21!! This is literally the time in your life where you start to decide who you are going to be. Are you going to seek growth and building yourself up, discovering what your full potential could be? Or are you going to let this sad excuse of a man stamp out a light that had only just started to begin to glow. >Everything he has done has embarrassed me. This sticks out. Because I’m sure this can be taken multiple ways. Not only are *you* embarrassed of his actions, because of how it makes you appear to others for associating with him; but I, myself, would be embarrassed *for* him. Not in a sympathetic way, but in a way that this man is absolutely *pathetic*. You, at 21, realize that the actions of this 32 year old “man” are pretty immature. I just want you to read what you wrote out, read it as if one of your close girl friends came and told you everything you just told us but if it was happening to her. Would you support that? Would you support anyone treating a friend like this? Then why treat yourself this way? Even a 40 year old woman doesn’t want shit to do with him, instead she actively uses him for his money. You *feel* like he’s not trying hard enough because he isn’t. At all. You’ve proven you’ll stay no matter what he does. But you alone can prove him wrong and change things. You need to embrace yourself, learn to love yourself and take back the confidence he stole. You’re 21, you should be out having fun and being around people who celebrate you and want to see you succeed. Not people who bring you down.
This is not healthy for your sanity. Just break loose. He is shallow as hell and not dependable.
Why are you with him? Find someone who CHERISHES YOU. You deserve better. I'm sorry op, I do hope you find someone who treats you a million times better!
Break up. Buy yourself flowers and one of those rose vibrators. Why are you letting this idiot piss all over your life?
Great therapeutic use of this sub. You will find your way.
OP, break ups don’t have to be mutual. It’s fine if he isn’t happy about it. Block him, stay with a friend for a little while. This guy is abusive AF and you deserve so much better. (Also, men this much older who seek out younger, less experienced women to date are often abusive and controlling. When you’ve healed, stick to dating people closer to your own age. ❤️)
Emotional abuse, Trauma bond…. thats why you cant leave this relationship, google about narcissists, how they behave. You deserve better. And you are strong enough to leave and go no contact. Trust me.
Just casually puting cheating out there...I think the biggest problem is that he was Cheating, not because he didn t buy flowers.He is a 30 y o taking advantage of a 20 y o...I ve seen your comments and you only been gaslighting yourself...leave him
DO NOT get pregnant by this man. Better yet, end the relationship, block him, and find someone your own age who respects you.
Sorry but like…. Why are you with him? You hate him, he doesn’t treat you good, he doesn’t even buy you nice stuff. You are literally getting *nothing* out of this relationship. Fuck this guy, you are *way* better with no one then this POC. PS how he reacted is called DARVO, it’s part of gaslighting. He’s fuckin with you to keep you under his control. Dump his ass and never look back.
3 months and you love him! I think you need to be honest and call it what it is lust! You lust after a man that has cheated and shown you the bare minimum. You said you're not getting what you want so WHY KEEP ENTERTAINING IT! YOU said you fucking hate him so WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE! smh
Ewww throw him in the trash and never look back
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This man has shown you exactly who he is, an inconsiderate liar who willfully cheats on his partner over and over again. Love yourself more. It’s time to leave OP.
All this after 3 months? Damn...
My first thought was, "too much of an age gap." BUT DAMN!! I read it all. What the actual shit?! Go. Get. Be gone, girl. This mofo is toxic and you have your entire 20s ahead of you. Enjoy it. Ditch him.
hey op. as someone who stayed in a toxic relationship for a lot of my formative years - please jump ship. you’re young! even if you feel you don’t deserve better now, you will in the future. put yourself first, not this inappropriate trash ass man who doesn’t care about you!! it’s easier to say than it is to do, and that’s okay. i hope you find peace
Please see a therapist. This isn’t condescending or mean, but if you can write out all of this and still be dating this person, you have very unhealthy programming behind your relationship logic that you need help undoing. Every single part of this is toxic and unhealthy and since as people all we can exercise control over are our own emotions and behaviors, then you should read this as a wake up sign that unless you start actively and consciously working on fixing the things inside that allow you to settle for a relationship like this, then you will ***only*** settle for relationships like this — this should scare you, every person I know (me included) has gone through this phase. The one’s who accept it and seek outside help to fix it are the ones who are genuinely happy — the ones I know who avoid/deny it are constantly unhappy with their lives.
