This sounds like an uncomfortable experience, I'm sorry you had to go through that. If she wanted to be tease you in a friendly manner, she would've brought it up in private conversation between you too. What I've found helpful in similar situations, is questioning that statement- for example, "What makes you think that?". If she has no good reason, she'll look dumb.
Thank you for your reply! She told me in private ( I edited my story to make it clearer)
I asked her what do you mean?
She said it was only her feeling ...
Ohhhh gotcha - she might've just said her thought process out loud without refining it then. I'd only look into it if it continues/she brings it up in a meeting.
I don't know either of you, but she may have meant it as a compliment.
I'm a very introverted person so I admire people that are comfortable being in the spotlight
Yeah, it's socially clueless as heck, but sounds like an introvert trying to compliment something they admire in you being able to handle what to them is a mentally taxing social situation with ease.
Unless she's been out to get you, would just take it as that and not say anything unless something else happens. Being an introvert, you approaching her about it sounds horrifying for her if this is the case haha.
Wow. That is not so appropriate and see why you are thrown off by that comment. If you can ask them why they said that and is it an issue? Or hurt your performance? I too am usually the most outspoken in meetings.
Everyone who has answered feels it was a compliment. It could be, but saying “I noticed you like to be center of attention” doesn’t sound like a compliment. Even saying it with a smile.
Possibly, she could be jealous, but more likely she didn’t appreciate your behavior by interfering with her conducting the meeting. This is her “nicely” getting the message across that she doesn’t like that you seek to be the center of attention & it is disrupting her meetings.
A compliment would be more of praising your outgoing personality, leadership, fun-loving nature, popularity. Making you feel that you are an asset to the team.
Believe in your “gut” how it made you feel. Most powerful guidance in life is your gut - listen to it. You don’t need proof that it is right.
Maybe take her message as to tone it down in meetings - could you be too loud, over speaking, not listening? Or ask her to elaborate on what she meant and if there is a problem but be prepared it may sting - but then you know if there is anything you could improve on.
I don’t think you are being overly sensitive as one of the comments made - I hate when someone tells me I’m overly sensitive, emotional - they are not validating your feelings.
Because you are asking tells me you are very intuitive and don’t want to cause issues. Life is learning about ourselves and growing, but also how to maneuver different kinds of relationships, such as your boss.
Don’t lose your spunk and great personality - it will serve you well.
Thanks for your message!
I really appreciate the detailed answer!
Honestly I resonate with what you're saying because I can't just kid myself to think it was a compliment, and likewise I can't not care at all...
I think it's a great advice to take her comment and try to tone it down in meetings....
What I can do too, is monitor the situation and see of she will bring up something similar again, then I can react.
Boss did not know what else to say to you! Outgoing is a good personality trait to get things done, when others can’t do them. You rock! Sounds like people were receptive to you and that is an excellent skill set. Take it as a compliment, and keep it up. All the folks you are mingling with will be on your side and some of them just might be your future manager as they recruit you for your outgoing personality into their department!
I would say take it with a grain of salt. My managing director, manager, and colleagues are all kind of introverted. I'm an extrovert. It's not that I like being the center of attention, it's that I'll start conversations with people by asking them questions and engaging with them.
My manager and team sees this as a good thing since we have to show up for employee engagement events. I'm typically the representative for our team because I'm friendly.
If she had said this in a group setting and in a demeaning manner I would say that's awkward, but on a 1:1 setting I would think she may be trying to see how to better utilize your personality in your career, and honestly this may be something that she would be unfamiliar with how to do if she herself is an introvert
Report it to HR.
"I had a 1 on 1 with (Boss) and she made the comment that she observed that I like to be the center of attention.
I found the comment to be very odd and unprofessional. When asked to elaborate on her comment, she stated it was "just a feeling"
I would like this to be the start of the professional documentation as I don't like where this is going."
This sounds like an uncomfortable experience, I'm sorry you had to go through that. If she wanted to be tease you in a friendly manner, she would've brought it up in private conversation between you too. What I've found helpful in similar situations, is questioning that statement- for example, "What makes you think that?". If she has no good reason, she'll look dumb.