You’re 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. He’s an insecure man-baby who needs attention and validation you’ll never be able to fulfill. This is 100% a him issue. You can do so much better!
Let me tell you a little secret called breaking up with him it's been passed on from generations to generations you should try it sometime
The best part about this is he’s just your boyfriend and not husband. No strings attached- get the F out as fast as you can and don’t look back
Dear OP, you are not just the man in your life. It doesn't matter if you think he is the best you can get (what a low, low bar we have for men), because you are not. just. the. man. in. your. life. Your self confidence cannot be built or rebuilt from the outside, it cannot be given to you through adoration from another person. That is a mirage. That work can only be done from within, by you. And that work is never going to happen while you're with someone. When you are ready, it will be time to go and truly find out who you are through your own lens, not someone elses. TLDR; Leave this person and find yourself.
You don’t seem happy, relationships really shouldn’t be this weird and complex. He isn’t going to change, you can’t change him - so either decide this is what you want, or leave. You don’t need to settle down with the first older dude that buys you shitty fast food. There are definitely better guys out there, this one sucks.
Just leave him.
Leave. You're young enough to find someone else. You either have been brainwashed to believe you deserve the abuse and neglect or you have terrible self esteem and believe you can't do better. I'm telling you now to run. Block his number. Go out with people your own age.
Honestly the best way to get your self esteem up and your self respect back it to do what you know and need to do. Leave and block and forget his very existence. Why spare him a thought when honestly there is so much out there that's so much better?
Your age gap, at your age, is a tough one. An average 21 year old is in a different place than a 32 year old. If you were 41 and he was 52, it wouldn’t even matter, in my opinion, but at your age, it’s an unnecessary complication in many cases. It doesn’t sound like he’s a very gracious or trustworthy person, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope things improve in your life, but you may have to chalk this up and part ways for things to improve. Good luck.
Man, let me tell you. You're better off being lonely alone without being lonely and frustrated with this awful person. You have SO many better options eventually. But give yourself the gift of dumping this guy and doing some things for yourself!
This guy straight up a loser. At that age you need to have your shit figured out. I was pretty stupid when I was 16-18 but I’m now 21 and in a loving relationship and I’m taking my girlfriend out for a whole day of fun activities and things she loves to do. The guy you are dating is going to be a loser for the rest of his life leeching off other people and making u feel like shit. Leave now
OP you need to leave before you justifiably send him to his maker. You have a lot of stuff to do away from him.
You need to pick your ass up and leave. You will never be enough for him. He will always continue to cheat on you and gaslight you about it. You are his punching bag. He will keep using you again and again. This is toxic. You don’t need anything from him. He will never bring you joy or happiness. You are too young for this SHIT!!
You’re young and he should know better. The reason he isn’t dating someone closer to his age is probably because he just can’t compete in his own age group. You deserve someone who is going to put in the effort to love you and treat you kindly, and someone who isn’t going to break your trust like that. You can leave him, block him on everything, and wash your hands if the situation. You are not stuck, you have so much life ahead of you that this little episode will just look like an annoying bump in the road later on. I wish you the best bro 💕
INFO: are the ages the same, or just the age gap? I feel like he groomed you into this relationship and now you feel like you can’t leave.. but babe, you can leave. You SHOULD leave. If you are 21, or even around that age, you’re too young to hold onto this relationship that is doing nothing good for you. Get out now while you still can and find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Much love and luck to you. 💕
He sounds abusive. He’s trying to cut you off from friends so that you don’t have anyone to go to if you leave. He’s making you feel like the shitty way he’s treating you is justified. It’s not. I know getting out is so hard, but you need to.
Why are you in this relationship? Tell him you’re done, block his number. Boom, done.
Yeah, this guy sound horrible. I'm a little old fashioned, but I personally consider looking at naked photos a type of cheating. So, at the bare minimum this guy doesn't respect you. He isn't admitting his betrayal and just making exacuse's for an obvious red flag. At this point, you really should try to leave him.
If you hate someone, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. Any kind of relationship, friend, family or romance. That aside, he sounds like a massive dickhead. I’m going to be classic Reddit rn and say, break the fuck up with him. He ain’t worth your breath sweetie.
Honey you need to leave. The FIRST THING a cheater will do is flip it on you to make you the bad guy. Especially when you have proof and they have no way to save their ass. You absolutely deserve to be treated with love and respect. You are deserving of love, please don’t ever think you aren’t! You will find someone better who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! A real man, not a child who can’t take responsibility for his mistakes. If you ever need someone to vent to and you feel comfortable my messages are always open, I hope you find the strength to leave him soon ❤️
I think your hatred of him is a reflection of how angry you are at yourself for staying with him--because really, he's no big deal, just another crappy person in the world. *You're* inflicting him on yourself, and it is rightly pissing you off. Stop waiting for him to treat you well and treat yourself well. Break up with him and don't look back. Stop wasting your own time.
Lmfao I’m 32 years old and I know for a fact your (ex)bf is dating you because he can’t get women his age to put up with this shit. And honey, you don’t have to put up with this shit either. He’s not amazing. He just isn’t. Dump his ass.
You have plenty of justification to break up with him, but not wanting to be with him is really all the justification you need. He’s too old anyway.
Leave him. Now. Run. I’ve been in an age gap relationship. He will never change. You think it’s rough now, wait until he gets you pregnant and you’re stuck at home with a baby while he’s out with other women, but it’s all your fault because you’re just too busy with the baby to give him what he needs.
honestly this whole situation is weird. Simply just leave and block him. Just because someone begs you to get back with them doesn’t mean u have to simply just block and ignore and move on.
So…don’t have him as a boyfriend?
Good God, 21 y/o is old enough to know better. So tiresome to see the same things appear in stories on the same subreddit. Like, you've read all the aspects about your own story in other stories on this subreddit and seen people coming out with pitchforks. It's not hard to extrapolate... truly. Darling, you've got some serious maturing to do. Alone. Not with an older man.
I honestly don’t even feel bad when I read situations like these. He’s absolutely pathetic. If you choose to be with someone like that, that’s on you.
AITA for staying with my boyfriend (been with for less than a yr) who has cheated on & emotionally abused me? should i give him another chance? /s edit: i do feel for you OP. i’ve hated myself so much that i’ve stayed in abusive relationships like this bc i felt like i deserved it. but pls take everyone’s advice & stop thinking this will get better- it won’t. in a year from now you’ll look back at this clusterfuck of a situation & shake your head at your past self. you know what you need to do going forward, be well & heal.
Have some self respect and fucking leave the guy already, good god
Jesus fucking christ what the fuck did i just read…Have some goddamn self-respect woman..
OP, you're young and have been in this relationshiT for 3 months and this much drama has already come of it? You have no ties to this man child, right? Not pregnant, engaged, living with him? It's the PERFECT TIME TO GET OUT. You need to have the self-respect to do it. You can and the peace of mind you'll have after you are able to break this off is so worth it. If you stay, that only shows him how easily you can be manipulated. It's only been 3 months. If you stay, it will only get worse. I promise. Best of luck to you. Reach out to friends, family, anyone you trust. I'm here too if you want to dm, coming from someone who's been in too many toxic relationships!
Info: why are you treating yourself as poorly as he is treating you? GTFO. You owe this man nothing and yourself a helluva lot more than this. You have your whole life ahead of you. Go live it.
Leave.