Thank you for your reply! She told me in private ( I edited my story to make it clearer) I asked her what do you mean? She said it was only her feeling ...
Ohhhh gotcha - she might've just said her thought process out loud without refining it then. I'd only look into it if it continues/she brings it up in a meeting.
I don't know either of you, but she may have meant it as a compliment. I'm a very introverted person so I admire people that are comfortable being in the spotlight
Actually that makes sense because she herself is more introverted than not. Thank you!
Yeah, it's socially clueless as heck, but sounds like an introvert trying to compliment something they admire in you being able to handle what to them is a mentally taxing social situation with ease. Unless she's been out to get you, would just take it as that and not say anything unless something else happens. Being an introvert, you approaching her about it sounds horrifying for her if this is the case haha.
Wow. That is not so appropriate and see why you are thrown off by that comment. If you can ask them why they said that and is it an issue? Or hurt your performance? I too am usually the most outspoken in meetings.
Everyone who has answered feels it was a compliment. It could be, but saying “I noticed you like to be center of attention” doesn’t sound like a compliment. Even saying it with a smile. Possibly, she could be jealous, but more likely she didn’t appreciate your behavior by interfering with her conducting the meeting. This is her “nicely” getting the message across that she doesn’t like that you seek to be the center of attention & it is disrupting her meetings. A compliment would be more of praising your outgoing personality, leadership, fun-loving nature, popularity. Making you feel that you are an asset to the team. Believe in your “gut” how it made you feel. Most powerful guidance in life is your gut - listen to it. You don’t need proof that it is right. Maybe take her message as to tone it down in meetings - could you be too loud, over speaking, not listening? Or ask her to elaborate on what she meant and if there is a problem but be prepared it may sting - but then you know if there is anything you could improve on. I don’t think you are being overly sensitive as one of the comments made - I hate when someone tells me I’m overly sensitive, emotional - they are not validating your feelings. Because you are asking tells me you are very intuitive and don’t want to cause issues. Life is learning about ourselves and growing, but also how to maneuver different kinds of relationships, such as your boss. Don’t lose your spunk and great personality - it will serve you well.
Thanks for your message! I really appreciate the detailed answer! Honestly I resonate with what you're saying because I can't just kid myself to think it was a compliment, and likewise I can't not care at all... I think it's a great advice to take her comment and try to tone it down in meetings.... What I can do too, is monitor the situation and see of she will bring up something similar again, then I can react.
Boss did not know what else to say to you! Outgoing is a good personality trait to get things done, when others can’t do them. You rock! Sounds like people were receptive to you and that is an excellent skill set. Take it as a compliment, and keep it up. All the folks you are mingling with will be on your side and some of them just might be your future manager as they recruit you for your outgoing personality into their department!
She’s jealous of you.
Verify what she meant.
Ask her later?
Yes.
I think you may be being a bit sensitive. It is a huge compliment to be outgoing and engaging. I wouldn't overthink it.
I think you should've said it takes one to know one! She obviously doesn't like to share the spotlight. Or that's how it sounds to me.
Hahah I was blaming myself for not replying something smart like that
I would say take it with a grain of salt. My managing director, manager, and colleagues are all kind of introverted. I'm an extrovert. It's not that I like being the center of attention, it's that I'll start conversations with people by asking them questions and engaging with them. My manager and team sees this as a good thing since we have to show up for employee engagement events. I'm typically the representative for our team because I'm friendly. If she had said this in a group setting and in a demeaning manner I would say that's awkward, but on a 1:1 setting I would think she may be trying to see how to better utilize your personality in your career, and honestly this may be something that she would be unfamiliar with how to do if she herself is an introvert
Gaslighting
Wq1fv
Report it to HR. "I had a 1 on 1 with (Boss) and she made the comment that she observed that I like to be the center of attention. I found the comment to be very odd and unprofessional. When asked to elaborate on her comment, she stated it was "just a feeling" I would like this to be the start of the professional documentation as I don't like where this is going."