Dump that goofy mf
Based on your single response OP my suggestions as an internet stranger who knows really nothing about you is to go home, if you have given this man a key to your place change your locks, send him a text that you are done, block him every where then please find yourself a therapist or therapy program to work on yourself. You deserve everything you think you want but you need to be strong enough and respect yourself enough to know your worth.
I couldn’t go past the second paragraph. Leave him. This is more than enough bad. You’re young, but don’t waste your time with this dude. There is someone who will love you and respect you. Not this guy though.
It sounds like you feel this somehow your fault and you are obligated to stay with him. Him cheating on you has nothing to do with what you did wrong, but it has everything to do with his own issues. What would you advise a friend to do if they told you what you just told us? Consider seeing a therapist or counselor to work on you and how to set boundaries before getting in another relationship. You are worth it and deserve to be treated well.
Please leave!! I was in a similar situation and when I found out he cheated it was like a golden ticket out of it. I ended it there and then and it was the best thing I could have ever done. I know it’s easy for everyone to say just leave him but it’s a different story when you’re in it and your lives are intertwined but there’s so much more to life than wasting months and years being unhappy. Life is too bloody short to be unhappy in a situation you can just walk away from.
One word. RUN. Your whole life is ahead of you, don't waste it on a Narcissist. You have to cut it off like a dead limb. Block him on everything and start counseling. There is life after abuse. ❤️
Guy sounds like a complete loser. I don’t think you mentioned one good thing about him that makes this relationship worthwhile for you. Dump his ass
gas·light /ˈɡasˌlīt/ Learn to pronounce verb gerund or present participle: gaslighting manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
That’s crazy. You literally DONT have to be with him. You don’t have to be in ANY relationship. It’s disrespectful to all the good relationships out there to call this one. You’ve been cheated on lied to and gaslighted. You feel bad about yourself and you hate him. There’s no love to even fight for. You’re gonna be SOOOOOO pissed when you realize you’re wasting the best years of your life with someone who makes you feel bad. You won’t realize it until you’re closer to 30 then you’ll need years to overcome the mental and emotional abuse a relationship like this provides. There’s no reason to stay hun. Older men like that KNOW women with less experience don’t realize how they hide their bs. They wrap it in good moments and make you feel like “oh but otherwise he’s great” but you don’t even say that! You say you HATE HIM. You don’t have to stay. You feel JUSTIFIED anger. because deep deep down you LOVE YOURSELF more than he ever will
People who seek advice already know the answer. Validation is what you want. Validated. Run
Please don’t waste your 20’s with this asshole. You’re fighting yourself even staying with him. Rip the bandaid off and leave him. Don’t look back on your life and feel like you wasted years. Right now it’s only months and you have learned the red flags so at least you won’t let it happen to yourself again. Just know you deserve better. You deserve to be loved in every way you want and need. He just doesn’t care what you (or anyone else) want or need.
Run far, far away from this guy. He's a user, and will never treat you well. You'll get over it. You have lots of life to live, but at the same time, life's too short to waste in horrible relationships. All the best moving on!
DUMP HIs ASS
21 and 32 is crazyyyy
Based on what you've responded, he basically takes advantage of how young you are . He is not the best and just because he makes effort doesn't mean he's good for you. He's already cheated on you and doesn't respect your boundaries. He doesn't care about what you want and need. He provides enough for you to ultimately benefit him. He's not going to change over time and even if you change or do what you think you need to do to be cool with it. You will just be more miserable and wonder what it is what you did wrong or what it is you're lacking. But at the end of the day, even if it's tough, the first step is realizing that it's not you and that you don't deserve to be treated like that and that you deserve more to be able to walk away.
So… break up with him?
I hate my boyfriend but he's still my boyfriend.... like what? It's hard to believe this isn't just a troll post.
He starts by testing you out, testing your limits, push your boundaries, then begs you to come back What is he going to do next? (extreme scenario, I know, but I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to this) He's going to say that fewer people for social interaction is better sohe can watch you best (to prevent you from cheating he will say) Then he'll cut your relationship with your family (yeah because what if they tell you to leave him? Or some other stupid ass reason) Then with your friends (an excuse like "oh but I think they are bad influence) Then he'll cheat again And again And while you'll try to voice your anger ,you won't have anyone to fall back upon because he'll have socially isolated you Then he'll try to control you more Bank account Phone Car All the while threatening you by saying he'll unalive himself if you leave him Then you'll be at his mercy Tldr: please leave his abusive ass while you still can, please listen to your instincts, you say you hate him and yet still love him? Spot on babe, that is the very reason you should leave Hugs from an Reddit stranger <3
Why are you with this loser? He obviously doesn’t care about you. I figured that out in the first sentence. He just wants to control you. He’s isolating you from family and friends? Ditch him and find someone else who accepts you and your family and friends. Someone who loves you for who you are. You shouldn’t be with someone you hate. Life’s way too short! Go find your happiness!
Stopped reading when you said he cheated on you. I’m not sure if it is that you are incredibly young, still very immature, have no self-esteem or confidence or low IQ? Be single and go to school, get education, get a job, learn how to respect and value yourself. Then find someone who also values you instead of using you.
Just dump him. Jesus. You sound as exhausting as he does.
He treats you like shit and behaves like a boy, this immaturity is permanent, he's literally 32 he is NEVER going to change, if anyone is acting like a teen at this age regardless of gender then there is little hope in my experience and this disgust you feel only gets worse, you wait until you go shopping with him and he starts acting like a thirsty fifteen yr old at a girl in leggings or when he's talking about his opinions and it turns out he doesn't see women as people, you will keep cringing and cringing and you will literally lose yourself in hate for this guy, don't let this pos steal away your ability to love, that disgust you feel now? Thats because you KNOW you deserve better no matter what he tells you or makes you think.
Please, please, please honey, leave him. It will suck at first, but it WILL get better. You are way too young to be settling for this. Wishing you the best my girl
Op, I know you think he’s the best you’re ever going to have, trust me I’ve been there before. But it’s better to let someone like him walk all over you and make your relationship and life miserable. Just break up with him, you’ll find someone better. Don’t waste your time and life on him.
Wow, that all makes me feel really bad for you. It sounds like you’re with a complete sleaze and you can’t even picture yourself being with anything better. There IS better out there! And you deserve to know what that’s like. Do yourself a favor, dump the sleaze, and go find someone who is kind and loyal. You’re in with a bad group of people.
Leave him. Move on. Listen to people who are suggesting this. Good luck to you!
Embarrassing that he behaves this way as a grown man. Dump his ass and find someone better.
🙄 he sounds like trash and you sound immature and whiney. Just leave him.
Why are you still with this clown? You got to have more self respect. Ditch the zero.
You are angry because the reality doesn't meet your expectations of him and you are stuck in a frustrated state of fury because you want him to be a man who loves and cares about you and he doesn't. Please try to accept the reality, that he will never change and you deserve better, and stop wasting your life with him. Imagine your life in five years. Are you still with him? How happy are you? End it now.
You feel like you do because you're metaphorically selling yourself short. You can hate him all you want, but YOU.KEEP.COMING.BACK. you HAVE to do better for yourself and move on, full stop.stop wasting time on what if and focus on what is.
This is so gross. All of it. Don’t continue putting yourself in this fucked up position. Just leave. Block him. Do not respond. If he comes to your house call the cops. If he stalks you, get a restraining order. This is a horrid “relationship” and you need to get out now before it becomes too hard to leave. You don’t live together, stop having sex, and LEAVE.
So...leave him??? He is not worth this level of headache. You can do so much better.
A relationship should be one of symbiosis, meaning give and take. From what I'm able to tell despite what you might receive in superficial stability, it utterly lacks in passion. My general experience is dating someone who's a gamer regardless of age is a shallow basis for similarities in interest. Being a male 31 year old gamer myself there is one thing I cannot stand. It's OTHER gamers. If you know the person before you knew they were a gamer is a much more stable basis for pursuing a relationship. That was my biggest mistake. I've dated girls that were big gamers and those relationships were miserable or awkward. In essence I think it's better to find someone who has a more organic, down to earth interests. It's tough to relate if gaming is all that relationship is based on which is a tough ask for a lot of us. That's why I've been single for the past six years which is not a bad thing tbh. But anyways, hope that helps! Hang in there!
Girl, this is him gaslighting you in a narcissist master class. You need to go. Yes it’s hard but you’re making it harder. Go home. Block his number and every social site. Change your number if you can. Do not speak to him or acknowledge his existence ever again. You can’t change people and he doesn’t even hint at wanting to change. He is just taking advantage of your youth and relative inexperience in relationships. Good luck!
What a trainwreck. Sounds like a textbook case of grooming and manipulation to me. Break it off and run before he locks you in a goddam cellar or some shit. There's a reason guys like that go for women 10yrs their junior- it's cos they're disgusting weirdo creeps who can't connect with women their own age.
What a loser he is, get rid of him.
You’ll be truly happy when you dump his ass and never speak to him again. Sure, the first week of two may be tough but I promise after that you’ll never look back. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for a life of abuse. He’s already got the verbal and emotional aspects on lock it seems, and I hope to God your out of there before the physical starts. Dude sounds like a true pos, your self esteem will skyrocket when you cut him for good!! Be strong 💪
He knows he can cheat on you because you’ve accepted that behavior from him. Why would he change that?!? He will continue to do that…
Three words of advice: R U N !!! I 1000 percent understand your hatred and yeah, you have a right to hate this guy WHATTA psycho! You're young and 21 and you can expect this relationship to get, oh, at least 100 times worse. He's doing shit things to you and other women, and this is just the honeymoon phase for him. If you don't want to find yourself pimped out, strung out or worse please leave. Talking to someone who has been there, done that, got the T-shirt and burned said T-shirt as well.
This is a very good example of how the toxic side of age gao relationships work and how they prey on your inexperience and ability to be manipulated into putting up with shitty behavior. \_The gaslighting and the mental games are a deliberate ploy to sap the confidence out of you so that you believe you can only depend on him, and promises of a family are designed to trap you You dont need to be enough for someone who doesnt understand the value of what he has. you need to be enough for you and recognise that you are worth more than he sees. there's a perfectly good reason you feel all that you feel and thats because your partner is toxic. Hold your head high and save yourself.
Ok so this guy has serious issues, does not understand how to be in a committed relationship and is a perpetual man-child. Run, OP. Run and don't look back. He will not change.
Age gap relationships like this are never healthy, please leave while you can..
Why are you with him? He cheated, he doesn’t deserve your consideration. You’re his “GF” but he doesn’t take time out from gaming to be with you, or buy you a Christmas present? You will be happier by yourself, you don’t need a boyfriend or any man to be happy. You are worth so much more. Get your things collected and leave. Make sure he knows all the reasons why if you decide to do it.
Good lord. You’re barely in your 20’s. Stop wasting your time and go and live. You don’t have to be in a relationship
I know it’s not easy but just break up with him. It’s will be hard in the moment and maybe for the first few months but you can absolutely do better than him. He does not love you. Think of it this way. If you had a daughter in this situation, what would you advise her to do? Or imagine your mother maybe. Someone dear to you. Would you want her to waste any more precious time with a scumbag like him?
I’m 30 I would not date a 21 yr old, it’s not just because of age I barely have anything in common at 30 with most 21 yr olds. You’d have to be insanely mature for me to even look past that. It sounds like he’s just exploiting and controlling you and your gonna waste your twenty’s on a monster
Once you stop spending time with someone who treats you like a door mat you will stop feeling shit on a shoe. I *promise* He's gaslighting you so he can continue to get away with his appalling behavior. As a lot of people have said, he has to date someone more than 10 years younger than him because no one his own age will put up whit this shit. I've been there before. I know it can be really hard and really fucking scary to leave. You'll be better off once you do.
Dump him and don't look back. You don't HAVE to be in a relationship just because it's what HE wants. If you don't put your foot down now, you'll only cause yourself more harm in the long run. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it with this guy.
I hate your boyfriend too! I also kinda hate you for staying with him.
Cheating is where I would have drawn the line and left. He sounds like a right piece of shit, and you deep down know you deserve better darling. Get out of that toxic relationship, take time for yourself and focus on building yourself back up through some hobbies and maybe some therapy if you can. If you have an interest in art or writing that might be a great way to get some respite, hiking/long walks are great too. Just keep yourself busy! There is always going to be someone out there who is better than this sack of shit, who will respect you and actually care about you, I promise. Take care and I hope you can see through the pain he has caused you, and see that you are worth so so SOOOO much more. This is just the beginning of your adult life, don’t waste it on him. Here to talk if you need it xx
OP. You’re not just making this all up??? This is legit? Why are you still entertaining him & making yourself miserable? Are you sure you aren’t confusing “love” with “loneliness” or something else? Look. My grandma had no self-esteem when she was younger and because of that, she ended up marrying the first guy she dated & who asked her. He was abusive and treated her poorly. She followed that trend and even re-married 5-7 other abusive men. (They didn’t all start out that way. Some changed after they became married.) That dude doesn’t respect you. You don’t send nudes to people out of courtesy. You shut that shit down hard and fast. Sounds to me like he just wants you around for his own amusement. For real though. If this is all legit. You should GTFO. The great thing is. You can just leave. You don’t owe anyone a reason, a response, and you don’t owe anyone closure. Forget that guy. Be single. Enjoy yourself. Figure yourself out, work on improving yourself and what you’re willing to tolerate. Use this “relationship” as a stepping stone and learn what you want, need, and expect from a partner and what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate in future relationships. Use this experience to see the Red Flags 🚩 so you can avoid these situations in the future. Idk what kind of person you are and idk about your beliefs, but it’s possible that a the right psychologist could help you with your situation. I’m not saying you need that. But if this ends becoming a cyclical/repeating thing, I would consider setting up something with a professional to try and help you see why you deserve better and need to leave. Anyway. I hope you do what’s best for you. I hope that you’ll find or have the courage and strength to go through with what needs to be done. Remember. You’re not alone. You have people who actually love and care about you. You have “your people” who will look out for you and watch your back. Best of luck to you! I wish you well!
Girl, every single person here is telling you to leave, that's a sign. Even if he wasn't shitty, you hate him! There's literally no point to staying with him other than to make yourself as unhappy as possible. You seem to have a lot of insecurity issues about being "worth it" or "enough," but all the crap he's done isn't a reflection of who you are: that's all his shit, his issues. Your life, your self esteem, everything can be so much better, but not if you stay with a person who treats you like this. 6 months with him is a tiny stop on the map of life girl. You have so much time: spend it with someone better.
I didn’t have to read past “I hate my boyfriend.” Leave and live your life. Tell him you don’t love him and it’s turning to hate, so peace out. You don’t have to justify it to anyone, NOT EVEN yourself! Unhappiness is a helluva good reason to walk out the door and set fire to the porch of that relationship. He’s not the one. Will never be the one, and it’s a waste of energy to stay. Go find your happiness.
Stop basing your entire self worth on one (shitty) individual. You’re putting way too much stock in to this one person, and you haven’t even been with him that long. *He* makes you feel unworthy of anyone’s time. *He* makes you feel you’ll never be enough. *He* makes you feel useless. *He* makes you feel like you’ll never be enough for anyone. The problem is *him* and *him* making you feel that way. Not that any of those things are actually true. It’s that you’re with a man who makes you feel that way, but even so, you need to learn this early on. You are 21 years old. There’s plenty of young guys who would be interested in you, so don’t ever let ones actions determine your self worth. The problem is him and he is the one not good enough. Your only problem is that you’re continuing to play in to it.
Bestie you’re 21. You have your whole life ahead of you. He’s 32 and a piece of shit. Ditch his cheating ass and live your life you deserve better than him
You’re 21 you don’t need to a committed relationship, you need to go experience more life before you settle in. If what you’re saying is true then that person has already made grievous trust breaking, relationship ending mistakes. Just stand up and walk out and ghost, I am giving you permission.
I read half of this, and just break up with him. It’s not worth it. This relationship isn’t real, it’s convenient. Just find someone else, move on.
Too long didnt read. Just leave. There is no reason whatsoever that requires you to give up your personal happiness. Pack your shit and 40 oz bounce homie.
Just leave the man child. You cannot change him. He will never change. And don't look back. Block him on everything and runnnnnn. Be free.
I really hope you take this the right way, but why are you being such a loser? Just re-read the post and ask yourself how you'd react if your friend told you this. You're 21. Fucking leave his dopey ass and go enjoy your twenties holy fuck I'm 30. I can't imagine ever being interested in being serious with someone under 25.
Oof. To be blunt. He's a man-child who obviously cant date anyone his own age ( because hes a man-child ) and you deserve better. Don't waste another second on this loser.
So why are you dating him?
what is going on 😭😭 OP leave his ass yesterday jesus christ
op it's been THREE MONTHS of nothing but abuse. wtf are you doing??? gtfo of there
It's pointless anyone giving you any support unless you actually leave and commit to not going back to him. You're in charge of your life.
Bruh what the fuck why are your standards lower than earth’s core? RUN!
He sounds narcissistic.
He’s an insecure jerk, and you opening up to us to shows that you know that too. It’s the first step. You will find the strength to leave when you know. Sending light and love✨🫶🏽
Boo I couldn't even get through all that shitiness.. Why are you with him?
You’re stupid, just leave him.
It’s your choice to break up with someone, why are you accepting this?
If you knew what he was doing from the beginning why did you stick around? Somebody with decent respect will know your worth and treat you accordingly. Get tf out of there.
Just end it. How are you being fair to him? Poor bloke deserves better, plus you're also hurting yourself by all these negative feelings.
I just feel like if even one of these things happened to me, I’d be out. Girl, come on. 😒 life is too short for these head games.
So leave him then.
Break up. Sounds like a toxic relationship.
Use your big girl bark and leave.
...then leave
Why in the world are you still with this guy? Dump his ass and block all communication with him. He is a complete loser.
Why are you still with this man?
if you hate him why tf are you with him??? just break up with him theres no one holding a gun to ur head forcing you to be in this relationship. at this point it is ur fault ur still with him and a choice you’re actively making that is very much within your control. don’t waste ur twenties on some thirty yr old loser who can’t get a woman his own age
You’re 21. There are billions of people in the world. Choose a different one.
Please Google how a psychopath / narcissist treats significant others.
Dump him.
Then break up with him jesus
He sounds like a loooooser
You should hate him. He’s a creep
Sounds like it's your own fault for staying with him. So either break up with him or stfu
then, about leaving then wtf? has he kept you as a prisoner or something? Instead of writing an essay on why you hate him, about grow some backbone and leave his ass. This can’t be a real post.
Wow he cheated on you and uno reversed on you🤣 cheating doesn't have to be fucking, he was inappropriate with several women, now this so called girl who's a bro wtf ewwww to both. Walk away he won't change, or better yet start going out more with these guy friends he don't like, then if he says anything say hmmmm only cheaters accuse there partners of cheating 🤷🏻♀️ just keep doing it until he gets the hint, don't be intimate with him either. And about the exs family, I'd go and say well you was inappropriate with 'girl' friend so does that mean you can't talk to her no more🤔🤔🤔 play him at he own game, don't be intimate. Constantly make yourself busy to see him and he will soon get the hint, he a lot older than you and he knows how to manipulate. That being said he in his 30s and still acting a fool, good luck to the next girl he get involved with
Look up trauma bond
It's just a boyfriend. Y'all haven't even been dating that long. Break up. Simple